The Rainy Day Trip
Part XVIII
By Saphron
Diniego (ie: Disclaimer-Italian! YEAH!!!!!! Fun!!! Works with this ch.!!! Which is fun!!!! I mean, er divertimento-fun-fun!) Bene, che tutti conoscono il trivello, tutto appartenete al TP. Well, you all know the drill, everything belongs to TP. Now, for some pizza sauce and parmesan-cheese and all will be well! Oh jeez, now I've made myself hungry! ::stomach grumbles:: I'm gonna go have some leftovers, California-style pizza, with pineapples, yum! Buon consumo! Er, I mean, goda leggere! He-he! Better head on over to the kitchen before I slip up on my Italian sayings again! It's ok to put tinfoil in the microwave right? I think so. ::loud explosion:: or Maybenot! Anyhow,
I'm blabbing, off to reading!
I actually have put tinfoil in the microwave before and there was a tiny 'pop' explosion and a bunch of flames, my little brother tried to douse it with newspaper, but that made it worse, and my little sister had to get the fire hydrant out, I just stood there gasping and screaming, "what in the bloody hell?!?!?! (Woo!-literally there) and then of course my vacuum had to wander into the kitchen (my dog-whenever she hears any noise protruding from the kitchen she comes running like Yogi Bear-(whom I don't own peeps)) and first she got in the way of my sister reaching the fire hydrant (she's b-i-g) and then when she finally moved she came up to me and wanted me to pet her but I shoved her out of the way and she ended up saving the day by running for help (although actually I think she was just mad at me for pushing her) b/c my sister couldn't work the damn fire-putter-outer thingy and so my dog got my mom who nearly passed out but instead grabbed the red cylinder thingamagiger from sister and put it out. So all was well. Except for my month grounding punishment and being forced to go to 'fire-safety' school, plus the oath that I would never use a microwave again as long as I live. Ok then, me *smart.* Now that you've had this little flashback of my life, you may continue to read, just remember-DON'T EVER PUT TINFOIL IN THE MICROWAVE!!!!! It's a bad idea, trust me on this one.
A/N: Hello peeps, like I said last ch.-this is short, but kinda funny (at least in my opinion) used as an attempted cure for writer's block. ::sighs:: didn't help, but it was fun to write! So enjoy. And laugh a little. (As if you didn't already from my stupidity on being so technology impaired I can't use a microwave right-which is pretty pathetic)
Sorry about taking so long, I know, it got all the way bumped onto page 2!!!!! Sucks major---but there were some *minor* difficulties, (plus I'm writing a new Kel fic, that shall be LONG!) and anyhow, let's all look past that evil period in time I like to refer to as "No Man's Land" (thank you Claven Godfry!) and move on in our lives. B/c here it is: enjoy.
And…most importantly…this ch. is dedicated to l.j.-an awesome (and patient) personal friend who is also the BEST BETA READER in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here me? The BEST!! She was sooooo patient! (I've never heard of attachments or any of that crap till she told me all 'bout them-took a looong time to get through outer layer one) And caught little mistakies too--I suck at grammar and spelling, but thanks to her, this ch. would make even my humanities teacher happy (which is really saying something.) So thank thank thank you! A bazillion times thank you! This ch. is for you hun.
Oh-and this is l.j.'s sign off thing-it's cool
How do you wait for heaven
And who has that much time
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know you were born
You were born to fly
It's the chorus from "Born to Fly" by Sara Evans.
Anyhoo-now time for the long awaited chapter 18!
The next morning Kel awoke to the loud banging of pots and pans. Cleon and Joren were both still asleep. They could sleep through anything, she thought to herself. She slid open the door a tiny crack and glanced out. A few men (she couldn't tell how many from her position) were wandering around *cooking*. None of them were very adept at it. She saw Raoul look questionably at two bags of white sand, (sugar or salt) and Sam was mixing a bowl of eggs, with the shells, and Michael was frowning at a lump of dough Kel assumed was meant to be pancakes. All of the men still wore an absent-minded expression on their faces and their eyes were glassy.
Suddenly the door burst open and the wizard stormed in, robes billowing behind him. Noticing the eggs benedict gone askew he bellowed at the men, "Incompetent fools! You can do nothing right! I send you to find three little children, and what happens? You loose them! And you can't even make me breakfast! You're worthless!" he groaned in exasperation. "When you are finished 'cooking', if it can even be called that, bring me my breakfast, I'll be in my study." He wrinkled his pointy nose, "Um, you guys can all eat some porridge or something. And after you eat, go look for those kids again! If we don't find them soon, I'll lose all control over my beasts! And that would be bad. So get back to work!" He finished with a shout, before exiting like a raging storm.
Kel slipped back inside the storeroom add turned to find Joren awake and shaking Cleon to get him up too.
Kel smiled, "Hey guys, I think I have an idea!"
*
The kitchen lay deserted; the men had all gone out carrying trays up to Vlasmear the wizard, leaving a big vat of cold, lumpy porridge. The three exited their little alcove and into the abandoned room. Cleon got the honor of dumping the nightshade in the porridge, after all, he had found it. They were going to copy Mr.-I'll-slip-crap-into-your-food-when-you-least-expect it, by following his slip the powder in the meal idea.
He walked up to it grinning, uncorked the cap, and dumped it in. Kel helped mix with a wooden spoon, and Joren kept lookout. They didn't know how long it would take effect, but now at least they were doing something productive and useful.
Sure enough the men came back in grumbling, they frowned at the tub of mush but nonetheless got out bowls and spoons and dug in, half-heartily. Then they left to go search the forest outside the tower for the three kids, who were, unbeknownst to them, hiding in the very room they had just left.
'Ok, so now what?' Seemed to be the question on each of their minds. They had un-poisonized the men, so now it was time to defeat the wizard and his beasts.
But how exactly would they go about getting rid of pesky, gold-hungry wizards? "Well, they could always conk him on the head with a frying pan." Cleon suggested. "Either that of feed him some of the disgusting gruel."
Speaking of gruel, even though it was gross, you'd expect the kids to loose their appetites. But they hadn't eaten since-um, since a long time, and they were hungry. And besides, you couldn't fight evil wizards and their beasts on an empty stomach, right?
They started going through the kitchen, looking for anything edible. As long as all the men were out looking for them, and chances are wouldn't be back until they found them (which obviously wasn't going to happen), or until it grew too dark, and the wizard was oblivious off in his study, they might as well make themselves breakfast.
They salvaged five eggs, some milk, a big bag of flower, half of a chicken, (they didn't touch that, nor the pickled beats), and a few other things, and loaded them onto the island center.
Kel took charge. "Okay, guys, listen up! Cleon, you're on egg-duty. I want to see those eggs cracked, mixed, scrambled, and ready to eat!" she ordered.
"Yes sir!" he saluted. "Er, ma'am."
"Joren, you can, um, make pancakes."
He shrugged. "Whatever."
"I'll do everything else. And help you guys out too, so get to work!" She bellowed, enjoying her role as leader.
Soon Cleon and Joren were bickering again, as usual. This time, what's better, eggs or pancakes? Kel was doing commentary (she had long ago given up on these two and decided to just play along), "It's the debate of the century folks, who will win? On this side we've got the- hey, who won the great chicken/cow debate?"
"Me."
"Oh-on this corner we've got the defending champion-Joren!" (Boos from
Cleon)
"And at this side, the amazing Cleon!"
"Hey how come he gets the tile of 'amazing?' I want a title!"
"Er-"
"How bout Joren the Jerk?"
"How bout Cleon the Clown?"
"How bout the Balmy Boys?
Fifteen minuets later eggshells were flying through the air, Cleon was covered in white powder and could be found licking batter he had stolen from Joren's bowl off the spoon. Joren was chasing Cleon and throwing lobs of butter at him. Kel was shrieking and trying to restore order, but no luck. She laughed and joined in the fray, dumping a bowl of blueberries on Joren's head and then grabbing the cinnamon shaker to shake some on Cleon's already messy red hair.
Eventually (after a loooong time) order was restored, and the three sat down to a nice hot meal of pancakes, toast, and scrambled eggs, grinning their heads off and thankful to be able to act like little kids again.
*
They ate silently, each thinking their own thoughts. Kel was obliviously staring off into space, wondering what Neal and the others were doing as she sat there chewing. Little did she see two pairs of eyes locked right on her.
***
~*Saphron*~
A/N: So any idea peeps? I've been trying to figure out how to defeat Vlas-um, no luck. I personally just want to push the creep out of a fifty story window, but alas, no windows! So that option was ruled out! If anyone has any suggestions or does anyone wanna write this ch. for me? ::grins:: Ok, seriously, I need ideas! Please, I beg of you!
A/A/N: And thanks to all my reviewers! I think once I get a hundred reviews (if that ever happens) I'll do a special thank you thing and name all of you! That'd be cool, yeah, thanks guys!
A/A/A/N: Hey peeps, you'll like this I think. I've decided to do a master count of the great Joren/Cleon conflict. Below you should see two little tally thingys, the first one if the total number of reviews/forum for either one of the aforementioned boys. The second one is were each person gets ONE vote each, so if you reviewed more then once requesting so and so, it counts in the first count, but not the second. Anyhow, so far we are up to…
|
Total # of Reviews/Forum |
Total # of Peeps |
|
|
Cleon |
12 |
6 |
|
Joren |
16 |
12 |
As you can see peeps, so far Joren is winning…of course, this isn't the final tally, not by a long stretch. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, or until the crazed POTS lover and fanfic writer finally makes up her mind. And I could have miscounted (and I know for a fact that I did, kinda, b/c I made this chart awhile ago, and then more people reviewed, and I didn't add them in cause I ain't messin' with this d**m chart anymore. I think there were four or so more Joren and two more Cleon but I don remember, something like that.) And half the time peeps didn't directly vote but just indicted who they're all for, so y'know, this is very sketchy. This is just to get a ruff count of where we are. Although, as someone famous once said (forgot name) "the numbers speak for themselves," so I don't know. Hard to argue with math. There are peeps out there that feel very strongly about the subject, on both sides. So it's still undecided! I'm really bad at this sort of thing; I've never been good at writing fluff. And look what happened! Hmm…would you all murder me with pickaxes if I stayed neutral? Most likely. I don't know how Switzerland does it. Well anyhow, I just wanted to get a total counting. Better vote if you really want it to go a certain way, I recommend it.
PS: Like my chart? Took me half a bloody hour to figure out how to do it, (and lot's of clicking the 'undo' and 'redo' buttons!) I'm so computer illiterate it's not even funny. Actually it kinda is, most humorous; my friends get a kick out of laughing at me when I ask them how to do such and such. They tell me that instead of getting regular ol' bedbugs in my bed I get computer-bugs, which would explain all the mysterious megabytes in the morning. Get it? Funny ha-ha, yea I know lame, sorry. But oh well, whatever.
::Sighs:: I really need ideas. You have no idea how badly. If I don't get any, and I don't think up of any…well…Rainy Day will, um, end. Not because I want it to, but because it has nowhere to go. And you all wouldn't want that to happen would you? So…pleez, I beg of you, ideas!
I'm serious, I've hit a brick wall, Rainy Day will, alas, end up in the trash. I have another Kel fic to keep me occupied, so never doubt, it will happen. I don't mean to be pressurizing you guys or anything, I'm just stuck. Pleez? I'm sorry, I know, unprofessional and very bad ::slaps wrist:: naughty Saphron!:: I'm sorry! ::sighs:: won't be able to say that enough.