Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I think that's fairly obvious.
Warnings: Rated PG for being shounen-ai (more specifically, Yamachi)... Apparently, some buttholes out there think there is something wrong with true love. Go figure. This part is sappier than Taichi's, I think. Bwah, I don't write sap well! Everything sounds corny. Oh, and well... I can't help but include Jyoushiro in almost every one of my fics because I just think it's so much fun! And Yamato think-swears a bit. ^_^;;;
A/N: Uh... I got bored and decided to write Yamato's p.o.v. Great, ne? Behold the hypocrisy of it all! I just realized I forgot to mention ages... I don't really know how old they are. Say, grade 11ish? Original version-wise, not in the dub, 'cause they're already that old... And please note that I am not a Sorato fan and I want it to die.
The Pain of Rejection
He looks bored. Bored out of his mind. I wonder what he's thinking right now. He just looked at Sora... I think I get it...
What fun it is to hear Koushiro go on about thermonuclear dynamics. He sounds like Jyou for crying out loud. I wonder when those two'll get together. This whole 'Let's not tell each other how we feel even though it's so obvious we're hot for each other' deal is starting to annoy the shit out of me. Who am I kidding? I'm jealous as hell. Not of Koushiro or Jyou... of what they've got.
There goes Koushiro again, talking about his computer. Like I care where Bill Gates is taking Microsoft now. I look at Taichi again. He's staring at me. Again. He knows I'm in a crummy mood. I can't help but grin at him. He's so cute...
I wonder if he knows I'm head-over-heels in love with him. Probably not. If he would, I'm sure he'd freak. Who wants their best male friend to be in love with them? Me, that's who. It's strange; I feel as though we're meant to be. I just love him so much that I can't even see myself with anyone else. Male nor female. Either would be a lie to myself. Which is why I finally broke it off with Sora. I don't know what I was thinking... I guess you could say I love her, but I'm not in love with her. She's like a sister, which is exactly what Taichi said about her.
I wish I could tell him. I really do. But I'm too damn scared to. I wonder what would happen if I just leapt over the table and kissed him, right here, in the middle of the crowded cafeteria. Maybe he'd punch me in the face. Maybe he'd kiss me back, but I doubt it. Maybe... I don't know what else.
I'm so confused. How can I be scared of love? I find this much too complicated... I don't know how everyone would react if I came out and told everyone the way I felt for him. I haven't told anyone, and it feels like I'm burning up inside. I wish wasn't so damn cowardly! I wish I was Taichi, he has the Crest of Courage. He isn't scared of anything! Not like I am, anyway. I really admire him... I guess that's part of why I like him so much. In fact, there was this one day not so long ago that I could have sworn he was going to kiss me... I'm so stupid. I actually expected it to happen. It was just... the look in his eyes and stuff. I don't know, maybe I was imagining it.
I wrote a song for him. How corny is that?! I'm pathetic. I wrote it right after I broke up with Sora. I'm never going to sing it, and I'm never showing it to anyone else. I'm keeping it for myself. I put a lot of thought into it, and worked really hard on it, and I'm quite proud of it, but it's too sappy for me to even read it out loud.
I think the bell is going to ring soon... one more class and I get to go home and think about how great it would be if Taichi and I were finally together in peace. Maybe even practice that song... Heh, yeah, right. If Taichi managed to hear it somehow, I think I'd die. Not just of embarrassment, but of fear, and a whole bunch of other things I don't want to think about... I don't want my feelings to be heard, and especially not mocked. The risk of rejection is too great and the pain is too much to bear.
That's why my song will remain unsung, and my love will be unspoken.