Author's Notes:
Hello Hello SM fans! I Dream-chan, submit for your approval another installment of Reasonable Doubt. I dedicate this chapter to my best online friend, Sere-chan ^_^, and of course a BIG shout goes out to Moon-chan, Nye-chan, and Light-chan, for their hard work. *loud applause* Umm...this chapter is going to have a little more swearing than usual, cause Serena is about to throw a MAJOR FIT (one I think Darien deserves), and things tend to get a little more heated. You have been warned!!!
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon isn't mine, cause if it was I would have more than some old textbooks and empty pizza boxes.
" "=dialogue
* *=thought
** **=conscience
CAPS=emphasis
Title: Reasonable Doubt
Author: Midnight Dreamer
Rating: R (just in case)
Email: madintellect@hotmail.com
Straining for composure, Darien met eyes that were turbulent as his own. "First, you have to know that I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. I know you don't think that way.." Darien said as he noticed the scowl on Serena's face "but, that is the truth. Promise not to interrupt me?" Darien asked, waiting anxiously for her answer. **C'mon Serena, just let him tell you, this might be the last time he's open about it** "Alright...I promise." she said resignedly, getting comfortable against the rail.
Seeing that she was going to stay put, Darien turned around to look out at the midnight waters. "Thank you...now as I was saying. I know that I hurt you, but what you don't know was at the same time I ripped my own heart Most people think that the problems they have as grownups stem from something that happened in childhood. Well, I'm no different." Gathering courage, Darien began to tell Serena about the woman that nurutured him, and loved him, until eventually bitterness caused her to abandon him...his mother.
His mother had been the epitome of the career woman, until the birth of her son. In the early years, just having to take care of Darien seemed to fulfill her until she started to remember her life before her child. As each year passed, she seemed to become more and more distracted until she finally decided that her career meant more to her than the family she created. Only being eight years old at the time, Darien was shocked and hurt by his mother's abandonment.
Flashback
"How long are you going to be away Mama?" Darien asked, looking at all the suitcases by the door.
"I don't know sweetie" his mother replied, crouching down to give him a hug.
"Will you bring me back something?" the little boy asked having a funny feeling take hold of his stomach.
"I sure will...now Mama has to go. I love you" Darien's mother said, as she stood up, grabbed her bags, and walked out, leaving her oung son in the doorway.
"Love you too, Mama" Darien said, watching his mother walk to the waiting taxi.
End Flashback
That would be the last time he would see her. Two weeks later, she sent a letter to his father, asking for a divorce. Throughout this ordeal, his father tried his best to keep up a cheerful front for his son, but even Darien could tell that his father was struggling with his wife's desertion. After awhile, his father started drinking to ease the pain of losing the woman he loved. However, in the process he pushed away the only reminder of her he had left of her...their son. Feeling neglected and unloved by the two most imporatant people in life, Darien vowed to himself that he would never become anyone's burden and he would keep his heart to himself. That was until he met Serena.
"Serena, you have no idea how much joy and light you brought into my life. Just a simple smile from you would brighten up the rest of my day. Then came the day you told me about the internship in New York..."
Flashback
Sitting down at his desk, Darien was studying for his political science class. Just as he was about to start taking notes on Locke's theories, he heard someone knocking at the door. "Coming" he called out finding a bookmark so he could save the place in the book. Getting up he walked to the door and opened it. There on the other side stood his girlfriend Serena, with the beatific smile on her face."Hey sweetie..." she said as she reached up on tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Pulling her in the apartment, Darien reached for her and gave her a kiss of his own. "Hello yourself! Why are you in such good mood?" he asked, noticing the bright gleam in her eyes.
"I made it! They accepted me!! Can you believe Darien?!??! I thought for sure that I wouldn't get picked..." Serena kept talking while a confused Darien just looked on. When she finally slowed down to take a breath, Darien jumped right in. "Whoa...sweetheart, what are you talking about?" "Oops, I never did tell you, did I?", Serena said, noticing the confusion on Darien's face. "Well, I applied for this law internship and I was accepted!" "That's great!! I'm so proud of you! Why didn't you tell me?" Darien asked, giving her a big hug. "I didn't want to say anything just in case I didn't make it. You're not mad at me, are you?" Serena asked slowly. "Of course not Sunshine, why would I be?" "Oh...I'm so happy to hear you say that Darien, because I was really worried that you wouldn't want me to go..." Serena said. When she said this, Darien was a little confused. *Where is she going? What is she talking about? Trust her not to tell me EVERYTHING...* he mused looking down into her beaming face. When Darien asked her these questions, the smile that was on her face slowly disappeared to be replaced a somber look.
Taking her chin in his hand, he tilted up her face. Noticing the glazed look in her eyes, he started to get worried. "Serena, you know that you can tell me anything, right? Please tell me what's wrong." "I don't know if I should, because you might be upset with me..." Serena started before Darien gently interrupted. " But you won't know until you tell me. C'mon...it's hurting you to keep it inside so just spit it out". "Alright...Ihavetogotonewyork", Serena said quickly, hoping that he wouldn't make her say it again. Darien just laughed and said, "Can you please repeat that, but a little slower." "I have to go to New York." Serena said slowly, drawing out each word. As she said these words, Darien felt the smile on his face falter.
Looking into her eyes, he asked her how long would she be in New York, and the frown grew deeper on her face. "Well...the internship is for a whole semester. I wanted to get a summer slot, but they said that they had already filled those positions, but let's not worry about that. We'll make it work if that is what you were worried about. Now we can...." Serena started to say as Darien's attention began to waver.
*I should have seen this coming...this is what I get for opening my heart again...well this time, I'm going to be the one to leave. I just can't go through that pain again. Oh Serena please forgive me*, he thought, looking at the young woman he had grown to love with all his heart.
Pasting on another fake smile, Darien said, "That's great honey! I'm happy for you" as he pulled Serena to him in a hug. *This may be one of the few that I have left* he mused while stroking her hair. At this Serena returned the embrace, hoping that everything was alright between them, not knowing the private anguish he tried so desperately to conceal.
End Flashback
"And now you know why...the reason I broke up with you. I could see that you were torn into taking the position, one that you worked so hard for, so I would push you in the direction you wanted to go. I tried of thinking of other ways, but I know that you would have just found a reason to turn it down. I couldn't let you do that, because I would feel guilty knowing what you gave up to stay with me. You may feel that I overreacted to the situation, but I just couldn't risk being a burden to you. Seeing how much you have achieved in such a short time, I don't regret what I did either. Please Serena, I hope that you know how truly sorry I am and that I hope one day you can forgive me." Darien finished, as he turned around to gauge Serena's reaction.
Expecting tears, he was quite surprised when he saw the look of pure anger on her delicate features. He reached out to her, but stopped when she backed away from him. This reaction confused him even more. "Serena...Sere, are you alright?" he asked hesitantly, still looking at her.
"How...how could you do that to me? to us?" she said quietly in a voice devoid of any emotion. Growing angrier by the minute, she started to get louder. "How could you be so damn SELFISH?!?!?! I thought we were stronger than that Darien." Serena said, as she turned away from him, trying to hide her tears. Her control started to slip as she continued to vent her emotions. "Do you have any idea what you did to me when you said it was over? You shattered my heart and made it impossible for anyone else to repair it. Do you know the loneliness I've felt because I'm scared of letting anyone else get close? Do you know how many tears I've cried at night because of this? Do you know that the HELL I've went through has been for NOTHING?!?" she said in an accusing tone.
Looking at the trembling woman in front of him, Darien was stunned by her words. *What does she mean 'nothing'*, he thought, trying to digest all the accusations she threw his way. Seeing the tears and hearing the hurt in her voice, he was could only stand there helplessly. *What have I done? Could she be right? Was I selfish and only thought of myself? Can't she realize that I did what I had to do for her? Can't she see that it tore me up inside too?* Darien thought sadly, still looking at the distraught woman in front of him.
"So why are you telling me this now? Wait...let me answer that for you...because of your fucking GUILT!" she sneered at him. Ignoring the tragic look on his face she continued to let loose. "So...you thought that I would be just like your mother and abandon you, is that right? Well let me tell you something. I don't give a rat's ass about your feelings anymore, because I don't think that anyone can fix the damage you caused, because you abandoned ME!. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." Serena said as she turned her back on him for the umpteenth time that night. Darien realizing what she was doing, suddenly saw red. *ENOUGH! I've had it...If she won't listen to words, then I'll just have to use another way.*
Grabbing her arm, he swung her around and pulled her to him. Serena was about to protest, until Darien's lips head swooped down and claimed her lips in a forceful kiss. She was in shock for about five seconds when the anger started to race through her body. She put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away. She was even thinking about biting down on his lip...HARD, but the anger began to melt away as it was replaced by something that she felt long ago and could only now barely recognize it. Desire. She tried to fight it at first, but eventually the sensations that were ripping through her body were too strong for her to ignore. Giving into the feelings, her lips parted and her arms wrapped around his neck of their own volition. *Damn if this doesn't bring back memories*, she thought as she let her fingers inch up into his jet-black hair, delighting in the feel of the silky strands.
This seemed to elicit a favorable response from Darien, as he began to pull her closer, trying to close all gaps that separated the two. *Just like I remember...* Darien thought as he sought the inner recesses of her sweet mouth. Darien was surprised at his lack of self control, but quickly forgot about everything when her tongue touched his. Losing himself in the moment, he started that eternal dance that exist between lovers. Hearing the soft noises escaping her mouth, he pulled her even closer.
Serena couldn't believe that this was happening to her....kissing the man that she swore would never touch her, caress her, make her feel again. However, she was losing the battle as she felt the heat begin to rise between them. By this time, Darien had pushed her up against the rail and slid his leg in between her thighs. Loving the sensation of her body molded to his, Serena threw her head back, allowing the night breeze to pluck at her hair. Seeing her neck exposed, Darien took instant advantage, placing kisses up and down her throat.
Eventually giving into the need to breathe, they pulled apart, gasping for air. Simultaneously they both looked into each other's eyes, and as if by unspoken agreement, their heads began to move closer to each other, bring lips closer. At the last moment, they were startled by someone calling Darien's name. Groaning, he lifted his head and snapped out, "What ever it is...it had better be good" The man, who was now blushing, held out a a piece of paper to Darien. "I'm sorry sir, but this wire just came in from the mainland. They said it was urgent. Good night", the man said swiftly as he walked away.
Putting a little distance between Serena and himself, Darien opened the note. Serena became concerned when she saw the color leach from Darien's face. "Darien...what's wrong?" she asked. Lifting his gaze to hers, all she saw was utter sadness. Slowly he handed the note to her, so that she may read it. What she read made her heart stop within her chest.
~Ben Matthews is dead [stop] Come home at once [end]~
to be continued.........
Did u see that one coming minna?!?!? I hope that this was worth the wait! So, now what is going to happen with Matthews? Will Sharpe get their hands on it? Will Darien be able to keep them at bay? Now that Serena knows the reason behind the break-up, what will she do? Stay tuned and find out!
Hello Hello SM fans! I Dream-chan, submit for your approval another installment of Reasonable Doubt. I dedicate this chapter to my best online friend, Sere-chan ^_^, and of course a BIG shout goes out to Moon-chan, Nye-chan, and Light-chan, for their hard work. *loud applause* Umm...this chapter is going to have a little more swearing than usual, cause Serena is about to throw a MAJOR FIT (one I think Darien deserves), and things tend to get a little more heated. You have been warned!!!
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon isn't mine, cause if it was I would have more than some old textbooks and empty pizza boxes.
" "=dialogue
* *=thought
** **=conscience
CAPS=emphasis
Title: Reasonable Doubt
Author: Midnight Dreamer
Rating: R (just in case)
Email: madintellect@hotmail.com
Straining for composure, Darien met eyes that were turbulent as his own. "First, you have to know that I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. I know you don't think that way.." Darien said as he noticed the scowl on Serena's face "but, that is the truth. Promise not to interrupt me?" Darien asked, waiting anxiously for her answer. **C'mon Serena, just let him tell you, this might be the last time he's open about it** "Alright...I promise." she said resignedly, getting comfortable against the rail.
Seeing that she was going to stay put, Darien turned around to look out at the midnight waters. "Thank you...now as I was saying. I know that I hurt you, but what you don't know was at the same time I ripped my own heart Most people think that the problems they have as grownups stem from something that happened in childhood. Well, I'm no different." Gathering courage, Darien began to tell Serena about the woman that nurutured him, and loved him, until eventually bitterness caused her to abandon him...his mother.
His mother had been the epitome of the career woman, until the birth of her son. In the early years, just having to take care of Darien seemed to fulfill her until she started to remember her life before her child. As each year passed, she seemed to become more and more distracted until she finally decided that her career meant more to her than the family she created. Only being eight years old at the time, Darien was shocked and hurt by his mother's abandonment.
Flashback
"How long are you going to be away Mama?" Darien asked, looking at all the suitcases by the door.
"I don't know sweetie" his mother replied, crouching down to give him a hug.
"Will you bring me back something?" the little boy asked having a funny feeling take hold of his stomach.
"I sure will...now Mama has to go. I love you" Darien's mother said, as she stood up, grabbed her bags, and walked out, leaving her oung son in the doorway.
"Love you too, Mama" Darien said, watching his mother walk to the waiting taxi.
End Flashback
That would be the last time he would see her. Two weeks later, she sent a letter to his father, asking for a divorce. Throughout this ordeal, his father tried his best to keep up a cheerful front for his son, but even Darien could tell that his father was struggling with his wife's desertion. After awhile, his father started drinking to ease the pain of losing the woman he loved. However, in the process he pushed away the only reminder of her he had left of her...their son. Feeling neglected and unloved by the two most imporatant people in life, Darien vowed to himself that he would never become anyone's burden and he would keep his heart to himself. That was until he met Serena.
"Serena, you have no idea how much joy and light you brought into my life. Just a simple smile from you would brighten up the rest of my day. Then came the day you told me about the internship in New York..."
Flashback
Sitting down at his desk, Darien was studying for his political science class. Just as he was about to start taking notes on Locke's theories, he heard someone knocking at the door. "Coming" he called out finding a bookmark so he could save the place in the book. Getting up he walked to the door and opened it. There on the other side stood his girlfriend Serena, with the beatific smile on her face."Hey sweetie..." she said as she reached up on tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Pulling her in the apartment, Darien reached for her and gave her a kiss of his own. "Hello yourself! Why are you in such good mood?" he asked, noticing the bright gleam in her eyes.
"I made it! They accepted me!! Can you believe Darien?!??! I thought for sure that I wouldn't get picked..." Serena kept talking while a confused Darien just looked on. When she finally slowed down to take a breath, Darien jumped right in. "Whoa...sweetheart, what are you talking about?" "Oops, I never did tell you, did I?", Serena said, noticing the confusion on Darien's face. "Well, I applied for this law internship and I was accepted!" "That's great!! I'm so proud of you! Why didn't you tell me?" Darien asked, giving her a big hug. "I didn't want to say anything just in case I didn't make it. You're not mad at me, are you?" Serena asked slowly. "Of course not Sunshine, why would I be?" "Oh...I'm so happy to hear you say that Darien, because I was really worried that you wouldn't want me to go..." Serena said. When she said this, Darien was a little confused. *Where is she going? What is she talking about? Trust her not to tell me EVERYTHING...* he mused looking down into her beaming face. When Darien asked her these questions, the smile that was on her face slowly disappeared to be replaced a somber look.
Taking her chin in his hand, he tilted up her face. Noticing the glazed look in her eyes, he started to get worried. "Serena, you know that you can tell me anything, right? Please tell me what's wrong." "I don't know if I should, because you might be upset with me..." Serena started before Darien gently interrupted. " But you won't know until you tell me. C'mon...it's hurting you to keep it inside so just spit it out". "Alright...Ihavetogotonewyork", Serena said quickly, hoping that he wouldn't make her say it again. Darien just laughed and said, "Can you please repeat that, but a little slower." "I have to go to New York." Serena said slowly, drawing out each word. As she said these words, Darien felt the smile on his face falter.
Looking into her eyes, he asked her how long would she be in New York, and the frown grew deeper on her face. "Well...the internship is for a whole semester. I wanted to get a summer slot, but they said that they had already filled those positions, but let's not worry about that. We'll make it work if that is what you were worried about. Now we can...." Serena started to say as Darien's attention began to waver.
*I should have seen this coming...this is what I get for opening my heart again...well this time, I'm going to be the one to leave. I just can't go through that pain again. Oh Serena please forgive me*, he thought, looking at the young woman he had grown to love with all his heart.
Pasting on another fake smile, Darien said, "That's great honey! I'm happy for you" as he pulled Serena to him in a hug. *This may be one of the few that I have left* he mused while stroking her hair. At this Serena returned the embrace, hoping that everything was alright between them, not knowing the private anguish he tried so desperately to conceal.
End Flashback
"And now you know why...the reason I broke up with you. I could see that you were torn into taking the position, one that you worked so hard for, so I would push you in the direction you wanted to go. I tried of thinking of other ways, but I know that you would have just found a reason to turn it down. I couldn't let you do that, because I would feel guilty knowing what you gave up to stay with me. You may feel that I overreacted to the situation, but I just couldn't risk being a burden to you. Seeing how much you have achieved in such a short time, I don't regret what I did either. Please Serena, I hope that you know how truly sorry I am and that I hope one day you can forgive me." Darien finished, as he turned around to gauge Serena's reaction.
Expecting tears, he was quite surprised when he saw the look of pure anger on her delicate features. He reached out to her, but stopped when she backed away from him. This reaction confused him even more. "Serena...Sere, are you alright?" he asked hesitantly, still looking at her.
"How...how could you do that to me? to us?" she said quietly in a voice devoid of any emotion. Growing angrier by the minute, she started to get louder. "How could you be so damn SELFISH?!?!?! I thought we were stronger than that Darien." Serena said, as she turned away from him, trying to hide her tears. Her control started to slip as she continued to vent her emotions. "Do you have any idea what you did to me when you said it was over? You shattered my heart and made it impossible for anyone else to repair it. Do you know the loneliness I've felt because I'm scared of letting anyone else get close? Do you know how many tears I've cried at night because of this? Do you know that the HELL I've went through has been for NOTHING?!?" she said in an accusing tone.
Looking at the trembling woman in front of him, Darien was stunned by her words. *What does she mean 'nothing'*, he thought, trying to digest all the accusations she threw his way. Seeing the tears and hearing the hurt in her voice, he was could only stand there helplessly. *What have I done? Could she be right? Was I selfish and only thought of myself? Can't she realize that I did what I had to do for her? Can't she see that it tore me up inside too?* Darien thought sadly, still looking at the distraught woman in front of him.
"So why are you telling me this now? Wait...let me answer that for you...because of your fucking GUILT!" she sneered at him. Ignoring the tragic look on his face she continued to let loose. "So...you thought that I would be just like your mother and abandon you, is that right? Well let me tell you something. I don't give a rat's ass about your feelings anymore, because I don't think that anyone can fix the damage you caused, because you abandoned ME!. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." Serena said as she turned her back on him for the umpteenth time that night. Darien realizing what she was doing, suddenly saw red. *ENOUGH! I've had it...If she won't listen to words, then I'll just have to use another way.*
Grabbing her arm, he swung her around and pulled her to him. Serena was about to protest, until Darien's lips head swooped down and claimed her lips in a forceful kiss. She was in shock for about five seconds when the anger started to race through her body. She put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away. She was even thinking about biting down on his lip...HARD, but the anger began to melt away as it was replaced by something that she felt long ago and could only now barely recognize it. Desire. She tried to fight it at first, but eventually the sensations that were ripping through her body were too strong for her to ignore. Giving into the feelings, her lips parted and her arms wrapped around his neck of their own volition. *Damn if this doesn't bring back memories*, she thought as she let her fingers inch up into his jet-black hair, delighting in the feel of the silky strands.
This seemed to elicit a favorable response from Darien, as he began to pull her closer, trying to close all gaps that separated the two. *Just like I remember...* Darien thought as he sought the inner recesses of her sweet mouth. Darien was surprised at his lack of self control, but quickly forgot about everything when her tongue touched his. Losing himself in the moment, he started that eternal dance that exist between lovers. Hearing the soft noises escaping her mouth, he pulled her even closer.
Serena couldn't believe that this was happening to her....kissing the man that she swore would never touch her, caress her, make her feel again. However, she was losing the battle as she felt the heat begin to rise between them. By this time, Darien had pushed her up against the rail and slid his leg in between her thighs. Loving the sensation of her body molded to his, Serena threw her head back, allowing the night breeze to pluck at her hair. Seeing her neck exposed, Darien took instant advantage, placing kisses up and down her throat.
Eventually giving into the need to breathe, they pulled apart, gasping for air. Simultaneously they both looked into each other's eyes, and as if by unspoken agreement, their heads began to move closer to each other, bring lips closer. At the last moment, they were startled by someone calling Darien's name. Groaning, he lifted his head and snapped out, "What ever it is...it had better be good" The man, who was now blushing, held out a a piece of paper to Darien. "I'm sorry sir, but this wire just came in from the mainland. They said it was urgent. Good night", the man said swiftly as he walked away.
Putting a little distance between Serena and himself, Darien opened the note. Serena became concerned when she saw the color leach from Darien's face. "Darien...what's wrong?" she asked. Lifting his gaze to hers, all she saw was utter sadness. Slowly he handed the note to her, so that she may read it. What she read made her heart stop within her chest.
~Ben Matthews is dead [stop] Come home at once [end]~
to be continued.........
Did u see that one coming minna?!?!? I hope that this was worth the wait! So, now what is going to happen with Matthews? Will Sharpe get their hands on it? Will Darien be able to keep them at bay? Now that Serena knows the reason behind the break-up, what will she do? Stay tuned and find out!