But It Will Make You Miserable First
See Chapter One for Disclaimers, Warnings, Summary, etc.
Chapter Twenty-Five
As Amanda moved towards Lee, Phaff's word's echoed in his mind. "Trust in your love."
He took a deep breath and let Amanda lead him. She pressed him back on the yielding bed, covering his long hard body with her softness. Lee concentrated on his deep breathing. He couldn't take the chance of frightening her. She nibbled on his neck, her mouth taking gentle nips every other moment. When she got to his mouth, Amanda teased his lower lip with her teeth. He softly parted his lips, allowing her to enter if she wished.
Her tongue traced the shape of his mouth, exploring as if she had forgotten him. Slowly it entered the open space before it. She caressed his mouth, tracing the shape she knew so well but had been absent from for so long. He tasted so good to her, he always had.
Amanda closed her eyes, concentrating on enjoying the feel of her husband. "Lee, " she sighed, "Touch me."
His hands came up to caress her face, stroking the planes of her cheeks. They continued up to tangle in her hair, inhaling the scent that was his beloved wife.
"Oh, Amanda, I've missed you so much," he moaned. "I love you, sweetheart. I need you. Ah, Amanda." Lee gave a deep sigh as Amanda's hands traveled over his body, caressing him in all the spots that drove him nuts.
Amanda could feel Lee growing under her caresses. She fought to focus, tell herself that this was Lee, the man she loved. She felt his breathing become labored at her touch and smiled to herself. She moved on top on him, straddling his hips. Reaching up, Amanda untangled his hands from her hair, guiding them to caress her body.
He softly touched her breasts, almost afraid too. But she simply sighed and wiggled happily on him. Lee's touch became more commanding, gently kneading and engulfing her. Soon one hand stole under her shirt and touched her bare skin. He skimmed over her ribs, mindful of the ticklish places. One finger traced the lower edge of her bra, gently nudging it aside. He felt her stiffen at the touch and cursed himself for causing her pain.
"Amanda," he started to speak but she placed a finger on his lips.
"Shush, it's okay. Oh, Lee, I need to feel your touch. Please, hold me, feel me. Let me know that this is real and the other is a fading nightmare. Lee, I need you so much."
Lee's heart was aching at her words. She was so brave. He wanted to enfold her in a cocoon and protect her forever. Lee knew though that Amanda would never stand for that kind of treatment. She was always right out there, in the thick of things. Nope, Amanda was never content to wait in the car. Not when they had started working together and certainly not now.
He concentrated on conveying with his touch just how much he cherished her. Carefully he unfastened her bra, freeing the perfect globes for his ministrations. Lifting slightly, he applied his mouth and tongue to caressing.
Amanda sighed as Lee's lips touched her breast. Reveling in his touch, she could feel the desire rising in her body. A desire she had been afraid she would never feel again after that monster had attacked her. The monster had tried to destroy her trust but Amanda knew that with Lee she had every reason to trust and believe in him.
Desire rose in her as she lifted off of Lee, causing him to lose contact with her. A growl of disappointment rose in his throat and she smiled. Standing beside him and he lay on the bed, Amanda grinned. "Uh, Lee, we seem to have technical problem here."
"What?" came the husky reply as he looked up at her, his eyes full of desire.
"We're still dressed. And I like it much better when we're not."
Lee smoothly rose to his feet and took her in his arms. "Oh, really? Well," he nibbled that spot behind her ear. "I think I can handle that. Come over here, beautiful."
He unbuttoned her shirt and peeled it off of her arms. The bra hung loosely where he had opened it earlier; he slid the straps off her arms and felt her shiver with desire. His hands went to her jeans, undoing the zipper slowly, one hand holding her waist at all times as he spoke softly to her, keeping her grounded in the present with him.
When Lee's hand touched her jeans, Amanda felt her body tensing up, fear coursing though her as her mind fought to stay focused on where she was at this time. Lee was holding her waist, whispering endearments that she couldn't make out. That was fine, just to hear his voice reassured her, helping her stay grounded. He slid her jeans and panties down her legs and she stepped out, bare before him.
He stood for a moment, looking at the woman before him. She was here, warm and loving. He thanked God every day for the miracle that was Amanda Stetson. He hesitated, unsure how far she wanted to go tonight. Even this much was a big step forward in her healing, he knew.
Sensing his thoughts, Amanda smiled. "You're still over dressed, Stetson. Are you going to stand there all night?" Lee still hesitated. "Lee, I know you are afraid you'll cause me to have a flashback. Frankly," she gulped. "I'm scared of that as well. But I love you and I refuse to let this ruin our lives, ANY part of our lives. I want to make love with you. I need to heal with you."
Amanda fell silent as she looked at Lee, still standing back from her. Suddenly she felt self-conscious. Everything had been about her in this conversation. 'What if he doesn't want me?' she thought, panic-stricken. 'What if he looks at me and sees…' Amanda couldn't bear to finish that thought. 'I'll die,' she thought. 'I'll just die if he can't bear to touch me.' Tears came unbidden to her eyes at the thoughts.
Lee saw the tears swelling in her eyes and again cursed himself. He'd done it again. In trying not to rush her into anything, he had caused her to doubt herself. This being a real person stuff was harder that he thought. His hands went out and took her by the shoulders, pulling her close to him. He wrapped himself around her.
"Amanda, you are so.." Words failed him at the moment. He looked deep into her warm brown eyes. "You are my world. I'll love you until the last breath leaves my body. I'll want you when we're using walkers out at Birchwood. I'll be chasing you around the apartment, shuffling along in my slippers. You are my everything. Let me love you."
Staring into Lee's eyes as he made this declaration, Amanda relaxed. She smiled at the image of him chasing her down using a walker. What a scandal they would make at Birchwood with that behavior.
She wiggled, bringing her into contact with Lee's hips. "You're still over dressed, Stetson."
He lifted her in his arms and laid her on the bed. She watched as he divested himself of his clothes and hastened to join her. He worshipped her with his body. It took some time and false starts. Amanda fought against the memories that rose to the surface as he touched her in some ways. Her heart and mind knew that this was Lee, the love of her life. Her body sometimes needed to be reminded. Lee was slow and tender, stopping when he felt her tense, following her lead before moving on to the next level.
At last she could feel herself rising up, climbing to a peak. As she scaled to the top and fell into space, Amanda gave voice to the passion that had been imprisoned in her the last few weeks. Lee was surprised to hear her being so vocal. Usually at home, with the boys in their rooms, she tried to be quiet. He smiled to himself, knowing that he had pleased her tonight.
Amanda felt herself gain release from Lee's actions. She needed this, she needed to feel again. Drifting back to earth, Amanda realized that Lee still had not sought his own release. He had been very careful with her, even using a condom although he had not entered her.
"Lee, oh, Lee. I love you. Let me?" she asked, reaching out to caress him with her hands. She felt him shudder and knew how close he was to the edge. Only those years of Agency discipline held him back.
"Amanda, don't. I'm okay. Just don't touch me." He said in a strangled voice as she ignored his words and stroked. "Amanda, stop." He tried to pry her hand away from him with no success.
She pushed him back down into the bed, looking him in the eye. "I'll never stop wanting you, Lee. You should know that by now." She bent over him but Lee pulled her back up.
"Amanda, don't. I know you want to but you don't have to do this." Lee was afraid for her to do this, afraid it would bring back that night and what she had been forced to do.
"Lee, I'm not going to let that bastard's actions rule my life. I love you, I want, no, I need to do this. It's a way of taking back what he stole from me. Let me?" she asked again. At his nod, moved down his body and made love to him with her mouth and tongue. It didn't take long before Lee lost control and fulfilled her wish.
Afterward, they lay entwined in the bed, exhausted. Lee looked at the clock, it was after 2 AM. Softly he kissed Amanda's hair. "My love, we've got to get some sleep. What will the boss think if I come in late tomorrow?" He joked at his past excused for late nights.
"He'll think that your wife made you a happy man," Amanda murmured sleepily into his shoulder. "And when I can't walk tomorrow, they'll know that it was mutual."
Lee gave a weak chuckle at her words as sleep overcame them.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Phillip lay in his room, sleep eluding him again as it had for so many nights lately. He heard Lee and Amanda in their room, quiet words spoken that turned to sounds he had heard before from them.
"That's good," he thought. "I guess Mom is getting better if she wants Lee to touch her again. Ugh. I don't see how she would want anyone to touch her ever again."
He tossed and turned, trying to at least rest for a part of the night. His mind wouldn't let him. He reflected on all the things his father has said to him today. "Your Dad's right," chortled a little voice in his mind. "You are worthless, nothing, you ever do is right. No one will ever love you.
Phillip tossed and turned, trying to shut out the voice but it droned on and on. He couldn't stand it anymore. Phillip got out of bed and dressed. As he opened the door to his room, he heard a cry from the master bedroom. He couldn't tell if it was pain or pleasure. Instinctively, his feet went to the door and he eased it open. He heard his mother's soft voice telling Lee she wanted him and closed the door softly. At least he knew that she would be all right when he was gone.
He crept down the stairs and out the door. His feet lead him to Elayna's house. She wouldn't talk to him on the phone. He stood under her window, tossing pebbles to get her attention. When she opened the window, he motioned for her to come outside.
She slipped out the back door a few minutes later, dressed in sweats. "Phillip," she hissed. "What are you doing here? My dad will kill you if he sees you." She looked down at the ground, suddenly shy. "Phillip, I'm sorry about not talking to you earlier. He was standing right there. I had to act like that." She looked up at him with bright blue eyes swimming in tears. "Will you forgive me for all those mean things I said?"
Phillip's heart took a sudden leap at her words. Maybe she didn't hate him! "Uh, I, uh, just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, too," he blurted out. "I didn't mean to cause trouble for you. I just needed someplace safe to go and you came to mind."
"Oh, that's so sweet, Phillip. I'm honored, really I am but.." Phillip raised his hand to stop her next statement.
"I know, stupid to break in like that. I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, stupid. But where'd you learn to do that anyway?" She asked curiously.
"Uh, just from magic shows, you know. I must have a knack for it, huh?" Boy, that had been close. He couldn't betray Lee's secrets, not even to her.
"Cool, just like a spy in the movies."
Phillip smiled to himself, feeling the first flush of happiness he'd know in weeks. He quickly sobered, looking at her with a serious expression.
"Elayna, is there any chance your dad will let us still be friends?" he asked hopefully. "I wrote him this letter, saying I'm sorry." His hope faded as she shook her head.
"Nope, he told me that if I ever speak to you again, he'll have you arrested on breaking and entering and send me off to my Aunt and Uncle in Oregon. I'm so sorry, Phillip, I really like you but…" her voice trailed off, losing the words to express herself.
"Well," Phillip ran his hand through his hair. "That's okay. I just wanted to check. I'm sorry, too. I really like you as well." He thrust a package into her hands. "I want you to have these, to remember me by, okay?"
Leaning forward Phillip gave her an awkward kiss on the cheek and turning swiftly, walked away into the night. Elayna stood looking after him, hand pressed to her cheek as he walked out of her life. She took the package upstairs and tossed it on the bedside table to open later. Right now, she need some more sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Morning dawned at the Stetson household, finding them all wrapped in slumber and no one had set the alarm. Jamie woke first, stretching before turning to look at the clock. It was after 9. Nobody slept that late in this house, even if it was a Saturday. Which this was not. It was Thursday and he had to go to school even if Phillip didn't. He rose and knocked on the master bedroom door, calling out.
"Mom, are you awake? We overslept; I'm going to be late for school, again. Can you take me?"
Amanda sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Lee slumbered on beside her. She shook his arm and leaning over, kissed him. "Wake up, sleepy head. Somebody overslept," she teased.
"Hey, whose fault is that?" he asked opening one eye and enjoying the view of his naked wife in front of the closet, rooting for something to wear. "You started it last night, you know." He teased as she crossed the room towards him.
With a glint in her eye, Amanda leaned close to his ear and whispered, "And I finished you too, big fella. So get up and get moving!" She gave him a playful tousle of the hair before entering the bathroom.
Lee rose; heading to the kitchen to make sure Jamie and Phillip had breakfast. He knocked on Phillip's door on the way past. When there was no answer, Lee stuck his head in and called out "Rise and shine, breakfast in 10 minutes." Phillip grunted and burrowed deeper in the covers. Shrugging, Lee went down the stairs. When Amanda came down he handed her a cup of coffee with his "Good Morning" kiss and headed up to shower.
Knocking once more on Phillip's door, Lee could see that he had gotten out of bed and was slowly waking up. Lee whistled as he entered the master bedroom and got ready for the day.
Amanda ran Jamie to school, planning on returning to the house to shower before her doctor visit. Rushing because they had overslept, she told Phillip to stay inside and apply himself to his studies and working on extra chores while she was gone. She'd come by and pick him up afterwards for lunch and they'd go to the Agency together to talk to Dr. Phaff. Phillip nodded as she headed to the door.
"Mom? " She stopped at the curious tone in his voice. "You are doing better, right? I mean, well," his face turned red and he muttered. "Well, I kinda overheard you last night with Lee. You sounded happy, are you?"
Amanda's face flamed at his words. She was not comfortable discussing this part of her life with her sons. Seeing the pleading look on his face, Amanda swallowed the first words that came to mind and answered.
"Yes, Phillip. We were a little loud last night. I'm sorry about that. I am feeling much better about things. Lee has been a great help to me."
Phillip looked away and muttered, "Yeah, unlike me. He rescued you, he killed the guy that hurt you and all I ever do is cause more problems."
Amanda knew he had spoken but could not catch the words. Looking at her watch, she was torn. Phillip seemed to have something on his mind but if she delayed too long she'd be late for the appointment.
Phillip could see the indecision on her face and spoke. "It's okay, Mom. Go on, it's nothing you can help me with. "Under his breath, he went on, "There is no help for me." He crossed the room and gave her a big hug. "I love you Mom, never forget that. Be happy. Now, go on, you're going to be late."
Amanda went out the door, intent on talking to him when she got back.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Amanda had to wait at the doctor's office because of an emergency. The nurse took her blood and urine sample and she sat in the exam room in that cold drafty gown with nothing to do. She passed the time recalling the night before with Lee. Opps, maybe that was a bad idea. Suddenly the room was very hot.
"Think about something else!" she ordered herself. Her mind went to Joe's atypical behavior yesterday and last night. She had never seen him like this before. Sure, he had always wanted the boys to do well in school but this harping on grades was something new. Amanda could tell that it had upset Phillip deeply and she planned to have a private talk with Joe about his words and actions.
She'd call him later this afternoon, she decided. Dr. Fields finally arrived and got down to business. Amanda explained her fears and Dr. Fields agreed with Dr. McJohn, it was too early to tell. The tests came back negative at this point. There was good news, however. Amanda's attacker didn't appear to have been infected with any STD's according to the Medical Examiner. They were going to test for them anyway. Amanda was told to come back in two weeks if she still was worried about being pregnant.
At the checkout counter, Amanda felt a hand on her shoulder. It was one of the nurse practitioners in the office. She asked to speak with Amanda and they entered her office.
"Amanda, I know this is not my business but I have to ask. If you are pregnant, are you going to carry it to term? My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for ten years. If you decide…" she could not go on.
Amanda put her arms around the woman. "I'm so sorry. I don't know at this point what I'd do if. Well, I just don't know. But I'll keep you in mind."
Amanda left as the nurse struggled to pull herself together. Amanda 's thoughts turned to the thought of how happy the possible result of her attack could make some person. She felt so sorry for people who wanted a child but were unable to have one. She loved her boys dearly and would die if anything ever happened to one of them.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Amanda returned to the parking lot to find a paper stuck under her windshield wiper. Angrily, she pulled it out, expecting a junk flyer or a parking ticket. Instead it was a note from Lee.
"Dearest Amanda,
I came by but couldn't bear to come in with you. I wanted to tell you how much I love you once again. Couldn't concentrate on work this morning so I tried to put my feelings about every thing into words.
No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true
No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back
I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know I'll love forever
I know
No matter what
If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered
Then we would hear God say:
No matter what they tell you
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach you
What you believe is true
And I will keep you safe and strong
And sheltered from the storm
No matter where it's barren
A dream is being born
No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need
No matter if the sun don't shine
Or if the skies are blue
No matter what the ending
My life began with you
I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever
That's all that matter's now
No matter what
Lee
She smiled at the hand written words, knowing that they were Lee's way of assuring her that things would be all right for the two of them. She studied the words, committing them to memory. Then, tucking the letter in her purse, she started the Explorer and headed home.
Chapter Thirty
Phillip watched his mother pull out the drive and disappear down the street. He went to his room and picked up the letters and packages he had put together in the early hours of the morning. He left the house, walking to the bus stop nearby.
He took the bus to King Eddie's embassy. Well, it wasn't much of an embassy. Just an apartment, really, but it had the coat of arms on the wall and that was pretty cool. Knocking on the door, Phillip rehearsed his excuse for being there in the middle of the day.
There was no answer. Phillip looked around, checking for witnesses. Seeing no one, he quickly picked the lock and let himself in the empty room. He walked over to the safe and laid his package on the top, caressing the musical case one last time before turning and walking out the door. He didn't look back.
His next stop was the school, to see his friends between classes. He walked over to catch the next bus.
***************************************
Amanda returned home to find the house empty. Phillip was gone. She called her mother on the off chance that they were together. Dotty had not heard from him but promised to call if she did.
Amanda was undecided on her course of action. She needed to go into the office. Lee was out on a case with Francine but she had paperwork piling up on her desk. Still, she needed to find Phillip; he was supposed to see Dr. Phaff this afternoon.
Finally she decided to stay home and try to find Phillip, useless task as that might be. She began calling around to his friends but no one was home. Amanda sat on the sofa, getting angrier as each minute that passed.
***********************************
Phillip got off the bus near the school, looking around for any teachers. Seeing none in sight, he lounged against the tree until the bell rang for class change. Merging in with the throngs of students, Phillip followed his normal route to the hall where his friends hung out at this time of day.
"Phillip, hey, man, how are you doing?" called Sam. "Hey, I thought you were suspended, what are you doing here?"
Sam's question was echoed several times as other's in the group arrived.
"Oh, well, you know, hanging at home is BORING. So I thought I'd come rub in my free time in your faces," he joked. "Beside, I was cleaning up my room, mom made me do it," he confided. "And I thought I'd just get rid of some stuff I don't want anymore. Here this is for you."
He handed several people packages and letters. "But, hey, don't open it here, huh? Wait until you get home."
"Cool, Phillip, hey, it feels like Christmas. I wanna open it now!" declared Josh but Phillip shook his head.
"Naw, wait until you get home, you might not want others to see what's in there, you know what I mean," He said with a knowing wink while the guys laughed. The few females in the group looked leery about even holding the package but Phillip assured them that it contained nothing embarrassing.
"Well, hey, gotta jet. Don't want to get caught not skipping school," he declared heading off as the bell rang for class. A chorus of "byes, thanks and see you soon" followed him as he headed down the hall.
Chapter Thirty-One
Amanda was still steaming about Phillip's disappearance when the phone rang. Muttering under her breath, she answered it, ready to chew Phillip out if this was him. To her surprise, it was King Eddie.
"What?" she asked, not sure she had understood him.
"So who taught Phillip to pick locks, eh?" Eddie laughed. "I saw him leaving my embassy a bit ago and I know that I locked the door when I left."
"He was in your embassy?" she squeaked. "I am so sorry. I don't know what's gotten into him. I hope he didn't bother anything." She apologized, feeling embarrassed and furious with Phillip at the same time.
"No, it's cool," the king went on when she paused. "Actually he left me a package and a letter. I haven't opened them yet. I just thought you might like to know where he is. Isn't he supposed to be in school?"
"Well," Amanda hesitated. "He got into some trouble and is suspended at the moment. He's suppose to be grounded but he snuck out."
Saying good-bye after King Eddie reassured her that no harm was done. Amanda hung up the phone.
************************************
Rounding the corner on his was out, Phillip ran smack into Jamie who was racing across campus, trying not to be late to class.
"Oph, hey, watch where you're going," Phillip grunted before he realized it was his brother. Jamie stared at him for a moment in shock.
"Oh, you are going to be in so much trouble if they catch you on campus. What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to got see Dr. Phaff today with Mom? Is Mom here? I bet she's not, what did you do, run away again?" Jamie chattered on, uncaring that his brother was glaring at him.
Phillip grabbed him roughly by the arm and into an empty classroom, slamming the door behind them.
"Shut up, dork. You'd better not tell anyone you saw me or.." Phillip started to speak but stopped as he saw the door opening and Mr. Williams enter.
"Or what, Phillip? What will you do to your brother?"
Phillip sunk into himself. "Busted," he thought. "Now I'll never get away."
"Jamie, go on to class. Phillip, come with me." Mr. Williams took Phillip by the arm and led the way to his office. "Have a seat. I'll have to call your mother, you know that?"
Phillip nodded and Mr. Williams exited the room to get his information card. As he was returning to the office, a very excited Mrs. Greene rounded the corner, making a beeline for him.
"Mr. Williams, they said you have Phillip King in your office. Is he alright?" she asked.
"Yes, I was just about to call his mother to come get him. What is it?"
"Read this." Mrs. Greene thrust a letter in his hands. "One of my students gave this too me a few minutes ago. Phillip delivered them to his friends."
Williams scanned the letter, his face paling at the contents. He took a deep breath and turned to Mrs. Greene. "Thank you. You did the right thing. Thank God I ran into him. You go on in and talk to him, I'll make my call from here."
Chapter Thirty-Two
Amanda was entered Phillip's room. She noticed that he had done some major cleaning in the last day and she wanted to leave him a note thanking him. At the desk she saw several sheets of folded paper, laid neatly on the top. There was one addressed to each member of the family. She had just picked the one addressed to her when the phone rang. Taking the letter with her, Amanda crossed into her bedroom to answer it.
"Mrs. Stetson," said the voice.
She recognized it as being Mr. Williams from the high school.
"Yes, good afternoon, Mr. Williams. How are you today?" she asked, sitting in the chair by the bed. She fingered the letter, wondering what Phillip had to say that he had written to everyone in the family.
"Not good, Amanda. There's been a problem."
Amanda's heart sank and she sat up straighter. "What is it? Is it Jamie? Has something happened?"
"No, Amanda, Jamie is fine, he's in class. It's Phillip. He's here in my office. He came to the school and…well, there's no easy way to say this. He gave his friends goodbye notes."
Amanda didn't take in what he was saying. "Goodbye? Why? We're not moving."
"Amanda, he said he was going to kill himself. I think you'd better get over here."
Without a word, Amanda carefully replaced the phone on the hook. She made herself take a deep breath and opened the letter.
Dear Mom,
I love you. Always remember that. By the time you get this, I'll be dead. I know that this will be hard for you but I am not any good to anyone. I couldn't help you. I've failed Dad. Lee hates me. Even my girlfriend wants nothing to do with me. I can't do anything right. I just don't want to try anymore. I love you all and I'll see you on the other side.
Love,
Phillip
A cry of despair escaped Amanda as she read the words. How could this be happening? She grabbed the phone to call Lee. He wasn't back yet and so she left a message to call the school as soon as he returned. The next call was to Joe but he was in court and not expected in at all today. She told the receptionist that it was an emergency but could not bring herself to say what kind. The girl told her she'd pass the information on if Joe checked in.
Rising on weak limbs, Amanda made her way downstairs and got in the Explorer. She had to try three times before she could get it started. As she backed out of the drive, Amanda could feel hysteria creeping up on her. Fiercely she pushed it back, concentrating on the task of driving, not daring to think about why.
Chapter Thirty-Three
When she pulled into the parking lot Amanda expected to find it covered with emergency vehicles. Instead, all was normal. She got out of the Explorer and started towards the building when she couldn't fight the pain any longer. Tears began to flow from her eyes as sobs threatened too choke her. Stopping beside a van, Amanda allowed herself to give in to the pain for a few minutes.
Slowly she gathered her will and wiped her eyes. Her son needed her and she had to be strong. There would be time to break down later. For now, she had to hold on and help him.
Entering the school, Amanda was met by Mr. Williams and guided to a nearby office.
"Amanda, how are you holding up?" he asked, seeing the traces of tears. Amanda sniffed, struggling to keep her composure. "He's in my office, with Mrs. Greene. She's one of the school counselors."
"What.." Amanda's voice broke and she swallowed before going on. "What, how?" was all she could say.
Williams explained what he knew and then led her to his office.
Phillip was sitting slumped in the chair by the desk. Mrs. Greene shook her head at Williams unspoken question.
"Phillip, sweetheart," Amanda said softly, struggling to control her voice, not wanting to cause him any more pain. "What's going on?"
There was no answer from the boy in the chair. Amanda looked around at Williams and Greene, raising her eyebrows asking "what next?"
"Phillip? Phillip, talk to me," Amanda pleaded with her son, trying to break through his silence. He looked up at her, his eyes blank.
"Just leave me alone, Mom," he said, his voice cracking. "Just let me go." He slumped back into silent apathy.
"I will not!" Amanda declared, taking him by the shoulders and looking into his face. "You are my child and I will never let you go. I will never let you hurt yourself. I love you and I want to help you."
"There is no help for me. I'm a failure. I can't do anything right. Hell," he spat out, "I can't even manage to kill myself without you finding out. If I actually had gotten a chance, I'd have botched that as well, I suppose. Just go away and leave me alone in my misery."
The adults in the room shook their heads in despair. It was obvious to them all that Phillip needed more help than they could provide. Leaving Mr. Williams with Phillip, Amanda and Mrs. Greene walked to her office.
"Mrs. Stetson, let me make some phone calls and see where you can take him for help," she said. Amanda went in the other office to make calls of her own.
Joe still had not checked in with his office and Lee was not back yet either. Amanda called Dr. Phaff and he recommended the Charter at Falls Church facility. He had privileges there and could consult with the staff. Amanda thanked him and called Billy.
"Melrose."
"Sir, its Amanda." She stopped, unable to go on. Billy's radar went on high alert. Something was very wrong with Amanda.
"Yes, Amanda, what is it? What's wrong? "
"Oh, Billy, "she struggled to hold back the sobs. "Phillip, he.. he..I've .."Amanda couldn't force the words out of her throat. Dimly in the background she could hear Billy trying to talk to her but the room was fading to black around her. She dropped the phone and placed her head down, trying through sheer willpower to fight back from the faintness that was trying to overtake her. When the room came back into focus, she picked up the phone to hear Billy bellowing orders to the bullpen.
"I want him found, now, damnit. Send out someone and tell him to get his butt back here."
"Billy, " Amanda was finally able to speak. "Billy, Phillip was going to kill himself. " Ignoring the shocked gasp at the other end of the line, she went on. "He didn't, it's a long story, but I'm going to take him over to the Charter in Falls Church. Please," her voice broke again but she went on. "Have Lee meet me there as soon as he can."
Reacting to his questions, Amanda assured Billy that she was holding on and had things under control for the moment.
Checking in with Mrs. Greene, Amanda told her of the plan and went to get Phillip. Mrs. Greene cautioned her not to tell Phillip where they were going. Some people at this state would bolt when told they were being taken to a physiatric facility. Amanda reluctantly agreed and collected Phillip from Mr. Williams' office.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Phillip stayed silent as they entered the Explorer and left the school. He slumped in his seat, never noticing where they were headed. Even when they parked and entered the hospital lobby, he showed no interest. Amanda checked with the receptionist and was told to have a seat and wait.
After what seemed an eternity, they were shown to another suite where they waited some more. Finally a serious young woman came and conducted them to a smaller office.
"I'm sorry for the delay. We always have to check on insurance information, you know how that is?"
Amanda bit back a sharp report. She only knew that her child was hurting and these people were concerned about getting paid.
"Now, Phillip, why don't you tell me what's going on?" she asked. There was no response. "Phillip, I can't do anything until I know what's wrong."
Phillip looked at his mother out of the corner of his eye. She was looking at him, concern written all over her face. He shook his head, indicating that he had nothing to say.
The admissions clerk stood and took Amanda outside with her.
"He might be more comfortable if you're not in the room, Mrs. Stetson. Why don't you wait out here? Can I get you anything? There's a phone and coffee at the end of the hall. Now, let me go talk to Phillip and see what's going on."
Amanda went to use the phone, calling her mother and asking her to wait for Jamie after explaining what was going on with Phillip. Billy told her that Lee was on his way to meet her. Joe was back in the office and exploded when she told him what was going on. He headed out the door to meet her. Amanda sat, still in shock, to wait.
The clerk emerged several minutes later to talk to Amanda.
"Mrs. Stetson, your son is very troubled. I think we need to keep him for a few days. I'll take him down to the ward and you can go along and tend to the paperwork." Amanda nodded numbly, unable to answer. "You can see him in a bit to say goodbye and to see where he'll be staying."
The clerk left. Amanda waited but she didn't reappear with Phillip. "There must be a back exit I missed," Amanda thought. She stood to go take care of the admissions forms as Lee rounded the corner.
Chapter Thirty-Five
"Amanda, I'm sorry it took me so long. Are you okay? What's going on? What's happened to Phillip? Why is he here, of all places?" Words poured out of Lee and Amanda gave a very small smile. He was starting to ramble like her when he was worried about his family. She could only shake her head at him. "I'll tell you when Joe gets here," she whispered. "I don't think I can say it twice."
Lee understood and took her hand as they went to the admissions office and waited for the papers to be processed. With a shaking hand, Amanda signed consent for Phillip to be treated. They were directed to the family room at the end of the hall, just in front of a double set of double locked doors leading to the teenager ward.
On the long walk down the hallway, Joe finally appeared, clearly angry. Lee shook his head at Joe, indicating that he should wait until they had some privacy. He followed Lee and Amanda into a room labeled "Family Visiting". It contained several chairs, a soda machine and a washer/dryer combination.
"Alright, Amanda, what's going on?" Joe demanded angrily. "Why did you bring my son to a place like this without consulting me?"
Lee bristled at Joe's words but held his tongue. Amanda glared at him and then related to both men the events of the day concerning Phillip and his actions.
Joe scoffed at her fears. "He was just trying to get your attention, Amanda. And it worked for him, didn't it? He would never have actually done anything."
Amanda stared at Joe in shock. 'Who was this man?' she wondered, seeing a total stranger sitting in front of her. "Would you like to bet your son's life on that belief?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, I would." Joe replied. "I know my son, he'd never have done anything. He was just trying to get attention. How dare you check him in here without consulting me? I hope you don't think I'm going to pay for this."
Amanda was saved from replying when Phillip was ushered into the room. A male nurse waited outside the room. Amanda's heart broke to see her son, his shoes minus the laces and his jeans sliding down to his hips. He entered the room hesitantly, torn between defiance and shame at his actions. Joe didn't help when he barked at him.
"Well, young man, I hope you are happy now." Joe crossed his arms and stared at his son. "Are you ready to apologize now? "
"For what, Joe?" Amanda burst out, confused.
"For putting that kind of burden on his friends, that's what." Rounding on Phillip, he went on. "How dare you make such absurd threats and cause your friend such pain. How selfish can you be? "
Phillip seemed to shrink in on himself and Lee had taken enough of Joe's attitude.
"Just shut up, Joe. You're way off base here." Lee said forcefully. Joe turned to face him, mouth opening to speak.
"You stay out of it, Stetson. It's not your concern."
Amanda finally spoke. "Stop it, both of you, just stop it," she said in a voice full of pain. "Neither of you are helping." Turning to Phillip, she reached out to embrace him. He stood stiff in her arms. "Phillip, we love you. I want you to get better, okay?"
Phillip simply stood, not speaking. An uneasy silence fell until the nurse announced it was time to get Phillip settled.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Amanda, Lee and Joe trailed along, entering the double doors, and walked a short distance to a bare mattress laid in the hall. Phillip threw himself down on it and grinned up at them. "Well, here's my new home. How do you like it? "
Amanda turned to the nurse "Are all the rooms full? Why is he in the hallway on a bare mattress?"
"Standard procedure for the first night. They have to be in sight of the nursing station at all times. Suicide watch. Nothing that he could use to hurt himself is allowed. Tomorrow, we'll settle him in a room. Now, if you'll see the charge nurse, she'll give you his personal belongings to take with you. Say goodnight, Phillip."
Phillip hugged his mother, whispering in her ear. "Thank you, Mom. I'm sorry."
Amanda felt her heart shatter and she sagged with pain. Lee supported her by the arm and led her out. Joe merely turned on his heel and left. After collecting his things, Lee and Amanda were let out the doors. Amanda made it to the parking lot before she fell apart. Joe had already torn out of the lot and Lee caught Amanda as she started to double over with pain. He carried her to the Corvette and held her as sobs racked her body.
"Oh, Lee, my baby, my baby. How could this be happening? Why didn't I see it, how could I not know how much he was hurting? Ohh, my baby boy."
"I know, baby, I know. We'll get through this, together, I promise you." Lee was devastated at the turn of events. Amanda had dealt with enough pain in the past weeks. How could she face Phillip's depression? Lee knew that there was more going on than Phillip had let on. He cursed himself for not pushing the issue. And then he cursed Joe King for his reaction.
'What a sorry excuse for a father,' he thought. 'How could any father blame his child for being in pain and reaching out for help? And to say that he wouldn't have done anything.' Lee could only shake his head at Joe's stupidity. Even if Phillip didn't attempt it, the very fact that he went so far as to give away his favorite things and write goodbye note indicated a serious problem.
Amanda's sob had quieted while Lee was pondering what he'd like to do to Joe. She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. "Oh, Lee, what am I going to do?"
"We are going to get him the help he needs, Amanda. Never doubt that. He'll be okay, it will just take some time." Lee put all the belief he could muster in his voice, trying to convince himself as well as Amanda. "Come on, let's go home. Get in."
Amada tried to argue that the Explorer was there and she needed to take it home. Lee would have none of that discussion. He was afraid to let Amanda drive in her state. The Explorer would wait until tomorrow.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lee was afraid to put Amanda through any more stress. Heaven knew that she had been through enough the last few weeks. He wanted to take it all away but it just wasn't possible. So he was silent on the drive home, allowing Amanda to decide if she wanted to talk. He noticed she pulled something out of her purse and clutched it to her chest. She held it as if it was a lifeline and she was lost in the churning sea.
They pulled into the driveway. Dotty came running out the door before Lee could help Amanda out of the car.
"Amanda, Lee, where's Phillip? Is he all right? Amanda?" As Dotty came closer, she could tell by the shell-shocked look on Amanda's face that she was not going to be able to answer her. She turned to Lee, concern written all over her face. Lee merely shook his head and Dotty went to Amanda's other side, tucking their arms together. Patting her daughter's hand, Dotty walked them into the kitchen.
Jamie was at the stove, waiting for the kettle to boil. He didn't turn around as the adults entered the room. Silence reigned until the shrill whistle sounded, startling Amanda.
"Oh, Jamie, thank you. I sure could use a cup of tea right now. Do you need any help, sweetheart?" She said, startling everyone in the room.
"Uh, no, Mom, I've got it. Anybody else want some?" he asked. Fixing the cups and taking them to the table occupied Jamie for the minutes but the time came when he could no longer avoid looking at his mother. Amanda's lips were moving but no words were coming out. She was repeating the same thing over and over. He tried to hand her the cup as she raised her eyes to his. It was as if they were the only two people in the room. Amanda took his hand in hers, never letting go of the letter she was clutching. Jamie set the cup down and sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around his mother, burying his head in her shoulder.
"Mom," his voice was choked as he tried to speak. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Mom, did I get Phillip in trouble?"
Lee and Dotty exchanged looks, Lee realizing that Dotty had not broken the news to Jamie about his brother's condition. Amanda struggled to speak without losing control. Lee crossed to Jamie and put his hand on the boys shoulder. Jamie looked up at the touch.
"Jamie, no, you didn't do anything to get Phillip in trouble. He…" Lee paused, searching for the words. "Chief, your brother isn't dealing well with what happened to your mom. He needs more help than we can give him. So, your mom took him somewhere to get that help."
"Took him somewhere? Where, Lee? When's he coming home? Lee?" The tears were threatening to spill out of Jamie's eyes as he gazed up at his stepfather.
"Oh, Jamie," Amanda found her voice. "I took him over to Charter in Falls Church. Do you know what they do there, sweetheart?" Jamie shook his head and she went on. "Well, they have doctors and people that Phillip can talk to about.." her voice broke but she went on. "About what's making him think he doesn't want to live."
"What? He what? He.. Are…" Jamie sputtered, trying to express his thoughts. "Is that why he was at school today? I saw some of his friends after class was out and they looked at me funny. I thought it was just because he got into more trouble. Mom," he turned to Amanda, his eyes pleading for her to make this go away. "He didn't try..try to hurt himself, did he?"
Amanda closed her arms around him and Lee, kneeling on the floor, took them both in his arms. "No, honey, he didn't do anything, but he was thinking about it. That's why we needed to get him help," she said. Pushing him back from her embrace, Amanda studied Jamie carefully. "Jamie, are you okay? Are you dealing with all this all right? Please, tell me if you need help. Please, I couldn't stand it if you …" She fell silent, staring into his eyes.
"Mom," he said, suddenly sounding very grown up. "I'm okay. Phillip took it a lot worse than I did. He felt responsible 'cause he thought he was the reason you were out late and then he left you to come home alone. But even I know that it wasn't his fault. And then Elayna broke up with him because of that fight at school and, well, I guess he just hit bottom." Jamie shook his head at Phillip's actions. "I don't feel that way and I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault but he didn't listen. Guess I should have come to you, huh? But, honest, I didn't think he'd do anything so stupid."
"It's okay, sweetheart, it's okay," Amanda said brushing Jamie's hair back from his eyes. "We should have notice, we're the parents."
"Hey," Lee interrupted. "We tried to help him, we took him to Dr. Phaff and all. But Phillip needed more and no one realized until it was almost too late. But the good thing is, he's getting the help he needs, okay? We'll all be here for him when he comes home."
Chapter Thirty-Eight
"When he comes home, when he comes home." Those words became Amanda's mantra for the next few days as she dealt with the meetings Phillip's stay entailed. First thing in the morning, Lee drove her over to Falls Church. It was too early for visiting hours. Amanda gave the ward nurse changes of clothes, which were searched right in front of her. Amanda seethed but knew that this was standard policy. Then, after what seemed like a pot of coffee later, Amanda was back to meet with the family counselor/ social worker. She gave the woman the family background and answered questions until it felt like a debriefing after a KBG capture.
Lee and Joe were called in for a session as well. Then, late afternoon found Amanda and Joe meeting with her together. Amanda was still so angry with Joe that she refused to speak to him. Lee had been asked to wait in the reception area. He insisted that he had a right to be there but was told to either wait or be escorted from the premises. He waited. Not patiently, not calmly but he waited.
"So, Mrs. Stetson, Mr. King, how are you feeling about this?" The social worker was a young woman, earnestly trying to help. Amanda remained silent, as did Joe. The social worker sighed. "Mr. King? Tell me how you feel."
Joe leaned forward, his face intense. "I'm plenty ticked off. That's what I feel."
"Why?"
"He's just trying to get attention. His mother neglects him and he is acting out like a baby. That's not how I want my son to be. He needs to learn to be strong, not to have to depend on other people to comfort him. She spoils him and this is what you get."
Amanda's lips were moving silently. Mouthing the words that were to become her lifeline through this ordeal.
No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true
No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back
The words to Lee's poem were the only comfort she could draw on in the face of Joe's attack. She knew Joe's attack wasn't true and she held onto that fact with all her might.
"Mrs. Stetson, how are you feeling?"
"I want my son to get better. I, we, Lee and I, that is. We did all the right things after my attack but nothing seemed to get through to Phillip. He kept blaming himself. I never saw this coming. I mean, I know that he's changed but don't all teenagers? I thought he was working on it. Instead, he was just drowning in pain and I didn't see." She covered her face with her hands and tried to stop the sobs threatening to spill out of her.
"Nonsense, Amanda. Everyone kept feeding him that psychobabble stuff until he thought he should feel guilty. If you had left him alone, he'd be fine by now." Joe went on, his anger still evident in his posture. "And, if your husband wasn't traveling off to God knows where all the time, you wouldn't have been alone in the first place. It's all Lee's fault, you know. He's never there when you need him."
Amanda had enough. She turned on Joe, her eyes blazing with anger. "Lee," she said, "has been there for me and the boys more that you ever were when they were little. He watched them grow up; he kept watch over us before we even got married. You are the one who left, the one who couldn't be bothered to help raise the children we created. Oh, but you liked to create them, didn't you? I couldn't even finish grad school. I had to work and put you through school."
"And then, did Amanda get to do anything? Nooo. Then I got pregnant and it was 'Stay home take care of the baby, there's plenty of time later.' Then later, Jamie came along and it was still, 'Oh, no, stay home with the babies.' It was like you told me that I was not good enough to pursue my dreams. You could go gallivanting off on the other side of the world but all Amanda was good for was a brood hen. "
Amanda stopped, aware that she was standing in Joe's face, screaming at him. Taking a deep cleansing breath, she went on, more calmly.
"Well, I have a life now and I have raised my boys as best I can without you. Lee has been more of a father to them than you ever were. So just get out of my face with your accusations about being an unfit mother. At least I care enough to want to get Phillip help. You're too busy nursing a bruised ego."
Turning, Amanda crossed the room and took her chair, feeling drained but calmer. She felt better now than since she had recalled the attack on that awful day in Dr. Phaff's office when her memory came clear.
"Well." Said the social worker, moving her hand away from the panic button on the underside of the desk. "I guess that clears up where we all stand. Uh, Mr. King, since your wife has custody of the boy, we'll consult with her on his treatment. You can go now. Oh," she added as Joe stood to leave. "You might want to consider talking to this fellow. He might be able to help you." She handed him a business card. Joe shoved it in his pocket without looking at it. Scowling, he stalked out of the room.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Amanda was told that visiting hours were in the evening and that she could return then with family members. Afterwards there would be a group session for all the current residents and their families that they were encouraged to stay for. It would help them get an idea of why everyone was there and how things were progressing. She also needed to bring Phillip's schoolwork. They had a teacher on staff and the kids were required to keep up with school.
Lee met her in the lobby and they agreed to meet for a late lunch at Uno's. It was a pizza place Lee had spotted on his rambles today while he was forced to wait.
They had a booth near the back and the service was pleasant and efficient. Amanda had the Buffalo Chicken Quesadilla and Lee tried the personal pizza. Both agreed that this was a place they like to return to more often and vowed to look for one closer to home.
While they were waiting for their food, Lee asked about the session with the social worker. Amanda almost lost her temper again as she relayed Joe's comments and attitudes. Lee was glad he had not been in the room. He'd have taken Joe apart for his insults. He could see a time coming when things were going to have to be set straight with Joe. Joe had no right to speak to Amanda that way. Lee was ready to go right then. Only the fact that Amanda needed him right now kept him on an even keel.
Amanda had missed breakfast and ate most of her meal without speaking. Lee had ordered them both a beer after they were finished without consulting Amanda. When it came, Amanda spoke for the first time.
"Lee, I don't know if I should drink this. What if.." her words trailed off as they both considered the other problem facing them. Lee reached out and took her hands in his.
"Amanda, we never had the chance to talk about your appointment. How did it go with Dr. Fields? Could she tell anything?" he asked tenderly, knowing that this was a delicate topic.
Amanda smiled sweetly at him. "Lee, you could have come in with me. But thank you for your note. I think that's the only thing that kept me sane the rest of yesterday."
Lee smiled at her in reply and shrugged his shoulders. "What about the tests?" he asked.
"No, she couldn't tell for sure. Her tests came back negative as well. But there is good news. At least I don't have any STD's from the episode."
Lee had to think for a moment before what she had said made sense. He sat back in his chair, a bit stunned, and took a deep drink of his beer. That aspect hadn't occurred to him before. His confusion must have reflected on his face as Amanda reached over and stroked his cheek.
"Lee, are you okay? You didn't think about that, did you?"
He could only shake his head, amazed that he had been so dense.
"It's okay, I didn't really either until yesterday. Or I'd have never, well, you know." Amanda was shy talking about their private live in public. Pushing aside the beer, Amanda picked up her water and took a long drink. "I'd have never take the chance if I'd have been thinking clearly, you know that. But, I'm not sorry we did. I love you, Lee Stetson."
Lee half stood and leaned over the table to kiss his wife. "And I love you, Amanda Stetson. Let's get out of here, okay?"
Finishing his beer, Lee threw down a bill to cover the check and escorted Amanda out, his hand on the small of her back where it belonged.
Once in the 'Vette, Lee drove them to the park nearby. They began to explore and soon came to a secluded bench. Amanda sat and Lee straddled the bench, facing her as she tucked on leg under her and half turned to him.
"Amanda, do you want to talk about it? Not Phillip but.." his voice trailed off as he waited for her answer.
"Yeah, I do. Lee, if I am pregnant. It would cause so many problems in our lives. I mean, with Phillip and how it happened and it wouldn't be fair to you. We haven't even decided when to have children of our own. I just think that," she paused, unsure how to express herself. "I think that if it is true, then I would have to have an abortion. I don't think I could deal with having a baby and giving it away, even though that would make somebody very happy but I couldn't live with myself if I gave my child away."
She looked deep into Lee's eyes, seeing a glint of moisture lurking there.
"Amanda, I would never ask you to do that. I'll be here for you, whichever way this goes. But to have an abortion? Could you do that, really, could you live with yourself? I know how much you love children. I would love this baby. How could I not? It's a part of you." He kissed her tenderly and held her as they pondered the future.
Some time passed before they stirred, both feeling calmer. Amanda looked at Lee.
"I don't know, I just don't know. I hope that we never have to face that choice. It could be all the stress. I suppose we'll just have to wait a while longer and see. Let's go home and have a rest before going back to the hospital. I need to collect Phillip's class work anyway."
Chapter Thirty-nine
The rest of the day passed in a blur for the Stetson's. They were so emotionally drained that when Jamie returned home from school he found them soundly asleep, Amanda's head nestled in the crook of Lee's arm as he sat and she lay stretched out on the couch.
Moving quietly, Jamie tended to his homework and rummaged in the freezer for a package meal to pop in the oven. Amanda often made up dinners and froze them so when she and Lee were running late, the boys could find something nutritious to eat.
When it was almost done, he gently shook Lee by the shoulder.
"Lee, wake up. Lee, Mom, dinner's ready. Come and get it."
Lee and Amanda stirred, a bit stiff from sleeping in cramped positions.
"Jamie, when did you get home?" Amanda asked surprised.
"A while ago, Mom. You were sleeping and I figured you needed to rest. I fixed us something to eat."
They moved to the table and filled each other in on the events of the day. Jamie reported that several of Phillip's friends had sought him out and expressed concern. They had all returned the things Phillip had given to them the day before and passed on notes and cards for a speedy recovery. One was made on poster board and signed by all the kids in the band class.
When dinner was over, Lee and Amanda left to visit Phillip. Taking with them the things from school, they made the drive in silence. After a search of the items in their hands, they were let in the gathering room where Phillip greeted them with a cheerful hug. He seemed jittery but much happier.
Phillip related that he'd spent the day getting to know the other residents and being seen by various doctors. One had given him the medicine that was making him so jittery, on a trail basis. Dr. Phaff had been in to see him and wanted to talk to them in the morning. Phillip talked nonstop, filling them in on life in the loony ward, as he called it. Several others were in for attempted suicide. Usually they had been using drugs in connection with the attempt.
Amanda was relieved to see him feeling so much better but concerned that his problems might be overshadowed since he was the only one with depression unrelated to drugs and abuse in the ward. When the group discussion began, her concerns heightened. The other stories were of drug use, running away from home for weeks at a time. Phillip was the only one here with his background problem. Amanda knew that she needed to talk to the social worker before they left and voice her concerns.
While Lee was talking to Phillip after the group meeting, Amanda cornered the man and asked some questions. After getting reassurances that Phillip would get one on one work specifically addressing his issues, Amanda rejoined Lee and Phillip, preparing to say goodnight. Phillip took them to his room. It was sparsely furnished with a bed, built in bookcase/desk, open closet. The attached bathroom had no mirror.
"That's so no one will break it and try to hurt themselves," Phillip announced. He was still very up from the medication. "I moved in here this morning. Lot's better than last night, huh?"
Amanda could only nod. She turned her back so Phillip wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. Phillip gave her a questioning glance and looked at Lee, unsure what to do. Lee gestured him to go to her.
Phillip crossed the room and put his arms around his mother. "I'm sorry, Mom. I never meant to hurt you. I just snapped, I didn't know what to do anymore."
Amanda hugged her son and whispered comforting words in his ear. They said good night. Lee and Amanda left and were escorted out the locked doors. The charge nurse let them know about a family session the next morning with Phillip, them and his doctor.
To Be Continued