I bring you suffering
Darkness. Nothing but darkness. Everywhere he looked there was darkness. Was this what death was like? No, he wasn't dead. He was alive. He had survived again. He had once again been denied of the one thing he wanted. Peace.
Peace from the anguish, peace from the guilt, peace from his own aching heart. The peace had not come. He was still alive and could feel his lungs filling with air that very moment. He was wakening.
Fuuko held Tokiya's nose tightly between her index finger and thumb as she blew into his mouth. She looked at his light blue face wondering if she had taken to long. Then pushed the thought to the back of mind, concentrating on the limp body in front of her. She pushed down on his chest, forcing his lungs to work.
She stopped when she heard a faint cough. She moved back and watch as he opened his eyes, coughing up water. She helped him sit up, the smile on her face broadening as she saw that he was going to be okay.
He looked at her with those cold blue eyes of his. Never saying a word, still recovering from his never death experience. This made Fuuko angry, she tried to containing herself knowing that it would be best to wait until he had fully recovered, but she couldn't.
"What the Fuck is wrong with you?" Fuuko screamed.
She was wet, breathless, and angry and he knew it. Looking into her fiery blue eyes, he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he would... He shook his head and pushed the thought out of his mind. Anyway, she was too angry to even talk to at the moment. She had every right to be angry but yet he was angry too. He was angry at her for saving his life. She had no right to; she should have minded her own business. She should of let him die.
"Answer me, asshole!" Fuuko demanded. Tokiya snorted.
"Leave me alone." He replied trying to stand up but finding himself to weak to move.
"Leave you alone!" She yelled as she threw her arms up in exasperation. "Bastard, you tired to kill yourself. How can I leave alone?"
"It's none of your business." Tokiya said coldly, "It has nothing to do with you. Anyway since when have you cared about me."
The minute he said that he knew he had made a mistake. Fuuko was thoroughly pissed off now. He was pretty sure of the fact that physical abuse was coming and ready himself for the up coming blow to the face, but nothing happened.
He tuned his face back to Fuuko and looked into her eyes. The anger had subsided and was now replaced with hurt. He could see that he had hurt her. He cursed himself mentally, yet not letting her see that he was upset.
"Is that what you think, Mi-chan?" Fuuko asked, she almost sounded like a wounded animal. Tokiya looked away. He couldn't stand looking into those wounded eyes. He felt as if he had kicked a puppy. "Well if that's what you think, you're wrong. You're wrong! Do you hear me? WRONG!" She grasped his chin with her thumb and index finger and turned his face back to hers. "I've always cared about you."
"Ch'. Why should I believe you?" He asked eyeing her suspiciously, "You're just saying that because I tried to kill myself. You pity me and I don't want it."
"That's not true!" she yelled at him letting go of his face. He turned away from her again.
"Don't lie to me, Kirisawa." Tokiya said beginning to stand up. "And don't pity me. I need, nor want neither." Fuuko raised her head and looked at Tokiya. Her eyes wet with tears. Her hands squeezing her shirt tightly. She stood up and walked around him so she could face him.
"I'm not lying." She choked out. "I don't know what made you think that no one cares for you, but I want you to get one thing straight Mikigami Tokiya. I care about you so does Kaoru or haven't you noticed it yet? The way he follows you around. And I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Mi-chan." She wrapped her arms around his waist burying her face in his chest. "I don't know why? But I want to know why and I'll do anything. I'll do anything to help you get over this—this death wish. I'll do anything. Just—just let me in, please Mi-chan. Please don't try and kill yourself anymore. Let me help you."
With those words she finally broke down and cried, burying her face deeper into his chest. She just kept repeating the same words over and over. "Just let me help, Mi-chan. Just let me help." Her arms squeezing tighter around his waist.
Tokiya looked down at the girl holding him. His heart ached. He tried to put his arms around her, but found that he couldn't. He sighed, feeling the ache in his chest grow by each passing moment. He closed his eyes tightly. Ignoring the stinging in his eyes, he pushed Fuuko off of him and began to walk away.
"Mi-chan?" she asked as she watched him leave. He stopped and turned his head.
"Don't you think you've said enough?" He asked her. "Please do me the favor of leaving me alone." He began to walk again, ignoring the pain in his chest and the sound of Fuuko's sobs. He closed his eyes forcing the tears back. He hadn't cried since that day, when they took his sister from him and he would not start now. He began to walk faster, trying to forget the feeling of Fuuko's arms around him.
Why'd it have to be her who found me? He asked himself as he began to pick up speed. Why couldn't it have been someone else? Anyone else? Why must I continue to live? I only cause pain in the lives of the people that I care about.
The image of Fuuko sitting there, eyes full of hurt crept into his mind and he began to fight the tears away again. His legs beginning to pump faster.
I was cursed to suffer. He thought, But not you, Fuuko. I never want to see you like that again. Yet I will continue to see you in such anguish as long as I live. Why? Why? Why? It was so much easier before I met them. Before I met Hanabishi, before I met Yanagi, Konganei, Ishijima, Kage Houshi, before I met you, Fuuko.
He turned his head back looking at that small speak that was Fuuko. He could still see her sorrowful face in his mind. Sorrows that he had brought on. He was not worthy to live. He was not worthy to know her. Why was he cursed to suffer, to make others suffer?
Fuuko watched as Tokiya began to run away. She could feel her heart screaming for her to chase after him, but she knew she couldn't. He would just push her away again. Like he did to everybody else around him.
Mi-chan no baka. She thought. Her eyes never moving from that small speak that was Mikigami Tokiya. You don't realize what you have. You're so wrapped up in your own self-loathing that you haven't realized what I have realized about you so long ago.
She began to walk away, slowly at first but then faster. She remember the miserable look on his face. She remember how stiff he became when she held him. She had noticed the way he looked at her when had said those words.
Mi-chan you might be able to fool Recca and Domon into thinking that you're a cold-hearted snob, but not me. Not anymore. She thought, You have a heart, those were feelings you just expressed to me. I can see how lonely and afraid you are. But you don't have to worry. 'Cause I'm here for you Mi-chan and no matter how hard you push me away I'll never leave your side. I swear this to you Mi-chan.
Owari