"Ross, over here!" Chandler called the next day, as he waved at the familiar figure. Almost instantly, he was enveloped in a hug shared by both Ross and Rachel. "Yeah, good to see you guys, too," he managed. "Air," he pleaded after a moment. The hug broke and Ross and Rachel stared at him intently.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Where is she? They?" Ross added.
"Sam's at school and Monica's at home. Her home," he added quickly. Ross looked confused. "I didn't tell her you were coming," Chandler added sheepishly.
"You what?" Rachel exclaimed. "Why not?" He shrugged. "Well, I guess she'll find out soon enough," she said, not wanting to press him, as it was obvious he'd been through quite a lot. "We ready?" Chandler nodded and indicated for them to follow him to the car.
"How is she?" Ross asked nervously. He hadn't been able to think of anything but Monica since he'd heard from Chandler. Finally, after so many years, he'd get to see his sister again, as well as his niece.
"She's fine," Chandler replied. "Her cast comes off next week and she's healing fine... most of the injuries healed while she was in the hospital, so her leftover recovery time is pretty much at a minimum."
"And how are you?" Rachel asked.
"Fine," he answered, and sensing that he didn't want to talk about it, she let the subject drop and looked out the window, barely able to contain her excitement.
"Chandler, is that you?" Monica's voice floated from the kitchen as the apartment door opened.
"Yeah," he replied as he dropped the keys on the table and put Rachel's bag inside the door. Monica hobbled out of the kitchen and was once again stunned at the sight before her. Ross, being that he was far less shocked, rushed at her.
"Mon!" He seized her in a tight embrace, although careful not to hurt her. Monica, at a loss for words, stood unmoving, staring at Rachel and Chandler who stood by the door. Once she found her voice, she ventured a whisper.
"Hi, Ross." He let go and stood back, looking her up and down. She noticed that there were tears in his eyes and felt instantly guilty once again. Rachel silently approached her, almost nervously, and hugged her tightly, not saying a word. When she released her, Monica shifted her weight nervously and looked at the floor. "Well, uh... come in. I guess... uh... we should talk." She turned and limped toward the den as the other three silently followed her.
Hours later, once the conversation had become much more manageable and most of the details had been cleared up, the four were seated in the den drinking coffee and talking, almost as if they were back in college. The only one who remained somewhat removed from the conversation was Chandler, who was still rather bewildered and dealing with his own thoughts. As the talk calmed down, they heard the door open and both Ross and Rachel's eyes widened at the realization that they were about to meet Monica's daughter. "Mom, Dad?" They both turned toward the entrance in anticipation. As Sam entered the room she froze, momentarily confused until she realized that the faces staring at her closely mirrored those that she had seen in her mother's album. "Uh... hi." She greeted them nervously.
"Sam, sweetheart, this is my brother... your uncle, Ross, and this is my best friend, Rachel," Monica introduced. "Guys, this is Sam. My daughter. Our daughter," she corrected. Sam smiled. "Finally," she thought. "Finally, maybe Mom will get her life back." When she looked at Chandler's troubled expression, her thoughts continued. "Maybe not necessarily a relationship with my Dad ever again," she thought sadly, "but at least she has her friends back." She smiled again as she looked at the four faces and wondered how long it would take to rebuild the bridges.
"So what's going on with you two?" Rachel asked inquisitively as she sat with Chandler in the bar a few days later.
"What do you mean?" he asked sullenly.
"You and Monica. What's going on?" Chandler sighed and emptied his glass, waving to the bartender to get him another.
"I don't know. I guess nothing." Sensing that there was at least something he wasn't telling her, Rachel persisted.
"You guess nothing? Come on, Chandler, I know you better than that. You've been here for over two weeks, living in her house... you mean to tell me that NOTHING has gone on. You have to have at least talked, right?" He nodded glumly.
"Yeah," he answered half-heartedly. "We talked."
"And?"
"And...?"
"What did you talk ABOUT?"
"Sam. Why she left. That's about it."
"Well, what did she say?"
"Something about she didn't want to take away my youth," he answered bitterly as he thanked the barman for his drink. "She thought she was doing me a favor." He snorted. "Some favor." Rachel sighed. "And... uh... we kissed."
"WHAT?!" she exclaimed, sending a mouthful of beer over the counter. "Sorry," she apologized to the bartender sheepishly. She turned once again to Chandler. "You WHAT?"
"Nothing big... it just... kinda... happened. We were talking, she was crying... one thing led to another and I couldn't help myself."
"What happened after you kissed?" Rachel asked excitedly.
"Nothing," he replied simply. "I stopped, told her I couldn't and went to bed." Rachel sighed.
"Why'd you do that?" Chandler turned to face her, somewhat annoyed.
"What do you mean, 'why'd I do that?' She LEFT me! She ran away, WITH MY DAUGHTER! If she hadn't gotten into a car accident, I might NEVER have known my own child! I might never have known what happened to her, or why she left! I can't just forget all that," he answered defensively. Rachel sighed, shaking her head.
"No one expects you to, Chandler," she told him gently. "But you can't pretend that you don't still love her. You can't deny your feelings... that's just lying to yourself." She shook her head as Chandler tried to object and went on. "You have loved her since the day she left you, and not once has that faltered. I know that you're still hurting, and I'm not trying to undermine that, but have you taken the time to think about her as well? I know that she left you, I know that it might have been the wrong thing to do, but think about what HER life has been like since she left. You had to deal with a broken heart, and I know how difficult that was, I was there. But she had one too, you'd better believe it. Plus, she was dealing with a broken heart, a pregnancy at the age of nineteen, the fact that she had moved away from her home, and the knowledge that she was going to be a single mother. And I know that you thought that maybe she didn't love you, but you have NO idea how untrue that is. I never told you this because I didn't want to upset you, but I remember the way she used to talk about you all the time, and how jealous I got when she would spend ALL of her time with you. She loved you, and there is no doubt in my mind that she still does. It's obvious in the way she gazes at you, and the way she watches you when you're not looking. She still loves you, and all you have to do is let her know that you forgive her... then both of you can have all of your pain healed."
"But..." Chandler paused, trying to think of an argument. "I don't know HOW to forgive her," he eventually said, knowing how childish it sounded. Rachel sighed.
"If you love her... you'll figure it out."
Chandler silently turned his glass around on the counter, lost in thought.
Two weeks later, Ross and Rachel were preparing to leave for New York the following day. Monica had gotten her cast off a week earlier, and things had almost returned to normal, with the exception of the three extra people around at all times. Little had happened between Chandler and Monica... he'd been keeping his distance, and with Ross and Rachel nearby, there had been no opportunities for her to talk to him alone. He was going to be heading back to New York soon, and she wondered if anything would be resolved before that day came. She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving and their only contact being through Sam, and she prayed that things would be resolved before he left. A part of her wished that he didn't have to go back, that he would stay in North Carolina, but she knew that such thoughts were foolish. He has his own life, she reminded herself. She had found herself numerous times wondering if that life included a girlfriend, but Rachel had confided in her that Chandler's dating habits were relatively uneventful and non-committed. Monica felt a combination of guilt and relief when she heard that; she was felt guiltily satisfied that another woman hadn't captured his heart, but at the same time she wondered if he sabotaged himself as a result of her leaving him. She prayed that she'd be given the opportunity to at least get everything out in the open before he left. The questions and thoughts that had occupied her mind and heart for so many years were even stronger now that she was so close to having them answered. She sighed and knocked on the door to the room where Chandler and Ross were talking. Despite the fact that Ross and Rachel had been staying at a nearby hotel, they were always at Monica's apartment unless they were sleeping. She pushed the door open when Ross's voice invited her in. "I was thinking," she began quickly, avoiding Chandler's penetrating eyes, "that we should celebrate tonight. We should enjoy your last night here," she added, and was relieved when Ross nodded in agreement. "There's a restaurant nearby that's really nice... I thought the four of us could go. It'd be like old times," she added.
"Sure, that sounds good," Ross agreed. Monica nodded and smiled, exiting quickly as the nervousness at being in the same room as Chandler took over once again.
"How do I look?" Monica asked as she nervously smoothed the front of her dress.
"Sweetie, for the thousandth time, you look wonderful. And he's going to think so, too," she added with a smile.
"Rach, please," Monica said, blushing, as she picked up her purse off of the bed. "Ready?" Rachel nodded and followed her out of the room. As they headed toward the den, Monica had a momentary flashback of her high school prom, and was struck with an ironic sense of deja vu. As they walked into the den, Ross and Chandler rose from the couch where they had been sitting. "Wow," Ross said with a smile. "You guys look great."
"Thank you," Rachel said, beaming, as Monica nervously smiled. Chandler gazed at her, hit with the same memories that had clouded Monica's mind only moments beforehand. Ross offered Rachel his arm and escorted her out of the apartment. Chandler timidly offered Monica his, and she took it gratefully.
"He was right," he said nervously. "You look... beautiful."
Monica felt the flush creep up her neck and was fairly certain that her cheeks were red as she stammered a nervous "thank you." He smiled and led her out the door through which Ross and Rachel had already exited.
As they sat at the table drinking coffee after their meal, each of the four thought sadly of the fact that this could be the last time for awhile that they were together. They had all enjoyed the days of reminiscing, and despite the palpable tension between Chandler and Monica, the week had been a happy one. As a familiar song came on, Ross stood up and pointed toward the dance floor. "Well, sis, how about doing your old brother a favor and dancing?" Monica smiled and gently placed her napkin on the tablecloth.
"I guess I could do that," she said agreeably as she walked with him to the center of the room. When they were gone, Chandler turned to Rachel, stood up, and held out his hand.
"Rach?" She smiled and accepted as they joined their friends on the dance floor.
"You know," Rachel began once they had started dancing, "this would be an opportune time for you and Monica to strike up some conversation." Chandler sighed.
"Maybe." After a moment, she spoke again.
"I remember when we tried the whole dating thing," Rachel said to him.
"Yeah," he said, laughing slightly. "That lasted what, a half-hour?" She looked at him sadly.
"That's longer than the majority of your relationships last." He looked at her, momentarily offended, but deep down knew that she was right. "There's a reason for that, Chandler," she added.
"I know," he said simply, at which point Rachel let it go. As the song drew to a close, she pulled away from him. "Dance with her, Chandler," she advised. He nodded and made his way to where Ross and Monica were standing.
"May I cut in?" he asked nervously. Ross smiled and nodded, walking away and toward Rachel. The next song began, and Chandler almost sighed at the irony of it as he took Monica in his arms. She smiled nervously up at him before draping her arms around his neck as he rested his hands lightly around her waist.
When the road gets dark, and you can no longer see,
Just let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me.
When the tears you cry are all you can believe,
Just give these loving arms a try, baby, and have a little faith in me.
Have a little faith in me,
Have a little faith in me.
He heard her sigh as she rested her head gently on his shoulder and he felt his stomach churn as the smell of her hair drifted upward and overpowered him. "I wish you'd had faith in me, Mon," he whispered into her hair as they swayed back and forth to the music. Not trusting herself to look into his eyes, she kept her head on his shoulder as her eyes filled with tears and he sighed again, tightening his grip ever so slightly.
When your secret heart cannot speak so easily,
Come here darlin, from the whisper of stars,
To have a little faith in me.
And when your back's against the wall, just turn around and you will see,
I will catch you, I will catch your fall, baby, just have a little faith in me.
Have a little faith in me,
Have a little faith in me.
After a few moments, she found the courage to speak and her small voice broke the silence between them. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, knowing how inadequate an apology it was, but at the same time knowing that she didn't know what more to say. "I'm so sorry, Chandler," she repeated as the tears spilled over. She felt reassured when he rubbed her back and she pulled away to look at him. He felt a pang when he saw the tears that glistened in her eyes and dampened her cheeks, and he wondered what he could do to fix the situation.
Well I been loving you for such a long time, girl, expecting nothing in return,
Just for you to have a little faith in me.
You see time, time is our friend, 'cause for us there is no end,
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me.
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up,
Your love gives me strength enough, so have a little faith in me.
All you gotta do for me girl is have a little bit of faith in me.
As soon as he realized the question, he knew the answer.
"'Night, guys!" Rachel called back as Chandler and Monica dropped them off at their hotel. "We'll see you in the morning. Eleven, right?" Monica nodded as they slammed the door and waved as they retreated into the hotel. As they sat in the car, surrounded by silence, Monica wondered what he was thinking. He hadn't said a word to her since she'd apologized during their dance, and she speculated on whether or not he was still angry. As he pulled up outside her apartment building and turned off the ignition, she wondered if she'd ever be forgiven. She followed him up to the door and shivered in the cool night air as he unlocked it. He held the door open for her and she gave him a small smile as she walked past. As she stood in the den in the darkness, she found herself soothed by the simple fact that he was there with her, and she dreaded the day when he'd be gone again. She heard him drop the keys on the table and come up behind her. She stiffened when she felt his presence and wondered yet again what he was thinking about. She felt an oddly familiar tingle as he helped her off with her coat and laid it over the back of the armchair. She turned to face him and found herself aching to kiss him again, but the thought of him pulling away a second time was far too daunting a possibility to overlook. Wanting to know how angry he still was, she took a deep breath and repeated her apology. "I'm sorry, Chandler," she began, but she was cut off by him shaking his head and placing a finger to her lips. She melted at his touch and gazed intently into his baby blue eyes, hoping against all hope that she would be forgiven.
"Enough," he said simply. "We've wasted enough years." Wondering what he meant, and hoping she already knew, she frowned slightly. "What's important now," he continued, "is what we're going to do with the future." She felt a glimmer of hope stir deep within and she looked at him pleadingly.
"And what are we going to do with it?" she asked timidly. He was silent for a moment and once again brushed his hand delicately against her cheek. He half-smiled as he felt her soft skin beneath his fingertips.
"Make it count," he whispered as he leaned toward her. Their lips met in a much-awaited kiss that deepened with each passing second, and they both found themselves glad that Sam was at Nicole's. Chandler explored her familiar mouth and she returned the kiss hungrily, running her hands through his hair and standing on her tiptoes. Wrapping his strong arms around her small waist, he lifted her up effortlessly and made his way toward her bedroom. As they entered the room, they fell back onto Monica's bed, kissing eagerly, enjoying the feeling of doing so. Monica felt her heart swell as Chandler's hands ran gently over her body, as if reminding himself what it felt like to touch her. "Monica," he whispered into her skin as he peppered her neck with delicate kisses. All of the ache he'd felt for so long vanished and was replaced with a need so strong that he was almost fearful of it. He pulled away suddenly and Monica looked up at him, worried that he was going to walk out again.
"Don't leave again," he said, his eyes pleading. "Please," he begged. Mon's eyes filled with tears again and she reached out a hand to caress his cheek.
"Oh, sweetheart," she whispered. "Never." Reassured, he leaned in toward her and kissed her tenderly once again.
The next morning, as he awoke, Chandler was momentarily confused when he realized he was not in the room he'd been sleeping in for the past two weeks. As he looked down and saw Monica in his arms, his heart skipped and his face broke into a smile. He felt as though something were missing, and as he gazed down at her beautiful face, he realized what it was. For years, he had been living with a shadow. A question, an ache, a fear... but as soon as he'd kissed her the night before, the shadow had disappeared. The question had been answered, the ache had been soothed, and the fear had vanished when she'd kissed him back. Knowing that she still loved him filled the void that had dominated his emotions for sixteen years, and being with her again had made him happier than he'd been since before she'd left. As she rolled over and smiled up at him, he felt as though he could fly. "'Morning, gorgeous," he murmured into her ear.
"Good morning to you, too," she greeted him, and giggled when he kissed her neck.
"It's been awhile," he said as he brushed his fingers over her arm.
"Since what?"
"Since I got to wake up next to you," he said.
"Well, you won't have to again," she replied. "If you don't want to." He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the smell of her skin.
"I don't," he whispered as, for the first time in years, he allowed himself to be happy.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Where is she? They?" Ross added.
"Sam's at school and Monica's at home. Her home," he added quickly. Ross looked confused. "I didn't tell her you were coming," Chandler added sheepishly.
"You what?" Rachel exclaimed. "Why not?" He shrugged. "Well, I guess she'll find out soon enough," she said, not wanting to press him, as it was obvious he'd been through quite a lot. "We ready?" Chandler nodded and indicated for them to follow him to the car.
"How is she?" Ross asked nervously. He hadn't been able to think of anything but Monica since he'd heard from Chandler. Finally, after so many years, he'd get to see his sister again, as well as his niece.
"She's fine," Chandler replied. "Her cast comes off next week and she's healing fine... most of the injuries healed while she was in the hospital, so her leftover recovery time is pretty much at a minimum."
"And how are you?" Rachel asked.
"Fine," he answered, and sensing that he didn't want to talk about it, she let the subject drop and looked out the window, barely able to contain her excitement.
"Chandler, is that you?" Monica's voice floated from the kitchen as the apartment door opened.
"Yeah," he replied as he dropped the keys on the table and put Rachel's bag inside the door. Monica hobbled out of the kitchen and was once again stunned at the sight before her. Ross, being that he was far less shocked, rushed at her.
"Mon!" He seized her in a tight embrace, although careful not to hurt her. Monica, at a loss for words, stood unmoving, staring at Rachel and Chandler who stood by the door. Once she found her voice, she ventured a whisper.
"Hi, Ross." He let go and stood back, looking her up and down. She noticed that there were tears in his eyes and felt instantly guilty once again. Rachel silently approached her, almost nervously, and hugged her tightly, not saying a word. When she released her, Monica shifted her weight nervously and looked at the floor. "Well, uh... come in. I guess... uh... we should talk." She turned and limped toward the den as the other three silently followed her.
Hours later, once the conversation had become much more manageable and most of the details had been cleared up, the four were seated in the den drinking coffee and talking, almost as if they were back in college. The only one who remained somewhat removed from the conversation was Chandler, who was still rather bewildered and dealing with his own thoughts. As the talk calmed down, they heard the door open and both Ross and Rachel's eyes widened at the realization that they were about to meet Monica's daughter. "Mom, Dad?" They both turned toward the entrance in anticipation. As Sam entered the room she froze, momentarily confused until she realized that the faces staring at her closely mirrored those that she had seen in her mother's album. "Uh... hi." She greeted them nervously.
"Sam, sweetheart, this is my brother... your uncle, Ross, and this is my best friend, Rachel," Monica introduced. "Guys, this is Sam. My daughter. Our daughter," she corrected. Sam smiled. "Finally," she thought. "Finally, maybe Mom will get her life back." When she looked at Chandler's troubled expression, her thoughts continued. "Maybe not necessarily a relationship with my Dad ever again," she thought sadly, "but at least she has her friends back." She smiled again as she looked at the four faces and wondered how long it would take to rebuild the bridges.
"So what's going on with you two?" Rachel asked inquisitively as she sat with Chandler in the bar a few days later.
"What do you mean?" he asked sullenly.
"You and Monica. What's going on?" Chandler sighed and emptied his glass, waving to the bartender to get him another.
"I don't know. I guess nothing." Sensing that there was at least something he wasn't telling her, Rachel persisted.
"You guess nothing? Come on, Chandler, I know you better than that. You've been here for over two weeks, living in her house... you mean to tell me that NOTHING has gone on. You have to have at least talked, right?" He nodded glumly.
"Yeah," he answered half-heartedly. "We talked."
"And?"
"And...?"
"What did you talk ABOUT?"
"Sam. Why she left. That's about it."
"Well, what did she say?"
"Something about she didn't want to take away my youth," he answered bitterly as he thanked the barman for his drink. "She thought she was doing me a favor." He snorted. "Some favor." Rachel sighed. "And... uh... we kissed."
"WHAT?!" she exclaimed, sending a mouthful of beer over the counter. "Sorry," she apologized to the bartender sheepishly. She turned once again to Chandler. "You WHAT?"
"Nothing big... it just... kinda... happened. We were talking, she was crying... one thing led to another and I couldn't help myself."
"What happened after you kissed?" Rachel asked excitedly.
"Nothing," he replied simply. "I stopped, told her I couldn't and went to bed." Rachel sighed.
"Why'd you do that?" Chandler turned to face her, somewhat annoyed.
"What do you mean, 'why'd I do that?' She LEFT me! She ran away, WITH MY DAUGHTER! If she hadn't gotten into a car accident, I might NEVER have known my own child! I might never have known what happened to her, or why she left! I can't just forget all that," he answered defensively. Rachel sighed, shaking her head.
"No one expects you to, Chandler," she told him gently. "But you can't pretend that you don't still love her. You can't deny your feelings... that's just lying to yourself." She shook her head as Chandler tried to object and went on. "You have loved her since the day she left you, and not once has that faltered. I know that you're still hurting, and I'm not trying to undermine that, but have you taken the time to think about her as well? I know that she left you, I know that it might have been the wrong thing to do, but think about what HER life has been like since she left. You had to deal with a broken heart, and I know how difficult that was, I was there. But she had one too, you'd better believe it. Plus, she was dealing with a broken heart, a pregnancy at the age of nineteen, the fact that she had moved away from her home, and the knowledge that she was going to be a single mother. And I know that you thought that maybe she didn't love you, but you have NO idea how untrue that is. I never told you this because I didn't want to upset you, but I remember the way she used to talk about you all the time, and how jealous I got when she would spend ALL of her time with you. She loved you, and there is no doubt in my mind that she still does. It's obvious in the way she gazes at you, and the way she watches you when you're not looking. She still loves you, and all you have to do is let her know that you forgive her... then both of you can have all of your pain healed."
"But..." Chandler paused, trying to think of an argument. "I don't know HOW to forgive her," he eventually said, knowing how childish it sounded. Rachel sighed.
"If you love her... you'll figure it out."
Chandler silently turned his glass around on the counter, lost in thought.
Two weeks later, Ross and Rachel were preparing to leave for New York the following day. Monica had gotten her cast off a week earlier, and things had almost returned to normal, with the exception of the three extra people around at all times. Little had happened between Chandler and Monica... he'd been keeping his distance, and with Ross and Rachel nearby, there had been no opportunities for her to talk to him alone. He was going to be heading back to New York soon, and she wondered if anything would be resolved before that day came. She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving and their only contact being through Sam, and she prayed that things would be resolved before he left. A part of her wished that he didn't have to go back, that he would stay in North Carolina, but she knew that such thoughts were foolish. He has his own life, she reminded herself. She had found herself numerous times wondering if that life included a girlfriend, but Rachel had confided in her that Chandler's dating habits were relatively uneventful and non-committed. Monica felt a combination of guilt and relief when she heard that; she was felt guiltily satisfied that another woman hadn't captured his heart, but at the same time she wondered if he sabotaged himself as a result of her leaving him. She prayed that she'd be given the opportunity to at least get everything out in the open before he left. The questions and thoughts that had occupied her mind and heart for so many years were even stronger now that she was so close to having them answered. She sighed and knocked on the door to the room where Chandler and Ross were talking. Despite the fact that Ross and Rachel had been staying at a nearby hotel, they were always at Monica's apartment unless they were sleeping. She pushed the door open when Ross's voice invited her in. "I was thinking," she began quickly, avoiding Chandler's penetrating eyes, "that we should celebrate tonight. We should enjoy your last night here," she added, and was relieved when Ross nodded in agreement. "There's a restaurant nearby that's really nice... I thought the four of us could go. It'd be like old times," she added.
"Sure, that sounds good," Ross agreed. Monica nodded and smiled, exiting quickly as the nervousness at being in the same room as Chandler took over once again.
"How do I look?" Monica asked as she nervously smoothed the front of her dress.
"Sweetie, for the thousandth time, you look wonderful. And he's going to think so, too," she added with a smile.
"Rach, please," Monica said, blushing, as she picked up her purse off of the bed. "Ready?" Rachel nodded and followed her out of the room. As they headed toward the den, Monica had a momentary flashback of her high school prom, and was struck with an ironic sense of deja vu. As they walked into the den, Ross and Chandler rose from the couch where they had been sitting. "Wow," Ross said with a smile. "You guys look great."
"Thank you," Rachel said, beaming, as Monica nervously smiled. Chandler gazed at her, hit with the same memories that had clouded Monica's mind only moments beforehand. Ross offered Rachel his arm and escorted her out of the apartment. Chandler timidly offered Monica his, and she took it gratefully.
"He was right," he said nervously. "You look... beautiful."
Monica felt the flush creep up her neck and was fairly certain that her cheeks were red as she stammered a nervous "thank you." He smiled and led her out the door through which Ross and Rachel had already exited.
As they sat at the table drinking coffee after their meal, each of the four thought sadly of the fact that this could be the last time for awhile that they were together. They had all enjoyed the days of reminiscing, and despite the palpable tension between Chandler and Monica, the week had been a happy one. As a familiar song came on, Ross stood up and pointed toward the dance floor. "Well, sis, how about doing your old brother a favor and dancing?" Monica smiled and gently placed her napkin on the tablecloth.
"I guess I could do that," she said agreeably as she walked with him to the center of the room. When they were gone, Chandler turned to Rachel, stood up, and held out his hand.
"Rach?" She smiled and accepted as they joined their friends on the dance floor.
"You know," Rachel began once they had started dancing, "this would be an opportune time for you and Monica to strike up some conversation." Chandler sighed.
"Maybe." After a moment, she spoke again.
"I remember when we tried the whole dating thing," Rachel said to him.
"Yeah," he said, laughing slightly. "That lasted what, a half-hour?" She looked at him sadly.
"That's longer than the majority of your relationships last." He looked at her, momentarily offended, but deep down knew that she was right. "There's a reason for that, Chandler," she added.
"I know," he said simply, at which point Rachel let it go. As the song drew to a close, she pulled away from him. "Dance with her, Chandler," she advised. He nodded and made his way to where Ross and Monica were standing.
"May I cut in?" he asked nervously. Ross smiled and nodded, walking away and toward Rachel. The next song began, and Chandler almost sighed at the irony of it as he took Monica in his arms. She smiled nervously up at him before draping her arms around his neck as he rested his hands lightly around her waist.
When the road gets dark, and you can no longer see,
Just let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me.
When the tears you cry are all you can believe,
Just give these loving arms a try, baby, and have a little faith in me.
Have a little faith in me,
Have a little faith in me.
He heard her sigh as she rested her head gently on his shoulder and he felt his stomach churn as the smell of her hair drifted upward and overpowered him. "I wish you'd had faith in me, Mon," he whispered into her hair as they swayed back and forth to the music. Not trusting herself to look into his eyes, she kept her head on his shoulder as her eyes filled with tears and he sighed again, tightening his grip ever so slightly.
When your secret heart cannot speak so easily,
Come here darlin, from the whisper of stars,
To have a little faith in me.
And when your back's against the wall, just turn around and you will see,
I will catch you, I will catch your fall, baby, just have a little faith in me.
Have a little faith in me,
Have a little faith in me.
After a few moments, she found the courage to speak and her small voice broke the silence between them. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, knowing how inadequate an apology it was, but at the same time knowing that she didn't know what more to say. "I'm so sorry, Chandler," she repeated as the tears spilled over. She felt reassured when he rubbed her back and she pulled away to look at him. He felt a pang when he saw the tears that glistened in her eyes and dampened her cheeks, and he wondered what he could do to fix the situation.
Well I been loving you for such a long time, girl, expecting nothing in return,
Just for you to have a little faith in me.
You see time, time is our friend, 'cause for us there is no end,
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me.
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up,
Your love gives me strength enough, so have a little faith in me.
All you gotta do for me girl is have a little bit of faith in me.
As soon as he realized the question, he knew the answer.
"'Night, guys!" Rachel called back as Chandler and Monica dropped them off at their hotel. "We'll see you in the morning. Eleven, right?" Monica nodded as they slammed the door and waved as they retreated into the hotel. As they sat in the car, surrounded by silence, Monica wondered what he was thinking. He hadn't said a word to her since she'd apologized during their dance, and she speculated on whether or not he was still angry. As he pulled up outside her apartment building and turned off the ignition, she wondered if she'd ever be forgiven. She followed him up to the door and shivered in the cool night air as he unlocked it. He held the door open for her and she gave him a small smile as she walked past. As she stood in the den in the darkness, she found herself soothed by the simple fact that he was there with her, and she dreaded the day when he'd be gone again. She heard him drop the keys on the table and come up behind her. She stiffened when she felt his presence and wondered yet again what he was thinking about. She felt an oddly familiar tingle as he helped her off with her coat and laid it over the back of the armchair. She turned to face him and found herself aching to kiss him again, but the thought of him pulling away a second time was far too daunting a possibility to overlook. Wanting to know how angry he still was, she took a deep breath and repeated her apology. "I'm sorry, Chandler," she began, but she was cut off by him shaking his head and placing a finger to her lips. She melted at his touch and gazed intently into his baby blue eyes, hoping against all hope that she would be forgiven.
"Enough," he said simply. "We've wasted enough years." Wondering what he meant, and hoping she already knew, she frowned slightly. "What's important now," he continued, "is what we're going to do with the future." She felt a glimmer of hope stir deep within and she looked at him pleadingly.
"And what are we going to do with it?" she asked timidly. He was silent for a moment and once again brushed his hand delicately against her cheek. He half-smiled as he felt her soft skin beneath his fingertips.
"Make it count," he whispered as he leaned toward her. Their lips met in a much-awaited kiss that deepened with each passing second, and they both found themselves glad that Sam was at Nicole's. Chandler explored her familiar mouth and she returned the kiss hungrily, running her hands through his hair and standing on her tiptoes. Wrapping his strong arms around her small waist, he lifted her up effortlessly and made his way toward her bedroom. As they entered the room, they fell back onto Monica's bed, kissing eagerly, enjoying the feeling of doing so. Monica felt her heart swell as Chandler's hands ran gently over her body, as if reminding himself what it felt like to touch her. "Monica," he whispered into her skin as he peppered her neck with delicate kisses. All of the ache he'd felt for so long vanished and was replaced with a need so strong that he was almost fearful of it. He pulled away suddenly and Monica looked up at him, worried that he was going to walk out again.
"Don't leave again," he said, his eyes pleading. "Please," he begged. Mon's eyes filled with tears again and she reached out a hand to caress his cheek.
"Oh, sweetheart," she whispered. "Never." Reassured, he leaned in toward her and kissed her tenderly once again.
The next morning, as he awoke, Chandler was momentarily confused when he realized he was not in the room he'd been sleeping in for the past two weeks. As he looked down and saw Monica in his arms, his heart skipped and his face broke into a smile. He felt as though something were missing, and as he gazed down at her beautiful face, he realized what it was. For years, he had been living with a shadow. A question, an ache, a fear... but as soon as he'd kissed her the night before, the shadow had disappeared. The question had been answered, the ache had been soothed, and the fear had vanished when she'd kissed him back. Knowing that she still loved him filled the void that had dominated his emotions for sixteen years, and being with her again had made him happier than he'd been since before she'd left. As she rolled over and smiled up at him, he felt as though he could fly. "'Morning, gorgeous," he murmured into her ear.
"Good morning to you, too," she greeted him, and giggled when he kissed her neck.
"It's been awhile," he said as he brushed his fingers over her arm.
"Since what?"
"Since I got to wake up next to you," he said.
"Well, you won't have to again," she replied. "If you don't want to." He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the smell of her skin.
"I don't," he whispered as, for the first time in years, he allowed himself to be happy.