Chapter Two

Dawn looked around at the people that had gathered at her house for Xander's memorial. It seemed as though everyone who had even remotely been associated with the Scooby Gang over the years had turned up.

It had been one week since Xander had disappeared. And as far as Dawn was concerned, he had disappeared. She refused to say he had died. To her he was simply in another place, and while in her head she knew she would not see him again, her heart still held a little bit of hope.

It may have been wishful thinking but it helped her cope. Which is what she needed this close to the loss of her mother.

She wiped her eyes, as the memories of one week ago came flooding back.

She had been upstairs in her bedroom, when she heard the sound of her front door opening. She had taken to staying up till Buffy got home lately. Giles had told her it was her way of making sure Buffy was okay. She understood that and thankfully neither Buffy nor Giles had any problem with it. As she made her way down the stairs, she looked over at them in the lounge room and immediately knew something was wrong. She had seen the look too soon ago. She just looked at them, not saying a word.

"Dawn.." Buffy started.

"No!" Dawn screamed before running up the stairs to her bedroom.

Buffy turned to face Giles, "I can't do this again." She couldn't get out anymore as more tears started to flow down her face.

Giles moved over and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm here for you Buffy, but Dawn needs to hear it from you."

Buffy looked up at Giles, seeing the pain on his face. It equaled her own. She nodded, and moved up the stairs.

Dawn lay on her bed, trying not to think about all of the possibilities of what could have gone wrong. She tried not thinking of names. That was too painful. The soft knocking at the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Go away!" she shouted.

Buffy turned the doorknob and opened the door. "Dawn," she pleaded. Seeing that she got no response, Buffy moved over the bed and sat down on the edge of it. Buffy couldn't bring herself to say it. She grabbed hold of Dawn's hand. "It's Xander,"

Dawn's lip started quivering, tears started appearing at the sides of her eyes and she felt her throat gag slightly. "No!" she cried, "No!"

Buffy grabbed her and held onto her tightly, letting her own tears fall as the two sisters tried to find some strength in each other, when both of them felt none at all.

Dawn wiped a small tear away, which had flowed as she remembered that night. She knew however that no matter how bad she was feeling, Anya felt worse. She hadn't been there when Willow and Tara had gone back to the magic shop to inform Anya what happened one week ago. And she hadn't talked to either of them about that night. Dawn decided that it was a private thing for Anya. But then five days later Anya turned up on their doorstep, tears falling down her face, and crying out that he was really gone. Buffy and her had sat with Anya for hours that night. Firstly holding her, then reminiscing with her about various Xander related memories. A couple of times during those trips down memory lane, Dawn stopped. The knowledge that it wasn't real adding a new layer of grief on top of the existing mountain.

But the second time she did that Anya noticed and leaned over and told her something Xander had never told Dawn.

"When we first found out that you ,...well where you came from, Xander and I talked about it for most of the night. He remembered everything from when you came with Buffy and your Mom to Sunnydale. Those memories were real to him. Just as real as they are to you. "

It was then for the first time that Dawn really liked Anya. She had accepted her as Xander's girlfriend, but it was at that moment she felt close to her for the very first time. She reached over to give her a hug, and was surprised when Anya whispered something to her.

"He loved you. Remember that."

Snapping back to the present day, Dawn noticed that Anya was looking over at her. She gave her a smile, though Dawn admitted to herself that it wasn't as reassuring as she hoped it would be. But no matter what else, Dawn had finally understood why Xander loved Anya.

It was then she felt a hand come down on her shoulder. Turning around, she noticed that it was Cordelia. "Hi Cordy," she said with a smile. She may not have seen much of Cordelia since she moved away from Sunnydale, but she still remembered when Xander and Cordelia use to look after her some nights.

"Hey Dawn,' Cordy replied, giving her a hug. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, no, ...you know.."

Cordy gave her sad look. "I know exactly."

Dawn took another look around the room, noticing who was there. Willow, Tara, Angel, Buffy, Giles, Anya, Wesley, Jonathon, Devon, Oz and a few others she didn't know the names of. "Who are they?" she asked Cordy, pointing to the group of people she didn't recognise.

Cordy looked over. "We went to school with them. I think Xander made more of an impact than we or he realised."

"Not me," Dawn protested, trying to stick up for Xander.

Cordelia smiled back at her. "I know. He was always number one to you. I think sometimes all he wanted to do, was keep the Summers' sisters safe."

"Yeah,' Dawn admitted softly. "And looked what happened."

Across the other side of the room, Angel moved over to where Giles was sitting down.

"Giles," Angel said as he approached. Even though it was years after the event, and Angel and Giles had spoken numerous times since, Angel still felt the guilt over the hours he spent torturing Giles.

"Angel," Giles warmly answered, gesturing him to take a seat. "Any news?" he asked quietly.

Angel shook his head. Giles had asked Angel to look into Krostoff, to try and get an idea of what exactly happened to Xander. Because of the lack of information on Krostoff, Giles had hoped that Xander may have been transported somewhere else. Krostoff had talked about 'Time Winds', but Xander had also been thrown out of the energy vortex by Buffy. Giles hoped Angel's connections may be useful.

Unfortunately Angel had no real information. The only thing about Xander he got at all was from The Host, and that was so vague he didn't think it was going to be any use.

"I'm sorry. There's this demon that sees futures." Noticing the look Giles gave him Angel had to let out a chuckle. "I see you have heard about it. Well he said that Xander did what he would always do."

Giles visibly slumped on hearing that news. He had hoped for more.

Angel noticed Giles reaction and sympathised. "I know, it's not really anything. What other information I could find, all concerned the orb. I haven't found any encouraging news."

Giles nodded sadly. He had thought it was too much hope, which is why he had kept it secret from the others. "Then maybe we should remember him, instead of holding out for false hope."

"I'll still keep looking."

"For Buffy and Cordelia?"

Angel shook his head. "For all of us," he replied.

*************

Two weeks later

Dawn and Buffy stood looking at the spot where Xander was last seen. There were no marks, no gravestones, and no memorials. Their memories alone would remember the spot where he faded away. His parents had refused to believe anything bad had happened to him and simply believed he had left Sunnydale without telling them on purpose. Buffy was inclined to tell them what she exactly thought of them but kept quiet. It was a tactful move that Dawn hadn't mastered as she yelled out them.

"Some people don't deserve children."

Needless to say it was the last contact the Summers' girls had with Xander's parents.

Buffy knelt down at the spot she had last touched him. "I'm so sorry Xander."

Dawn knew how guilty Buffy had been feeling since Xander left. At one time Buffy had screamed at Dawn to blame her for what happened, as if that would lift the guilt. But Dawn refused to. She knew that there was nothing Buffy could have done. Cordelia had said it clearly. He would have done anything to save them both. Dawn also knew he would've done it for any of the Scooby Gang.

She knelt down beside Buffy and laid a hand on her shoulder. "He wouldn't want you to be like this."

Buffy looked up at Dawn. "Is that why you seem better," she replied, wishing she could find the strength her kid sister was showing.

"I cry every night. For Mom, for Xander. But I also know they would want us to go on. Live life."

Buffy gave her an appreciative grin. "Since when did you become the big sister?" she asked with admiration.

Dawn may have had a smile on her face, but Buffy could tell the sadness behind it. "Since my big brother showed me the way."

***************

As night fell over Sunnydale, a cool wind whipped up the leaves that had fallen around the town. In the clearing where Xander had disappeared, the silence was broken by the sound of swirling wind, mixed with an almost demonic echo. The sound reached a crescendo, and then exploded. As it did fading into the reality was Xander Harris.

"... my family ... I love you ..."

Suddenly Xander felt whole again. Not daring to get up just at that moment, he patted his chest a few times, just to make sure that it was indeed real.

"Oh thank god. Whatever you did Buffy, thank you." After a few seconds he realised he didn't get any response. "Buffy!"

Lifting himself up he looked around but there was no one in sight.

"Oh great, if there is another me my apartment I'm quitting this gig," he muttered, before getting up, shaking the dirt and leaves off him, before heading off home. He needed a shower some sleep, then a word with the gang about leaving a member out in the field.

End Part Two