Part Five
Xander fought the urge to vomit as the smell of decaying flesh filled his nostrils. He had witnessed death in his lifetime, but that was child's play compared to what he saw in front of his eyes now. The remains of all these people, cut up like a butcher had prepared them for a meal, were left where they fell, as if no one could be bothered to bury them.
Carefully stepping through the maze of bodies, Xander tried not to step on any of them. It was the one respectful thing he could do for them at present. Suddenly, as if the battle had stopped at a certain point, the ground was bare again, the smell less pungent, and the atmosphere less dense. Xander came to a fork in the paths. He was going to investigate down the left, when the sound of metal crashing onto cement took his attention.
He walked quickly over to where the sound was coming from, and froze when he saw the sight in front of him. The beast was huge, at least 20 feet high. Its four arms were all in the shapes of blades, each over ten feet long. The scissors movement they did, made the ground around it an automatic killing field.
Xander had his answer to what had killed the people he saw, but he had no idea how to stop it. Thinking it would be best to get help, he turned to go, when suddenly he heard the gasp of a female.
Turning around quickly he faced the creature, when he saw who had made the sound.
"Buffy" Xander whispered, not believing what he was seeing.
A quick slash of its arms and Buffy jumped away safely. Xander at once breathed a sigh of relief, and shouted, "Buffy!"
Buffy heard the scream and was shocked to see who had said it. "Xander?" she asked confused.
It was a fatal mistake. In that second when Buffy had turned away, the creature took its chance and brought down one of its arms, slicing Buffy in two.
**************
"Buffy!" Xander screamed as he woke from a very unsettled sleep. He tossed and turned, until he realised that it had all been a dream, and he hadn't witnessed the death of his friend. He reached up and grabbed his head in his hands and sobbed. He felt so useless. To be told the friend he had spent a great part of his last five years helping and protecting died and there wasn't anything he could do about it, wasn't sitting well with him.
The door to his room burst open, and in the silhouette he saw the outline of Dawn as she came into the room, taking a seat on the bed next to him.
"Xander, are you okay?"
In the dark, Xander could almost think Dawn was still the same little girl he would have risked anything to help. Her voice hadn't changed that much in the intervening 10 years. But the sound of concern in her voice was new. It was the sound of an adult.
"Umm, I'm fine," Xander replied, a little uncomfortable when she put her arm around him. Although Dawn was wearing some sort of sleeping attire, Xander had only his boxer shorts, and he was starting to feel decidedly weird. He moved slightly away from her, just trying to get some distance between them "Just a bad dream," he added.
Dawn frowned, feeling a little hurt by Xander's movement. All she wanted to do was make sure he was okay. After ten years, it was the least she could do. It was also what she wanted to do. She had dreamt for so long that Xander would come back into their lives. Then after everyone moved away, she hoped he would return to her. It was an attachment to when things were better, that she didn't want to lose.
"I thought you shouted Buffy?"
"What? Oh yeah, you know Buffy was fighting things in the dream," Xander replied, not really wanting to get into things now. It may have been 5 years ago for Dawn, but for Xander it was painfully fresh. "I'll be okay. Can we talk in the morning?"
"Sure," Dawn replied, feeling as though Xander couldn't talk to her. "I'll see you then."
Xander watched Dawn leave and close the door. He knew she had been upset, and he also knew that she was only trying to help. But he needed a little time to digest the fact that he had lost 10 years, let alone the death of one of his best friends.
Not to mention that last night he had spent a particularly vigorous night with Anya, his girlfriend who he loved dearly, whom 10 years ago was told he had died. Now Dawn said no one had any news on where she was. Not to mention the fact the Scooby Gang hardly saw each other any more. Things hadn't turned out how they had wished ten years ago.
Xander rolled over and looked out the window, knowing that he had very little chance of getting to sleep for the rest of the night.
****************
Dawn lay in bed, staring at the ceiling wondering exactly what she did that was so wrong. She understood that Xander would be a little out of it. He had a 10-year gap to get used to. But the hurt she felt when he moved away from her, was more than she thought she could feel.
He had wanted to find out all about his missing years, that night, but apart from the main details, Dawn had convinced him to wait until the morning. His dream was no doubt inspired from what she had told him, and maybe she should have stayed up all night, but Xander looked like he needed sleep.
Dawn remembered the early months after Buffy's death, when she would wake up crying. When the littlest thing would set her off. Many a time Giles would come into her room and comfort her. It was a sacrifice she loved him for, especially when his own pain was just as great, if not greater. She was sure that she lost some friends by her moods over those times. But she also knew she shut people out. She was determined not to let Xander to the same thing.
And that was all she wanted to do now. For ten years she kept hoping that by some miracle she would see him again. She had overheard Giles and Angel talking about it. They weren't hopeful, but they did say there was a chance. It was that hope that she hung onto. It was that hope that got her through his disappearance. It was that hope that made her able to survive Buffy's sacrifice. And it was that hope that kept her strength up when the Scooby Gang splintered and moved away from Sunnydale.
'And he didn't want me to get close to him,' Dawn thought as she continued staring at the ceiling.
***************
Dawn opened her eyes with a start, getting the impression that she was late for something. Looking at the bedside clock, it was only 7.18am.
'Not too late by any means,' she thought as she swung her legs off the bed and got up. She was still troubled by last night, and she also knew that Xander would want the whole story today.
After she got herself out of bed, she grabbed a robe and tied it around her body. Checking herself in the mirror, she saw that the bed had concocted a wonderful hairstyle for her. Rolling her eyes, but not particularly worried about it, she opened the door to her room and stepped outside. When she entered the hallway, she noticed that the door to Xander's room was open. She wandered over to it and called out.
"Xander?"
When she didn't get any answer, she stuck her head in the doorway. The bed was made, and the room was empty. Shrugging to herself, she moved to the stairs, thinking that Xander was probably making breakfast or something.
When she got to the kitchen she found it too was empty.
"Xander," she called out a little louder this time.
As each second passed she started to get a little more nervous. What if he had freaked, and left. What if...well Dawn didn't want to go any further down that line of thought.
She was about to rush out to her car, not really knowing where he would be, when she saw a note, attached to the fridge front door.
She picked it up and read it.
[Dear Dawn,]
She laughed at the little face he drew after her name, exactly like he used to do 10 years ago.
[I couldn't sleep. There are a couple of people I need to see. Didn't want to wake you. Don't worry, will be back soon
love X]
Dawn realised almost immediately where he would be going. It was something he had to do by himself and it wasn't a place for her. She hoped it would help him.
********************
Xander reached down and placed a single flower on top of the gravestone. He looked down at the inscription.
Buffy Summers
1981-2006
Beloved Sister, Daughter, Friend.
He also noticed a smaller inscription on the bottom of the plaque.
"She gave so everyone was safe"
Xander shut his eyes, and replaying his memories of Buffy Summers. The headstone may say 2006, but to Xander it was yesterday. The pain that throbbed through his being was new. It was raw. It was bigger than anything he had ever felt before. The hole in his heart wouldn't close and his whole body ached for one last chance to see her.
Xander dropped to his knees, virtually collapsing on the gravesite. "Oh God, Buffy!" he sobbed, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
*****************
Dawn looked up expectantly when the she heard the door open. A few seconds later Xander entered the kitchen and sat down next to her. It was obvious that he had been crying, and Dawn's heart went out to him. However after last night, she didn't approach him. She knew it made him uncomfortable and she didn't need to feel rejected like last night.
"Coffee?" she asked instead.
Xander merely nodded, hating the fact that he couldn't take care of Dawn. She was taking care of him. He graciously took the coffee from her and took a sip, enjoying the bitter taste as he swallowed.
He took a deep breath. Part of him didn't want to know, but the bigger part, needed to. He wouldn't have any peace until he did.
"Could you tell me about it?" he asked
Dawn leaned forward, knowing this was coming. "What part?"
"All of it."
End of Part Five