Zell's Band
Part 4
Zell opened his sock drawer.
"Hmm, gotta get my pretty pink thockth!" he said to himself. Suddenly, something huge jumped out. Something with teeth. Huge, sharp teeth.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh! Tri-Face!" he screamed, fainting.
Sammy snickered and trotted obediently back to Seifer's room.
"Did you hear something?" Squall asked Rinoa suspiciously.
"What?" she said, frowning.
"I said, 'DID YOU JUST HEAR SOMETHING?'" Squall bellowed.
"No, I'm still deafened from when Selphie screamed that we were gonna win the contest," Rinoa grimaced.
"Yeah, she sure can scream."
"That's what Irvine told me…" Rinoa grinned.
"Look, we need to get out of this stupid band," Irvine said worriedly.
"Duh! State the obvious, Cowboy! Speaking of lame-ass bands, I wonder where Chicken-Wuss is?" said Seifer.
"I dunno, ya know? But them costumes he'll have us wearin' are worrying' me already." Raijin stated.
"Yoo! Thammy! Stop that!" Zell screamed, running onto the quad.
"Here he comes," Irvine said.
Sammy loped onto the quad, a large piece of material in his mouth.
"Hmm," Seifer observed. "Hello Kitty,"
"Sammy! Give me back my PANTH!" Zell screeched, holding a potted plant over his butt.
"Ha! Zell wears Hello Kitty briefs, ya know!?" Raijin hooted, falling to the ground.
"Tho what? You wear Deputy Dawg boxers!" Zell retorted crossly.
"Well, I, um… Hey, how do you know?" Raijin asked incredulously. "You been peepin' on me or somethin'?"
"No! Why the hell would I do that?" Zell yelled.
"Because you're gay?" Seifer asked offhandedly.
"Yoo! Theifer! I am tho not GAY!" Zell howled.
"Are too," Seifer argued.
"ARGUMENT, STOP." Fujin said. "ZELL, GAY."
Seifer gave Fujin a high five, grinning. "I knew you'd come through, Fu,"
"WE WIN!" Selphie squealed.
"Selphie, the contest hasn't started yet, babe," Irvine pointed out.
"I know! I'm just saying it now, because it's obvious! Duh!" she screamed again.
Zell, meanwhile, had been looking very embarrassed in a corner. The janitor came by.
"Och, what's wrong wi' you, laddie?" he asked.
"Yoo! Theifer's thtupid Tri-Face ripped my pants!" Zell complained.
"Och! I kin fix tha'!" the janitor reassured him. "Come along wi' me, laddie. I'll have ye fixed up in nae time!"
Before long, Zell was back, blushing more than ever.
"Zell's wearing a SKIRT!" Seifer guffawed. "It suits you!"
Irvine, Squall, Raijin and Fujin screamed with laughter. (Actually, Raijin screamed because the kilt blew up and Zell flashed him.)
"Yoo! Shut up, you guys! Annabelle, attack!" Zell shrieked.
Ding-dong! The PA system sounded. The band contest is about to start, all contestants, please take your places at the stage!
"Yay! Judgement day!" Rinoa whooped, running off to the stage, where Quistis was waiting.
"Everything okay, Rinoa?" she asked.
"Yeah, but the boys haven't appeared yet," Rinoa replied.
"That's okay!" Selphie hollered. "Easier for us to win!"
"Attention please!" Headmaster Cid shouted through the microphone. "The contest is now officially underway! Our first contestant, please!"
0/~ Oh, my hero,
So far away now,
Will I ever see your smile…? 0/~
"Celes?! Get off the stage! You're not even in this Final Fantasy! Boo!" Selphie hollered.
The music came to an abrupt stop and Celes stuck her finger up at Selphie before being frog-marched off the stage. "I'll get you for this, Tilmit! Mark my words! I had them fooled!" she hissed threateningly.
"Oh, yeah? I'm not scared of you, Locke's bitch!" Selphie retorted.
"How dare you? I'm gonna…" Celes was cut short by Sammy, who opened his mouth and clutched her between his teeth, carrying her off.
"Now that's security!" Rinoa quipped.
"Umm, after that 'interruption', we welcome contestant number two!" Cid boomed.
0/~ Until the break of dawn
Life life
Cannot go by the letter
Time time
Prozac can make it better
Noise noise
Any kind will do
Can you feel it slip away
When it's all on you
Crime crime
Rockin' like Janet Reno
Time time
Eighteen and life in Chino
Freud Freud
All along it's true
Well you'll see there comes a day
Catches up to you
Knock down the walls, it's alive in you
Knock down the place, you're alone it's true
Knock down the world, it's alive in you
You gotta keep your head up through it all
You're gonna
Bust out on it - original prankster
Break out yeah - original yeah
Bust out on it - original prankster
You never stop now, stop now
That's what the main man say… 0/~
"Jess?!" Selphie exclaimed and, seeing the venomous glare the girl on stage gave her, carried on with, "You go, girl!" Because, after all, it's not very wise to boot a fanfic author offstage, not when in their next fic they could erase you completely…
Jess carried on with her rendition of Offspring's 'Original Prankster' having silenced Selphie (hard job to do) and finished to roaring applause. She bowed and looked at her watch.
"Damn it, I gotta get back to my radio show! Laters, everyone! If I win, phone up and tell me, okay? Bye!" with this, she dashed off back to the Balamb Radio building.
"Now, after that sparkling rendition, it's time for contestant number three." Cid said, quite taken aback with what he called 'noisy modern music'. He preferred The Carpenters.
Suddenly, a troop of boys, um, trooped onto the quad. Fujin fell over, Quistis gaped, Selphie screamed -a more frequent event for her than anyone else- and Rinoa just stared.
**************************************************************************************************************************
Why is everyone staring? Who will win? What will Celes do to Selphie and Co. if she ever gets out of Sammy's teeth? Will Irvine actually get to become a groupie? What will Annabelle's role in the band be? Is Zell still wearing that skirt? Find out all this and more in the next 'exciting' installment of ZELL'S BAND!
A/N: Jess, it's a deal. I wrote this, you have to let me guest star now!
TRUST IN ANNABELLE.
ANNABELLE IS YOUR BOVINE SAVIOUR.
For further reference, refer to 'The Ten Commandments Of Annabelle'.