DISCLAIMER: Tecmo own everything DOA related. 20th Century Fox and maybe Matt Groening own The Simpsons.
DOA2: D'oh or Alive
[Tengu and Hayate are sat inside their apartment watching TV. "The Simpsons" (Episode AABF06: Vivi Ned Flanders) is on]
Flanders
How do you do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says, "Think?"
Homer
You mean Lisa?
Flanders
Oh no, I mean common sense!
Homer
Oh, that. That can be treated with our good friend alcohol. You might want to write that down.
[Tengu begins squirming about on the couch]
Tengu
Why are they yellow?
Hayate
Why are who yellow?
Tengu
The Simpsons; why are they yellow?
Hayate
*groans* I don't know!
Tengu
Oh.
[They continue to watch the programme. After a few moments, Tengu starts squirming again]
Hayate
Oh, God! What now?!
Tengu
If Flanders is supossed to be 60-years-old, then how come in Episode 4F07, Hurricane Neddy, his childhood therapist said that-
Hayate
Look! I don't know, alright! Just shut up and lemme watch the damn show!
Tengu
...
Hayate
Thank you!
[Tengu gets off the couch and wanders off into the kitchen]
Hayate
Bliss! *lies back* Ah!
[Suddenly, the doorbell rings]
Tengu
*walking into the room* I'll get it!
[He opens the door. The Simpsons are standing outside]
Marge
Uh, hi, my name is Marge Simpson. Sorry to bother you, but could you tell us where Room 407 is?
Tengu
Oh my God! It's the Simpsons!
Hayate
*running to the door* Holy crap on a stick! How ya doing, folks?!
Homer
Marge, I need to use the bathroom.
Marge
Oh, for Godsake Homer, just wait until we get to our room.
Hayate
Your room?
Marge
Yes, thats right. We're moving in.
Tengu
Wow! The Simpsons are moving into our apartment! This is fabulous!
Bart
Woah, man! Look at the size of that guy's nose!
Maggie
*suck, suck*
Lisa
Ew, and I thought Mr. Burns had a big nose!
Tengu
Hey! Make 'em stop!
Homer
Bart! Lisa! Don't be so mean to the freakin' freak!
Tengu
Hey!
Marge
Homer! Please!
Homer
Sorry, Marge.
Marge
I'm awfully sorry about this.
Hayate
That's okay. Did you say that you were looking for Room 407?
Marge
Yeah, is it on this floor?
Hayate
Actually, its just next door. This is Room 406.
Marge
Oh.
Hayate
Look's like we're neighbours!
Homer
D'oh!
Hayate
Woohoo!
Bender
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Tengu
Huh? Where'd that come from?
[Everyone looks around]
Tengu
Eh, nevermind.
[Later that day... In the Simpsons new apartment]
Homer
Marge, I can't find my pants.
Marge
Homer, you're wearing them.
Homer
Oooh, oh yeah! *sighs*
Marge
Aw, what's the matter, Homie?
Homer
I guess I'm feeling a bit homesick. Why'd we have to leave Springfield anyway?
Marge
Because we wanted to start a new life here in Boston, remember?
Homer
Oh yeah, plus they fired me from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and swore I'd never work in that town again. Damn bastards!
Marge
Yeah...
Homer
Well, I'm going out to Moe's for a beer.
Marge
*clears her throat* Um, Homer... Boston?
Homer
D'oh!
[Just then, the door knocks. Marge answers it. Hayate is standing outside]
Marge
Oh, hello. You're that nice man from next door, right?
Hayate
Yes, I was just passing, and I thought I'd invite you all round to dinner tomorrow night. That is, if you're not too busy or anything.
Marge
Sure, we'd love to come. Right, Homie?
Homer
*groans* Do we have to?
Hayate
Then I'll set five extra places at the table tomorrow. G'night, Mrs. Simpson.
Marge
Good night. *shuts the door* What a polite young man.
[The following night... Hayate and Tengu are sat at the dinner table. The doorbell rings and Hayate gets up to answer it]
Hayate
That'll be them. Okay, make sure you behave properly tonight Tengu. We don't want a repeat of what happened during that party last February.
Tengu
Hey, do you have to bring that incident into every conversation we have?!
[Hayate opens the door. The Simpsons are there]
Marge
Good evening! We're not too early, are we?
Hayate
No, of course not! Come in!
Homer
*walks in* Geez, what smells?!
Bart
Your feet!
Homer
*strangles Bart* Why you little...!
Hayate
I hope you're all hungry, cause we're having pork chops!
Homer
*letting go of Bart* Mmmm... porkchops! *he sits at the dinner table with Tengu* Ergh, does your ugly pet here haveta eat with us?
Tengu
Ugly?! Pet?! I am so disgusted!
Hayate
Silence, Fido! *laughs* It's okay, he won't bite.
Tengu
Wha?!
Hayate
I'll just go get the food. *walks off into the kitchen*
Bart
Dad, can I give Milhouse a call later?
Homer
Why?
Bart
Cause he's my best friend. I gotta know what's going on back in Springfield.
Homer
You don't need that four eyed jerk now, boy. You can make new friends!
Bart
Aw! *looks at Tengu* Hey, Concord, are there any kids living in this apartment?
Tengu
I 'unno.
Bart
Well, do you and your husband have any kids of your own?
Tengu
Husband?!
Hayate
*walking in with a tray of food* Grubs up! *hands out the food*
[The Simpsons start devouring their food very quickly. Hayate and Tengu look on in amazement]
Tengu
Do these people have no manners?! We're supposed to say grace first!
Maggie
*suck, suck*
Hayate
*eating slowly* So, how do you folks like Boston?
Homer
*eating* Can't talk! Eating!
[Later that evening]
Marge
Well, that was very nice. But we really oughta be getting back.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
Marge
We should do it again sometime.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
Homer
But next time, put the brown fatso to bed early.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
[The Simpsons leave. Hayate walks back into the kitchen where Tengu is sitting]
Hayate
That went rather well, don't you think?
Tengu
It sucked ass! I hate that little brat!
Hayate
Bart... His name was Bart.
Tengu
*frowns* I'm going to bed!
[The next morning, Hayate opens the front door of his apartment to see the Simpsons with a load of suitcases]
Hayate
Going on vacation already? Heh, have a good one!
Marge
Uh, actually, we're moving out.
Hayate
What?! You had enough already?!
Homer
Place sucks... People suck...
Marge
Boston just isn't for us. We're going back to Springfield.
Hayate
But I thought there was nothing left for you in Springfield anymore. What changed?
Marge
My little boy Bart here gave his friend a call last night. It seems that Mr. Burns has died, and so Mr. Smithers has taken over the power plant. He's hiring new employees, so Homer is gonna change his identity and try to apply for a job as safety inspector.
Homer
*smiles* I got the idea when I noticed the oven was hot!
Hayate
I sure am gonna miss you guys. You'll stay in touch, right?
Marge
...Sure.
[The Simpsons walk off down the corridor]
Homer
Man, that guy was worse than Flanders!
Hayate
*sighs* Oh, well... *walks back inside his apartment* Tengu, you up yet?
Tengu
*walks into the living room* Was that the Simpsons that I just heard?
Hayate
Yeah, they're going back home.
Tengu
*grins* Yippee! *looks at Hayate* I mean, oh, how sad.
Hayate
*sighs* I'm going out for a walk.
[Hayate walks towards the front door, but the phone rings. He answers it]
Hayate
Hello, Room 406.
Caller
Is there a Miss Doper there? Last name; Tunity?
Hayate
Doper Tunity? *looks around the room* Doper Tunity! Is there a Miss Doper Tunity here?!
Caller
Hahahahahahahaha!
Hayate
Wait-a-minute! It's you isn't it, ya little dick! If I getta hold o' you, I'm gonna saw your legs off with a chainsaw and let you bleed out of your ass for several days without food!
Caller
Don't have a cow, man!
Hayate
*putting the phone down* Argh! What a crappy day!
Tengu
Oooh, Hayate, get the popcorn! It's almost time for our favourite TV show... The Simpsons!
Hayate
Excellent!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DOA2: D'oh or Alive
[Tengu and Hayate are sat inside their apartment watching TV. "The Simpsons" (Episode AABF06: Vivi Ned Flanders) is on]
Flanders
How do you do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says, "Think?"
Homer
You mean Lisa?
Flanders
Oh no, I mean common sense!
Homer
Oh, that. That can be treated with our good friend alcohol. You might want to write that down.
[Tengu begins squirming about on the couch]
Tengu
Why are they yellow?
Hayate
Why are who yellow?
Tengu
The Simpsons; why are they yellow?
Hayate
*groans* I don't know!
Tengu
Oh.
[They continue to watch the programme. After a few moments, Tengu starts squirming again]
Hayate
Oh, God! What now?!
Tengu
If Flanders is supossed to be 60-years-old, then how come in Episode 4F07, Hurricane Neddy, his childhood therapist said that-
Hayate
Look! I don't know, alright! Just shut up and lemme watch the damn show!
Tengu
...
Hayate
Thank you!
[Tengu gets off the couch and wanders off into the kitchen]
Hayate
Bliss! *lies back* Ah!
[Suddenly, the doorbell rings]
Tengu
*walking into the room* I'll get it!
[He opens the door. The Simpsons are standing outside]
Marge
Uh, hi, my name is Marge Simpson. Sorry to bother you, but could you tell us where Room 407 is?
Tengu
Oh my God! It's the Simpsons!
Hayate
*running to the door* Holy crap on a stick! How ya doing, folks?!
Homer
Marge, I need to use the bathroom.
Marge
Oh, for Godsake Homer, just wait until we get to our room.
Hayate
Your room?
Marge
Yes, thats right. We're moving in.
Tengu
Wow! The Simpsons are moving into our apartment! This is fabulous!
Bart
Woah, man! Look at the size of that guy's nose!
Maggie
*suck, suck*
Lisa
Ew, and I thought Mr. Burns had a big nose!
Tengu
Hey! Make 'em stop!
Homer
Bart! Lisa! Don't be so mean to the freakin' freak!
Tengu
Hey!
Marge
Homer! Please!
Homer
Sorry, Marge.
Marge
I'm awfully sorry about this.
Hayate
That's okay. Did you say that you were looking for Room 407?
Marge
Yeah, is it on this floor?
Hayate
Actually, its just next door. This is Room 406.
Marge
Oh.
Hayate
Look's like we're neighbours!
Homer
D'oh!
Hayate
Woohoo!
Bender
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Tengu
Huh? Where'd that come from?
[Everyone looks around]
Tengu
Eh, nevermind.
[Later that day... In the Simpsons new apartment]
Homer
Marge, I can't find my pants.
Marge
Homer, you're wearing them.
Homer
Oooh, oh yeah! *sighs*
Marge
Aw, what's the matter, Homie?
Homer
I guess I'm feeling a bit homesick. Why'd we have to leave Springfield anyway?
Marge
Because we wanted to start a new life here in Boston, remember?
Homer
Oh yeah, plus they fired me from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and swore I'd never work in that town again. Damn bastards!
Marge
Yeah...
Homer
Well, I'm going out to Moe's for a beer.
Marge
*clears her throat* Um, Homer... Boston?
Homer
D'oh!
[Just then, the door knocks. Marge answers it. Hayate is standing outside]
Marge
Oh, hello. You're that nice man from next door, right?
Hayate
Yes, I was just passing, and I thought I'd invite you all round to dinner tomorrow night. That is, if you're not too busy or anything.
Marge
Sure, we'd love to come. Right, Homie?
Homer
*groans* Do we have to?
Hayate
Then I'll set five extra places at the table tomorrow. G'night, Mrs. Simpson.
Marge
Good night. *shuts the door* What a polite young man.
[The following night... Hayate and Tengu are sat at the dinner table. The doorbell rings and Hayate gets up to answer it]
Hayate
That'll be them. Okay, make sure you behave properly tonight Tengu. We don't want a repeat of what happened during that party last February.
Tengu
Hey, do you have to bring that incident into every conversation we have?!
[Hayate opens the door. The Simpsons are there]
Marge
Good evening! We're not too early, are we?
Hayate
No, of course not! Come in!
Homer
*walks in* Geez, what smells?!
Bart
Your feet!
Homer
*strangles Bart* Why you little...!
Hayate
I hope you're all hungry, cause we're having pork chops!
Homer
*letting go of Bart* Mmmm... porkchops! *he sits at the dinner table with Tengu* Ergh, does your ugly pet here haveta eat with us?
Tengu
Ugly?! Pet?! I am so disgusted!
Hayate
Silence, Fido! *laughs* It's okay, he won't bite.
Tengu
Wha?!
Hayate
I'll just go get the food. *walks off into the kitchen*
Bart
Dad, can I give Milhouse a call later?
Homer
Why?
Bart
Cause he's my best friend. I gotta know what's going on back in Springfield.
Homer
You don't need that four eyed jerk now, boy. You can make new friends!
Bart
Aw! *looks at Tengu* Hey, Concord, are there any kids living in this apartment?
Tengu
I 'unno.
Bart
Well, do you and your husband have any kids of your own?
Tengu
Husband?!
Hayate
*walking in with a tray of food* Grubs up! *hands out the food*
[The Simpsons start devouring their food very quickly. Hayate and Tengu look on in amazement]
Tengu
Do these people have no manners?! We're supposed to say grace first!
Maggie
*suck, suck*
Hayate
*eating slowly* So, how do you folks like Boston?
Homer
*eating* Can't talk! Eating!
[Later that evening]
Marge
Well, that was very nice. But we really oughta be getting back.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
Marge
We should do it again sometime.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
Homer
But next time, put the brown fatso to bed early.
Hayate
Oh, yeah! Certainly!
[The Simpsons leave. Hayate walks back into the kitchen where Tengu is sitting]
Hayate
That went rather well, don't you think?
Tengu
It sucked ass! I hate that little brat!
Hayate
Bart... His name was Bart.
Tengu
*frowns* I'm going to bed!
[The next morning, Hayate opens the front door of his apartment to see the Simpsons with a load of suitcases]
Hayate
Going on vacation already? Heh, have a good one!
Marge
Uh, actually, we're moving out.
Hayate
What?! You had enough already?!
Homer
Place sucks... People suck...
Marge
Boston just isn't for us. We're going back to Springfield.
Hayate
But I thought there was nothing left for you in Springfield anymore. What changed?
Marge
My little boy Bart here gave his friend a call last night. It seems that Mr. Burns has died, and so Mr. Smithers has taken over the power plant. He's hiring new employees, so Homer is gonna change his identity and try to apply for a job as safety inspector.
Homer
*smiles* I got the idea when I noticed the oven was hot!
Hayate
I sure am gonna miss you guys. You'll stay in touch, right?
Marge
...Sure.
[The Simpsons walk off down the corridor]
Homer
Man, that guy was worse than Flanders!
Hayate
*sighs* Oh, well... *walks back inside his apartment* Tengu, you up yet?
Tengu
*walks into the living room* Was that the Simpsons that I just heard?
Hayate
Yeah, they're going back home.
Tengu
*grins* Yippee! *looks at Hayate* I mean, oh, how sad.
Hayate
*sighs* I'm going out for a walk.
[Hayate walks towards the front door, but the phone rings. He answers it]
Hayate
Hello, Room 406.
Caller
Is there a Miss Doper there? Last name; Tunity?
Hayate
Doper Tunity? *looks around the room* Doper Tunity! Is there a Miss Doper Tunity here?!
Caller
Hahahahahahahaha!
Hayate
Wait-a-minute! It's you isn't it, ya little dick! If I getta hold o' you, I'm gonna saw your legs off with a chainsaw and let you bleed out of your ass for several days without food!
Caller
Don't have a cow, man!
Hayate
*putting the phone down* Argh! What a crappy day!
Tengu
Oooh, Hayate, get the popcorn! It's almost time for our favourite TV show... The Simpsons!
Hayate
Excellent!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~