Part 12
Xander could no longer hold his emotions in check and launched himself at the former vampire. The quickness of the move caught Angel off guard and he had no time to recover before Xander's blow knocked both of them to the ground. Xander was the first to recover more from the fact he was on top, then any great skill, and grabbed Angel's shirt in one fist. Screwing down on the grip he pushed his fist up against the underside of Angel's chin, forcing the lips tightly shut.
"You have no right to lecture me about my feelings for Buffy, you bastard," Xander shouted, his fist pushing harder on the throat of his victim.
"Xander," Cordelia warned from behind him.
He was about to turn around and tell Cordelia to leave it alone, when he noticed, exactly what, she was alerting him too. He followed her gaze and saw that Wesley had moved over, checking to see how Dawn was after her confrontation. That one glance, Xander did, was enough to know she wasn't okay.
He immediately let go of Angel and got up to help her. Whatever anger he had, while still inside him, fell into little importance once he knew Dawn needed him. He reached out his hand and grasped hers.
"Dawn," he said a little worried.
The feel of Xander's hand and his voice seemed to wake Dawn out of her thoughts, but she didn't respond. Xander was going to speak to her again, when she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Although Xander enjoyed any occasion she did that, he was still concerned at her continued silence.
"What's wrong?" Xander whispered to her, his mouth just above her ear.
Dawn heard Xander ask again, but didn't respond. Not that she couldn't, or that she didn't want to. It was simply that she didn't know how to say what she was thinking. And she definitely didn't want to discuss her fears and worried in front of others, no matter how much she cared for them. When she made eye contact with Xander, she motioned to the stairs, hoping he would get the message.
Xander was about to try again, when he noticed Dawn's eyes talking to him. Maybe talk wasn't the right word, but Xander understood everything they were conveying. He nodded to her, and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be up in a second."
Dawn started to move up the stairs, but didn't let go of Xander's hand, holding it to the last moment, when she either had to let go, or drag him up with her.
Xander watched her walk up the stairs, making sure she was okay, and when he could see her no more, he turned to tell Wesley that what he would be doing. When he did however he noticed that not only had Angel disappeared, but Cordelia as well. Wesley was over at the front doorway looking out into the front yard.
"Wes, where's .."
"She outside, giving Angel a piece of her mind," Wesley answered not needing Angel to spell out exactly what he was going to ask. Although he was a little concerned, he also took great pride in seeing Cordelia stand up to Angel.
Xander laid a hand on Wesley's shoulder. "I'll be upstairs," he simply said, walking off when Wesley acknowledged his words.
Wesley stayed at the doorway. Full of admiration he may be, but his inner being would not allow Cordelia to be out of sight, with an unstable Angel next to her.
**************
While Dawn, Xander and Wesley seemed to be pre-occupied with their own problems, Angel thought that it would be an ideal time to get out. Not out of Sunnydale. If he had his way he would never leave again. At least not in this time stream. But that would be for tomorrow. He had just stepped off the bottom step when he realised his departure had not been as stealthy as he had hoped.
"Where do you think you're going?" Cordelia called to him, the words not hiding her anger at what he had said inside.
Angel sighed and turned around. "I didn't feel like joining in with the Xander Harris support-a-thon that would be occurring inside."
Angel's attitude, not lessening Cordelia's anger at all, gave her all the impetus to walk the few steps to where he was and get right in his face. "What's happened to you?" She wanted answers and if she had any say in it, Angel wouldn't be leaving till he started to sing.
Angel, however, was in no mood for conversation, either friendly of non. "It's been over five years, close to six, Cordelia. You don't know me anymore." And for Angel that was the end of it. He turned around and walked off, not expecting anyone to follow him.
He was wrong. Something he found out just seconds later, when a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him back.
"Don't touch me," he yelled at Cordelia.
Cordelia's mood hadn't changed, although she started to feel hurt every time Angel's obvious disdain for her feelings shone through. "You were like a brother to me. Do you hate me know? Is that it? Did those years we worked together mean nothing to you?"
Angel's first instinct was to say 'yes' and leave. He didn't want to get into any of this. Not now and not here. But there was something in Cordelia's tone that reached a long since buried part of his heart. The years spent with Angel investigations was the happiest of his souled, undead life, Even counting for the couple of times he went off the rail, it was a happy time. It was why he had returned to LA less than a week ago.
"They mean something," he replied, just the barest of feelings present in his voice.
Cordelia took a breath and thanked whomever for the small part of her Angel she still saw in those words. "Tell me what happened?"
Angel shook his head. He couldn't understand why it was so important to her. Surely the fact that he could send Xander back in time and make everything right was so much more important than any history lesson. "I have new priorities," was his simple explanation.
Cordelia was about to scoff at his answer when some of Angel's actions didn't quite add up in her head. "Hang on. Why were you in LA, if it is unimportant?" When Angel didn't answer she continued. "You had no idea that Xander was alive and yet you still came and saw me. Why?"
Angel attempted to shrug it off. "I was back in the area and thought I would drop in and say hello."
Cordelia didn't buy one word of it. "So you need to convince me that you're an asshole, that much. Congrats, you're almost there."
"Good. Then leave me alone," Angel replied shaking off Cordelia's arm and moving away.
Cordelia however wasn't going to give up that easy. She was ready for his attempted exit and grabbed his arm again. This time however she wasn't going to wait for Angel's verbal barrage. As he turned around she slapped him hard across the face.
"Happy?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. "I came out her to talk to you, but you've made it clear you don't want to do that. So here is a new choice. Talk to me now, or never come near any of us again."
Angel was tempted to just walk away, but there was a little bit inside that remembered the Angel Investigations days with fondness. And more importantly there was another part of him that thought that it would be best to have Cordelia on his side. He still had to get Xander to go back in time, and he might need some extra help.
He just slumped to the ground, sitting cross-legged, and waited for Cordelia to join him. When she did, he started at the only point he knew.
"Don't you think Xander should go back?"
"Not if he doesn't want to, no."
"You never really liked Buffy did you?' Angel spat at her, his change in attitude immediate.
"My god, if this is how you want to explain things to me, I think I'll leave," Cordelia relied, startled and a little hurt and Angel's bile.
"Cordy, wait,' Angel said, not wanting her to leave like this. "I'm sorry. I just get a little angry when Buffy seems to be forgotten."
"Forgotten?" Cordelia replied, a little offended by the suggestion. "We may not spend every day thinking about her, Angel, but we've never forgotten her. I know Xander still has nightmares about her dying, cause Dawn told me, and if you think that Dawn has ever forgotten Buffy, you are seriously wrong."
"And yet they both want to keep their nice cozy house situation instead of helping her."
Cordelia sighed. Angel, at least the Angel she knew and loved seemed to be missing from the human form in front of her. Something had changed in the last five years and it seemed to have taken her friend when it did.
"If you can't understand why, then maybe you haven't learnt what being a human again is?" she told him, sadly.
"And what a great gift it was!" Angel shouted out. "Do you think it was worth it? My gift."
"It was what you wanted," Cordelia replied remembering what he had said many years past.
"What I wanted was to live my life with Buffy, Cordelia."
"I know," Cordelia said, remembering those first few days after Buffy's death and Angel's transformation. "And it didn't happen. You need to move on. We're still here."
"No, I need to get Buffy back," Angel stated again, before getting up and walking away. He tired of going over the same argument. If he couldn't make them see his way by talking to them, there was other ways.
************
"Are you okay," Xander asked, as he opened the door to their bedroom and walked straight over to where Dawn was sitting on the bed. When he got there he knelt on the floor, and reached up with is hand, lightly caressing her cheek.
"I'm okay," she replied softly, before leaning over and kissing him passionately.
Xander was surprised by her move, but no less enjoyed it. But he knew that it was putting of them talking about what had happened. Breaking the kiss, he looked at those eyes that he had constantly lost himself in. The warmth they conveyed filed his heart with the feeling of just how deep her love for him was. Any other time and he could have easily lost himself in them again.
He was no longer surprised at how much he felt this was his home. In his first two months back in Sunnydale, he was constantly thinking of the past, feeling out of place and generally mourning for lost friends. But a few months ago it all changed. It was then that he acknowledged what he was feeling for Dawn. It was then that they fell in love and he now felt more secure than any other time in his life. He was home and he never wanted to leave.
"Do you think he was telling the truth?" Dawn asked, breaking the silence.
"About going back in time?"
"Yeah."
Xander could here the worry in her voice, but had no definite answer for her. "He could be."
"So.." Dawn started not really wanting to have the answer to the question she needed to pose.
"So..." Xander prompted.
"Would you go back?"
"Not on just his say so, no" Xander answered truthfully.
"What if Wesley confirmed it?" Dawn asked, further pushing Xander for an answer.
"I'm not sure." Xander grasped her hands in his, feeling both his hurt at the thought of leaving and sensing what it was doing to Dawn.
Dawn felt her heart tug. She feared that he would have that response. She always felt that Xander would jump at the chance to save Buffy, not to mention all others. But, and she knew it was selfish, she wanted his priority to be her.
"I don't want you to go," she stated clearly.
"I'm not going anywhere," Xander replied.
"But you're considering it?"
"I think we have to. Don't we?" Xander asked, thinking it was the least he could do.
"I don't want to consider it." Dawn wrapped her arms around Xander again, and whispered in his ear. "I love you and I don't want to lose you."
Xander knew that Dawn was looking for a definitive answer, but he had none at that moment. All he knew was what his heart was saying.
"I don't want to lose you either."
End Part 12