Day 2 of treatment:
James awoke to the worst pain he had ever imagined. Worse than the thoughts of torture and Casablanca combined. He sat up, and put a hand on his abdomen. It was as if there was something drilling a hole in his pancreas. He groaned, and this woke Lily up.
"Wha...?" she yawned. James felt as if he was dying very slowly and painfully.
"I think I'm dying, very slowly and painfully," he said. Lily sleepily quirked her eyebrows.
"What's wrong?" Yawn.
"It's like a stomachache, but worse, and lower down. Kind of a dull ache--"
"Cramps," she interrupted, muttering into the pillows. James frowned.
"What about them?" Lily laughed sleepily, her eyes still closed.
"You have them. Congratulations. You're officially a real woman now, James. Now go back to sleep."
James stuck out his lower lip. "I can't."
Lily muttered something about Tylenol, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
What the hell, James decided. I'm not sleeping anyway. He stole away to the bathroom, closed the door, then felt around for the light. He opened the medicine cabinet. And he had the shock of his life.
There was no aspirin. There was no Tylenol. There was nothing. Slowly, he sunk to his knees on the shag carpet in front of the sink, and rested his forehead against the cool porcelain of the counter.
How am I ever going to get through this? He thought in desperation.
* * * * * * * * * *
Lily awoke peacefully with the sun half and hour later and calmly stretched out her arms and legs. But there was no James.
"James?" She asked, puzzled. A low groan issued from the bathroom. She got up, put on his glasses, and strode over to see what was the matter. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed.
"I'm dying, I tell you." He was still resting with his head against the counter. "My will is in the middle drawer of the desk in the study, you'll find I've provided well..."
Lily stared at him blankly.
"Why are you in here, hunched under the sink?" James opened his eyes, and glared at her out of his peripheral vision.
"I... have... cramps. They hurt like hell. I am in... ow!" He winced in pain, and Lily went over to him and put her arm around his shoulders.
"Let's get you some Tylenol."
James shook his head. "There is none. I checked."
Lily frowned. "Funny, I bought a full box last month. Are you sure?"
James nodded. "Yes. There was nothing in the bathroom medicine cabinet."
"That would be your first problem, then." She slowly stood him up, and, step-by-step, they descended the stairs and went into the kitchen.
"What do you mean? First problem?" he asked.
"They're not in the bathroom."
This made no sense to poor James, who vacantly stared at her with Lily's green eyes.
"Why wouldn't they be in the bathroom in the MEDICINE cabinet?"
Lily looked at him pointedly. "Because I put them in the kitchen cupboard."
"That's insane."
"I thought you knew!"
"You never told me!" James' face was beginning to flush red.
"Yes, I did," Lily said calmly. I told you in bed last Monday, and you nodded!" James broke into a grin.
"Ahhhhhh. That explains a lot."
"Say what?"
"Take this morning, when I told you I had cramps. You nodded, and went back to sleep."
"You did?" Lily stared at him incredulously.
"Yes. Dammit, I forgot that I talk in my sleep-ah!" Another cramp seized him. Lily reached into the cupboard, and unearthed a box of Tylenol, and some aspirin.
"Pick your poison," she said.
James made a mad grab for the extra-strength Tylenol, ripped 2 pills from their foil wrapping, and popped them into his mouth.
"You are a lifesaver," he said, graciously, after drinking the glass of water Lily had insisted on giving him.
"I try my best," Lily said, looking out the window. "Any plans for today?"
"Run into the Ministry, head back to Sirius', and help him with his bike. Maybe play a little Quidditch."
"Hmmph."
James looked up at her. "What?"
"Do you ever go to work?"
James shrugged. "Sometimes. Only when they need me, and besides, I have the week off. I plan ahead." He nodded smugly. "What are your plans?"
"Grocery shopping, and I said that I'd meet Penelope in Ravenclaw Dell to look for wedding gowns later. No Lucy."
"Joy." James looked into the water for a bit, and stared back at his own reflection. Not his own, rather, than his wife's. A sudden thought struck him. "Lil."
"Hmm? What?" Lily was busy awaiting the speck of an owl that was rapidly approaching the window.
"Do you think this is actually working? This therapy and all?" Lily looked out the window as she thought.
"Well, it's kept us from actually fighting, hasn't it?"
James was silent. "It has, hasn't it?" The owl alighted on the windowsill, and Lily opened the window. It was a snowy white owl, with huge brown eyes. Tied to it's leg was a gold accented parchment, bearing the stamp of Dr. Renee Jigger.
"Ugh. You take it." Lily handed the letter to James, who ripped open the parchment.
"To my most valued customers," James read. Lily snorted.
"This is just a friendly reminder of your next appointment, tomorrow at 12:30 PM, to check up on your therapy. Have a nice day!
The Offices of Dr. Renee Jigger,
Family therapist and marriage counselor."
James shook his head, and Lily went back upstairs to get ready for the upcoming day.
* * * * * * * * * *
The grocery shopping was the easy part, it turned out, as James walked through the aisles of the local Muggle supermarket tightly clutching Lily's shopping list. Well, easy except for reading the list itself, which Lily had hurriedly scribbled on her way out the door to meet Sirius.
Bread was self explanatory, as was milk. And the dozen eggs. He just had to wonder at the beers, though. Lily never drank beer, no matter how many times Sirius had tried to tempt her.
"Um, excuse me," James said, stopping an elderly woman slowly pushing a shopping cart full of cat food down the frozen foods aisle. "What does this say?" He asked, pushing the list into the woman's hands and pointing at beer.
The woman squinted at the list for a few seconds, and handed it back to him with a disgusted look on her face. "It says beets. Now go away, young lady, and stop tormenting the elderly!" She turned on her heel and began to push her cart in the opposite direction.
"But--" James exclaimed. "I didn't mean--"
"I have pepper spray!" The lady yelled behind her. The entire frozen foods aisle was staring at James incredulously. He sighed, and began to go in search of the next item on the list. He wasn't too thrilled about the economy sized package of maxi pads that attracted the attention of everyone in the aisle, who felt instantly compelled to stare at him as he walked by. Then he had to wonder why Lily needed Petroleum Jelly. James had a headache, he felt bloated, and he most certainly didn't want to be in the middle of a grocery store with a badly written shopping list and enough feminine hygiene products to last through a nuclear holocaust. Luckily, there were only a few more items to buy.
Pasta for Sirius and Lucy dinner party
James groaned. Hopefully, he'd be back to being James again and he'd be able to escape with Sirius out to the shed and hide from the womenfolk.
Whipped cream was in dairy, which he had already gone into to get the milk. Why couldn't she have listed these things according to food group? He thought irately.
Confetti was just odd. He had no idea why she wanted that. Maybe for the dinner party.
Cucumbers?
And, finally, was the old stand-by: batteries. He had put those on the list. Hopefully, they hadn't been sitting on the shelf for 5 years.
The wait in the line wasn't too bad, though his assortment of items was gaining him quite a few embarrassed stares and chuckles. The teenage boy behind the register's eyes bugged out when he saw the cart, and his furious blush made the blooming pimples on his cheeks stand out. He glanced at James through his taped-up eyeglasses.
"Maxi Pads... bread, milk, cucumbers, whipped cream, beer, batteries..."
"Are those batteries new? I need to use them tonight," James asked, reaching into Lily's purse. The cashier giggled, and nervously twisted his nametag, which bore the name Shredder.
"The Petroleum Jelly isn't scanning…" Shredder muttered, rolling his eyes as he reached for the microphone near the cash register and tapped it a few times. "Register 4 needs a price check on Petroleum Jelly. I repeat, price check on Petroleum Jelly for Register 4…" he put the microphone back, and looked p at James.
"Wild party?" he asked, bagging rest the groceries up. "Paper or plastic?"
"Only by myself," James answered absentmindedly. "Double bagged plastic." The cashier turned even redder and giggled some more as he handed him his groceries and gave him a wide grin, accentuated by shiny metal braces. A manager came over, and typed a few things into the cash register while Shredder stood off to the side. The line behind James was beginning to get very long, and consequently very ugly, and loud grumbling was issuing from behind.
"Did you keep the rest of the receipt?" The manager asked. Shredder nodded.
"Yeah, its right there. The one with the Cucumbers and batteries." The manager blinked and raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Finally, the receipt printed out, and the manager handed it to James.
"That'll be $30.58, please," he said, avoiding James' eyes. James took out Lily's changepurse and fished out the money, handing it to him. He then hoisted up the bags, and made his way out the supermarket.
"Have fun and thanks for shopping at Zappy Fast Groceries!" Shredder called out to him as the double automatic doors slid closed.
* * * * * * * * * *
An hour later…
Penelope was found nervously stirring a cup of coffee under one of cafe umbrellas in one of the restaurants, which was part of the random collection of shops and restaurants in the center of Ravenclaw Dell. James walked up to her and smiled, dropping his purse on the table and sitting down.
"Hey," he asked. "How are you?"
"Oh, fine," Penelope muttered to her coffee. "Wonderful, in fact. I daresay this is the worst day I've had in a while."
James frowned, and looked around for a waiter. "What's up?"
"Remus and I had an argument, that Lizzy Bristol woman is wreaking havoc at work, and I have a migraine to beat all migraines."
"Oh." The waiter, sensing that James needed him, ran off in the other direction to chat with a line of waiters and waitresses who were milling around the hostess' stand gossiping about the customers. He looked over at Penelope, who was a bit red in the face, and whose hands were shaking. "Jesus, was it that bad?"
"I suppose." Short and to the point. James vaguely remembered Lily saying something about Penelope when she was in a bad mood. Like "reluctance to speak" or something like that.
"About what?"
Penelope fixed her bright blue stare on him, and he could see that she had been crying earlier. "About his stupid werewolf thing. He's so fixated on it, that he can't concentrate on anything else. And he lets it rule his thoughts and life. I mean--" her voice was rising, and she noticed this, and quieted down somewhat. "I mean, last night was the night after the full moon, and that was all he kept fixating on. We were being-- oh, dear."
"Being what?" James prodded. Lily probably knows all about this already, he thought.
"Well..." Penelope began. "It's not very polite to talk about."
"No, do go on."
"Well, we were being, you know, intimate."
James blushed. "Ah. Right. Go on."
"Well, the night of the full moon, he accidentally bit me. Of course, it can't do anything to me because of my blood (AN: see "Angel in the Snow"), but all he kept focusing on was the night before. Of course I'm okay. But he was so scared to do anything."
James laughed, gaining a strange look from Penelope. "Remus scared? In b-- er, that type situation?"
Penny was eyeing him oddly. "It's entirely possible. What's with you?"
"I had a horrid time at the grocery store an hour ago. But anyway… Remus has done that? I never thought. Huh." He grinned.
"It was the, er, first time." Penny grinned back nervously.
"Oh dear," James began. "I don't know whether to be happy or to scold you."
"Lily!"
James checked his watch. "Oh, geez. I think we had better get going. The waiters are getting antsy for their tip."
"Right." Penelope stood up, smoothed out her skirt, and collected her belongings together. James grinned at her, and lightly touched her arm.
"Tell me one thing, though."
"What?"
"Was it any good?" Penelope laughed.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Remus, the wrench."
"Huh?" Sirius looked at him strangely as Lily walked around Sirius' garage aimlessly. Sirius had dismissed her after asking for the same tool six times and having Lily not knowing what she was doing. Instead, he had recruited Remus, who seemed strangely distracted and nervous.
"Remus, what's with you today? You're a wreck," Sirius remarked, looking at his friend with concern in his eyes.
Remus snapped his head up, and looked at Sirius, startled. "I am not. I just have a lot on my mind."
"Hmmph." Sirius turned to Lily, who was busy staring at a stack of biker magazines with scantily clad witches on them, who kept winking at her. "James, could you get me a beer?"
"Yeah, and me too," Remus called out. Sirius gave Remus an odd look.
"Remus, you don't drink."
"Well, there's a first time for everything." Remus' grey eyes were cast down, and he avoided looking Sirius in the face.
Lily looked into the refrigerator and wrinkled her nose. There were 6 12-packs of beer inside, with the occasional package of Twinkies and a few stray cans of Tab Cola. No wonder Penelope refused to set foot down here, what with the girlie magazines and the food. She gingerly picked up a 12-pack, and tossed a can to Remus, who opened it and immediately took a big swig of beer.
"Damn, Remus," Sirius remarked, laying down his tools and taking a can from Lily. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you got laid or something."
"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.
Remus spit out his mouthful of beer. "Say-- say what?"
A slow smile was spreading on Sirius' face. "In fact… let's say I don't know any better. There's something old Remus here isn't telling us."
"I... uh..." Remus hung his head, blushing. Sirius let out a whoop of excitement.
"Jamsie, you owe me 20 Galleons!"
Lily was taken aback. "I do?"
Remus, however, seemed shocked as he lifted his head and stared at Sirius in utter disbelief. "You all were betting on my sex life?"
"Well, yeah." Sirius shrugged. "And don't forget, you owe Lucy 10. She bet, too."
Lily suppressed a grin. James had never told her this. Remus took another long draft of beer, and settled back with that slightly horrified look still on his face. Lily decided to have some fun.
"So how was it?" she asked.
"I-- don't really have much to compare to," Remus admitted, frankly.
"Well, did you enjoy yourself?" Sirius asked.
"Who wouldn't?"
"Good point. I remember my first time with Lucy. Like a minx, I tell you."
"Sirius!"
"She was! I swear... that hair… those eyes..."
"Yeah, I'm sure that was it," Remus said sarcastically. "The hair,"
"The rest is just an added bonus." Sirius turned to James. "So how is Lily?"
Lily's eyes widened, and she blushed. "She's... fine."
"You know what I mean, Jamsie."
"No, I don't." Actually, she thought, I do, but Sirius doesn't have to know that. Sirius slapped his forehead.
"Is everyone weirded out today? Remus gets some and the world stops."
"Hey now!" Remus exclaimed, throwing a stray girlie magazine at Sirius.
Lily shook her head. Men.
* * * * * * * * * *
The woman at the bridal shop ("Witchy Wendy's Wholesale Wedding Wear") looked like a cross between Olivia Newton-John and Michael Jackson, and was wearing a set of wedding robes is an electric hot pink, studded with rhinestones. She was chewing gum noisily when Penelope and James walked in, and she smiled falsely, her gum smacking along in an unstopped rhythm.
"Can I help ya, dearies?"
"Yeah," Penny began absentmindedly. "I need to order some robes for a wedding."
"Are you the bride or an attendant, honey?"
"The bride."
"Right-o. Lemme grab my wand and I'll be right back." The clerk walked into a stockroom that had been hidden by a series of glamers that made it appear to hold some very expensive looking antique dresses.
James turned to Penny. "Are you sure this is the right store to be looking in? Madame Malkin's is a lot more reliable."
"I hear from Lucy that this has a wider selection."
"Oh." James looked around. In the far corner was a teenage witch trying on a spandex set of robes with a lacy cape and bright blue sleeves. A very obese woman was looking at casualwear, and, just coming from a dressing room, was Lucy Graham herself. She smiled, flipping back her shoulder-length, dark hair and walked over to them.
"Hey guys! I didn't expect to see you here!" James groaned inwardly, and Penelope smiled.
"I thought you were at work! What brings you to this end of town?"
"Oh, I work over near here, not more than 10 miles away." She held up a pink and purple flowered monstrosity with puffed sleeves and a long, crepe-y skirt. "I was just picking up a dress for your wedding, as a matter of fact. Do you like it?"
Penelope turned to James, whose eyes were bugging out at the brightly colored piece of cloth. "Oh, yes. Very much so. Lily?"
"I'm sure... It will look lovely."
Lucy grinned, showing even white teeth. "Thanks! Well, I have to get going. Just call me when you want another night with the girls and we'll set something up! I have to be getting back to work." She walked over to the register, and pulled out her wallet.
James turned to Penny. "Lucy has a job?" he whispered.
"Yeah, but she won't tell any of us what it is. You know, she could be so pretty if only she tried to look a little more... what's the word..."
"Normal?'' James offered.
"Yeah, that's it. I mean, look at her. She's gorgeous."
Well… If I wasn't currently a woman and married... James thought. Oh my God, I never thought I'd ever say that. About Lucy, no less. He glanced momentarily at Lucille Graham, who was taking out her Gringott's Platinum Card and handing it to another woman behind the counter, who was trying to read her name.
"Lucille Seeta Jaymita Graham? What kind of name is Seeta Jaymita?"
"See-tah Ja-meet-a," Lucy said, calmly. "It's Indian."
"Oh," the woman said, as she processed her credit card. Lucy stood very petite, smaller than both Lily and especially Penelope, but she stood out more than both of them. Her hair was a very shiny black-brown, and her skin was a dusky tan color. But the most startling part was her glittering golden-hazel eyes. Although she was built well, she had a knack for dressing... oddly. At the moment, she stood in front of the Saleswoman wearing shiny black boots, a black miniskirt, a bright blue plaid cummerbund and matching bow tie, and a tuxedo shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Plus Sirius' leather jacket. Very... original.
"Er, I don't think this is quite my style," Penny was saying to the Olivia Newton-John Saleswoman, who had come out of the stockroom when James wasn't paying attention. "Maybe... I'll check in at a later date."
"Suit yourself, dearie," she said, slightly peevishly. Penny shot James a glance, and beckoned him over.
"Madame Malkin's in 15 minutes," she said, is a harsh whisper.
"You got it," James whispered back, and he apparated away.
* * * * * * * * * *
"You know something?" Lily said, taking a sip of her 3rd beer.
"No, but I know someone," Remus answered back, laughing at his own joke. Lily burst out laughing at it, too, and they sat there for a few minutes while the humor wore off.
"What?" Sirius asked sleepily from his seat on his bike.
"Men--" Lily held up the can "--are pigs!"
"Hear, hear!" Remus and Sirius shouted, also raising up their cans and pronouncing a toast to James' infinite wisdom.
"Which makes me glad that I'm not one!" Lily shouted, laughing along with the other.
Sirius blinked in a drunken stupor. "You're not a man, James?"
"Nope! For all you all (hic) know, I could be a woman in a man's body! (hic)"
"That's just... scary," Remus remarked. "I'm moving (hic) away now."
"James, I think you've had a dittle loo much to (hic) think," Sirius said, as he plucked the drink out of Lily's hand. The room was silent for a while, except for the sound of the occasional hiccup and the hum of the heater.
"Is anybody else bored?" Sirius asked after about 15 minutes of silence. Remus had halfway dozed off and Lily was staring at the patterns the lights made on the ceiling.
"Yeah," Remus said, opening his eyes. "But there's nothing to do."
"We could go to the Mall," Sirius suggested. Remus snorted.
"Gods no, I'm never setting foot in there. I want to do something exciting."
"Hmm…" Sirius thought to himself for a moment. "I don't know what. Nothing's open." At that moment, Lily was struck by a brilliant idea.
"Let's play Quidditch!" Lily suggested.
* * * * * * * * * *
"32, 26, 34," Madame Malkin said to herself as she took the magical measuring tapes off of Penelope and began fitting them to James. "A bit on the thin side, I see. And let's see what you say." She peered through her spectacles at the measuring tape around James' bust and squinted. "Does that say 34 or 36, dearie?"
"34 I think," James said, slightly uncomfortable at being prodded by Madame Malkin. The old lady nodded, and snapped up the tape.
"Any colors you have in mind? White, ivory, cream? I daresay cream would do you best, with your coloring."
"Cream is fine," Penelope said, as Madame Malkin popped into the back room and as she looked around the interior of Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, fine robe retailers since 1555. "Go pick out a set of robes you like, Lil. We'll make 'em the bridesmaid's robes."
"Who are your bridesmaids?"
Penelope frowned. "Well, there's you and Lucy. Damn! I forgot to tell her before she bought those other robes!"
"Lucy?!" James nearly yelled. Madame Malkin poked her head out of the backroom, brows wrinkled.
"Is everything all right?"
"Oh, yes," James called. "Lovely!"
"Smashing," Madame Malkin said, disappearing into the stockroom again. "Just call if you need me."
"Lily, you haven't been acting like yourself lately!" Penny exclaimed.
"Well, it's that time of the month again."
"But I don't think that would cause you to act--Oh, look, there are the robes now!"
"Actually, no," Madame Malkin explained, as she dumped the stacks of material onto a nearby stool, holding onto a bolt of luminous cream colored satin which she held up to Penny. James hurried towards the racks of ready-made robes, and closed his eyes, blindly picking out the first thing his hands met.
I'm a man, we don't go dress shopping, he repeated to himself over and over as his hands caught something and he pulled it out. It was a robe of steely grey fabric that felt like tweed, which he put back. He decided for another shot. Plunging his hand into the rack, he pulled out something that felt silky and cool. He pulled it out, and in his hands was an apple green silk set of robes. He smiled.
"Huh."
"What?" Penelope called out to him as she tried to keep still for Madame Malkin, who was magically altering the luminous cream satin around her.
"I found something."
"Good for you. Let's out with it." James stepped out from behind the rack, and held out the green robes. Penny grinned, then frowned. "They're really pretty, but I'm afraid not."
"Why not?" Madame Malkin muttered through a mouthful of pins.
"Well, what do you think? Hold them up, Lil."
James held the robes against his body, and Madame Malkin squinted at him.
"Well, I don't see why not. They're green. Green looks wonderful on redheads. What does your other bridesmaid look like?"
"That's the problem. She's Indian."
"She is?" James asked.
"Of course, Lil, I thought you knew!" Penny responded. "How else would she have gotten the name Seeta Jaymita?"
"The same way Snape got the name Severus. I dunno."
Penny grinned at him. "Go find your dress."
Madame Malking was deep in thought. "You're right," she said, after a bit. "Apple green just wouldn't work. But try them on anyway. We can always change the color later."
James shrugged. No harm in trying. They were a very lightweight material, not quite silk but very much like it, with intricate beadwork on the sleeves and collar. The silver beading flashed in the light of the dressing room as he turned around to get a glimpse of his back.
They fit surprisingly well, and he came out and modeled them to the other women, who whistled catcalls.
"James will certainly get a kick out of those," Penelope laughed, as Madame Malkin. "Take a look at yourself."
"Wait, you said that your other bridesmaid was Indian?" Madame Malkin asked suddenly.
"Yes..." James said.
"Let me try something. I once knew an Indian woman, and she looked lovely like… this." Madame Malkin waved her wand around, and the robes turned from an apple green to a pale, pastel peach.
"Perfect!" Penelope gasped. "Get them! Get them now!"
"Are you sure...?" James asked slowly.
"Yes!" Penelope stepped back, and surveyed herself and James in the mirrored wall. "It's lovely. Really."
"Wow, Pen." Madame Malkin wasn't quite finished, but what she had done already was breathtaking. The satin had been arranged to drape across her shoulders, and to fall gracefully to the floor, with a series of buttons running down her back, and a few alterations that made the dress fitted around Penelope's curves. Maybe this shopping thing wasn't too boring, after all.
"Isn't it great? Remind me never to shop with Lucy ever again," Penelope said dryly. James laughed.
* * * * * * * * * *
"I'm sorry, guys, but I have to take you in."
"What?" Lily yelled, her mind numb with the 4 beers she had ended up drinking, the blaring of the Muggle officer's voice, and the fall from her broomstick. Sirius walked up beside her, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Officer, I swear that we were just having fun. We really weren't trying to cause any harm!"
"Oh, yeah," the cop began. "Just drinking all night and coming out onto private property with broomsticks for God knows what. Is that what you call harmless fun?"
"Well, yeah," Remus said, from behind them.
The Officer raised his eyes heavenward. "Right. Why did I have to get the crackpot shift tonight?" He said to himself as he shook his head at the three and motioned to the squad car. "In, the lot of you."
"But officer!" Lily protested.
"IN," he repeated forcefully, holding the door open. "I always get the drunk nuts on Saturday night."
"I'm not drunk," Remus said.
"Well I am. But I'm not nuts!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. "I'd appreciate it if you would differentiate..." The officer, who was paying no attention to Sirius' complaints, had climbed into the police car and taken out his radio.
"Yeah, Saul?" He was saying. "We've apprehended a group of drunks right outside of Godric's Hollow... what do you want me to do? Take them in? Well, I don't think... yeah, Saul. If you say so. No, Saul, pick up your own doughnuts. Right-o. 10-4."
"... and I'm an upstanding member of this community, I tell you," Sirius continued. "I'm always providing fun around the neighborhood, and making children smile all day."
"Sirius..." Remus warned, getting into the squad car.
"Well, it's true!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. The officer rolled his eyes.
"You're sitting up here, with me," he said to Sirius.
Lily leaned her head against the back of the squad car's seats and closed her eyes as the car pulled off. It was a hard day's night already.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Penny, I can't carry all of these!"
"Oh, nonsense, Lil. Here, let me have them." James dumped three of the larger bags into Penelope's arms, and, having lightened his load, panted a little for breath as he collapsed on Penelope's couch and turned on the TV. For some reason, Remus had an obsession for cooking shows lately, and a pretty witch was gesturing with her wand over to a bowl of shelled walnuts. He quickly changed the channel as Penelope turned on the living room lights.
"New, from Muggles, Inc., a game for the Muggle in all of us! Live out your life in the harsh reality without magic. Can you survive? Muggles and Magicless, the fantasy role-playing game for the future! Buy it now, from any of these fine retailers…"
"That'll never catch on," Penny said from behind the couch, where she was waiting patiently with the bags.
"I don't know," James said. "I would have liked it in my younger days." Oops.
Penelope raised her eyebrows, but said nothing as she swept upstairs with the bags. James followed after her, and watched as she threw the bags onto her bed, which was unmade and disheveled. Penelope blushed as she picked a pillow up off of the floor and threw it onto the bed.
"Sorry about this. I haven't found the time or the desire to make the bed yet."
"No, it's okay," James said. "I understand completely."
"Good," Penelope remarked. "At least somebody does. I feel so…" Penelope hung her head, and her strawberry blonde waves fell in front of her face. James awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder.
"What?" he asked softly. "Tired? Overwhelmed?"
"Stressed out," Penelope said, shaking back her hair and smiling slightly. "I love my job, don't get me wrong here, but Mad-Eye Moody can be something else completely. And I love Remus, but living with him and Sirius is like raising two rambunctious children."
"I know the feeling. It's not any easier being married to one of the Marauders," James said knowingly. He paused, trying to think of something else to say. "And that's just with James," he continued. "God only imagine what it's like to live with Sirius."
Penelope laughed, and threw herself onto the bed, finally settling on her back and looking up at the ceiling. James sat down next to her, moving one of the pillows littering the bed. It was white and had a moving pattern, of flying red birds.
"What's it like?" Penelope asked, closing her eyes. "Being married and all, I mean."
"Well…" James thought for a moment, as he bent down to smooth a wrinkle in Lily's robes out. "You're closer, when you're married. You learn a lot more about the person you're with. I remember Hogwarts, when I thought James and I were so close. That was only scratching the surface. And you get to know a lot about yourself, too." How true, he added as an afterthought.
"But it's nice, right?" Penelope asked. James nodded.
"I wouldn't give it up for the world," he added softly. The room was silent for a few seconds, and then the phone rang from downstairs. Penelope opened her eyes, and wrinkled her brows.
"Who on Earth would be calling here at this hour?" She wondered aloud as she sat up and flashed an apologetic look at James. "Sorry, Lil. I'll be right back." She hopped off of the bed, and down the stairs. The ringing stopped, and the murmur of Penelope's voice floated up the stairs.
Come to think of it, James thought, I've never been to this part of the house before. He had always restricted himself to the man-only area of the basement and the living room and kitchen, but this was the first view he had ever gotten of Remus' room ever since Hogwarts. The red bird pattern was very prevalent throughout the room, as was another theme of grey wolves. There was a moving picture of Remus and Penelope next to the bed, taken at James' own wedding. And then there were plants. Lots of plants, crowding the window—
"You did WHAT?!" James was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of Penelope's furious voice screaming at the phone in the kitchen. He jumped off the bed and ran downstairs, greeted by the sight of Penelope, white-faced and wide-eyed, listening to someone on the telephone. Penelope shook her head, and took a deep breath.
"Remus, I'm sorry. I just didn't expect to hear that at 11 at night, that's it. Now run it by me. How did it happen?"
James looked at her quizzically, head cocked to the side, and she shushed him, gesturing to the telephone. "Mmm Hmm," she would say every so often. Finally, she sighed. "Remus, I'm disappointed at you. You want me to put Lily on? Okay." She wordlessly handed the telephone to James, and went to one of the kitchen cabinets, taking out a package of Every-Flavor Beans. James put the receiver to his ear.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Lily?" Remus asked from the other end.
"Umm… yeah," James said. "What's wrong?"
"Talk to James. Here." The sound of the phone being passed came from their end, and then Lily answered. James looked around, checking to see that Penelope was still in the kitchen, and whispered into the receiver.
"Lil?"
"James!" Lily whispered back. "We're in trouble!"
James' brows wrinkled together. "How? What did you all do?"
"We had a little too much to drink," Lily whispered furiously, "And we decided to play Quidditch in an abandoned lot nearby."
James sighed. "Great Wizards, Lil. You really stepped in it this time. What do we have to do?"
"You have on more minute, Mr. Potter," an officer said from the other side. Lily paused for a few seconds to catch her breath.
"You need to come and bail us out ASAP. They set bail relatively low this time, 350 Pounds."
"350 Pounds? That's about… that's 225 Galleons! " James yelled out, causing Penelope to poke her head out of the kitchen.
"225 Galleons for what?" She asked through a mouthful of Every-Flavor Beans.
James put his hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. "About 225 Galleons for their bail."
Penelope coughed on a bean and her face turned a vivid shade of scarlet. "225 Galleons! My wedding dress doesn't cost 225 Galleons! Give me the phone." James wordlessly handed the phone to her, and Penelope, in a very calm voice, asked for Remus.
"What?" She said, after a few seconds. "Time's out, is it? Give me the guard, sweetie." She had a smug smile on her lips and a strange gleam in her aquamarine eyes. "Hello? Officer? Yes, I'm aware that the phone call time is up. But, to be quite honest with you I don't give a damn at the moment, because MY BLOODY FIANCEE AND HIS FRIENDS DESERVE TO HEAR ALL OF THIS, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHERE TO PUT YOUR BLOODY PHONE TIME LIMIT! UP YOUR BIG, MUGGLE AR--Oh. Thank you! Remus, we'll be over in a few minutes." She hung up the phone, and turned to James, a wide smile on her face. "Well, that's settled then. Off we go." James stared after her, wordlessly, then picked up Lily's purse and followed her out.