PLEASE READ "A MOMENT OF ETERNITY" FIRST. THIS IS THE CONTINUATION OF THAT STORY.
The days passed quickly and much time was spent between the two groups compromising on a new way to live together. After all, they agreed, the Mother didn't like her children to fight.
The first thing decided upon was the banishment of the 'holy man'. No one had ever known his real name, or his origin, but once Eflabin and his camp decided to stop following the misguided efforts, not totally intentional they surmised, of his both groups decided that would be the best course of action.
He had shouted curses for the two groups, well, as best he could. After all his face was swollen quite seriously and a few of his front teeth were missing. The Altamian's had also decided that Jondalar had to leave, quickly. They gave him a little leeway since his mate had been nearly killed on their behalf, but the group didn't want him in their camp any longer. Despite the fact that the circumstances surrounding his loss of control had been great, it was a disgrace to the Mother to inflict harm on another. Karpin conceded that point. After all, Jondalar wasn't Poterian and he had to think of what was best for his people.
Karpin also had agreed to help the Altamians prepare for the winter ahead, and they established tentative trading guidelines. If all went well in a few cycles they should have the groundwork established on a new kinship among these people.
Jasepa had told Jondalar that as the swelling in Ayla's face went down, that perhaps her memory would return. Her side was healing nicely and the only thing that could be done for her now was to give her time and space to try and remember. She seemed receptive enough to the idea that she was his mate, and after 'meeting' the animals, quickly became used to having them around. The hardest part for Jondalar had been having to tell her why her breasts hurt. When she found she had a daughter, Ayla insisted on leaving to find her as soon as possible. She had manually expressed her milk as Jasepa had shown her so she wouldn't lose it, and that's how they came to leave the Willow camp of the Altamians.
"Up there?" Alya asked, frightened.
Jondalar wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. "Yes. Whinney is your friend. Our friend. You've raised her since she was a foal and have ridden on her back many times. There's nothing to be afraid of." He assured her.
Karpin stepped up to them then. "Ayla, he speaks the truth. You ride her as natural as walking."
Jondalar gave him a smile of gratitude and watched as Ayla tentatively approached the mare. When she reached out her hand, Whinney nickered causing Ayla to pull back. Soon her curiosity got the better of her and she was soon petting the horse. Before she knew it, she was in-between both horses vying for attention. Jondalar's heart soared as her laughter filled the air. How many times had he seen the three of them in that position?
Karpin clasped him on the shoulder. "I'm sure she'll be fine in time. Tell everyone not to worry when you arrive. We'll probably head out in a few days ourselves. We want to go on a hunt with them to help them reestablish their food supply." Karpin looked over at Ayla. "She was right you know. If it wasn't for her, more blood would have been shed for no reason."
Jondalar nodded. "I know. I just wish she'd think of herself first sometimes."
'Mmhh." Karpin nodded.
Jondalar helped Ayla onto Whinney's back, then took the leather strap he made to help guide her in his hand as he leapt onto Racer's back. He signaled the horses to go, and Wolf, Midnight and Thunder raced to catch up when they saw their 'pack' leaving.
Ayla placed the wood she'd gathered in a pile and looked around. Jondalar had told her to set up camp while he hunted nearby for fresh game, but she was too embarrassed to tell him she didn't know what to do, so she nodded.
She knew that they'd need a fire and had gathered the wood, but beyond that....she didn't know how to get the wood to make a fire. Feeling frustrated, she threw the last piece into the pile and jumped slightly when she felt a wet nose on her. She looked over at Wolf who was whining.
She tentatively reached over and petted the large animal the way she'd seen Jondalar do it, but it still scared her to be with all the animals alone. She watched the sun slowly start to sink into the sky not knowing what to do. From what Jondalar had told her, she should have been at home here. He'd told her of how he'd found her, and their travels. She had the feeling that he was leaving some things out, but didn't push.
A rustling in the trees caught her attention and soon Jondalar reappeared with a large rabbit. His smile faded when he looked at her sitting by the tree, her knees curled up with her chin resting on them. Ayla quickly sat up and turned from him, wiping her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I couldn't remember."
Jondalar dropped the rabbit and took her hands in his. "It's all right Ayla. You'll remember in time. Please don't cry." He gently cupped her cheek with his hand, rubbing a tear away with his thumb. "I'll take care of everything. You rest. It's been a long day."
Ayla nodded and he went over to the horses. They still were strapped to their bundles and she watched as he relieved them of their burdens, then pulled out a ground cloth. She was watching everything he did, so she would learn quickly. For some reason, she didn't want him to think she was dumb or slow. She *had* to learn quickly.
~~~~~~~~~
Jondalar was quiet while he cooked the rabbit. He was amazed at the variety of edible plants around their campsite, and that worried him all the more. Ayla didn't seem to recognize any of them. He dug some roots up and added them to the cavity of the rabbit along with some other greens he'd found. She watched his actions intently, but said nothing.
Jondalar took the rabbit once it was done and placed it on a wooden platter. Making two cups of tea, he offered one to Ayla then sat the platter between them so they could share.
Wolf had made a pillow of Ayla's leg, resting his head and she was absentmindedly petting him.
"Here you go." Jondalar said as way of an opener as he handed her the cup.
"Thank you."
Wolf's ears perked up as Jondalar put the food down causing him to receive a stern look.
"No Wolf. You'll get yours later."
Ayla tore a piece of rabbit off and put it in her mouth. "mmm this is wonderful." She smiled at him.
Jondalar smiled back. "I hope so. It's one of your favorite ways to prepare rabbit. I only hope I came close to the way you do it."
Ayla looked down at her hands. When she looked back up at Jondalar, there was a question in her eyes. "Why can't I remember any of it? What's my favorite flower? Or how old I am? It's as if I was just born!"
Jondalar wished he could give her a definite answer. He wished he could tell her that she'd regain her memory and everything would be fine, but he couldn't. she always seemed to know when he wasn't being totally truthful, and the last thing he wanted was for her not to trust him.
"I don't know Ayla. Doni must have a reason for this. I'm sure you'll remember in time. Just give your body a chance to heal first."
Ayla rubbed at her breast, frowning. "how long before we reach the Poterians?"
"We should arrive by mid morning tomorrow. Don't worry, Tholiza will be waiting for us to return."
"It all seems so strange. I see pictures in my mind, but only bits and pieces. Nothing that I can make sense of."
Jondalar perked up at her comment. Perhaps this was the first sign of her getting better. "What kind of pictures? Try and describe them."
Ayla concentrated on the images she'd seen. "I see a cave, but no people. And plants, but I don't know what they are. When I sleep, the earth shakes and I'm terrified but I don't know why."
Jondalar went to Ayla's pack and pulled out her amulet and her otterskin medicine bag. Taking them to Ayla, he laid both in front of her. "Do you recognize either of these?" he knew that they were probably the two most important objects to her and hoped it would trigger her memory.
Ayla sat up and reached for the pouch, a moment of familiarity hitting her. Before she touched it though, her face clouded over and she frowned. "ItI'm not sure." She then picked up the red otterskin bag and looked it over. Turning it in her hands, she lifted the head and looked inside. Giving Jondalar a questioning look, he nodded and she poured the contents out in her lap. Many little leather pouches came out tied with sinew, knots on the cords. She opened one up and looked at Jondalar for assistance.
"this is your medicine bag. You're a healer. The best I've ever seen. Your Clan mother taught you from a very early age."
Ayla nodded. "What is this?"
Jondalar pulled her hand closer and looked at the crushed plant. "That's golden thread. You've told me that its good for bites and stings." Ayla nodded and tried to pull her hand back, but became aware that Jondalar was still holding it. She looked at their hands entertained as his thumb caressed her skin. She took a deep breath, wondering why such a touch would make her belly feel as if it were on fire. Ayla gasped in response to the unfamiliar sensations running through her, and looked up.
Jondalar's piercing blue eyes captured hers and she felt drawn to him. Without really knowing what she was doing, she leaned towards him. Jondalar met her halfway and their lips locked.
Ayla's lips parted and Jondalar took advantage of the invitation leaning her back onto the ground cover. His hands played across her body causing Ayla to moan and arch up to him. The sensations were so new to her, but they felt so right. She didn't know what was happening to her body and it was a little frightening.
"Stop!" she pushed on his chest and Jondalar pulled himself up on his elbows, looking down at her as he tried to control his breathing. "whatI'm sorry."
Jondalar helped her to sit up. "Don't be sorry, it's my fault. I should have known you wouldn't be ready."
Ayla couldn't look at him as he moved away. He didn't seem upset with her, but she was upset with herself. Why did her body act like that? It was frightening. She didn't know what to do.
Jondalar stood and tried to find a comfortable position. His desire was strong and he knew he'd have to take care of it. "I'muh..I'm going to get some more wood." He stammered as he backed away, then turned quickly to disappear into the trees.
After he'd gone, Ayla looked up in the direction he'd went. Her fingers gently tracing her lips where his had been not too long ago. Part of her didn't want him to leave, but the other part was afraid of what would happen if he'd stayed.
When Jondalar returned, neither knew what to say. Ayla was still trying to process what the new feelings meant, and Jondalar was embarrassed from what he'd just done. After all, the Mother didn't like her gift to be wasted in that manner.
The evening passed slowly and finally Jondalar rolled out their sleeping furs. He had decided that they didn't need to take out the tent, there wasn't any chance of rain tonight.
Ayla took her shirt off, then her foot coverings and leggings. She crawled into the furs and looked over at Jondalar. She was warring with herself over what to do. After Jondalar had told her that she was his mate, she had asked Jasepa in private what that had meant. It was difficult to speak with each other, neither knew the others language, but finally Ayla figured out that mated couples shared furs.
Since Jasepa had told her that, she became more confused. Jondalar didn't share her furs. And he didn't seem to have any of his own. Did they used to share furs? It would seem so, but. Deciding that she couldn't make him sleep on the cold ground again, Ayla cleared her throat.
"Jondalar, would you like to share my furs?"
Jondalar's head whipped around to look at Ayla, a lump forming in his throat. The way she was looking at him as the firelight danced in her hair, and her eyes he felt himself harden again. Was she actually asking what he thought she was? He couldn't form a coherent sound, so instead he nodded and took off his own clothes.
Once naked, Jondalar slid in beside Ayla and she scooted over to make room for him. Turning on her side, she felt his arm go around her waist, being careful not to touch her incision. Her body started to respond to his closeness and she was just about to bid him goodnight when she felt a steady pulse of heat against her backside.
His hand had traveled up her torso and now cupped her breast. She turned to face him, curiosity winning out.
"What is that?" she asked with wonder. Jondalar blushed a bright red as he realized just how much she didn't remember.
"That's well, that's my.my manhood."
|Ayla sat up further to look at him. "It's moving on it's own."
Jondalar didn't think he could become anymore embarrassed. "Yes, well, that's because I'm with you."
Ayla looked up at him puzzled. "I don't understand."
Jondalar reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Ayla's ear. How on earth could he explain this again? "When a man and a woman.share pleasuresa man places his manhood inside of a woman and gives her his essence." He took Ayla's hand and guided it to him. He closed his eyes and moaned when her fingers glided across him.
"It's so soft. What else happens?"
Jondalar didn't think he could control himself and his body shuddered in anticipation. He wanted nothing more than to lay Ayla down and make love to her all night long. He had to remember that it was as if she were still a child. To take her without her knowing exactly what was happening would dishonor the Mother.
Instead, he rolled her over onto her back and gently kissed her. Pulling back, he whispered, "They do this," and kissed her again, a little deeper. Once he started, he moved to her neck and placed light nibbles across her throat. He could feel her body tense beneath him, and used his hands to massage her body as he explored her.
"This feels sogood." Ayla whispered as Jondalar moved lower down her body. Ayla tried to turn and a pain went through her side causing her to cry out. Instantly, Jondalar stopped and looked down at her with concern.
"Did I hurt you?"
"My side, it hurts."
Jondalar pulled the furs back to see the rabbit skin that was wrapped around her wound stain red. "I think some of the stitches have come open. I'll make you some tea and check you."
Ayla felt cold when Jondalar's warmth left her. She wished that.well, she didn't know what she wished, but she knew she liked the sensations he had caused within her. This 'sharing pleasures' was it anything like sharing furs, she wondered?
Jondalar leaned over her, cleaning her wound and rewrapping it, then handed her a cup of willowbark tea. After she was settled, he once again crawled into the furs beside her and simply held her in his arms as she drifted off to sleep.
Ranec held Tholiza to him, rocking her. Ever since Ayla had left and he'd had the long talk with Gandar, he wouldn't let anyone near the child except to nurse her. The past week had been hard on everyone. They didn't know what had become of their friends and family. With the wars being so bloody, they knew some of their camp probably wouldn't make it home. The tension that added to the unexpected funeral they held yesterday had everyone on edge.
Ranec closed his eyes as the pain of losing his grandmother overtook him. She knew it was her time to go, despite what anyone else tried to tell her. The talk they had long into the night was something that Ranec would cherish the rest of his life.
She told him that he would one day lead their people into a new era. He had basically laughed at her. How could he lead anyone? Sure, if he was still with the Mamutoi there was a strong chance that he would be the leader of his own cave. He had high standing and many women had wanted to share his furs. It wouldn't have been hard to find a co-mate.
But here? He was one of the lowest status. He couldn't figure out why Gandar would say that he would help to bring about a new era. When she started talking about her great grandchild, he knew she'd been on the edge of the Mother's spirit world. By the first ray's of the sun, she had passed on to be with her daughter.
They had tried to put the burial off to give the men a chance to return, but they couldn't wait any longer. They gave her a burial fit for one who serves. Ranec had to say good bye to the last of the kin that he had here among the Poterians. He couldn't think of anything that would keep him here now, except Ayla. Once again she had invaded his heart and mind. Perhaps she would be willing to take him on as a second mate? He doubted that Jondalar would allow such a thing, but he could hope.
Looking into Tholiza's tiny face with her hair blond and eyes blue like her mother's, he allowed himself to pretend that she was the daughter of his hearth. What would it have been like had Ayla had a child of his spirit? Tricie had Ralev, and he was most definitely of Ranec's spirit. As much as he'd cared for her though, he couldn't bring himself to love another.
Hugging Tholiza to him, Ranec stood with the help of the walking stick Utnab carved for him. Ayla had told the older man the idea that Jondalar had come up with, and as soon as he was able, Ranec was using it. He walked out of the cave into the morning sun and somehow just knew that today was the day that Ayla would return. Remembering Gandar's words, he slowly headed out of camp, holding the child tightly to him.
Midnight and Thunder seemed restless, and darted in and out of the trees all morning. Ayla knew that they would reach the Poterian camp today and really hoped that when she saw her daughter she'd remember her. She was getting better at riding Whinney, and she studied Jondalar's back as he rode the other horse in front of her. He was still guiding the mare with the leather strap and for that Ayla was grateful. She didn't think she'd be able to get it to go where she wanted to go.
"Hallo!" a voice called out, and Ayla leaned over to see past Jondalar. In the distance a man was waving at them. Jondalar's pace picked up, and Ayla held on tighter to Whinney's mane. It didn't take them long to come upon the man.
"Ranec! What are you doing here?" Jondalar asked as he slid off Racer's back.
"I was to meet the two of you." The carver explained, his eyes never leaving Ayla. Once she turned her head towards him, his eyes grew big. "Oh Mother! What's happened to you Ayla? Are you alright?" he blurted in Mamutoi. Ranec hobbled over to her, worry evident as Jondalar helped her off Whinney. "I'mI'm fine." She looked up to see his face for the first time, and found herself staring. His skin was dark! Like wood that had been burned.
Tholiza fussed and Ranec tore his eyes away from the bruising on Ayla's face to smile at the child. He shifted her weight and looked at Jondalar and Alya. "Someone has missed you."
Jondalar smiled ear to ear at their daughter, then looked at Ayla. She was staring at the child, then at him. When he nodded, she stepped forward and placed the girl in her arms. Instantly, her body responded and her milk came in. The child fussed, and Ayla lifted her tunic so she could nurse. Jondalar motioned for her to sit on a log and she did so, gratefully. He sat beside her, the carver all but forgotten.
"Do you remember her?"
Ayla stared down at the nursing infant and slowly shook her head. In barely a whisper, she answered. "No."
Jondalar's shoulders slumped in defeat. He was certain that Tholiza would jog Ayla's memory. If she couldn't do it, what could?
"Jondalar"
he looked up at Ranec and the dark man motioned for him to come over. "What has happened to her? She's not herself." Ranec couldn't quite figure it out, but there was something different about the woman he was in love with.
"She was almost killed." When Ranec started to say something, Jondalar shook his head. "It's a long story. Apparently the injuries to her head have caused her to forgeteverything. I've tried everything I know of to help her remember, but I don't know if it's possible."
Ranec looked at Ayla again, longing and pity on his face. "I've heard of this, but haven't seen it myself. There was talks at one of the summer meetings a few years ago about a hunter who'd fallen off a cliff. Though he lived, his memory was gone. He didn't recognize his mate or her children. Not even his own mother. Tholie was talking about it at the tent one night. Others had said it is rare, but sometimes the person regains their memories. Other times, they have to start a new life."
Jondalar hoped beyond hope that Ayla would remember. She *had* to remember. "What happened to the man?"
"I'm not sure. I was too busy in other pursuits to pay too much attention at the time." Ranec remembered the summer at the one when Tricie was a redfoot. He'd spent most of his time trying to get her to share his furs. Now he wished he'd paid more attention.
Ranec sat down across from Jondalar and Ayla. He was relieved to take pressure off his leg and side as he studied the trio. There was much to tell, and much he wanted to know, but now was not the time to ask. He felt like an intruder as he watched the woman he loved nurse her child with the man she'd chosen looking on.
Everyone had been especially sympathetic, if not attentive to Ayla. Though most had never heard of one losing their memory, they could tell that she was being sincere. Ayla found the attention and sympathetic stares unnerving, and when she was sure no one was looking, headed out of camp. She just needed some time to herself, time to figure out who she was, or what she should do. She was surprised at how quickly she'd picked up the Poterian's language, but Jondalar assured her that she had a natural gift for languages, and that she'd already learned most of the language before.
Ayla walked along the stream kicking stones as she went. She came upon a large rock jutting out of the water just where the water turned sharply, then fell about six feet to the stream below. It was a very relaxing place and she climbed on top of the rock, letting the sun heat her body.
The partial memories she kept seeing when she was asleep, and sometimes when she was awake distressed her. It was as if someone was trying to tell her something, but she just didn't understand. Some of the pictures were frightening also.
There was one, a man, though he looked different from the men around her now. He was broad with a flat head and jutting brow. He wanted to harm her, but she didn't know why. If this was the past that she'd forgotten, she told herself, then she didn't want to remember it.
Other things though seemed pleasant. Her mate, Jondalar, always seemed to be smiling in her memory flashes. Thinking of him brought a tingle to her, and she wished she could remember what 'sharing pleasures' was like.
"Ayla?"
Ayla jumped and turned to see a woman standing a few feet from her carrying a basket.
"Nadkar! I didn't hear you."
Nadkar smiled and put her basket down. "I didn't mean to startle you. What are you doing out here?"
Ayla smiled at her, then tipped her head up to the blue sky. "Enjoying the day." When Ayla looked back to the woman, she eyed the basket.
"I was gathering some edible plants for dinner tonight, and also some for storage this winter."
Ayla nodded and moved over so Nadkar could sit on the rock beside her. "I love this place. I've come here every spring and summer for years now. It's so peaceful."
Ayla nodded in agreement, and dangled her feet into the water. It was so cool, she wanted to jump in and swim. Nadkar had told her that she couldn't do that until her side healed more.
Ayla gave her a sideways glance. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course. If I can answer, I will."
"Jondalar told me of this 'sharing pleasures'. He said a man puts his manhood into a woman and gives her his essence."
Nadkar fidgeted slightly. "Yes....that's true."
"Does it happen often?"
Nadkar couldn't help but smile. "If two people like each other and find each other acceptable, then yes, it can happen alot."
"So I should share pleasures with Jondalar?"
Nadkar sighed. She really wasn't the one that Ayla should be asking, but Gandar wasn't with them. A fleeting pain swept across her face at the memory of the old woman. "As long as that's what the both of you want to do. It must be agreeable to both."
"Do all women share pleasures with their mates?" Ayla asked. She was trying so hard to understand the concept.
"Well, yes. But not just with their mates. If a woman wants to share pleasures with another, and the man is willing, then they do. Especially if it's a mother's festival. Most people honor the mother by finding a different partner for the night. A lot of women find themselves blessed after a festival, even if they'd tried a long time to have a baby."
Ayla frowned as she thought of Tholiza. "I wish I could remember her." She barely whispered.
Nadkar wrapped her arm around Ayla's shoulder and drew her in for a hug. "You will in time, Artmis willing."
Ayla sniffed and straightened her shoulders. "I hope so."
"Nadkar.....what...exactly...does sharing pleasures consist of?"
"I...well, uh...actually, it's better to be shown. When girls have their first bleeding, they are opened in a ceremony by a man. That's when they learn of pleasures and what it all entails."
Ayla nodded in understanding, then smiled at Nadkar. "Thank you. I think I understand now."
"Good. I'm going to take these plants back before they wilt. Do you want to come along?"
Ayla shook her head. "I think I'd like to stay here longer. I haven't been by myself in a while."
"I understand completely."
Ayla watched the older woman leave and then laid back on the rock, watching the clouds float past.
Ranec smiled down at Ayla sleeping on the rock. He shook his head in amusement then nudged her gently. "Ayla, wake up."
Ayla's eyes flew open and she gave him a brilliant smile that turned into a yawn.
"I must have been more tired than I thought." She sat up and Ranec took the seat beside her. "How long have I been sleeping?"
"I'm not sure. It hasn't been too long since you've left camp though."
Ayla cocked her head at him. "You saw me leave?"
Ranec blushed slightly. He couldn't tell her that he always knew where she was, and what she was doing. "I....yes."
Ayla thought of all Jondalar had told her about Ranec. How they lived with him at Lion Camp and that she and he had been close. Jondalar didn't go into details, but she felt that if he trusted Ranec, then she could too.
Ayla couldn't stop thinking about Jondalar, and how he made her feel. She wanted more than anything to 'share pleasures' with him, but didn't know how or where to start. But perhaps....
Ayla smiled shyly at the dark man. "Ranec? Can I ask a favor of you?"
Ranec smiled at her, revealing his heart though his eyes. "Of course. I'd do anything I possibly could for you Ayla."
She turned about and leaned closer to him. Kissing him softly, she cupped her hand around his manhood like Jondalar had shown her. Pulling back, she stared into his startled eyes. "Will you show me how to share pleasures? Now?"
Jondalar hammered the piece of flint he'd been working on, despite the fact that it was no good. He had tried everything he knew to help Ayla regain her memories, and it was too painful to be around her like this. More and more, he'd busied himself with his flintknapping, and now that he'd gone through all the flint he had, he found himself wasting his time with bad nodules.
It was almost dark and he knew Ayla would be waiting for him at their evening meal. She was getting better at learning the basics of cooking, but it was nothing like how she could cook before. She didn't remember anything. Plants, teas, nothing.
Sighing, he packed his tools away and went inside. She was sitting with her back to him laughing with Ranec. A fleeting moment of jealousy went through him as he remembered that horrible winter, but he quickly held it in check. She had chosen him, and that's all that mattered. Guiltily Jondalar chastised himself because he should have been more attentive to Ayla. Instead he left it up to the carver. Not intentionally at first, but when he realized that Ranec was spending time with Ayla, it gave him a reason to get away.
After all, since they'd arrived Ranec seemed to know his place, and Jondalar respected him for that. He didn't think he'd have been able to be around the woman of his dreams and not be able to make love to her. Walking towards the two Jondalar smiled down at Ayla.
Ayla looked up to see Jondalar and her breath caught. He was so handsome! She had been disappointed lately to not spend that much time with him, and when she did, he would seem distracted. She handed him a plate of food and then picked up Tholiza to nurse her. The flashes of memory she had were becoming more constant now, and she felt as if she were on the verge of remembering....something.
It had been almost a half turning of the moon since she woke up to remember nothing and some part of her was beginning to accept the fact that she had to move forward, and start over.
Jondalar felt his heart melt when Ayla smiled at him, and forgot all about the carver being there. He sat beside Ayla and watched her nurse their daughter as he ate, not paying attention to the food. He knew he'd been a fool and decided that he would not hide from Ayla because of some self pity he felt for himself. So what if she didn't remember their past? they could start again. He smiled again when he thought of how he'd show her he was willing to start again. Glancing outside, he hoped the evening would pass quickly so he could take her to their furs. She had seemed more than willing as of late, and he was beginning to lose hope that her memory would return. They couldn't put it off forever and he didn't want to. The constraint he'd shown these past days was wearing thin, and he wanted nothing more than to show her this instant how much he loved her.
Ayla wondered why Ranec seemed sad when he'd left their heart earlier. She was puzzled by his reaction to Jondalar wrapping his arms around her, and kissing her. Perhaps he was sad that he didn't have a mate? She briefly wondered why he wouldn't. After all, he was handsome, charming, and funny. Certainly there would be plenty of women who would want to mate with him, Ayla thought. Even she wouldn't have minded if she hadn't already been mated to Jondalar. Thinking of him made her smile, and she shyly studied him in the light of their fire. He was holding Tholiza on his shoulder, walking back and forth trying to get her to stop fussing. The way he cared for the baby made Ayla feel warm inside, though she didn't know why.
She laid back in the furs watching him, and finally he turned to see her staring at him and blushed. His eyes crept down to her breasts jutting out from the furs and he felt himself respond.
Realizing that Tholiza had fallen asleep, he placed the baby in her furs, then shed his tunic and pants without taking his eyes off Ayla. Pulling the curtain closed, Jondalar leaned over her body and shuddered with wanting as he memorized every detail of her. When Ayla wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him near, Jondalar let out a sigh as he kissed her and got to know her all over again.
Jondalar woke to empty furs and briefly thought the night before had been a dream. Sitting up, he noticed the curtain was pulled back and Tholiza was still sleeping. Jondalar stretched and knew he had to relieve himself so he looked for his clothes.
Picking up the wrinkled garments he smiled. It wasn't a dream. They were still where he'd left them last night. As Jondalar dressed he picked up the cup of hot tea waiting for him and swirled the contents around in his mouth. Mint, chamomile, and....and.... He took another sip. Cranberries! Jondalar smiled at being able to solve another of Ayla's teas and down the liquid in the cup. Picking up the tizzle, he put it in his mouth, chewed the end as second nature and absentmindedly cleaned his teeth as he waited for Tholiza to wake so he could go out. He hoped it would be soon, he *really* had to relieve himself.
Jondalar pulled his hair back and tied it out of the way. If the past few days were any indication, today would be very hot. He rubbed a hand across his face and decided that it was time to shave again. Of course it didn't take long for him to decide to bathe and gathered everything he'd need.
Looking around the cave, he spotted Nadkar and walked over to her.
"Good morning!" He smiled brightly.
"Yes it is. You seem to be in high spirits." It was a pleasant change for the man. Ever since Ayla's accident, he'd been moody and not good company at all.
Jondalar blushed and looked down. "Yes, I'm sorry about that. I suppose I haven't been good company lately."
Nadkar shook her head and placed her hand on his arm. "It's understandable. Things will get better though. Would you like some leftover bore? I have some from last nights roast."
"Perhaps after I wash. Would you watch Tholiza for me? I'm not sure where Ayla is and I'd like to shave and get cleaned up."
"I saw her leave a little while ago. She was up early enough. I don't have anything I have to do right now, so don't you worry. Just go and have fun."
Jondalar kissed the older woman on the cheek causing her to blush as he headed out of the cave.
It didn't take him long to reach the stream, and he placed his belongings on a rock. Stripping, Jondalar jumped into the water and came up with a gasp. Though the day was starting off hot, the water was very cold. Jondalar shaved and bathed quickly and dunked under the water to rinse the rest of the grime off. Not wanting to get out yet, he decided to go for a swim upstream.
Jondalar floated on his back as he watched the sun slowly move across the sky. He swam slowly, not really having anywhere to be. It was good not to be traveling and getting away from everyone was an extra perk. Something was nagging him about this morning, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Last night was wonderful and he'd missed making love to Ayla, but this morning? All he did was wake, get his things together and come to the stream. What could be bothering him about that?
Slowly voices came into range and he was torn between going back downstream or continuing on his swim. Deciding to go just a little farther, he recognized the one voice as Ayla's. Curiosity got the better of him and he stayed near the shore where the brush hid his approach. When he rounded the small bend, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Ayla and Ranec were laying on a rock, side by side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Jondalar watched them for a few moments that seemed more like an eternity. They laughed so natural with each other, and Ayla would touch the man as they talked. Feeling his chest constrict, he quietly moved back down stream and once he was out of ear shot, started swimming as hard as he could, trying to vent his anger in the water. It didn't take him long to reach the spot where he'd entered the water, but he kept swimming as fast as he could.
It wasn't until he came to a drop off that was impassible that he stopped and held onto a rock to keep from floating. Jondalar rested his head on his hands as he clinged to the rock, trying to catch his breath. He felt as if his entire life was spinning out of control. His people had shunned him, Ayla didn't remember him or Tholiza, and Ranec, Ranec was haunting him. If he didn't know better, he'd swear the Mother was punishing him for something.
Jondalar shivered and slowing headed back upstream to his clothes. Chaotic thoughts swarmed through his mind and he couldn't process them. He wanted nothing more than to take Ranec by the throat and....and he couldn't believe that Ayla would still go to him!
He tried to remind himself that Ayla didn't remember everything that had went on that year, but then, if she didn't would she still chose him?
After all, she didn't remember that he was the one to introduce her to the others, or show her what pleasures were. Would she still choose him? He almost lost her one time, and didn't even want to entertain the thought again.
Dressing, he walked slowly back to the camp thinking of what he could do.
Jondalar collected Tholiza from Nadkar. She had taken the baby to be fed and she was changed. Jondalar gave her a grateful smile and went to the visitors hearth. He entertained the baby while he pulled out his and Ayla's traveling packs. Taking stock of what they had, and what they'd need, he replaced everything and waiting for Ayla to come back.
Ayla smiled at everyone as she headed into camp. Her hair was wet from the stream and she positively glowed. Many heads turned in her direction as she made her way though the camp. She didn't seem to notice as she headed straight for her hearth. She knew she had to nurse Tholiza, and her body was protesting the extra wait.
She saw Jondalar hunkered over the fire, poking at it with a stick and she gave him a brilliant smile for a hello. The way his eyes were guarded caused her smile to falter and she had the distinct feeling that something was wrong with him.
"Good morning," she greeted as she sat down by the fire and picked up a skin. Filling it with water, she put it in the fire to boil. "It's a beautiful day out. I bathed at the river."
Jondalar continued to poke at the fire, but quickly glanced up at her before looking down again. "Yes, it is good weather. Especially for traveling."
Ayla looked at him puzzled, but didn't say anything. Jondalar cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "I've been thinking. We need to be going. If we don't start soon we'll have to winter here."
"I thought you said that you wanted to winter here? Where else would we go? You said your people shunned us."
"You don't have to remind me!" Jondalar yelled and immediately regretted his outburst. In a quieter tone, he continued. "I don't feel it's a good idea to stay here. If we leave now, in the next day or two, we can reach the glacier at the beginning of the Great Mother river by mid winter. That's the best time to cross."
Ayla felt her head spin and her anxiety grow. This was the only home she remembered and he wanted to leave it. "Where would we go?"
Jondalar stood and paced the small area. "I'm not sure. I thought we could visit the Sharamondoi again, perhaps live there. After all, we were made welcome and they asked to adopt you. To adopt both of us." He corrected.
"But what about the people here? Wouldn't they take us in? And what about Ranec?"
Jondalar spun around, anger flashed in his eyes causing Ayla to gasp. "What about Ranec?" He asked, his voice low. Though his actions scared Ayla, she wasn't going to back down.
She squared her jaw and stood. "He's my family. You said so yourself. I was adopted into Lion camp. We can't just leave him."
Jondalar balled his hand into a fist and turned from her, trying to calm his emotions. When he finally turned back he was calmer. "Ranec traveled her on his own. He didn't come with us. His family is here now. Who's to say that he'd even want to come along?"
Ayla hadn't thought of it the way Jondalar had explained. "Well, we could at least ask him, couldn't we?"
Jondalar wanted to shout No! At the top of his lungs, but restrained himself. He clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would shatter. Before he said something he'd regret, he left the hearth quickly storming outside.
~~~~~~~~
Ayla sat at the hearth, her bundles about her. She was supposed to be packing what she wanted to take with her, but she didn't even know what was in half of the packages. Shrugging, she opened the first leather tied package and was surprised when two small figurines tumbled out.
She picked up the first one and smiled. It looked just like Whinney. She briefly wondered how she got it. Picking up the second, she recognized it as one of the Doni figures Jondalar had told her about. The Poterians had similar ones, she mused, but none of theirs had a face on them. Also, there's was made out of dark wood, almost as if it had been burned in a fire. She knew he had said to pack only what was necessary, and she couldn't think of a use for either of them. Placing them in a 'leave behind' pile, she moved to the next package.
This bundle was bigger and it looked as if it hadn't been opened in quite some time. She wondered what was inside as she untied the thongs. Her eyes opened wide when she held up a tunic of pure white leather. The only decoration seemed to be the tails of a white animal, only the very ends of which were black. It was beautiful. She held it up to her chest and knew it was too big for her. Perhaps it was Jondalar's? She refolded it neatly and knew that he'd probably want to take it.
She went through the rest of her belongings, and by the end she had a big pile of discards. A lot of dried plants she didn't even know the names for, as well as two small yellow stones and the figures from earlier. There was also the red otter bag that looked like it had seen better days and the beaded pouch that Jondalar said she used to wear around her neck.
She looked up to see Jondalar near the entrance, and when Tholiza fussed, she dangled a set of knuckle bones in front of the baby. Her mind wasn't on the task though, and when Jondalar looked in her direction, she quickly looked down. She hadn't known what to say to him these past few days and the time they'd spent together in the hearth had been strained.
She felt a light sweat break out when he approached the hearth, and busied herself with playing with Tholiza.
Jondalar stared at the top of Ayla's head then around the hearth. He spied the items on the fur and went over to them. Another wave of misery went through him when he saw all of Ayla's most cherished possessions laying on the furs.
"What are these for?" He asked.
Ayla glanced at the pile and shrugged. "That's what I'm leaving behind."
"Ayla! Are you sure? These mean a lot to you." He picked up the Doni he'd carved her all those summers ago.
"They mean nothing to me. I don't remember any of them. I don't remember you. All I do know is that these people are the only family I have, and you are taking me away from them." She stood and walked away from Jondalar, leaving him slack jawed.
~~~~~~~~
Activity stopped as Ayla ran from the cave, crying. Karpin stood to find out what was going on, but Nadkar shook her head. This was something they had to figure out on their own. Ranec had been outside carving for the first time in ages. He actually felt alive again. Renewed. Knowing it was because of Ayla, he wanted to give her something special. When Ayla ran past him, he looked back towards the cave and frowned. Jondalar wasn't coming out yet. Standing, he was glad his leg was healing, and was down to using only one of the walking sticks now. He turned to go in the direction Ayla had went when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Ranec was not so gently spun around and surprised, almost stumbled. Jondalar was standing not a foot from him, his expression hard. Tholiza was on his back in the carrier. "She's my mate, and I'll be the one to go after her."
Ranec stared him down as he stood straight. "She isn't a possession like a flint blade. She has a right to make up her own mind."
"She chose me! Or are you forgetting that?"
Ranec clenched the muscles in his jaw, finally he chose his words carefully. "You don't have to remind me, I remember. That's not what I was talking about. She doesn't want to leave. You shouldn't force her to go just because you're jealous of me."
"Jealous! Hah! You certainly are full of yourself, aren't you?"
Ranec shifted his weight so he was leaning more on the walking stick. "Then why leave? Why now? Where will you go? And what happened with your people? I thought you were going to settle down and start a hearth with her. At least if you would have stayed with the Mamutoi she would have had a home. People who loved her. But no, you had to be stubborn and drag her all the way back to your people. Where are they now?"
Jondalar lunged forward and grabbed Ranec by the front of his tunic. The sudden movement scared Tholiza and she started crying. Others who'd been nearby and didn't want to interfere, now stood and came forward.
Neither man moved as they stared into each others eyes. Karpin came forward and spoke in an authoritative voice.
"Let him go Jondalar. Do not forget you are a guest in our camp."
Finally the man's words sunk in and he let Ranec go with a jerk. Taking a step back, he finally tore his eyes away to look at he leader, only then noticing everyone had gathered around.
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. We're leaving in the morning. Thank you again for your hospitality."
Karpin nodded and Jondalar pushed through the crowd to go find Ayla.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ayla sullenly rode behind Jondalar on Whinney. Silent tears ran down her face as she thought of all the people she'd left behind. She was more than a little frightened. Where would they go? How long would it take to get there? At first Jondalar was very tense when they left this morning, hardly wanting to wait until she said her goodbye's. As the day wore on though, he seemed to relax somewhat.
Finally Ayla stopped Whinney and slid off the mare's back. She didn't say anything to Jondalar, and he kept going for a little ways. Finally Wolf barking in the distance caused him to turn around. Urging Racer into a gallop, he made it back to where Ayla had stopped. By the time he rode up, she was unhitching the travois from the horse.
"Why have you stopped? Are you feeling sick?" He asked, concerned.
She looked up at him, a stubborn set to her features. "No. I feel fine. I don't want to travel anymore today and I am making camp."
Jondalar looked around the area. It wasn't a bad location, but it was still early in the day. They had at least a few more hours they could travel. Watching her, he nervously slid off Racer and rubbed his hands on his trousers as he approached her.
"What...uh..what would you like me to do?" Jondalar now regretted his decision to leave the Poterians, but how could he go back? He'd announced to the entire camp that they were leaving, and embarrassed himself with Ranec. He couldn't possibly return now. When Ayla didn't answer, he went over and took a bundle from her placing it on the ground.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just, well," Jondalar turned from her and started pacing. This wasn't easy for him to say. How could he explain it to her?
"There's a lot more than you realize, history wise, between us and Ranec. When we met the Lion Camp, and wintered with them, Ranec vied for your affections. He almost won!" Jondalar turned to face her, hoping to see understanding.
Ayla tilted her head as she studied him. "Perhaps you should tell me everything, once and for all."
Sighing, Jondalar nodded and took Ayla's hand. He found a level spot and spread the ground fur out, and once they were settled started on his tale.
*********
Ayla didn't know what to say when Jondalar had finished. She didn't realize how much she'd hurt Ranec. And how much it must have hurt him to be with her everyday. Guilt wracked her as she thought of what she'd asked him. All that winter they'd shared pleasures, and here she was asking him to show her what they were! It all made sense now. The way Jondalar would look at him, and Ranec's looks in return. No wonder....
Ayla looked up at Jondalar with tears in her eyes. "Oh Jondalar. I'm so sorry. I didn't remember. There's so much I don't remember."
Jondalar wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her to him. Ayla pulled back and stared at him, blushing.
"I... I did something that probably hurt him more than I'll ever know." She whispered. Thinking of the story he just told her, she knew this wouldn't be an easy admission. "I....asked him to show me what pleasures were."
She watched as Jondalar turned pale and stared at her. He didn't look too well at all, and then he closed his eyes as if in pain.
Finally, he found his voice and choked out a reply. "I figured as much."
"What do you mean by that?"
Jondalar shook his head, and Ayla put her hand under his chin so he'd have to face her. "Tell me."
"I....saw the two of you by the river."
Ayla sat back puzzled. "You were watching me?"
"No! I had went for a swim and heard voices. I saw you and Ranec by the water."
Ayla folded her arms, her anger growing as she remembered the day she came back to the cave and he had bathed. "That's when you said we were leaving! You were jealous of Ranec spending time with me."
Jondalar stood and walked a few steps away from her. Balling his hand into a fist, he wrestled with his inner demons. "Yes."
Ayla stood and went over to him. "You were wrong Jondalar. I may not remember our past, but every time I look at you I....I come alive inside. I want to be with you in the furs and miss you when we're not. I do love Ranec, but not like I love you. He's a good friend. There's nothing to be jealous of. All you have to do is look at me and I know I never want to be away from you."
Jondalar crushed Ayla to him and buried his face in her neck. "Oh Ayla, I'm so sorry."
She held him back with all her strength and when he lowered her to the ground cover she felt herself respond, and gave herself to him willingly.
The sun was barely in the sky any longer as Jondalar held Ayla to him. He let his hand trail down her back ever so slowly, sated and happy. He hadn't lost her. She had dozed lightly after their pleasures and he wished he could hold her like this forever. Tholiza had waken and Wolf was entertaining her. Both Midnight and Thunder had disappeared again, and he realized that in the past month neither cat had been around much. Perhaps they wanted to start their own pride?
Tholiza started to fuss and Ayla stretched sinuously against Jondalar, reveling in his warmth. Opening her eyes she smiled at her mate and sat up. He also sat up and when Ayla pulled Tholiza over to nurse, he started a fire for tea.
They ate a stew made from fresh bore meat they had with them, and a few vegetables. Ayla sat quietly for most of the evening, and when she was eating made a face. "This needs some antelope sage root."
Jondalar looked at her shocked and Ayla blushed. "I didn't mean there was anything wrong with your cooking, but Iza used to make bore and it always tasted wonderful with the sage. I guess I hadn't really had bore since leaving the Clan and am not used to eating it any other way. Jondalar?"
He was still sitting there, looking at her as if she was from the Spirit world. Finally he managed to squeak out, "you, you remember Iza?"
Ayla frowned and looked at the fire, then smiled brightly as tears started to roll down her face. "I remember!"
"YEAH!" Jondalar yelled startling everyone as he picked Ayla up and spun her around. "Oh Ayla, my beautiful Ayla! I thought I'd lost you forever!" He finally put her down but didn't let go of her. Ayla was laughing and crying all at the same time.
"I....I remember. You, Tholiza, everything! How could I ever forget you?" She sobbed against his chest as he spun her around again.
"This calls for a celebration!" Jondalar announced and Ayla looked up at him slyly.
"How do you suppose we do that?"
Jondalar leaned over and kissed her deeply, then moved to her throat. Tholiza started to cry and reluctantly the couple pulled back. Ayla smiled at him as she went to pick up the baby, ruffling Wolf's fur on the way. Gently, she picked up her daughter and placed her on her shoulder, inhaling her scent. She rocked her back and forth as she sat down cooing to her like she used to do with Durc. Durc, how could she have forgotten her son? Fresh tears came unbidden as she put Tholiza to her breast.
The past month that she didn't have her memory was hard, and Ayla replayed every part of it in her mind. "Jondalar! My amulet, and my medicine bag! I left all of it back at the camp!"
Jondalar smiled at her and took a bundle off of Racer's travois. "I brought them with me. I knew you wouldn't want to leave them." He opened the bundle and it wasn't until Ayla actually saw the items that she allowed herself to relax. Jondalar took her amulet and slipped it around her neck, tying it securely. She reached up with her free hand wrapping it around the familiar lump. Closing her eyes, she said a thank you to her totem for not leaving her though she didn't remember him.
They talked quietly long into the night, simply holding each other. Just before Ayla drifted off, she said something that Jondalar wasn't expecting.
"You know, he isn't happy there."
"Who?"
"Ranec. He pretends to be happy, but I can tell. How can we leave him with people who have no connection to him?"
Jondalar shook his head. "They're his family. If he didn't want to be there, he could leave."
Ayla propped herself on her elbow. "And where would he go? He's very far away from the Mamutoi and Gandar was the last of his family here. He's lost the heart to continue on his own."
Jondalar was silent and Ayla finally sighed and settled back down on his chest. He was right. If Ranec did want to leave, then he'd leave. She wished she could look at his injuries again though. Just to make sure they were healing well.
~~~~~~~~~~
Ayla stretched and glanced up at the sky. Though the sun had just began its ascent, she was surprised that she'd slept so late. Normally she'd waken before the sun and watch it as it began its journey across the sky. It was one of her favorite times of the day.
Sitting up, she recovered Tholiza and noted that Midnight had returned during the night, but Thunder was still gone. Wolf was laying on his side by the fire, his muzzle red stained. She knew he'd been hunting during the night, and was successful. She didn't see Jondalar anywhere but knew he'd be back shortly. He probably had went hunting the way he normally did while they traveled. If he was lucky, then they wouldn't have to stop early to make camp and hunt.
Ayla banked the fire and poured water into a bowl to heat for tea. She reached for her medicine bag and smiled at the worn red case. How could she have ever forgotten Iza, and everything she'd learned? Ayla shuddered when she thought of the past moon. It was as if she were a totally different person.
Opening the bag, she dug for the pouch with two knots close together. When she didn't find it right away, she dumped the contents onto the ground. Searching the bags, she finally found it, but to her dismay it was empty. She remembered asking Jondalar what it was and he'd told her it was golden thread. Then.....then.... Oh no! She had poured it into her hand, watching it fall thru her fingers before losing interest and tossing the medicine bag aside! That was weeks ago!
Closing her eyes, she swallowed hard as she started to shake. All this time....she hadn't been taking her morning tea to prevent the Mother from blessing her. Did that mean she would have a baby? Ayla smiled at the thought of having another baby of Jondalar's spirit. True, Tholiza was still young, but a lot of women have babies then become blessed right away. The fact that she almost died birthing her was what dismayed her the most. She didn't want to have another child until they had found a home somewhere, with other women around.
Gasping, Ayla's hand flew to her mouth and Wolf whined, coming over and nudging her. She didn't even notice him as tears started to stream down her face. What if....what if the baby wasn't Jondalar's? She'd also.....oh Doni!
How could she have done that to him? After all the pain she'd caused him! Still, they had only shared pleasures twice. She and Jondalar had shared pleasures much more than that over the past moon.
Not knowing what to think, she decided to wait and see if she'd been blessed first, then worry about the rest if the time came.
It was well past mid morning and Jondalar still hadn't returned. Ayla was starting to get worried and more than once thought of tracking him. She knew that she wouldn't be able to load everything on Whinney, and was trying to figure out how to store their belongings so animals didn't get to them when the Mare nickered. Wolf yipped and dashed into the woods as Ayla breathed a sigh of relief. He was back. She picked up Tholiza and walked to the edge of their camp when Racer came into view.
Jondalar was riding slow and he looked tired. His shoulders sagged slightly and she could tell even from this distance that he needed to rest. She gave him a brilliant smile and as he came closer, she noticed someone was with him.
Puzzled, she gave him a questioningly look but he simply gave her a strained smile in return. Racer turned slightly revealing the other rider to be Ranec! Before she could ask what or why he was with Jondalar, Ranec looked directly at her and smiled with all the love he held for her. Flustered, Ayla looked down and away. She knew with their recent pleasures that she'd given him false hope, and the last thing she wanted was to break his heart again.
~~~~~~~~
Jondalar helped Ranec off the horse, then patted Racer down. It hadn't been easy to convince Ranec to ride Racer, but Ranec knew if he was going to go, he had no choice. Jondalar watched the woman he loved stare at Ranec, then look down avoiding his gaze. A pain shot through his heart knowing that the two of them had shared pleasures, but he also knew he'd do anything he could for Ayla. She was right, they couldn't just leave him there if he didn't want to be there.
After Ayla had fallen asleep, he untangled himself from her warm body and commanded Wolf to guard her and Tholiza. He rode hard through the night and reached the Poterian camp about an hour before sun up.
Ranec had been surprised when he was shaken awake by Jondalar, but Jondalar explained to him why he had come. Ranec had been overjoyed that Ayla regained her memories, and that she wanted him to travel with them. Ranec studied Jondalar in the dim light from his fire and asked what he had wanted.
Jondalar knew that it was time that he at least tried to put his jealousy aside. If things had been different, he would have liked the carver. He reminded him alot of his brother Thonolan. They both were laid back and could charm anyone. Both were outspoken and laughed at life.
Jondalar told him that he wanted what was best for Ayla. She was concerned for his well being and said that she knew he wasn't happy here. When Ranec didn't deny it, Jondalar knew he couldn't leave the man behind. He let him know though, that he didn't want Ranec being with Ayla anymore. He was her mate, at least in their hearts, and now that she had regained her memories she also felt remorse for what she'd done.
If Ranec could travel with them as a friend, and family, and want nothing more, then Jondalar would welcome him to travel with them. Ranec had thought hard of what Jondalar had said. He loved Ayla, he always had. When she'd asked him to show her what pleasures were his heart soared, though he knew he should have declined. He could never turn her down.
The next morning when they'd met at the stream Ayla was so excited telling him all about the pleasures she'd shared with Jondalar. He knew then that the innocent, exhuberant woman who poured her heart out to him, didn't think of him as more than a good friend. He had taken her in his arms, kissed her, and shared pleasures with her one last time. Memorizing every detail of her. If he could still be with Ayla, even if it wasn't as her mate, then he wanted to. He vowed to the Mother that he'd protect her and her offspring for as long as the Mother left him able to. She was his family.
Ranec had packed quickly and just after the sun broke through the morning sky, he bid farewell to Karpin, Utnab, Nadkar, and the rest of the cave who'd been up. Knowing he'd have to ride on Racer was terrifying, but to be with Ayla he'd ride a thousand horses. With one last look back, Ranec waved in a come back motion to his people then set off on his new life.
~~~~~~~~~~~