~~~~~~
Ayla was still in good spirits when she and Ranec walked to the front of the cave. As soon as the camp noticed her and Ranec, they were surrounded by a rush of well wishers. Both were escorted to the fire, and Ayla sat down beside Jondalar. He leaned over and kissed her before wrapping an arm around her waist.
"We were wondering if you were ever going to wake up!" Laradi announced.
"Laradi!" Solandia admonished the young man. He had the decency to blush, but Ayla knew it was hard for a man his age. He probably had just had his first kill not too long ago. Patience wasn't something that men his age had lots of.
"Everyone's been anxious to hear your stories. Jondalar has refused to tell us anything. He's been teasing us making us wait." Lorenia added with a smile towards the tall blond visitor.
Jondalar blushed at her, and added "well, it wouldn't do good for me to ruin it now, would it?" Jondalar replied.
Someone handed all of them plates, and Ranec looked up at the young woman and smiled. "Thank you" he managed in broken Losanduni and was intrigued to see her coy smile in return. Perhaps he'd have a few women to honor the Mother with here.
Ayla helped herself first, as was their custom, and both Ranec and Jondalar filled their plates next. Afterwards, everyone seemed to converge on the food and the laughter filled the only empty space left in the lodge.
Ayla was more than a little curious, and worried, as to how Jondalar would tell his story. After all, they weren't welcomed among the Zelandonii at all. Banished. Yes, the Lanzandonii were more than willing to accept them, but they had all agreed not to stay there. They didn't even visit on the way back. Ayla knew how much it pained Jondalar to not be able to say a proper goodbye to his relatives, but they all knew it was for the best. They had been under enough pressure with accepting Echozar into their cave.
Jondalar knew that Dalanar would fight for him and Ayla to stay there, and so would Jerika. Facing banishment as a cave from the entire Zelandonii and Council of Mothers was too much to ask of the people he loved. They were only one cave, and they had close ties with the Zelandonii. Also, they needed the trading with them to survive. One illness, one catastrophe could wipe out the entire cave. If they didn't have support from other caves, they wouldn't survive. He would never do that to his family.
Instead of facing the arguments, and bringing up ill will, they skirted around the Lanzandonii territory. Jondalar was both relieved and saddened that they hadn't ran into any of the camp. They were probably still on their way home from the summer meeting, he surmised.
Being brought out of his reverie, Jondalar watched as Taulia and Floria produced instruments and the music began. The bouza was passed freely as well, and soon everyone was either dancing or laughing, or just enjoying each others company.
Ayla sat back and watched the festivities with a smile. She had missed being with people who accepted them without reservations. More than a few times people would approach her and catch up, but for the most part they didn't stay long, preferring to celebrate. She had to smile when she saw all the female attention Ranec was receiving. He seemed to come alive under the deluge of women vying for his attention. Jondalar seemed not far off with the women dancing with him. As soon as one dance would end, another woman would approach him to dance. Though he was with them, his eyes rarely left Ayla. She knew where his heart lay and gently caressed her stomach as she watched him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Long into the evening everyone had finally settled down to listen to the stories the visitors had to tell. It didn't take long for Laduni to get everyone's attention as they were always anxious to hear new tales, and to retell old ones that were classic. Ayla sat beside Jondalar and they looked on as Ranec captivated the audience with the tales from Lion Camp, his journey, the Poterians, and finally his journey here. He was quite good at story telling, and Ayla found herself listening just as actively as the rest of the camp. She found herself lost in ancient memories of her time with the Mamutoi, and more than a small part of her couldn't wait to get back 'home'.
Of course, there was another part of her that knew she couldn't ever go home again. First it was an earthquake that tore her from her home and her family, then it was Broud. She felt a little guilty when she thought that Jondalar had taken her from her last adoptive family, but she told herself that was different. He was her family now, and he was taking her home. Even the spirits had told her that the Zelandonii were to be her new family. That was to be her new home. Briefly, she thought that perhaps the spirits would be angry with her that she didn't stay there. Was that why they couldn't find a place to take them in? when she thought about it, ever since leaving the Zelandonii they hadn't found a place to call their own.
Jondalar nudged her and she smiled at him. He leaned forward. "Are you feeling alright? If you'd like, you can lay down?"
Ayla shifted slightly. She hadn't realized how tired she really was. She nodded and blushed slightly. "Do you think it would be rude if I did? They are expecting us to tell our stories next." She whispered.
Jondalar took her hand in his. "I'll tell the stories. They'll understand. Come on." He stood and helped her up. Nodding to a few people who noticed them going back to the visitor's hearth, they quietly made their way down the cave.
Though Ranec's pace didn't waver, he watched, acutely aware that Ayla didn't look too well. When Jondalar returned to the storytelling, he gave him a questioningly glance, but Jondalar shook his head to let the carver know that she was fine.
Folaria interrupted. "So there are a whole clan of people who's skin is as dark as yours?" she asked in awe.
Ranec smiled his dazzling, seductive smile at the younger woman. "yes. Most are darker skinned than myself though."
She blushed and looked away, but she couldn't help but share a giggle as her friend nudged her knowingly.
Ranec cleared his throat as he finished. "And that's how I come to be sitting among you good people tonight. But, I'm not the only one with a story to tell."
There were anxious murmurs throughout the people as they knew it was Jondalar's turn to speak. Most remembered how good of a story teller he was, and were looking forward to hearing what had happened to him and Ayla since they last visited, as well as hearing the stories of their other travels again.
Jondalar took a gulp of the bouza he had as he looked around the expectant crowd. Timing was everything, and he knew how to set a pace.
Ayla couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. She felt uncomfortable in her lower back and abdomen and she shifted restlessly. Finally giving up, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Perhaps a calming tea may help? She banked the small fire quietly and dug through her medicine pouch for the herbs she needed. It was very late, or early depending on one's view. No one was awake and only the sounds of deep breathing could be heard throughout the cave.
She became aware of someone moving nearby and turned to see Losanduni shuffling towards her.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, but I couldn't sleep."
He waved her off as he sat down by the fire. "You did not wake me. The spirits were talking to me also, and when they talk, no one sleeps."
Ayla looked at him quizzically. "Spirits?" She readied another cup so she wouldn't have to face him.
"Yes Ayla. They've been speaking to you also, haven't they?" He asked matter of factly, as if he already knew the answer.
Ayla nodded weakly and when she looked back at him, she looked almost ready to cry. "I can't do this anymore Losaduni. I can't. Haven't I been tested enough? All I ever wanted was to have babies, and share Jondalar's hearth. Why can't they leave me alone?" She cried in a hoarse whisper. Losaduni pulled her to him and she cried quietly into her chest. He stroked her hair, rocking her gently.
When she seemed to be finished crying, she pulled back and he handed her a soft rabbit skin.
"I'm sorry."
"Never be sorry Ayla. The Mother gives us tears so we can express our deepest feelings. Without them, they'd eat us up inside like a woodworm until there's nothing left."
Ayla poured the two cups of tea and handed one to the older man. They sipped their tea quietly for awhile. Then Ayla finally spoke.
"I don't want to go back. It's taken so long to get back here. Over one and a half turning of the seasons. They are still going to banish me. Why? Why do I have to go through that again?" She whispered.
"Only the Mother knows the answer to that child. I do know that you have a home here until after your baby is born. It will be a new beginning for you, and an ending. I do not know anymore than that though. She has kept that part to Herself. Your child will be born in early spring, and with it, comes a new era of change. You and your traveling companions will be tested, but the Mother always watches out for Her chosen ones."
Losaduni stood and patted Ayla on the shoulder. "Don't worry child, it will not happen tonight. Get some rest. Your baby needs you."
Ayla watched him leave, then glanced over at the two men who were dearest to her heart. They've stood by her through everything, and now she would be putting them through more. It wasn't fair. She couldn't keep asking that of them. She thought that maybe it would just be better if she faced this latest challenge alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The weeks past quickly as Ayla, Jondalar and Ranec got settled in their temporary home. It was still winter, but the Mother had won her battle once again and new life would soon be in abundance.
Ayla's 'dreams' were becoming more insistent and troubling. She had to go back. They told her that every night, leaving her exhausted in the morning. As much as she tried to ignore them, it didn't make a bit of difference. She had talked to Losaduni about them on more than one occasion, but all he could tell her was that she had to follow her destiny. Destiny, Ayla scoffed to herself, why her? Why didn't the Mother choose someone else?
Knowing she wouldn't sleep this night either, Ayla quietly rose and stepped out of the lodge. The air was crisp in the pre dawn hours and she unconsciously rubbed her arms together. Whinney nickered a greeting and trotted up to her, and Ayla wrapped her arms around the mare's neck. She hadn't been riding that much as of late. Jondalar and Ranec had gone on three hunting expeditions since they'd arrived, and there was more than enough food for everyone. Ayla could smell the sulfur on the wind from the hot springs, and wanted to take a dip. Solandia and Losaduni both warned her not to, saying it could cause her to give birth early. Ranec had enjoyed the springs with the company of quite a few different women, and she had even convinced Jondalar to enjoy himself, though he only went once.
Ayla guided Whinney to a nearby rock that others from the cave used when she would let them ride the mare, and managed to climb up. Since her pregnancy was so far along, she found it difficult to leap onto the horse's back like she used to. Whinney started a slow pace across the meadow as Ayla held her stomach. She calculated that she only had a moon to go, and with the way she'd been feeling, maybe not even that long. As much as she was looking forward to having the child, she was still anxious over who's spirit was used to help make her.
If what she thought was true, that when a man put his manhood inside a woman a baby was started, then it could just as easily be Ranec's spirit as well as Jondalar's.
She was worried how Jondalar would react if the child was of Ranec's spirit, and more than a little curious as to what the child would look like. She thought of Ralev, Trici's baby, and Tholiza. She tried to mix the two in her mind but couldn't quite come up with an image.
What would Jondalar do? She knew he wouldn't be too happy, but would he take it out on Ranec? And what of him? He always wanted her to have children of his spirit, but they were only friends, right?
Ayla couldn't come up with a solution. Everything was going round and round and her head hurt as she let Whinney guide her where she wanted. Ayla didn't care where they went, as long as she got away from the others. She needed time to herself.
By the time the sun broke over the horizon, Ayla had managed to bring down a ermine with her sling and decided to skin it. Making a small fire, she spitted the animal, using her seasonings from her medicine bag, and rolled the white fur up to work later. She felt the tail and examined the black tip. She never had given Jondalar the outfit she'd made him all those summers ago. It was for their matrimonial and they had never truly been mated. Maybe they never would.
After eating, Ayla was dousing the fire when the bushes moved. Whinney didn't seem nervous and after a moment Wolf came bounding up to her.
"Wolf! What are you doing out here? Did you decide to go hunting?" The large animal licked her face over and over as she petted and scratched him in his favorite places. Ayla stood to go when a pain shot through her abdomen.
Gasping in shock she felt herself go limp as she fell to the ground. Wolf whined and sniffed at Ayla, but she didn't move. Not knowing what to do, he laid down beside her to protect her as Whinney pranced nervously nearby.
~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ayla floated across the sky as if she were flying. Terrified, she didn't understand what was happening. Beside her, a golden eagle swooped down and flew beside her, seemingly looking at her as they flew in silence. Ayla immediately felt herself relax. She somehow knew that the bird had sent her a message and she no longer worried. She was amazed at how quiet the world was from up here. No animals, no trees rustling, nothing. Just the wind as it whipped past her, carrying her over the white expanse below.
Ayla started to notice familiar landmarks as they flew. Squinting, she hoped for a closer look at an outcropping, and as if the wind heard and obeyed, she found herself swooping closer. It was! This was the same outcrop that she and Jondalar had passed on their way to the Zelandonii and again on their return to the Losanduni.
Ayla glanced towards the bird, but it had quickly flew ahead. "Wait! Don't go. Why have you brought me here?" She asked, but no answer was forthcoming.
Deciding to see where this spirit journey would lead her, Ayla took in all that she could from her vantage point. She was surprised to see a small passage near the northern end of the great ice. They had crossed it once, and this time decided to travel around it to the north. Ranec had told them about a southern route, but this was neither. It seemed to go through the ice!
Before Ayla could ponder that thought, she felt her direction changing. She was now on the other side of the glacier and traveling very fast to the northwest. A loud roll of thunder could be heard and it reverberated through Ayla. She felt the stirrings of a deep seeded fear start to emerge as a breast of Doni came into view. Ayla had never seen one of them before, though Jondalar had described them to her.
The smoke from it choked her and she struggled to breathe. She was almost directly overhead and she could see the angry mouth red with fire spouting towards her. The wind seemed to die from around her as she gasped for breath.
Before she could react, Ayla was being hurled faster and faster towards the mouth of the volcano.
Ayla jumped back into her body and her eyes flew open as she struggled to fill her lungs with air. After a few false tries, she finally managed to gulp in lung fulls of breath. She didn't seem to hear Wolf as she shakily pushed herself up to a sitting position. Looking around, she realized that she was safe and the terror she'd felt came out in loud body wracking sobs. Wolf nudged her and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried anew. She was in shock and she didn't know what she had done to cause the spirits to turn against her.
~~~~~~~~
Solandia looked worriedly towards her mate as they ate their evening meal. The children had decided to take Wolf and play at other hearths since the mood at their hearth was subdued.
Both Ranec and Jondalar kept staring at Ayla off and on. Ever since she'd returned from her outing no one could get her to say more than one word. The dark circles under her eyes were more pronounced and she seemed jumpy and withdrawn.
Losaduni poured another cup of tea for himself and shook his head at his mate. He didn't know what to make of it either. He had hoped that later they'd have some time to talk, alone, but so far Ayla hadn't ventured from the hearth, and both Jondalar and Ranec were doting over her worried.
"It looks like a storm is brewing." Losaduni started. "The Mother must have a battle ahead of her."
Ranec was grateful for the conversation, no matter how strained it seemed. "We have a story among my people about how Muta has to keep the peace between her spirits. I haven't heard it since I was a child, but I know it had to do with the wind and rain spirits fighting the earth and fire spirits over where to live."
Solandia perked up. "We have a story similar to that. In the before time, remember Losaduni?" She asked.
"How could I forget?" He teased. After all, he was one of the Mother's chosen.
Jondalar glanced at Ayla again, knowing how much she loved legends. She didn't even seem to notice that anyone was talking.
"In the before time, there were no trees, no animals, nothing except water and barren land everywhere. The Mother was lonely and decided to give rise to the trees. Out from the ground She grew her breasts. They fed the earth and the trees grew. The land turned green. Animals were created. Deciding something was missing, the Mother then spewed her milk into the deep oceans and from the water fish came. Still not satisfied with Her creation, she brought forth woman. She created the women to be the caretaker of the earth. Like Her, women could give life, and nurture. Her world was so complete and bountiful that it grew quickly. Her children traveled far away from each other and she found herself not having enough time to tend every hearth.
It was then she decided to create the spirits to be guides for us. She brought forth spirits for the earth, the water, the sky, and all of the animals. Whenever we've needed guidance, She would send us a spirit to help us. If we were careless with her gifts, the Spirits could also punish us. That is why it is very important never to disgrace the Mother or turn your back on her ways."
All the adults found themselves listening eagerly to the legend Losaduni told. Most cultures had similar stories, and it was interesting to find the similarities and differences between the tellings.
"Sometimes, the spirits decide they want to be more powerful than the Mother intended, and they fight amongst themselves. That is when we get the worst storms, or animals are scarce and caves starve. The Spirits fight among themselves for the others power, but none dare fight the Mother Herself."
Jondalar had never heard the story told in such detail, and since Losaduni had stared at Ayla almost constantly since he'd started, Jondalar felt that this was a story told mostly to Those who Served.
"How do they resolve their differences? I thought the Mother didn't like her children to fight."
Losaduni smiled at him. "You are correct young man. The Mother hates fighting. That is why it is strictly dealt with quickly if a fight breaks out among people. The Mother could decide to punish the whole camp for disgracing her. It is not unheard of for whole camps to split because their differences can not be resolved."
"What about evil spirits? I thought they were the ones who caused ill will." Ranec asked as he rocked Tholiza while the child slept.
"Evil Spirits exist also. They are very powerful and can cause much harm. But good Spirits can also become misguided. It is not easy to control such a great gift, and some can not take the strain. Sometimes they become unhappy with what they have and want more. That is when it is important to have a powerful protector. A person, even a trained Losaduni, could lose their way in the spirit world if caught up in one of their battles."
Losaduni involuntarily shuddered as he looked up at the smoke hole. "I feel that something powerful is happening soon. Tomorrow I will fast and meditate until the Mother shows me a sign."
The small group at the hearth felt the enormity of the words Losaduni had given them. There were many things they didn't understand, and if Losaduni said that something was going to happen, they could only hope that the Mother protected them enough to spare them from the worst.
They didn't know that another member of the cave had come forward to hear the story. Madenia hid in the shadows of the cave as she watched the other adults. In many ways she still felt like a child. More than anything she wished she could be like Ayla, Ayla never felt afraid, or backed down from her feelings. Though she too had been raped, she didn't shun from love like Madenia did. Ayla had let Jondalar in and he loved her. He showed her pleasures.
Madenia had went through with first rites, hoping that she'd find someone like Jondalar. Though it hadn't been rough like Charoli and his band, she didn't feel pleasure either. It was uncomfortable and she couldn't let herself relax enough to trust the man she'd picked.
Since then, she refused to share pleasures with any man, and after awhile, most had stopped asking. Her mother had even stopped receiving offers for Madenia to mate. Her mother had long since given up on marrying off her only daughter. She was back to complaining almost all the time about lost grandchildren, and Madenia spent as little time with her as possible.
She was brought out of her reverie when Ayla spoke.
Ayla had listened to the story Losaduni told listlessly. When he'd finished, she contemplated his words as the fire danced in front of her. Finally, she took a deep breath and stood. "It's a lie. All of it."
Solandia looked at her puzzled as Ayla eyed Losaduni. To them, there was no one else in the room.
"What happened?" He asked, knowing that something had to have happened for her to be standing in front of them like this. She was a mere shell of the vibrant woman she used to be. Yesterday she wasn't like that, so something had to have happened.
Ayla tore her eyes from the fire and whispered. "There's death nearby."
Ranec and Jondalar both stood more worried than they had been. "Ayla, what's wrong?" Jondalar implored.
"Yes there is. I have felt it for the past few days. It's getting stronger." Losaduni answered cryptically.
Ayla ignored everyone and everything. She knew she was being called. Jondalar was getting frustrated watching the woman he loved suffer. He wanted to do something, anything!
"What are you two talking about? Who's death?" He demanded frustrated.
"Mine." Ayla whispered as her world went black again.
~~~~~~~~~~