Moths and Wizards and Shinkage, Oh My!!
My first fic for METMA. Point of view of Dudley's Orange and Brown Puffball Sweater.
The sweater is JK's. The story is mine. METMA is Mandy's.
***
They are going to die!!!!! Sure, they think I'm a harmless sweater, but the wizard did something to me. I'll use it against them. I'll suffocate them! Heh-heh. Oh great. I just remembered. The kid only shrank me; he didn't give me magic powers to open the closet.
I remember the good old days in the shop. On the rack next to the polo shirts. Behind us were the tank tops. They are such valley girls. 'I am going to be on a MOVIE STAR!!!' 'Me Too!' 'Me Three!' How dumb can you get? At least the polo shirts were intelligent. 'E=MC squared!' 'Light is made of every color!' Maybe too intelligent. And no one ever bought me. The brainiac polos and the Bimbo-Barbie tank tops, yet not me. But the shop was better than the Dursley's.
Oh yes. Marge Dursley bought me for her nephew Dudley. She, at least, admired the quality of my brown wool, the velvety texture of my neon-orange puffballs. She wrapped me up in shiny green paper and sent me as a Christmas gift. Dudley opened me and howled. He loved me so much, he would never wear me! One day, however, Petunia opened Dudley's armoire. She took me out and made him don me.
'Duddy, it's raining and cold! You'll get WET!'
Dudleys screamed he wouldn't wear me, but Petunia triumphed. Dudley wore me to class. That Harvey kid who lives with his family snickered all the way to school. It was awful. People made fun of me. Dudley forgot his umbrella and Harvey didn't have one. I was soaked. Dudley slipped and landed in a mud puddle. He chewed on my neck when called on by the teacher to answer questions. He wiped his runny nose on my sleeve. He tore my arm with his compass. He got eraser bits all over me. He started unravelling my hems. By the time we got home, I was miserable.
Petunia stuck me in the washer. I was put in their hamper and forgotten, until the day that Harvey had no clean clothes. Petunia gave me to him. He hated me. She tried to tug it over her head, but Harvey shrunk me! He shrunk me! It was intolerable! Petunia didn't realize what happened. She thought the dryer was the culprit. But no. It was him.
They shoved me in a closet after disinfecting me, probably because Harvey had nearly worn me. I think they kept me so Marge wouldn't fuss. My new confinement had no cedar chips. In the seven years that have followed, no one has removed me from my prison. I am forgotten and nibbled by moths! It's painful, and all I can talk to are the raincoats. They're so gloomy. I'm getting moldy. My beautiful orange puffballs are falling off. No one will want to wear me. AHHHHHH! Get me out of here, PLEASE!
My first fic for METMA. Point of view of Dudley's Orange and Brown Puffball Sweater.
The sweater is JK's. The story is mine. METMA is Mandy's.
***
They are going to die!!!!! Sure, they think I'm a harmless sweater, but the wizard did something to me. I'll use it against them. I'll suffocate them! Heh-heh. Oh great. I just remembered. The kid only shrank me; he didn't give me magic powers to open the closet.
I remember the good old days in the shop. On the rack next to the polo shirts. Behind us were the tank tops. They are such valley girls. 'I am going to be on a MOVIE STAR!!!' 'Me Too!' 'Me Three!' How dumb can you get? At least the polo shirts were intelligent. 'E=MC squared!' 'Light is made of every color!' Maybe too intelligent. And no one ever bought me. The brainiac polos and the Bimbo-Barbie tank tops, yet not me. But the shop was better than the Dursley's.
Oh yes. Marge Dursley bought me for her nephew Dudley. She, at least, admired the quality of my brown wool, the velvety texture of my neon-orange puffballs. She wrapped me up in shiny green paper and sent me as a Christmas gift. Dudley opened me and howled. He loved me so much, he would never wear me! One day, however, Petunia opened Dudley's armoire. She took me out and made him don me.
'Duddy, it's raining and cold! You'll get WET!'
Dudleys screamed he wouldn't wear me, but Petunia triumphed. Dudley wore me to class. That Harvey kid who lives with his family snickered all the way to school. It was awful. People made fun of me. Dudley forgot his umbrella and Harvey didn't have one. I was soaked. Dudley slipped and landed in a mud puddle. He chewed on my neck when called on by the teacher to answer questions. He wiped his runny nose on my sleeve. He tore my arm with his compass. He got eraser bits all over me. He started unravelling my hems. By the time we got home, I was miserable.
Petunia stuck me in the washer. I was put in their hamper and forgotten, until the day that Harvey had no clean clothes. Petunia gave me to him. He hated me. She tried to tug it over her head, but Harvey shrunk me! He shrunk me! It was intolerable! Petunia didn't realize what happened. She thought the dryer was the culprit. But no. It was him.
They shoved me in a closet after disinfecting me, probably because Harvey had nearly worn me. I think they kept me so Marge wouldn't fuss. My new confinement had no cedar chips. In the seven years that have followed, no one has removed me from my prison. I am forgotten and nibbled by moths! It's painful, and all I can talk to are the raincoats. They're so gloomy. I'm getting moldy. My beautiful orange puffballs are falling off. No one will want to wear me. AHHHHHH! Get me out of here, PLEASE!