Koibito Hen
... Strange Lover.
Warnings...
Angst
Yaoi
Violence
Comments... 04.14.01
It's late. Two in the morning when this is completed. *sigh* I am such.. a freak. ^^
Disclaimer...
I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters, although I will keep asking my parents, Santa and the Tooth Fairy
for them until I do. ^_^ Nor am I getting money or any form of payment for this, although I will keep asking my
parents, Santa and the Tooth Fairy for some until I do. ^_^
===================================================
All four Gundam pilots held their breath. No one said anything, so Dr. Bowman continued. "The bullet didn't hit vital organs. What is strange, is that the bullet seemed to dodge everything. The bullet stopped in a very different place than the entry wound. It stopped by the spine, which isn't damaged at all. That's the good news. The bad news is that Mr. Maxwell is in a coma, a very deep one. There's no telling when he'll wake up. His brainwave patterns are very faint right now, and we can't be one hundred percent certain about his mental condition right now. The worse news is," Dr. Bowman paused to see if the others were ready to hear it. Four impatient glares urged him forward. "That it is highly unlikely we can remove the bullet without damaging Duo's spinal cord, which would mean permanent paralysis."
Three anguished cries and a hopeless, strangled sob were the immediate replies to the doctor's news. "Well, can't you just leave it there?" Quatre sighed in desperation. Dr. Bowman gave a humorless smile. "I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way. We have to stop the internal bleeding. Besides, the everyday back strain Duo would experience could cause the bullet to shift into his vertebrae, paralyzing him anyway. Well, we're going to try this operation in about a half hour. Would you like to go see him first?"
They all nodded, but Quatre was scowling at Heero and Heero was glaring right back. "Er... would you like to go in separately?" The question was answered wordlessly, but who would go first? Heero made an exaggerated flourish with his hand and sat back down. Quatre nodded sarcastically at him in gratitude, and Dr. Bowman lead the three off to Duo's room. /If Quatre ever forgives me/ Heero thought vaguely, /I'll have to get him back for that./
But maybe his team mate was right to be pissed. Heero could barely remember what he had done, only painful snatches of memory. And the faint tingling sensation he felt after he... shot Duo, like waking up from a nightmare in a cramped position. He had a feeling everything had something to do with that–
"Heero Yuy?"
Heero looked up and saw Quatre, Trowa and Wufei returning from their visit. They all looked pale and hopeless. Even Quatre passed Heero a worried glance. Dr. Bowman was standing by them, looking at Heero expectantly. He stood up and followed the white coat down the hall. Heero had never been so scared in his life. He felt like he were walking down Death Row a thousands times fold, like he were the one dying, not Duo. But Duo wasn't really dying, was he?
Not yet anyway.
At some point, a male nurse had joined their walk, but Heero was too busy wondering about what Duo would look like. Horrible, desolate images of the boy flashed through his hand, making his breathing tight. Please don't look dead already, Duo... please. He had seen dead bodies before, but he had never seen a dying person before, not a dying person he was close to. Dr. Bowman paused at a door, and Heero felt like he could pass out at that moment. The white coat's hand twisted the knob and pushed upon the door so slowly, Heero felt like he were watching is hand in slow motion. The door opened.
"Oh, God."
It was worse than he had expected. It was real. Duo was wearing one of those hospital gowns, his body peering out from the sleeves and neck. Dark bruises and cuts patterned his arms and face in a sadistic work of art he, himself had made. His visible limbs were so thin and pale the bones nearly showed through his skin. His braid had not been cleaned, blood and dirt making it filthy to touch, a ratty tail from his head. There was an oxygen mask covering most of his face and he was hooked up to so many IVs, Heero didn't bother to count. His thin chest barely moved and when it did, they were small, labored, shuddering breaths.
/Oh, God.. I did this to him.. /
Dr. Bowman had left, but the nurse had not. He stood by the door, arms crossed, obviously there in case Heero tried something. He shot the nurse a deadly glare, who appeared flustered by the look but did not leave. Quatre had probably asked for his visit to be guard. Oh yes, that pilot would pay.
Ignoring his audience, Heero went to Duo's bedside. Damn it, he was almost afraid to touch him, as if he would crumble to dust if their flesh meet. He eventually only grasped the boy's shrunken hand, firmly but gently. "I'm so sorry, Duo," whispered, quietly enough so that the nurse wouldn't hear. He was vaguely surprised that his apology came out so smoothly, and the unfamiliar crackling his voice made, but this was important, even if Duo might not be able to hear. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused for you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day, and I hope you make it out of this in good health. Because you'd probably try riding a wheelchair down the stairs, you dumbass." Heero fought the urge to give a dry chuckle and continued. "Gomen nasai, Duo. Gomen, gomen, gomen, gomen, ai shiteru."
Whoa, where'd that come from? The last phrase at sprung unbidden from his lips. He was surprised he even knew it. Did he really love Duo that much? Yes, he did. He had to. There was no other explanation. He hesitated, and then kissed the boy lightly on his forehead. As he drew back, Heero noticed Duo twitch slightly, a twitch that could only be described as a grimace. As if he were afraid.
/Kuso. Even in a coma, he hates me./
Heero's lip quivered. He couldn't take this. He could take broken bones, bullet wounds, explosions, self destructions, but not the hot white burning agony he felt to see Duo afraid of him, when all he wanted to do was hold Duo in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. God, he was even thinking in poetic terms now. He couldn't take this anymore. He sped past the puzzled nurse, desperately fighting back tears, shoulders hunched, jaw clenched, fists burning little half moons into his palms from his fingernails. He stomped his way back to the waiting room, ignored the others and practically slammed himself into one of the plastic chairs. He cradled his head in his hands, trying to squeeze out the pain and emotion he felt.
Ai shiteru, Duo. I'm so sorry.
===================================================
Ten minutes after Heero re-entered the waiting room, Dr. Bowman returned, announcingthat they were wheeling Duo into the operating room now. He also offered that they go to the waiting room closer to where the surgery would be being done, so they could be quickly notified in case there was a need to be. The room, however, would be smaller and more personal, perhaps even empty. In the end, they all agreed to go. This was Duo's life, and their current dislike would have to be ignored. Even if everything was Heero's fault.
Dr. Bowman led them forth, down the deathly clean halls that smelled of medicine and desolation. The white coat no longer was a white coat: he was wearing surgeon scrubs already, flipping through a pad. After several minutes of silence minus the soft padding of their shoes on the waxed linoleum, the doctor opened the door to a semi-large room. There were windows surrounding the door. The carpet was plum purple, as were the walls. The chairs were larger and softly cushioned, a deeper purple than the rest of the room. A television was mounted in one corner and a child's play table was centered in the room. A table with coffee making supplies and a microwave were set above the television. One of those vending machines that held one course meals that were probably there since the beginning of time was set next to the table. A young woman and a child occupied two of the chairs.
Dr. Bowman smiled at all of them. "There are more vending machines and a restroom down the hall," he announced and then left. They hesitated sitting down until the woman gave them a warm yet shaky smile. "Hi," she said nervously. "I'm Bekah, and that's my son, Jonathon." She indicated the small red headed child who had gone off to play with the table. Everyone hesitated to answer until Quatre, friendly as ever, did. "Hello there. I'm Quatre. That's Trowa, Wufei and.. Heero," he said, pointing to the boy who had taken a seat at the other side of the room, staring vacantly at the shaggy carpet. Bekah nodded.
"Are you all together?" They nodded sadly, and took seats as well.
"Oh. Well, my husband, Brian, he's been sick for quite a while. And we had a really awful incident this morning. Now the doctors are telling us he's got all sorts of problems." Bekah wrung her hands sadly, and Quatre put a comforting arm about her shoulders. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine. Our friend, Duo, got shot," he said, passing Heero, who had curled up in the plush seat, a discreet glare. "They think he might be paralyzed if the operation is or isn't successful. But we're hoping.. " His voice trailed off.
Jonathon had grown tired of the play table and wandered back over to his mother, begging to be picked up. Quatre let her go and she cradled the child. "You should hope as well," he said, smiling. Bekah returned the smile. "Thank you. We will." Trowa passed his helpful lover and caring smile. He was also so sweet, a soft angel who could care for anything. At the moment, he wasn't so sure if Quatre was such a perfect celestial being as the Arabian gave Heero a steady glare that could've melted ice and wilted flowers on the spot.
Meanwhile, Duo still drowned in his lacking sanity, allowing himself to be whisked away further and deeper into his paling subconscious.
===================================================
There were most likely a million things to do in St. Arc Hospital, but the four conscious Gundam pilots were only doing a few. Heero had not moved from his corner, nor had he spoken to any of the others. If a hurricane suddenly whipped through the building, there was little doubt he would move. The only indication he was even alive was the faint rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional blink of his glazed, already half shut eyes.
The others were anything but inactive, or somewhat. There were plenty of things to do, but nothing moved the time any faster. Television was watched, vending machine products were bought and hesitantly eaten, coffee was drank, Jonathon was playing with, and conversations were engaged. It was mind-racking.
The tension of simply waiting had worked its way under all of their skins. The fact that every doctor who walked by the glass window could be the bringer of news, even fifteen minutes into their wait, had driven them onto the brink of insanity. They all rediscovered why they hated hospitals.
Two hours after their entry, the pilots found themselves in an odd state of vacancy, minus Heero, who had been vacant since their arrival. Quatre sat cross-legged near the playtable, flicking around a toy car bored. Jonathon lay by his side, sleeping. Trowa flipped through the channels on the television, not really looking at anything. Next to him, Bekah flipped through magazine after magazine, trying to drown herself in the useless information. A few seats away, Wufei sat upside-down his chair, staring vacantly into space. Heero had not moved.
The sound of the door opening jerked all their heads (minus one) towards the white coat who had just entered. "Mrs Bekah Matters?" He prompted. The woman stood up, staring hopefully at the man's face. "I'm Doctor Johenson, your husband's doctor. I'm very sorry, but Mr Matters has passed. He had a sudden heart failure during the operation. It couldn't be helped. Its unexplainable, since he has no history of heart problems. I'm very sorry." Bekah's eyes filled with tears. She turned away, and put a hand to her head, shaking all over. "No.. no.. he can't be dead. He.. said.. he said he'd be okay. He said he's make it out. No! He's not dead!"
The woman began to cry hysterically, and Quatre leapt up and caught her before she collapsed the spot. She clung to him like a sobbing baby, pleading and denying that the love of her life was not yet gone. Quatre's sudden movement had jostled Jonathon. He walked over and tugged at his mother's dress. "Mommy, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Bekah broke away and kneeled, hugging her son tightly. He gave a laugh, oblivious to the fact he no longer had a daddy. "Hee, l'eggo Mommy! You're hugging too tight." She broke away, and the boy wiped away her tears. "Shh, Mommy. You say big boys don't cry. Well, big girls don't cry too, right?"
"Er.. would you like to see him?" Dr. Johenson asked, breaking the sudden silence. Bekah wiped her face and nodded, standing back up. "Quatre," she said, turning to the boy. "Could you watch Jonathon while I'm gone? He's not quite ready for it." Quatre nodded understandingly, a took the boy's tiny hand. The white coat led Bekah away. "Your mom is coming back, Jon," Quatre said before the kid could protest. "She's just going out for a bit." Jonathon nodded and sat back down at the table, playing. The Sandrock pilot sat next to Trowa and cradled his head in his hands.
"It's unjust," Wufei proclaimed after righting himself from his previous position. "That onna is going to be able to raise this child herself. She's far too weak." "You may be right, Wufei," Trowa replied. "Bekah certainly doesn't seem like the type who could live alone." There were soft murmurs of agreement from the boys as they waited for Jonathon's mother's return.
Heero, who had watched the delivery of Bekah's news discreetly, turned back into his previous fetal position. /God, Duo.
Don't let yourself fall in. Please, I couldn't take it. I'm so sorry... /
===================================================
A few minutes later, Bekah returned. She nodded mutely at the pilots' gentle questions and comforting words. In the end, while she was leading Jonathon off, she thanked them. They realized even more how much they hated hospitals. Things continued on as they had before, with even more vacancy. The tension heightened with the previous incident. Now they knew exactly how it would happen. With four and a half hours in, and they were all at the point of hopelessness, Dr. Bowman made his return. He was looking grim, which kicked in and they emotional braces right away. They stood, even Heero who was several steps away from them all.
"Well. The operation's purpose was successful. The bullet was removed." He had up a glass tube with the bloody object in it as proof. "However, removing the bullet was somewhat of only a secondary purpose. The primary purpose was keeping Duo's spinal cord in tact. Mr. Maxwell's spine was not damaged during the operation, a truly miraculous feat. This doesn't mean he may walk perfectly for the rest of his life. He may have a limp or something, but it's highly doubted."
It was impossible to stifle the relieved grins and sighs. A weak smile even crossed Heero's tired face. "However," Dr. Bowman continued, holding up a hand. "Duo is still in a coma. It's lighter than it was before the operation, but there is still no telling when he may wake up. You all may join him in his room until he wakes up. I warn you, you may be in there for days, weeks, months, perhaps even years. Comas are unpredictable." The four pilots nodded steadily and the white coat lead on.
They then went to Duo's room to await his awakening. The new room was large, since it was currently occupied by the half-dead Shinigami. Machines and wires huddled close to his bed. They stood in silence for several moments before Quatre walked over and sat in the chair beside Duo's bed, closest to the window. Trowa and Wufei took their spots. Heero leaned against the wall across from the bed, facing the sleeping boy. He stared on, a hauntingly blank look on his face. The time then was nine fifty eight, and the boys began their anxious waiting for Duo's eyes to blink open and a sheepish grin to run its away across his face for causing so much worry. The night went on.
Sometime around ten thirty, a special news report came on the television. A pressed young woman who looked more like fifty occupied the screen. "The colonies are rejoicing tonight," she announced, her own excitement barely being suppressed from her voice, "for OZ has finally been defeated... " She then continued on with a lengthy, detailed report on just how OZ was no longer a threat. However, the boys all knew how it had happened. They had planted everything a week before. It was supposed to happen like this. They smiled weakly and turned their eyes upon Duo. They just wished they could be happier.
===================================================
It was two forty four, and their eyes were beginning to droop. Wufei sat on the window ledge, head resting against the icy glass as he watched through bleary eyes at the landscape before him. Quatre had turned the chair backwards and straddled it between his legs, arms crossed and head resting on the backboard. Trowa too sat on the window ledge, hands in his lap and as his attention focused blankly on Duo's still form. Heero was still on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor, arms embracing his legs. His head lolled back and hit the wall with a dull thud, so he could now see Duo slightly over the bridge of his noise. Silence reigned supreme in the room, broken only by the occasional beep from one of the machines Duo was hooked up to.
Normally, Heero wouldn't feel fatigue in the slightest at this hour, but the entire day's happenings had dropped all his guards and he forgot his bodily schedule as images of Duo filled his mind. His eyes were beginning to droop when he heard a commotion going on at the nurses' station right outside the door. They all peered through the door as two burly men a scrawny guy walked in. The two thugs lifted Heero swiftly off the floor, and the shrimp stated, "Heero Yuy, you are under arrest for possession of an illegal system and the interaction of an infamous criminal without the notification of the authorities." The others gaped, mouths hung slack like a chewing cow in slow motion.
"Wait, you can't go in there!" A nurse ran in after the assumed police officers, and at that instant there was a drastic change in Duo's machine patterns. The nurse hurried over and glanced at the machines, then quickly made a call. Before the three cops could make out with Heero, the nurse turned back to them. "You guys can't be in here!" She shouted and ranted, with Heero struggling somewhat as the thugs tried to sneak away. Within a few moments, several other nurses, and Doctor Bowman rushed in. "What's going on?" Three of the Gundam pilots shouted over the noise that had suddenly filled the room.
Doctor Bowman glanced over the three police officers and shrugged. "I have no idea, but Duo is supposedly waking up!" They stood up anxiously, and Heero broke away from the meatheads. "Duo!" He shouted, a strangled cry as they recaptured him again. "Duo!"
===================================================
I can feel... I can feel... no, I can't feel..
Heero is leaving. I could feel his prescence, strongest amongst them all. I can feel Quatre; I can feel his fury at Heero swimming in his concern for me. I can feel Wufei, and I can feel Trowa. But I'm losing Heero.. he's not so strong anymore.
I thought I hated him. I thought I'd die a happy man if I never saw him again. But when I /felt/ him, I could feel the darkness collasping around me. His being so near, I couldn't drown anymore. I bobbed on the edge of the end of my life, his prescense my buoyancy. Without him, I'd sink. I don't love him.. I do love him... I just.. need to talk to him. I need to see him.
But now, he's not so strong, and I was starting to sink again. But I can't have that.. I have to talk to him. I have to. I scuttle away from the murky, shimmering nothingness and scramble after the feeling of Heero.. I can smell him... His scent.. oiling gun grease and fresh cut wood... and.. and.. ah!
I can feel a sharp pain, and I'm suddenly spiraling upward towards the light.. the blinding light.. I.. I..
Heero!
===================================================
There was a stinging in the Perfect Soldier's eyes, as he struggled against the arms that grasped him. "Duo!" His arm had broken free, and he stumbled. The tears were evident now, sparkling singular crystals that splattered through the air. He could barely see the bed now, there were so many bodies in the room. His arm was snatched back violently, jerking his body without mercy. "Ow, fuck! Duo... !"
The God of Death's body was well past twitching now. His back arched up off the bed, as several nurses tried to hold him down. His jaw was clenched tight, chest heaving. Just as his body was nearing a perfect arch, back high and well off the bed, his eyes snapped open, and he gasped, a long agonized moan. "Heero !"
Everything in the room seemed to stop. Bodies moved aside and eyes focused upon the half captured boy with wetness soaking his cheeks. The room fell silent once again. Amethyst eyes met saphire orbs. Duo crumpled back onto the bed.
As if on cue, the noise started again, a incomprehinsble buzz in Heero's ears. All that mattered was Duo... Duo.. needed him. Wait.. what was he talking about? Heero was the last thing in the world Duo needed. But.. but.. Heero needed Duo. He had to know if Duo really hated him or not.
/I think you know that already. Of course he does. He hates you. How could he not?/
'No.. I can't..'
/And why can't he?/
'Because.. I.. love.. '
/You love him? It's safe to say that he doesn't give a shit about you. He said that, before didn't he? You broke him. You cannot be forgiven. Let him go. He'll be better off without you./
'Would he? I can't let him go..'
/Yes, you can. Let him go. Let these men take you away, and you'll never see him again. It's best that way. He doesn't need you./
'He.. doesn't.. need me.. '
/Yes./
Heero's eyes grew glassy and vacant, and he became limp in the men's arms. He was dragged off, never to be seen again. Yes.. Duo hated him. Why stick around and hear the gory details? The war was over. He wasn't needed anymore. In anyone's life. Yes... he was done.
===================================================
The three conscious Gundam pilots couldn't quite believe what they had just seen. Heero had been arrested. And it was he who Duo called out when he awoke. The moment had only lasted five seconds, and Duo passed out once more. However, he was no longer in a coma. Just resting. He was stablized. He would live.
The scrawny police officer, who was Officer Prawn, explained just why Heero had gotten arrested. Wufei and Trowa didn't quite understand, but a smile spread across Quatre's lips when he heard. Perhaps Heero could be forgiven for this.
It wasn't until six in the morning when Duo woke up again. "How are you feeling?" An exhausted Doctor Bowman questioned. Duo blinked tiredly around the room, stifling a yawn. "Other than a flaming pile of crap left on somebody's doorstep, just peachy." Doctor Bowman chuckled. "Great, that's normal." Duo arched an eyebrow. "Really? I've just been asleep for, what, an entire day? I believe I should feel a little refreshed. What the fuck happened to restful slumber?" The white coat scratched the back of his head.
"You're forgetting you went through surgery, Mr Maxwell. You usually feel sore when you wake up from being cut open and having a couple of us doctors stumbling around your outsides."
"Oh, how thoughtful."
The three pilots laughed at the cranky guys' sarcastic exchange. Doctor Bowman left, smiling tiredly, and Duo's expression grew grim when the white coat left. He struggled to sit up, rubbing his eyes. "So, what happened while I was sleeping beauty?" "Heero was arrested," Wufei stated vaguely. Duo spluttered into the cup of water he was drinking. "What? Why? Wait, don't answer that. Nearly killing me, right? And abuse too, huh? Am I right or am I right?"
"Shut up, Duo, and listen," Quatre said, a serious tone in his voice. "Heero installed a new system into his Gundam: the Negative Zero System. It's illegal, and it's been banned in several colonies. How he got his hands on it, I'll never know. But.. it's addictive. It's like a game, that gets in you and controls whatever feelings you may already have. It takes whatever you feel the strongest, and twists it up and ruins it and makes you see it the wrong way. The strongest thing Heero felt was for you, Duo. It's not his fault the System brought it out in the wrong light. The point is, Heero wasn't the one doing those things to you. It wasn't what he wanted. His feelings for you were terribly enlarged and warped by the Negative Zero System. They were made stronger than he could handle, and before he could control them, the System did it for him. Don't you see it yet? He loves you, Duo!"
The Deathscythe pilot stared hard at Quatre. He couldn't accept it... flashes of their nights together pounded in his head. He couldn't take it.. he couldn't.. He exploded. "And whose to say this /was/ what he wanted, Quat? Maybe this all played out just how he pictured it. Heero is stronger than shit like that. And if he wasn't, well, maybe that's what he dreams about. Maybe he fantanizing about slapping Duo Maxwell around like some bitch, huh? Maybe this is what Heero is really about. Either way, I really don't care anymore. I don't. So don't try anymore, Quatre. You're wasting your time."
Duo turned away violently, and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in the sheets that swarthed his legs. He tried to ignore the fact that his shoulders were shaking, and that his cheeks were burning from the tears that flowed freely and without consent from his eyes. He felt a comforting hand on his back, rubbing the tense muscles. "I just don't care...," he choked out. "I dont... "
/If you don't, then why does it hurt so much?/
===================================================
Duo Maxwell could leave the hospital. There was apparently nothing more the doctors could do for him. He was out of his coma, he could walk perfectly, there was nothing else wrong, so there was no reason to stay. He just needed to rest up, and he'd be in perfect condition in no time.
Wufei, Trowa and Quatre huddled around Duo has he zipped up a free duffel bag he had gotten, that held some stuff he needed to fully recover. He had washed his hair, but his head still hurt too much to braid it up, so he tied it back in a loose ponytail. He was wearing an oversized black tee shirt and jeans. The shirt was so large, it nearly hung off his shoulders, and the bandages that looped his collar were visible. He slung the bag over the opposite shoulder and turned to his friends.
"Well," was he said. "Well," they all uttered back. He smiled. "Thanks. All of you. It's been real." They all nodded, melancholic grins tugging at their lips. "Wu-man, always able to /not/ take a good joke and chase me around with a sword. Thanks for the great workout." Wufei snorted but smiled anyway. "Trowa, being the strong, silent guy that was the best to all of us. Never joked about you, you never said anything so I was kind of afraid of what you were capable of. Thanks anyway." Trowa shook his head, the hints of a smile playing on his face. "Quat. Man. The best /in/ all of the us. The peacekeeper. The friend. Thank you so much." Quatre smiled, sniffling. "Aw, this is too much to bear. Group hug!" They all groaned miserably, but gave in to Duo's antics and hugged together.
"I hate to say this," Wufei said, eyes shining bright, "I'm going to miss your skinny ass." Duo arched an eyebrow and looked over his shoulder. "It's really that skinny?" Wufei rolled his eyes and they groaned again. "Mostly the bad jokes," Trowa said, smiling. Duo laughed. "I suppose I'm going to miss getting yelled at for them. But hey, this isn't goodbye, right? I'm sure one of these days we'll see each other again. On the street or in a bar. You know." They all nodded. "Yeah, fate can't keep us apart for too long. We'll see each other again." Quatre smiled.
A genuine smile crossed Duo's lips as he wiped his eyes. "Well, looks like my ride is here." They all turned to the nurse who was wheeling in a wheelchair. Wufei snorted distasteufully. "Why do you have to ride in that thing? You're perfectly capable of walking yourself." The nurse shrugged. "Hospital policy. Hop in, Mr. Maxwell." And Duo did. Hop in, that is.
He peered up, grinning. "Anybody wanna see me to the car?" They all shrugged and nodded. This might be the last time they'd see their friend for a while. Might as well make the best of it.
The trip outside went on in silence. Duo was dying to grab the wheels and hurtle at a breakneck speed down the halls. He always wented to do something like that anyway, even if it did break his neck. But right now, he just didn't feel the need to. Eventually they made it to the main entrance, and Duo was allowed to get out of the wheelchair. The nurse smiled and wished him luck, and went back into the hospital. A sleek black car was waiting outside. The four walked over to it. Duo turned to them, regarding each wordlessly. They hugged again and Duo hopped into the passenger seat. Words were not needed. They would return someday. They waved as the car pulled out and left the hospital. Someday.
===================================================
I decided last night I would start over. The war is done with, and I am no longer needed for that. I always wanted a peaceful life, or some kind of existance where its threatened to be destroyed at any second. I'm not quite sure what I want to do yet, but there's plenty of time to decide. It'll be fun.
Heero. Do I really care that much about him? I guess I do. I've got mixed feelings about that pilot. I can't tell you if I hate him or not. Something like that isn't easily forgiven, and without him to tell him exactly how he feels, I've only got my mental battles to talk with. It's not that I mind. There are some voices you've just got to listen to. It just gets kind of hard to figure out which ones.
I'm not going to miss Heero Yuy. He's going to be in my mind, forever. I'm not sure what I feel about this quite yet, but there's plenty of time to figure that out. I'm certain of two things, however.
I am Duo Maxwell and I have been shot by the only person I have ever loved.
.... Owari.
===================================================
04. 14. 01 : 2:11 AM. Completed.
... Strange Lover.
Warnings...
Angst
Yaoi
Violence
Comments... 04.14.01
It's late. Two in the morning when this is completed. *sigh* I am such.. a freak. ^^
Disclaimer...
I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters, although I will keep asking my parents, Santa and the Tooth Fairy
for them until I do. ^_^ Nor am I getting money or any form of payment for this, although I will keep asking my
parents, Santa and the Tooth Fairy for some until I do. ^_^
===================================================
All four Gundam pilots held their breath. No one said anything, so Dr. Bowman continued. "The bullet didn't hit vital organs. What is strange, is that the bullet seemed to dodge everything. The bullet stopped in a very different place than the entry wound. It stopped by the spine, which isn't damaged at all. That's the good news. The bad news is that Mr. Maxwell is in a coma, a very deep one. There's no telling when he'll wake up. His brainwave patterns are very faint right now, and we can't be one hundred percent certain about his mental condition right now. The worse news is," Dr. Bowman paused to see if the others were ready to hear it. Four impatient glares urged him forward. "That it is highly unlikely we can remove the bullet without damaging Duo's spinal cord, which would mean permanent paralysis."
Three anguished cries and a hopeless, strangled sob were the immediate replies to the doctor's news. "Well, can't you just leave it there?" Quatre sighed in desperation. Dr. Bowman gave a humorless smile. "I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way. We have to stop the internal bleeding. Besides, the everyday back strain Duo would experience could cause the bullet to shift into his vertebrae, paralyzing him anyway. Well, we're going to try this operation in about a half hour. Would you like to go see him first?"
They all nodded, but Quatre was scowling at Heero and Heero was glaring right back. "Er... would you like to go in separately?" The question was answered wordlessly, but who would go first? Heero made an exaggerated flourish with his hand and sat back down. Quatre nodded sarcastically at him in gratitude, and Dr. Bowman lead the three off to Duo's room. /If Quatre ever forgives me/ Heero thought vaguely, /I'll have to get him back for that./
But maybe his team mate was right to be pissed. Heero could barely remember what he had done, only painful snatches of memory. And the faint tingling sensation he felt after he... shot Duo, like waking up from a nightmare in a cramped position. He had a feeling everything had something to do with that–
"Heero Yuy?"
Heero looked up and saw Quatre, Trowa and Wufei returning from their visit. They all looked pale and hopeless. Even Quatre passed Heero a worried glance. Dr. Bowman was standing by them, looking at Heero expectantly. He stood up and followed the white coat down the hall. Heero had never been so scared in his life. He felt like he were walking down Death Row a thousands times fold, like he were the one dying, not Duo. But Duo wasn't really dying, was he?
Not yet anyway.
At some point, a male nurse had joined their walk, but Heero was too busy wondering about what Duo would look like. Horrible, desolate images of the boy flashed through his hand, making his breathing tight. Please don't look dead already, Duo... please. He had seen dead bodies before, but he had never seen a dying person before, not a dying person he was close to. Dr. Bowman paused at a door, and Heero felt like he could pass out at that moment. The white coat's hand twisted the knob and pushed upon the door so slowly, Heero felt like he were watching is hand in slow motion. The door opened.
"Oh, God."
It was worse than he had expected. It was real. Duo was wearing one of those hospital gowns, his body peering out from the sleeves and neck. Dark bruises and cuts patterned his arms and face in a sadistic work of art he, himself had made. His visible limbs were so thin and pale the bones nearly showed through his skin. His braid had not been cleaned, blood and dirt making it filthy to touch, a ratty tail from his head. There was an oxygen mask covering most of his face and he was hooked up to so many IVs, Heero didn't bother to count. His thin chest barely moved and when it did, they were small, labored, shuddering breaths.
/Oh, God.. I did this to him.. /
Dr. Bowman had left, but the nurse had not. He stood by the door, arms crossed, obviously there in case Heero tried something. He shot the nurse a deadly glare, who appeared flustered by the look but did not leave. Quatre had probably asked for his visit to be guard. Oh yes, that pilot would pay.
Ignoring his audience, Heero went to Duo's bedside. Damn it, he was almost afraid to touch him, as if he would crumble to dust if their flesh meet. He eventually only grasped the boy's shrunken hand, firmly but gently. "I'm so sorry, Duo," whispered, quietly enough so that the nurse wouldn't hear. He was vaguely surprised that his apology came out so smoothly, and the unfamiliar crackling his voice made, but this was important, even if Duo might not be able to hear. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused for you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day, and I hope you make it out of this in good health. Because you'd probably try riding a wheelchair down the stairs, you dumbass." Heero fought the urge to give a dry chuckle and continued. "Gomen nasai, Duo. Gomen, gomen, gomen, gomen, ai shiteru."
Whoa, where'd that come from? The last phrase at sprung unbidden from his lips. He was surprised he even knew it. Did he really love Duo that much? Yes, he did. He had to. There was no other explanation. He hesitated, and then kissed the boy lightly on his forehead. As he drew back, Heero noticed Duo twitch slightly, a twitch that could only be described as a grimace. As if he were afraid.
/Kuso. Even in a coma, he hates me./
Heero's lip quivered. He couldn't take this. He could take broken bones, bullet wounds, explosions, self destructions, but not the hot white burning agony he felt to see Duo afraid of him, when all he wanted to do was hold Duo in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. God, he was even thinking in poetic terms now. He couldn't take this anymore. He sped past the puzzled nurse, desperately fighting back tears, shoulders hunched, jaw clenched, fists burning little half moons into his palms from his fingernails. He stomped his way back to the waiting room, ignored the others and practically slammed himself into one of the plastic chairs. He cradled his head in his hands, trying to squeeze out the pain and emotion he felt.
Ai shiteru, Duo. I'm so sorry.
===================================================
Ten minutes after Heero re-entered the waiting room, Dr. Bowman returned, announcingthat they were wheeling Duo into the operating room now. He also offered that they go to the waiting room closer to where the surgery would be being done, so they could be quickly notified in case there was a need to be. The room, however, would be smaller and more personal, perhaps even empty. In the end, they all agreed to go. This was Duo's life, and their current dislike would have to be ignored. Even if everything was Heero's fault.
Dr. Bowman led them forth, down the deathly clean halls that smelled of medicine and desolation. The white coat no longer was a white coat: he was wearing surgeon scrubs already, flipping through a pad. After several minutes of silence minus the soft padding of their shoes on the waxed linoleum, the doctor opened the door to a semi-large room. There were windows surrounding the door. The carpet was plum purple, as were the walls. The chairs were larger and softly cushioned, a deeper purple than the rest of the room. A television was mounted in one corner and a child's play table was centered in the room. A table with coffee making supplies and a microwave were set above the television. One of those vending machines that held one course meals that were probably there since the beginning of time was set next to the table. A young woman and a child occupied two of the chairs.
Dr. Bowman smiled at all of them. "There are more vending machines and a restroom down the hall," he announced and then left. They hesitated sitting down until the woman gave them a warm yet shaky smile. "Hi," she said nervously. "I'm Bekah, and that's my son, Jonathon." She indicated the small red headed child who had gone off to play with the table. Everyone hesitated to answer until Quatre, friendly as ever, did. "Hello there. I'm Quatre. That's Trowa, Wufei and.. Heero," he said, pointing to the boy who had taken a seat at the other side of the room, staring vacantly at the shaggy carpet. Bekah nodded.
"Are you all together?" They nodded sadly, and took seats as well.
"Oh. Well, my husband, Brian, he's been sick for quite a while. And we had a really awful incident this morning. Now the doctors are telling us he's got all sorts of problems." Bekah wrung her hands sadly, and Quatre put a comforting arm about her shoulders. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine. Our friend, Duo, got shot," he said, passing Heero, who had curled up in the plush seat, a discreet glare. "They think he might be paralyzed if the operation is or isn't successful. But we're hoping.. " His voice trailed off.
Jonathon had grown tired of the play table and wandered back over to his mother, begging to be picked up. Quatre let her go and she cradled the child. "You should hope as well," he said, smiling. Bekah returned the smile. "Thank you. We will." Trowa passed his helpful lover and caring smile. He was also so sweet, a soft angel who could care for anything. At the moment, he wasn't so sure if Quatre was such a perfect celestial being as the Arabian gave Heero a steady glare that could've melted ice and wilted flowers on the spot.
Meanwhile, Duo still drowned in his lacking sanity, allowing himself to be whisked away further and deeper into his paling subconscious.
===================================================
There were most likely a million things to do in St. Arc Hospital, but the four conscious Gundam pilots were only doing a few. Heero had not moved from his corner, nor had he spoken to any of the others. If a hurricane suddenly whipped through the building, there was little doubt he would move. The only indication he was even alive was the faint rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional blink of his glazed, already half shut eyes.
The others were anything but inactive, or somewhat. There were plenty of things to do, but nothing moved the time any faster. Television was watched, vending machine products were bought and hesitantly eaten, coffee was drank, Jonathon was playing with, and conversations were engaged. It was mind-racking.
The tension of simply waiting had worked its way under all of their skins. The fact that every doctor who walked by the glass window could be the bringer of news, even fifteen minutes into their wait, had driven them onto the brink of insanity. They all rediscovered why they hated hospitals.
Two hours after their entry, the pilots found themselves in an odd state of vacancy, minus Heero, who had been vacant since their arrival. Quatre sat cross-legged near the playtable, flicking around a toy car bored. Jonathon lay by his side, sleeping. Trowa flipped through the channels on the television, not really looking at anything. Next to him, Bekah flipped through magazine after magazine, trying to drown herself in the useless information. A few seats away, Wufei sat upside-down his chair, staring vacantly into space. Heero had not moved.
The sound of the door opening jerked all their heads (minus one) towards the white coat who had just entered. "Mrs Bekah Matters?" He prompted. The woman stood up, staring hopefully at the man's face. "I'm Doctor Johenson, your husband's doctor. I'm very sorry, but Mr Matters has passed. He had a sudden heart failure during the operation. It couldn't be helped. Its unexplainable, since he has no history of heart problems. I'm very sorry." Bekah's eyes filled with tears. She turned away, and put a hand to her head, shaking all over. "No.. no.. he can't be dead. He.. said.. he said he'd be okay. He said he's make it out. No! He's not dead!"
The woman began to cry hysterically, and Quatre leapt up and caught her before she collapsed the spot. She clung to him like a sobbing baby, pleading and denying that the love of her life was not yet gone. Quatre's sudden movement had jostled Jonathon. He walked over and tugged at his mother's dress. "Mommy, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Bekah broke away and kneeled, hugging her son tightly. He gave a laugh, oblivious to the fact he no longer had a daddy. "Hee, l'eggo Mommy! You're hugging too tight." She broke away, and the boy wiped away her tears. "Shh, Mommy. You say big boys don't cry. Well, big girls don't cry too, right?"
"Er.. would you like to see him?" Dr. Johenson asked, breaking the sudden silence. Bekah wiped her face and nodded, standing back up. "Quatre," she said, turning to the boy. "Could you watch Jonathon while I'm gone? He's not quite ready for it." Quatre nodded understandingly, a took the boy's tiny hand. The white coat led Bekah away. "Your mom is coming back, Jon," Quatre said before the kid could protest. "She's just going out for a bit." Jonathon nodded and sat back down at the table, playing. The Sandrock pilot sat next to Trowa and cradled his head in his hands.
"It's unjust," Wufei proclaimed after righting himself from his previous position. "That onna is going to be able to raise this child herself. She's far too weak." "You may be right, Wufei," Trowa replied. "Bekah certainly doesn't seem like the type who could live alone." There were soft murmurs of agreement from the boys as they waited for Jonathon's mother's return.
Heero, who had watched the delivery of Bekah's news discreetly, turned back into his previous fetal position. /God, Duo.
Don't let yourself fall in. Please, I couldn't take it. I'm so sorry... /
===================================================
A few minutes later, Bekah returned. She nodded mutely at the pilots' gentle questions and comforting words. In the end, while she was leading Jonathon off, she thanked them. They realized even more how much they hated hospitals. Things continued on as they had before, with even more vacancy. The tension heightened with the previous incident. Now they knew exactly how it would happen. With four and a half hours in, and they were all at the point of hopelessness, Dr. Bowman made his return. He was looking grim, which kicked in and they emotional braces right away. They stood, even Heero who was several steps away from them all.
"Well. The operation's purpose was successful. The bullet was removed." He had up a glass tube with the bloody object in it as proof. "However, removing the bullet was somewhat of only a secondary purpose. The primary purpose was keeping Duo's spinal cord in tact. Mr. Maxwell's spine was not damaged during the operation, a truly miraculous feat. This doesn't mean he may walk perfectly for the rest of his life. He may have a limp or something, but it's highly doubted."
It was impossible to stifle the relieved grins and sighs. A weak smile even crossed Heero's tired face. "However," Dr. Bowman continued, holding up a hand. "Duo is still in a coma. It's lighter than it was before the operation, but there is still no telling when he may wake up. You all may join him in his room until he wakes up. I warn you, you may be in there for days, weeks, months, perhaps even years. Comas are unpredictable." The four pilots nodded steadily and the white coat lead on.
They then went to Duo's room to await his awakening. The new room was large, since it was currently occupied by the half-dead Shinigami. Machines and wires huddled close to his bed. They stood in silence for several moments before Quatre walked over and sat in the chair beside Duo's bed, closest to the window. Trowa and Wufei took their spots. Heero leaned against the wall across from the bed, facing the sleeping boy. He stared on, a hauntingly blank look on his face. The time then was nine fifty eight, and the boys began their anxious waiting for Duo's eyes to blink open and a sheepish grin to run its away across his face for causing so much worry. The night went on.
Sometime around ten thirty, a special news report came on the television. A pressed young woman who looked more like fifty occupied the screen. "The colonies are rejoicing tonight," she announced, her own excitement barely being suppressed from her voice, "for OZ has finally been defeated... " She then continued on with a lengthy, detailed report on just how OZ was no longer a threat. However, the boys all knew how it had happened. They had planted everything a week before. It was supposed to happen like this. They smiled weakly and turned their eyes upon Duo. They just wished they could be happier.
===================================================
It was two forty four, and their eyes were beginning to droop. Wufei sat on the window ledge, head resting against the icy glass as he watched through bleary eyes at the landscape before him. Quatre had turned the chair backwards and straddled it between his legs, arms crossed and head resting on the backboard. Trowa too sat on the window ledge, hands in his lap and as his attention focused blankly on Duo's still form. Heero was still on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor, arms embracing his legs. His head lolled back and hit the wall with a dull thud, so he could now see Duo slightly over the bridge of his noise. Silence reigned supreme in the room, broken only by the occasional beep from one of the machines Duo was hooked up to.
Normally, Heero wouldn't feel fatigue in the slightest at this hour, but the entire day's happenings had dropped all his guards and he forgot his bodily schedule as images of Duo filled his mind. His eyes were beginning to droop when he heard a commotion going on at the nurses' station right outside the door. They all peered through the door as two burly men a scrawny guy walked in. The two thugs lifted Heero swiftly off the floor, and the shrimp stated, "Heero Yuy, you are under arrest for possession of an illegal system and the interaction of an infamous criminal without the notification of the authorities." The others gaped, mouths hung slack like a chewing cow in slow motion.
"Wait, you can't go in there!" A nurse ran in after the assumed police officers, and at that instant there was a drastic change in Duo's machine patterns. The nurse hurried over and glanced at the machines, then quickly made a call. Before the three cops could make out with Heero, the nurse turned back to them. "You guys can't be in here!" She shouted and ranted, with Heero struggling somewhat as the thugs tried to sneak away. Within a few moments, several other nurses, and Doctor Bowman rushed in. "What's going on?" Three of the Gundam pilots shouted over the noise that had suddenly filled the room.
Doctor Bowman glanced over the three police officers and shrugged. "I have no idea, but Duo is supposedly waking up!" They stood up anxiously, and Heero broke away from the meatheads. "Duo!" He shouted, a strangled cry as they recaptured him again. "Duo!"
===================================================
I can feel... I can feel... no, I can't feel..
Heero is leaving. I could feel his prescence, strongest amongst them all. I can feel Quatre; I can feel his fury at Heero swimming in his concern for me. I can feel Wufei, and I can feel Trowa. But I'm losing Heero.. he's not so strong anymore.
I thought I hated him. I thought I'd die a happy man if I never saw him again. But when I /felt/ him, I could feel the darkness collasping around me. His being so near, I couldn't drown anymore. I bobbed on the edge of the end of my life, his prescense my buoyancy. Without him, I'd sink. I don't love him.. I do love him... I just.. need to talk to him. I need to see him.
But now, he's not so strong, and I was starting to sink again. But I can't have that.. I have to talk to him. I have to. I scuttle away from the murky, shimmering nothingness and scramble after the feeling of Heero.. I can smell him... His scent.. oiling gun grease and fresh cut wood... and.. and.. ah!
I can feel a sharp pain, and I'm suddenly spiraling upward towards the light.. the blinding light.. I.. I..
Heero!
===================================================
There was a stinging in the Perfect Soldier's eyes, as he struggled against the arms that grasped him. "Duo!" His arm had broken free, and he stumbled. The tears were evident now, sparkling singular crystals that splattered through the air. He could barely see the bed now, there were so many bodies in the room. His arm was snatched back violently, jerking his body without mercy. "Ow, fuck! Duo... !"
The God of Death's body was well past twitching now. His back arched up off the bed, as several nurses tried to hold him down. His jaw was clenched tight, chest heaving. Just as his body was nearing a perfect arch, back high and well off the bed, his eyes snapped open, and he gasped, a long agonized moan. "Heero !"
Everything in the room seemed to stop. Bodies moved aside and eyes focused upon the half captured boy with wetness soaking his cheeks. The room fell silent once again. Amethyst eyes met saphire orbs. Duo crumpled back onto the bed.
As if on cue, the noise started again, a incomprehinsble buzz in Heero's ears. All that mattered was Duo... Duo.. needed him. Wait.. what was he talking about? Heero was the last thing in the world Duo needed. But.. but.. Heero needed Duo. He had to know if Duo really hated him or not.
/I think you know that already. Of course he does. He hates you. How could he not?/
'No.. I can't..'
/And why can't he?/
'Because.. I.. love.. '
/You love him? It's safe to say that he doesn't give a shit about you. He said that, before didn't he? You broke him. You cannot be forgiven. Let him go. He'll be better off without you./
'Would he? I can't let him go..'
/Yes, you can. Let him go. Let these men take you away, and you'll never see him again. It's best that way. He doesn't need you./
'He.. doesn't.. need me.. '
/Yes./
Heero's eyes grew glassy and vacant, and he became limp in the men's arms. He was dragged off, never to be seen again. Yes.. Duo hated him. Why stick around and hear the gory details? The war was over. He wasn't needed anymore. In anyone's life. Yes... he was done.
===================================================
The three conscious Gundam pilots couldn't quite believe what they had just seen. Heero had been arrested. And it was he who Duo called out when he awoke. The moment had only lasted five seconds, and Duo passed out once more. However, he was no longer in a coma. Just resting. He was stablized. He would live.
The scrawny police officer, who was Officer Prawn, explained just why Heero had gotten arrested. Wufei and Trowa didn't quite understand, but a smile spread across Quatre's lips when he heard. Perhaps Heero could be forgiven for this.
It wasn't until six in the morning when Duo woke up again. "How are you feeling?" An exhausted Doctor Bowman questioned. Duo blinked tiredly around the room, stifling a yawn. "Other than a flaming pile of crap left on somebody's doorstep, just peachy." Doctor Bowman chuckled. "Great, that's normal." Duo arched an eyebrow. "Really? I've just been asleep for, what, an entire day? I believe I should feel a little refreshed. What the fuck happened to restful slumber?" The white coat scratched the back of his head.
"You're forgetting you went through surgery, Mr Maxwell. You usually feel sore when you wake up from being cut open and having a couple of us doctors stumbling around your outsides."
"Oh, how thoughtful."
The three pilots laughed at the cranky guys' sarcastic exchange. Doctor Bowman left, smiling tiredly, and Duo's expression grew grim when the white coat left. He struggled to sit up, rubbing his eyes. "So, what happened while I was sleeping beauty?" "Heero was arrested," Wufei stated vaguely. Duo spluttered into the cup of water he was drinking. "What? Why? Wait, don't answer that. Nearly killing me, right? And abuse too, huh? Am I right or am I right?"
"Shut up, Duo, and listen," Quatre said, a serious tone in his voice. "Heero installed a new system into his Gundam: the Negative Zero System. It's illegal, and it's been banned in several colonies. How he got his hands on it, I'll never know. But.. it's addictive. It's like a game, that gets in you and controls whatever feelings you may already have. It takes whatever you feel the strongest, and twists it up and ruins it and makes you see it the wrong way. The strongest thing Heero felt was for you, Duo. It's not his fault the System brought it out in the wrong light. The point is, Heero wasn't the one doing those things to you. It wasn't what he wanted. His feelings for you were terribly enlarged and warped by the Negative Zero System. They were made stronger than he could handle, and before he could control them, the System did it for him. Don't you see it yet? He loves you, Duo!"
The Deathscythe pilot stared hard at Quatre. He couldn't accept it... flashes of their nights together pounded in his head. He couldn't take it.. he couldn't.. He exploded. "And whose to say this /was/ what he wanted, Quat? Maybe this all played out just how he pictured it. Heero is stronger than shit like that. And if he wasn't, well, maybe that's what he dreams about. Maybe he fantanizing about slapping Duo Maxwell around like some bitch, huh? Maybe this is what Heero is really about. Either way, I really don't care anymore. I don't. So don't try anymore, Quatre. You're wasting your time."
Duo turned away violently, and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in the sheets that swarthed his legs. He tried to ignore the fact that his shoulders were shaking, and that his cheeks were burning from the tears that flowed freely and without consent from his eyes. He felt a comforting hand on his back, rubbing the tense muscles. "I just don't care...," he choked out. "I dont... "
/If you don't, then why does it hurt so much?/
===================================================
Duo Maxwell could leave the hospital. There was apparently nothing more the doctors could do for him. He was out of his coma, he could walk perfectly, there was nothing else wrong, so there was no reason to stay. He just needed to rest up, and he'd be in perfect condition in no time.
Wufei, Trowa and Quatre huddled around Duo has he zipped up a free duffel bag he had gotten, that held some stuff he needed to fully recover. He had washed his hair, but his head still hurt too much to braid it up, so he tied it back in a loose ponytail. He was wearing an oversized black tee shirt and jeans. The shirt was so large, it nearly hung off his shoulders, and the bandages that looped his collar were visible. He slung the bag over the opposite shoulder and turned to his friends.
"Well," was he said. "Well," they all uttered back. He smiled. "Thanks. All of you. It's been real." They all nodded, melancholic grins tugging at their lips. "Wu-man, always able to /not/ take a good joke and chase me around with a sword. Thanks for the great workout." Wufei snorted but smiled anyway. "Trowa, being the strong, silent guy that was the best to all of us. Never joked about you, you never said anything so I was kind of afraid of what you were capable of. Thanks anyway." Trowa shook his head, the hints of a smile playing on his face. "Quat. Man. The best /in/ all of the us. The peacekeeper. The friend. Thank you so much." Quatre smiled, sniffling. "Aw, this is too much to bear. Group hug!" They all groaned miserably, but gave in to Duo's antics and hugged together.
"I hate to say this," Wufei said, eyes shining bright, "I'm going to miss your skinny ass." Duo arched an eyebrow and looked over his shoulder. "It's really that skinny?" Wufei rolled his eyes and they groaned again. "Mostly the bad jokes," Trowa said, smiling. Duo laughed. "I suppose I'm going to miss getting yelled at for them. But hey, this isn't goodbye, right? I'm sure one of these days we'll see each other again. On the street or in a bar. You know." They all nodded. "Yeah, fate can't keep us apart for too long. We'll see each other again." Quatre smiled.
A genuine smile crossed Duo's lips as he wiped his eyes. "Well, looks like my ride is here." They all turned to the nurse who was wheeling in a wheelchair. Wufei snorted distasteufully. "Why do you have to ride in that thing? You're perfectly capable of walking yourself." The nurse shrugged. "Hospital policy. Hop in, Mr. Maxwell." And Duo did. Hop in, that is.
He peered up, grinning. "Anybody wanna see me to the car?" They all shrugged and nodded. This might be the last time they'd see their friend for a while. Might as well make the best of it.
The trip outside went on in silence. Duo was dying to grab the wheels and hurtle at a breakneck speed down the halls. He always wented to do something like that anyway, even if it did break his neck. But right now, he just didn't feel the need to. Eventually they made it to the main entrance, and Duo was allowed to get out of the wheelchair. The nurse smiled and wished him luck, and went back into the hospital. A sleek black car was waiting outside. The four walked over to it. Duo turned to them, regarding each wordlessly. They hugged again and Duo hopped into the passenger seat. Words were not needed. They would return someday. They waved as the car pulled out and left the hospital. Someday.
===================================================
I decided last night I would start over. The war is done with, and I am no longer needed for that. I always wanted a peaceful life, or some kind of existance where its threatened to be destroyed at any second. I'm not quite sure what I want to do yet, but there's plenty of time to decide. It'll be fun.
Heero. Do I really care that much about him? I guess I do. I've got mixed feelings about that pilot. I can't tell you if I hate him or not. Something like that isn't easily forgiven, and without him to tell him exactly how he feels, I've only got my mental battles to talk with. It's not that I mind. There are some voices you've just got to listen to. It just gets kind of hard to figure out which ones.
I'm not going to miss Heero Yuy. He's going to be in my mind, forever. I'm not sure what I feel about this quite yet, but there's plenty of time to figure that out. I'm certain of two things, however.
I am Duo Maxwell and I have been shot by the only person I have ever loved.
.... Owari.
===================================================
04. 14. 01 : 2:11 AM. Completed.