Disclaimer: In part one!
Authors Note: Okay, I apologize ahead of time for how bad a transition this part is from part six. I'm sorry!! Hope ya like it!!
CHAPTER 16
Two weeks later
They'd only returned to Four Corners days ago and now she was gone. He couldn't believe it. He'd really thought that she'd turned over a new leaf upon Ezra's survival, recovery, and quick return to Four Corners. However, she'd left without telling a soul and leaving nothing behind but a sealed envelope. Ezra didn't know of her leaving yet, they'd only talked when he first regained consciousness yesterday. Even then, very little was said although anyone who could see and hear knew something highly important had transpired between the two. Chris had really thought Maude would stay by her son's side. He didn't know how Ezra would handle this. All Chris could think was that that letter better be good.
~*~
The light crystallized in his eyes as he once again reached a state of consciousness. While his injuries were bad he was recovering quickly. He couldn't help but believe that that had something to do with this new inner peace that had mysteriously (or perhaps not) materialized within himself. All his penned up anger-at many people dead and living-all the penned up pain he'd held inside for so long had finally come to a head. He truly felt like a new man. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Even his mother seemed more relaxed, more contented. He knew that his peace came from finally facing inner and outer demons and for once in his mostly miserable life winning and coming home-oh there's that word again- to his happy life. A life he enjoyed, that made him feel good inside, a life, full of friendship and free of loneliness. Despite the weakness and pain he was physically feeling he knew he would heal and he knew that he'd never have to face the demons alone again.
"Ezra," Chris' stern voice cut through Ezra's contented reverie.
"Hello, Mr. Larabee," Ezra responded completely unaware of the new emotional burden Chris was about to drop on his shoulders.
"I got somethin' ta tell ya, it ain't so good," Chris said in his typical way, wasting no time with formalities.
"What would be?" Ezra asked, immediately on guard, knowing that the news that Chris brought was worse the 'ain't so good' due to his leader's his tone and manner.
"Your mother, she left," Chris said quickly as if speaking more quickly would take some of the pain of his words away. Briefly Chris had hoped that Ezra wouldn't be that bothered by it. It wasn't like he had ever seen his mother act maternally; maybe he would have expected this. However as Chris looked into the gambler's face he knew immediately that those hopes were in vain.
~*~
Buck Wilmington was an unmitigated pain in the ass. No two ways about it. The man was a worse patient then Chris and Vin put together. He wouldn't, or maybe he couldn't, sit still for more then two minutes at a time. His injuries were still in an important healing stage, Nathan knew and had told Buck (more then once) that he had to relax. To which Buck typically (actually all the time) replied that the only way he could stay relaxed in bed was when a "lovely lady" accompanied him. Plus, he never shut-up, he insisted on constantly regaling Nathan (and anyone else within the vicinity-even some who weren't) of his many escapades with the many ladies he'd been in the "company" of in his time.
Nathan was seriously thinking about just telling Buck to get out. He was quickly losing control and was beginning to fear for the ladies man's life. Because if Buck didn't sit still and shut up real soon, Nathan might just be forced to kill him.
~*~
"She left," Ezra spoke softly. His voice cracking just slightly the tone mirroring perfectly the sadness he felt inside.
"She left ya this," Chris offered once again hoping that this was good as he reached into his pocket and offered the letter to Ezra who reached timidly for it and grasped with a weak grip.
"Thank you," Ezra murmured as he studied the elegant handwriting that had printed his name on the front of the envelope. Chris chose that time to make his quiet exit, feeling that the man had the right to be alone while reading his letter and hating to get anymore into this than he already was.
Ezra barely noticed Chris leaving the room as he continued to study the letter closely. Finally, upon really realizing that Chris was gone and he had some solitude, he opened the letter and read his mothers elegant pen:
Dear Ezra,
I am not be sure whether or not you will even wish to see me, after all of my deplorable behavior over the years; behavior which I now deeply regret. I also apologize for leaving you but I couldn't stay any longer. I needed to be here, and I think it is about time that you saw this place as well. In fact, I believe your visit here is long overdo. I will be here for over three months. So when Mr. Jackson says (and only then) I ask that you come here. Of course the choice is yours, but I do think it's long, long overdo that I finally tell you about your father. You and he both deserve that much. I truly believe this will bring both of us peace, and perhaps give you some insight into my past behavior, though there are no valid excuses. I hope you will come here, however know that if you don't write me or show up in the next three months I will most certainly understand. The choice is yours and yours alone; I do not want to pressure you in any way. This must be your choice.
I love you dearly and always,
Mother
I am located in Mellow Springs, South Carolina, you'll remember where it is, I believe. Go to the old Markson Plantation, you'll find it's remnants then further along the old road a smaller house. Simply knock and tell whomever answers that you're looking for me. They'll tell you where I can be found.
He wouldn't have even considered going, not after his own mother would hurt him like this again. Except her words sounded so honest, so truthful. Something that was so unlike his mother that he was intrigued by them. Also, he'd always wanted to know about his father but she'd never seemed very open to that line of conversation. He supposed in truth that it was an honest need, or perhaps just a want that he would finally get to have a mother. He had wished for such a thing for so long, it almost seemed like an unreachable thing. And to think, she said she would tell him about his father! He wanted that for so long. He'd built his father's image up so much. What if the man was scum, or didn't live up to the super-human figure Ezra had made up in his mind as a child and through his adulthood.
Yes, he would have to go to his mother. In fact, the more he thought about it the more curious he became. This was one conversation he most certainly and honestly needed, wanted, dreamed of.
~*~
The scene in which Nathan Jackson arrived just in time to see was one that nearly gave him a heart attack. Through all this healing he'd had to do over the past weeks (between Buck and Ezra and the normal assorted injuries that he saw daily) the one bright spot was that Ezra hadn't been his normal total-pain-in-the-ass self. He'd been relatively pleasant (especially considering that his injuries were long healing and very painful), he'd lay still, he'd even taken the medicine with minimal complaints. Ezra had truly been a model patient…until now.
As far as Nathan was concerned Ezra would need to be in bed at least a few more weeks before he was healed enough to move back to his room (even then he should rest there a few more days and take it real easy). However as Nathan walked into his room in the clinic he found a very distressing scene. Knowing how uncomfortable Ezra was in his nightclothes in front of so many people they'd brought him a large amount of his regular wardrobe, just to make the man happy. Now, to Nathan's extreme dismay, he watched, jaw agape, as the gambler stood, fully clothed, packing his clothing into a travel bag.
"Mr. Jackson, perhaps you should close your mouth, the flies seem to be gathering there," Ezra commented breaking Nathan from his trance.
"What do you think you're doin'?!"
"I am going on a voyage, Mr. Jackson."
"Oh, no. You ain't in no condition to be goin' on no voyages. You got to be in bed!"
"Mr. Jackson," Ezra began in his typical distant type voice (although sounding weak), before he turned to face Nathan and began again. "Nathan, my mother left," he paused and at Nathan's nod indicating that he knew his mother left, Ezra continued. "She left me a letter, stating some quite important details, and stating that I can find many answers if I go to her. I must do this, Nathan and frankly, I cannot wait, I will not wait, I need my answers now."
With that Ezra picked up his bag and walked past Nathan, leaving the healer a bit amiss. However before the gambler got out of the earshot Nathan called out something never thought he'd offer, "You want comp'ny?"
"Are you offering?"
"Maybe," was Nathan's reply.
"Why would you want to?"
"Couple reasons. First, if I don't you'll abuse yer self and last thing I need is to do more patchin' on you. Second, sounds like ya could use some comp'ny."
"Nahtan, she's in Georgia," Ezra said, knowing that Nathan would recognize the perils of traveling there.
"If ya want comp'ny, I ain't gonna back out causa that," Nathan spoke confidently.
"My friend," Ezra began, voice full of abnormal warmth and friendship, "I would be happy to receive the pleasure of your company. However, the choice is yours, I do not believe it fair to ask you to accompany me into such perils unless by your own choice, entirely and not out of sympathy." Ezra added quickly, without realizing that the others knew full well that he hated receiving acts of sympathy.
"Ezra, do ya want comp'ny or not?" Nathan asked quietly.
"Yes, I suppose I would like that," Ezra conceded. "But don't you have to be here, especially with Mr. Wilmington…"
"Oh, hell, if'n I don't git outa here soon, I gonna kill Buck. The man's drivin' me nuts," Nathan said sounding extremely exasperated.
Ezra let out a little laugh, which caused him more then a little pain, however he pushed away the pain and turned back to Nathan. "Mr. Jackson, I believe, if you are to accompany me, you should go apprehend your belongings. I plan to leave on the noon stage which," He paused a moment to glance at his watch, "leaves in one half hour. Could you perhaps make Mr. Larabee aware of my…no our departure," Ezra amended.
"You don't give a man lotta time to prepare, Ezra. But I think I can handle it, and I'll be sure ta tell Chris," Nathan spoke with a little smile.
~*~
"Yer lettin' him go?" Chris asked surprised.
"Ain't no stoppin' him. You and me both know he'd go on his own anyway, even if we tied him down. Figure if'n I go with 'im there's a better chance a him not getting' hisself hurt more," Nathan explained.
"Reckon yer right," Chris slowly conceded. "Wonder what Maude's up to."
"Don't know, don't like it though. He ain't up ta this kinda stress," Nathan spoke sounding just a little bit angry.
"I can't believe she'd just up and leave, without a word to anyone," Chris spoke sounding equally upset.
"Yeah," Nathan spoke quietly. "Maybe she's got good reason," Nathan offered, always striving to look for the best in people.
"She better," Chris deadpanned.
"Well, I'd best get to my packin', got ta catch the noon stage."
"Then you'd best be on your way," Chris said.
"Keep an eye on Buck, and try ta keep him still!" Nathan called as he walked out the door.
"Well Nathan," Chris spoke with something of a laugh in his voice, "I promise we'll try!"
~*~
CHAPTER 17
One and a half weeks later, somewhere in the backwoods of Georgia
"We almost there?" Nathan asked as they continued walking, feeling extremely uncomfortable back so near to the place where he was born into slavery.
"Yes, I believe so," Ezra spoke trying valiantly to remember the location of a place he hadn't been to since he was twelve.
"What 'xactly are we lookin' for?"
"The foundation of a burned out plantation," Ezra answered automatically. "According to my mother's letter, if we travel down the old road there's a rebuilt house, we're to knock on the door and ask for her," Ezra finished.
Nathan was beginning to fell more uncomfortable. He knew he shouldn't be surprised that they were going to a plantation but it was hard knowing he'd be seeing such a place again. He wondered how the owners would take to his presence. Nathan suddenly felt a shiver run down his back.
~*~
Four Corners
"Buck, what do you think you're doing?!" Chris yelled at the ladies man. Never in his life had Chris so wanted to shoot someone. Buck was the single most infuriating, jackass he'd ever met. He was driving them all to insanity.
"Chris," Buck spoke irate, "you just don't interrupt a man like this," Buck spoke from his position atop some unseen person beneath the sheets.
"Shut up, Buck! You're in no condition for this. Now git you sorry self up and out of here now."
"Don't want to be exposin' the lady, Chris, I mea…"
"I don't want to hear it Buck. Now I'm you can manage to get up and off her without 'exposin' her too much," Chris said becoming more irate by the minute.
Buck had seen the look of homicidal mania in Chris' eyes too many times to ignore it. So reluctantly he removed himself from Miss Rebecca, making no attempt to cover anything up. And slipped into his trousers. He put on his hat tipped it to Rebecca and walked out just ahead of Chris.
"Sorry ma'am," Chris apologized half-heartedly to the women in bed and followed Buck out shaking his head.
~*~
"There it is," Ezra announced to Nathan. "There's the old foundation."
"How'd it burn?" Nathan absently questioned. In truth he wasn't really thinking at all about the old foundation, he was thinking much more of his current situation. A situation he never in a million years thought he would find himself in. It was a truly ridiculous situation when you really put it into perspective. Here he was an ex-slave in the same place he'd been enslaved in. In a place where anything a white didn't like could get him killed. So, he came with a southern white man out of no reason but friendship. Even more amazing, Nathan knew that Ezra would without question provide him the protection necessary to survive in his current setting. It was amazing, how far he and his companion had come in the past few years. To think that two men of such different backgrounds, different beliefs, different ideals, different morals, different races, different everything really. To think that two men such as this would find themselves traveling together to provide support. That was something, really something.
"Sherman's march," Ezra answered simply somewhat absently himself. He strained his eyes in search of this newly built home. He couldn't see it. He hoped it wasn't too far. He was very tired. Though you'd have to put a gun to his head to get him to admit it (especially with Nathan constantly mother-hening him) he was tiring quickly. He needed a rest. He was in pain. But he didn't want to rest. He wanted his answers. He wanted to speak to his mother. He wanted to learn about his father. Ezra wanted all these things and resting, escaping pain would not help him reach any of them.
"Ezra," Nathan began now that he was actually looking at the man, he was able to see his obvious weariness. "Maybe it'd be best we just set for a while. We'll git there, but you keep goin' the way you are and you ain't gonna have the strength to talk to yore ma," Nathan reasoned knowing how much Ezra need to speak to his mother, but also carrying the knowledge that if the man didn't rest soon there was a fair chance he would collapse.
"Well, when you put it in such a way Mr. Jackson," Ezra looked up at him with something of a smile playing on his face. "How can I refuse?"
Nathan shook his head as they walked over to a log on the side of the rough road and sat to rest for a while. They sat in a companionable silence for sometime with one another, simply enjoying one another's company.
Some time later they saw a figure walking up the road coming from where they were headed. She was a black woman, carrying a water bucket up towards them. She wasn't really old, however one certainly couldn't call her young either. It was hard to place her exact age however she looked to be somewhere in her forties.
When she saw the two men she slowly, almost cautiously approached them. "What you two fellas doin' all the way up on this here road?" She questioned somewhat timidly.
"We are looking for someone, Madame," Ezra spoke.
She laughed heartily, as if his words were the funniest thing she had ever heard, before responding, "Ain't we all, honey, ain't we all," She let out another small chuckle before continuing, "This 'someone' got a name?"
"Yes, ma'am," Nathan answered this time, "Her name is Maude Standish."
At that moment the woman's expression changed from the one that before had been laughing at the two young men before her to a much more serious expression. She turned to Ezra and as if seeing him for the first time seemed to really see him, "You're her son," She spoke, this was not a question but a statement that her tone alone said she was absolutely sure of.
"Yes," Ezra answered simply, seeing that this woman knew his mother.
"What a fool I am, I should a recognized you before," She paused before adding, "You look just like Daniel, I can't believe I didn't recognize you before," She then stopped and studied him, as if he were a ghost.
"You knew my father?" Ezra asked sounding quite shocked.
"Yes, darlin', I surely did."
"How did you know him?"
"Well, that's a long story that's better told by yore mama," She picked up her bucket, only for a moment before Nathan grabbed it from her, "How do you fit into this?" She asked him.
"Just comin' as a friend ma'am," Nathan answered lightly and cordially.
The woman let out a little laugh and shook her head a slight bit before turning to the two men and saying, "Well, boys, I know you," she motioned toward Ezra, "are Ezra Standish, but I don't know yore name," She said to Nathan.
"Nathan Jackson, ma'am."
"I like that, good strong name," She commented haughtily.
"I do not believe we know your name either," Ezra observed.
"I do believe yore right, my name is Ellie Markem."
"Well Ms. Markem…" Ezra began but Ellie cut him off.
"Oh, now I won't be havin' none of that, you'll both call me Ellie," Both men made a move to argue that, however neither succeeded when she cut them off again before they even got a chance to get a word out. "Now don't you two argua with me, I won't have it. You'll call me Ellie, that clear?"
"Yes, ma'am," Nathan answered.
"Of course, Madame," Ezra answered.
"Now, let's head on up ta the house, for yore mama goes any more nuts for worryin' over you," She said to Ezra.
~*~
Upon their arrival at a fair sized home, Ezra and Nathan were quickly ushered in by Ellie, who had told them to make themselves at home until she came back. After that she had quickly disappeared from that front foyer and moved onto another room, presumably in search of Maude.
For less then five minutes she was gone. She returned to them quickly. "Ezra, dear, yore mama is outside. I'm gonna tell ya the way to git to where she's at. You listenin' good?" At Ezra quick, anxious nod, she continued. "Now you'll git on ole Mongoose and head on down the ole path through the oaks. You'll know it. Now You just gotta folla it, quite a far ways. After while you'll reach where the Monroe River runs long side the path. On the otha side a the rivah there'll be a real rough path cut through them tree. Folla that, you'll come 'long yore mama 'ventually." She finished, patting Ezra on the arm and motioning him to follow her.
Ezra followed without question, or words, leaving Nathan alone in silence to contemplate the things that happened to them thus far.
~*~
1½ hours later, the woods
About a half-hour before Ezra had begun to think that perhaps Ellie Markem had lied to him and perhaps this was a wild goose chase. He was beginning to believe that his mother wasn't here. That this was some elaborate hoax to add further insult to his life and just generally make him miserable.
It was as these thoughts floated in his mind that he spotted Monroe River, in all of its mostly dried up glory. He immediately looked to his side, opposite the river, and to his mild surprise he did indeed see that 'rough trail' Ellie Markem had spoken of.
As he rode the rougher trail astride Mongoose, he took better notice of his surroundings. He noted the massive oak trees the almost completely surrounded him. He rode within a small entrenchment. Beyond the depressed trail he was in, both sides, steeply sloped upward on a rocky, tree-filled embankment. The trail was extremely narrow and Mongoose was none to happy about riding in the narrow, rocky, and rough terrain.
Ezra focused his eyes forward hoping he would soon see his mother. The tall trees seemed to almost block out the sun; it seemed almost like he was in a tunnel. So, as you can imagine, he was very happy when he saw an end to the tiny trail and an opening to the end of his tunnel.
CHAPTER 18
Ezra nudged the horse forward a little harder then before. They quickly reached the place where the "tunnel" ended and to Ezra's surprised the sun-deprived place he was just in opened up into a brightly lit, wild flower filled meadow. Ezra couldn't help but think that if heaven could exist on Earth, it would have to reside where he was at that very moment.
His eyes continued to search this new land until he spotted the feminine figure, kneeling down, near the edge of the meadow (where it reconnected with forest). He knew the figure almost immediately to be his mother and for the first time since relatively early childhood he couldn't wait to see her.
He pushed Mongoose into a full run across the meadow in a rather successful attempt to reach Maude sooner. "Mother!" he called to her.
Maude turned with a surprised look on her face. "Ezra?" She asked, not expecting out and about so soon, in fact knowing that he should still be in bed and should continue to be for some time. As he neared and dismounted the animal she spoke once more, "You should still be recuperating. If I had known you would come so swiftly I would have held back in my letter."
"You said you would give me answers, that you would tell me about my father," he spoke anxiously, allowing her to quickly realize that he hadn't listened to a word she said.
"Is that the only reason you came?"
This question caught Ezra somewhat off-guard. He wanted to say no, for some reason deep within himself he didn't want her feelings to be hurt however he'd never been able to lie to her and in truth he never would be able to. So, he conceded to the truth. "Well…I suppose…I…well…yes, I suppose that is the main reason."
"Well, at least your being honest," she spoke quietly, sounding somewhat sad and completely unsurprised. She sighed deeply, while Ezra stood somewhat shocked. Shocked, mostly by the utter honesty and straightforward manner in which she was speaking with him. It almost seemed as if this was a completely different woman then the Maude Standish that he had known all his life. He had to admit he liked this obviously honest personality.
She turned quietly back to what she had been doing before. It was only then that Ezra noticed what he had interrupted her doing. He saw a small, humble, utterly plain wooden grave marker bearing the name Daniel Standish. He saw that his mother had been cultivating the flowers that seemed to completely enveloping the grave area and making it seem quite grand despite the less than extraordinary marker.
"Is that his grave?" Ezra asked despite knowing it was a foolish question.
"Yes," Maude answered simply.
"How did he die, Mother?"
"Oh, son, it was such a waste of life. It was so useless," Maude spoke quietly unshed tears making her eyes sparkle, ready to spill down her cheeks. "Before I tell you of his death, would be alright if I told you about his life, our life."
As far as Ezra was concerned he'd rather talk about that anyway. After asking that rather heartless question, especially looking at how difficult it was for her to even think about Daniel Standish's death. "Of course, I would rather hear about his life anyway," Ezra told the truth. It wasn't as hard for him, because for as much as he'd always loved and idolized his father; he'd never really known the man.
Ezra was somewhat surprised when Maude's voice began quietly regaling him with the tale of the first time she and his father had met. "When we met, I was fifteen and he was seventeen. It wasn't exactly what one would call a pleasant meeting. I absolutely despised him. You see my brother had just gotten married and we were at this big party my father had thrown for him and his betrothed. What you must understand though, is, I hated these affairs, with a passion. Now my sister, who happened to be eighteen at the time, took an immediate liking to your father. So since my big sister was not my favorite person in the world I decided that the only way I could enjoy this night of pure living hell-in my opinion-was to make my lovely, daddy's little angel, sister as miserable as me…and her newest beau as well," Maude smiled rather evilly in remembrance and Ezra couldn't help but pity those poor souls.
"What did you do?" Ezra asked with his voice somewhere between accusatory and amused at this anecdote.
"Well, I watched them dote on each other all night. They danced and stared over one another the whole night. I was about to get sick. However I knew my sister's habits well, I always spied on her, so I knew she was moving in for the kill. I knew she just about had that boy whipped. So I waited for her to make her move, and so she did, about twenty minutes later. You see, my dear darling sister," Maude continued voice dripping with thick sarcasm despite the fact that it was clear to anyone and everyone who was or could have been listening that this was an extremely fond memory. "Had a habit of reeling these handsome boys in and then before the nights party came to an end taking them out to the barn loft-where she was certain daddy wouldn't catch them-and necking with them." Maude shook her head smiling a little before continuing. "Well, I knew without having to follow what my dear sister was going to do, but I followed anyway-with a definite plan ripe in my mind. My sister worked quickly and by the time I reached the barn, only minutes behind them, she already had her tongue about a mile down his throat. Anyway I knew from trial and error that at this point they wouldn't notice the little noise I was about to make. The loft to the barn had two latters. One that went down into the barn and the other-on the outside that, led into the pig pen-right near the slop trough. Now while they were up there I quickly scurried to remove both latters from their places. Once that was done-without my getting found out-I ran like the dickens back to the house to tattle that some boy had his dear sweet Annabelle in the hayloft. My father was less then subtle in his approach on this situation. Shotgun in hand I watched in total glee as he marched toward the barn shouting to the heavens and firing shots. Well, your father, slippery as anyone you ever did meet-son of a gambler raised by his father alone-heard the commotion and just as he and Annabelle heard daddy enter the barn thought himself real smart to climb down the latter outside and escape," Maude looked at her son, let out a little and concluded, "He'd already allowed all his weight out the loft door before realizing there was no latter."
"You mean he fell in the pig pen?" Ezra asked with a smile.
"No, darlin', he drifted slightly in his descent and fell into the pig slop," she spoke jovially, while Ezra laughed out loud, so did Maude.
"Now how on Earth did you two end up together?" And on a second note Ezra added, "What did your father do?"
"Well," Maude began with a slight smile; "Your second question is just a little bit easier to answer then your first. For all his luck, that poor boy ended up breaking his arm and a couple ribs in his fall. Now daddy wanted to shoot him just the same-this was the first he'd ever known of Annabelle and her beau's and was naïve enough to think that your father had tricked his innocent little daughter into it. Lucky for your father, Mama had come out in time to watch the scene unfold and reminded Daddy of his past indiscretions of a similar nature when they were young-which made me absolutely sick- but in turn both of them ended up taking pity on Dan and actually ended up allowing him to spend some time in our house to do some healing."
"What about my first question?" Ezra asked genuinely interested and entertained by his mother.
"Well, for some reason, which certainly wasn't my sister, your father started coming for Sunday dinner just about every Sunday. Now, while it's true that at first I despised him eventually his charm and good looks got to me. In my life I've discovered that there's a fine line between love and hate and somewhere along the way, without my realizing it, I fell head over heels in love with him. And well, you know me, I wanted him, and I always get what I want." She spoke with a smile her voice happy as Ezra watched her face he thought he'd never seen her look more alive, or more at ease.
Ezra wasn't sure what kind of response the next question he had was going to garner or even if it was fair ask her, but he did, "Was I wanted, I mean were you married and did or didn't want or am I the reason you got married?"
" I never meant to make you feel unwanted, although I suppose I did," Once again the pain of past mistakes, terrible mistakes, came to her. Ezra could clearly see the pain and regret in her face. She looked downward briefly at her hands, which absently fingered a small flower. Within moments she looked back up and lovingly put her hand on Ezra's cheek and spoke tenderly to him, "We wanted so much, it took three years to get you and we were both so happy when you finally came. When we first got married I hadn't been thrilled with the prospect of having children, your father on the other hand…well he loved children and he wanted them badly. The idea of being a father made him absolutely…giddy. So I though, if Dan loves this so much it can't be that bad. We tried and tried to get pregnant. And did four times, the first time ended with a miscarriage, so did the third and so did the fourth. And the second time the baby was still-born. By the time I got pregnant with you I almost feared being pregnant, I was so afraid of losing another baby, I couldn't have handled that. In fact, I'd become so distraught about losing all those babies that before I became pregnant with you, your father had come to me and suggested that perhaps we shouldn't try to have anymore children. He was scared of what would happen if I got pregnant again-I'd almost bled to death the last time…" It was then that Maude stopped, she was crying. She wrapped her arms around her son and spoke into his ear, "And then you came. I felt so blessed, you were our miracle. We both loved you more then life itself…Oh, baby…I'm so sorry I screwed everything up, I never meant to hurt you. It's just that after your father died and after Carlton-I was afraid to love you. I was afraid I'd lose you. I thought that if I stopped loving then…I couldn't be hurt anymore. I was such a fool…all I did was hurt the one thing I had to live for…you." She kept her arms tightly around Ezra. He'd never heard her talk like that before. Her words were absolute truth and sincerity, of that Ezra had no doubts. It was just so shocking to hear his mother speaking so openly and honestly and for the first time he didn't hate her for leaving him at all those terrible places and for not loving because it finally hit him how much she'd suffered and how much she really did love him. By the time she'd left Carlton and started leaving him with all those relatives life had crippled and scarred her heart so badly the only way she could go on, or so she thought, was to close it off. This epiphany settled over Ezra as he wrapped his arms around his mother and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too, so much…I'm so sorry…can you ever forgive me?" She asked quietly, however he sensed she was near hystaria.
"Shhh," Ezra whispered, holding her tighter, giving her all she needed to answer her question.
They stayed there hugging for some time. Nether one wanting to let go of the other. When they finally did let go, both silently stood and began to walk to there horses and leave the beautiful grave site who's occupant could truly rest in peace and who's family had now reached peace.
As they got on the horses and headed back Ezra had one more question, "Now what is this I hear about you being a doctor?"
"Well, it's a funny story, your father…
Fin
I hope you all like it. I hope this ending was okay, I had kind of a hard time writing it so you have to review so I know if it's good or sucky. Thanks for reading!!!!!