The True Thoughts of a Chilton Schoolgirl
by Despondency Sisters
Author's Note: This, too, was written by Despondency Sister #2 (glitter_girl0058). It's from Madeline's journal, and
obviously, her POV. Once again, we remind you to please read and review with suggestions or flames!!
April 13th
11:30 PM
I can't sleep right now. I have to write down everything that happened today before I forget the horrible-ness
of it all. Although, I don't know what I was expecting- but its much worse...
It was my idea to have both Brett and Mother there. Rory asked about my father. He's away on business, I told
her. And he is... It's just he hasn't come back from "business" in 5 years. I guess I wanted the two of them there together
because of my wimpiness. Because I didn't want to say it twice, three times. I wanted to confess what was happening to
me and just get it over with. That's how scared and alone I am. But Rory did offer to come. I'm grateful for that.
She came two hours before the time I told Brett to come over. Rory wanted to coach me in what to say
and how to act. But she couldn't, because I broke down and started sobbing hysterically. Talk about making a fool
out of myself. But somehow, I didn't mind as much that I was having a breakdown in front of Rory. Certainly better
than Paris or Louise. I just wouldn't stop crying. I hadn't cried much- not at all, in fact- since that dreadful day in the
doctor's office or in the bathroom with Louise outside. Rory tried to calm me down with the story of her mother.
"You've got to know my grandmother, Emily Gilmore, and my grandfather, Richard Gilmore. They're an
established, high class family, with an old-fashioned way of thinking, impeccable manners, and never even dreaming
of doing anything out of line. I guess that's why my mom was so wild... She was the exact opposite of her mother, a sense
of humor, sarcasm to the breaking point,- My dad says she's got a very annoying quick mind with verbal comebacks,
lovable, oblivious to the real world. It was all these things that got her pregnant. I suppose it was the rebel side of her.
I don't really understand my mother's behavior when she was our age."
I had to interrupt at his point. "But you know her well now."
"Yeah, I do."
"You're so lucky." I had stopped crying and swept the growing pile of Kleenex's off my bed and into the
garbage can.
"But at least you know where your dad is." she protested.
"Don't you?"
"Not really." she answered.
There was a silence.
"Tell me the rest." I had pushed.
"There was a guy. And he was hanging around. Christopher Haten, straight A student, son of the wealthy,
precocious Francine and Straub. He dated my mom throughout sophomore year. Even Grandma and Grandpa approved.
But it still happened. They still slept together and they still had me. You don't know what happened in my family. Everything,
every little feeling, anger or happiness or dislike, all bottled up- it just exploded. It was an endless war between my
parents and their families. That was the outside arguments. The inside argument was between the mother and father-to-be.
He asked her to marry him. But she said no."
"Wow."
"Yeah." she had answered.
"What if Brett-"
"Asks you to marry him?" finished Rory.
I was speechless. No one had ever read my mind before. I don't know- I had a feeling that Rory was going to
make a colossal impact on my life.
By then, the two hours were over.
Ding-dong. The doorbell that had been ringing non-stop all my life had been a symbol of home, cheerfulness,
and eternal bliss. Now it was frightening and made me feel so vulnerable. Knowing that who stood on the other side
of the door, and what I had to do didn't help either.
Rory's face was grim as she stood up. "Better go get that." She walked out and left me in the security of my
own world. Rory was walking out into the cold, real world, ready to acknowledge my fate.
"You must be Brett." I heard her say, pleasantly, and I imagined her in my mind, shaking his hand, smiling
warmly, giving him no indication about what was going to happen.
I heard my mother's high heels clip clop into the living room, and her shrill voice saying, "So what is going on?"
Rory answered, "I'll go get Madeline."
I got up, reluctantly, and I received and returned Rory's reassuring smile.
When I arrived in the living room, Brett was sitting on my father's chair, and Mother was sitting on the couch.
I sat next to Rory on the loveseat, and she nodded.
"So what is this important thing you had to talk to me about?" asked my mother, staring at her watch simultaneously.
"Yeah. I'm dying to know." put in Brett.
"Well, Mom, Brett. I wanted you to know before you heard from anyone else."
They just looked at me.
I let out a deep breath and placed my hand on my belly.
"Remember.... at the party?"
April 14th
I had to stop last night, because I began to weep again, and my salty tears would have smeared the ink and messed
up the perfect paper in my diary.
Well, starting where I left off....
"So you're pregnant." my mother said with finality. I had expected her to go into a fit of rage and anger and misunderstanding
any second.
"And I'm the father." said Brett.
I could see his bewilderment in his eyes, the ones I had loved so much.
My hands were clenched, and I noticed I had been twisting and squeezing them nervously the entire time I had
been explaining.
Rory was mediator. "The important thing is, what are we going to do?"
"Marry me." said Brett. "I don't have a diamond ring, or the will to get down on my knees, but for the sake of
our baby- be my wife."
"No, Madeline. I won't let you drop out of school." My mother said, adamant, and standing up.
"Mother." I protested.
"Nor am I going to allow you to marry-" she searched for the right word. "-this man." she finished lamely.
"Then what about this baby?"
"Get rid of it." my mother commanded sternly.
"That's what I wanted to do, before, but now- I love this baby. And I love-" I paused.
"I love you too." said Brett.
"Love?" my mother spat, as if it was the worst thing possible. As if it had once been something in her life, then
disappeared as quickly as a wisp of wind in the air. "You don't know what love is." she had continued. "And I don't care
about your feelings for this boy or this baby. You are getting rid of both."
The tears are flooding again. Sorry, diary.
May 5th
Wouldn't I know it- a month goes by very slowly. My mother's doctor personally "did the honors" of ruining
my life himself. Its funny, how I thought this baby was going to ruin my life, but instead its artificial death did exactly that-
took a part of my soul up to heaven, and when the baby died- I did too.
Turns out my mother does know where my father is. A check came in the mail made out to Brett Ripot just
yesterday. $10,00 for dear old Brett to leave town and leave "his little girl" alone. That's a direct quote. "His little girl".
Ha! That's the closest I've ever gotten to laughing since the needle...
You know, sometimes I feel relieved that this is over and done with. I mean, this is what I wanted, wasn't it?
To be a teenager again? To laugh with my friends again? To squeal over a cute guy? To sing over the sound of the radio?
I thought I would have all these things again. But that's not possible. I'll never be a teenager again.
~The End~
by Despondency Sisters
Author's Note: This, too, was written by Despondency Sister #2 (glitter_girl0058). It's from Madeline's journal, and
obviously, her POV. Once again, we remind you to please read and review with suggestions or flames!!
April 13th
11:30 PM
I can't sleep right now. I have to write down everything that happened today before I forget the horrible-ness
of it all. Although, I don't know what I was expecting- but its much worse...
It was my idea to have both Brett and Mother there. Rory asked about my father. He's away on business, I told
her. And he is... It's just he hasn't come back from "business" in 5 years. I guess I wanted the two of them there together
because of my wimpiness. Because I didn't want to say it twice, three times. I wanted to confess what was happening to
me and just get it over with. That's how scared and alone I am. But Rory did offer to come. I'm grateful for that.
She came two hours before the time I told Brett to come over. Rory wanted to coach me in what to say
and how to act. But she couldn't, because I broke down and started sobbing hysterically. Talk about making a fool
out of myself. But somehow, I didn't mind as much that I was having a breakdown in front of Rory. Certainly better
than Paris or Louise. I just wouldn't stop crying. I hadn't cried much- not at all, in fact- since that dreadful day in the
doctor's office or in the bathroom with Louise outside. Rory tried to calm me down with the story of her mother.
"You've got to know my grandmother, Emily Gilmore, and my grandfather, Richard Gilmore. They're an
established, high class family, with an old-fashioned way of thinking, impeccable manners, and never even dreaming
of doing anything out of line. I guess that's why my mom was so wild... She was the exact opposite of her mother, a sense
of humor, sarcasm to the breaking point,- My dad says she's got a very annoying quick mind with verbal comebacks,
lovable, oblivious to the real world. It was all these things that got her pregnant. I suppose it was the rebel side of her.
I don't really understand my mother's behavior when she was our age."
I had to interrupt at his point. "But you know her well now."
"Yeah, I do."
"You're so lucky." I had stopped crying and swept the growing pile of Kleenex's off my bed and into the
garbage can.
"But at least you know where your dad is." she protested.
"Don't you?"
"Not really." she answered.
There was a silence.
"Tell me the rest." I had pushed.
"There was a guy. And he was hanging around. Christopher Haten, straight A student, son of the wealthy,
precocious Francine and Straub. He dated my mom throughout sophomore year. Even Grandma and Grandpa approved.
But it still happened. They still slept together and they still had me. You don't know what happened in my family. Everything,
every little feeling, anger or happiness or dislike, all bottled up- it just exploded. It was an endless war between my
parents and their families. That was the outside arguments. The inside argument was between the mother and father-to-be.
He asked her to marry him. But she said no."
"Wow."
"Yeah." she had answered.
"What if Brett-"
"Asks you to marry him?" finished Rory.
I was speechless. No one had ever read my mind before. I don't know- I had a feeling that Rory was going to
make a colossal impact on my life.
By then, the two hours were over.
Ding-dong. The doorbell that had been ringing non-stop all my life had been a symbol of home, cheerfulness,
and eternal bliss. Now it was frightening and made me feel so vulnerable. Knowing that who stood on the other side
of the door, and what I had to do didn't help either.
Rory's face was grim as she stood up. "Better go get that." She walked out and left me in the security of my
own world. Rory was walking out into the cold, real world, ready to acknowledge my fate.
"You must be Brett." I heard her say, pleasantly, and I imagined her in my mind, shaking his hand, smiling
warmly, giving him no indication about what was going to happen.
I heard my mother's high heels clip clop into the living room, and her shrill voice saying, "So what is going on?"
Rory answered, "I'll go get Madeline."
I got up, reluctantly, and I received and returned Rory's reassuring smile.
When I arrived in the living room, Brett was sitting on my father's chair, and Mother was sitting on the couch.
I sat next to Rory on the loveseat, and she nodded.
"So what is this important thing you had to talk to me about?" asked my mother, staring at her watch simultaneously.
"Yeah. I'm dying to know." put in Brett.
"Well, Mom, Brett. I wanted you to know before you heard from anyone else."
They just looked at me.
I let out a deep breath and placed my hand on my belly.
"Remember.... at the party?"
April 14th
I had to stop last night, because I began to weep again, and my salty tears would have smeared the ink and messed
up the perfect paper in my diary.
Well, starting where I left off....
"So you're pregnant." my mother said with finality. I had expected her to go into a fit of rage and anger and misunderstanding
any second.
"And I'm the father." said Brett.
I could see his bewilderment in his eyes, the ones I had loved so much.
My hands were clenched, and I noticed I had been twisting and squeezing them nervously the entire time I had
been explaining.
Rory was mediator. "The important thing is, what are we going to do?"
"Marry me." said Brett. "I don't have a diamond ring, or the will to get down on my knees, but for the sake of
our baby- be my wife."
"No, Madeline. I won't let you drop out of school." My mother said, adamant, and standing up.
"Mother." I protested.
"Nor am I going to allow you to marry-" she searched for the right word. "-this man." she finished lamely.
"Then what about this baby?"
"Get rid of it." my mother commanded sternly.
"That's what I wanted to do, before, but now- I love this baby. And I love-" I paused.
"I love you too." said Brett.
"Love?" my mother spat, as if it was the worst thing possible. As if it had once been something in her life, then
disappeared as quickly as a wisp of wind in the air. "You don't know what love is." she had continued. "And I don't care
about your feelings for this boy or this baby. You are getting rid of both."
The tears are flooding again. Sorry, diary.
May 5th
Wouldn't I know it- a month goes by very slowly. My mother's doctor personally "did the honors" of ruining
my life himself. Its funny, how I thought this baby was going to ruin my life, but instead its artificial death did exactly that-
took a part of my soul up to heaven, and when the baby died- I did too.
Turns out my mother does know where my father is. A check came in the mail made out to Brett Ripot just
yesterday. $10,00 for dear old Brett to leave town and leave "his little girl" alone. That's a direct quote. "His little girl".
Ha! That's the closest I've ever gotten to laughing since the needle...
You know, sometimes I feel relieved that this is over and done with. I mean, this is what I wanted, wasn't it?
To be a teenager again? To laugh with my friends again? To squeal over a cute guy? To sing over the sound of the radio?
I thought I would have all these things again. But that's not possible. I'll never be a teenager again.
~The End~