Chapter Seventy

Qui-Gon sat in the Jedi Temple's gardens, surrounded by the flora and fauna from a thousand worlds in the Republic. Set within the gardens were dozen of alcoves like the one in which he waited where a person could sit, alone or with a companion, and enjoy the beauty of the gardens. Qui-Gon was alone at the moment.

Chrysanthemums, Jaharan roses, dahlias, and Kabalan lilacs flooded the air with their varied scents. Asaari and wroshyr trees, Rishian rainwood, cypress, oaks and cedars soared above him. Birdsong trilled through the air. He took a deep breath, and closing his eyes, gave himself up to the Living Force which enveloped him.

At the sound of soft clicking to his right, Qui-Gon opened his eyes. One of the grounds-keeping droids was bent over, trimming back one of the hedges. It turned its softly glowing eyes toward him and bowed. Qui-Gon nodded. The droid turned back to its work.

Qui-Gon sighed. It had been nearly four months since he, Obi-Wan, Aalea and Cian had returned from Jalat. During that time much had happened. The Jalatan Council had voted unanimously to establish relations with the Republic. As a result, because of Jalat's access to the vast medical knowledge of the thousands of worlds within the Republic a cure had been found for Sala Vati's illness.

That news had filled Qui-Gon with great joy when he had watched the hololetter from Shiro detailing her recovery. Shiro had also informed him that Tydre, despite his youth, had been elected the new Chief Priest of the religious caste. And last, but not least, the First Minister's impassioned petition to the Jedi Council on behalf of Obi-Wan and Aalea had prevented the two young Jedi from suffering any major repercussions for having disobeyed Yoda. However, both had had to appear before the Jedi Council and receive stern reprimands for their conduct. It had been a sobering experience for them both.

Qui-Gon smiled as he thought of them. It was apparent that the two now shared a deep affection for each other, as much as they tried to hide it. In public they acted towards each other with a reserved formality, but Qui-Gon had noted the soft looks which passed between them when they thought no one was looking and the way their eyes lit up whenever the other came near.

Qui-Gon folded him arms within his robe. He had told Cian he was not displeased about their affection for each other but it still concerned him. The Jedi path was a hard one and he did not want to see either of them hurt.

Then he heard the click of Yoda's staff as he made his way down the cobbled walkway. Upon Qui-Gon's return from Jalat he had met with Yoda and told him what had happened when he had battled Rukal, how he called upon the dark side to defeat the Jalatan priest and how close he had come to killing him and turning. Yoda had stared at him for a long time, then gently chided him.

"Not a machine are you, Qui-Gon," he had said, "still human are you. Your mastery of the Force is great but, since the Force is infinite, never will you master it completely."

As Yoda approached, Qui-Gon stood and bowed to the diminutive Jedi Master. Yoda nodded, then waved his staff indicating Qui-Gon could resume his seat. He did, watching as Yoda sat down in the small chair which Qui-Gon had brought from one of the other alcoves.

Yoda sighed deeply as he adjusted his tunic about him. He laid the staff on the ground, then peered over at Qui-Gon.

"Troubled are you."

"Not at all, Master."

Yoda grunted. "Bad liar are you, also."

Qui-Gon smiled. "As always you see through me, my Master."

"Not difficult with one such as you, Qui-Gon."

"You wished to see me about something, Master?" he said quickly to change the subject.

Yoda narrowed his eyes and stared at Qui-Gon.

"Change subject if you wish. Back to it I will come. But yes, regarding events on Jalat I wished to speak with you. The Council read your report. Much have we discussed it. What happened there, along with the Force collar which was used on Padawan Aalea and other events have led us to believe forces are at work within the Republic. Dark forces."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Rukal's mysterious master."

"Yes, unfortunately no evidence of who that is have we uncovered. Hard to see the dark side is."

"That is true, my Master," Qui-Gon said softly.

"Now, back to subject I return. What troubles you?"

Qui-Gon sighed. It was no use. He knew Yoda would not give up until he had unburdened his heart.

"Master, what place does love have within the Force?"

"The Force is love, Qui-Gon," Yoda said. "Know that you do."

"That's not what I meant, Master."

Yoda tilted his head. "Oh, I see. Of sexual love you mean."

Qui-Gon felt himself blushing, something he had not done in a very long time. He glanced away from Yoda and fastened his gaze on a large bee which floated drowsily from one blossom to another. Yoda waited. Qui-Gon turned back to him.

"Yes, that is what I mean."

"Sexual love is as much a part of the Force as anything else, Qui-Gon. From it comes life. The Force permeates life. Therefore, within the Force there is for that a place. But, as with anything, approached it must be with reverence and reflection."

Qui-Gon nodded.

Yoda leaned forward and lowered his voice.

"Of Mistress Nyal, do you ask of this?"

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "I am in love with her, Master."

"This I know."

Qui-Gon looked sharply over at Yoda.

Yoda nodded. "Since from Jalat you returned, difference have I noted in you. That you love her only explanation could it be. But, you are afraid."

"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon admitted. "I don't want to hurt her. She's been hurt enough."

"Yes," Yoda agreed softly. "How is she?"

"She's been going to a counselor and she's also spent some time with Healer Sklar. She says she's fine, but..."

"You suspect otherwise."

Qui-Gon nodded. "I spend as much time with her as I can. As do Aalea and Obi-Wan and yet, there is still this place inside her which remains unhealed."

Yoda gazed with compassion at his former apprentice.

"Desire for her you have?"

"Yes, my Master," Qui-Gon said, his voice barely audible. "Very much so."

"Scarred by this Rukal she has been?"

Qui-Gon took a deep shuddering breath.

"Yes," he said, his voice tight with pain.

"Help her you can, but risk is great. To her. To you."

"I understand."

"No, I think not, Qui-Gon. Not risk to body do I speak of, but here," and Yoda reached over and placed his hand over Qui-Gon's heart, "is where you risk. By helping her in this way, you may, in the long run, hurt her even more."

"I would rather die than hurt Cian."

"Of course, Qui-Gon, this I know, but with love there is always pain."

"What should I do, Master?"

"Long has your service to the Order been. Some happiness I think you are owed. But, do what you must. As you have always done."

Yoda reached down and picked up his staff. He stood. Qui-Gon stood also and bowed to him. Yoda turned and started down the cobbled path, but before he disappeared around the corner, he turned back to Qui-Gon.

"Remember. With love pain will there always be, but without love nothing there is but the abyss."

Yoda then turned and hobbled away.

Qui-Gon stood for a moment, reflecting on Yoda's words. Then, before he could turn to leave the garden, the droid he had seen earlier moved in front of him. It handed him a single Jaharan rose.

"For Mistress Cian," it said. Then it turned and walked away through the gardens.

Qui-Gon stared down at the rose. The lush violet petals sparkled with dew. He lifted it to his face and its scent rushed through him like a river which had suddenly broken free of its banks. He closed his eyes and let it sweep him away.

To be continued....