Link Goes Mad!
By: KujaSephLionheart
All characters in this story are property of Nintendo, blah blah blah.
The Setting: Poor, poor Link is fighting Ganondorf (again) for the future
of Hyrule. Link defeats Ganon like he always ends up doing, everyone lives
happily ever after until Nintendo makes another Zelda game, blah blah blah,
when...
Princess Zelda jumps up and down. "Link, you've saved the world once again!"
"Yeah...AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME I'M EVER DOING IT!!!!!"
"What?!"
Link drops his Master Sword and snaps. "I'VE HAD IT, YOU MOTHER^%$@ING DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!"
"Link, I..."
"I don't wanna hear it at all! I quit the hero thing!"
"But, why Link?" Princess Zelda begged.
"Where do I begin? Well...for starters, WHY AM I ALWAYS GETTING MY ASS KICKED WHILE YOU SIT ON
YOUR ROYAL ASS AND DO NOTHING!!!! And after I defeat Ganon, do I ever get a 'Thank you, Link' or
a 'You've worked so hard, why don't you rest?' NO! I just go back to my ghetto cottage like nothing
happened, and you go back to the royal castle, like you suffered something traumatic!!!"
"Link, I never knew you felt that way...I'm sorry." Princess Zelda consoled.
"Not half as sorry as Nintendo's gonna be! I get put with annoying fairies in the N64 games!
I get no respect! I thought that chick in Gargoyle's Domain was a babe! And it turns out to be Blind
the Thief! A GUY!? And why put me with the bimbo fairies when you allow companies to make STRATEGY
GUIDES, Nintendo! I HATE YOU!!!! But, no, bimbo fairies aren't enough! You have to put that
stupid owl and Deku Scrubs in the game. Do you know how many Deku nuts were shot at me?! Or maybe
the mummies and corpses in Ocarina of Time?! Oh, they were choking me, so why did it look like they
were humping me!? And why was I the freakin' outcast in Kokiri Forest?!"
"Link, I can't imagine-"
"And isn't this supposed to be an RPG?! Or action/adventure?! WHY DON'T I GET A PERSONALITY!?
I'm just a puppet!!!! Speaking of which, WHY IS THE NAME OF THE GAME CALLED LEGEND OF ZELDA?!
YOU DON'T SEE HER IN THE GAME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING HALF AS RELEVANT AS I DO! She's
barely in Majora's Mask, but it's still called 'The Legend of Zelda.'It should be called 'Adventures
of Link.'"
Princess Zelda begins to crack up and never stops laughing. "Ad-Adventures of Link!? That's such
a silly name!"
And, well, as pissed as Link was, he plunged the Master Sword into the princess.
"Link...ugh..." were the Hylian Princess's final words.
"Now I get to be the sole star like I rightfully should have been! And one more thing...WHY ARE
THERE FANFICS ABOUT ME AND GANONDORF DOING THE NASTY!? I am his enemy, not his sex slave!!!!"
All of a sudden, Ganon rises from the ground. "Oh yes you are!" he said with an evil grin.
"GYAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" And Link runs for his life from the horny Ganondorf!
The End!!!
Okay, I know it sucked, but I feel sorry for what Link has to put up with!
By: KujaSephLionheart
All characters in this story are property of Nintendo, blah blah blah.
The Setting: Poor, poor Link is fighting Ganondorf (again) for the future
of Hyrule. Link defeats Ganon like he always ends up doing, everyone lives
happily ever after until Nintendo makes another Zelda game, blah blah blah,
when...
Princess Zelda jumps up and down. "Link, you've saved the world once again!"
"Yeah...AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME I'M EVER DOING IT!!!!!"
"What?!"
Link drops his Master Sword and snaps. "I'VE HAD IT, YOU MOTHER^%$@ING DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!"
"Link, I..."
"I don't wanna hear it at all! I quit the hero thing!"
"But, why Link?" Princess Zelda begged.
"Where do I begin? Well...for starters, WHY AM I ALWAYS GETTING MY ASS KICKED WHILE YOU SIT ON
YOUR ROYAL ASS AND DO NOTHING!!!! And after I defeat Ganon, do I ever get a 'Thank you, Link' or
a 'You've worked so hard, why don't you rest?' NO! I just go back to my ghetto cottage like nothing
happened, and you go back to the royal castle, like you suffered something traumatic!!!"
"Link, I never knew you felt that way...I'm sorry." Princess Zelda consoled.
"Not half as sorry as Nintendo's gonna be! I get put with annoying fairies in the N64 games!
I get no respect! I thought that chick in Gargoyle's Domain was a babe! And it turns out to be Blind
the Thief! A GUY!? And why put me with the bimbo fairies when you allow companies to make STRATEGY
GUIDES, Nintendo! I HATE YOU!!!! But, no, bimbo fairies aren't enough! You have to put that
stupid owl and Deku Scrubs in the game. Do you know how many Deku nuts were shot at me?! Or maybe
the mummies and corpses in Ocarina of Time?! Oh, they were choking me, so why did it look like they
were humping me!? And why was I the freakin' outcast in Kokiri Forest?!"
"Link, I can't imagine-"
"And isn't this supposed to be an RPG?! Or action/adventure?! WHY DON'T I GET A PERSONALITY!?
I'm just a puppet!!!! Speaking of which, WHY IS THE NAME OF THE GAME CALLED LEGEND OF ZELDA?!
YOU DON'T SEE HER IN THE GAME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING HALF AS RELEVANT AS I DO! She's
barely in Majora's Mask, but it's still called 'The Legend of Zelda.'It should be called 'Adventures
of Link.'"
Princess Zelda begins to crack up and never stops laughing. "Ad-Adventures of Link!? That's such
a silly name!"
And, well, as pissed as Link was, he plunged the Master Sword into the princess.
"Link...ugh..." were the Hylian Princess's final words.
"Now I get to be the sole star like I rightfully should have been! And one more thing...WHY ARE
THERE FANFICS ABOUT ME AND GANONDORF DOING THE NASTY!? I am his enemy, not his sex slave!!!!"
All of a sudden, Ganon rises from the ground. "Oh yes you are!" he said with an evil grin.
"GYAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" And Link runs for his life from the horny Ganondorf!
The End!!!
Okay, I know it sucked, but I feel sorry for what Link has to put up with!