Disclaimer: I just got this odd idea one day. I don't ask questions when something that might be mildly entertaining to write about enters my head. I own nothing of value sueing me is pointless.
Content: 1+2, 3+4 (though not based around it), implied violence... I'd say PG.
Setting: The GW boys were called to a big-shot producer's office, and are now sitting there waiting for him to arrive. They all have their own separate chairs, and are in the order (from left to right) of: Heero, Duo, Wufei, Quatre, Trowa. They seem fairly nervous, as they don't know why they've been called there... except it has something to do with promoting them to a wider audience.
---------
Heero: Wonder what we're getting ourselves into now...
Quatre: I'm as giddy as a schoolboy!
Trowa: *smirks at Quatre*
Wufei: .....
Duo: It is absolutely neccessary we be here? I've got plenty better things to do than wait around for someone who's not going to show u--
The door to the office opens, and a man in his mid-forties walks in. His suit is over-starched, his shoes are blindingly shiny, and the false grin he has on appears to have been used many times, by the look of the wrinkles on his face.
Man: Hello, boys! The name's Stanley Costa of Brainwash Music TV, Inc. Nice to have you here! *sits down at his desk*
Trowa: So... why are we here?
Stanley: Well, I'm going to give all of you the chance of a lifetime to reach a wider audience!
Quatre: COOL!
Duo: What's -that- supposed to mean, in English?
Stanley: Here at Brainwash Music TV, we pride ourselves on making teen icons out of talentless people. My talent scouts have selected you fine young men to be our next experimental music group. If you just let us help you be worshipped by thousands of screaming teenage girls in order to make ourselves incredible products on your lame merchandise, you will be known in households around the galaxy as the newest hottest thing!
Wufei: I have no need for thousands of onnas! *folds his arms*
Heero: ..thousands?
Stanley: Maybe millions.
Quatre: *turns pale* Well, uh... um...
Stanley: All you have to do is sign right here! *whips out a contract and places it in front of the five of them*
Duo: I wanna be rich and famous, I'll do it! Come on guys, let's sign.
Trowa: Maybe we should read the contract first?
Quatre: I'm sure we can trust Mr. Costa... *picks up a pen and signs*
Wufei: If you insist...
They all sign the contract and hand it over to Stanley Costa. He gives them one of his big fake smiles and shakes all their hands.
Stanley: Okay, great! Welcome aboard... you're now the "G-Boyz"! Let's head down to the costume design center.
Duo: Costumes...?
Quatre: Oh yay! I love getting new things.
Heero: Is it spandex?
Stanley brings them down to the costume design center where Jay, the head fashion designer (among other things), is waiting.
Jay: So these are the G-Boyz! Welcome, guys.
Duo: Hey. What did you have in mind for new clothes?
Jay: *points to a box of clothing* They're all there, I prepared them before you got here. The changing rooms are down the hall. *hands a bundle to each of them*
Heero: *tries to peer through the dark plastic covering to see what his is*
Quatre: I hope mine is in a good color.
Trowa: I'm sure you'll look wonderful no matter what it is.
Quatre: *beams*
Wufei: I don't understand why I need to change my attire...
They enter their separate dressing rooms.
Duo: Heh, I look pretty sharp.
Wufei: This is too humiliating.
Heero: *smiles to himself*
Quatre: Ah! This is sooo great!
Trowa: I wanna see! Mine's okay.
Stanley: Come on out, let's see how you all look!
Jay: Ooo, I can't wait!
Heero: *opens the dressing room door and steps out, wearing a tight black t-shirt with oversized flannel long sleeve shirt over it, cargo camo pants, and army boots* .....
Jay: It's Heero, the tough guy one!
Stanley: Bravo!
Duo: *comes out of his dressing room wearing a Hawaiian shirt over a white tank top, shortish blue shorts, leather sandles, and black plastc sunglasses* Fwa!
Jay: Duo, the fun one! Lead singer of the G-Boyz.
Stanley: He does look ready for a day at the beach.
Duo: Heero, you're not so bad looking in that outfit yourself. *elbows him in the ribs*
Heero: *stays stoicly silent*
Quatre: Hold on a moment, I'm almost ready! *hops out of his dressing room, and has on a pink t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers* Ta-da!
Jay: Quatre, the sensitive one.
Stanley: Aha.
Trowa: *dramatically exits his dressing room, wearing a black t-shirt over a long sleeve green shirt, cargo khakis, and sneakers*
Jay: Trowa, the wild one.
Duo: Uh... no.
Stanley: Hey, you do what we say, it says it in the contract!
Quatre: *hugs Trowa* My wild Trowa... it brings tears to my sensitive eyes to see you!
Duo: *looks at Heero for a hug*
Heero: ...Where's Wufei?
Jay: Wufei, you like, have to come out and show us how you look!
Wufei: I do not approve of this apparel change.
Stanley: Come on, we have to be at the mall for your free concert by one! We don't have all day!
Wufei: Concert? *steps out of the dressing room wearing over-sized black jeans with a wallet chain attached to it, a black hooded sweatshirt, black leather boots, a silver chain necklace, and a magnetic earring in his left ear* Hmph.
Jay: Great! You guys look super!
Stanley: Come on, G-Boyz... we could've styled your hair before the show, but you took too long getting dressed... don't worry about the show. All you have to do is sing from a marquee we'll have up. Oh, and copy the dance moves Jay, out of sight to the audience, will be doing. Hurry up now!
At the mall...
Jay: Go right up there on stage! Just copy what I do... Stanley will be running the lyrics and music from over there.
Heero: I don't know about this.
Duo: I like my new duds... this is gonna be fun!
Quatre: I love this shirt... pink is sooo my color...
Trowa: Look at that... a crowd's gathering... we'd better start.
Stanley: *ushers the G-Boyz onto stage*
Jay: *gives them the thumbs-up from where the audience can't see him*
Duo: *starts dancing like Jay and reads the lyrics* Why why why...
The Rest of the G-Boyz: *join in*
A group of five girls: *screams*
Diana: Like, oh my gosh, it's the G-Boyz! This is sooooooo great! I LOVE YOU HEERO! *screams*
Hiashi: Quatre... *swoons*
Soshika: Duoduoduoduoduoduoduo! *tries to climb up onto the stage but is kept back by mall security*
Gengy: Wufei, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Wufei!
Kim: Trowa! I worship yooooooou! *hops up and down*
G-Boyz: Why why why... I'm losing this fight, baby I just wanna know what's right, let's find out tonight... why why why...
Stanley: *smiles watching the screaming fans*
The five girls: *sings along, watching the marquee*
G-Boyz: I don't wanna put stress on you, I just wanna see this through... come on, baby, let's just try... I wanna find out.. why why why!
The five girls: *screams and claps*
Stanley: G-Boyz! Let's go now... we have to get out of here before the fans get hostile.
Heero: Can we kill them?
Jay: Heavens no! Quick, out the back! Go, go, go!
The G-Boyz, Stanley, and Jay are chased out the back of the mall by a mob of screaming teenybopper girls. In the parking lot, just before they reach the van...
Hiashi: Quatre! *jumps at Quatre and tackles him* I love yooooooooooou! Sign me an autograph please! *waves a piece of paper and a pen in his face*
Quatre: Oof! No, I have to go... let go of me!
Kim: *attaches herself to Trowa's pantleg and is dragged along as he runs* I worship yoooooou! *kisses his feet*
Trowa: Off! Get off! *shakes his leg, but ends up accidently kicking Quatre*
Diana: Heero, wait! Come back to me, my love! You are sooooo the cutest one! *waves her arms in the air*
Quatre: Eek, I don't need you kicking me while there's a stampede going on, Trowa! Didn't we get bodyguards in this deal??
Gengy: Wufei! WufeiWufeiWufeiWufei! Stop, I want to talk to yoooooou!
Soshika: *grabs Duo as he runs by his Hawaiian shirt and pulls it off* I got Duo's shirt, woooo! *sits down and hugs it, nuzzling it happily*
Wufei: Onnas are quite violent when they want to be... I don't want to talk to them. Why should I? *gets pulled into the van by Stanley and Jay*
Stanley: Yes, that's true, Wufei, but they make us lots of money.
Duo: My... my shirt! Oh well...
Trowa: *pries Kim off his leg and hops in the van* I bet Heero thinks you look better in just a white muscle shirt like that.
Heero: *blushes as he sits down in the van next to Duo*
Quatre: *gulps* Uh... guys? A little help? *becomes surrounded by a mass of young girls, being hugged to death by Hiashi*
Trowa: For pete's sake... *pushes the girls out of the way and grabs Quatre away from Hiashi* Sorry, he's mine.
Stanley: *slaps his forehead* You know you're going to get your career ruined by tabloids for that, Trowa?
Quatre: X_X
Trowa: *climbs into the van with Quatre*
Jay: Everyone buckled in? Let's go... *drives off, back to the studio*
Ahem, back at the studio... which is now, by the way, swamped by a few hundred teenage girls wanting autographs and such...
Heero: I don't ever want to do that again.
Duo: I know, they were trying to steal me away from Heero!
Wufei: All those onnas can give one a headache.
Quatre: I kinda like the attention... but I'd rather have it from elsewhere. *beams at Trowa*
Trowa: Eh... n_n
Jay: Well, sorry, but you have a contract to stick to! Now let's go back to the design center and I'll tailor you some new outfits for your next concert, which is tomorrow, by the way.
Duo: I can't take any more of this... I refuse to do it!
Heero: I agree. I'm quitting.
Stanley: Now now... it says right here. You can't! *waves the contract in front of their faces*
Quatre: Oh... but... wait, no..
Trowa: That's not right. You can't run our lives like that.
Duo: He won't! *grabs the contract from Stanley and rips it up in the blink of an eye* There! We quit!
Wufei: *nods*
The five GW boys: *stomps out of the office*
Stanley: Ack! No, wait! It'll be different next time! Come back! Urg... you'll see! You'll never work for Brainwash Music TV Inc as long as I'm living!
Heero: *opens the door to the office and looks at Stanley, gun in hand* Omae o korosu..
Content: 1+2, 3+4 (though not based around it), implied violence... I'd say PG.
Setting: The GW boys were called to a big-shot producer's office, and are now sitting there waiting for him to arrive. They all have their own separate chairs, and are in the order (from left to right) of: Heero, Duo, Wufei, Quatre, Trowa. They seem fairly nervous, as they don't know why they've been called there... except it has something to do with promoting them to a wider audience.
---------
Heero: Wonder what we're getting ourselves into now...
Quatre: I'm as giddy as a schoolboy!
Trowa: *smirks at Quatre*
Wufei: .....
Duo: It is absolutely neccessary we be here? I've got plenty better things to do than wait around for someone who's not going to show u--
The door to the office opens, and a man in his mid-forties walks in. His suit is over-starched, his shoes are blindingly shiny, and the false grin he has on appears to have been used many times, by the look of the wrinkles on his face.
Man: Hello, boys! The name's Stanley Costa of Brainwash Music TV, Inc. Nice to have you here! *sits down at his desk*
Trowa: So... why are we here?
Stanley: Well, I'm going to give all of you the chance of a lifetime to reach a wider audience!
Quatre: COOL!
Duo: What's -that- supposed to mean, in English?
Stanley: Here at Brainwash Music TV, we pride ourselves on making teen icons out of talentless people. My talent scouts have selected you fine young men to be our next experimental music group. If you just let us help you be worshipped by thousands of screaming teenage girls in order to make ourselves incredible products on your lame merchandise, you will be known in households around the galaxy as the newest hottest thing!
Wufei: I have no need for thousands of onnas! *folds his arms*
Heero: ..thousands?
Stanley: Maybe millions.
Quatre: *turns pale* Well, uh... um...
Stanley: All you have to do is sign right here! *whips out a contract and places it in front of the five of them*
Duo: I wanna be rich and famous, I'll do it! Come on guys, let's sign.
Trowa: Maybe we should read the contract first?
Quatre: I'm sure we can trust Mr. Costa... *picks up a pen and signs*
Wufei: If you insist...
They all sign the contract and hand it over to Stanley Costa. He gives them one of his big fake smiles and shakes all their hands.
Stanley: Okay, great! Welcome aboard... you're now the "G-Boyz"! Let's head down to the costume design center.
Duo: Costumes...?
Quatre: Oh yay! I love getting new things.
Heero: Is it spandex?
Stanley brings them down to the costume design center where Jay, the head fashion designer (among other things), is waiting.
Jay: So these are the G-Boyz! Welcome, guys.
Duo: Hey. What did you have in mind for new clothes?
Jay: *points to a box of clothing* They're all there, I prepared them before you got here. The changing rooms are down the hall. *hands a bundle to each of them*
Heero: *tries to peer through the dark plastic covering to see what his is*
Quatre: I hope mine is in a good color.
Trowa: I'm sure you'll look wonderful no matter what it is.
Quatre: *beams*
Wufei: I don't understand why I need to change my attire...
They enter their separate dressing rooms.
Duo: Heh, I look pretty sharp.
Wufei: This is too humiliating.
Heero: *smiles to himself*
Quatre: Ah! This is sooo great!
Trowa: I wanna see! Mine's okay.
Stanley: Come on out, let's see how you all look!
Jay: Ooo, I can't wait!
Heero: *opens the dressing room door and steps out, wearing a tight black t-shirt with oversized flannel long sleeve shirt over it, cargo camo pants, and army boots* .....
Jay: It's Heero, the tough guy one!
Stanley: Bravo!
Duo: *comes out of his dressing room wearing a Hawaiian shirt over a white tank top, shortish blue shorts, leather sandles, and black plastc sunglasses* Fwa!
Jay: Duo, the fun one! Lead singer of the G-Boyz.
Stanley: He does look ready for a day at the beach.
Duo: Heero, you're not so bad looking in that outfit yourself. *elbows him in the ribs*
Heero: *stays stoicly silent*
Quatre: Hold on a moment, I'm almost ready! *hops out of his dressing room, and has on a pink t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers* Ta-da!
Jay: Quatre, the sensitive one.
Stanley: Aha.
Trowa: *dramatically exits his dressing room, wearing a black t-shirt over a long sleeve green shirt, cargo khakis, and sneakers*
Jay: Trowa, the wild one.
Duo: Uh... no.
Stanley: Hey, you do what we say, it says it in the contract!
Quatre: *hugs Trowa* My wild Trowa... it brings tears to my sensitive eyes to see you!
Duo: *looks at Heero for a hug*
Heero: ...Where's Wufei?
Jay: Wufei, you like, have to come out and show us how you look!
Wufei: I do not approve of this apparel change.
Stanley: Come on, we have to be at the mall for your free concert by one! We don't have all day!
Wufei: Concert? *steps out of the dressing room wearing over-sized black jeans with a wallet chain attached to it, a black hooded sweatshirt, black leather boots, a silver chain necklace, and a magnetic earring in his left ear* Hmph.
Jay: Great! You guys look super!
Stanley: Come on, G-Boyz... we could've styled your hair before the show, but you took too long getting dressed... don't worry about the show. All you have to do is sing from a marquee we'll have up. Oh, and copy the dance moves Jay, out of sight to the audience, will be doing. Hurry up now!
At the mall...
Jay: Go right up there on stage! Just copy what I do... Stanley will be running the lyrics and music from over there.
Heero: I don't know about this.
Duo: I like my new duds... this is gonna be fun!
Quatre: I love this shirt... pink is sooo my color...
Trowa: Look at that... a crowd's gathering... we'd better start.
Stanley: *ushers the G-Boyz onto stage*
Jay: *gives them the thumbs-up from where the audience can't see him*
Duo: *starts dancing like Jay and reads the lyrics* Why why why...
The Rest of the G-Boyz: *join in*
A group of five girls: *screams*
Diana: Like, oh my gosh, it's the G-Boyz! This is sooooooo great! I LOVE YOU HEERO! *screams*
Hiashi: Quatre... *swoons*
Soshika: Duoduoduoduoduoduoduo! *tries to climb up onto the stage but is kept back by mall security*
Gengy: Wufei, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Wufei!
Kim: Trowa! I worship yooooooou! *hops up and down*
G-Boyz: Why why why... I'm losing this fight, baby I just wanna know what's right, let's find out tonight... why why why...
Stanley: *smiles watching the screaming fans*
The five girls: *sings along, watching the marquee*
G-Boyz: I don't wanna put stress on you, I just wanna see this through... come on, baby, let's just try... I wanna find out.. why why why!
The five girls: *screams and claps*
Stanley: G-Boyz! Let's go now... we have to get out of here before the fans get hostile.
Heero: Can we kill them?
Jay: Heavens no! Quick, out the back! Go, go, go!
The G-Boyz, Stanley, and Jay are chased out the back of the mall by a mob of screaming teenybopper girls. In the parking lot, just before they reach the van...
Hiashi: Quatre! *jumps at Quatre and tackles him* I love yooooooooooou! Sign me an autograph please! *waves a piece of paper and a pen in his face*
Quatre: Oof! No, I have to go... let go of me!
Kim: *attaches herself to Trowa's pantleg and is dragged along as he runs* I worship yoooooou! *kisses his feet*
Trowa: Off! Get off! *shakes his leg, but ends up accidently kicking Quatre*
Diana: Heero, wait! Come back to me, my love! You are sooooo the cutest one! *waves her arms in the air*
Quatre: Eek, I don't need you kicking me while there's a stampede going on, Trowa! Didn't we get bodyguards in this deal??
Gengy: Wufei! WufeiWufeiWufeiWufei! Stop, I want to talk to yoooooou!
Soshika: *grabs Duo as he runs by his Hawaiian shirt and pulls it off* I got Duo's shirt, woooo! *sits down and hugs it, nuzzling it happily*
Wufei: Onnas are quite violent when they want to be... I don't want to talk to them. Why should I? *gets pulled into the van by Stanley and Jay*
Stanley: Yes, that's true, Wufei, but they make us lots of money.
Duo: My... my shirt! Oh well...
Trowa: *pries Kim off his leg and hops in the van* I bet Heero thinks you look better in just a white muscle shirt like that.
Heero: *blushes as he sits down in the van next to Duo*
Quatre: *gulps* Uh... guys? A little help? *becomes surrounded by a mass of young girls, being hugged to death by Hiashi*
Trowa: For pete's sake... *pushes the girls out of the way and grabs Quatre away from Hiashi* Sorry, he's mine.
Stanley: *slaps his forehead* You know you're going to get your career ruined by tabloids for that, Trowa?
Quatre: X_X
Trowa: *climbs into the van with Quatre*
Jay: Everyone buckled in? Let's go... *drives off, back to the studio*
Ahem, back at the studio... which is now, by the way, swamped by a few hundred teenage girls wanting autographs and such...
Heero: I don't ever want to do that again.
Duo: I know, they were trying to steal me away from Heero!
Wufei: All those onnas can give one a headache.
Quatre: I kinda like the attention... but I'd rather have it from elsewhere. *beams at Trowa*
Trowa: Eh... n_n
Jay: Well, sorry, but you have a contract to stick to! Now let's go back to the design center and I'll tailor you some new outfits for your next concert, which is tomorrow, by the way.
Duo: I can't take any more of this... I refuse to do it!
Heero: I agree. I'm quitting.
Stanley: Now now... it says right here. You can't! *waves the contract in front of their faces*
Quatre: Oh... but... wait, no..
Trowa: That's not right. You can't run our lives like that.
Duo: He won't! *grabs the contract from Stanley and rips it up in the blink of an eye* There! We quit!
Wufei: *nods*
The five GW boys: *stomps out of the office*
Stanley: Ack! No, wait! It'll be different next time! Come back! Urg... you'll see! You'll never work for Brainwash Music TV Inc as long as I'm living!
Heero: *opens the door to the office and looks at Stanley, gun in hand* Omae o korosu..