TITLE: Easy To Ignore
AUTHOR: Laura
SPOILERS: Season 5 Carter and Lucy
ARCHIVE: Please do, but drop me a line so I can check out your site!
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SUMMARY: Lucy finally lets Carter know how angry she can get.
AUTHORS NOTES: The song used in this very short fic is 'Easy To Ignore', by Sixpence None The Richer. Enjoy.
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You and the moon are a beautiful sight to me.
The stars in your eyes make it really hard to see.
A night in the sun is all I really want.
You and me with the best of both for once.
Since Lucy had arrived at Cook County, she and Carter had fought constantly – at first because he was angry that Anna had left him and Lucy was a scapegoat for his anger and she was inexperienced and wanted to please everybody. Even after they had resolved their individual problems, the fighting continued. It seemed to be a habit that they just couldn't break.
She had thought it had all changed when Corrina was brought in, and he joined her in the search for Keith Nelson. The shared several 'moments' during that day and when they were sitting on the roof, his good arm around her shoulder, she was certain that all the fighting would be behind them and they would become friends. She could not have been more wrong.
Night Breaks.
My heart could not ache anymore.
Am I that easy to ignore?
She spent her working days in the ER trying to please him – bringing him coffee, writing up his cases, things like that. But nothing was ever good enough. She was always doing something wrong, and it seemed he could not wait to pick up on it. He would yell at her for no apparent reason and take out all his anger on her. Today was no different, but at least he had a semi-decent reason this time.
"What on earth did you say to Mark about me?" Carters voice was accusing as he barged his way into the Lounge. She was not in the mood for this today. She was going off Ritalin cold turkey, and was suffering from withdrawals.
"I told him the truth." Her voice was just as accusing. "He asked me, by the way, before you go and think that I was going behind your back. I told him that you never listen to what I have to say. You ignore me and treat me like a child instead of a med-student. That you take out all your anger on me." He tried to interrupt, but she would have none of it. This had been bottled up for too long, and he had picked the wrong time to start this with her. "I'm here to learn Dr. Carter! To learn! Not to put up with your shit every day of the week! I work my butt off for you. Granted, I've messed up here and there, and done things that were so very wrong, but thats no reason for you to treat me the way you do. I only want to please you. Thats all. Thats all it's ever been. And when I try to talk to you about things, you act like I'm not there, or I'm not important enough to listen too! Am I that easy to ignore?" She finished her speech abruptly. She looked up at Carter, who was looking at her in shock and her face flushed red in embarrassment. "I...ooh god...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she stammered before running from the room.
You let your song blow right through me.
Your mighty intellect makes you mighty hard to see.
Will there come a time for me to be more to you,
More to me?
Lucy was absolutely mortified. She knew that she would have to face him soon – she couldn't hide in an exam room forever - and she was dreading it more than anything in her life. She was certain that he was never going to talk to her again, except to bark orders at her. That reality pained her more than she thought possible. All she had ever wanted was a friendship from him and now there was absolutely no chance of that happening. Her mortification was rapidly turning into anger. Why should she fell guilty? He was the one who had caused all of this. He was the one who treated her like a child!
"I thought I would find you in here," Carters voice broke her from her reverie, and made her jump. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't even heard him come in.
"Wow, you must be psychic," Lucy replied and immediately regretted it. She wanted to work this out, not make it worse. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that,"
"Yes I did," He looked at Lucy, who was shocked. Carter started pacing and continued. "You are right. I have been unfair to you Lucy, through no fault of yours. I know it's no excuse, but it had been a rough year for me, then you came to here and were assigned to me..." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Anna had only just left and you reminded me of her. I was angry. You were there and I took everything out on you. And I'm sorry,"
Lucy had no idea what to say. There was no way on this earth, or any other for that matter, she had expected him to apologise.
"I...um...well...thats, uh...yeah," Seeing that she was at a loss for words, Carter interuppted her.
"Accept my apology? Yes or no?"
"Yes. Thank-you," Lucy broke into a smile "But, things have to change, Dr. Carter. No more yelling at me for things that are not my fault. Oh, and listen to me when I talk,"
"Agreed," He opened the door for her, and followed her out. "Anyway, you are not all that easy to ignore."
Night breaks.
My heart could not ache anymore.
Am I that easy to ignore?