CHAPTER 3: LOVERS
The darkness that I remembered to have closed in on me slowly lifted like the curtain it was.
Now I could dimly make out shapes, colors, and a bright light directly above me. Eyes tightly
shut, I shook my head to clear my sight but, to my surprise, only succeeded in making my
ears ring. Next to me, I heard soft, chirpy giggles. "Get up, sleepyhead!"
"Quatre?" I mumbled tiredly.
There was a pause, painfully clear and as thick as the sesame soup I had pulled Quatre out of
earlier. "No, Trowa," the voice answered slowly, rather sadly, "It's Hito."
"Hito?" My eyes flashed open, and I bolted up. After the dancing blots cleared from my vision,
it took a short moment to reorient myself. On the bed--in the motel bedroom... That was it. My
forehead felt different, and I made a movement to touch it when a sharp pain flashed through
my left wrist. I stifled a gasp and moved my right arm to cradle the injured limb, and it was
then that I discovered my reflexes had slowed. The ache in my stronger arm had faded, but to
my amazement, so had every other sensation. The arm, though still mobile, was completely
numb. Seeing as it hurt less than my wrist, however, I raised it to my hairline, only to find that
something lay between my fingertips and my skin. I looked curiously at Hito. "Bandages?"
She sighed and put a hand on my chest. Immediately I tensed up, but she either didn't notice
or didn't care. "You have a bump on your head, much like the one Quatre has, but yours isn't
as bad. I guess it was enough to knock you out though. For someone so thin, you must have
lost of muscles or something. Man, you're heavier than you look! I had to practically drag you
across the floor to get you in here." She made reference to my losing consciousness on the
couch, but I had been focusing on something else. When she mentioned Quatre, I ceased to
hear the rest of her words, my thoughts only wanting to wonder on my partner.
She must have seen something change in my expression, for her next words caught me
completely off guard. "Don't worry, Trowa. Your Quatre is fine."
I blinked, my mouth falling open. The flow of blood to my brain stopped, and I could only
stare.
Hito smiled neutrally, her face conveying no emotion whatsoever. "Your Quatre is resting
peacefully on the couch, right where you left him. You don't have to get up," she pushed me
slightly though I did not lie back down. "I changed his bandages and made sure the fever
went down. He shouldn't be bothered yet. I know he'll be wanting to see you when he wakes
up."
"How do you know that?" I asked suspiciously, although my mind had been somewhat
appeased.
She laughed. Her laughter too was deathly lacking in warmth and feeling. "How do you know
that, he says...don't play with me Trowa. I know." She looked a bit annoyed when I stared at
her, dumbfounded. "I know how you two feel towards each other. I've seen the looks you guys
exchange. That night, when Quatre brought me back here and treated me to coffee, you gave
him one glance and he was over you like a fly on honey. I'll bet you plain forgot that I was
even there, right?"
I didn't answer, knowing full well that she was one hundred percent correct.
Hito continued. "And even before that, in the alleyway after I was fired," she choked on that
word, "You followed Quatre like no one I've ever seen. All he had to do was look at you once,
and you didn't even need to ask him to know what he wanted. And you were willing to go
along with it, even though your other friends seemed very unhappy about the whole thing.
They didn't matter, did they?" I didn't answer. "Did they??"
"...No."
She smirked, having gotten confirmation out of me. "And why should they matter? I asked
myself that when we were walking to the motel. I listened to Quatre talk, and oh did he talk!
Do you remember that?" I nodded, though I didn't really. All I really remembered was how
troubled I'd been that Quatre was devoting himself so much to a total, complete stranger.
As if sensing my lie, Hito explained further. "He told me about himself, made me feel
comfortable being around you guys so I wouldn't be scared anymore. I didn't care about
anything but talking to him. As we walked, the moon got bigger and bigger in the sky. I
remember that. I remember thinking that entire time, 'God, I love this boy.' And I did. I still
do." At my horrified look, she laughed huffily. "But then I realized something else. Something
that I couldn't compare with, ever. Something that not even Quatre could fight." Then she
stopped.
I opened my mouth and was about to ask her what that "something" was when suddenly she
jumped onto the bed with me, wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me full on the
mouth.
My brain reacted instantly, and I shoved her away, jumping out of bed in the process.
Breathing heavily, as if my mind needed the extra oxygen, I retreated as far as I could
towards the nearest wall and glared at the rude girl. Hito fell backwards but quickly sat back
up. "What!" I demanded furiously.
She held up a hand, signaling my peace. Something glimmered in her eyes; it was the look of
a crushed animal, defeated and broken. She tried to smile, but couldn't. The glimmering in
her eyes had become the start of tears. "I hate being right, don't you?" she asked, direly
staring up at me from her fallen spot on the bed.
In an instant, I knew what she meant. She had proved her point: Quatre and I were meant to
be together, and not even someone as vivacious and resplendent as Hito could come
between us. By kissing me, she was testing my loyalty towards my partner, to which I had
passed with flying colors and more. And she knew now too that she had no real chance of
anything more than friendship. This was as far as she would come to knowing me and Quatre.
Now I could see her in a different light. I understood and leveled with her. "Hito, I'm truly
sorry."
She knew that I was referring to her romantic pain and not my pushing her. Yet throughout all
her tragedy, she managed a small smile. "It's okay, really. I think I knew deep down from the
moment I saw him that it was too good to be true. He looks like an angel, you know. Did you
ever tell him that?"
I shook my head. "I always though he knew though, what I was thinking."
"Just like you know what he's thinking, right? Maybe that's the way it works. Well, you tell him
all the same. I would have liked to tell him myself, but it would only make things harder for
me." I nodded, but she determinedly stopped me a second time. She had something else to
say. "He looks just like he was delivered from heaven, with eyes as blue as the sky, and hair
as bright as gold. You make sure to tell him, he looks like an angel."
By now, a soft flow of tears trickled freely from her eyes. I felt the odd urge to comfort her.
"Hito, your eyes, your hair, they're not much different from Quatre's you know. And your
backgrounds are so similar..."
She shook her head. "No, no they're different. I couldn't ever be that lucky to have Quatre's
looks. Of course, I am more feminine, but aside from that, Quatre's so unique I would never
be compared to him...in more ways than one." I nodded, acknowledging her reference to our
romantic rejection of her. "Quatre's an angel and I'm just a girl. As for our backgrounds, it's
purely coincidence."
At that, I was left wordless. I had no idea she felt so strongly towards Quatre. It almost rivaled
my own love. I was no longer angry at her words or actions, merely compassionate for a
woman with the same cause as mine.
"But, Trowa, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I hate pity. And pity from you would be
cheap, ironically so. Who would've thought that the one guy I finally thought was absolutely
perfect for me turned out to be gay?" She laughed bitterly through her tears. "Life always has
a way of playing with you, doesn't it?"
"Well, if it makes you feel better, I thought you made quite an impression on him."
Although I thought my statement was justified, Hito bristled at my antagonistic tone of voice.
"How dare you!" I looked at her, dumfounded at what she meant. "How dare you," she hissed
lower, just as violently. "You're Quatre's romantic partner, and you're telling me that you didn't
really believe in him? You actually thought that he would leave you for me?"
The blood rushed to my face as I tried to defend myself. "Well you seemed to go for him, and
what was I to think anyway? You're rather pretty for a woman, if I might say so myself, and
Quatre never claimed to be gay! He could only be bisexual, for all I know. I always just
accepted him for who he was, never questioned him, so how was I to know that--"
"Hush, Trowa," Hito said quietly, suddenly mindful of something. "Your voice just got about
ten decibels louder. Did you forget about Quatre, lying on the couch?" At this point I shut my
mouth for good, remembering that Quatre was indeed asleep on the couch, and let her do the
talking. "It wasn't my intention to anger you, I just wanted you to understand. If you really
believed that you and Quatre are it, el fin, the last act, the real deal, whatever you want to call
it, then you should have no reason to doubt what you have. I mean, don't let me get in the
way, please! I'm just a little more than a stranger, and you should know better than to
question Quatre's loyalty. I've known him hardly more than twenty-four hours, and even I
know that with Quatre, what you see is what you get."
"I know," I said, my justly ashamed voice barely audible so that Hito had to lean forward on
the bed to hear. "It's just...Quatre's such a lovable person, and knowing that my personality
doesn't exactly invite love makes me worry about losing Quatre. I know that he is who he
appears to be, but that doesn't make me fear that his feelings will change in the future."
"Trowa." Hito had gotten off the bed and now stood in front of me, looking disappointed in me.
"If you were worried, why didn't you talk to him? That's what you're obligated to do, right?"
"Yeah, but I seem to have a problem with that too." She looked at me accusingly. "I know, I
know. I'll talk to him as soon as he's better, when the time is right." Abruptly, I stopped. "Hey,
how come you seem to know so much about this subject? You're lively, fairly amiable, so
where's your guy?"
Hito's disappointment grew. "Don't try to change the subject. Those compliments will get you
nowhere, but if you really want to know about me, fine. Fine, okay, I'll tell you if that's what
you really want to talk about: there was another reason that I left earth. Five years and three
months ago, and I remember the exact date, it was the fourteenth, I was left at the altar by a
man who I thought loved me. I'm only nineteen now, and you'd think that marriage wasn't
permitted at that age, but my family was given privileges. Like you, Trowa, I feel nothing
wrong in developing such a strong emotional bond at such an age. But I thought I really loved
him, and I cried and cried, until I thought I couldn't cry anymore. Those tears just kept
coming. They were endless, like the ocean.
"Anyway, that's it. That was the real reason I left earth. My father could support me if he knew
my whereabouts, but I left without telling anyone where I would be going. Hell, I didn't even
know back then where I'd wind up, just wanted to get away. And all these years I've just been
trying to forget about the earth."
"But why? Why did you completely abandon the earth for space? There are other countries
you could go, you know."
"No, you don't understand." Despite her efforts, Hito's tears had started again, demonstrating
her claim on the boundlessness of said droplets. "It was shameful, you see. I was scared and
repentant for something I could no longer control. To even stay on the same planet would
have brought on a deep loss of respect for my father, a well-to-do businessman, and I could
never live with that. So I did what any strong person would do; I left."
"Yes," I answered approvingly. "You are strong, more so than you look."
She laughed somberly and wiped at her face, smudging at the wet marks. "Yeah, you know
it's in the blood. I'm just part of the fighting Irish. But this isn't about me. You just wanted to
change the subject, didn't you Trowa?" I smiled a little, happy that she was finally perking up
and making a mental note that she was at least part Irish. It made sense, with the teal eyes
and blonde hair. Given her high, distinguished cheekbones and naturally fine eyebrows, I
could narrow down that she was also part Latin, like myself. She smiled at me and cleared
her throat. "So, how about we take a look at your Quatre?"
I nodded eagerly and made my way to the door, observing her recurrent emphasis on the
possessive pronoun and mentally thanking her for giving up her claim on the blonde boy. He
was rightfully mine, and not merely in the physical sense. Quatre had said once that we
belonged to each other. How right he was.
Unlike the musty, stale oxygen that had gathered in the bedroom, the air in the rest of the
motel room was clear and fresh. I swiftly moved over to the couch, where the boy had turned
on his uninjured side and now lay with his back against the backrest of the couch. Hito was
right; the bandages were clean and fixed, and I caught the scent of healing ointment in the
gauze. His fever too had reduced to an almost unnoticeable flush, so that he looked like he
was blushing in his sleep. A sure sign of recovery was that his breathing was calm and quiet,
barely distinct even as I kneeled down next to him. His eyelids twitched slightly when I made
a gentle brush at his bangs, but beyond that there was still no response.
From beside me I sensed a presence and looked up to see Hito standing there. She looked
between the two of us and said quite mysteriously, "You don't need to question him, Trowa."
And with that, she bent down in front of my shocked eyes and kissed Quatre passionately, full
on the lips.
This time, rather than call out in anger, I tried my patience, not an easy task to accomplish
since I really wanted to slap her then and there for daring to even touch my little one. But my
mind had taken over my instincts, and it told me to wait for an explanation from Hito, who
always seemed to explain herself exceptionally well. I was not disappointed, for she said,
"See? No response whatsoever, even after a kiss like that. Quatre doesn't feel anything for
me at all. He's all yours, Trowa." She winked. She had to kiss Quatre to prove that to me??
But rather than let my madness control me, I nodded and counted to ten slowly. By the time
ten rolled around, I was calm again and saw her point. She's good at letting others know
what's on her mind...Instead, I thought of something else. "How long exactly was I
unconscious?"
"Hmm, well, I'd say a little over two an a half hours. Why?"
"Quatre should be waking up soon. He's slept a lot since our mission completion, and at his
age he'll make a quick recovery."
There was no answer from the talkative girl. "Hito?" She was no longer in the room, had
disappeared quite suddenly. I ignored her, thinking she'd be back soon, then shook my head
and continued stroking Quatre's hair. Hito was right, the boy was beautiful in every way
possible. No one would be able to surpass his looks or his personality. I would have to tell
Quatre when he woke up...
Upon hearing a shuffling noise at the door, I reluctantly let my hand fall from Quatre's warm
forehead. Who knows we're here? I quietly made my way for the door, making sure to brace
myself if it was an intruder, or even worse, a soldier. The numbing ache almost gone, my
right hand immediately went for my handgun, only to discover that it wasn't there. I cursed
myself for leaving it in the cockpit. It's times like these when I really hate myself...
Nearing the bend, I pressed up against the wall and peeked my head around, hoping to catch
a head start on whoever was sneaking around back there.
I let out a sigh. "Hito." It was only the girl. She was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, and in
front of her was a considerably small suitcase made of brown leather, about the size of a thick
briefcase. The suitcase was open; a sock dangled from one brim while the other supported
the cuff of a sleeve. Hito was shifting through it urgently, looking for something in particular.
After more shifting, the result to me appeared to be a very disorderly suitcase, but Hito stood
up triumphantly, one hand closed tightly over something I could not descry. She shoved her
hand in front of my face and opened it. "There!" she said.
I backed away a bit until my eyes could focus on the object. It turned out to be a transparent,
unnaturally smooth blue stone, more like a pendant. A barely visible nylon thread had been
tied crudely around a silver loophole on the top of the stone. And the stone was oddly shaped,
rather circular but not perfectly formed.
I looked from the pendant to Hito, who looked very pleased with her discovery. "You like?"
she asked.
I nodded. "What is it?"
Her smile grew wider. "It's very special," she said mysteriously. "A special type of aquamarine
that was rumored to have come from a volcano deep under the ocean floor." She winked and
pointed at the center of the gem. "See that?"
I inspected the stone closer and indeed saw a solid, opaque black oval. "What is it?" I asked
in wonder.
Proudly, Hito said, "That's a piece of the volcano rock that just happened to break off and get
caught inside the stone as it was cooling. When the magma cooled around it and became an
aquamarine, that piece of obsidian was stuck inside, trapped within a clear wall of blue."
"Incredible story," I said.
She only shrugged, as if it didn't matter whether or not I believed her. "I don't think it's a story.
But that's not what's important about this." She pushed the pendant into my hands and said,
"Take a closer look, and tell me what it reminds you of."
Bewildered, I could only follow her instructions. The blue of the stone was vaguely
reminiscent of something, but they were dark, not bright like any other aquamarine I had ever
seen. In fact, it seemed more like a sapphire than aquamarine. And in the dark blue, almost
black, I could only barely discern the obsidian in the middle. I shook my head. "I don't know."
Hito, now just as puzzled as I, bent over to stare at the stone. She scrunched up her nose in
confusion until suddenly she snapped her finger. "That's it! Okay, I got it now." She snatched
the pendant and held it up to a bulb on the ceiling. "There: now tell me what it looks like."
I looked at the piece of rock between her hands. Now it was obvious to me. Although it had
been very dark before, the light behind now illuminated the center of the stone so that the
edges were a cerulean color that faded to teal near the center. And now, the obsidian center
was clearly distinguishable. The answer to Hito's question, also, was in my grasp.
Awed by this occurrence, I whispered, "It looks like an eye."
Hito joyously clapped her hands together, taking care not to crush the stone. "Not just any
eye!"
"...Quatre's..."
She subdued her happiness. "Yes, that's what I though of when I first looked into Quatre's
eyes."
"Only one difference: this is transparent, see-through. Quatre's eyes are different. They've got
some kind of life behind them. They're intense."
"I know what you mean," she said wistfully. "Do you know where I got this?" I shook my head.
"My mother, just before she died, gave this pendant to my father. It had been given to her by
her mother, my grandmother, and has great personal importance to me and my family. In
fact, my father gave it to me the day before my wedding. When I showed my fiancee, he had
said, 'It's like a window to the heart: dark and hidden when alone, secrets untold, but clear and
beautiful when there is light to shine in its path.' And that's how I've always seen this stone."
"It must be incredibly important to you, personally I mean." I still had no idea where Hito was
leading me.
"Yes, it is. And that's why," she smiled sweetly, opened my hand and gently placed the
pendant in my hand once more, "I want you to have it."
I was left stunned and automatically said, "Thank you. But why?"
"Trowa, this is my gift to both you and Quatre. Do you remember what I told you to tell Quatre
someday? About him being incredibly beautiful, like an angel?" I nodded. "When you tell him,
and I really hope you do soon, give him this pendant. Tell him the story behind it and what it
once meant to someone. He doesn't ever have to know it came from me. But he has to hear
it; he'll appreciate it, Trowa. He'll come to see it as a personal gift from his love, and I know it
will mean a lot to him."
"And you want him to have a piece of yourself, am I right?" I asked, a bit disgusted at her
motives.
She shook her head. "I don't want him to have a piece of me. He has enough of life and
enough of you that he doesn't need anything else. I want you to have it first, because you and
I have a common interest: Quatre. You, of all people, should understand why I'm giving you
my heirloom. I'm not so selfish as to leave a legacy of myself to Quatre. That's not it at all.
What I want to do is prove myself to you. And don't say that I don't need to, because even
though you may or may not feel that way, I do. You rightfully belong with Quatre, and I won't
interfere with something so wonderful. All I ask is that you remember to be loyal to Quatre, to
trust him. Don't doubt him, and my job here will have been done.
"And I want Quatre to have it after you, because it will bring you two closer together. I don't
need to play matchmaker; that time has been passed already, and the both of you are well on
your way in life. But it will be a reminder for him, this gift from his partner, that you will always
love Quatre. He will see that there really are people in the universe that understand his
romantic situation. They understand and will not combat it. But first, Trowa, you have to make
sure you explain this to him. And you have to remember why I'm telling you this."
"Hito. I..." My mind stopped working all together as I absorbed her speech, word for word. She
was right, of course, and I would have to thank her after Quatre woke up. But something else
caught my attention: Hito's suitcase. It hadn't struck notice in me before, but now that I had
time to think, it was out of place, sitting by the doorway as if its owner was on the way out.
I understood now. "You're leaving?"
Hito answered, "Yes. I was going to leave early this morning and was all packed, but as I was
just about to step out, well...I opened the door and there you were with Quatre. You guys
looked in pretty bad condition at the time, and I figured you came back for a reason; either it
was safer for you here or you just wanted to stay a while until new orders came. Besides, I
wasn't going anywhere specific yet, so I rethought my departure and decided that you
probably needed me more tonight."
"But Quatre told you to stay longer. He's right, this room has already been paid for in full. And
it's not the best, but it's far more comfortable than the streets."
She giggled. "Yeah, I know. But see, I was planning on leaving early and getting refunded
what Quatre had already paid. That way, I could find a job and sparingly live off of the extra
money for a while. I figured it was better than staying here the entire time; motels aren't
cheap either, and that would've used up what I could have spent on food. I don't mind the
warehouse in the meantime. I was telling the truth when I said it was decorated. I think I've
even come to adore that place. I had everything planned out, and I can't wait here anymore."
"Well, can't you just stay another day or two? I'm sure Quatre would like to thank you for the
gift."
"No, I told you already. I don't want Quatre to know it came from me, got it? And as for me
staying here, a day is enough. All this hospitality is blurring my focus; Quatre can be
extremely distracting, and hey, I might even get used to this lifestyle." She smiled and
sniffled, pushing a stray curl of hair back behind her ears. "No, I have to leave now. I've got a
bus to catch."
I couldn't believe that I wanted her to stay, but I did. It seemed that in one day, she had found
out just as much about Quatre as I had discovered in half a year. Her perception was
incredible, and an ally like her was a great advantage. "I'll tell him everything you said, but
I've got a term of my own." She looked at me in bafflement, but nodded. "You have to return
to this motel in one week, okay? Remember that, next Friday. Come back to this motel and
tell the front desk who you are. I want to contact you one last time before we part, alright?"
"Why, but...o-okay," she stammered.
I stared one last time at the stone in my palm. "Are you sure about giving me this?"
"Completely. I've never been more sure of something in my life."
I smiled. "Okay. Well, you've got a bus to catch, right?"
"Right," she said cheerily. She hurriedly stuffed the loose clothes back into her suitcase and
opened the door, taking one look around before stepping out.
I saw her leaving and was ready to shut the door when suddenly she whirled around and put
her free arm out, reaching to trace the outline of my cheekbones. "Quatre is an angel, Trowa.
And you are his protector. There is no bond without complete and utter trust, and I know what
you have is real. Find the courage in yourself, Trowa. Find the protector in you..."
And then she was gone.
* * *
what will happen next? TBC...