TITLE:
Darkest Before Dawn #10 "Revelation"
AUTHOR:
Nmissi
PART: 10/?
DISCLAIMER: I own Nothing and No one. Especially not Spike. If I did,
what makes you think I'd share him with you?
DISTRIBUTION: Anybody, just credit me and let me know where it's
going.
Feedback: Please. Nmissi@aol.com
SUMMARY: The way the world would work if I wrote the Buffyverse.
She stared out into an assortment of
demonic visages, seeking reassurance. But the light was in her eyes, and she
couldn't quite make out Angel's face at the table, so she settled her eyes on a
fixed point, and steeled her nerves. She'd chosen her music for its comforting
familiarity. It was one of her mother's favorite songs. But facing a roomful of
inhuman creatures, she was made to wonder-
Had anybody ever sang Crystal Gayle
in here before?
Her voice warbled and trembled, and
in places it broke. But the song came differently for her now, than it normally
did. She'd sang it last, when her mother was still alive. The tears were
falling freely now, but they did not stop her voice. She sang the words like
she meant them; she was truly "Ready for the times to get better."
She sang the last words, and waited
for the music to stop. Then she descended the steps from the stage, feeling
weak and woozy. Suddenly arms were there, and a green skinned demon with horns
collected her in them as she went down.
"Clear back, everybody, clear
back. Just a little post-traumatic
stage fright. Nothing to be concerned about."
She came around, and saw him again.
The ugly green guy. He was gazing at her with such compassion- Suddenly he was
jostled out of the way and his kindly face was replaced with Angel's own,
rather troubled one.
"Dawn? Dawn? Can you hear me?"
To the Demon he asked,
"What's wrong with her? She sang, what
happened?"
The host smiled disarmingly and
shrugged.
"It's nothing- Just nerves. I don't
guess our Dawn is accustomed to singing in front of people."
Turning back to her he continued,
"Lovely performance, by the way,
sweetheart. I was very moved."
It was true; he'd been dabbing at
his eyes through the whole song, and tear-tracks had stained his cheeks.
"Did it work?" She asked.
"Let's get you off the floor before
we talk, okay, honey?"
Together the host and the Vampire
lifted her under her arms, and helped her to walk.
"Here, let's take her to my office.
Vision-girl, get her a glass of water at the bar; there's a good girl."
They got her into a lush room behind
the bar, and laid her down on a small sofa along the wall.
She sat up, and Cordy shoved another
glass of water in her hand.
"-Knew I should have made her eat
something. We did Rodeo Drive from morning to night, and all she ate was
burrito at taco bell- I should have known this would happen, I'm a terrible-"
Dawn cut off the distraught
Cordelia.
"I'm okay, Cordy. Honest. I just
have this thing about crowds. I'm sorry."
She realized Angel was timing her
pulse, and she shoved his hand off her wrist.
"God, Angel- Overprotective, much?
Gees. I fainted. No Big. Happens to all kinds of people."
She drank the water, and looked up
at the host. He was watching her with those big sad eyes, full of empathy and
kindness. She took a deep breath.
"So. What did you see?"
He smiled at her again, and his flip
tone belied his serious words.
"Well, I saw that you're about the
cutest little warped portal I ever did see- Even in that atrocious Tommy
Hilfiger Sweatshirt."
He shot Cordelia a harsh look.
Angel cut in.
"So, is it true? What she believes,
is it, well- Real?"
His voice was sharp and desperate.
He didn't want to believe her, she realized. He'd rather she were crazy than
correct.
The host looked back at him.
"Well, if you're asking is she
the-key-turned- pretty-human-girlie, I'd have to give you a great big YES-"
It was Dawn's turn to interrupt now.
"That was just Angel's question, I
already knew that. What I want to know is if I can get my mother back. Can you
tell that by reading my soul? If what the monks did, I can do too, so I can
bring Mom back?"
It was back again, that horrible
look of pain and sympathy. It made her stomach turn over, made her want to
wretch.
He placed a hand upon her shoulder.
"If it could be done, it would be a
very bad thing, honey. Your mom- Her soul is gone on. You could bring back her
body, or create a new one- But she wouldn't be in it."
"But why wasn't it Bad when it was
done to make me? Wh"-
He looked away, but not in time. Not
in time for Dawn to miss the look of hesitancy, the tight lip and clenched jaw.
She moaned.
"Oh God. Oh God. It WAS a bad thing,
wasn't it?"
She started to cry, and Angel moved
in to hold her, but she slapped him away again.
"Am I- Am I a demon?"
The nice green man took her hand
gently in his own.
"No, honey."
"Well, do I have a soul?"
His gentle voice and soft smile
soothed her, for a moment.
"I had to read it, didn't I?"
"Then why am I bad?" she wailed.
"Oh, no, honey, You're not bad. What
was done to create you,"
His face twisted in a vulgar sneer.
"That was the evil."
She watched his face carefully.
"What did they do?"
He squeezed her hand, and searched
her eyes with his own.
"Do you really want to know that,
Dawn? It's not pleasant."
She nodded.
" I need to."
He sighed, and let go her hand.
"They needed a body. Somehow
or other they got hold of one. I saw it, when you sang- Your mother. They
needed flesh of her flesh, to create a daughter."
Oh God. Oh God. She was almost
afraid to ask-
"Did I kill my mom?"
He was alarmed, and eager to assuage
her fears.
"No! No, sweetie, that's not what I
meant. My Goodness, no!"
His voice dropped, as he tried to explain it in a way that
would not further damage her, but would convince her of the horror that he'd
scene in her "birth".
"Dawn, your mother- She must have had another child at
some point, Not your older sister, but another one. A baby. A- a stillbirth or
a miscarriage."
He paused to let his words sink in.
"Your monks violated it, desecrated it."
He tensed, his fists clenched.
"Then they compounded their
wickedness by trapping you inside of it. They put a divinity into a mortal
shell, and made it human."
She didn't understand.
"A divinity?"
He smiled at her again, and took her
hand once more.
"Yes, honey. You're a little
goddess."