HOMECOMING


Frasier's Apartment.

[FRASIER is sitting on the couch, reading a book. EDDIE is on the
other end, sleeping on his back. FRASIER glances over at him]

FRASIER: I do hope I'm not keeping you up.

[MARTIN enters from the upper hallway, looking concerned]

MARTIN: Jeez, Frash, Niles and Daphne have been gone for 4 days now.
You don't suppose something's happened to them, do you?

FRASIER: Oh, now, Dad, they left us that note, said they'd be away
for a while. They left the Winnebago in the garage and took
Daphne's car. We don't have to worry about Niles driving in
circumstances beyond his control. I'm sure they're just getting to
. . .[Sly smile] know each other better.

MARTIN: I guess. [He sits in his chair] Amazing how all this worked out,
isn't it? I used to feel sorry for poor Niles, watching him around her.

FRASIER: Yes, well, I'm sure by now he has now had ample opportunity
to smell her hair.

[MARTIN laughs]

[Doorbell. EDDIE jumps up and barks]

FRASIER: [Getting up] You know, the hardest part of all this has
been getting used to answering my own door!
[Opening it. NILES and DAPHNE timidly step in, smiling but looking
a bit sheepish] Well. I see the lovebirds have . . . touched down.

NILES: Hey, Frasier.

DAPHNE: Hello, Dr. Crane.

FRASIER: Now, Daphne. You have stolen my brother's heart, and my
father's Winnebago. I think that should put us on a first name basis,
don't you? [He holds out his arms to her, she goes to him and they hug.
NILES is beaming]

DAPHNE: Oh, thank you Dr. . . .Frasier. [FRASIER hugs NILES as well.
MARTIN has gotten up and walked over to them, and hugs them both]

MARTIN: I'm glad to have you guys back. And, while it could have
been done in a less crazy way, it's great to see you together.

FRASIER: Now, you two, come in, sit down. [Ushers them to the couch,
where they sit closely together. FRASIER sits on the arm of the chair.
MARTIN heads toward the kitchen.]

FRASIER: So, where have you been staying?

NILES: My lakefront cottage. We needed the time alone, and it was
the perfect spot. Frasier, I do have to apologize for leaving you
to deal with the, uh, . . . aftermath back there.

DAPHNE: Oh, me too. Only, once I realized that I wanted to be
with Niles, I just had to get out of there. I couldn't face anyone.
My emotions were, well, all over the map.

FRASIER: Well, it was a fairly massive zoo, but we waded through it.
Oh, Daphne, we rescued your things, they're over there [Gesturing
toward the dining area] and Niles, your suitcases are in the trunk
of your car. It's parked in the lot, Dad drove it back.

NILES: Thanks, Frasier.

DAPHNE: [Getting up, walking toward the suitcases] Dr. . . .this is
hard to get used to. Frasier, I would hope that my job is still here?
It will take some time for all this to get resolved, and . . .

FRASIER: Oh, well, of course, Daphne. It wasn't our idea that you
leave us in the first place.

DAPHNE: Thank you. I'll just put my things in my room, then.
[Picking up her handbag] I'm especially glad to get this back.
Can't lose track of my green card now. I'll not be long.
[Gathers up her suitcases and exits toward her room]

FRASIER: [Getting up to pour 3 glasses of sherry. With a bemused smile]
So, Niles. How are . . .things?

NILES:[Stands, goes to take two glasses from him] Frasier, I have to
thank you for your revelation after the rehearsal dinner. It's the
best present you've ever given me.

FRASIER: [Touched] So, it's good with Daphne?

NILES: Good doesn't begin to describe it! She is heaven! She
doesn't even make me nervous anymore.

FRASIER: I've never seen you look so . . .well, at ease. With yourself,
with everything.

NILES: I am a happy man. [Mood change] But, of course, the problems
are just beginning. OK. I hate to ask, but I have to. Did you see Mel
after we left?

FRASIER: So much for the "at ease" thing . . .

DAPHNE: [Returning and sitting on the couch next to NILES, who
hands her a glass of sherry] Which one of you was brave enough to
tell her?

MARTIN:[Entering from the kitchen with a beer] I talked with her.

NILES: Dad, you?

MARTIN [Sitting in his chair] It seemed to call for a cool head.

NILES: [Cringing] And?

MARTIN: Well, I explained about your long time thing for Daphne,
and how it seemed that she changed her mind about the wedding, and you.
At first she was pretty quiet, stunned I guess. But the yelling and
smashing things began pretty quickly after that. I didn't get all
that she was saying, I was trying to avoid becoming a moving target.
But I caught something like "if he thinks he's seen the last of me"
and something else like "cold day in hell". . .

NILES: [Head down in his hands, moans] Oh, God . . .

DAPHNE:[Puts her arm over his shoulder and grasps his arm.
He grasps her back] Now, Niles, you'd have to expect she'd be upset,
just married and all . . .

NILES: Oh, why couldn't I just have agreed to live with her?
I guess I'd better go talk to her tomorrow. Try to reason . . .

FRASIER: Wait, Niles, you know, . . . I feel a degree of responsibility
here, with the advice I gave you that day. Maybe there's something
I can do.

DAPHNE: Hire a hit man? [The three men looked shocked]

NILES: Daphne!

DAPHNE: Sorry, bad joke. [Sips her sherry sheepishly]

NILES: No, Frasier, I'm an adult and this is my mess. I'll deal with it.

DAPHNE: Not to further complicate this conversation, but does
anyone know anything about Donny?

MARTIN: Roz went to talk with him. We didn't see him, or her either,
as a matter of fact, after that. [Something dawns on them]

DAPHNE: [Arches her eyebrows] You don't suppose . . .

FRASIER: At this point in this little soap opera, anything is possible.
Look, it's late. Why don't we just discuss all this over dinner.
My treat. [They all get up and head for the door]

MARTIN: Good idea. Hey, let's go to the Timbermill! [The boys groan.
Niles looks at Daphne]

NILES: My dear, it appears that we are home. [Gesturing toward her purse]
Do you happen to have any Tums in there?

DAPHNE:[Patting the bag] New bottle.

FRASIER:[Opening the door, gestures to NILES and DAPHNE]
Lovebirds first.

[They all exit]

END SCENE