BATTLE STATIONS



Mel's office waiting room. Two receptionists are behind the window.

[NILES enters, looks around cautiously. RECEPTIONIST 1 sees him,
opens the sliding window]

REC. 1: Hey, hi there, Dr. Crane. We've been taking bets on
when you'd show up.

NILES:[Nervously] Uh, yes, well, good morning. Is Dr. Karnovsky in?
Perhaps she's with a patient, I'll just . . .

REC 1: Dr. Crane is in her office. [NILES winces at the name]
No patients yet. Shall I tell her you're here?

NILES: Yes, I guess so. Uh, please. [She closes the window.
NILES paces the waiting room, looking around. Now very nervous.
MEL enters from the office area]

MEL: [Calmly] Niles. I'm glad to see you're all right.

NILES: Hello, Mel.

MEL: Would you like to talk in my office?

NILES: Probably a good idea. [He follows her through the door,
into her office. There is the usual doctor's office décor, degrees
on the walls, etc. She closes the door and turns around.
She is furious]

MEL: Would you mind telling me just what the HELL IS GOING ON?

NILES: [Putting a hand on her arm] Mel, there is a good explanation
for all of this . . .

MEL: Don't you touch me! [Walking around the room, hand to her
forehead] EXPLANATION!? For leaving me three days after WE GOT MARRIED?
With your brother's HOUSEMAID? And at her WEDDING? Your father told
me that she came to you and asked her to take her away, but, God,
Niles, you didn't have to DO IT! Do you know how HUMILIATED I was?
In front of all those people!

NILES: Mel, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn't
do anything else. Daphne was at the camper door, and she was
choosing me, and . . .

MEL: CHOOSING you? Niles, if you remember, you married ME!
And willingly, I might add. You said you loved me. You do love me.
[She starts to cry]

NILES: Oh, Mel, maybe I did. At least I thought I did. I realize
you didn't know all that had gone on before we met, but the truth
is . . . there's no one I've loved for years but Daphne. When I found
out that she felt the same, there was simply no other choice. We just unfortunately picked the most awkward time to get together.

MEL:[Composing herself. Determined] Niles, you are my husband. I will
not let you go that easily. You are way too good for her. She is a
working class servant, not your equal. You are part of Seattle society,
as am I. No one will accept you if you remain with her.
You must see that. You need me!

NILES:[Now angry] Mel, if I had known that you were this kind of . .
of . . . of bigot, I would never have gotten involved with you.
Thank God I was rescued from what I now see would be a repeat
of my first marriage. My God, everyone told me you were another Maris!
I don't know how I could have missed it.

MEL: GET OUT! You'll hear from my attorneys!

NILES: And you will hear from mine! [He exits and slams the door.
Crashing glass is heard on the other side. He walks confidently past the
reception window]

REC 1:[Smiling knowingly at him] Everything OK?

NILES: Yes, thank you. Oh, um, you might want to fetch a dustpan
and broom.

REC 1: Got it. [NILES exits]

END SCENE