Final Letter

by Jaya Korin

Set around the time of world war I or II, it's a little rather strange fic. Yaoi warning. Seiji and Touma. ^_^

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Disclaimer: I don't own the character (well other then the narrator she's mine.) This story idea is mine and mine alone I didn't take it from anyone so don't take it from me. Yada yada yada....

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The Final Letter
By: Jaya
Started: 3-25-01

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*Note: This is based off an idea I have for an Original fic but decided to try it out as a fan fic first. Also I sorta imagine it being set around world war I or II so that might give you a better idea as to the settings, dress and reasons behind in the story. ^_~ Hope you enjoy. JayaKorin@ratedg.com And a big thanks to Yvette who beta'd it for me. ^___^

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It was a cold day at the convent that morning in late March. The last few days had been wonderfully nice, and warm. But unfortunately it had not stayed so nice, over the past day or so, the weather taking a turn towards the bad side. Over cast, wet and cold. The kind of weather that lowered your spirits, and made you want to stay in bed all day. Yes that was what the weather was like that day in the hospital.

The day before, a new group of wounded from the front had arrived in the hospital. Being located to one of the newer wards that had been set up in the east wing. But that had been the most of the excitement for the last few days and sprits were low.

Now it just so happened that on that day, I was sitting near one of the closed windows, next to one of the beds. On the bed next to me lay a young man, his name was Sage. Sage Date. At least that's what was written on the clip board at the foot of the bed. He'd arrived in the ward about two weeks ago, counting today. However, though he would recover, he would not regain the use of his eyes, and would probably be confined to a wheel chair most of his life.

/I feel sorry for him./ He seems like a nice young man, we have talked often now and then. About many things, except the war. We talk about our homes, our loved ones and so forth. But during our time together, unlike the others he has never asked me to write a letter for him, and as far as I know none of the other nurses have either. Until today that is.

It happened this morning, when I was just arriving in the ward. I don't know how he knew it was me who'd come it, but he knew, somehow. Motioning me over, I had to lean close to hear what he was saying.

He said in his soft voice. "Ari, will you. Will you write a letter for me?" Just like that. I thought I caught the hint of something else in his voice, but that was all. A simple little question and yet there was something about it that caught at my heart. Something about the way he said it.

"Alright, Sage." I replied nodding my head, though I knew he could not see me. I have his hand a squeeze, as I turned. "Let me go get some paper, ok?"

"Ok." He replied turning his head as if he was watching me go. Even though he could not see through the bandages that covered most of his face, leaving just enough room, so that he could speak.

--------------*--------------

When I returned a few minutes later, he was still sitting there, on the bed. Though someone has propt up the pillows behind him a bit, so that he could sit up more. His hands folded on top of the blankets, a sort of sad thoughtful poster to his position. Though it was hard to tell being unable to see his face. I wasn't sure, Sage had always been someone what of a mystery to me. Kind, and thoughtfull and yet quiet and moody at times, harder to read the most of the other eager young men in the ward.

"I'm back Sage." I said pulling up a chair and sitting down. Glancing down at the small pad of paper in my lap I turned back to him. "I got some paper."

"I know." He replied in that voice of his, and I could almost believe that he had truly known. Perhaps he had, I do not know there was something about Sage, that made you believe he did or could know things he logically should know have been able to know.

Carefully I picked up my pen, setting the tip on the paper. For a moment she thought that he wasn't going to speak that perhaps he had forgotten about the letter, about her. But she dismissed that idea rather fast as the young man lying the bed took a slow deep breath. She looked up at him studying his half hidden face for a moment, trying to figure out what was going through his exceptionally sharp mind.

"Dear Rowen." He said finally his voice low so that only she could hear. There was something about the sound of it, something sad that made her want to cry. /But if I cry over everything that makes me want to cry then I wouldn't be here./ She told herself sternly, focusing only on him.

"Dear Rowen," Sage repeated softly, before going on with the rest of the letter, and she wrote what he said carefully and neatly. Somehow she knew that it was important, not just to him.

Hello Friend. This is Sage, I guess you probably never thought that you would hear from me again. Not after the way we last parted...

/So that's why he never wrote letters... Never talked about his home or his family. I wonder what happened to his parents.../ She thought, as he paused as if to collected his thoughts again. /Poor soul/

Forgive me Rowen. I don't know why it was so hard to say before, why I couldn't just come out and say it. I've thought about that day, that moment so many times since then. It's still hard to say somehow, and I still don't know. I wish I could have said it then, or at least could have said it to your face. I'm sorry, Oh lord you have no idea how sorry I am. So please forgive me my foolishness, for I fear I won't be able to tell you in person, now.

He stopped again suddenly seized by a fit of coughs. Setting the letter down she picked up the small cup of water that sat on the table next to her.

"Sage would you like a drink of water?" She asked quietly, waiting for the last round to finish, before leaning in too close.
"Yes... yes please." He whispered his voice rough and dry.

"Here you go." Carefully she took his hand and wrapped it around the cup, helping him sit up slightly. Though she was not sure he entirely needed, she could never tell. Some patients were easily to read you knew when they needed help and it was easy. Others were stubborn and wanted to do things them selves no matter whether they should or not. She was a good nurse yes, she knew what to do and when to do it, but it was those little in between times that always caught her off guard and she hated it.

He turned towards her, and she took the cup back. Setting it on the table she sat down, picking up the note pad and pen again. "Ready?"

The young man in the bed hesitated for a moment and then nodded his head ever so slightly. There was a small grimace on his face, but it vanished just as it had appeared. "Yes, I'm ready."

Rowen I know your probably thinking this is some kind of joke or something, because I know you would recognize my writing. You know this isn't my writing. Well I must tell you that I am not writing this letter, someone is writing it for me. Someone I... I know I can trust. You see, after I left I joined the army, and well I've seen more then I ever wanted to see. This isn't war Touma, not like you and I know it... Neh this is saluter, and those of us here, we're just victims, in one way or another... Her name is Rose, and I trust her. I wanted to tell you in person, wanted to write the letter myself, but I can't even do that.

She was touched by his words more then he would ever know. The worlds 'I trust her.' rang in her ears and she felt as if she'd been given some sort of special gift. It was a strange feeling, that settled in about her, as if she was part of some one time even. That would never come again, and if you looked away it would be gone before you could look back.

Well, Rowen, so much has happened since we last talked, I'm not sure where to start. As you probably guessed, after I left I decided to join the war, for lack of anything better to do. I thought of keeping up the school, but I couldn't concentrate, from what I hear Ryo is doing better with it anyway... And that's basically how I ended up here. I never. Never stopped thinking of you though, the way you used to smile at me. Your kiss. I can still feel your lips on mine Rowen, even now after what? Five years... I still love you. Do you still love me? Or did you finally decide that Ryo was better after all?

He looked away, his mouth set in a tight lipped look as he rested his chin on his chest for a moment, looking infinitely tired. Quietly she read over the words on the page again, understanding them and yet not at the same time. They sat there so long that she began to think that perhaps he had fallen a sleep.

"Sage?" Rose asked quietly. "Would you like to continue this later?"

He jumped slightly as if started out some reviver. "No.. Have to finish it as soon as possible." There was a hint of weariness in his voice and she contemplated pushing the point. But there was something about the blond in the bed next to her that confused Rose to no end. For some reason she felt compelled to go along with him, so she ignored the nagging feeling in the back of her mind.

"Alright then." She said quietly. "Let's continue."

How have you been, my friend? Stupid question, I suppose, I wish I could know, but I'm afraid that I... That I probably won't be here to hear it from you. That's why I'm writing this letter. Rowen.. Dear Rowen, I'm dying...

Before either of them could say anything the bell began to toll out side. Rose jumped, glancing towards the door at the far end of the ward, his last words flying from her mind. Quickly standing up she set the pad of paper on the stand next to him, the pen on top of it.

"I have to go Sage, we have new patents coming in, their going to need my help." Rose hesitated. "I will be back just as soon as I can to finish."

"Promise?" He whispered. "Please, Promise?" He grasped her hand holding on tighter then she would have thought possible. But then he always had been able to surprise her.

"I promise Sage." She answered giving his hand a slight squeeze. "I promise. You try and get some rest, for when I get back, ok?"

"Ok." came the soft response. But she never heard it as she was already hurrying back down the ward towards the doors. /Lord be with that boy./ Rose thought, whipping her hand across her skirt. /He's a strange one that Sage is. Watch over him./ That done she pushed through the doors hurrying to wash her hands before the real work began and she could already see the first set of patients being brought up the stairs on stretchers.

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It wasn't until dusk that Rose managed to make her way back to Sage's bed. When she arrived she found that the young blond man, was already sleep. Or at least so she assumed from his shallow almost regular breathing.

Shaking her head, she carefully made sure that his blankets were securely tucked in around him. That done, Rose pulled the curtain's around him shut so that he could sleep in half primacy.

With a yawn she headed out of the ward and down the stairs. /Maybe some supper, and then bed.../ She scrubbed her face with her hands, trying to hide another yawn. Stepping into the 'ladies room', she splashed some cold water on her face, and straightened her hair in the mirror.

/You look like hell./ Rose told herself with a grimace. /Ah who cares what you look like. Dinner, bed. Dinner, bed. Sleep. Remember?/

"Long day Rose?"
She turned to find her friend, Betty standing in the door way. "Yeah you could say that... What about you?"

"No longer then usual. So what's up I saw you taking a letter for that Date kid earlier. I thought he didn't write letters." She walked over, to peer into the mirror. Pretending to fix her already perfect hair.

Rose sighed. "Well he is now."
"Your worried about him."
"Truth. Yeah I am."
"Why?"

"Well. He's not doin so good Betty, and he keeps talking about how he's not going to make it. I think he know's he's going to die even if Dr. Mercy hasn't given up hope yet. That's why he's writing the letter."

"Well you know what they say. You shouldn't become personally involved with your patents. Come on Rose, I think your starting to talk this personal."

"Awe Betty. Don't tell me you've never felt sorry from one of the lad's in there. The kid has no family, and no one else to be around for him. If he's going to die I sure won't let him do it alone."

"You can't save everyone Rose."
"I know that." Rose sighed.

"Sometimes I wonder if you do." Betty turned to her friend giving her a piercing stare. As if searching for something, something she obviously didn't find..

"What is..."
"Come on, we're going to be late for dinner." With that Betty grabbed Rose's arm and pulled her through the door.

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Behind the bandages, behind the scared face, inside the world of dreams. He dreamt. A dream of a far off place, a place that he had not been in many years. In the arms of a man he had not seen in just as long a time.

"Rowen." He whispered the name.

Slowly his body stretched, and one strong and yet refined hand fell across his stomach. What was left of his golden hair lay about his head on the pillow. But in his dream it was a totally different story.

---FlashBack---

"Hello Sage." Rowen said smiling at him in a strangely Rowen, and yet un-Rowen like way. "Come on I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Sage asked curiously, as he took Rowen's hand fallowing the tall, blue haired man through the empty house and up the stairs. "What do you have for me Rowen?"

"No, no." He shook his head infuriatingly. "I can't tell you. No that would ruin the surprise." With a mysterious twinkle in his eye, he turned and climbed the last of the stairs to the landing at the top.

"Alright fine, be that way." Sage muttered, rather sulkily, but climbed the rest of the stairs in a rather hurry anyway. He was curious to see what Rowen was all excited about.

"Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on." An amused look passed across Sage's light features as he looked up to find Rowen hopping excitedly from one foot to the other, the biggest grin you have ever seen on his face.

Shaking his head, Sage picked up his pace a just a little covering the space between them in a couple of seconds. His blue haired friend took his hands and pulled him into the room before he even hada chance to see what was inside.

Pushing the door closed, Rowen pushed Sage up against the door, an intensity in his eyes that Sage hadn't seen before. "Well Sage?" Rowen whispered his lips brushing against Sage's. "What do you think?"

"About what?" Sage asked, as Rowen pressed his body against his.

"About my surprise." Replied Rowen, with an evil little grin. Then just as suddenly he pushed away from Sage. "I... I love you Sage." He said a couple seconds later, turning back to meet Sage's clear violet gaze with his own intense blue one. "That's my surprise..."

---EndFlashBack---

Carefully sitting up slightly, Sage reached his hand over to where he knew the small night stand sat. His breath come in short gasps, and his hand shook slightly. Carefully he pushed the curtain out of the way, fumbling for the glass of water he knew sat there.

Finally he hand closed about the cool surface of the tin cup. Slowly he sat up a little bit more, biting his lip as pain spasmed through his body. Sage managed to get a sip of the water, almost spilling it twice before he gave up.

He only half managed to get the cup back on the night stand. Unfortunately spilling the rest of it across the top and onto the floor. But he never noticed as he fell back down onto the bed.

After that sleep was slow in coming, and soon the memories began to plague his mind again.

---FlashBack---

The crystal clear moon over head, was soft as it streamed down through the half darkness of midnight. They lay in the soft grass by the water shore, the song of the crickets and the gentle sound of the water lapping against the bead the only sound.

Look over at Sage, Rowen burst out into another fit, of laughter. His sparkling blue eyes slowly fallowed the curve f Sage's body. He liked the way that his wet cloths stuck to his body, showing it of quite nicely. Blushing Rowen quickly looked away, laying back in the grass he turned his eyes towards the million glittering stars in the heavens.

"Next time we should go skinny dipping instead of just jumping in with our cloths on." Sage said with an evil little grin. "What do you think, my love?"

"I think it sounds like fun, but I bet you wouldn't dare do it." Rowen, said teasingly.
"Oh really?" Sage stood up decisively, grinning. "Then watch me."

"I would love to." Rowen said leaning back with his hands behind his head, watching Sage intently. "Well are you going to take them off, or are you just going to stand there all night?" He asked finally.

Sage stuck his tongue out at Rowen, but with a quick glance around, that made Rowen laugh. He began taking his cloths, off. Shirt fallowed by, shoes and socks. For a moment he stood there, and then turned around slipping his pants off as he did so. Rowen caught his breath in the cool quiet of the night, as the boxers landed on top of the stack.

That done, Sage turned back to Rowen, who just blushed and quickly looked away. "Aren't you going to join me?" Sage inquired as he headed towards the water, a bit faster then he meant to. Though despite his brave face he felt just a little to exposes standing in the glade with nothing on, even in the middle of the night. Not that he minded Rowen looking so much, he actually found it rather exciting, then again just being with Rowen was arousing.

"I think I will." Rowen replied watching Sage out of the corner of his eye as he stood up.

Sage slipped into the water, going in a few feet before he sat down on a flat slightly slippery rock under the water. His violet eyes watched Rowen as he took his cloths of, Sage sucked his breath in slightly, most defiantly feeling very much aroused as the gentle tug of the water washed around him. He couldn't have looked away from the beautiful blue haired angel on the bank if he had wanted to. (And he didn't.)

---EndFlashBack---

Some where else in the room someone, began to moan loudly. The sound seeped into his brain pulling him back into the painful world of reality that surrounded him now. Every waking second of it, nothing but a painful piece of hell.

His keen ears picked up the soft sounds of one of the nurses trying to talk to whoever it was who was moaning. But he could tell it was no use, even before quick foot steps left the room returning with more. A little while later whoever it had been was gone.

Sage sighed, turning his head to the side, as if trying to find some way to rest it that did not hurt.

---FlashBack---

"I love you Rowen." Sage whispered as he slowly brushed his lovers wet blue hair out of his face. "I will always love you."

"I love you to Sage." Rowen whispered back, with a playful smile. He leaned closer, placing a kiss on the tip of Sage's nose. "I wonder what people would think if they knew we were out here skinny dipping." Rowen laughed and darted under the water away from Sage.

Sage laughed, though he did glanced around rather self consciously. A few feet away Rowen surfaced spitting water at him.

"I'm sure they probably wouldn't appreciated it the way we do." Sage replied with an evil grin. He smirked as he remembered the first time they'd come down here.

"You know I sure am glad you finally taught me to swim." Rowen said with a smile. "Remember what fun we had that night?"
"How could I forget." Retorted Sage with a chuckle. "You are evil my friend you know that."

"You wouldn't let me forget that fact even if I wanted to." Rowen swam back over, slipping his arms around Sage's naked body. "Come on Sage you know you'd be board if I wasn't evil."

But he didn't give the blond a chance to respond as he leaned closer, sealing Sage's lips with his own. His gaze intense, Rowen slowly ran his hands over Sage's body, their eyes locked for long moments.

"Shall we do it again?" Rowen whispered nibbling on Sage's ear. "I know of a nice warm spot under the dock, with soft sand. Away from eyes, not that anyone's going to be down here but us."

"Perhaps." Sage grinned, tweaking Rowen's nose. He brushed his long fingers along the inside or Rowen's thigh. "Just promise me one thing first."

"What?"
"Don't tell."

Rowen snickered. "Oh I'm sure Ryo would love to know that the unbearable Mr. Date made love under the dock after going skinny dipping in the middle of the night." He ducked under the water as Sage glared at him. Coming back up a little ways away, Rowen winked. "Don't worry Sage-luv your secrets safe with me."

---EndFlashBack---

Somewhere out side the room, the sound of feet shuffling across the floor could be heard. But soon they died away and it was silent again. Only the flickering half light of a knelt could been seen even through the enclosed curtains.

Though of course the man in the bed could not see it, for he would not see anything again. Other then the memories that kept replaying in his mind. Like some broke record.

---FlashBack---

"Rowen?" Sage asked as he slipped into the dark room. /Strange he said he'd be home tonight./ He thought setting his case on the floor next to the door.

Then something on the other side of their room moved. Sage saw a pair of pale legs extended over the side of the bed, before he saw the rest of him. For a moment Sage didn't say anything as Rowen came out of the shadows towards him a pale naked ghost.

"Welcome home Sage." Rowen said in a soft seductive voice. "I've been waiting for you."

"I..." Sage didn't know what to say as his eyes slowly ran up and down Rowen's body. Even though he had seen it before, the beauty of his lovers physic never stopped amazing him.

"Come on Sage," Rowen hooked his fingers around the collar of Sage's jacket pulling him to his feet. "Let me help you out of those things." He slowly placed a kiss on Sage's soft lips.

His nimble fingers pushing the jacket off of the blond's shoulders, before turning to the buttons of the white shirt beneath it. Slowly Rowen kissed Sage's collar bone, as he untucked the shirt, letting it fall with the jacket to the floor. Stepping back for a moment, Rowen admired Sage's well defined upper body.

Hooking his fingers through the waist band of Sage's pants, Rowen pulled him towards the bed. With an evil grin, Rowen un did the zipper slipping his hand down Sage's pants. He smiled as Sage leaned forward to peruse the kiss this time. Pulling his hand from Sage's pants he pulled the down placing kissing down Sage's chest, and along the inside of his thigh.

Then standing up, Rowen threw the pants over his shoulder, not bothering with the boxers. The blue haired man pushed his lover back onto the bed. "Now lets play." He whispered.

---EndFlashback---

A spasm of coughs racked through his body over and over again. They refused to leave and he felt as if he couldn't breath. Till finally they subsided for a few moments. His throat felt soar, and his stomach churned.

Silently he lay there in the bed. Slowly turning over he tired to find the water on the table. But his fingers only found wetness on the table. And the over turned cup. Turning back onto his back, he lay there in the darkness.

---FlashBack---

From the window Sage, watched as Rowen climbed out of the black car that stood in the road below their place. He sighed almost turning away, when he saw the other man get out of the car. For a moment he didn't think anything of it.

At least not until he saw the other man envelope Rowen in a hut. /My Rowen!/ He might not have been thought anything of it even then. Except that, that was not where it had stopped.

Before parting the other leaned forward to give Rowen a lingering kiss. A kiss which Rowen seemed to return. A kiss that was not just the type of kiss shared by friends or family. It was more like the kiss shared between lovers.

And of course he might have let it go there. If he hadn't been so stupid.

---EndFlashBack---

He moaned softly, as pain raced through his body, making him feel as if he was on fire. It lasted not for very long, except when the pain and the heat was gone he was freezing cold. /I hava fever./ His befuddled mind thought to himself.

Sage knew he should called the nurse who was no doubt in the room some where. In the room beyond the curtains beyond the blackness that had become his world. But even as he opened his mouth to do so, he knew it wouldn't matter. /I'm going to die anyway./ He knew it was true.

---FlashBack---

He knew Rowen was still mad at him even as he pushed the door to the house open. He could hear the loud acid rock music playing from some where in the back of the house. Something his friend and lover had probably dug out of one of his old boxes in the attic, while he'd been gone.

Sage sighed, as he set his bag down on the coach. Sitting down for a moment, he pulled off his shoes, and slipped on a pair of much more comfortable house slippers. Standing up he decided to go see if he could talk to the other man. Though he didn't really expect it to work, after all he hadn't worked all week...

"Rowen?" He asked knocking just loud enough to be heard.
"Go away Sage." Came the curt reply. "I told you I'm not talking to you."
"You don't have to then. Just listen."
"I'm not letting you in!"

Sage tried the door handle but it didn't budge. He glared at the door for a moment considering kicking it in and making Rowen listen. But he didn't with a sigh he turned and headed back down the hall way into the kitchen. /Maybe a cup of tea./ He thought and set about making one for himself.

---EndFlashBack---

With a soft moan he rolled over, in the bed. Or at least partially so. From out side the closure of the curtains there were people moving now. And through the windows the soft gray glow of dawn was seen.

Soon things would be up and going, though of course it had been so all night. There was always someone in the room, always someone there to watch. For a moment he just lay there, facing up towards the ceiling. Even though his violet eyes could see nothing.

---FlashBack---

Sage paused in the door way of the room. On the bed, their bed in the far corner a single figure lay. He bit his lower lip slightly as he walked across the room. Looking down at the lethal figure of the blue haired man sleeping in the bed.

Shaking his head Sage, set the note down on the small night table next to the bed. Leaning forward he brushed a butterfly kiss across his sleeping lovers for head.

"Good bye Rowen." He whispered. "I'm sorry we couldn't work this out."

With that said and done, he turned and left the room. Picking up his case, the blond left the house that they had shared for almost two years now. But would share no more, leaving the blue haired man sleeping in the bed oblivious to the world.

---EndFlashBack---

Carefully she pulled back the curtains that surrounded the bed. Looking down at the blond haired man that lay in the bed she could tell from his even but shallow breathing that he was asleep. Though from the look of the twisted sheets and the spilled water he had not have a peaceful night.

Shaking her head with a slight tisk, tisk. Rose carefully cleaned up the spilled water and went off to fill up the cup. Giving him a quick check over, Rose left to check on the others, knowing that Sage could use all the sleep he could get. She would come back later to see if he was awake. /To finish the letter./

--------------*--------------

Well Rowen, I dreamed about you last night. About your surprise. About that night in the lake. About the how you wouldn't talk to me. About leaving you the note. Did you ever get that note? You know I kissed you good bye that night, and you never woke up. I guess I didn't really expect you to. You were always such a heavy sleeper unlike me.

Oh Rowen there's so much I wanted to tell you, so much I still want to tell you. But I know I can't tell you all of it, I can't even remember all of it anymore. It's strange Rowen, things seem to be getting more and more fuzzy lately. I just wish... I don't know what I wish anymore.

Rose looked up as he stopped talking. He had turned his face away from her, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Yet he seemed sad, yet she couldn't be sure, there was no way to be sure. But she did know that his mind was wondering. It was the fever that had come over him that night, slowly but surely it was stealing his mind away.

"Would you like another drink Sage?" She asked.
"No.. No thank you." He whispered finally. "I have to finish... have to finis it before I die..."
"But your not going..."

She was surprised as suddenly his hand grabbed her's with amazing speed and strength. "I am dying." He said in a calm strong voice. "I know I am dying, and there is nothing that you or any of the other doctors can do. It's too late. But I will finish this letter first!"

"Alright." Rose said softly. "Then let's finish it."

"Promise.. Promise me you'll send it to him." he said all at once, sounding like a little child. "Promise me you'll send it even... even if I don't, finish it."

"You will." She cut in before he could say anything more. "You will finish it and I will send it. I promise you Sage."
"Thank-you." He said with a sigh. "Thank you Rose..."
"Your welcome." She whispered.

Do you remember that night you waited up for me Rowen? Do you remember that night? I remember that night, as if it only happened last night. I remember everything about it. I remember how beautiful you were... How beautiful you always were. I love you Rowen. I'm sorry I never told you that enough. I should have told you more. I should have done lots of things, but no one's perfect.

Rowen there is something important I must tell you, before. Before I die. I want to tell you this because I know I'll never get another chance to tell you. You see it's something I remembered, something that I did a long time ago. Before I left, I didn't remember it till just last night, and I have to tell you.

But before he could say anything else the bell began to toll. Rose turned around as the head stepped into the ward.
"We're getting another batch of new patients. Everyone one finish up what your doing here, and get ready to work."

"Sage I have to go." Rose whispered, wishing she could stay. For some reason it seemed vitally important that she stay. But she knew she couldn't.

"Rose." He said putting a hand on her arm.
"What is it Sage?"
"Please.. Please hurry." He said softly.
"I will." She replied caught up in the urgency in his plea. "I will."

--------------*--------------

But there was nothing that Rose could do that day as the line of patients that needed to be seen to, grew longer and longer. It was late in the afternoon by the time that everything was said and done. Slowly she climbed the stairs to the chambers that had been set aside for them.

She was soon fast asleep in her bed, too tired to remember anything that had happened earlier that morning. Much less an unfinished letter that she had promised to finish writing.

--------------*--------------

"Rose?" She mumbled something and rolled back over pushing whatever or whoever it was that was shaking her away.
"Rose!" The voice was more urgent this time and the shaking more persistent. "Come on Rose, wake up."
"Alright. Alright." Rose muttered slowly sitting up and blinking at the shadowy figure that stood next to her bed. "What is it?"

"One of the boys in the ward is asking for you." The night nurse Liz, met her gaze. "I wasn't going to bother, but... He insisted, I think some things wrong, but he wouldn't talk to me... Just kept asking me to get you."

"Sage?" Rose run a hand through her hair now wide awake. "Oh my lord. I forgot, the letter." She quickly stood up. "Go, on Liz. Tell him I'm coming."

Liz paused for a moment a puzzled look on her face then she nodded. "Alright, I'll tell him your on your way."
"Thank you."
"Sure."

--------------*-------------

Quickly Rose slipped down the steps and back into the ward. She could hear Liz talking to someone a ways down the row of beds. But her eyes didn't stray there for more then a mer second or two.

Instead they went to where the blond boy lay on the bed. On the night table beside him, a single candle burned, almost gone. She knew that dawn was coming, for the candles were lite a new every night, and burned out by just before dawn. Pulling up a small chair she sat down next to the bed, leaning forward to take Sage's hand.

"Sage?" She asked softly. "Sage? I'm here."

Slowly he turned towards her, and she felt somehow that something had changed. "Rose?" He whispered in a hoarse rasping voice.

"I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't come back earlier. I... I forgot."
"It's ok." He said turning towards the ceiling. "I don't want to finish it anymore... I can't."
"But I thought you wanted to finish the letter." Rose, said slightly puzzled.
"It doesn't matter." Came the answer.
Her brown furrowed slightly. "You said it did?"
"I decided it didn't." He replied softly.
"Then why did you ask Liz to get me?"

He hesitated for a moment and she thought he might not speak. "Because I wanted to tell you not to send the letter. Don't send the letter Rose, burn it. It's too late, now."

"But.."
"Do it." He said in a low intense voice.
Rose sighed. "I think Rowen would want to hear from you." She said softly. "I think he would want this letter."
"I said it doesn't matter." There was a finality in his voice.

She realized he wasn't listening to her anymore. That he wasn't going to listen to her. /People and their pride./ She thought with a sigh. "Alright, I won't."

"Thank you."

Carefully Rose stood up, taking the note pad and pen out of the draw. Carefully ripping the two sheets she hesitated for a second. Turning her gaze back to Sage for a moment, she blew out the candle and left the ward.

--------------*-------------

The next morning as she slowly descended the stairs for the second time that day already. Pausing in the door way, Rose considered going in to see if Sage had changed his mind about the letter. She shook her head upon seeing that the curtains about his bed were still pulled shut.

/He must still be sleeping./ She though to herself. Running a hand over her carefully pulled back hair she turned and headed farther down the stairs to get something to eat first. /I'll come back up in a few minutes and see if I can talk some sense into that kid./

--------------*-------------

When she came back down, the curtains were still pulled closed. With a slight frown Rose walked over, hesitating for a moment before she opened the curtains. There on the bed, lay the same blond haired boy that had been there for the past two weeks.

Only this time it was not the same. This time there was no life in him, his chest did not rise and fall. He didn't turn his hidden face towards her as she opened the curtains. He simply lay there, his hands folded across his chest, and almost peaceful expression on his face.

Slowly Rose stepped back, not sure how to react at first. But luckily for her she didn't have to for some of the other nurses saw the look on her face and came rushing over to see what was wrong.

--------------*-------------

She sat at the desk in her room, a blank look on her face the unfinished letter lay on the desk in front of her. For a moment she turned her gaze from the window to the letter. Rose sighed, angry, sad, and yet confused all at the same time. She'd promised Sage that she wouldn't send the letter. However...

/I should send it./ She thought. /Even though it's unfinished. I think that Rowen would want to know... I know I would want to know./ Slowly she reached back pull her hair over her shoulder she began to braid the thick locks. As much for something to do as for something to occupied her hands, something that didn't require her mind to think.

Finally she tossed her hair over her shoulder, reaching over to take up the pen again. Hesitating for a moment longer, Rose began to write, using the graceful script that her mother had taught her many, many years before.

Dear Sir,

You do not know me, but I feel that I know you. My name is Rose, I know you're probably wonder what I'm doing writing this, when this is not my letter, but his. I'm afraid that the reason is nothing good. You see I promised him that I would not send this to you. However I believe that in truth he really wanted you to see it and that perhaps you would want to see it.

But I must inform you that he passed away last night, before we had the chance to finish this letter. Which is as much a fault of mine as it was of his. I hope that you will forgive me, this fault. Please except my sincerest regret on the death of Sage Date.

Sincerely
Rose Regard

Slowly she sat back re reading the last few lines she had added to the letter. Finally satisfied to some extent she lay the pen back down on the desk. Standing up Rose walked over to the small shelf on the other side of the room. Taking a small envelope from out of it's box, along with a stamp she proceeded to write upon it the address which Sage had given her before they had started the actual writing of the letter.

--------------*-------------

A Few Months Later...
"Rose?"

She looked up from where she stood at the end of the ward staring out the window. Just the other day they had moved the last group of young men out of this wing. It was rumored that soon the war would be coming to an end. Soon there would be no need for them to stay here. So in accordance many of the patients were being moved to other more convent locations.

Rose had been making beds, and had almost finished. When a bird out side the window had caught her attention. She'd stopped to watch him, a noble red chested fellow with a hearty whistle, that made one feel rather happy.

"What is it?" Rose asked looking away for a moment, when she turned back the bird was gone, leaving only an echo of his song behind.

"There's a gentleman here to see you." Liz said with a smile. "He even asked for you by name. Come up all polite like, and said 'My I please see Rose Regard.'" Liz blushed and laughed behind her hand. "He even kissed my hand."

Rose arched an eye brow. "For me? But I don't know any gestalten."
"Just come on." Liz pulled her towards the door. "The beds can wait till later."

"I suppose." Rose fallowed the other woman not sure what to expect. "Did he say what his name was?" She asked, racking her brain to try and figure out who might be calling on her. /A Gentleman?! Of all people. I wonder who it could be./

"He did." Liz nodded as they started down the stairs. "But I don't remember what it was. Something foreign like, and guess what?" She leaned closer to Rose in a conspiratorial kinda way. "He's got Blue hair!"

"Your kidding me?" Rose said shaking her head. Though Liz's words sparked something in the back of her mind. Some half forgotten something, that she knew she should remember, yet couldn't quite call to mind.

"Nope." Liz said shaking her head in an almost superior sort of way. "I'm doing no such thing. You just come and see for your self."

Rose paused at the bottom of the stairs, her hand flying to her hair for a moment. She carefully checked to see that it was in place. Running her hands across the front of her dress, while Liz just giggled at her. Taking a deep breath, Rose stepped around the corner.

At first she didn't see anyone there, then she saw the tall gentleman dressed all in black, with a long cape like that of some Italian soldiers. Though it was obvious from the set of his shoulders, and the way that he stood that he was not Italian. Well that and the fact that Liz had been right about his hair. /He does have blue hair!/ She thought slightly surprised.

Then he turned to look at her and their gazes met, her deep brown with his piercing blue eyes. For a moment neither of them moved. Finally he broke the silence.

With a sweeping bow he took her hand and kissed it gently before standing back up. "Miss Regard I presume." He said in a quiet voice. He spoke with an accent but she couldn't quite place it.

"Yes I'm Rose Regard." She replied bobbing slightly in response to his bow. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage though Sir. For you know my name but I'm not sure I know who you are?"

"You once said that you felt as if you knew me, though I did not know you." He said a hint of a shadow in his brilliant blue eyes. "My name is Rowen. Rosen Hashiba. I was the friend of Sage Date, to whom you sent the letter, despite his request."

She gasped slightly in surprise, her hand flew to her mouth as it all came rushing back. "I see." Rose whispered turning to the window. "So you are Rowen."

He nodded. "I see you remember."
"I remember." She said softly. "How could I forget. Though I never thought that I would meet you."

"Nor do I. Except that my friend had business in the area, and I decided that I would meet you. Sage seemed to think very highly of you, that is a great compliment. And I wanted to thank you for sending the letter, you were right. I did want it, even if in the end his pride wouldn't let him request that you send it." He sighed turning away. "I'm afraid I did not sit so well with him in the end." There was a sad air that crept though his perceived air of smoothness.

"Do not thank me. If I had paid more attention he might still be alive. But he loved you, I could tell." Rose said simply turning to meet his gaze again. She noticed with a slight sense of relief that Liz had left. "I could tell."

Rowen sighed breaking off her gaze. "We all say that, but I think he was ready to die, so it would have made no difference if you had paid more attention." He caught her gaze for a few minutes, then went on. "I had hoped that perhaps he could have found someone to make him happy, as I did. That perhaps he had forgotten, or perhaps not forgotten, but did not dwell on what had been. Though I guess it could not be so."

"I do not think he would want you to dwell there either."

"Ah but there in lies the problem Mis. Rose." Slowly Rowen walked over to the window. "You see I did not. And though I still do not like so much what I did or the way I did it. After he left, I was angry and it was my friend who helped me through it. It was them who helped me see, that I could not dwell in the past."

"Then you were lucky."
"I was." He agreed with her. "I wish I had not been."
"He wanted you to be."
"But I did not and do not want to be. But I am."
"Then do not begrudge it, except it and know that at least some part of him would be happy for you." She said softly.

"You are right." He gave her a sad smile. "I can see why he liked you. You are a wise woman Miss. Rose. I would like to talk to you more, however I'm afraid my friend is worried to be on his way. But if you would permit me, I would like to take you to lunch sometime while I'm in town. Tomorrow perhaps?"

"I would like that." She replied simply.
"Good. How about tomorrow?"
"Twelve or Eleven?"
"Eleven if you don't mind." He said.
"Eleven is fine."

"Alright then I will send a ride for you." Rowen bowed slightly in the door way. "For now good day Miss. Rose. I will see you tomorrow."

"Good Day to you as well Mr. Hashiba."
"Just Rowen please."
"Then I'm just Rose."
"Alright then Rose."
"Same to you Rowen." She said as he disappeared out the door.

Slowly Rose walked over to the window to watch as the tall blue haired man hurried across the street. His cape billowed out about his slender body. Her eyes left him going to the dark haired man sitting in the carriage. She could not make out his features, but he seemed much larger then Rowen, though not fat. /No more muscular./ She thought with a sigh.

Rose watched the carriage as it moved away from the convent. Till it rounded the corner and was out of sight. Slowly she ran her hands over her skirt, turning she slowly made her way back up the stairs to finish making the beds.

Finished: 4-11-01

By: Jaya