Angels Need Lions
By Astarte
Rinoa took one last, long look at Squall before turning away forever. It made her heart break to see those sad and confused eyes, that agonized and bewildered expression. It made her want to run back and hold him forever but she knew that she couldn't. She was a sorceress now and because of it, she was a danger to everyone she cared about. She was a danger to Squall.
She went with the Esthar soldiers who treated her politely enough for someone who was a potential enemy. One last glance back caused her a world of pain. Squall was headed up into the Ragnarok, walking with aching loneliness. It made her feel guilty. She'd made him care and then had left him behind just like everyone else.
If only there had been something else that she could do but she couldn't think of anything. The Esthar were right. She had to be confined. What else could she do? How did one fight a sorceress that hadn't even been born yet? Squall and the others still had Adel and Ultimecia to worry about. She didn't want to add to their problems by becoming yet another enemy for them to fight.
Rinoa stepped into the transport and quietly looked out the window. The landscape sped past in a dizzying display of golds and greens and browns. It seemed to her that Squall had been doing this for his entire life. He had been a passive spectator watching his life pass by like terrain flashing past a window.
It made her worry about him now. Could he move on by himself or would he just return to that cocoon of indifference and hostility that had sheltered him for so long? He seemed so pathetically unprepared to really experience living. Squall had relied on isolation and blind obedience to keep his heart safe from injury for so long that she wasn't sure that he could change on his own.
His first timid attempts to reach out to others were still done from behind a protective shield. She remembered trying to get him to hug her in the airlock of the Ragnarok. The look of dismay on his face had made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. Squall had been far more frightened of hugging her than of battling a shipload of Propagators. She felt so sorry for him.
"She's awful quiet," Rinoa heard one soldier mutter to another in a low, low voice. She knew that once she wouldn't have been able to hear him. Being a sorceress had changed that. It had changed a lot of things.
"Be alert," whispered another. They were afraid of her. Harmless, moderately inept, but always earnest Rinoa. It brought tears to her eyes.
Rinoa wasn't used to having people be afraid of her. Squall hadn't been afraid of her so much as he was afraid of himself. No matter how badly he had treated people, he had never made them feel like monsters. These soldiers made her feel like one. They might feel sorry for her but they also feared and distrusted her because she was a sorceress. She was a witch, a monster, a freak, a loose cannon that had to be eliminated. It was a terrible sensation, being hated for things that you couldn't control. She hadn't wanted to inherit Edea's power. She hadn't asked to become a sorceress. They feared her anyway.
It wasn't fair.
The transport slowed and she could see the imposing shape of the Sorceress' Memorial. She could feel them watching her, preparing for some last minute change of heart perhaps. No, she wanted to tell them, she had no intention of changing her mind. Better this than living in isolation, feared by everyone. She adored people. Being rejected and unloved was simply the worst hell that she could imagine.
The official had carefully explained the procedure but she already knew what would happen. They would do to her what they had done to Adel so long ago. She would be imprisoned and frozen for the rest of her existence. Because of Ultimecia. Because she was a sorceress.
"I'm glad that you both understood the situation," the official said in a polite voice. "I didn't relish battling a SeeD."
Rinoa smiled a false little smile in return. The man needn't have worried. It would have been nice if Squall had forcibly saved her from herself but she knew that he wouldn't. Squall had understood her reasons and had conceded to the logic of it. It had disappointed her a little but she hadn't been surprised. Time and time again, he'd told her that he would do whatever she ordered him to do. Poor confused Squall simply could not bring himself to defy orders, even if it broke his heart.
Rinoa only barely paid attention as the technicians began preparing her for the process. She quietly followed them to the device which would be her prison for eternity. Looking at it made her suddenly tremble. She didn't want to be frozen forever, she didn't want to be doing this. Her feet refused to work as she stared at the symbol of what she feared most.
"I don't want to be alone," she said in a soft pleading voice. She could face anything but only if she had friends. She couldn't do this on her own. She felt her resolve breaking, fraying at the edges.
One of the technicians tried to comfort her, sympathy showing on his face. "Its not fair, I know," he said in a voice that spoke of his own reservations about what was happening. "But the consequences..."
Squall's face drifted into her imagination. Rinoa took a deep breath and found the strength to get her feet moving again. This was for Squall's sake, for SeeD and the Forest Owls and everyone else. This was even for people she had never met and probably never would. She was dangerous now. Which was worse, being alone or killing everyone she loved?
Rinoa stepped up into the machine.
She watched in a kind of numb fascination as the final preparations were made. The seals were closed one by one, little clicking sounds that sealed her fate. The humming of machinery grew louder and the chamber that she was in grew steadily colder. Soon she would only be dimly aware of existence, her mind trapped between moments.
So, she thought, this is it.
The sounds of chaos and shouting startled her out of her reverie. Through the sealed walls she could see a form running towards her, a vision almost beyond her comprehension. Squall?! It couldn't be! Why would Squall be here? He was a SeeD and SeeDs had obligations.
Squall stood on the other side of the prison, desperate determination set grimly on his face. He tugged and pulled, struggling to break her free. He grew increasingly frustrated but wouldn't give up. She banged on the wall, wanting nothing more than to touch him, to prove to herself that he was real and not just some strange dream.
He was really and truly here. He had come to rescue her. Her heart soared at the thought. He had chosen her over orders. He had come despite common sense, logic and the very nature of SeeD itself. He was rescuing her for no other reason than that he cared. He had torn away his cocoon and she thought that she would burst from sheer happiness.
She saw the Lionheart slash through the cables of her prison with utter ease. A cold mist shrouded everything from sight but she leapt forward trusting in the person on the other side. For a little while, she had doubted him. She had no doubts now. Squall would be there for her.
Rinoa fell into Squall's welcoming arms. She felt the utter beauty of him holding her close and caressing her hair. His touch washed away all her fears and uncertainties, replacing them with comfort and strength. Nothing had ever felt so right as his embrace felt now. As she luxuriated in the perfect moment, Squall whispered softly into her ear.
"I love you."
Rinoa hugged him fiercely, tears of joy springing into her eyes. Nothing mattered now; not Ultimecia and not her own powers. She had everything that she needed to face whatever might come. She had this moment. She had her knight. She had love.
FIN.