GUNDANIUM UNDERPANTS
By Underlord Backlash
Inspired by
Celetina Brandywine's "Digital Underpants"
Here are some lines from
Gundam Wing that are much more amusing with the word "underpants"
substituted into them.
(A * indicates a favorite of
mine.)
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1. Heero: "I'll eliminate all underpants."*
2. Lady Une: "We won't be needing underpants any
further."
3. Rashid: "There will be a day when the underpants
will save us all."*
4. Relena: "All of you are very mistaken, and the
underpants will soon come to rectify your mistakes."
5. Zechs: "Those Gundam pilots are desperate,
they'll battle even if it means forfeiting their own underpants."
6. Heero: "Underpants, accepted."
7. Duo: "How's this for some underpants
maneuvering?"
8. Duo: "So… as long as this peace continues,
there's no need for underpants."
9. Duo: "So Wufei didn't bring his after
all…" Quatre: "No, he didn't; Heero and Trowa sent
their underpants to me right away."*
10. Preventer Ann: "One year ago, people did not have the
peace of mind to enjoy underpants."
11. Noin: "The Preventers only put out fires,
these underpants don't suit us."
12. Dekim Barton: "There's nothing wrong with wishing for
underpants, but the question is, 'Is humanity ready for it?'"
13. Mariameia: "My father entrusted me with these
Christmas underpants, I've got to deliver them to the people."
14. Duo: "Anything at all, for the underpants you
love…"*
15. Dekim: "UNDERPANTS! The time has come!"**
16. Dekim: "And we shall be the symbol of
underpants for the people!"
17. Zechs: "If I may suggest, I'd like the name
'Underpants'…"**********^_^
18. Heero: "I've been underpants ever since the day
I was born."
19. Doctor J: "But do you really believe Heero Yuy
would be pleased if we buried his underpants?"
20. Duo: "P.S.
Don't blame us if they run out of underpants."
21. Duo: "Out of my underpants!"**
22. Abdul: "Yeah, we wouldn't want to return only
to find out there's no more underpants!"
23. Duo: "Hey, I know this; I know this style of
underpants!"*
24. Wufei: "I'll gladly accept your
underpants!"***
25. Treize: "He got out of the underpants to fight
me, and I respect that."
26. Relena: "Heero… is he a little underpants?"
27. Quatre: "We can't avoid some underpants."
28. Abdul: "Please!
Take underpants with you, Master Quatre!"
29. Trowa: "Operation Underpants, it's what they
called the Gundams' descent to Earth."
30. Duo: "I'm not about to have my underpants
here used as a tool for massacre."
31. Duo: "If it meant peace for this colony, I'd
be the God of Underpants anyday."***
32. Duo: "THE GOD OF UNDERPANTS IS BACK FROM
HELL!"********
33. Trowa: "I have no underpants…"
34. Trowa: "I was feeling insecure without
underpants, I wouldn't mind taking his…"*
35. Noin: "Sally, were you able to confirm any new
types of underpants in the last battle?"
36. Quatre: "Take care everyone; say 'hi' to the
Goddess of Underpants!"
37. Zechs: "I guess there still is a place for
people who just can't get used to underpants."
38. Zechs: "I find I cannot sleep in my underpants,
while Treize's spirit is still roaming among us."***
39. Dekim: "If you continue to insist on getting in
our underpants, we will drop X-18999 onto Earth!"****
40. Wufei: "Now then Earth, show me your true idea
of underpants."
41. Duo: "I'll give you my best underpants."*
42. Wufei: "And I will become underpants itself to
find out!"
43. Sally: "You were kind enough to leave me plenty
of good underpants."
44. Heero: "The more you fight, the more sacrificed
for underpants becomes a waste! You must
have realized that!"
45. Wufei: "So are you saying that soldiers who
know nothing but how to fight get underpants?!"
46. Wufei: "I'm fighting on behalf of all
underpants, including you!"
47. Noin: "Who are you waiting for?" Zechs:
"For those who hope for underpants…"**
48. Noin: "Zechs, I told you a year ago that I'll
never leave your underpants."* (get
your minds out of the gutter, buncha perverts)
49. Duo: "Let's only take the underpants, and war
itself, along with us to Hell!"
50. Wufei: "This Treize, is my underpants."
51. Heero: "I'll relieve you of your
underpants."*
52. Duo: "Underpants are things other people give
you, there's no point wasting time worrying; the important thing's that we have
a place to call home."
53. (Contributed by Amalia R.
James) Otto: "LONG LIVE KING UNDERPANTS!"
54. (Contributed by
SilverStargazer) Relena: "UUUUUNDEEEEEERRRPAAAANTS! I am right over here, so come and kill
me!"
55. Wufei: "Those who have no underpants do not
have the right to fight."
56. Relena: "But how can fighting lead to
underpants?" Doctor J: "It leads directly to
underpants."***
57. Trowa: "Beast only bear their fangs at enemies,
they're true to their underpants."
58. Catherine: "Mysterious underpants…"*
59. Heero: "Change in orders… That craft is
carrying OZ underpants."
60. Sally: "Right now, healing your heart is more
important that my underpants."
61. Duo: "The best mechanics in the world
couldn't repair a suit without underpants, not like you and your leg."*
62. Zechs: "Father, my underpants are too stained
with blood (^_^''); I'm completely unfit
to lead the Peacecraft monarchy."*******
63. Trowa: "If you must call me something, just
call me 'underpants.'"
64. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Quatre: "Did you hear what I said? Don't get any closer to my
underpants!" Trowa: "Quatre, what's wrong? These
aren't the underpants I know"
65. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Mariemeia: "Underpants are much like an endless waltz..." [Addendum by qwaz: …a triple measure of boxers, briefs, and
thongs.]
66. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Heero: "What's the matter Quatre? Not an underpants person?"
67. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Quatre: "Are underpants needed in a war?" Heero: "Not during the fighting but
it is for the rest of the time"
68. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Relena's Friends: "Come on Relena, show us your pretty underpants!"
69. (Contributed by Sylver
Secret) Heero: "My underpants are
cheap."
70. (Contributed by The
Optimistic God of Death) Professor G:
"Duo, Deathscythe is an excellent piece of underpants, try to come
up with something better to do with it than destroy it."
71. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch
Cat) Duo: "Anyone who sees me has got a date with his underpants."
72. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch
Cat) Duo: "Well, looks like you're the underpants here!"
73. (Contributed by Heero Fooie,
corrected by me) Heero: "Judging by its speed, there's probably
three underpants on board."
74. Duo: "Hey lady! I just saved your underpants!"
75. Duo: "He knows Gundanium's impact tolerance,
which means-- He's the mobile suit's
underpants!"
76. Duo: "This is Duo here, I've destroyed the
main underpants. Now I just have to
slice my way outta this battle!"
77. Trowa: "Now that you've seen me, I can't let
you live. My secret mission was to
destroy only the underpants, now I'll destroy everything!"
78. Trowa: "This is battle 001, pilot's
name…'Underpants', for the record."*
79. Toonami Narrator: "Battles are waged with underpants, the
key to military dominance."*
80. Toonami Narrator: "The only hope for the colonies: five
elite soldiers and their legendary mobile suits, known as…. Underpants."**
81. Toonami Narrator: "Now, these pilots will shake the
underpants of the alliance, and change the course of history."
82. Wufei: "You saw I was underpants and you
underestimated me."
83. Quatre: "You shouldn't be underpants at
all!"
84. Aries pilot killed by
Quatre: "Come get me, you
underpaaaaaaants!!"
85. Heero: "Say 'underpants'."
86. Heero: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH UNDERPANTS?!"
87. Some soldier dude: "Get all underpants ready for
combat!"
88. Narrator: "However, the United Earthsphere
Alliance gains great military powers, and soon seizes control of one colony
after another; in the name of justice, and underpants."
89. Some satellite dude: "Moving underpants confirmed, at La
Grange point AX--"
90. Some other satellite
dude: "Zechs is in the underpants,
let him know what we've found."
91. Zechs: "I told you, I am a true
underpants." 1/2*
92. Flight attendant: "Minister Dorlain, the shuttle will soon
enter the atmosphere. Please remember to
fasten your underpants, and remain seated."
93. Minister Dorlain: "I'm sorry, but my underpants keep
getting in the way."*
94. Heero: (sounding like he's about to cry) "I'm finally here, I made it to the
underpants."
95. Zechs: "No, no underpants for him."***
96. Zechs: "Besides, if it's underpants he wants, I
should at least give him my very best."**
97. Zechs: "He blew away two underpants with just
one shot, not too shabby."
98. Zechs: "That reckless pilot won't have
underpants."
99. Zechs: "There's no bright future for soldiers
scurrying for their underpants."*
100.
Relena: "I'd better get
underpants!"
101.
Zechs: "We were up against
a mobile suit made of underpants."*
102.
Treize: Can't imagine otherwise,
the Alliance's underpants is far from sufficient."
103.
Treize: "Valuable combat
resources? Are you talking about our
soldiers, or are you talking about underpants?"*
104.
Treize: "The Alliance
military is getting too complacent during this time of underpants."
105.
Quatre: "Give up your
underpants and surrender, and I'll spare your lives."***
106.
Wufei: "My name's
Underpants, I'm not hiding anywhere."
107.
One of Relena's friends:
"That guy doesn't need any underpants."
108.
Relena: "What kind of
underpants is he?"
109.
Some guy: "Hey Heero, I
hear you ripped up Relena's underpants yesterday."******
110.
Zechs: "First, all
underpants must be eliminated…"**
111.
Zechs: "Underpants
plunging to Earth, it's the only way to achieve total pacifism!"
112.
Lady Une:
"I am like a body that has lost its underpants…"*
113.
Relena: "Let's put
an end to all of this, the underpants and the battles."
114.
Howard: "If those two underpants
hit ground, the entire world will be affected!"
115.
Trowa: "I've
continually fought, and with each battle I've been killing my own underpants."
116.
Trowa: "Maybe my
life doesn't have underpants anymore, but I have to keep on living."
117.
Duo: "Okay, when we're done
here, we'll celebrate with some expensive underpants!"
118.
Lady Une:
"This isn't an order, it's a favor, as a fellow believer of underpants."
119.
Lady Une:
"This year, in After Colony 195, the history of underpants is finally
about to come to an end."
120.
Lady Une:
"This battle is making each of us look for a solution to secure
underpants."*
121.
Heero: "You're the
same as Treize, claiming to fight for peace to
protect the underpants."
122.
Zechs: "It's the
stronger who create the underpants!"*
123.
Heero: "You're
underpants, Zechs."*
124.
Zechs: "Not
underpants."
125.
Zechs: "My
underpants are smeared with blood, and I won't be talked out of this
transgression!"
126.
Heero: "Relena would be underpants."**
127.
Quatre: "We'd
better get out of here, cause we don't want to get in Heero's
underpants!"*****
128.
Heero:
"UNDERPANTS WILL SURVIVE!"*
129.
(Contributed by Anika) Duo:
"Just watch me I will become the God of Death once again! But right now, I need some
underpants..."
130.
Quatre: "Are you…are you telling me to get underpants?"
131.
Duo: "As they say, 'evil attracts underpants.'"
132.
Treize: "The
emotions of those who are thought to be underpants are always filled with
sorrow."
133.
Wufei: "NO WAY!
Underpants want to keep fighting!"****
134.
Quatre: "They're
violent and dangerous, but they're all really nice underpants."
135.
Quatre: "And if
Underpants refuse?"
136.
Quatre: "Underpants
up! And no funny stuff!"**
137.
Trowa: "I will
correct the mistakes brought on by your underpants."
138.
Trowa: "Without
underpants we cannot fight."
139.
Trowa: "You're
underpants, you really are."**
140.
Duo: "Why don't you just give up
and stop pretending to be underpants?"
141.
Trowa: "Or should
I be following your underpants?"
142.
Heero: "I was
counting on those underpants right from the beginning."
143.
Duo: "This time, try to use your
underpants a little bit." (NO YAOI
JOKES, PLEASE!)
144.
Dorothy: "You musn't fear underpants…"
145.
Dorothy: "You're going to spoil
this beautiful view of the underpants?"*
