Disclaimer: This is a
work of fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to Marvel
and I just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the
pure pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not
sue me, I don't have money and won't be getting some from this story.
Author's notes: This fiction is a sequel to my
story Shot through the heart and is based just like Needle in my
heart, Don't walk away, Prisoner of your eyes (in that order)on
the movie "X-Men". A lot of sequels, but the idea has developed a life of its
own J. The change in font marks the
change in the speaker this time as well, hopefully it will be posted as
different fonts J.
Please let me know what you think about it, I am grateful for all the reviews and feedback I get so send some at Sonja.Triebel@web.de
I know that you are reading this J
Archive wherever you wish to, but drop me a line so I can look out for good fics there, too.
Jean still sat in their room on the bed, Scott had gone hours ago to a mission and she hadn't changed her position since then. Jean still sat on the bed, her knees drawn to her chest and the arms pulled around them, as if she wanted to hold herself onto then, to search for a straw that could save her from the wild ocean of her own confused feelings. She had felt that Scott knew, that he knew what she felt for Logan and that she could hide it no longer from him. She knew, that he had known it all the time. She had never meant to hurt him, and she felt extremely sorry for doing so for he was her first love, the first true love she had ever had. But her heart beat now for Logan, she still loved Scott but her feelings were so much stronger for the man named Logan, who had come to the mansion a while ago and had caught her feelings since then.
Outside it had gotten dark, but Jean
hadn't noticed it, her glare still resting on the empty space of the corner of
their room. She felt lonely, empty and that there was nothing with what she
could have filled this emptiness. Jean was alone and it came only now fully to
her awareness, just how lonely she truly was. Logan had gone and not given any
proof of life to her, nothing that told her he would be alright or would come
back to her.
Scott was gone now and he knew, she
had hurt him too now but in the corner of her mind she felt a bit relieved that
he knew, that he knew how she felt for Logan and although he was hurt now, he
would be over it, for that she really hoped. She didn't want to loose both of
them completely.
Jean felt the numbness that held her
heart and the dull pain of yearning that didn't want to let her go.
~/~
The mansion
is empty now, everybody has gone and only I am left. Alone. Oh, Logan, if only
you could be here, could be here with me, to hold me in your arms and tell me I
wasn't alone. I don't know where you are, but please send me a sign, let me
know if you still love me.
~/~
Jean had closed her eyes, as she
felt a presence in the main hall. Someone had entered the mansion. Her heart
began to beat faster, her breathing became more heavily. Her pulse could barely
be felt, so fast was it. She knew who it was, who had entered the mansion.
~/~
I know who it
is and I feel my excitement rise. But there also remains a small fear. He has
returned, but to whom has he returned, to the X-Men or to me?
~/~
The main hall of the big house was
deserted as he entered. The door closed with a loud creak and he inhaled the
air of the school, he hadn't been able to smell for so long. He had missed the
familiar scent that was around, her perfume and he felt how his own heart began
to beat faster. She still was here and he couldn't await to see her again, to
confess his feelings towards her. He couldn't await to tell her that he still
loved her and was willing to risk to be turned down again, should her feelings
towards him haven't changed. But he loved her that much and wanted her to know
it, that she knew he still would be there for her and wait for her, no matter
how much time she needed or if she would never be able to love him. It was
something he had wished for more than anything else, that she could love him
too, more than he had ever wished for something in his whole life.
He knew exactly that she was there
when she came down the stairs, his heart was beating so hard, as if it wanted
to jump right out of his chest, his glare caught in her deep green eyes and the
way her long red hair fell over her shoulders, her beautiful face. When she
stood in front of him, he caught her perfume, which overloaded his senses.
Oh, how much had he missed that
fragrance and only imagined it, how much had he longed for that moment.
For a moment that seemed to be
eternity for both of them they only stood there, unable to say anything, unsure
about the feelings of the other.
They both were uncertain about how
they should begin, unsure of themselves and the other too. It had been almost
eternity since he had left and none of them really could believe, that they
were standing here together again, united. For Jean was it a dream as well as
it was for Logan, a dream they had dreamt for so long and that had now become
reality It was an eternity in which they simply stood in the hall before one of
them began to speak.
"Logan", Jean said silently. "What
took you so long?"
Deep within her she wasn't sure what
she had meant with it, the time of his absence or of his return, maybe the time
to realize his feelings for her, she was still able to read that they were
strong, strong for her or had she meant herself with that, the time, she had
needed to realize her feelings for him herself. She felt, that his emotions
concerning her still were as strong as before and she was relieved about it.
She had longed for this moment as well as she had feared it, feared to have
lost him forever. But he stood there and still felt the same for her and she
finally was sure about her feelings for him.
Instead of an answer he took her in
his arms and held her tight. He held her for a long time, she buried her face
in his arms. Both of then held each other as if they would never let go, even
if the whole world came down around them.
"Jean, I love you and I will always
love you, no matter…"
"Shh", she put a finger over his
lips to close them. "I know and I have to tell you something, too. I only had
needed time to realize it. I love you too, Logan."
"Oh, Jean", Logan felt his inner
strain relieving, the fears he had had too subsiding and how glad he was to
hear that, to hear these words from her. Tenderly he stroked over her cheeks,
some tears came running down them. Her skin was so soft and Jean felt how
gentle his fingers were, who took the tears from her. She had so much wished
for this moment, the whole months longed for this day. Jean couldn't prevent
more tears from falling down but Logan bowed down to her and kissed them gently
away. Her heartbeat was no more countable and her breathing was heavy. Logan
took her chin in his hands and held it before he kissed her. His lips tasted
salty from her tears and Jean felt slight shivers running through her body.
How much had she longed for that
moment, that he would take her in his arms and kiss her, that he would tell her
he would still love her. Logan held her tight and kissed her deeply, his
feelings so deep and honest, so full of love as he opened up his heart for her
and gave it completely to her. She returned the kiss and pulled him tight, as
if she never wanted to release him again, to let him out of her arms again, as
if she wanted to make sure, it really was him who held her in his arms. So as
if she wanted to make sure, that it was reality she experienced. She had wished
so hard for his, more than anything in her live before.
"I love you so much", Jean said as
she broke the kiss. "I will always love you, Logan."
~/~
Her cheeks were wet and she felt her
own salty tears on her lips. Her arms were still drawn around her knees,
clutched tighter than they had been before, her glance blurred with tears. She
still could feel his lips on hers, his tender touch on her cheeks as he had kissed
her tears away, but she was alone, lonelier than she had been before.
~/~
Oh, Logan, I wished you were here with me, wished for
that more than anything else, than that you would be really here with me. I
could feel your lips, your body as you have embraced me, it had all been so
real. I have heard your voice telling me you loved me.
Where are you? Why can't you be here with me, so that I can tell you too, what I really feel for you, that I do love you too? It was all so real and I would give anything for making it truly real, I'd give anything to be with you now. I feel alone and hollow, more than I have ever been before, for you are not with me. The nights are so full of loneliness and this emptiness holds my heart imprisoned, my soul in his cage. Only when you will be here with me, I can be happy again. It hurts so much, to feel this emptiness of my heart, the dazing cold that is surrounding myself since you've been gone.
I know now that I love only you, that my heart belongs
only to you. Wherever you might be now, I hope you know that you can always
return to me, whenever you want to.
I will wait for you and hope you know that I love you
too.
~fin~