A Line I Crossed (Part 5)
Another Voyager fanfic by TaTTooGaL™ (Lt Taya 17 Janeway)
It nearly broke my heart
And worked me over like a work of art
And I was a part of all that
******
It was late at night on the Starship Enterprise, and the engine room was nearly deserted except for a few persons from both the Enterprise and the Voyager, slaving away over advanced quantum physics. Data, for one, was there, as well as Seven of Nine, working till the wee hours of the morning. Dax and Torres had chosen to join them as well, and Kim had arrived slightly later. They were all exhausted by the heavy repair work, but they gamely conversed with each other as they worked.
Data was singing as he worked. It was a bad habit of his, but his efficiency allowed him enough focus to both work on complex fourth-dimensional equations as well as harmonize. He sang an old jazz blues tune from the early twentieth century. Kim was impressed. "You sing well, Captain," he told Data. "Maybe we can have a jazz duet: you could sing, and I'd play my clarinet."
"I attempted a similar performance with Commander Riker on the Enterprise-D once before," Data replied. "I sang while being accompanied on his trombone. The result was… interesting, but Commander Riker told me it was better than my whistling at any rate."
"Maybe you should have a duet with Seven," suggested Torres, a twinkle in her eye. "I've heard that she has quite a phenomenal talent."
"From the Doctor, no doubt," commented Seven. "He has a tendency to exaggerate."
"Still, it'd be worth a listen," said Dax, punching up another wormhole equation. Her former host, Jadzia, had been an expert in this area, and Counselor Ezri Dax still retained much of that knowledge. "How about right now, since we have the time?"
Seven and Data glanced at each other. "Which piece?" Seven asked Data.
"You select; I have a vast databank of harmonies from all times and places." Data told her. "I can even sing Klingon opera, if you'd like."
Seven favored him with a rare smile. "The Perfect Year from the musical Sunset Boulevard."
"Mid twentieth century, Andrew Lloyd Webber," agreed Data. "Bring out the old, bring in the new, a midnight wish to share with you…"
As they were singing Bashir stepped into the engine room. The room was large and fairly empty at this point of time, and the resonating voices of the two singers rang loud and clear: almost like a concert hall. When they'd ended he raised his hands and politely clapped them. "That was excellent, Captain. But you'd better not let Beverly hear you sing like that; it'd just reinforce her silly notion of getting the whole crew to put up a musical for the annual admiral's ball." Bashir sighed. "You don't hear people singing that often on our ship."
"True; there isn't much to sing for these days," commiserated Data. "Did you want something, Doctor?"
"Let me see, it's two a.m. and my kids are still waiting in their quarters for a bedtime story and a goodnight kiss… maybe I've come to get my wife back?"
Dax laughed and punched Bashir lightly on the arm. "I get the point, Julian. I know it's late… but can't you see I'm doing work?"
"A psychiatrist working on quantum mechanics? Next thing you'll see me working on the warp core." Bashir grinned at Dax.
"I'll eat my boots before I let you do that," came a jovial voice from the back. It was Geordi LaForge, returning to work after a late supper. "I've heard enough of Miles' complaints that you can tell the right way up on an isolinear chip."
"That's because there isn't a right way up," retorted Bashir, laughing.
LaForge walked over to the banks of console where they were working to analyze the work. "I think we're making good progress," he said, poring over the lines of symbols and inscriptions. "We might even finish our calculations within the next few days."
"Well, then I'd better get that clarinet duet scheduled pretty soon," said Kim, half-jokingly, but his words held a twinge of regret in them. The Enterprise's foray into their universe had been purely accidental, caused by a small error in a calculation algorithm, which had been since then been modified. It was unlikely that the two ships would ever encounter each other again. A pity, really. The two crews got along so well with each other.
"The clarinet, Harry? I didn't know you played an instrument. Myself, Captain Picard taught me how to play a Ressikan flute in the time when our two ships were working together on some subspace anomalies before the Soran incident." It was Tighe, standing in the doorway with Janeway. "Maybe you'd better make that a triplet, Captain."
Smiles spread across the room as Janeway and Tighe made their way across the room. Torres angled a wicked glance at Seven. "Make that a quartet act, Data," she suggested.
Tighe stood in front of the banks of consoles and smirked. "I should have known… never leave a group of engineers to work on higher level quantum equations… what do you think the fabric of space-time is, a plasma manifold? Where did all these inverse-square functions come from?" She chuckled as her deft fingers reworked the equations.
Janeway stood next to her and watched her as she worked, dropping suggestions every now and then. Kim eyed them with a slight smile on his face. Like mother, like daughter, he thought.
Another face popped in through the door. It was Tom Paris, looking slightly annoyed. "B'Elanna? You in there?" He caught sight of the half-Klingon engineer and his face dissolved into an expression of relief. "Finally! I've been running around two ships looking for you!" He gestured to the interior of the room. "May I come in?"
When nobody protested he walked in and settled down on the floor beside Torres. "Doesn't answer commbadge, isn't in Engineering, can't be found…" He muttered. "B'Elanna, you've got to keep better track of yourself." He grinned.
"Where did everyone go to?" came another petulant voice from the doorway. It was Alena Paris. She stepped in and surveyed the small crowd gathered in the engine room. "What is this, some kind of clandestine midnight gathering? How come I wasn't invited?" Grinning, she caught Tom Paris' eye and waved. "Hi."
Dax laughed. "Come to think of it, all the off-duty senior crew are here…" she gazed around. "With the notable exception of our CMO, of course…"
At that moment, as if on cue, Beverly Crusher walked into the engine room, arms akimbo.
"Speak of the devil," said Dax.
"This must be the most happening place in the universe," observed Bashir with a smile.
"It must be the feng shui. It's drawing everyone here." Dax grinned.
"What was that all about?" asked Crusher, curious.
"Nothing much. Did you want something?" asked Bashir.
"Just where in the world did you keep my chocolate tin in Sickbay?" she asked. "I can't even have a midnight snack without turning the place upside down!"
"Oh. That." Bashir looked sheepish. "Remember the night shift had a tea-party last week…?"
Crusher threw up her hands. "And you ate every single one of my chocolate cookies! Thieves and philanderers!"
The room resounded with laughter at that. Chakotay chose that moment to step into the fairly crowded engine room. "Captain?"
Janeway straightened up from where she'd been leaning on a support strut to watch the antics of the crew. "Is there something wrong, Chakotay?"
He was smirking in the way that he had, indicating his amusement. "Nothing, except a special personal request from Tuvok regarding shift changes." He handed her a padd with an irrepressible grin.
Janeway took it and scanned it. "He wants to go for an earlier shift? Why?"
Chakotay's smirk widened as he leaned closer to his captain. "With his shift only in three hours' time and all of you socializing over here, he's stuck alone in the mess hall." An evil glint came into his eye. "Neelix is trying out Terran-style rapping on him."
Janeway's eyes widened in disbelief. "Rapping? What kind?"
"Late twentieth to early twenty-first. Nothing but the classics, of course. Puff Daddy, Eminem…"
Paris fell over in laughter. "Neelix doing Eminem? No wonder Tuvok wants to find any excuse to get out of the Mess Hall as fast as possible!"
Kim looked confused. "What's an Eminem?"
Paris shot him a wicked look. "Trust me, you really don't want to know, Mr. Juliard-trained Clarinetist."
"Eminem was a late-twentieth white rapper who garnered much controversy in the artistic world for his use of extremely offensive and vulgar content in his compositions," offered Data helpfully. "A sampling of the lyrics from his hit single, The Real Slim Shady, is as follows-"
LaForge raised his hand and stopped Data in time. "Thank you, Data, that was most informative. And it's all we need to know."
"I did find it a very illuminating example of human expression," said Data plaintively. "It constitutes a … very strong display of emotions. I thought others might benefit from this."
Seven's interest was immediately piqued. "Really. Perhaps you might care to enlighten me."
Data opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by an excited exclamation from Tighe. "I got it!" she exclaimed, and her eyes grew wide. "We can go home."
Torres gave her a disbelieving glance. "That fast?" She wandered over to her console. "We've been slaving on this the whole day!"
Tighe shrugged. "Hey, I specialize in this field. If there's anyone on this ship who's supposed to be able to do this kind of math, it's me." She nodded to Janeway. "Could you help me get an isolinear transfer chip? They're stored in the compartment under that console there."
"So I guess that means you'll be leaving soon," said Janeway as she leaned down to open the compartment. She stared in surprise as she found stacks and stacks of plump square objects. "They look like pillows to me."
"That's because they are. The isolinear chips are to your right… No, not that one, the one next to it… yes." She sighed, then glanced at Data. "I guess we leave whenever Data says so."
Data nodded. "We should not delay too much. Starfleet needs all the resources they have at hand to battle the Dominion." At the mention of the war the jovial mood in the engine room sobered considerably.
"Yeah, I guess," said Kim with a tinge of melancholy in his voice. "Starfleet needs you."
"And we'll probably never run into each other again," said Crusher wistfully. "Kind of a pity." She didn't exactly say we'll miss you, but it was implied in her words.
"Yeah, well, at least it was fun while it lasted," said Paris, leaning back on a console with a grin, eliciting blips of protest from it.
"And there's always time for a farewell pillow fight," said Bashir with a mischievous glint.
"A pillow fight?" asked Torres suspiciously.
"What did you think those pillows were for, sleepovers?" asked Geordi. "That's the Engineering weapons locker."
Data gave them a disapproving look. "I believe that pillow fights are inappropriate displays of decorum- or lack thereof- which befits Starfleet officers."
"Oh, come on, Captain," cajoled Tighe, "it's a time-honored Enterprise tradition…"
Data's stern expression melted into a smile. "Then again, a few rounds certainly wouldn't hurt…" he gave Seven a slight wink. "It would be a suitable outlet for human expression."
Janeway grabbed a pillow and swatted Chakotay on the butt. "I don't see why not."
"Hey! I was unarmed!" protested Chakotay, seizing another pillow and bopping Janeway on the head. Tighe could only laugh as everyone else scrambled to get a pillow, carefree as she'd never been in months.
******
But now I'm sleeping fine
Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
I am the daughter of a great romance
And they are the children of the war
******
The Enterprise-E hovered beside the Voyager for the last time; the last transport between the two ships was currently taking place.
Tighe had arranged it so that she was one of the last to transport off. She watched as Reskin and Torres exchanged a big, friendly hug before he stepped onto the transporter pad. He gave her a brief nod and she worked the consoles, beaming him away. Now she was the only one left.
Kim and Janeway had both accompanied her to the transporter room. Kim handed her a small object made out of blue glass. It was a paperweight carved in the shape of a dolphin. "I made that last year sometime during my fetish with handicrafts," he told her. "I want you to have it. To remember that places are only dark because someplace else, there is light."
Tighe held it in her hand, eyes wide. "It's beautiful." She smiled up at Kim. "Thank you, Harry. I won't forget."
Kim headed over to the transporter controls, leaving her alone with Janeway.
"Well," said Janeway slowly, "I guess this is goodbye."
"Yes." Tighe reached down to her pocket, drew out a thin flexible plastic sheet, and handed it to Janeway. "I want you to have this."
Janeway took it. It was the picture of her family on Risa, taken so many years ago. Her expression melted. "Amanda… this…" She glanced gratefully at her. "Thank you."
"I should be the one thanking you… you helped me come to grips with my life." Tighe smiled. "You helped me put my grief behind me."
The two women embraced, and it was like closing a door on another chapter of their lives, closing the small window which had shown them another facet, given them another chance in life.
When Tighe drew back her eyes were shining. "If you ever have a child… be as good a mother to her as my mother was to me, " she said. Then she stepped onto the transporter pad, never taking her gaze from Janeway.
Janeway nodded, solemn. "I promise I will."
Kim worked the console. "Ready… energizing." As the walls of the Voyager dissolved away Tighe closed her eyes with a beautiful smile, mentally bidding farewell to the one woman who'd changed her life most for the second time.
******
So go ahead, push your luck
Say what it is you've got to say to me
We will push on into that mystery
And it'll push right back
And there are worse things than that
'Cause for every price
And every penance that I could think of
It's better to have fallen in love
Than never to have fallen at all
******
Janeway was secure in her quarters, musing about the experiences of the past few days. She held the holograph in her hand, tilting it back and forth so that the surface caught the light and reflected it brilliantly at her. It was odd, looking at a picture of herself in a situation she couldn't remember at all. It was almost like… she had a piece of her life she didn't know anything about.
She considered the frozen image of her family that never was. Another life, another time, but she somehow felt a strange kind of empathy to the woman in this holograph. She remembered her last words to Amanda, and smiled, putting the photo down. In the space of a few days, a painful wound had been reopened and then healed again, this time more fully and assuredly than before. She no longer had to wonder what her life would have been like if the tragedy had never occurred.
And now that she knew, she found it even harder to leave the life that she had now for something else, tempting as it was. Faced with a different reality, she had realized how much her present one meant to her. She couldn't imagine a day without it. Things were so beautiful now. It was like she'd been given a second chance to make things right, and she had, for both her estranged daughter and herself. Janeway smiled down at the beaming woman in the picture. "You owe me one."
Her commbadge beeped and she tapped it. "Janeway here."
It was Chakotay. "Captain? Where are you? We've been waiting ten minutes!"
She drew in a breath. She'd been so caught up with her own thoughts she's completely forgotten about Kim's birthday celebration in the Mess Hall. "It slipped my mind! I'm sorry; I'll be right there."
She could hear the smirk in Chakotay's voice. "It's alright. But you'd better hurry, or we'll start on the birthday pranks without you." His voice lowered conspiratorially. "You wouldn't want to miss out on stripping Ensign Kim, now, would you?"
"You barbarians. If you aren't afraid of a court-martial, go ahead and try. I'll be right there. Janeway out." She closed the commlink, laughing. Sometimes it was better to have things done the way they were than not to have them done at all. She put the shadows of the roads not taken behind her and headed out for the Mess Hall, to embrace the one that she had been given.
'Cause when you live in a world
Well it gets in to who you thought you'd be
And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I think life chose me after all.
_______The End_______
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