~I Didn't Know Then~
Yume
Disclaimer: CCS does not belong to me, and never will no matter how much I wished for. Darn...
I didn't know it was you. I didn't know that it was YOUR eyes upon which I gazed into. I
often wondered to myself why. It shouldn't have happened this way. Then again, maybe it is better
for it to have occured.
All I know is this; I can finally look at you with MY eyes, laugh at you with MY voice, and
present myself with MY own soul.
I feared. I admit my deepest fear surfaced on that fateful day, when my alter ego let way
for me to submurged. I wasn't him anymore. I was myself. If I make a mistake, I only have myself to
blame on. If I suffered, only I have to endure the pain. If I loved, only I can make it stop. HE is no
longer part of me. I am...me.
Perhaps that wasn't entirely true. After all, he and I are one. We can not be separated. We
coexist, for better and worse. He is I as I to him. He is the side of me that understands how to laugh
at the world, how to look at the darkest moments and find light and goodness in it. He is the brighter
phase of the moon which everyone gazes upon and smiles at.
As for me... I didn't know what, who, am I. I possess the knowledge which had been hidden to
mankind. I carry upon my shoulders the power of selection, the power of destruction, the power of
love's enemy. I call myself a guardian, and yet I'm only the side of the moon that turns their back to
everyone, sulking in darkness alone, afraid to show its face.
I feared.
What good is power when all they bring you is sadness? Can magic cure a lonely heart and soul
that has been abandoned since time had existed? I had wished it could, but in reality... It didn't and
never will.
But maybe you can. Maybe, just maybe, you can see through my false form and discover my
real self. I'm almost afraid to let you do so.
Clow Reed created us like this. He wished for us to support each other, to help each other in
times of need. But most of all, to support you.
When I was still in my other form, I recalled no memory of your emerald eyes nor your warm
smile. It all lied under my consciousness, and until the day I broke through my cocoon, it was just
emptiness. The instant I felt my own hands, moved by my own thoughts, then do those bitter and
sweet memories came rushing back.
I didn't know it was you, but now I know. And it hurts.
I fought, I tried, and yet I could not hurts you. Bit by bit, I could feel myself crumbling
inside. Pulled apart by love and duty. How ironic it is to be fighting the one you admired, you loved.
I chose love.
You held out your hand to me, offered help to me. Did you know that day I wept inside? The
sudden realization of how lonely I really was flooded me with uncontrollable emotions. It hurts. It
really hurts.
If, you had lost the trial, maybe I would still be alone. Still lurking beneath the alter identity,
still weeping over myself. Still not loved. But because of you, I am not anymore.
I now know it was you who had loved me, not for who I appear to be, but for who I am inside.
I now gaze into your eyes with my own.
Thank you, my precious Card Mistress. Thank you for lending me a hand when I need it.
And perhaps, one day I can shed my duties and fears for you. And maybe then, just maybe, I
could call you not by the designated name, Card Mistress, but by the name you so very well deserved---
Sakura.
I, Yue, created by the great magician Clow Reed, love you from the bottom of my heart.
Yume
Disclaimer: CCS does not belong to me, and never will no matter how much I wished for. Darn...
I didn't know it was you. I didn't know that it was YOUR eyes upon which I gazed into. I
often wondered to myself why. It shouldn't have happened this way. Then again, maybe it is better
for it to have occured.
All I know is this; I can finally look at you with MY eyes, laugh at you with MY voice, and
present myself with MY own soul.
I feared. I admit my deepest fear surfaced on that fateful day, when my alter ego let way
for me to submurged. I wasn't him anymore. I was myself. If I make a mistake, I only have myself to
blame on. If I suffered, only I have to endure the pain. If I loved, only I can make it stop. HE is no
longer part of me. I am...me.
Perhaps that wasn't entirely true. After all, he and I are one. We can not be separated. We
coexist, for better and worse. He is I as I to him. He is the side of me that understands how to laugh
at the world, how to look at the darkest moments and find light and goodness in it. He is the brighter
phase of the moon which everyone gazes upon and smiles at.
As for me... I didn't know what, who, am I. I possess the knowledge which had been hidden to
mankind. I carry upon my shoulders the power of selection, the power of destruction, the power of
love's enemy. I call myself a guardian, and yet I'm only the side of the moon that turns their back to
everyone, sulking in darkness alone, afraid to show its face.
I feared.
What good is power when all they bring you is sadness? Can magic cure a lonely heart and soul
that has been abandoned since time had existed? I had wished it could, but in reality... It didn't and
never will.
But maybe you can. Maybe, just maybe, you can see through my false form and discover my
real self. I'm almost afraid to let you do so.
Clow Reed created us like this. He wished for us to support each other, to help each other in
times of need. But most of all, to support you.
When I was still in my other form, I recalled no memory of your emerald eyes nor your warm
smile. It all lied under my consciousness, and until the day I broke through my cocoon, it was just
emptiness. The instant I felt my own hands, moved by my own thoughts, then do those bitter and
sweet memories came rushing back.
I didn't know it was you, but now I know. And it hurts.
I fought, I tried, and yet I could not hurts you. Bit by bit, I could feel myself crumbling
inside. Pulled apart by love and duty. How ironic it is to be fighting the one you admired, you loved.
I chose love.
You held out your hand to me, offered help to me. Did you know that day I wept inside? The
sudden realization of how lonely I really was flooded me with uncontrollable emotions. It hurts. It
really hurts.
If, you had lost the trial, maybe I would still be alone. Still lurking beneath the alter identity,
still weeping over myself. Still not loved. But because of you, I am not anymore.
I now know it was you who had loved me, not for who I appear to be, but for who I am inside.
I now gaze into your eyes with my own.
Thank you, my precious Card Mistress. Thank you for lending me a hand when I need it.
And perhaps, one day I can shed my duties and fears for you. And maybe then, just maybe, I
could call you not by the designated name, Card Mistress, but by the name you so very well deserved---
Sakura.
I, Yue, created by the great magician Clow Reed, love you from the bottom of my heart.