Once There Was A Way

Disclaimer: We only lay claim to the little Weasleys and Delaney (although we could probably only handle her in small doses). Everyone else belongs to the inimitable JK Rowling. And now on with the show….

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Once There Was A Way By ScarlettBelladonna and Portia

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"She said there is no reason

And the truth is plain to see."

-Whiter Shade of Pale

Chapter Three: Terms of Endearment

Even before Harry regained full consciousness he was aware of the fact the Hermione and Ron were arguing.

"This had better be important," grumbled Ron, "I am going to be peeved if I had to leave a meeting with a very important client because Harry finally realized what his hair looks like in the morning."

"That's lovely, Ron. Our best friend passes out brushing his teeth and you're annoyed that you had to call off a game of chess. I was in the middle of interviewing a very important witness and this delay will set me back days, but you don't hear me complaining."

"Actually, I believe your last statement could be interpreted as complaining. And just because my important meetings often involve a game of chess does not make them any less important Miss 'I'm-a-famous-barrister.' I do own the premier chessmen manufacturing company in the world after all."

"Only the Weasley boys could make fortunes playing with their toys all day," sniped an exasperated Hermione, "Some of us have to work for a living."

"Oh, sod off Hermione!" Ron and Hermione stopped their bickering to stare at their best friend, who was still on the bathroom floor. "It's not like I have a proper job."

"That's different," explained Hermione, "You are the most celebrated children's author the wizarding world has ever known. Staying home with the children is, er, research! Yes, research into the likes and dislikes of your target audience."

"Yes, and I get to stay in my pyjamas until dinner and play all day. At least Fred, George and Ron have to interact with people over the age of five on a regular basis."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply, but before she could speak Ginny cut in, "The three of you bicker like you did when you were eleven. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to examine my husband who, in case you failed to notice, is lying on the bathroom floor bleeding."

"You just can't wait to get those healing hands all over him, can you Gin?" leered Ron.

Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother's juvenility and proceeded to kneel beside Harry. "Alright Pumpkin, why don't you tell me what happened while I mend up your hand?"

"Pumpkin?" snorted Ron. "You let her call you Pumpkin? Oh, this is too much," tears of mirth were rolling down his cheeks.

"Shut up, Love Muffin," retorted Harry as he struggled to sit up.

Ron immediately turned that distinct crimson that only Weasleys can manage. "How, how did," he stuttered.

"Come off it, Ron. You and Hermione have been my best friends for over half our lives. Did you think I didn't know she called you Love Muffin?"

"Right then, Love Muffin" began Ginny, "I don't want to hear another peep out of you. Harry," she continued, "will you please tell us what happened? I need to find out if you have some serious medical condition. I can't have you fainting all over the place in any case."

Harry recounted the story of the odd image in the mirror to his audience.

"You as a four year old, eh?" inquired Ron. "Well, Gin, I think we can narrow his medical condition down to some form of dementia."

"Ron, darling, do stop being a prat," warned Hermione. "If Harry says he saw something in the mirror I think we should investigate a little further. It's much more likely that there was something wrong with the mirror than that there is something wrong with Harry. For Merlin's sake – our mirrors talk to us! That's odd in and of itself."

"I agree with Hermione," Ginny added. "You haven't been experiencing any other strange visions lately have you, Pumpkin?" Ron began to snigger again, but the memory of "Love Muffin" stopped him before anyone else noticed his amusement.

"Of course not. I haven't had visions in years and if I had I would have told you."

"Have you had any headaches or dizzy spells today or in the past few days?" Ginny continued her diagnosis.

"Not a one," replied Harry, "Although right now I have a bugger of a headache, but that's probably because I hit my head on the sink."

"Let's go down to my surgery, I have a potion that will fix up that headache in no time." Ginny helped Harry up off the floor then addressed Hermione and Ron. "You two can go on back to work. I don't have any other house calls to make today so I'll be here all day with Harry and the children in case anything else odd happens. We'll see you for dinner at the usual time?"

"I'll come right over after I pick up Harry from school," said Ron.

"Yes," agreed Hermione. "I'm going to drop off some of these mirror fragments at the Ministry lab for testing after I finish up at the office, but I should be here in plenty of time for dinner."

After watching Hermione and Ron disapparate and peeking into the playroom to check on the boys, Ginny and Harry made their way down to the room that served as Ginny's at-home workspace.

"This will make that headache go away and will prevent a concussion," explained Ginny as she handed her husband a chalice of fizzing liquid.

Harry eyed the potion suspiciously.

"Oh, don't be a baby. It's just my Concussion Concoction. I've administered it to my brothers more times than I can count. It tastes like candy."

Harry upended the cup and swallowed. He immediately grimaced and clutched his stomach. "Bloody hell, Ginny! That tasted awful; I think I'm going to be ill. Candy my… "

"You never asked what kind of candy," interrupted Ginny mischievously, "or I would have told you that Concussion Concoction bears a strong resemblance to acid pops."

Harry launched himself at his wife and before Ginny had a chance to defend herself she was on the floor with Harry on top, tickling her with all his might.

Ginny flailed her arms and shrieked in attempt to break free. "Oh," she managed to get out between giggles, "geroff me you horrid beast."

"Arrrr! Quiet, wench!" Harry growled playfully. "You must face the consequences of your vile treachery."

Ginny laughed harder. "Oh please, Cap'n Harry, don't make me walk the plank."

"Yes, Cap'n Harry," quipped Penelope Weasley, "It would be most unfortunate if you made Ginny walk the plank; I am in dire need of her skills right now. So if you could hold off on the plank-walking until later I would be most grateful."

Ginny and Harry left off their antics to look up guiltily. Harry blushed profusely. "Er, right then," he stammered. "I think I'll just go, er, check on the boys." He scrambled to his feet and made a hasty exit.

Ginny also stood up and tried her best to compose herself. "Well, Penny, what seems to be the – my goodness!" exclaimed Ginny, catching sight of her nephew. "How did that happen?"

One did not need Ginny's extensive medical training to discern what the problem was. Little Rowan Weasley's facial features were practically in shadow from a nose swollen to nearly twenty times its proper size.

"I dunno, Auntie Ginny. I just sneezed."

"Are you sure Will and Drew had nothing to do with this?" Ginny addressed her sister-in-law.

"No they've been in school all morning. I don't know how they could have managed this from the Hebrides."

"Well, whatever the cause, it's easy enough to fix. A simple shrinking solution should do the job. This one's been a favorite of Fred and George since they learned it in Potions second year. They found great pleasure in shrinking Percy's textbooks to the point where the writing was illegible. Plus," Ginny added, smiling at Rowan, "I just rub it on, so there's no funny taste."

Penny heaved a sigh of relief when her son's face was finally back to normal. "Is it just me, or have there been an extraordinary number of accidental magickings in this family in the past few days?"

Ginny nodded in agreement. "At this rate, I'll have to give up all my paying patients just to keep up," she smiled.

"About that," began Penny, "It really would make me feel better if…"

"Don't say another word. You know that's not the Weasley Way. If I had wanted to make money I would have taken Katie and Alicia up on the offer to be Puddlemere's team healer."

"I know, I just like to make the offer now and then. I truly appreciate all that you've done for me and –"

"Believe me, this keeps my work exciting. My other patients' problems are never as interesting as the ones my family manage."

******

"The boys in the lab found out that the mirror they were testing was Harry Potter's mirror and were scrambling to finish the tests so they could take pieces home to show their wives," proclaimed Hermione as she sat down to dinner. "Imagine what they'd have thought if they found out that Harry Potter cooks me dinner every night!"

"I bet they would be even more surprised to find out that our little Harry homemaker serves a mean kidney pie," teased Ron as he took another bite of dinner.

"And if you tell anyone that I will spread a rumor that you embroider flower doilies for fun," Harry threatened.

"But I don't make doilies and you are a homemaker."

"But who are they going to believe – me or you?"

"Would you boys be quiet and eat your dinner. If it weren't for Harry's culinary skills the whole lot of us would starve to death. You can't even boil water with magic, Ron," Ginny cut in. "Besides, I'm busy, and Harry makes a nice little wife." Harry was about to protest being called a wife, but was stilled by the adoring look Ginny flashed him.

"Yeah," added Harry Weasley, "Mum and Dad can't even make toast without burning it or getting into an argument."

"Toad, there are many things your parents can't do without getting into an argument." Before either Ron or Hermione had the chance to contradict Harry he had moved on to a new topic. "Hermione, you mentioned the mirror earlier. Did the lab finish testing it?"

"It came back clear of all traces of magic except the enchantments that are usually present on mirrors. The lab technicians did some research too and couldn't find anything that would cause such a phenomenon without creating residual traces on the mirror. Unless, of course the spell had been cast on you or Evan and not the mirror."

"Well, that just proves what I've been telling you all for years," said Ron seriously, "Harry is absolutely daft."

"I don't know, Ron. There have been some weird things happening to this family lately. After you and Hermione left this afternoon Penny came by with Rowan. His nose was so swollen the poor thing couldn't hold his head up with the weight of it."

"But accidental magic is common amongst wizarding children," rationalized Hermione.

"Hermione, I grew up with 6 brothers – MY six brothers – and we never had this many mishaps in a month, let alone a few days."

"Now that you bring it up, Gin," Ron pondered, "almost all of the children have had something odd happen in the past few days. If you include Phoenix's detention and Evan's alleged reflection the only two who've had a normal couple of days are Lily and Jack."

*hic*

The conversation was halted as the adults turned to stare at Harry Weasley.

"It wasn't me," said the younger Harry, "I think it was Jack."

Across the table Jack sat, head bent and looking rather ill. Ron crouched next to his son and stroked his hair, "Jacky, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good."

Jack looked up at his father with tears in his eyes and sniffed. He opened his palm to show Ron what was inside.

"Ron, what's the matter?" asked a worried Hermione. "All the color just went out of your face. You look as though you've just walked through a ghost."

Ron looked up, horrified, and whispered, "Slugs."

Hermione, Ginny and Harry jumped up, but before they could make it to Jack's chair he had burped up another handful of slugs.

"Ginny," Hermione panicked, "Help him. I don't think he's breathing. He's going to choke." Hermione, never one to keep her head in a crisis, had become hysterical and in the process had only managed to upset Jack more.

"Hermione!" yelled Harry. "Calm down. Look he's breathing. Remember when this happened to Ron? He was fine after a few hours and that was without treatment. Ginny will take care of Jack and have him back to normal in a few minutes."

"Right. Ginny will take care of it. Don't worry Jack, love, Auntie Ginny will make those awful slugs go away. The same thing happened to Daddy once and he's okay now." Hermione rounded on Ron. "Is this genetic? Should I expect this from all of our children?"

But Ron wasn't paying attention, preferring instead to rub his son's back comfortingly and fend off flashbacks of his own slug attack.

"This is actually a common hex," explained Ginny. "Although how it came over Jack so suddenly is beyond me. Drinking some salt water should take care of things. It doesn't taste very nice, but I'm sure Jack will agree that it's better than slugs. Will you fetch me a lot of table salt and a big glass of water please, Harry? Hermione, it's probably best if you're not here for this. Why don't you go check on Lily for us? You could have a cuddle and calm yourself down."

"Yes, that's a good idea." Hermione left the room as Harry returned with the water and salt. Ginny was just about to administer the briny liquid when a tremendous crash was heard from the nursery upstairs. Even Ron looked up, startled.

"Everything all right up there, 'Mione?" bellowed Harry. The only reply was a loud wail from Lily.

Harry and Ron were halfway to the stairs when Ginny turned to the three boys and snapped, "Don't move. Jack drink that water and try to keep the slugs in the dustbin," and flew for the stairs herself.

When she caught up Harry and Ron were standing outside the nursery. Hermione could be heard inside alternately muttering to herself and cooing to the baby.

"Hermione, beautiful, is everything alright? We heard a crash." Ron inched closer to his wife.

"Something is, something is not right. I can't, but I can see the rest of, and the light. I tried, but I knocked it, and oh god!" It became apparent that the source of the crash was golden snitch lamp that Harry had insisted sit on the nursery dressing table. "I can see now," she continued, "That I didn't need the light."

Harry, Ginny and Ron moved closer to the crib and froze. They now understood Hermione's incoherency. Lily, normally the living image of her namesake, had become pasty and pale. Her red curls had faded to white, the roses had vanished from her cheeks and her eyes were a lusterless grey. For all intents and purposes it looked as if the color had been sapped from her body.

Harry passed out for the second time that day.

Authors' Note:

This took us a long time, we know. We also know that we promised no more *hics* but there was only one, so we hope that you can forgive us. But the plot was here, as we promised and this chapter was longer. So all and all we are rather pleased with ourselves. We'd love any suggestions or comments though, as this is our first long story and we're getting rather paranoid.

Love Muffin Says:

DON'T CALL ME LOVE MUFFIN!!!

(Okay – so Love Muffin is refusing to cooperate, but deep in his soul what he wants to say is that you should review this story)