I've decided to take time out of my story to give a little insight into my version of Heero. Also, I'm assuming you all have noticed this is a bit OOC for all involved. Well, yeah, so it is, but that's allright, right? I'm trying my best! Hehehehe... Oh, and also, Aciel Skadi, I meant to say Trieze, really I did! MY BAD! Lol... Enjoy.
Reflections
I sat in my Gundam/shuttle and placed it on impulse. I was in no hurry to get to the moon colony. I began to think. I thought about the one person that I couldn't get out of my mind. Relena, Relena Dorlin. That name, gods, but it felt like a song on my lips. I thought about her, I dreamt about her, I closed my eyes and felt her. The sound of her voice, her smell, the way her eyes sparkled when she was concentrating very hard. I smiled at that one. Gods, she was gorgeous. Was that the only reason I loved her? I had never been in love before. How could I be sure of it, or of anything? I mean, I'm not even programmed to feel love. The doctors had trained all emotions out of me. Though I would never, could never, show it, it was tearing me apart. To love or not to love. I mean, Gods. I wish I could be a normal person! I wish I could love without regret, without thought! She did things to me, this girl. She tore my life apart. She made me question things that no man should question, especially not a Gundam pilot! That was another, too. Am I a man? Or am I merely a weapon? A weapon of mass destruction, fit and able to destroy her world. She knows, yet she doesn't care. She talks to me like I'm a person, a normal human being, not a trained killing machine that wouldn't think twice about destroying her or those she loved to fulfill his mission. Mission, yes, that was another thing. My mission was to kill her. Her, the girl that I thought I loved. The girl that I believed with my whole heart I loved. I would be forced to kill her. And if I refused? What then? Ah, me, this I did not know. I had never REFUSED a mission before. And what about the other pilots? Surely, they had never refused a mission before. Would I be punished? Would I be ostracized and removed from my Gundam? Did I care? I sighed and glanced out the window. Have you ever truly taken time to look at the beauty of the universe? If you never have, I suggest that you do it. It will change your life. It has inspired me, truly it has. The vastness of it all. The feeling that you are only one person in a world that can eat you up and spit you out. It's truly incredible. But, at the same time, you feel at peace. I can be lost in the crowd. I don't always have to be known wherever I went. I believe that I will be a different person. But... Not just yet. I need to find out... Well, I need to know if she has feelings for me. I don't expect them to be strong yet. And, for god's sake nowhere near as strong as mine. I need her to understand that I love her. That I would kill for her, that I would die for her. I would do anything, if it meant that she loved me. Am I becoming obsessed? Perhaps. Only time will tell, I suppose. One final thought, before I reach the colony. Relena knew my name. How did she know my name? The only ones who knew of me where those who were my enemies, and those who were my allies. She was neither, wasn't she? A simple school girl, wasn't she? I do not know, now. It seems I do not know anything, any more. Now I am at the colony. I wonder what I was called for. Oh, well. Time to put thoughts of Miss Dorlin aside, and to be ready for battle. Ah, battle, my one and only comfort in this world.
Reflections
I sat in my Gundam/shuttle and placed it on impulse. I was in no hurry to get to the moon colony. I began to think. I thought about the one person that I couldn't get out of my mind. Relena, Relena Dorlin. That name, gods, but it felt like a song on my lips. I thought about her, I dreamt about her, I closed my eyes and felt her. The sound of her voice, her smell, the way her eyes sparkled when she was concentrating very hard. I smiled at that one. Gods, she was gorgeous. Was that the only reason I loved her? I had never been in love before. How could I be sure of it, or of anything? I mean, I'm not even programmed to feel love. The doctors had trained all emotions out of me. Though I would never, could never, show it, it was tearing me apart. To love or not to love. I mean, Gods. I wish I could be a normal person! I wish I could love without regret, without thought! She did things to me, this girl. She tore my life apart. She made me question things that no man should question, especially not a Gundam pilot! That was another, too. Am I a man? Or am I merely a weapon? A weapon of mass destruction, fit and able to destroy her world. She knows, yet she doesn't care. She talks to me like I'm a person, a normal human being, not a trained killing machine that wouldn't think twice about destroying her or those she loved to fulfill his mission. Mission, yes, that was another thing. My mission was to kill her. Her, the girl that I thought I loved. The girl that I believed with my whole heart I loved. I would be forced to kill her. And if I refused? What then? Ah, me, this I did not know. I had never REFUSED a mission before. And what about the other pilots? Surely, they had never refused a mission before. Would I be punished? Would I be ostracized and removed from my Gundam? Did I care? I sighed and glanced out the window. Have you ever truly taken time to look at the beauty of the universe? If you never have, I suggest that you do it. It will change your life. It has inspired me, truly it has. The vastness of it all. The feeling that you are only one person in a world that can eat you up and spit you out. It's truly incredible. But, at the same time, you feel at peace. I can be lost in the crowd. I don't always have to be known wherever I went. I believe that I will be a different person. But... Not just yet. I need to find out... Well, I need to know if she has feelings for me. I don't expect them to be strong yet. And, for god's sake nowhere near as strong as mine. I need her to understand that I love her. That I would kill for her, that I would die for her. I would do anything, if it meant that she loved me. Am I becoming obsessed? Perhaps. Only time will tell, I suppose. One final thought, before I reach the colony. Relena knew my name. How did she know my name? The only ones who knew of me where those who were my enemies, and those who were my allies. She was neither, wasn't she? A simple school girl, wasn't she? I do not know, now. It seems I do not know anything, any more. Now I am at the colony. I wonder what I was called for. Oh, well. Time to put thoughts of Miss Dorlin aside, and to be ready for battle. Ah, battle, my one and only comfort in this world.