by Belladonna
The huge doors of
the entrance opened with a creaking sound, but the mansion was empty. It had
been a while since he had entered these halls. Logan put his bags to the floor
and breathed in heavily, he took in the air of the school he hadn't been able
to smell for a long time and his nose caught her perfume, that lingered in the
air. It made his heart beat faster and Logan felt his breathing rise. That
meant she still was here, but would her feelings towards him have changed or
did they rather stay the same? Would she be glad to see him again after all or
would it make her uncomfortable? Logan
knew that he still felt as much for her as before if not more. Jean was the
woman, his heart belonged to, the only one that ever meant something for him.
But where was she, would she ever be able to
love him the way he loved her?
~/~
I feel
something, somebody is in the house and I know exactly who it is. But is it
really him this time or another wish of my broken heart? I hope so much for
that it would be really him this time. Would he still feel the same for me like
he had once confessed? Or would that have changed over time?
I dry my
tears, he shouldn't see them I don't know if he has returned to us or to me, or
if he will stay at all. He shouldn't see my tears, I don't want him to see
them. I don't want him to know that it was because of him, I have cried.
As I am
walking down the corridor, I feel even more clearly how strong his feelings for
me are and I feel a great relief wash over me. He has returned to me because he
still feels something for me, because he still loves me. How can I deserve his
love, after all I have done to him, after how I have hurt him?
When I will
be standing in front of him, will I be able to tell him what I feel, that I
love him?
~/~
I can sense that she is still here, her perfume I
have so much longed to breathe in again, her eyes that I wished so hard for to
see them again, to loose myself in them again. She is the woman, my heart
belongs to, no matter if her feelings for me have changed or not. It would make
me the happiest man alive if they had, but I will respect her decision, any
decision she would make. How can she ever be able to love a man like me, who is
not even clear about himself? How can
she expect him to be clear about his feelings towards her? I love her, more
than anything else and that is the truth, a truth I will have to live with and
about which never anything will change, even if she will make it clear to me,
that she still doesn't feel anything for me. It will be painful but I will have
to learn to live with it, to cope with it then. But deep within me I still
harbour the silent hope, she could one day return my feelings for her.
~/~
Logan looked up
as Jean had reached the stairs. Their looks met and both of them felt their
heart beat skipping, their breathing rising. Both also felt the uncertainty
about the feelings of the respective other, Logan had his hope, she could
return his feelings and Jean was to afraid that he could feel nothing for her
or only be an illusion like before. She tried to keep her shields up just like
her inner composure as she came down the stairs, step for step.
~/~
She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my
life and at that nothing will ever change, not as long as I live. Jean will
always be the only one, my heart will belong to, beat only for her. She brings
a smile on my face and light in the darkness of my life. The thought of her
makes me smile when I am not with her. Oh, Jean, I love you more than anything
else in my life, more than I will ever love something else. Oh, if only you
could feel the same for me I feel for you.
~/~
His feelings
are so strong, so strong for me. I cannot block them out and I am catching
myself that I don't want to shut them out. His love for me is still strong like
before if not stronger. Oh, Logan, if only you would know that I feel the same
for you, feel the same for you for so long. I am so sorry, I never wanted to
hurt you, never wanted you to go and I cannot tell you how glad I am, that you
have finally returned. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have finally
returned to me and that this makes me the happiest woman in the world. Your
love fills me with joy and makes my
heart beat faster. I love you, Logan, and I hope to manage to gather the
courage to tell you this now. I love you, Logan and I hope you can return my
love.
~/~
Their glances
met, for Logan she simply was beautiful and he couldn't await to hold her in
his arms, he hoped so much, that she would want him too.
Jean came down
the stairs, hesitating, unsure of what to say, if she could do it, when she was
standing in front of him. She fought her tears that threatened to come out
again. She didn't want him to see her cry.
Logan saw the
pain in her green eyes and smelled the salty tears, that had dried on her soft
cheeks. He knew that she had cried and felt the pain too. Had she cried because
of him? He never wanted to hurt her and
it pained him deeply if he had done it. Logan vowed to never allow that again
to happen. Then she stood in front of him, her glance turned down as if she
couldn't see him in the eyes, as if she didn't dare to.
Logan felt her
hesitation and stroked her over the cheek, lifted her chin so that her eyes met
his again. Both of them didn't know how long they simply stood there like this
and said nothing, couldn't say anything because they were afraid of the answer
the other might give. In their eyes the deep feelings towards each other were
displayed, their affection and love. None of them said something out of the
fear of rejection, although both of them had made themselves clear about the
feelings they had for each other. Both of them had realized long ago, that they
loved each other and now none of them could confess this openly. They didn't
need to, for they understood each other without words.
Over them the
untold question hung that none of them would ask.
"What took
you so long?"
Logan took her
chin in both his strong hands and bowed towards her, to kiss her. As their lip
met, Jean closed her eyes and couldn't keep her tears longer from falling.
Uncontrollable they rolled down her cheeks. Logan put them away tenderly and
held her tight. Jean buried her face deep in his chest, she didn't want to let
him go, not again. None of them knew how long they held each other after their
first kiss, held each other tight. For the silent question none of them had an
answer, what was meant with it. Did it mean, how long it had taken him to
return, to become clarity about both their feelings for each other or how long
it had taken them to express them fully. When their lips met again and they
lost themselves in a deep kiss, a kiss that made them forget everything, the
uncertainty and the pain, they were united at last and nobody would set them
apart again, ever. None of them said a single word, there was no need to, deep
within them, they had long ago understood. In a love so deep and honest like
theirs, there was no need for words, they knew about the feelings of the other,
the love of the other, that went deeper than they could ever had imagined or
dared to imagine.
Over this deep
embrace and the kiss, so full of passion still hung the silent question, to
none of them had an answer or wanted to give one.
"What took you so long?"
~fin~
What took you so long?
By: Belladonna