Wufei's Last Resort
*Cut my life into pieces, I've reached my last resort*
Wufei sat in his room listening quietly to the four other pilots outside. He could here them laughing, and he could
see them smiling, the image clear in his mind. Yes, they truly were enjoying themselves - without him. But would it
have mattered anyway? He had always wanted to be alone, or at least that's what he told them. He had built this wall
of isolation around him purposefully. He didn't want them to know him, he didn't want dependence - not on him or
on others. Whether they understood him was another thing altogether, but they still left him out.
**Suffocation, no breathing, don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding**
And God it hurt. Wufei dropped his head into his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling out the hair
elastic as he did. The black, silken locks fell into his face, the pain in his head subsiding momentarily. He always
had his hair taught, distracting the pain in his mind and his memories, subsiding it, numbing it. But even now it still
hurt...
.
**Would it be wrong, would it be right? If I took my life tonight, chances are dynamite**
'Everyday is nothing but pain for me. I am not worthy of my position, I am not worthy to have the honour of the
experiences I have. Are they even aware I am in here?' He looked up once more, at the light seeping through the
crack in the door, before dropping his head again. Are they even aware I exist? Would they care if I was gone?
**Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide.**
Wufei reached for the small dagger on his table. He placed it on the pale skin of his arm, enjoying the feeling of the
cool metal and the pressure the sharp edge was imprinting. Slowly he pulled it along, savouring the action, before
pulling it away. For a moment nothing, and then in a sudden rush, a thin crimson line started to form a long his arm,
an amazing contrast to the almost white hue of his complexion.
**'Cos I'm losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine**
He stared longer, waiting for the pain to set in. He gasped out loud as it did. The pain felt so good. It relieved the
hurt in the back of his mind, from all that he couldn't stop around him, from what he couldn't achieve. 'Maybe
suicide is my only option?? Nobody would notice. Oh my God it hurts...... I just wish they'd help me.....'
**Losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine**
Someone knocked at the door. Wufei looked up. One of the other pilots? He pulled a black shirt off the floor and
wrapped it round his arm, hoping to hide the daggers mark, his future scar, another permanent reminder of his
suffering
**Nothing's alright, nothing is fine.**
Trowa looked in.
"Hey Wufei, we're all going out. you coming?
"No, I am staying here." He said calmly.
"Are you ok Wufei?" Trowa asked, concern in his voice. A million thoughts ran through Wufei's mind. Was Trowa
reaching out to him? Could he finally reveal all that he had wanted to?
"No, I'm fine." Wufei replied coldly, turning away
**I'm running and I'm crying**
Trowa shook his head and closed the door. Wufei pulled the shirt from his arm, looking at the smeared blood on
the canvas that was his skin and the stain on the fabric of his shirt.
"Did Trowa really care?" Wufei asked, as a tear slowly trickled down his face, one of the many he would continue to
hide for the rest of his life. He would never let them see him cry.
*Cut my life into pieces, I've reached my last resort*
Wufei sat in his room listening quietly to the four other pilots outside. He could here them laughing, and he could
see them smiling, the image clear in his mind. Yes, they truly were enjoying themselves - without him. But would it
have mattered anyway? He had always wanted to be alone, or at least that's what he told them. He had built this wall
of isolation around him purposefully. He didn't want them to know him, he didn't want dependence - not on him or
on others. Whether they understood him was another thing altogether, but they still left him out.
**Suffocation, no breathing, don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding**
And God it hurt. Wufei dropped his head into his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling out the hair
elastic as he did. The black, silken locks fell into his face, the pain in his head subsiding momentarily. He always
had his hair taught, distracting the pain in his mind and his memories, subsiding it, numbing it. But even now it still
hurt...
.
**Would it be wrong, would it be right? If I took my life tonight, chances are dynamite**
'Everyday is nothing but pain for me. I am not worthy of my position, I am not worthy to have the honour of the
experiences I have. Are they even aware I am in here?' He looked up once more, at the light seeping through the
crack in the door, before dropping his head again. Are they even aware I exist? Would they care if I was gone?
**Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide.**
Wufei reached for the small dagger on his table. He placed it on the pale skin of his arm, enjoying the feeling of the
cool metal and the pressure the sharp edge was imprinting. Slowly he pulled it along, savouring the action, before
pulling it away. For a moment nothing, and then in a sudden rush, a thin crimson line started to form a long his arm,
an amazing contrast to the almost white hue of his complexion.
**'Cos I'm losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine**
He stared longer, waiting for the pain to set in. He gasped out loud as it did. The pain felt so good. It relieved the
hurt in the back of his mind, from all that he couldn't stop around him, from what he couldn't achieve. 'Maybe
suicide is my only option?? Nobody would notice. Oh my God it hurts...... I just wish they'd help me.....'
**Losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine**
Someone knocked at the door. Wufei looked up. One of the other pilots? He pulled a black shirt off the floor and
wrapped it round his arm, hoping to hide the daggers mark, his future scar, another permanent reminder of his
suffering
**Nothing's alright, nothing is fine.**
Trowa looked in.
"Hey Wufei, we're all going out. you coming?
"No, I am staying here." He said calmly.
"Are you ok Wufei?" Trowa asked, concern in his voice. A million thoughts ran through Wufei's mind. Was Trowa
reaching out to him? Could he finally reveal all that he had wanted to?
"No, I'm fine." Wufei replied coldly, turning away
**I'm running and I'm crying**
Trowa shook his head and closed the door. Wufei pulled the shirt from his arm, looking at the smeared blood on
the canvas that was his skin and the stain on the fabric of his shirt.
"Did Trowa really care?" Wufei asked, as a tear slowly trickled down his face, one of the many he would continue to
hide for the rest of his life. He would never let them see him cry.