Chapter Seventeen

Butterscotch pudding. As Joey stood back, watching people mill about, admiring her work, she suddenly felt an incredible craving for butterscotch pudding. She sipped her Dom Perignon and tried to find Troy in the crowd. He was standing in the middle of a group of journalists on the other side of the room, charming them. It wouldn't be long before they were seeking her out. She was in no mood to speak to them; all she wanted was butterscotch pudding. Sighing, Joey glowered into her glass. She wasn't even sure that she liked butterscotch pudding, but she was definitely hungry now.

When she looked up again, Troy was grinning and waving her over. She wanted to beckon them over to her but knew it wouldn't look too good. Instead, Joey put on a bright smile and reluctantly went to give interviews.

Tomorrow, in dozens of art newspapers and art sections of regular newspapers, journalists and art critics would gush about Josephine Lillian Witter; how beautiful she looked in her shimmering, dark blue evening gown, how unique and emotional and inspiring and amazing her art was, and how disarmingly witty, warm and down-to-earth she was. For not only did she insist on being called by her first name from the very start, but when one journalist asked how she thought the wonderful exhibition was going herself, she replied with "It's amazing—it's rather overwhelming in fact, I kinda wish I was back home with my little girls, eating butterscotch pudding and hot dogs."

Oh, they laughed at that, but Joey was completely serious. She continued to charm them and answer most of their questions, smoothly evading the ones she felt were too personal. When she could no longer stand the hunger pangs, Joey politely excused herself and wormed her way over to the office. It was closed and locked and she peered through the open vertical blinds to see the clock mounted on the wall. Troy didn't put a clock in any of the display rooms, making it easier for visitors and patrons to get lost in the art.

Nine o'clock. She had only been there for two hours and she was ready to leave. Unenthusiastically, Joey walked back through the lobby to the rooms, her three and a half inch heels clicking sharply on the parquet, finishing her champagne. Waiters were walking around with trays of hors d'oeuvres and champagne, and she stopped one to pick up a small pastry, and another to help herself to her second glass of champagne.

"If you're going to drink, why not join me in a bourbon?" A familiar voice said from behind her as she was lifting the glass from the waiter's tray. Flooded with surprise and happiness, Joey whirled around and embraced her friend, who hadn't changed a bit since high school.

"I can't believe you're here!" She squealed, almost spilling the champagne on Jen's blond curls. She pulled away and looked down at Jen's grinning face in amazement. "What are you doing here?" Joey inquired, smiling back.

Jen gestured to herself. She was wearing leather boots, a leather jacket over a wine-colored silk blouse and a long, dark blue-flowered navy blue skirt. "Well, as you can see I didn't exactly plan on coming," she paused and pretended to glare at Joey. "I would have, had you sent me an invitation."

"I didn't invite anyone I know. I didn't even allow Bessie to come. If no one showed up to this thing it would be more embarrassing if you guys were here to witness my humiliation," she said wryly, adding as an afterthought, "And you look fine."

"Thanks. You look absolutely stunning." Jen complimented, taking in Joey's gown and her hair, which was swept up in a sophisticated style that took her twenty minutes to get right. Joey blushed a little and thanked her with a modest grin. "Where's Troy?" Jen asked, looking around the lobby.

"Off somewhere playing the perfect host." Joey answered, not even bothering to try to find him in the crowd.

"Wow, this place has come a long way since its humble beginnings." Jen said, nodding appreciatively at the high ceilings and huge multi-paned windows. "Excellent lighting. I love these windows. It looks great."

Joey nodded proudly. "Thanks," she said, leading Jen inside the main gallery and toward the bar. "So who told you about this?"

"Who do you think?" Jen asked, slipping out of her jacket and folding it over her arm.

"Not Dawson." Joey frowned. He, of course, knew about the exhibition, but she specifically told him not to tell anyone.

"Who else?" Jen snorted, not mentioning that the week before, Dawson worriedly told her everything that happened between them and Pacey, and hoped that Jen could help Joey out. Because Joey, Dawson fretted, is going to fall to pieces if she doesn't express all of her anger and hurt. "Aren't you glad I came? Look how many people showed up."

Joey groaned and lifted her glass of champagne to her lips, signaling for the bartender with her other hand. "Don't remind me. I'm two seconds away from running for the hills." She told her sardonically.

Jen ordered a double bourbon and turned to roll her eyes and at Joey. "Come on," she said with a knowing smile. "You know you love this."

"I do, but…" Joey grimaced. "I just want to get some butterscotch pudding… and I want a hot dog too, but only from the grill and where would I get that?"

Jen gave her a laughing, speculative look. "Jesus, Joey, you're not pregnant are you?" She joked, taking her drink and going into her purse to find tip money.

Joey froze, her heart slamming into her ribs. She couldn't be pregnant. She couldn't be. But how could you explain the cravings for odd food, the constant need to go to the bathroom, the nausea? She didn't think that all pregnant women actually had the trite, telltale signs, until when she was in her first few weeks of being pregnant with L.J. and got first-hand experience. She'd gone to the bathroom every ten minutes, had sudden bouts of nausea, and all she wanted was… butterscotch pudding…

Jen tipped the bartender, turned, and was alarmed to see the stricken expression on Joey's ashen face. "Joey," she said evenly, studying her with perceptive dark eyes. "Are you pregnant?"

"I… don't know." Joey whispered distantly, staring into space. Her eyes focused and she looked at Jen in alarm. "I don't know." She repeated, panicked.

"Come on," Jen said, taking down the alcohol in one shot. "We gotta go."

"But, I can't just lea—" Joey began, worriedly glancing about in every direction.

Jen took Joey's arm. "Yes you can. And you will."

Pacey walked back into the kitchen and picked up one of the few cookies that were left after they all ate. Casey and Aliya were tucked into their beds, sleeping soundly. Melanie was sitting at the island counter, waiting for him to return.

"Your kids," Melanie solemnly said when Pacey slid on to the stool next to hers, "are the most wonderful little girls on the face of the planet."

Pacey chewed a bite of the soft cookie, nodded and smiled. "Damn right." He agreed proudly, fondly thinking of his daughters.

"Casey is funny." Melanie continued, laughing, remembering some of the more outrageous things Casey had said and suggested during the course of the evening. Pacey laughed with her and nodded again.

"Yeah, she gets it from me." He chuckled.

They fell silent, and Melanie thought about Casey and Aliya, a smile on her face. Pacey finished his cookie, went to the refrigerator and got out two bottles of Dos Equis beer. He handed one to Melanie and went back for the bottle opener.

Melanie watched him slide back one of the kitchen drawers, admiring the easy grace with which he did all things. Pacey was as gorgeous as he had ever been, although he did have that Look on his face again. Maybe now he could answer the question that had been plaguing her all night. Why the hell wasn't Pacey with Joey?

At first Melanie thought that Pacey was staying home to baby-sit the girls, but Joey was having an exhibition; they would've hired a baby-sitter and gone together. Figuring that maybe art shows wasn't Pacey's thing, Melanie had been waiting for Joey to come in from the exhibition, preparing herself to finally meet her, preparing herself to watch them together without feeling nauseous and heartbroken. It was now ten o'clock and Joey was nowhere in sight. Melanie sighed and hoped, for her own sanity, that nothing had gone wrong between the two. She wanted Pacey to be deliriously happy in a relationship with Joey; that way she could completely move on.

When Pacey returned with the bottle opener and handed it to her, Melanie inquired as casually as possible, "So where are you hiding the infamous Joey Witter?"

Melanie would be inclined to think that Joey's name had no effect of Pacey at all, had there been no reflexive twitch of his fingers as he reached for the bottle opener and a hardening in his eyes. But there was, and Melanie knew that something very bad had gone on.

Pacey smiled bitterly and wrenched the cap off of his bottle of beer before lifting in a toast to her. "You're good," he said dryly, taking a long swallow of the cold drink. He stared at her thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Aren't you getting tired of helping me out with my marriage?"

Melanie suppressed a smile at his ability to see right through her 'casual' question and shrugged. "I have nothing better to do. Either help you or," she paused and grinned before repeating what Pacey once said, "read the computer with sunglasses on and a Sarah McLachlan album on repeat."

Pacey acknowledged that with a little smile and shrugged. "Fine." He finished the rest of the beer and got another one before telling Melanie what happened. "All right. After you left that morning, I went to Bessie's house to find out where she went…"

Joey sat pensively on Jen's former bed in Jen's former bedroom in her parents' downtown apartment. The Lindleys were not in attendance. They were off somewhere in Europe, Jen told her when she'd hustled her into a cab almost an hour before. They hadn't changed the locks to the penthouse apartment, and Jen told her they wouldn't mind if she and Joey borrowed the place for a while. Especially not when there were such important matters to tend to.

Was she pregnant?

Joey didn't know. She couldn't squeeze out a drop of the stuff needed to answer that question, and Jen was growing annoyed. She returned with yet another glass of ice-cold water and gave it to Joey. Sitting on the bed, Jen took a deep breath and told Joey the real reason why she was back in New York.

"How could Dawson do that?" Joey sputtered, mortified and furious. "I told him not to say anything. How could he—?"

"Joey, listen," Jen interrupted, putting a hand on her knee. "The fact that Dawson told me isn't important right now. This baby and your marriage are important."

Joey's stormy gaze flew to Jen. "My marriage wasn't all that important to Pacey now was it? And, as of now, there is no baby."

"No," Jen corrected. "There might be a baby. And you have to deal with that possibility. That possibility which," Jen told her in irritation, "would no longer be a possibility if you would just go to the bathroom already."

Joey answered by drinking some of the water and saying nothing else. She sat with her shoulders hunched, both hands holding the glass, staring morosely at the thick, blood-red carpet. Jen watched her before hesitantly asking a question that had been bugging her since Dawson told her the story. "Joey… what happened that night when you saw Pacey with that girl?"

Joey bit down on her lip and was silent for so long that Jen was about to apologize for bringing it up and let the question drop; but Joey answered her in a tense, quiet voice. She spoke evenly, her voice and expression betraying no emotion at all, which told Jen a lot. Joey face was usually very open, and since no emotion at all showed, Jen knew that what Dawson said was right. If Joey didn't let out all of the anger and frustration building up inside of her, she would fall apart.

When Joey was finished, she drank the rest of the water, and Jen nodded to herself. "So you didn't actually see him in bed with her? You just saw them sleeping on the couch and you freaked out?" Jen questioned, staring at Joey.

Joey frowned at her. "Yes," she said defensively, bristling at the subtle disapproval in Jen's voice. "They were curled up together, under a blanket. Did I need to see him rolling on a condom and sticking it to her before I 'freaked out'?" Joey voice was bitter, and Jen could see pain cracking her impassive façade, but to her credit, her voice didn't break or wobble once.

"No—Joey, I'm sorry. I—I wasn't trying to," Jen began, stuttering a little as she always did when she was caught off guard, ashamed or flustered. Joey nodded and shrugged a little before staring back down at the carpet. Jen took a moment before gently suggesting, "What if Pacey didn't actually sleep with the girl?"

Again came Joey's stormy gaze. "What?" She hissed.

"What if you were mistaken?"

Joey vehemently shook her head. "I wasn't mistaken. There was no mistaking what I saw."

"No, Joey, you're not thinking about this," Jen said, changing tack. "Look, Pacey loved you, all right? He loved you with all he had. I just don't see him sleeping with some random girl just because you ran off to spend some time with Dawson. I just can't see him doing that."

Joey's head shaking slowed, but didn't stop. "Then how do you explain the clothes on the floor? How do you explain that girl being there in the first place? I'd never seen her before in my life. And they'd been drinking. The whole den smelled of it and there was bottle of Bacardi 151 and shot glasses on the floor."

After absorbing this information, Jen asked, "Whose clothes?"

Joey looked at Jen as if she were stupid. "What?"

"Whose clothes were on the floor?" Jen elaborated.

"I guess they were the girl's." Joey answered slowly, trying to think. Although at the time her main focus was on the sleeping pair and not their surroundings, she couldn't remember seeing any of Pacey's clothes mixed up with the feminine clothing on the floor.

"Were they both undressed?" Jen asked.

Joey thought for a moment. "No. Pacey had on a tank top and the girl had on a t-shirt—his t-shirt by the way, the white one with the ripped collar."

"What about their pants?"

"I dunno, Jen, they were covered by the blanket." Joey said, suddenly wishing that they'd picked up some butterscotch pudding before they went upstairs; wishing that Jen would go away and stop questioning her and let her curl up under the covers and die.

"How were they lying together?"

Joey closed her eyes and wished that the glass in her hands would suddenly be filled with scotch. "Jen, I really don't want to dwell on this."

Joey could feel Jen's hand tightening on her knee in a squeeze of support. "I'm sorry," Jen said quietly, "but Joey, how good would it be if Pacey didn't sleep with that girl after all?"

"Come on, Jen, with the scene I described do you really think that's possible? You would think that and expect me to believe it?"

Jen glowered impatiently at her friend. "You 'come on', Joey! Do you really think Pacey would cheat on you? After all this time, I think you owe him the benefit of at least an explanation."

Joey inhaled deeply and held it.

"What if he didn't do anything with her?" Jen ventured. "What then?"

Shaking her head, Joey felt pain spreading out from her heart to fill her stomach and her head. "That would be horrible!" She burst out.

"Why?"

"Because that means I got all upset over nothing! It means he got all upset over nothing." Joey said, trying not to get distressed.

"What do you mean?"

Joey put down the glass and rubbed her face with both hands. "You know… about me and Dawson."

"But wasn't that a mistake?"

"Pacey doesn't think so." Joey told her sourly. "He wasn't in the hotel room for a full minute before he was beating the crap out of Dawson."

Jen shook her head. "All right, one thing at a time. If it comes out that Pacey didn't sleep with that girl at all, there's only one thing that we have to do to get you two back together, and settle the whole Dawson thing."

"Who says I want to get back together with him?" Joey retorted defiantly.

Jen gave her a long-suffering look. "Joey, please. Now is not the time to lie to ourselves." Before Joey could reply to that, Jen held up a hand to stop her. "How were Pacey and the girl on the couch? Just humor me for a minute."

Joey sighed and thought back to that horrible night. What if she was mistaken? All of this would entirely be her fault. She couldn't take it. But Jen had planted the seeds of doubt, and deep down Joey did want to be with him. She yearned for him, for the feel of his arms around her, his lips against hers, but most importantly, for his love. Loving and being loved by Pacey Witter were two of the most amazing things she'd ever felt in her life, and Joey longed to feel that way again. She owed it to herself to explore the possibility. But if he did in fact sleep with her, then the divorce would still go through, and that would be that.

No, Joey reminded herself, 'that' wouldn't 'be that'. There was still the possibility of the baby. Sighing, Joey realized that she had to eliminate all of these 'possibilities' and get down to the definite articles.

"They were facing each other and she had her arms around him." She answered dully.

"Were Pacey's arms around her?" Jen asked quietly.

"Yeah."

Jen winced but Joey remained expressionless. Jen sighed, nodded, and stared thoughtfully at the wall. Joey waited. "What?" Jen asked, seeing Joey's impatient stare.

"I don't see how you can come up with any other conclusion than mine."

"Just… let me think."

Joey stood up. "While you're thinking, I'll be eliminating a possibility." Joey said, heading towards Jen's bathroom.

Heart pounding in anticipation, Jen followed her to the bathroom door. "When you're done, replace the cap and set it on the counter. Don't touch it."

Joey smiled as she closed the door. "I've taken these before." Joey reminded her.

Jen sat down on the bed and waited for Joey to finish. After a moment, Joey opened the door and told Jen to come in. "We have a minute to wait." Joey said, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet.

Jen nodded and sat on the edge of the counter, staring down at the pregnancy test. If a plus appeared, Joey would be pregnant; which was why it was important to know the truth of what happened that night. "Here's what I think." Jen told her. "And I'm just trying to help you, all right? I love you both and I don't want you two to get a divorce. So hear me out, okay?"

Joey nodded and swallowed hard, waiting for Jen to continue. "I think that whoever the girl was—she was only a friend. I think that Pacey needed someone to talk to. If I understand correctly, you and Pacey were having fights, so you went to Dawson's for two weeks to figure things out. And before you and Pacey could talk, you slept together. And after that, you ran off, scared. Right?"

Joey nodded again.

"Right," Jen said to herself. "So I think that in that time, Pacey found himself a friend to talk to. He was probably beside himself for those two weeks when you were with Dawson, wondering why you left him, wondering when you were coming back. And once you came back you were both thrown off by sleeping together. So he was probably thinking that everything was going to be okay, but when he wakes up you're gone. So again, he's panicked and he goes to this girl and he talks to her and they get drunk and they pass out on the couch. As for the clothes on the floor, you say she had on a t-shirt right? Was the heat on in the house?"

Joey shrugged. "I can't remember. It was raining, so it probably was…" She trailed off and shrugged again.

Jen's face lit up. "Maybe that's why," she speculated. "Maybe her clothes got wet and he lent her some of his. And maybe he forgot to put them in the dryer. When you're drunk, you tend to forget a thing like that."

Joey shook her head doubtfully. "That's a lot of maybes, Detective."

Jen shrugged. "It makes sense. Think about it. If he was sleeping with her, why wouldn't he go to your bedroom and close the door? In fact, why would he have her in your house at all? Pacey wouldn't be that indiscreet around the girls."

Joey knew she was right about that so she nodded, sighed and gestured to the pregnancy test. "Did it come out yet?"

Jen looked down at the test and smiled at Joey. "Well, there's one 'maybe' that's no more," Jen said, picking up the test and passing it to Joey. Joey's eyes widened and Jen spoke aloud what the test confirmed. "You're pregnant."