AUTHOR: tam
E-MAIL: onetruelady21@yahoo.com
FEEDBACK: Yesssssss Please!!!!
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere just e-mail me and let me know first.
SPOILERS: Lover's Walk
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Only Borrowing from Joss, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. I'm not making any profit from this story.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the second story of my Memories series. You don't have to read the first story to understand this one, however. They are all stand alones.
TIMELINE: Takes place between "Lover's Walk" & "The Wish"
THANKS: Huge thanks to Chrissy for her excellent beta reading skills. Thanks for catching all the little mistakes I always miss.
SUMMARY: Dawn wants to know about love.
Dawn let's you Willow and me have a Girls Day. Dawn it'll be so much fun. Dawn how about I'm a big fat liar and this day sucks beyond belief. So much for all the fun that was suppose to happen today. Buffy and Willow are being so distant and depressing that I would probably had more fun shopping for new towels with Mom. But I'm stuck here watching the Depressing Duo stare into their melting bowls of ice cream.
I've been talking to whole time, but I don't think either one of them has heard a thing I've said. I am so out of here. I can't take it anymore.
"I'm going home." I grab my jacket and stalk out of the ice cream parlor in what I hope is a very ticked off way. It must have been because soon Buffy and Willow catch up to me.
"Dawnie what's wrong?" Willow asks with concern.
"Nothing." I say and continue to walk away from them.
"Dawn Elizabeth Summers stop right now." I turn around and look at Buffy with her hands on her hips and that big sister glare.
"Sorry Buff I'm not your possession you can't tell me what to do."
"Okay then I'll tell Mom that you are going off by yourself, and you know how that's not allowed."
"You wouldn't." I narrow my eyes and mimic her with my hands on my hips.
"Would." She says as she steps closer to me. She could be bluffing, but I don't want to take a chance. Ever since Mom found out Buffy was the slayer she's been extra protective of me. I'd be in big trouble if she finds out I tried to go off by myself.
"Fine then, but can't we at least do something interesting. You and Willow are not being very fun today."
She and Willow share a guilty look. Good. They should feel guilty.
"Sorry Dawn that you had to sit through our sulky mood. We're having major issues right now, but that shouldn't affect you."
"Yeah maybe we could have Girls Day next week when we're not feeling so sorry for ourselves." Willow tries to say that with enthusiasm but its not working.
"Yeah maybe." I mumble.
"Look we still have a couple more hours being nightfall. Let's go over to the park and just chill and talk." Buffy grabs my hand and pulls me to park. Willow is right behind us. They're trying to be happy for my sake, but I can see it in their eyes that they are very far from happy.
Once at the park, we lay down in the grass. Trees and bushes surround us. We're in our own little hidden sanctuary. I point up to the sky. "You know that cloud right there looks like my English teacher, Mr. Roberson."
A hear a small laugh to the right of me. "Yeah it kinda does." Willow says. "Xander and I were in his class. He would always play practical jokes on him. He wanted me to help him out. I refused everytime, but once." I turn my head to look at Willow. Her eyes are closed and small smile is on her lips. This is the first time she looked even remotely happy all day. "And of course that's the one time he got caught. He blamed me and I blamed him. I said he was always getting me in trouble. It was always hard to say no to Xander. Always hard to resist him. Some things never change." That last sentence was last so softly I hardly heard her.
"And some things forever remain the same." Buffy says from her spot by the tree. "You think things are changing, and you can finally move on with your life, but you find out that things are exactly the same and you can't move on, but your life can't possibly remain the same or you'll lose your sanity. Then you come to the ultimate realization: it so sucks to be you."
"Tell me about it." Pipes up Willow. I have no idea what those two are talking about, but whatever it is I think its what has them so down.
"But you always have to ability to change your life." I say with my sixth grade wisdom. Both Buffy and Willow look at me.
"Not your love life." Says Willow with a sigh. "You think finally everything is perfect, but then something comes along like a bat out of hell to mess up your perfection. Oh and uh no pun attended."
"Love is never predictable; it can change at any given second, and screw up your life forever. You can go to sleep with the love story of your dreams, and wake up to your worst nightmare." Buffy's voice cracks at end. I know what she's talking about now, Angel. He's the only one that can get her into this type of mood.
Willow reaches out and pats Buffy's shoulder. "Aw Buffy who knows what can happen in the future. Hey maybe we can find a cure for the curse one-day. It can happen."
"Willow, my always optimist best friend. Been there, done that. Remember? It was miracle enough that you were able to re-curse him. I think finding a cure for it would be just too good to be true. Besides you're hurting just as much as I am. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay. Eventually."
I'm just laying here with my eyes closed listening attentively. They never talk about this sort of thing around me, and I'm not about to ruin it by drawing attention to myself. I want to hear everything.
"I don't know how you're doing it Buffy. Every time I close my eyes all I see is Oz's face when he found us. Of course he had to same look he always has, but I know that was hurt there, very deep hurt. And you know how when you love someone so much when they hurt you hurt?" Buffy just nods slightly. "Well that's how I feel about Oz. But its a hundred times worst because I'm the cause of his pain. And I feel guilty when I'm around Xander because I feel like I'm betraying Oz all over again, but Xander's my best friend how can I not be around him? It's all so complicated. It's like having two puppies and kicking one while playing with the other and you didn't mean to hurt the puppy but you did anyway. And this is a very bad analogy, but you know what I mean." She sounds out of breath after that. Willow's always babbles a lot when she's emotional.
"I feel you Will."
"We suck at love."
"We're the worst. Hey maybe we should start a club. The Love Suckers. Although that kinda sounds like something a hellmouthy demon would do. Instead of blood its sucks all of the love out of you." They both let out a sad pitiful laugh. Okay they are starting to depress me. I really don't look forward to love now. Every example I have of love seems to turn out bad. Mom and Dad. Buffy and Angel. Xander and Cordelia. I'm not too upset about them breaking up though. Now Willow and Oz are no longer together. I thought those two would never break up. I'm just starting to like boys. If it ends up like this I rather just go back when I thought boys were gross and had cooties.
"Does love always have to be bad?" I ask after a few minutes of quietness.
"Aw Dawnie don't let us bitter old women steer you away from love." Willow says as she moves closer and puts her arm around me. "Love is a beautiful thing. It can be the best feeling in the world, and it doesn't always have to end badly."
Buffy comes moves closer to me too. "That's right. There were many good times with Angel. I'll always have those special memories and mementos from our time together."
Well, this was more like it. They were starting to really scare me with all of this depressing talk. I was almost ready to give Bobby Martin the fake jade necklace he gave me back, but I'll hold on to it for now. Who knows, maybe it'll hold a nice memory for me one day. That's if Xander and I never get married of course. I'm still holding out for that.
"Come on guys lets go." Buffy pulls both Willow and me to our feet. "Its getting late, and I have to go talk to Giles before patrol tonight."
We walk back home in comfortable silence. Each of us lost in our own thoughts.
"So are you guys moving on now? You know with new boyfriends. Oh and Buffy if you do please pick someone better than Scott."
She laughs and gives me a mock slap on the arm. "I think I'm going to stay single for now. If I rush into something like I did with Scott it'll probably end up the same way."
I turn to Willow. "And you?"
"Well, I'm hoping there's still a chance for Oz and me. He's the only guy I can imagine myself with. If we don't get together well maybe I can play for the other team." She smirks and winks and Buffy. Then they both crack up.
"Oh yeah like that'll ever happen Will." I'll have to agree with Buffy on this one. We all know Willow sucks at sports.