Disclaimer: I own nothing. The Mighty Joss and Company, WB, and Mutant Enemy, AARGH, own all.
Ms. Spears owns herself. I'm just a poor writer, so please don't sue.
Spoilers: None that I know of—probably set in Season 4 or early Season 5
Rated G , just for fun.
Borrow it if you like, just let me know where it's going so I can visit.
This is my first entry into writing fan fiction, so be kind. It just came to me one night and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. My daughter beta-ed it for me. She says I'm obsessed. Mwa-haa-haa.
Oops, I Did It Again
Part 1
"Willow, for the last time, I'm not angry at you. But we simply must figure out how this happened. You're quite certain you weren't using magic?"
Giles' glasses lay where he'd just flung them atop Willow's dorm room desk. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to stem the headache that was beginning to build there. It was bad enough that his Slayer didn't find it necessary to follow his instructions, but she'd come to him complete with an array of strange friends, all with their own eccentricities. Among them, Willow required the majority of his attention since discovering her latent powers as a witch. And something was always going wrong with her spells necessitating his help to reverse the chaos her magiks left behind. At best, even with Tara's calming influence, her spells still seemed a bit off kilter. She lacked focus, as he kept reminding her.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Giles glanced sideways to the petite blonde who's gold-booted foot was rhythmically kicking the leg of the other dorm desk. To make matters rather worse, his headache was now beginning to throb in time with the banging foot.
"Could you please cease that activity, young lady? Now, Willow, are you absolutely certain that you didn't try some magic in here? We simply must get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. You must understand, people are going to realize that she's missing rather soon. Now, where were you before all this started?"
"I, I, er, I was just sitting here on the rug reading this magazine," Willow indicated a cheap teen music rag, " and I was thinking how much she and Buffy look alike and how pretty they are and how I could never look really good as a blonde and I'm babbling again. I'll shut up now."
"Willow, where exactly did you say you were sitting?"
Willow indicated the throw rug, which Giles leaned over and flipped aside to reveal the not so faded pentagram he knew the young witches had previously chalked onto the floor. No candles were present, but the afternoon sun was streaming in through the window and bouncing off the mirror across the room. The beam of light scattered into dancing rainbows across the floor and the now revealed pentagram. The path of the late afternoon sun was directed from the mirror through a number of crystals that Willow had hanging from the ceiling.
"Oops," Willow squeaked as she really took in the scene for the first time.
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Gum popping had evidently supplanted table kicking as a torture device. " Really, Miss, must you be so annoying?" Giles decided to let Ripper handle this irritation and he fixed her with his best Ripper glare. Evidently she wasn't as thick as she looked because she had the good sense to swallow her gum.
"By the way, where is Buffy right now, Willow?"
"Well, she said she'd be going to Riley's frat house after her last class today. Do you want me to call…" The ringing phone cut her off mid-sentence and Willow picked it up.
"Hello, Buffy! I was just telling Giles that I could call you at Riley's. Oh, you're not. You're where? Oh, no! Oops, yeah, I guess I did it again. Ah, yeah, okay here's Giles." She handed him off the phone and sat down amidst the mini rainbows, looking completely dejected.
After a few minutes on the phone, Giles rang off with a promise to correct the situation with all due haste.
"Where did she say she was in Florida, Giles?" Willow asked sheepishly.
"Ah, that would be DisneyWorld. I have a gig there at 8pm. As in Tonight. As in Less than 4 Hours from now! " The female belonging to the gold boot spoke up finally. Then she began kicking the desk leg again, only louder this time.
Giles bent over and put his face into his hands, shaking it from side to side. Why me? I've tried so hard to be a good Watcher? I rarely loose my temper at them. No ones' been killed or badly injured on my watch. Well, except for that time Buffy sent Angel to Hell, but that couldn't count. He was already 'Dead'. This must be my punishment for my Ripper days.
Giles retrieved his glasses and looked up at the two young faces closely watching him. "Come along, then, girls. We'll need my books for some glamour spells to cover everything until we can find out how to reverse this and send Miss Spears back to where she belongs." Reaching into his tweed jacket pocket, he tossed Willow his cell phone. " Willow, please call Tara and have her meet us at the store. We may need her help if we can find a transport spell."
Part 2
Giles hung up the phone at the Magic Box and looked over towards Willow, Tara, and the newest member of the Slayerettes. Anya, never easily impressed unless it was something pertaining to sex and/or Xander, stood in the doorway to Buffy's workout room with her mouth hanging open. They'd entered the store through the rear and Giles had instructed Anya to close up early to prevent curiosity seekers from finding out their guest's identity.
"Buffy said the 'glamour spell' worked well enough that the make-up artist called her "Miss Spears" when she walked through just now," Giles reported "We simply must find a transport spell now to get Ms. Spears back where she belongs before tonight's concert."
" Concert? Is Buffy going to be in a concert? But Giles you know Buffy can't sing! She couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, not if her life depended on it, not for all the rice in China, not even if it was a Blue Moon…" the ever-helpful ex-demon piped in.
"Please, Anya, we get the picture. Have you locate my headache tablets yet?"
"No, but Zander is getting you some at that store where sick people go. You know the one where we buy the rubber things that Zander insists we use to prevent procreation. He will be here soon. He was so excited to be able to meet this singer person when I told him her name. I hope he stays this excited when we go home tonight. I could pretend to be a blonde teenage singer. Say, can I borrow your clothes if you don't leave tonight?" Anya addressed the person in question.
"Anya, you *Did Not * tell Zander, did you? I told you not to broadcast this to anyone!" Giles was now having trouble focusing his eyes. The pain had settled behind his right eye now and was throbbing in synchrony to: Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. The 'singer person' was now cracking her knuckles, one at a time, slowly, up and down each row of digits. Giles thought that if he couldn't find a transport spell and soon, he might just have to resort to letting Ripper rid him of this embodiment of nonstop pain and annoyance.
"Giles, look, I think I've found something," Tara pointed to a spell in one of the newer volumes he kept for research in the Magic Box. "It's relatively simple, but we need to get back to the dorm, where the spell originated, and we'll need a light source. I'll go grab some candles out front. Willow, honey, you get everyone out in the car. Anya, you wait for Zander and then bring Giles' medicine to our dorm, okay."
Part 3
The candles were carefully placed on the points of the pentagram. The gold-outfitted object of their attention sat watchfully in the center of the pentagram. Willow sat next to her with the magazine in her lap, her hands keeping busy ringing themselves.
Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.
"All right, which one of you gave her more gum?"
"Giles, please don't shout. It's not gum. She's snapping her fingers now," a teary-eyed Willow explained.
"Zander, call Buffy's cell phone and make sure she's back into the position she was in when she landed there." Tara had clearly taken over since Giles' migraine was now into the too dizzy to walk, think, or focus stage.
Far all his excitement at meeting a star, Zander's ex-demon girlfriend was no longer at all pleased with the situation. Zander was practically drooling and acting like those mortals she had so often cursed for their infidelity in her former life as a vengeance demon. Anya snatched the cell phone from his hand and hit speed dial to Buffy's phone number.
"Are you ready, Buffy? Yeah, everything's done from this end. Giles is to the yelling stage now so we told him to go lie down. Yeah, another migraine. Yeah, we told her no more magic without supervision. Yeah, Zander's drooling. Yeah, no nookie tonight. OK, see you soon, * we hope.* Bye. She's ready, you can start now."
Tara took up a match and lit the candles, one of each color to represent the prism light that had existed earlier in the room. "Spirit of the Light, hear my plea. Spirit of the Firmament, hear my plea. Spirit of the Wind, join and send forth your power. Return these beings to their rightful places. As we speak it, so mote it be!"
There was a sudden flash of colored lights and the crystals clanged together madly with the gust of wind that swept the room. Willow sat alone in the center of the pentagram. Zander's cell phone rang just as everyone was realizing that the singer was gone, but that Buffy was not back in her place.
Anya still had the phone and answered it. " She got there okay? Yeah, well I figured something more had just had to happen. This has just not been a good day for Magiks. Yeah, her gold outfit IS still here, now that you mention it. Giles is kinda wearing it now and moaning really loudly. His skin looks kind of pale green but his eyes are really red, like one of those Mokthra demons you killed last month."
"Buffy says the nice singer girl is sending her home tomorrow, first class, on an airplane and she wants to talk to ME!" Anya told the group. "Yeah, uh huh, okay, I'll tell them."
Anya looked out at the remaining Scoobies and the Watcher before she spoke. "Brittney said she didn't think we should play around with any more magiks today. And, Giles, she said that you could keep her costume. She'll send your clothes and glasses home with Buffy in the morning. She also said that her song, Oops, I Did It Again, has taken on a whole new meaning to her after tonight, Willow. Giles, sometime can Xander and I borrow your costume after you're through with it?"
Xander slapped his hand across Anya's mouth and began dragging her towards the hallway door as colorful muffled curses could be heard coming from the direction of the dormitory bed. Tara quickly covered Giles with one of her quilts and turned to the Scoobies. "Anyone up for a really looooong evening at the Bronze?" They turned as one and fled the room as if the Hellgate had just opened at their heels.