Unresolved
(Part I)
by Quelirain
Quatre laughed as he spun by in the arms of the tall green-eyed pilot. "Wufei, come on!" he called, bright blue eyes sparkling.
Wufei smiled as he leaned against the wall underneath a potted tree, observing the ball-gowned women and the tuxedoed men as they bounced and twirled in time to the quartet playing a jazzy version of "Silver Bells." A hum of conversation and good will lay underneath the music.
"Quatre certainly knows how to throw a party." Wufei turned and found himself the object of a prussian blue gaze, its owner offering a glass of punch.
"He certainly does," Wufei replied, reaching for the glass. Before handing it to him, Heero leaned over and dropped a quick kiss on Wufei's lips. Heat rose in his cheeks. Heero laughed, then kissed him again, this time more thoroughly. By the time Heero finished, Wufei had to lean against the wall for support, his face bright red as he mumbled about the injustice of it all.
Getting Heero to change from the emotionless soldier to the affectionate man who stood before Wufei had taken over five years, but Wufei couldn't take the credit for the amazing changes in Heero since the war. Inevitably, his mind floated toward a certain braided boy, but he was distracted by the appearance of the other person who'd helped build Heero's future.
"Heero, Wufei!" Relena called gaily as she strode over to them. Her long blonde hair had been curled into ringlets and stood out against her dark green gown. As she came closer, she whispered, "Could you two hide me for a few minutes?"
Heero laughed, and Wufei relished the sound. "Mission accepted." Heero pulled over a chair.
"I can't believe these people want to conduct business tonight. It's Quatre's Christmas party, for heaven's sake. Didn't they read their invitations?" Relena sat, slipped off her shoes and rubbed her feet. "Not to mention that I can't even sneak off for a dance with anyone *I'd* like to see."
As if to prove her point, a shorter man with graying hair and a beer belly approached where Relena was sitting. "Miss Peacecraft, if I may, would you care to dance?"
"I'm sorry, Prime Minister," Heero replied, "but Miss Peacecraft has already promised me the next few dances." The prime minister looked as if he wanted to protest, but a single steely glint from those prussian eyes was enough to make him reconsider.
"Perhaps later then." The older man walked briskly back into the crowd, chased by Wufei and Relena's laughter.
"Was it something I said?" Heero asked innocently, taking Relena's hand and leading her to the dance floor. Wufei watched them disappear into the crowd. He hadn't liked Relena at first, but after the war—or more accurately, after Relena and Heero's relationship hadn't worked out—he'd come to appreciate her, if only for what she'd done for Heero. She meant a lot to the former pilot of Wing Gundam, and if Heero cared that deeply about her thenthere was no way Wufei couldn't care.
Anyway, she would keep Heero from making *him* dance.
***
"There they go," Trowa whispered to Quatre as they passed Heero and Relena on the dance floor. Relena was laughing at something Heero had said as he gallantly spun her around.
"Hmm, Wufei got lucky—you know how he hates to dance." Quatre rested his head on Trowa's shoulder as a quiet rendition of "O Holy Night" began. They swayed in silence.
"You're thinking about Duo," Trowa said suddenly.
Quatre sometimes wished that Trowa didn't have that uncanny ability to read him. "He needs to take some time off, get away for a while. I don't think he's left L-2 since the orphanage opened."
"He's dedicated," Trowa observed.
"More like obsessive. He'll burn himself out at this rate." Smiling wistfully, Quatre added, "I just want him to be happy."
Trowa frowned. "He's not?"
"Hilde left him," Quatre said bluntly. "I got a change-of-address from her this morning. She's gone to Earth."
Trowa's single visible eye registered surprise. "..."
"I don't know why she left... I wish I did. They seemed so happy together. I left Duo a message, but he hasn't responded." He felt a familiar sting in his eyes. "I just want him to be happy, that's all."
He felt Trowa's arms tighten around him. "He will be, little one. He just needs some time." Trowa rested his head on Quatre's, and the smaller blonde boy snuggled closer.
"I'm worried, Trowa. Duo hates to be alone, you know that."
Trowa reassuringly rubbed his hand over Quatre's back. "Call Duo in the morning and see if he'll consider coming out for a few days. Or maybe we could go visit him—Wufei might like to go along, he and Duo keep in touch."
"What about Heero?" Quatre's eyes were worried. "I hope they worked things out, but you know those two, they were never very good at that."
Trowa paused before answering. "Let him decide."
Quatre nodded slowly. "Dance me over to Wufei, and I'll ask him."
Trowa obediently eased his partner through the throng of people to the corner where Wufei stood. "Wufei, may I have this dance?" Quatre asked sweetly.
Wufei rolled his eyes, but Quatre reached over and grabbed his wrist before he could say anything. Trowa laughed at the look of horror on Wufei's face as Quatre dragged him back into the crowd, his cry of "Injustice!" lost in the music.
***
Heero and Relena chuckled as Quatre dragged Wufei into the midst of the people and disappeared. "I remember when you did that to me," Heero said.
" 'Omae o korosu,' " Relena mimicked. "But you did dance—and quite well, I might add."
"Duo taught me." Heero spun her around, but not before she saw the telltale flicker in his eyes at the mention of Duo.
"You still haven't talked to him?" she asked quietly. Heero shook his head. Relena looked up into his face, seeing the silent mask that both she and Duo had worked so hard to remove slip down over Heero's features.
"It's nothing." Heero's eyes were cold now. Relena silently placed her hand on Heero's cheek and gazed unflinchingly into his eyes. After a moment, he allowed her to see his pain, then closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Relena."
She shook her head. "Even if things didn't work out for us, I still want you to be happy. You were never happy when you were the perfect soldier."
His smile was bittersweet. "I miss him."
"I know. I do too." Relena closed her eyes. There had been a lot of pain for everyone involved when she started dating Heero. It had gotten to the point where Duo had stopped speaking to her and wouldn't tell her why; she later learned from Quatre that Heero and Duo had broken up shortly before Relena and Heero made their appearance at the Christmas party.
"I didn't make it easy for him." Relena looked up in surprise. Heero was gazing off into space.
"Blaming yourself doesn't help anything, Heero."
Heero smiled again, that bittersweet smile. "I know."
Relena watched as a taller, distinguished-looking gentleman with steel gray hair and green eyes tapped Heero on the shoulder. "May I cut in, Miss Peacecraft?" he asked. Relena glanced at Heero.
"No, you may not," Heero replied as he swiftly swung Relena further into the crowd.
"Heero," Relena whispered, "that was Ambassador McNeal."
"Who?"
"The leading non-political representative from L-4." Heero showed no signs of recognizing the name. Relena laughed. "Oh, it doesn't matter. I'd rather be with you than with some stuffy diplomat." Smiling, she looked at Heero. "Do you remember the last time we danced?'
They swayed in silence for a moment, lost in thought.
Relena rested her head on Heero's shoulder. It felt so good to be in his arms. It still seemed like a miracle that he'd finally come to her, and miracles weren't something to take for granted. And now, with Heero's arms around her, close enough to feel him breathe—sometimes she still thought she was dreaming. With a sigh, she moved closer, pressing herself against him...
"Relena." She looked up into his eyes, fell into them. His eyes sparkled now, no longer sealing out the world. Relena doubted Heero would ever have inviting eyes, but this...this was enough.
He bent his head down and kissed her.
Oh, this definitely was no dream.
Relena pushed up just enough to kiss Heero on the cheek. He turned to her, surprised. "What was that for?"
"For being my friend."
Heero grazed her cheek with his hand. "I'll always be your friend."
"So will Duo." Heero flinched, but Relena pressed on. "He will always love you, just like I will. Remember how hard you tried to forget Duo? It didn't work. It never will. Duo will always be with you, whether you want him there or not."
Lightly, Heero asked, "Why are we talking about Duo?"
"You two were good for each other," Relena replied. "Good friends are hard to find, and harder to keep. You should call him."
"Is something wrong with Duo? Have you talked to him?"
"Not exactly," Relena said, a little guiltily. "But I think Hilde left him. She's moved to Earth and doesn't have plans to go back to L-2."
Heero's eyes darkened again. "Duo's whole life is on L-2."
"I know." Looking down, Relena said, "That's why you should call him. He needs a friend, and you're the best one he's had."
"I—"
"It's been too long already," Relena interrupted. "Call him." The music changed, and Relena felt a tap on her shoulder. A tall, slender blonde with sharp features stood behind her. "Hello, Milliardo."
"Evening, Relena, Heero." Looking at Relena, he said, "I was hoping to catch you. You've got a crowd of diplomats wanting to talk with you, but they seemed reluctant to ask you for a dance."
"Mission accomplished," Heero whispered to Relena. She giggled.
Milliardo gave them both a strange look. "Well, Relena, if you're done scaring the politicians..."
Relena sighed. "Yes, I'm coming. I'll see you later, Heero." She followed Milliardo into the crowd.
***
Heero scanned the crowd for Wufei. He was still dancing with Quatre and seemed to be enjoying himself. Trowa and Rashid sat at a table with Sally Po and another woman Heero recognized from the Preventers' offices. And Relena was once again being passed around the dance floor.
Heero slipped out of the main room and down the hallway to the room he shared with Wufei, thinking of Duo. The braided baka never liked being alone with his thoughts, so he'd always found some way to get attention—especially ways to get Heero's attention.
"Hee-chan?" Duo called from the bed, "How many games of Tetris have you played tonight?"
"Hn."
"That many?"
"..."
"Well, if it's not going well, turn it off!"
"Hn." He continued tapping away.
Heero closed his eyes. He remembered the time Duo had used that line. He steeled himself for the memory, knowing that it was too late to stop it from coming.
Heero slipped into the bed next to Duo, then ran a gentle hand over his bare back. Duo sighed quietly, but didn't say anything, so Heero curled up beside him and closed his eyes.
Late that night, Heero was awakened by slight motions of the bed beneath him and turned to see just what Duo was up to at this hour. The long-haired pilot was lying on his stomach, his face buried in his pillow. Heero was up enough nights watching the sleeping face of his lover to know that Duo never slept on his stomach.
"Duo?" he asked, worried that the other boy was having trouble breathing. When he didn't receive a response, Heero reached over to evaluate the situation.
"Don't you fucking touch me," Duo hissed, his voice rich with emotion. "You just keep your fucking hands to your fucking self."
Ignoring his lover's command, Heero grabbed Duo firmly and turned him over, then released him once he saw the tears streaming down Duo's face to the wet pillow below. Surprised, he asked again, "Duo?"
The tears fell harder. "You goddamn son of a bitch."
"What?"
"You heard me." Duo met Heero's eyes without blinking, and added, "But I still love you. Why do I still fucking love you?"
Heero didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing that almost always had soothed Duo. He had leaned forward and kissed him, caressed him, had tried to show him the words that Heero couldn't say.
"No."
Heero stopped. Duo regarded him sadly.
"You can't just pleasure my pain away, Heero. I won't let you make me, or sex, that simple."
"What do you mean?"
Duo flipped his pillow and turned away from Heero. "You figure it out. I'm sure it's all explained in your laptop somewhere."
Heero stared at his lover's back in confusion, then said, "Mission accepted." He rose and began research immediately.
He'd searched for the answer, combining live observation of other couples with psychological research. It had taken him a month, between missions, before he'd figured out that the questions were a request for attention. The night after he'd found the answer, he'd asked Duo why he didn't just ask for what he wanted. Duo had laughed, but he'd never answered. Instead, he'd made love to Heero with an ardency that drove Heero over the edge again and again.
Duo had been incredibly patient with Heero as he'd struggled to find himself after the war. He'd been there with a joke, or a story, or just love—a cross between court jester and therapist.
But now Duo was alone.
//What could it hurt to call him? I owe Duo at least that much.// Heero reasoned. //Mission accepted.// He punched in a combination of letters and numbers, then waited for someone to pick up on the other end.
***
The phone rang insistently, each tone burning a path through Duo's head. He took another swig out the bottle of vodka, and the burning followed it down to his stomach.
//It could be Hilde,// he reasoned. //When did she leave?// Duo's clouded mind figured it had been at least three days. Too soon to talk to her. Nothing would change if he did; he didn't love her, couldn't love her, and she wouldn't stay without love.
//It could be Quatre again,// he thought. But Duo didn't move, he just studied the phone and took another gulp of vodka. //No point in worrying Quatre by answering the phone in a semi-stupor.//
Duo let his mind wander to more of the usual suspects. He doubted Trowa knew *how* to use a phone. And Wufei wouldn't invade on Duo's privacy, if that's what he wanted. It would not be justice.
//Who else could it be?// Duo wondered. He laughed as another vision of blonde hair and blue eyes swirled in front of him. //Relena.// He took a healthy gulp of alcohol for that one.
Relena, who'd been so damned determined to get Heero and Duo back to being friends. Relena, who had called and called and called until he'd convinced her that he was over Heero, and everything was fine. Of course, he hadn't been able to convince her of that until he'd started dating Hilde...
//...Hilde...//
He drowned the name with another shot of vodka. The bottle was getting uncomfortably light.
Which left...Heero himself as the mystery caller.
Duo swallowed the rest of the vodka, then padded off to the kitchen for something stronger. He would need it to even contemplate that idea.
***
No answer.
Heero let the phone ring for a good five minutes before disconnecting, letting his heart rate return to normal. He'd been just as nervous that Duo would answer as that he wouldn't.
"Heero?" Wufei stood in the doorway to their bedroom. "Is everything all right?"
"Fine, Wu." Heero admired the cut of Wufei's black silk suit, wondering how badly it would wrinkle if he—
"Injustice," Wufei growled as Heero's eyes raked over him appreciatively. Heero shrugged good-naturedly. "Relena needs you to fend off some more politicians. She made me promise to come right back," he added, his face turning pink.
"Little hentai."
"Who, me or Relena?"
"Hn." Heero stood.
"Oh, and Quatre suggested we visit Duo on L-2 after the dinner tomorrow. He figures if Duo can't come to us, we'll go to him." Wufei said casually.
Heero blinked, surprised. Neither of them discussed his relationship with Duo with the other. It was a topic that Heero preferred to avoid and Wufei never brought up. He didn't mind that Wufei and Duo were friendly, and if Wufei had said he wanted to go, Heero wouldn't have complained—but he probably wouldn't go, either.
Yet Wufei hadn't said he wanted to go. He had asked tentatively, using the inclusive "we" that implied if Heero didn't go, neither would Wufei.
"Do you want to go?" Heero asked.
"If you'd like." Wufei leaned on the door frame.
Heero studied the smooth lines of Wufei's face. Time hadn't really aged him, just ripened him. His lashes were long, his features delicate, and his slender frame showed a little less muscle than it had during the war. But tonight, his eyes ruined the illusion of youth; they were dark and pensive, closed off, making him almost impossible to read, even for Heero.
"Wufei." Wufei looked up at Heero, avoiding his stare. Heero walked over to Wufei and gently forced their eyes to meet. "Do you want to go?"
Wufei held Heero's eyes for a moment, then stared at the floor. "I really did tell Relena we'd be right back."
"She can wait." Heero grasped his lover's chin again, pulling his reluctant eyes upward. "Fei, what's wrong? Why won't you answer me?"
Wufei closed his eyes, then opened them again. "We... we've never talked about Duo, but every time he comes up in a conversation, you tense up. Your eyes get so cold, and you start to remind me of the Heero I knew during the war." Wufei reached up and gently brushed Heero's cheek. "I accept that part of you; but I don't want to lose who you are now to it."
"Mission accepted." Heero leaned down and kissed the worried look off Wufei's face. "You won't lose me. We'll go and see Duo. It'll be nice after all this time to see him again." Wufei smiled, then blushed. "What?"
"Relena," he mumbled sheepishly.
"Relena," Heero agreed. They walked out of the bedroom together.
***
Trowa supported Quatre as said goodbye to the guests. Once the last couple had gotten into their waiting car, Trowa swept Quatre into his arms, bride-over-the-threshold style.
"Trowa, what..."
"To bed." Quatre rested his head against Trowa's chest as they made their way up the stairs to their suite of rooms. It was delightful to float in the haze between sleep and wakefulness as Trowa gently laid him on the bed and began tugging at Quatre's shoes and socks. Quatre relaxed, enjoying the sensation.
Trowa moved upward to ease Quatre out of his jacket and shirt, taking a moment to nibble his ear. "Mmmm, Trowa..." Quatre sighed. "I love this...and I love you...but I'm too tired to do anything tonight but sleep."
"..." Trowa worked light kisses across Quatre's face to his mouth, then slid down to undo Quatre's pants.
"Mmmmm.....Trowa? Did you hear what I said?"
Trowa made a noise of assent, letting his fingers graze down Quatre's legs as he eased the pants off, then pulled the sheet and blanket over the blonde. He hung the pants with the jacket in the closet, then returned to slip underneath the sheets. Quatre moved to lay his head on Trowa's chest and was rewarded with the reassuring feel of Trowa stroking his hair.
"Sleep well, little one. After the dinner tomorrow, we go to L-2 with Wufei and Heero," Trowa said.
Quatre smiled. "It'll be just like old times...all together again." Yawning, he pressed closer to Trowa. They lay together in the big bed until they both fell asleep.
***
They arrived on L-2 in the middle of the afternoon. A sleek limousine—provided by Quatre, of course—awaited them at the
shuttle bay. "So should we surprise Duo at the school or wait until tonight?" Quatre asked, holding Trowa's hand as they
walked to the car.
"Let's just go to his place," Heero suggested casually.
//I can't believe he's doing this,// Wufei thought. Gratefully, Wufei reached over and squeezed Heero's hand. Heero looked up
in surprise, then smiled. The four boys slid into the limousine, Trowa and Quatre on one side, Heero and Wufei on the other.
"Would he be home? I'd think he'd be at the school, with the holidays coming and all," Quatre said.
"Call him first; if he's home, he might like some warning we're coming," Wufei said.
"He won't answer the phone," Heero replied. Six surprised eyes looked at Heero, but he offered no further explanation.
Quatre shrugged. "To the house, then," he told the driver, who nodded. Quatre closed his eyes and rested his head on Trowa's shoulder as they smoothly pulled away. Wufei sat quietly, occasionally stealing glances at Heero.
"Is something wrong, Wu-chan?" Heero asked after the third time Wufei glanced his way.
//Wu-chan? He's never called me Wu-chan...// Wufei looked up at Heero. Heero was smiling, waiting for Wufei's answer. "Fine, Heero," he finally replied shakily.
"Good." Heero returned to gazing out the window while Wufei processed what he'd just seen. Heero's face might be open, his behavior affectionate, but his eyes...his eyes were as Wufei remembered—cold, untrusting, and evaluating.
****end part one*****
AN: I had to do some reworking of part one because as written, it was impossible to carry out the way it should have been. (Special thanks to those who reviewed the original part one—I appreciate your support, as it's been a while for me to be sitting at the keyboard.)
Comments? Criticism? Ideas? Flames? Funny faces? I'll take anything, just please review!! ^_^