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OBSERVANCE
SCENE 1: SUNNYDALE AIRPORT: 20:15 PM
Airport Tannoy: The flight now landing at gate 4 is the 8:15 from Heathrow. Thank you.
(The camera follows a woman striding purposefully through the airport. She is aprx 5ft 6in tall and in her early to mid forties. She wears a brown tweed skirt suit with green flecks and sensible brown shoes.
Her hair is tied at the top of her head and secured in a bun by an infinite number of hair pins, this has not worked at the front however where a pair of thick silver rimmed glasses peer out from under a waterfall of mousy brown hair. She is carrying two large suitcases and a handbag the size of a small camper van. She walks determinedly her concentration evidently elsewhere however.)
CUT TO
SUNNYDALE HIGH, THE LIBRARY.
(Giles, Wesley, Oz, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Angel and Buffy are standing around a circular scorched hole in the floor.)
Giles: Well that was….
Xander: Big?
Cordelia: (pulling a face) Ugh, Gross.
Giles: an interesting diversion. I must say however that I could live without fifth class demons from the interior dimensions in my library Willow so…
Willow; Oh that's right, blame the witch. Why did I have to do it, it could have been anyone. It, it could have been Xander.
(They look at her)
Giles: Willow, (looks at Xander who is cleaning his nails obliviously) Xander may have many faults but as far as I know accidentally conjuring up fifth class demons from the interior dimensions is not among them.
Xander: He's right Will, I draw the line at third class, forth class tops.
Giles (taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes): Yes, quite. Um, well thank you Buffy. You managed to get here very quickly.
Buffy: All in a day's work.
Wesley: Yes Miss Summers, Mr Giles is right, your reaction time is increasing. But (lowers voice and makes sweeping gesture towards Xander, Cordelia, Oz and angel) Do you take these everywhere with you?
Buffy (shrugs): They're my crew
(Camera turns to Oz, Angel, Cordelia and Xander, Xander is doing innit sign (upside down pointy devil finger rap thing)
Xander: Word.
Buffy: (looking at watch) OK, If my work here is done, only I have a nine o'clock showing waiting for me at…
Wesley (startled): Nine o'clock?
Buffy: Yeah, well it's 8:40 now but…
Wesley: Why, I mean, Why didn't somebody, I mean if it's 8:40 now then.
Xander: Baywatch nights, I get that way if I miss it myself.
Wesley: No, I mean. There's a representative, I was meant to, from the airport. Oh lord, Oh dear God.
(Wesley sinks to the desk his head in his hands): Why do these things happen to me? (Looks up at the group) Do you know I came top of my year at (is there a watcher school? That if there is)
It's you (points to Buffy et all) You throw my organisation out. I was given one thing to do and you stopped me from doing it.
Buffy: Calm down Wesley, speak in sentences.
Giles (looking through Wesley's watcher diary) He's being observed.
CUT TO
A DARK ALLEYWAY
(Airport lady is walking distractedly through the alley much in the same manner as she was at the airport. She still carries all the suitcases etc and the waterfall of hair is getting a little worse. Other than that much is the same. A dark haired, man in a leather jacket approaches her from behind and taps her on the shoulder. She turns around to face him, the camera too reveals his face for the first time. Surprise surprise he's a vampire. He roars in her face. She kicks him in the balls doubling him over, as his mates converge on the scene she drops her suitcases and takes a stake from her pocket.
Vampire 1 jumps back at her, she stakes him. Vampires 2 and 3 approach her from behind, she spins round and floors them with a roundhouse kick before staking vampire 4. She kicks vampire 5 in the chest and stakes him before turning back round to stake vampires 2 and 3. She checks that the alleyway is vampireless before picking up her suitcases again.)
Airport lady: Bloody vampires.
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH LIBRARY
(Giles and the rest are gathered around his desk reading Wesley's watcher diary. Wesley himself is sitting at the big table with his head on his folded arms.)
Giles (takes off glasses) A representative of the watchers council arrived at Sunnydale airport at 8: 15 (gestures at Wesley) Wesley here was meant too meet him at the airport.
(Giles opens the draw and takes a look): Oh dear.
Willow; What? Why oh dear? Why say oh dear? Oh dear.
Giles: He made a sign (he takes a strip of cardboard with Wesley Whyndam-Price written on it from the draw)
Buffy: Oh dear.
Oz; Shouldn't that have their name on it? Just a suggestion.
( Wesley groans.)
(Airport lady enters the doorway)
Airport lady: Assistant librarian Wesley Whyndam-Price?
Buffy: Hey Wesley, your mom's here.
Wesley: (lifting his head from the table) Mummy? (Realising that Buffy was joking) Don't toy with me Miss Summers.
Giles: (controlling a smile) Yes Buffy, that was uncalled for.
Airport lady: (brushing hair from her eyes) Squirrel?
Giles: Alice? Alice Boston is that you?
Oz: Assistant librarian?
Xander: Squirrel?
Buffy: I'm guessing he got here on his own.
Xander: Squirrel?
Giles: (standing up) Alice. Why didn't you say that Miss Boston was your Observer Wesley?
Wesley looks blankly at Giles: Oh good, someone else who knew you first. (He returns his head to the table)
Xander: (quietly) Observer?
Oz; (quietly to Xander) A Watcher watcher?
Alice Boston; (putting down her suitcases and looking at Wesley in concern) Mr Whyndam-Price?
Giles: umm, he's a little….
Willow; He's tired, There were demons and, in the library and he, he's tired… (Smiles in a panicky please believe me fashion)
Alice Boston: Tired?
(They all nod)
Giles; He'll be better once he's wound down.
(Camera swings round to Wesley's face, Wesley opens his eyes wide and looks left and right in a 'why am I here' fashion. He hears Alice and snaps into an upright position. He stands up, straightens his tie and walks towards them. He holds out his hand.)
Wesley; Wesley Whyndam- Price, Good evening.
Alice Boston: Gosh, well, good evening Mr Whyndam-Price (takes some papers out of her handbag) If you'd care to take a look through these papers, we need your signature on the 1st and 3rd.
(Looks up from her bag) Giles do you have a phone?
Giles: Yes, yes of course here. (Picks up a phone)
Xander: We have a phone, a phone I don't pay for. Why wasn't I told?
Oz: Who would you call?
Xander: Well pointed out, assistant librarian? When does he assist?
Giles: Excuse me for a moment Alice. (Turns to Xander) He's only technically the assistant librarian. It ensures he's always on site. And it pays a living wage.
Xander: I'm always on site. Why don't I get a living wage?
Giles: Now you know, and I know, that Snyder, uhm Mr Snyder, that is Principal Snyder wouldn't let you near the janeteering staff let alone an educational post.
Xander: Janeteering?
Oz: go with it.
Alice: Giles? Phone?
Giles: Yes, yes quite. Do you mind if I ask who, that is, who it is you're going to phone?
Alice: Celia
Giles: (taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes) Oh, Celia you bought, you bought Celia with you?
Alice: No.
Giles: Well then you can't.
Alice; Giles give me the phone.
Giles; Alice I'm not letting you phone London from my library.
Cordelia: (re-entering the library carrying food, crisps and what have you) Wow, it's like a she-giles
Oz: feel the passion.
Willow: Well it makes sense, there must be lady watchers else, where would you get little watchers from…
Alice: Giles, like the boy said you don't pay for it.
Xander: hey, me boy, boy want food. (Cordelia throws him crisps) Oh, Boy wanted candy.
(Cordelia sits at the table)
Cordelia: So who's Celia?
Oz; We don' t know, I'm guessing head she-Giles.
Alice: Giles! (Places her hands on her chest in a casual version of the watcher sign) In the name of the watchers council I demand that you give me that phone. (Stands tapping her foot)
Giles: Oh you, I can't, Oh take it …(hands Alice the phone)
Buffy: Giles?
Giles (frowning at Alice) What?
Buffy: Didn't you get, like, fired?
Giles: And?
Buffy: You don't have to take any of that 'in the name of the watchers council' stuff anymore.
Giles: (still frowning) Yes, yes you're right. Oh she would have got the phone anyway.
Alice: (into the phone, using the sing song voice that people use for pets and small children) Celia? You're a good girl. Who's mummies good girl, yes she is. Is Martha there? No? Well have you eaten? In the kitchen, the fridge. No, not the hot box. The cold place. Good girl. Where's the cats? (Said really quickly like wezzacatz) Good girl, yes you are, good girl! Bye bye, bye bye, alright, good girl, FETCH! (Alice slams the phone down as she calls fetch)
Giles: You, you've got Martha caring for her?
Alice: I'm abroad so much now. Martha's there while I'm away. Now, which of these fine youths is the slayer?
Buffy: (holding up her hand and walking towards Alice) that would be me. Buffy Summers- slayer to the stars.
Alice: Buffy?
Buffy: yup.
Alice: Gosh… How very, American… (She turns to the others) and these would be.
Giles: um, (takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, gestures towards Cordelia) Cordelia, (Alice raises an eyebrow at her name, Giles gestures towards Willow) Willow Rosenburg
(Willow waves and smiles, Alice raises an eyebrow further) erm Oz, (Oz nods an acknowledgement and Alice suppresses a smile) and umm…
Xander: Alexander. Ma'am (Xander cuts across Giles and shakes her hand) pleased to meet you.
Buffy; Alexander?
Xander: Yes Buffy that would be my name.
Cordelia: Celia is a dog?
Giles: Well, um it's , it's a little more complicated than that. Alice here has a Canus Lupis Sapient.
Xander: You can get cream for that now.
Buffy: A what?
Giles: (taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes) Celia is a Canus Lupis Sapient. In the same sense that Oz is a Homo Lupis Sapient…
(Xander suppresses a snigger in an attempt not to seem immature)
Alice: Golly, which one's Oz again?
Oz: (raising a hand slightly) pleased to be of service ma'am.
Xander: So Celia is a were-dog?
Giles: essentially yes.
Willow: why don't we get those? A demon that turns into a puppy every month. Sunnydale needs more of those.
Alice: (lifting up her head from her handbag where she has been searching for something) No, no not a were-dog Giles you've given them the wrong idea.
Giles: Yes, yes I do appear to have misled you. Celia isn't in fact a human who turns into a dog. Rather most of the time she is a ratty, worm eaten dog apart from during the full moon, when she's a ratty worm eaten wolf person.
Alice; They're very rare. And she's not ratty.
Wesley (clears his throat) I've got my Watcher diaries in the next room if you would care to see them?
Alice: (distracted still searching in her handbag) Yes, yes quite. (Lifting her head) Do you know I don't think it's in here. One of you big strong lads couldn't fetch my suitcase over here could you?
(Xander and Angel walk across the room, Angel picks up a suitcase and carries it back. Xander attempts to pick up a suitcase and fails.)
Xander: (leaning nonchalantly against the case) do you mind if I ask what you have in this case? I mean it's not like, personal things?
Buffy: personal things?
Willow; He means underwear.
Alice: books, books and other research materials. (Turns to Giles) You'll like some of the books I brought with me. Updates from the watchers council, new issues of 'watcher watch' that sort of thing.
Xander; (more or less to himself) Well if it's not personal things I can do more than one trip. (Putting his hands on the lock) 'Did you pack this case yourself Madam? No I let my pet werewolf do it.'
Alice: NO!
(A bolt of bluey green light issues from the lock and throws Xander across the room.)
Xander: Hooha. (He coughs) ow. Buffy who has leapt across to where he is lifts him to his feet.
Buffy; Are you alright?
Xander; Apart from the searing pain? Sure.
(While they are talking Willow walks over to the case and mutters a few words over the lock and opens the case. The group look at her.)
Willow: Oreanha's protective, I use it on my lunch some days.
Giles; your, your um, lunch?
Willow, well, you know, when I have cake.
Giles; Um, Alice do any of your other possessions have booby traps?
Alice: (sorting through the suitcase having muttered over the other locks) What? Um, no. I must say Alexander, is it? Most people find that the sinister aura puts them off from even touching the case before they get a chance to be erm…
Buffy; Zapped?
Alice (smiling) yes, quite.
Xander: What can I say, I'm that kind of guy.
Giles (patting Xander on the shoulder as he walks past) yes, yes you are aren't you.
Alice Boston: Aha, got yeh! (She clasps two or three spiral bound softback folders and a small purse)
Alice Boston: Squirrel, catch! (Alice throws the folders at Giles)
Giles: What? Ah, (flaps his hands about aimlessly whilst folders hit him harmlessly in the stomach)
Alice Boston: 'Watcher watch' Latest word in Watcher protocol, news on new demons what have you. No need to thank me.
Giles: Well, yes but surely Mr Whyndam-Price?
Alice Boston: Oh Wes doesn't mind if you read it first do yeh Wes? No course you don't Squirrel can underline the difficult bits for you.
Giles: (shaking his head and flipping through the folders) yes, erm quite. I'll just put these in the office shall I? (Wanders off shaking head again).
Alice Boston: (opens the purse and takes out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter) Dear me I've been looking for these since we landed, honestly I can remember a time when you could do damn near anything on a plane as long as it didn't scare the pigeons! (Gives a short snort of laughter) eh? Scare the pigeons! (Buffy and her friends look at her a bit aghast) No? Well different cultural references I suppose, can't say a little polite laughter wouldn't have gone amiss, ah well… (She clicks the flint and sparks up the lighter)
Giles: ( unseen voice from behind the shelves) No, no, no ,no. You, you can't do that in here.
Alice Boston: (holding her cigarettes and lighter and looking innocent) What? Squirrel, you wouldn't deny a cigarette to one of your oldest friends?
Giles: Yes, yes I would Alice ,as you may have noticed this is a library , full of books , which , which are made of paper, flammable paper.
Alice Boston : Gosh Squirrell you're like an old woman sometimes really. Well if I can't smoke then what does it take to get a drink here? I've a mouth like a budgie cage .
Giles: Hmm, you've got a mouth like something. I'll go and make some tea.
Alice Boston: Tea? I've come halfway across the world.You come halfway across the world and meet someone you haven't seen for , gosh, ages, that's the sort of thing you break out a nice 18 year old single irish for, eh? Oh my what's wrong with them , don't americans drink? (she addresses these last remarks to buffy and her friends who are looking a little gobsmacked)
Giles: Alice, this is a library.
Alice Boston : Oh well, ( gestures at Wesley) You, Mr useful . Is there anywhere I can drink and smoke in this place , preferably at the same time?
Wesley : Umm, there , I , well there's 'The Feathers'. It' s the pub near my flat.
Xander : ( eating) Pub? Sunnydale has an english quarter now?
Oz: Why not? we have a demon district.
Alice Boston: ( taking a larger old looking book from her luggage) Here Squirrell, borrowed this in '85. You better have it back now I suppose. ( She throws the book at Giles who this time is quick enough to catch it) Aha , gosh threw the book at 'im. Eh? Eh? Oh nevermind.
Giles: Yes, I'll put this on the shelves shall I ?
Alice Boston: So eh , Squirrell. Coming with us?
Giles: no, no I'll content myself with cataloguing this for the moment. Mr Whyndam –Price will escort you to the, what is it 'the feathers'?
Alice Boston; Oh, fair enough.
(Giles wanders away to the shelves shaking his head and smiling.)
Alice Boston: Ok , Booze and fags here we come eh wesley?
Xander;(with his mouth full) I knew it!
Giles: ( unseen voice from behind the shelves) Cigarettes, Xander, cigarettes.
Wesley and Alice leave. The last thing we hear is Alice's booming laugh.
Xander : Ripper? Squirrell? What are you the nickname king?
Giles : (Picking up books from the main table) Yes, well. Have we had our little laugh at my expense?
Buffy: Hell no. Squirell?
Giles: I used to have a , well my face was a little plump. I suppose for the sake of authenticity it should have been hamster but ……..
Xander: Well rodent boy. . .
Gile : Hey, what ever happpened to respect for your elders?
Willow; We, we respect you. Squirell! (puts her hands over her face and giggles)
Giles: (Sitting wearily in his chair) et tu Willow?…
CUT TO : SUNNYDALE HOSPITAL
(A thin dark haired woman lies asleep in a hospital bed. Sitting half asleep by her side is a tall well dressed dark haired man wearing thick glasses. The pair might as well have 'evil goth baddie' written across their foreheads. In spite of this the man's face is drawn and his eyes are red rimmed as if he has spent nights worrying and tearful. A doctor enters.)
Dr: Dr Villiemme?
(the tired looking man stands up)
Dr Villiemme : Dr?
Dr: (gesturing to Dr Villiemme to join him in the corridor) This is never an easy thing to say Dr Villiemme, it's the part of my job I most hate I'm afraid. As you know your wife has been with us for some months now and, well I'm afraid her condition has, well you're a medical man Dr , I'm sure that you were informed of the risks... There really is nothing further we can do you see, it's only a matter of time.
Dr Villiemme : Oh, I see.
Dr: I'm sorry. There really is nothing we can do. Of course she's welcome to stay here but some of our patients prefer to be among family when… Well, that's something you'll have to discuss.
Dr Villiemme: Yes, quite. Thank you Dr.
(Dr Villiemme ushers the dr out of the room and takes up position next to the woman again, she stirs slightly)
Dr Villiemme: Shh Aprille, sleep, sleep. ( turning away and picking up a mobile phone –cue ominous music) Dzecthel? I'm calling in all my favours. Tell your people that they have a job to do for me.
(he turns back to the sleeping woman who is twitching in her sleep)
Dr Villiemme: Be still Aprille, you're not going anywhere soon.
CUT TO 'THE FEATHERS'
(Alice and Wesley are seated at the bar of 'the feathers'. Wesley looks a little nervous)
Alice Boston: Oh , what are yeh Wesley. A man or a mouse?
Wesley: I, well, I don't , I …
Alice Boston: Well I'm not sitting in a bar with a man who drinks shandy (gestures to barman) Do you do 'Speckled hen?' (barman nods) A pint and a half of Speckled hen then please dear. ( turns to Wesley ) And what are you having? (Wesley's jaw drops) I'm joking ! I'm joking. Gosh, this'll put hairs your chest. (She hands Wesley his pint, which looks huge and takes a sip of her drink. Wesley smiles nervously – fade to black).
SUNNYDALE HIGH – EXTERIOR- MORNING
(Willow, Oz and Xander sit underneath a tree with a low wall nex to it. Xander has already broken into his lunch. He is talking , and using the apple he is halfway through eating to emphasize a point)
Xander : So I said 'you say that now!'
Willow: And?
Xander: And nothing baby, let no one say Xander Harris doesn't know how to end an argument.
Oz: You're a dancing fool.
Xander; Ah, you say that now.
(Giles comes loping across the courtyard using that odd, girly trotting run that only him and english women use. Like he doesn't want people to know that he's running)
Giles: Oh, Willow good. Just the person I wanted to talk to. Erm, the computer, in the library. It appears to be on a strike of some sort.
Willow: Okey Dokey, Do you know what the problem is?
Giles: Other than that it won't start? I'm afraid not. (looks around) Oh, is Buffy not here yet?
Xander: We thought she was with you.
(Buffy aproaches )
Buffy: Hi.
Xander: Hi.
Oz: Buff.
Giles: Oh, Hello Buffy We were , erm. Just talking about you.
Buffy: Well ( makes hands open gesture) here I am.
Xander: (does little shadow boxing dance type thing) So Buff, been kicking some demon butt?
Buffy: (looking at Xander oddly) Umm, no? I was washing my hair. I was going to do it last night but I forgot. So I'm late.
Giles: Willow, computer?
(Giles and Willow trot off to the library, Buffy pulls her bag up over her shoulder)
Buffy : OK , I have like , classes and I am way late so ….
Xander : Ok, see you around (waves)
(Xander and Oz stretch out in the sunshine)
Xander: Aaah, always rushing somewhere.
Oz: hmmm.
Xander: The little ladies just don't understand the need for relaxation like we do. (Folds his arms behind his head)
Oz: Xander?
Xander: Hmmm?
Oz: Don't you have Social science with Buffy? (looks at watch) like ten minutes ago?
(Xander makes choking noises , jumps bolt upright and runs/falls into the distance.)
CUT TO , WESLEY'S FLAT-(APARTMENT)
(Wesley lies in bed ,asleep, he has bed hair and no glassses. Light floods through the gap in the curtains, he wakes up and groans a little . He tries to sit up and winces and holds his forehead groaning with pain. He thrusts out his hand and gropes blindly for his glasses. He puts them on looks at the time and groans again. The sound of running water comes from his bathroom. His eyes widen . he tries to get up again and looks visibly queasy. The sound of coughing comes from the bathroom. His eyes widen a little more and he turns towards the bathroom door. From the bathroom a familiar female voice booms out 'The ride of the Valkryes'. Wesley turns pale and curls up int the feotal position drawing the bedspread up around his neck).
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH LIBRARY
(xander, Oz, Willow, Buffy and Giles stand around)
Xander: I don't believe I've got to do my social sciences essay all over.
Giles: I don't understand how it is you get into these scrapes. You say you just forgot? (passes a pile of books over to Xander.) Here , these should help you .
Willow: (stands at the computer) Did you plug it in?
Giles: Credit me with a little intelligence (kicks aside a small pile of books surrounding the plug socket and surruptitiously checks that it is plugged in)
Willow: (fiddles with computer for like ten seconds) Oh, I see your problem , (computer starts up) your (insert mind numbing computer babble here) . You see (squeaks in surprise because Angel has appeared behind her)
Angel: Something's going down.
(omnouis music- everyone focusses on Angel. The silence is broken by Wesley who scuttles through the library at some speed, avoiding eye contact with anyone.)
Wesley : Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.
(They stare after him for a moment before focussing back on Angel)
Buffy: Angel?
Angel: There's something going down.
(Alice saunters in, going through her handbag as she walks, putting her cigarettes away and waving away the smoke)
Alice: Cooeee. Gosh whats going on here? You all look absolutely granite faced.
Giles: Erm , Angel, that is Angel has some news .
Alice: Oooh, (perches on desk and turns to face Angel) Well do carry on there's a dear.
(Angel turns back towards Giles and Buffy)
Angel: There's something going down, something unusual. I don't know what , I'm not exactly in the loop any more, you know?
Giles: (murmurs)Yes, yes we understand.
(Alice looks a little puzzled)
Angel: As I said , I'm not sure what it is , but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is is happening on concecrated ground , and soon. Other than that I can't say , but there's been some real organisation behind this I can sense it.
Buffy: So, shall I like do a whistle stop tour of sunnydale churches?
Giles: erm, yes, yes quite. Willow do you think you could check for any abandoned churches, or churches with poor night security , that sort of thing?
Willow: I'll get right to it.
Buffy : (standing up) I'll help. (Quietly to Willow as the walk along – looking at Alice) The exact same clothes as yesterday did you catch that?
Willow: (innocent looking) She's british, Giles always wears the same clothes too.
Buffy: (eyebrows raised) Uhummnn?
(Buffy and Willow walk over to the computer , Xander opens the social sciences textbooks, Angel stands looking over Xanders shoulder)
Angel: Wasn't that due in today?
Xander:( standing up angrily) Yes, yes it was due in today. Buffy gave it in today, Jonathon gave it in today even weird Jo who sits at the back eating glue gave his in today! But I didn't , because I'm a dope ok deadboy? Ya' happy?
Alice: (looking up from her handbag) Gosh, Dehdbouy? Is that Cornish?
(Angel looks at her in a puzzled fashion. Everyone looks a bit nervous.)
Giles: Um, Alice, Why don't you come with me and make some tea.
(Giles takes Alice by the arm and leads her into his office)
Willow: Xander. If it helps you can have my Social science essay, just to use as an outline.
Xander: If it helps ! Will you're a goddess !
Alice : (unseen shout from the office) A VAMPIRE!!!
(Everyone turns towards the office. Giles and Alice return , Alice stares at Angel with a fixed grin)
Giles: (startled) Tea! (dashes back into the office, returns with tea).
Giles: (smiling apologeticly) Tea.
(Alice sips tea )
Alice: So, erm, Buffy? Has Wesley been bitten, I, I, I mean in. Has Wesley been in?
Xander: He went that a way. (gestures theatrically in the direction in which wesley has gone)
Alice: Oh well, no rest for the wicked, I mean , that is, thank you Alexander.
Xander: Pleased to be of service ma'am.
(Alice stands up and smiles at the group)
Alice: Well, Willow, Alexander, Ozwald, erm, Angelous. People to do things to see , Eh what? (grins)
(The group just sort of look at her)
Alice: (turning to Giles) Well Squirell I can see you have infected them all with your effervescent joy in simply being alive. (She picks up her handbag) I'll be off now, observing etc. Keep me up to date on that um, 'something' whatever it turns out to be.
Xander: We'll do that (touches his nose and points, inclining his head slightly)
(Alice leaves).
Oz: Ozwald?
Giles: (patting Oz on the shoulder) It, erm, It. Go with it.
CUT TO , THE STREETS OF SUNNYDALE
(Buffy and Angel walk along the dark streets, Buffy is waving her arms around as she talks. She still has a stake in one hand which is causing Angel to dodge and weave rather.)
Buffy: And she had like the exact same clothes as she had on yesterday.
Angel: Maybe she only has one set of clothes.
(A vampire jumps out, Buffy stakes it without looking)
Buffy: Oh, you are just Willow with fangs.
Angel: I am?
(Another vampire jumps out , Buffy floors him with a roundhouse kick. Kicks him twice again and stakes him.)
Buffy: (gesturing towards the church which they are aproaching, The camera pans out to reveal It's all lit up and a stream of vampires are converging on it-standing out against the night sky like a sore thumb) You think that's your something?
Angel: (shrugging) It's a possibility.
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH LIBRARY
(Xander sits at the table with the books open , however from our viewpoint it is clear that he has simply copied out Willow's essay , writing his name at the top).
Xander: (stretching out) Time for a well earned break. (switches on a small portable telivision on the table, the first few chords of a guitar driven theme crash out) Cool, just in time. (sits transfixed slurping soda)
(Giles wanders past carrying books, the telivision catches his eye)
Giles: What on earth is this?
Xander: (eyes glued to telivision) Stacey Mae the High school warrior cheerleader.
Giles: (hypnotised , slack jawed ) I don't know how you can watch this (follows a particulally flashy roundhouse kick) rubbish
Xander: No, it's very (watches slack jawed and hypnotised as the blonde heroinne runs along looking big eyed and scared) well written
Giles: (following the onscreen action with his head on one side) She's very, feminine for someone who fights so much…
Xander: (Slurping soda) Hmm.
(there's an onscreen explosion and and a tall angular character with an english accent and a brown cardigan chastises Stacey Mae)
Giles: It's so unrealistic, it's just ridiculous I mean who's that meant to be?
Xander: Brian, he advises Stacey Mae
Giles: , who would take advice from that? doesn't he realise what an old woman he looks in those clothes?
Xander: (still staring at screen) Less talk , more watch. (slurps soda , realises it is empty and reaches for the bottle , he pours but is distracted by the telivision and misses the cup, giles too is transfixed by the blonde kick boxer and doesn't notice until the soda runs down off the table and onto his shoe)
Giles: Oh, Xander, look , just, um, the books ! Just get a mop.
CUT TO INTERIOR CHURCH
(The pews are filled with ranks of vampires, dark purple velvet cloth covers the altar, there's gold and silver plate scattered everywhere, it's all very gothy – At the altar stands Dr Villiemme holding Aprille upright, he brushes the hair away from her neck, she whimpers a little)
Dr Villiemme: hush, It'll be all over by the dawn.
(A dark male vampire steps forward)
Dzecthel : Congregation! Tonight we welcome among us a new member. A new life joins ours. Welcome Proffesor Aprille Villiemme.
(Dr Villiemme brings forward Aprille, the dark vampire roars and bites into her neck. She flinches and he presses her head against his own neck . The vampire crowd make a lot of whooping and howling noises. Suddenly the large doors at the front of the church smash open)
Buffy: Busted.
(The vampires swarm towards her and Angel. They start to fight them off)
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH, CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LIBRARY.
(Xander wanders along the corridor shadow boxing and humming the theme from 'Stacey Mae the high school warrior cheerleader'. He reaches the janitors closet and stops).
Xander : aah utility closet. Such bitter sweet memories.
(he puts his hand on the handle)
CUT TO INTERIOR CHURCH
(Wave upon wave of vampires are sweeping down on Buffy and Angel, they continue to fight them off together )
Angel: I don't think this is going to be easy
Buffy : (stopping fighting momentarily and turning to Angel) you think?
Angel (still fighting off vampires ) You don't have to be like that .
Buffy:Sorry ( pause stake vampire) It's just , you know , ask a silly question.
Angel: I didn't ask a question. (stake vampire)
Buffy: It still stands. (stake vampire)
Angel: I really do think that they have us outnumbered (stake vampire)
Buffy:You sound like Giles. (stake vampire) So what do we do ?
Angel: I don't (stake vampire) have a to do anything (stake vampire) but if I was you (stake vampire) then I would definetely ( stake vampire) consider (stake vampire) .
Buffy: RUN!………
(The run out of the church and down the road as if all hell is loose behind them, as in fact it is.)
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH, CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LIBRARY.
(Xander stands outside the janitors closet with his hand on the handle , he goes to twist it but is suddenly distracted)
Xander: Oh a penny ! (bends down to pick up the coin) See a penny pick it up (opens door)all day long you'll have good (turns to face open cupboard door ) Gnargh.!
Alice: Hello.
Wesley: Oh God! It, It's not what it ..oh my.
(I HAVEN' T USED THIS BEFORE, I FORGOT, BUT, )
CUT TO AD BREAK
RETURN FROM AD BREAK
SUNNYDALE HIGH LIBRARY
(The group are gathered in the library, Buffy and Angel have returned. Wesley and Alice look sheepish, Xander looks traumatised, Giles who Xander has obviously confided in looks a little distracted by it all, Will, Oz, Buffy and Angel obviously don't know)
Buffy : We found the something.
Alice: Gosh ! (giggles) sorry. Carry on .
Giles: So erm , what (distracted by Alice suddenly remembering to tuck in shirt, unnoticed by the rest) I, erm, that is , quite.
Buffy: (looking at Giles with concern) Giles?
Giles: hmm? (stares at Buffy momentarily before snapping back top earth) Oh, yes, so Slaying. How did your patrol go?
Wesley: Yes, Alice has (clears his throat) informed me
(Xander snorts, Giles shuffles papers)
Wesley:that Angel had suspicions of an unusual amount of activity…
(Xander snorts again)
Wesley : among the vampire comunitity.
Buffy: (looking puzzled at Xander etc) Yeah, we checked out the list of churches Wil gave us .
Oz: (unemotionally) Yay Wil.
Buffy: Anyhoo, St Mary's. vampire city. I mean , like every vampire in sunnydale must have been in that church ,
Wesley: Did you notice anything unusual?
Buffy: Apart from the vampires suddely getting religion?
Giles: Buffy
Buffy: OK, there was something going on at the front of the church, velvet all over the place, chalices silver plates, a feeding , there was a woman , and there was some serious vampire snackage going on. It was way Anne Rice.
Alice: Anne Rice?
Giles: erm, like , Mills and Boon Alice, but with vampires.
Will, Xander, Buffy :Mills and Boon?
Giles: Like Anne Rice but, oh it doesn't matter…
Angel: It was an organised sireing, that woman wasn't just being fed on. She was feeding too.
Giles : It does indeed sound as if someone is , erm, recruiting.
Buffy: And?
Giles: Pardon?
Buffy: you were making tired frown number 112 'this is odd'
Giles: Yes? Quite…Well it is.
Buffy: Because?
Giles : Well vampires are not usually , by their nature, community animals. In fact the only time that a vampire is likely to worry about the decimation of the local vampire population is when he …
Willow : Or she.
Giles : Indeed. Or she… Is the one being , erm, decimated.
Oz : Well put.
Willow: So what do we do? We can't just let them reproduce right? Well we can't.
Wesley : Well that would rather be the essence of a vampire slayer, to slay vampires. But the mere reproduction of vampires whilst a little odd in that it was ritualised to such an extent tonight and not something to be encouraged is not , in as far as a vampire can be so, unatural.
Buffy: Guh?
Giles : I think we could all think about it better after a good nights sleep.
Buffy (yawning) I hear ya'
(the others mumble in agreement)
Alice (looking a little surprised) What have you done to these poor children Squirell? The night is young!
Giles : I haven't done anything Raleigh.
Willow : Raleigh? Why did they call you Raleigh?
Alice : Because I was made with pride in Nottingham.
Giles : it bloody wasn't.
(Willow switches off the computer, everyone else puts their things away, Angel slings buffy's coat over her shoulders)
Buffy: Well, um, we'll be going then.
(Buffy and the group follow chattering)
Giles: Come on Raleigh, I'll walk you home for safekeeping.
Alice: Oh, Don't worry yourself about me Squirell.
Giles: (Looking meaningfully at Wesley who blushes) It's not you I'm worried about. (puts on his coat) Wesley, lock up for me will you?
Wesley: I, well, of , yes of course.
Giles : Good.
(Giles and Alice turn to go – facing away from the camera)
Alice: You haven't changed one bit have you?
Giles: Neither have you, I really don't know what to make of you Raleigh Boston.
Alice : (shrugs) I get easily bored.
Giles : Alice he's half your age,
Alice : (shrugs) mmph
Giles : and dammit he's Wesley. It's, it's grotesque.
CUT TO INTERIOR AN APARTMENT
(The apartment is furnished in a modern comfortable minimalist style, the only sign of anythiing unusual are the tightly closed blinds and the few discretely placed ocult symbols, that and the chuffing great vampire pacing the living room floor. Apprille is barely recognisable as the woman we first met in the hospital, her limbs have grown strong again and as she paces she looks like a caged panther)
Dzecthel : She needs to feed.
Dr Villiemme : I am familiar with the needs of the vampire.(takes Aprille by the hand and kisses it ) Do not worry my love, You'll have time to feed soon enough. (strokes her face)
(Aprille looks him in the eyes , places her hand over his and lunges at his neck – there is a flurry of movement and Dzecthel pulls her away from Dr Villiemme who falls to the floor)
Dr Villiemme : (brushing him self down and laughing indulgently) Now, now. Haha.there's gratitude for you. I didn't go through all this so you could feed on me the first chance you got..
(turns to Dzecthel) Dzecthel , where can I take her, for her first feed as it were?
Dzecthel : Well, for her first hunt she wants to be certain of a kill so I'd go to a club. Normally I'd sugest the Bronze , but there's been , shall we say, an element of danger in hunting there recently. (he presses his fingers together in a temple like arrangement) I think possibly 'The Feathers' there's an older clientelle , but never the less, the risk of being slain is greatly reduced.
(Dr Villiemme grabs Aprille by the waist)
Dr Villiemme : How does that suit you Aprille? Do you want to go out and grab a bite?
CUT TO INTERIOR , ALICE'S ROOMS
(Alice lies on her bed fully clothed except for her shoes, smoking furiously, she flips through a soft backed folder on the cover of which are the intials W and C intertwined and underneath those are the words 'watcher watch spring /summer', she looks very , very bored.)
Alice : Aargh! (throws folder to floor in frustration) That's it , I'm going out. (she slips on her shoes and pinches out the end of her cigarette) Right. ( She pads across the floor and puts her hand on the handle – she leaps back and holds her hand as if scalded) Rupert George Weldon Giles you utter, utter bastard! (A small handwritten note flutters down from places unknown – Alice reads it, Giles's voice reads it aloud for us) You never learn do you Raleigh? If your reading this you'll know that I've put Johann's sealant on your rooms, just like in your old exam days eh? It will have worn off by morning so don't try to fight it. Have a good sleep, yours, Giles.
Alice (screwing up note and throwing it aside) Bugger Johann's sealant Squirell, I'm not a bloody bantling anymore. (takes off her shoe and puts her hand inside it – stands next to her window and taps gently with exagerated care ,once, twice, then gives the window an almighty thump smashing a small pane of the glass- she puts her shoe back on and puts her hand through opening the window from the outside)
Alice: Ha, freedom. (Climbs backwards out of the window, slips slightly ) Ooh! Gosh, (giggles riotously and regains footing – giggles continue out of sight).
CUT TO INSIDE THE FEATHERS –LATER THAT NIGHT
(Dzecthel was right, the feathers does attract an older clientelle, in the sense that most of the customers have left high school. Central is Alice who is clearly quite 'merry'. She is leaning over some poor nervous looking youth wearing cordrouys. She is punctuating with her cigarette )
Alice: Do you know , you really are quite ravishing . I mean I have seen some , well I've been to some places with fine looking populations but you are clearly a fascinating individual…
(The doors burst open and a group of vampires stream in – Apprille and Dzecthel head the attack Alice sobers instantly and feels inside her jacket for a stake)
Dzecthel : (gesturing towards the bar) Over there , feed quickly whilst they are disorientated.
(The vampires swarm towards the bar – people are screaming etc, the young man next to Alice is bitten, assorted others are bitten, Alice stakes the nearest vampire, Alice kicks a vanpire in the chest as he lunges at her and stakes him, more vampires are kicked, punched and staked. The fight moves to the centre of the room, Alice continues to stake vampires all around her. She spins and stakes a vampire behind her, It is Aprille , a shocked silence descends upon the vampire crowd)
Aprille : (shouting) Run, for God's sake all of you, what are you waiting for permission?
(The crowd scatter, the now depleted vampire crowd stand in silence – Dr Villiemme stands staring at Alice with hatred burning from his eyes)
Dr Villiemme : What , have you done.
(Alice looks momentarily nervous and lets her arm fall to her sides)
Dr Villiemme : You are going to suffer , Oh my lord you are going to suffer (Dzecthel puts his hand on his shoulder- Dr Villiemme pulls away-speaking in a low calm voice) I am going to show you pain the like of which you will believe could never have existed. You will beg and you will plead but there will be know escape, ( circles Alice who is glued to the spot)You see I have a lot of friends in this town , a lot of people who owe me favours , A lot of people who depend upon me for the little things which make life more comfortable. You will not know comfort again,Your greatest craving will be death but it will not come, because I intend to make you pay for a long , long time…
Alice : (biting her lip) oh fuck (punches Dr Villiemme in the stomach with a quick rabit punch, momentarily winding him and escapes cornering a fair turn of speed for a big lass. Dzecthel jumps forward to help up Dr Villiemme who stands looking in the direction of Alice's departure.)
Dr Villiemme : Oh you will pay….
CUT TO EXTERIOR , GILE'S APARTMENT
(Alice stands below Giles's window , throwing stones)
Alice: (Hissing) Giles! (throws gravel) Giles! (throws small stone) Squirell! (yells) Giles! (throws bigger stone which smashes window) Oh bugger.
(Giles opens the window and leans out bleary eyed)
Giles : What , what, why, what are you… I do have a doorbell you know
Alice : Sorry, paniced. Had a spot of bother .
Giles : Alice? Is that you ? What about the…
Alice : Same as always, you forgot the window. (looks around) Um, Squirrell, I do seem to be in, rather a lot of danger. ..
Giles : What ? Oh, yes quite. Wait I'll come down.
Alice : Take your time.
CUT TO INTERIOR , GILES'S APARTMENT
(Alice sits at the table with a hot drink, Giles sits on his bed looking stressed)
Alice : Put the fear of God up me I can tell you .
Giles : Yes, yes quite I can see how, how that would yes. (takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose) Tell me Alice , how is it that you were promoted quite so high? I mean, even with all the sleeping around …
Alice : Hey! I did that sleeping around because it was fun, not because I wanted to be promoted. Nepotism took care of that.
Giles : Oh yes, uncle Christopher.
Alice : And aunt Lauren, cousins Joy and Martin and great uncle Simplicity.
Giles ; Ah yes , the Boston genetics. Some families have red hair, the Boston's have the ocult.
Alice : At least I can set Johann's sealant, bantling.
Giles : (pinching his nose and shaking his head) Look , we can't sit about here all night , we've got to get to the library.
Alice : Why? Bantling.
Giles: Well , in order to protect yourself fully from such a threat it is probably best not to have provided an unsealable entry for any passing vampire. (gestures towards broken window) And please stop calling me bantling , it's very annoying.
Alice : (grinning) To the library.
Giles : yes, um, quite.
CUT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH , LIBRARY, NEXT DAY.
(The group are gathered in the lbrary, )
Giles : Dr Jakob Villiemme , he was a member of the staff at Sunnydale university , he and his wife were the senior lecturers on historical fact in myth, and Archeological reconstruction theory. They both took early retirement early this year when his wife contracted a wasting disease during an archeological dig in south america. That was the last I could find on either him or his wife.
Angel : I've heard of Dr Villiemme. I've never met him myself but if anyone could organise what we saw last night , it would be him. A lot of people owe him.
Alice : Oh, gosh.
Giles : (pinching the bridge of his nose) Yes, um, indeed , gosh. Angel, is there any other information you could give us ?
Angel : Well he's not a vampire – I mean Dr Villiemme is mortal, but there isn't a vampire in sunndale who doesn't owe him for something. If a vampire needs to interact with the mortal world in any way what so ever it is probably him who made it possible . If a vampire needs say, a lawyer for a courtcase , if a vampire needs an identity for a court case, it is Dr Villiemme who provides .
Alice : Gosh again.
Willow : Why would a vampire be in court ?
Xander : snacking without due care and attention?
Oz : weak.
Xander ; you try and come up with a vampire crime pun.
Giles : (looking momentarily at the group and shaking his head) I think perhaps we are dealing with some one of a truly formidable stature in this towns demon community.
Wesley : yes, I agree with Mr Giles, I think perhaps the best thing to do would …..
(Wesley is interupted by the fact that a large ungainly brown/red creature smashes it's way through the large glass doors which connect the library to the school grounds and lunges at the group but mainly Alice)
Monster : Graaaaarrrgh!!!
(Buffy instantly leaps to their defence , punching and kicking the monster into submission , she just generally beats it about and then stakes it. It freezes and then falls to the ground shattering like pottery- By now however a group of kids and teachers, including Snyder, are gathered around the smashed in door staring at the shattered monster and the mud covered Buffy )
Alice : And that would be your average surprise attack monster special effect. Now if I could have a volunteer from the audience to demonstrate how to throw without being harmed. (turns to Snyder with feigned surprise) Ah, Mr Snyder I presume? (Snakes Snyder by the hand ) Francis Ansiny –Industrial light and magic . I must say it was very good of you to let Mr Giles organise a demonstration in your library, it's this sort of thing which helps to make the kids understand all the hard work which goes into the sort of films they watch every weekend.
Snyder : (looking understandably dazed) Films?
Alice : (laughing) Gosh yes, you don't usually have monsters smashing down your library doors do you? Hahaha .
Snyder : (still looking dazed ) No , no, that, would be ridiculous ,wouldn't it? Mr Giles a word?
(Snyder and Giles step outside )
Giles : (looking nervously back into the library) yes?
Snyder : Mr Giles, I've put up with a lot from you. I've given you work, I've given your 'friend' Mr Whyndam–Price work . What have you done to my library?
Giles : (looking momentarily baffled) what? Oh , yes the doors, um Miss Ansiny's company is paying for that , you did sign the papers.
Snyder : I did ?
(Giles nods)
Snyder : Well, carry on…
(Snyder leaves , everyone leaves apart from Wes, Alice, Buffy and the scooby gang- Giles returns)
Buffy : Did he buy it?
Giles : (taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes as he walks) I think Snyder thinks I'm gay (stares at Wesley in sort of puzzled disgust)
Buffy : Giles? Earth to Giles.
Giles : What ? oh, yes, yes we have to pay for the door. (stares distractedly again at Wesley in sort of puzzled disgust)
Xander : (kneeling next to the remains of the monster) So what's the deal with mud guy here?
Wesley : It , um , it's a golem
Buffy : Guh?
Giles : Golem, a man made creature from the judeo christian tradition. A person equipted with the corect knowledge can construct a man shaped vessel from clay or in this case terraccotta, sealing inside it a piece of paper with a trigger word written on it, once the trigger word is said the creature is intstilled with life or, or in any case motor skills and will do it's creators bidding.
Oz :And Miss Boston's new friend was at the controls?
Giles ; Yes, yes I think that is the most likely explanation. Alice what are you doing?
(looks at Alice who is sifting through the shattered pieces of Golem)
Alice : What? Oh, um, the last , and I believe the most widely read document to contain the instructions with which to make a Golem gave the command word as the creators address, I'm assuming that our good Dr doesn't realise that it doesn't have to be the…Aha! (clasps the scrap of paper above her head) Got him…………………………………………………
CUT TO DR VILLIEMME'S APARTMENT
(Dr Villiemme paces, Dzecthel perches on a low sofa toying nervously with a glass of a dark and probably best left unnamed liquid)
Dr Villiemme : Well, what have you found out ? What is she ? An aging slayer? An over enthusiastic amatuer? What (face looks angry grips something hard to control anger) is she?
Dzecthel : She's not a slayer. There's still only one Slayer in Sunnydale, there were rumours but.. She's not. The best thing we can make out is she's a something to do with the watcher. She was at the school with him when the Golem found her.
Dr Villiemme : And Watchers mean slayers and slayers mean slaying…yes, yes yes. I can grasp the implications of that. Damn it Dzecthel half the vampires in sunnydale owe me their lives.
(Dr Villiemme grasps a metal cup carved with mysteirious symbols – it is filled with a grey dust , he strokes the side, and thrusts it at Dzecthel, Dzecthel winces . Wouldn't you if some one pushed a body in your face?)
Dr Villiemme : What is it Dzecthel ? Reality bite? (returns to stroking vessel) You failed me Dzecthel, you failed her . Now tell me, what are you going to do about it?
CUT TO THE LIBRARY
(Angel sits alone at the table leafing through a book, Alice walks in cleaning her glasses on her
jacket)
Alice : (nodding a greeting) Angelous.
Angel : I prefer Angel, Angelous is dead.
Alice : (her face turning serious) yes, yes Giles told me you're something of a Stregoni benefici.
Angel: something like that yes.
Alice : (sitting oposite him at table) Well, Angel, as of the moment the Watchers Council is unaware of your existance, and as Giles seems to trust you and I personally would trust Squirell with my life, I see no reason to alert them. ( Alice weaves the crucifix which she wears on a chain around her neck between her fingers) However if you ever harm even one hair on the head of Giles, the slayer or even those two ginger kids and the odd boy, then I will make it my personal business to ensure that the first task of the next slayer is not only to hunt you down like a dog but to ensure that you can never be ressurected. Do you understand me?
Angel : (head bowed respectfully) Yes'm
Alice : (stony faced) You see Angel dear, I may seem to be an aging laddette, everybodies best friend but I'm still a member of the Watcher's Council, and I have seen your kind cause more pain and suffering than most people would imagine possible. I'm prepared to tolerate you. But I can't trust you, you'll have to earn that. Is that clear?
Angel : (head bowed respectfully, nodding) Yes'm.
Alice : (standing up) Good. (Grinning widely ) Now where's Squirrell got to with the curry? I'm starving.
CUT TO THE STREETS OF SUNNYDALE
( Buffy, Xander and Willow stand in the bushes outside Dr Villiemme's apartment)
Xander : ( staring at Dr Villiemme's apartment building and eating a, well an unidentifiable meat product on a stick) Buff, Why are we here?
Buffy : (with a sly smile)………
Xander : (interupting her before she can speak) 'K, Buff. Cold, tired and only just regaining my apetite. So if we have any little jokes about persevearence against a largely hostile universe or reproducing to maintain the balance of species on the planet or suchlike could we keep them to ourselves?
Buffy : Wow, you're really cranky. What crawled up your butt and bred?
Xander : ( narrowing his eyes 'dirty harry' style and staring into the distance) I have seen things that man should not wot of.
(Buffy and Willow look at each other over his head, Willow shrugs)
Willow : We're here trying to find out what we can about Dr Villiemme's influence in Sunnydale. Who visits him, who he visits. You know, stalker stuff .
Buffy : That would be why me and Willow chose black clothes.
(camera pans out on Xander's rather fine hawian shirt)
Xander : What ? What did you give me an invite specifieng stalker clothes? Did you tell me to pay a quick visit to terrorists 'R' us before we came out ? This is my look baby, love it or leave it (Willow passes a paper bag over her shoulder) Ooh Oreos ! (tucks in happily)
Buffy: So what do we have to report back on so far Will?
Willow: (consulting a notebook) 10:05 Oz walked past and waved…
Buffy: And?
Willow: Um, (flicks through pages of notebook,) That's it, no one went in, no one came out. (Smiles apologetically) sorry.
Buffy : So you think he knows we're out here?
Willow : I think probably. From what Alice said though he wouldn't care.
(Xander snorts at Alice's name)
Buffy : (turning back towards Xander) What? She's a nice woman.
Geez Xander at least she's not evil.
(Xander frowns and mutters darkly - Willow passes another paper bag over her shoulder)
Xander : Ooh Reece's pieces! (Tucks in happily)
Buffy : So should we just split? I mean if nothing's happening here surely we'd be better off just patrolling?
(Xander coughs lightly)
Willow : I suppose so, I, I mean if we don't see something soon.
(Xander's coughing becomes a little more like choking)
Buffy : OK, we'll stay for another twenty minutes or so and if nothing happens we'll go.
Xander : (cough, choke ) Buff? (Cough, choke) Buff? (Cough, choke) Buffy?
Willow : Do you mind if I don't patrol with you? I have a little homework left over.
Xander : (cough, choke ) Buffy? (Cough, choke) Buffy? (cough , choke ) Buffy?
Buffy : Ok, but we'll have to check back with Giles before we , excuse me.
(Buffy turns round and grabs Xander by the waist, quickly performing the Heimlich manoeuvre and sending a rainbow shower of Reece's pieces shooting from Xander's throat)
Buffy : (looking down at Xander who has understandably dropped to the floor) What?
Xander : (out of breath) Buffy? (Pointing behind Buffy) Vampire!
CUT TO, ELSEWHERE ON THE STREETS OF SUNNYDALE. THE ENGLISH QUARTER.
(Dr Villiemme strides purposely clutching the vessel containg Apprilles remains, he talks animatedly whilst Dzecthel orbits him, struggling a little to keep up )
Dr Villiemme : I'll need at least twenty six for a double circle, check around the bars and sewers for those who've caught a dose or are drunk enough to be maudlin and confused. Check out underneath chalky bridge too, they're all too doped up to understand what they're volunteering for. Just tell them Dr Villiemme wants them and they'll fall over themselves.
Dzecthel : (concerned, eyeing the vessel, ie Apprille's remains, with visible distaste) Are you entirely sure about this Dr Villiemme. I, I , this is a, a rather extreme measure.
(Dr Villiemme spins around, his eyes (I know this is a cliché) flash with anger)
Dr Villiemme : Do you want to be part of the circle Dzecthel? She must pay, and she must be seen to pay.
(Dzecthel shakes his head rapidly, bowing slightly. Dr Villiemme's lip quivers and he holds the vessel to his chest)
Dr Villiemme : One day, one day I had her. (He puts his hand to his mouth and looks suddenly very small and close to tears) I couldn't save her Dzecthel. I couldn't do it. All that preparation, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't protect her.
(Dzecthel looks a little stunned as Dr Villiemme stands before him pale and nearly weeping)
Dr Villiemme: (pulling himself together and standing upright and fiery with anger once more) Tell Sunnydale that Dr Villiemme needs Twenty six demons to sacrifice themselves for him before dawn or I withdraw my services forever, is that clear.
(Dzecthel nods his agreement)
Dr Villiemme : (roars) IS THAT CLEAR!
(Dzecthel scuttles off into the darkness)
CUT TO THE LIBRARY
(Giles sits at the desk thumbing through a book, he runs his fingers through his hair (which is looking more like Tony Blair's by the day incidentally) in a stressed out way. Alice enters the main library area, she is looking through her handbag as she walks)
Alice : That's it Squirrel, I've got to go home. I am absolutely faggless. Not a cigarette on me.
Giles : I'm not suprized you've not stopped since teatime.
Alice : (pursing her lips) Yes well, thank you mother but I'll have to pop home and get some. Chuck over my Ogles will you?
(Giles throws Alice's glasses to her)
Giles : I'm really not sure about this Alice. Are you sure you'll be alright?
Alice : Squirrel. How many years have I been a watcher?
Giles : twenty five.
Alice : Three. Giles we've been watchers for twenty three years.
Giles : Fine, twenty three?
Alice : And am I dead yet?
Giles : Not to my knowledge, no.
Alice : (putting her hands on her hips) then let me go and fetch my cigarettes.
Giles : (looking a little flustered) Oh, fine go, are you sure you'll be alright?
Alice : (smiling) no, but I'll be a damn site more alright than I would be stuck here with no fags.
(Alice walks out and Giles shakes his head and chuckles)
CUT TO THE STREETS OF SUNNYDALE, OUTSIDE DR VILLIEMME'S APARTMENT
(Buffy and the vampire are engaged in a fierce struggle, Buffy's generally kicking him about the place, eventually she pins him against the wall and with a combination of her knee in his groin and Xander and Willow holding a stake each at his chest they begin to extract information)
Buffy : What is he planning? Come on, (She smiles unpleasantly) F'ess up.
Xander : (over enthusiastically) Yeah , Spill!
Buffy : You want to give him a chance to talk Xander?
Xander : Well, not really I mean I'd rather just stake him to be honest but…. (Falls silent as Buffy and Willow glare at him)
(The vampire starts to squirm and whimper)
Buffy : What's Dr Villiemme planning? How does he plan to get his revenge?
Vampire: (eyes wide with fear) I, I don't know. (Xander starts to place pressure on his stake, Buffy's crucifix throws a cross shaped shadow on the vampire's face causing him to panic and try to burrow backwards into the wall) Oh, don't kill me! Don't kill me! I'll tell you! (He starts to sob) I'll do anything just don't…. (His voice dissolves into sobs)
(Xander releases his grip slightly, and begins to look uncomfortable)
Xander : Geez.
Vampire : He's going to use the griechische Feuer des Teufels, he's rounding up vampires for it now.
Buffy : I have no idea what that is. But it sounds really bad.
(Buffy releases her grip on the vampire and turns to Xander and Willow)
Buffy : Will, you got that written down?
Willow : griechische Feuer des Teufels, yup.
Buffy : We'd better get back to Giles to check it up then. (She turns to face in the direction of the vampire who has made a break for it when she released her grip) Hey creep!
(The vampire turns only to receive a hastily thrown stake in the heart for his trouble. He collapses in a pile of dust)
CUT TO THE LIBRARY
(Xander, Willow, Oz, Angel and Buffy stand in the library, Giles stands holding a dust covered cracked book)
Giles : griechische Feuer des Teufels, Greek fire of the devil. A spell which originated in 2nd century Europe. Named for the substance Greek fire, possibly phosphorous, which ignited everything it touched in an all consuming rain of fire. I don't think I need go into what it does?
(Everyone murmurs agreement)
Willow : Um, Giles. The guy we got the information from mentioned vampires. Where would they come in, exactly?
Giles : You see, that's the thing. The spell requires a double circle of thirteen vampires apiece. It is from these vampires that comes the diabolical fire. They act as, psychic kindling as it were, losing their lives in the process. So you can see, Dr Villiemme must be pretty powerful.
(Suddenly screws up his face in a frown and throws the book to the floor with a thump, causing everyone to jump, understandably so) WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS DO THIS! She's always been like this, it was like this when we lived together and she's still doing it! (Looks up at the group who look, well suprized is an understatement) Sorry, sorry. I'm a little tired. This last week has been rather a strain.
Xander : Woah, woah. Back up there mister. Lived together?
Giles : (rubbing his eyes and holding his glasses in his hands) Don't get excited Xander, We shared a house at university. There was nothing, um, romantic. I had to leave after a term or so anyway I couldn't cope.
Xander : Oh, what did she summon up demons to perform her bidding (does 'spooky' hand movements) and threaten to draw you into a web of terror?
Giles : (looking at Xander as if he has just said 'wibble wibble cabbage verruca knob') no, (shakes head) no, she never did her turn in the kitchen and she used go out all night and leave female things lying about the bathroom. What is it with you and demons anyway Xander? (Realises he is standing in a room full of books about demons, with a demon slayer and a demon – albeit a good one- trying to work out how to stop a spell involving twenty six exploding demons) Oh, yes, quite. Sorry.
Buffy : So what? We should make sure Alice doesn't go home yeah?
(Giles turns pale)
CUT TO ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING
(Alice unlocks her door and walks up the stairs in darkness, we hear the occasional curse as she bumps into things in the dark. The light comes on and she is bent over rubbing her shin. She straightens up and looks around briefly for her cigarettes, she finds them and lights up. After taking a few drags she rearranges her jacket and handbag and moves to close her curtains, She looks out of the window to the streets below her, from the darkness melt the figures of twenty six vampires entwined in a double circle more correctly oval running so that a vampire is touching the building with it's back, and facing him at the other end of the oval, (although outside the oval, and not touching any of the vampires) Is Dr Villiemme. Alice drops her cigarette and stands open mouthed.)
Alice : Oh fuck…..
CUT TO STREETS OF SUNNYDALE
(Buffy, Willow, Xander, Oz, Angel, Wesley and Giles run through the streets of Sunnydale)
Buffy : So we have a plan?
Giles : (out of breath) A plan, yes, that would be a nice idea wouldn't it.
CUT TO ALICE'S APARTMENT
(Alice sits on the floor with her back to the window, she is smoking furiously. She stubs out her cigarette and cautiously pokes her head up to window level and peers out, the view below her is extraordinary, the vampires are all, well they're vampires so they're never exactly normal, but they look odd. They're all either too thin, or scabby or spaced out or all three. But they stand as upright as they can, waiting, whilst Dr Villiemme begins to chant. Alice stands transfixed. Suddenly the telephone rings causing her to drop to the floor spread-eagled before she realises what it is. She chuckles and rolls to the phone and picks it up)
Alice : Hello?
SPLIT SCREEN ALICE AND GILES WHO IS OUTSIDE BEHIND THE BUILDING USING A MOBILE
Giles : Thank God you're still alive.
Alice : Well, that's a sentence to inspire confidence. What are they up to?
Giles : griechische Feuer des Teufels
Alice : Oh bugger.
Giles : My thoughts, um, approximately. Um, Alice is there a room with a window at the back of the building that you can get to?
Alice : There's a cupboard.
Giles : right, make your way there please.
(Camera follows Alice making her way to the cupboard)
Alice : So, Squizz. You worked out a plan?
Giles: (Frowning tiredly) Of sorts yes.
(Giles and Alice's voice continues but the camera shows what they are talking about)
Giles : Although I can think of no way of stopping griechische Feuer des Teufels, If we can get you out of the house we should be able to get you to safety. Provided of course that we can get you past twenty four vampires and an ocult expert who wants you dead.
Alice: Ah.
Giles : Quite, However, although this is risky it…
Alice : it's a damn site less risky than taking your chances with Teufels Feur, Greek or otherwise.
Giles : Yes, Alice in twenty minutes Villiemme will have reached the point of no return. Buffy is on he roof of the building across the road with a crossbow. If she can hit one of the vampires through the heart at the exact right moment it should set off a chain reaction. Starting the process early and causing a distraction. If you can be out of that window and away in the three minutes that Wesley, Willow and myself can maintain a field of protection. Then we should be safe.
Alice : After the amount of windows I've climbed out of? Piece of piss!
(Giles winces at Alice's vulgar way of saying easy as pie)
Alice : Giles?
Giles: Yes?
Alice : Is the odd boy down there?
Giles : (without hesitation) Xander? No, no, he and Oz went to get the van.
Alice : Well, if something happens, tell him I'm sorry he, well that I used his cupboard.
Giles : (smiling) You'll be able to tell him yourself Alice
Alice : Dear God no! If I make it out alive let 'im stew. We'll get him to think he imagined it. See you in ten, eh Giles?
Giles : See you in ten Alice.
(Giles clicks off the phone and turns to Wesley and Willow, they link hands and begin to chant)
CUT TO, THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING
(Dr Villiemme stands with the vampires, his chanting has become almost nonsensical. The words running together, meaningless through repetition)
Dr Villiemme : De los darknes eternos sale la luz, los alcances fríos de la muerte viene el calor de su infierno, de los diablos ellos mismos saldrá el fuego que consume, la oscuridad sale luz, el frío viene calor. Dai darknes eternal esce da la luce, le estensioni fredde della morte viene il calore del loro hell, dai diavoli essi stessi uscirà da il fuoco consumante, la nerezza esce da luce, il freddo viene caloreAus den eternal darknes heraus kommt Licht, aus den kalten Reichweiten des Todes heraus kommt die Hitze ihrer Hölle, von den Teufeln selbst kommt das verbrauchende Feuer, aus der Schwärzung heraus kommt Licht, aus der Kälte heraus kommt Hitze.
(As his chanting begins to become more urgent the vampires start to issue an eerie tonal hum – the camera pans back onto the roof of the building with Buffy and Angel. Angel holds a stopwatch, Buffy is staring open mouthed at the vista below her. The vampires having now not only started to hum, but glow too)
Buffy ; This is way more way than, (shakes her heard silently ) way more.
Angel : (looking at his stopwatch) Buffy, aim.
(Buffy takes careful aim with the crossbow)
Angel : (Still looking at the stopwatch) Have you got one?
Buffy : (finger on trigger, tongue poking out wih concentration) Uhuh. (nods)
Angel : Ok. 1, 2, FIRE!
(Buffy fires the crossbow, It hits a vampire directly in the heart. However rather than simply collapse into a pile of dust as usual he stands bolt upright and explodes into a pillar of fire, as does the vampire next to him, and the one next to him)
Buffy : (breathless) Way more.
(Buffy and angel start to run)
CUT TO BEHIND THE BUILDING
(Giles, Wesley and Willow stand hand in hand chanting. The air ripples. Xander and Oz pull up in the van and press the horn. A small plump tweed figure half climbs half falls out of the window. Alice runs like the clappers towards the van. When she gets near to the van Wesley, Willow and Giles break the circle and make their own dash towards the van. Just as everyone jumps in the van the building is consumed by fire. They tear around the corner stopping only to pick up Buffy and Angel)
CUT TO INTERIOR, THE VAN
(Giles and Xander sit up front in the driving and passenger seat, everyone else sits /crouches in the back. Willow has her head on Oz's shoulder everyone else just sits in a random pattern)
Wesley : Good work Buffy, I'm glad to see that your proficiency with a crossbow is coming along in leaps and strides.
Alice : (her comments seemingly not addressed to anyone) My flat just exploded. My duty free was in there. Four hundred Rothmans and a couple of dozen packs of Woodbines. (Looks up at group) I bet you can't get those over here.
Willow : Well we're all safe, and, and that's the main thing . Right?
(Everyone murmurs agreement)
Oz : Drac and disorderly.
(Everyone looks at him in puzzlement and shifts away slightly)
Buffy ; Oz? You ok?
Oz : (looking up as if suprized at their interest in his health) Drac and disorderly, it's a vampire crime pun.
Xander : (From front of van) weak.
END CREDITS.
END CREDITS SLIDE DOWN TO BOTTOM EIGHTH OF SCREEN – MUSIC FADES DOWN
(Xander, Wesley, Oz, Angel, Giles, Buffy and Willow are watching a tv in the library. The tv faces away from us. They have popcorn)
Wesley : (eyes glued to tv) Who's that?
Xander : (Slurping soda) Lavender Feldman, the clever one.
Oz : You can tell because she's not blonde.
Wesley : (hypnotised by tv) Oh.
(Popcorn is passed round in silence)
(Alice enters and catches glimpse of tv)
Alice : Gosh, he's sex on a stick.
Buffy : (eating popcorn, not taking eyes off screen) 's Gabriel, Stacey Mae's boyfriend.
Willow : He has his own show now. (Sighs wistfully) He's troubled.
Alice : (Sitting down to watch and taking a handful of popcorn) Well have him washed and sent to my tent dear.
(Willow giggles)
Giles : Oh, it's finishing.
Willow : Oh wait I like this bit.
SCREEN FILLS WITH CREDITS AGAIN – MUTANT ENEMY LOGO COMES UP.
Willow's voice, unseen but simultaneous with mutant enemy monster : Grrr argh. (Giggles) I make my own fun.