Travelling in Circles: Chapter 5
by Blue Roses
Warnings and Disclaimers in Chapter 1.
***
"Duo, what am I going to do? I know what I want to say, I just can't think of the right words and the situation is always going to be wrong." siad Quatre, desparately.
"Hey, don't worry, it'll be ok. Just say it. 'Trowa, I'm in love with you' or 'Trowa, I want you' or even 'come here baby, I want you'" Quatre giggled at Duo's impressions of him, and tried to imagine saying those words to Trowa. "You could take him to the Eiffel Tower" Duo continued "It's meant to be really romantic. Take him there, tell Trowa you're in love with him, then..."
Duo broke off, and Quatre never got to hear the rest of his suggestion. Duo was staring at the door with a startled look on his face. Quatre turned around to see what had caused it, and there, at the door of his hotle room stood Trowa, looking as if he had been there for a while.
"Um, guys...I think I'll go" said Duo, obviously deciding that he should leave the two of them alone,. and making a hasty exit. He breezed out quickly, shutting the door behind him.
Trowa walked towards Quatre, who felt almost naked as he was approached. His feelings had been bared, and this was the decision he had been waiting for. He couldn't stand the tension, and his own vulnerability. He focussed on the traffic sounds outside his window, anything other than Trowa's approaching footsteps.
"Is what Duo said before true? Do you love me?"
"Yes" said Quatre, drawing on reserves of strength to get the word out. He felt like it was his last breath.
Trowa took one step nearer, and then another. He stopped, looked at Quatre, and then bent towards him, as if telling a secret.
"I love you too" he said quietly.
Quatre thought he would melt, or possibly explode. He couldn't believe it. His wish had been granted. He leaned towards Trowa, and their mouths touched in a kiss.
***
The kiss had turned into another, and that had melted into the next, so by the time Duo sneaked back to see how they were getting on, they were still standing in the same place, engrossed in each other's lips, and the feeling of closeness.
Duo shut the door and left them to it.
***
Hearing the door click behind Duo, Quatre slowly pulled away from Trowa to see what the noise was. Seeing nothing, he turned back.
He was about to initiate another kiss, when he realised he hadn't been totally open with Trowa. If they were going to start a relationship then he should tell him the truth from the beginning.
"I came here to tell you I loved you, Trowa. Duo and I had a bet - well, he knew how I felt about you, and he convinced me that I should tell you. I know I should have before, but I was scared." At this point, Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre, and rested his chin on his head. Neither of them had to be scared any more.
"Anyway, I was looking for you so I could tell you how I felt, but when I saw you again I couldn't think of the words. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't. I love you, Trowa."
In reply, Trowa pulled him closer and kissed Quatre on the neck. He shivered, he had a weak spot there, as Trowa was discovering.
"I loved you too, right from the start." said Trowa "I tried to hide my feelings, even from myself, but it didn't work. You have too much of an effect on me. I don't want to leave you."
"I don't want you to leave either" said Quatre "please don't go."
"It's getting late" said Trowa, and Quatre looked out of the window, and realised that it was much later than he had thought.
"We can both stay here. I don't mean..." Quatre blushed, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. "We can sleep here. I don't think I'm ready for much yet, but..."
"It's OK." said Trowa, diffusing Quatre's worry.
They sat down on the bed, where soon, tired out from the events of the day, they fell asleep, wrapped in each others' arms.
***
The next day dawned bright and early. Duo, brimming with curiosity peeked round the door to the room he had left Trowa and Quatre in. They were curled up together on the bed, both still clothed, but as close to each other as they could get otherwise.
Duo sighed. It didn't look as if there was anything much he could tease Quatre about this time. He smiled at the image of the two of them, it was obvious they were in love, and they were both so lucky.
He called to them both "Trowa, Quatre" Quatre rolled over and rubbed at his eyes, rising out of sleep.
"Duo?" he said, then noticed Trowa on the bed beside him. A huge smile took over his face.
"Good night?" asked Duo.
"Yes" answered Quatre. He grinned even wider at Duo, who was silently begging for details, but he said nothing, just watched as Trowa opened his eyes. "Good morning" he said, bending down to kiss him.
"Wonderful morning" answered Trowa.
Duo left them alone to dress, telling them to meet him in the hotel restaurant for breakfast, then he went to see if he could persuade the waitress to bring him extra toast.
***
They sat around the table, in a council of war. Trowa sat very near to Quatre, as he didn't want to be separated from him. Quatre had told him about Duo's search for Heero, and he had worked out the cause with little prompting.
"So, where should we go next?" asked Quatre. "It's obvious Heero's not in Paris, where else do you think he might have gone?"
"Japan?" suggested Duo "I think his folks came from there before they moved out to the colonies."
"No" said Trowa "I don't think that he would do that. He has no ties to his family."
"You're right" said Quatre "He never speaks about his family, and he doesn't seem to have any particular loyalty to them. There's little reason for him to go back there."
"There are only two things that he does have loyalty to." said Trowa
"What're those?" asked Duo "The colonies, of course, but I can't think of another one"
"You." said Trowa
"What? Me? Come on, you can't be serious. Why would Heero have any loyalty for me?"
"Because you are his closest friend" said Quatre, who seemed to have taken up Trowa's side of the argument. "and because of the feelings he has for you"
"Here we go again. I shouldn't think Heero knows anything about these feelings you keep saying he has. Anyway, this isn't helping. We still don't know where we should go and look for him"
"I think America. Isn't that where your ancestors came from, Duo?"
"Yes, but America was a pretty big place, how're we going to know where to find him, even if he is there?"
Trowa got up, and silently fetched on old-style atlas, with country markings on it on the table. He opened it at the page that contained the continent of America, and they all looked at it, trying to decide where to go.
"I think New York." said Quatre "It's a large city, and I think Heero would feel more comfortable there than anywhere else. He likes to be connected, and to know what is happening, so I think he'd be in the largest city he could find."
"I don't know. Knowing Heero, he probably just stuck a pin in a map, so no one would be able to work out where he was going. He doesn't usually want anyone to find him."
Silent again, Trowa handed a pin to Duo. Duo looked at it blankly. "If that's what you think, then you might as well try it too." explained Trowa.
Duo, although he wasn't convinced of the logic of this, obediently shut his eyes, and stuck the pin into the map. He opened his eyes, and read out the name printed where the pin was sticking. "Alaska" he said.
"Well, Duo, if you think so, but I can't see Heero going there. It's rather cold, I think, and I'd think he'd rather go to a city. You know how important communication is to him, he used to spend enough time on his laptop, so it's likely he wouldn't go anywhere where he'd be out of range. He does like to be near other people, even though he doesn't show it."
"I suppose so, Quatre, but Heero never seemed that bothered about where he lived. He just got on with it. Then again, I guess I'd rather go to New York anyway, I love the lights of the big city and all that, and New York is one of the biggest. We can always look somewhere else if we don't find him, it's not too likely that we will." said Duo, resignedly.
"Don't be disheartened, Duo, I'm sure we'll find him" replied Quatre.
"It's a long shot" replied Duo "We don't have enough evidence to guess where he'll be, really. Anywhere we look, we'll be equally unlikely to find him, if he doesn't want to be found. The guy could sneak into enemy bases, just as well as I could. He's not going to have got sloppy."
"Then we'll just have to hope that he wants to be found." said Quatre, effectively finishing off the conversation.
Trowa stood up. "I have responsibilities I have to attend to at the circus before we leave" he said, then turned to Quatre and spoke directly to him "I will be back soon, I just can't go without telling them. I'll organise things, then I'll come with you."
Quatre's face showed trust and understanding. He knew that Trowa wasn't going to run away from him so soon. "Alright. Take as long as you need. We'll get ready, and we'll meet you when you've finished."
Trowa smiled at him with gratitude, then nodded a goodbye to both of them, and walked out of the restaurant. The two boys watched him leave, moving around people as if they weren't there.
When he had disappeared from sight, Duo turned to Quatre "OK, spill." he said "I want all the details."
Quatre turned bright red "We didn't..." he murmured, trailing off.
"Hey, I saw you in bed this morning, and notice I didn't ask for all the juicy details. I know you two didn't go that far, but I want to know what it feels like to have it all go right. You look pretty happy."
"Oh, I am," Quatre assured him. "I don't think I've ever been this happy."
"Good. I'm glad you're happy, otherwise I'd have to kick Trowa's ass."
Quatre giggled. "You'd better not do that Duo, he makes me very happy. He loves me, and he's the most perfect person in the world."
"I'm glad it's worked out for you Quatre, I hope it works out half as well for me. You're really lucky."
"Don't worry Duo, you'll be fine. Soon you and Heero'll be together just like Trowa and I are."
"I hope so. Have you decided on a date for the wedding?"
"What! Duo, it's a bit early for that don't you think?"
"Well, you should start planning early. You know how those big family weddings take time to prepare, and with your family it'll take years."
Quatre realised that Duo was kidding "He doesn't have much family, that makes up for my large one. I don't actually know much about where he came from, he never talks about it. I don't think we'll start planning the wedding yet, after all, I don't know if I want to get married."
"You mean you haven't always dreamed of a white wedding?"
"No, not really. It doesn't matter how you celebrate it, as long as the love is there."
"True. I just saw you as the wedding type Quatre"
"Well, I've changed. I've been growing up, I suppose, growing away from my background. I haven't seen any of my sisters for a while, which is a bit of a relief, they've always tried to run my life for me. It's interesting just to work things out on my own, even if it does worry me sometimes that I might be making the wrong choices." Quatre smiled "I'm pretty sure I haven't made a wrong choice with Trowa though, this seems so right."
"From where I'm standing, it looks right too." Agreed Duo
"Thanks Duo. You're a great friend. We should go and get some plane tickets, so you can find Heero, and be as happy as I am."
Duo sighed, but agreed, and they went off to book the tickets.
***
Duo sat in the plane and worried. He noticed the angsting was becoming routine for him on long flights, and hoped it wouldn't last. After all, it could get rather annoying. Trowa and Quatre were sitting across the aisle from him, both totally wrapped up in each other, so he had no one to talk to. He watched the news, and browsed the latest music and fashion charts, but nothing caught his attention, there was nothing that he wanted to do.
He lay back in his seat, sighed, and thought of Heero.
What would he be doing now? Duo had no idea what the other pilot liked to do with his free time, he didn't think he liked to have free time at all, judging by the extra time he spent on missions. He must have got something to fill up all the time that had come his way after the war ended, but Duo couldn't think what it could be.
It wouldn't be sport, Heero was truly too little a team player, and didn't strive for recognition on his own either. He liked to have a point, a mission, as it were. It would have to be work then, probably something helping others, if possible, Heero had always liked to save people.
Duo couldn't imagine Heero doing anything in a charity though, he was too cold. Charity meant reaching out, and he wasn't sure that Heero could do that. Oh well, perhaps he had learned, and anyway, Duo wouldn't know for sure what he was doing until he saw him.
Heero's physical appearance, Duo had a lot less trouble imagining. He had, after all, spent rather a long time looking at it, during their time as pilots. As much time as possible, in fact. A smile settled on his face, as he tried to recall the exact expression that he thought Heero would wear when he saw him.
***
The arrival in America was relatively easy, although the government had not yet got rid of the forms they had to fill in on arrival saying that they were not drug dealers or subversives, and Quatre was glad that Duo's nationality could still be classed as American, otherwise he surely would have ticked all the wrong boxes. What they really didn't need was more attention from the authorities.
They travelled into the city by taxi, and all of them were impressed by it, it was so different to the magnificence of Paris, and yet it was special in its own way.
They reached their hotel, and this time it was Duo who spent the most time preparing to search. He set up his computer to search the city databases for any names or aliases of Heero, and the people he thought might help him. It was a less legal attempt than Quatre's had been, but Duo felt it was more direct. With Heero's computer skills it was perfectly possible that he could have deleted himself from any records, but Duo felt he had to try.
Quatre went ahead with his own search, as he had before, but was less assured of success this time, after all, he'd only found Trowa by chance, it was luck that Sally Po had seen him, so there wasn't much chance of finding Heero, who was much more low profile. He contacted local dignitaries and contacts anyway, whilst Duo waited for the results of his search to come in.
It didn't take long, then there was a satisfied 'beep' from Duo's computer, and its results were displayed on the monitor.
Duo rushed over to it. The moment he got there, his face fell. "No Heero" he said. Then it lit up again, and he rushed over to Quatre and Trowa. "Guess who I did find!" he asked.
Quatre shrugged "I don't know" he said. Duo turned to Trowa, who raised an eyebrow, and then guessed. "Wufei".
Duo stopped short "Hey! How did you guess?" he asked. "You've ruined my secret."
"Is Wufei really here?" asked Quatre.
"Yeah. I searched everything, not just credit cards and stuff. He's good, he wouldn't have come up normally, but he's not as good as me. A variation of his name came up on a tenants list." said Duo "I even got a picture to check." he beckoned them over to the computer, and sure enough, there was a picture of Wufei, looking with an annoyed expression at the camera, his hair tied back in its usual pony tail.
"I wonder why he's here" said Quatre "I don't imagine him living in a place like this. He's the sort of person who seems more comfortable in a more natural environment. Do you think living here is a penance for something he thinks he's done wrong?"
"It probably had something to do with his honour. That seems to be the most important thing to him" said Duo. He had learnt that peoples' motivation was less important than their actions. In war, if someone was trying to kill you, you fought, you didn't try and work out their personal reasons for doing it. The same was broadly true in life. If you tried to work out the reasons why people did things you ended up getting paranoid. Sometimes you just had to trust people, and realise that they could do things for no reason at all.
Duo sat at the computer, and tried to coax it into giving up Wufei's position. He tended not to think of his computer as a machine, but more of a person, so he often talked to it, or shouted at it when he was annoyed with it as he was at the moment.
Quatre watched him as he sat, trying to work out the twists and turns that the lives of the Gundam pilots had taken. Trowa, seeing he was worried, came up to Quatre and put his arms around him. Quatre relaxed into his hold, and the two of them stood peacefully, until Duo jumped up with annoyance, not finding the information he had wanted.
"Come on guys, let's go and look for him!" he said, and raced out of the door, his enthusiasm back, with the other two moving more slowly behind him.