Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Tripod. This fic is written for pure
enjoyment and in no way is meant to be taken offensively by Tripod. Please
don't hurt or sue me or I might have to sic Duo on you.
*Petting Duo's head like a dog while
he growls*
Good Doggy…
Staring:
THE G-BOYS: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Wufei
Chang
THE G-Girls: Relena Darlain/ Peacecraft, Hilde
Sheibaker, Catherine Bloom, Sally Po, and Lucrezia Noin
OZ: Millardo Peacecraft/ Zechs
Marquise, The Ghost of Treize Kushrenada, Lady Une (with glasses), Dorothy
Catalonia
Tripod Staff: Boss, The Bug, and others
The REAL Reason Tripod.Com Re-activated My Account
"Mission Accomplished."
Heero said in his monotone voice.
"What
about that other Mission, to "eliminate the idiots at Tripod.com"?'' Duo asked.
"No
problem," Relena said. "Hop in!"
As the limo pulled up everyone crowed in. Pagan was driving, Relena sat in the passenger seat, Duo claimed the window seat, Hilde sat next to him (very closely next to him), Wufei was next to Hilde (not looking happy with the seating arrangements), on the other side of Wufei was Sally and next to her was Catherine, next to Catherine was Trowa. In the next row of seats was Noin, next to her was Millardo or Zechs (he kept taking the mask off and putting it back on and taking it off and…), next to him was Lady Une, next to Une was The Ghost of Treize (what a pig he's a ghost and he still insists on getting a real seat!), next to The Ghost of Treize sat Heero who didn't look at all happy. Next to Heero sat Dorothy (poor Heero) and she was dressed in an outfit similar to Britney Spear's outfit at the Grammys.
Note: If you recall in The REAL Reason
TOONAMI Brought Back Gundam Wing Aiaika gave Dorothy a makeover.
Dorothy was flirting with Heero something awful. She kept scooting closer and closer to him. She run her fingers through his hair and once in awhile she tried to unbutton his shirt. Heero was wishing for his gun.
"Dorothy," he said through clenched teeth. "What the @%#! are you doing?!"
"Oh Heero!" Dorothy said dreamily.
Duo snickered,
"Hey Heero buddy I think she likes you!"
"Omae o' Korosu." was the reply from the bewildered pilot.
In the very back seat was Quatre who was wondering why Relena wasn't doing anything to help Heero. Then the limo pulled to a stop and everyone climbed out. Dorothy clung to Heero's side. Relena walked over to Dorothy and pulled her aside. Her expression rivaled the Yuy Death Glare.
"Dorothy what do you think you are doing." She appeared calm (aside from the death glare, clenched teeth, and clenched fists).
"Snooze ya lose Princess. Heero's my man now." Dorothy replied snootily.
Heero and the rest of the G-gang vomited. Relena glared harder,
Heart (it's a band):
If looks could kill
you'd be lying on the floor
you'd be beginning me please, please baby don't hurt me no more
If looks could kill…
Irritated Author: Ahem…
"Hey Dorothy look here for a moment!" Relena shouted.
Dorothy turned and…
BAM!!
"Um Relena I thought you were a pacifist???" Duo asked as he watched Dorothy lying there unconscious.
"I am- technically that means I don't approve of wars and fighting and killing and won't participate in any of them. I didn't, Dorothy isn't dead. The bullet was actually a tiny needle, which injected a new kind of drug into Dorothy. I borrowed it from Dr. J. When Dorothy wakes up she will think she is a duck." Relena answered truthfully.
*Sweatdropping*
The gang approached the Tripod headquarters and rang the doorbell…
Achoo!! (Don't ask)
A dorky looking girl answered the door chomping on gum with her mouth open.
"Kin' ah help ya folks?" she asked sounding like a hillbilly.
"Err- who's in charge here?"
Suddenly the girl seemed to go rigid. In a second she was dressed like a power ranger (note: she's wearing neon orange).
"You'll never defeat us! We will rule the Internet!"
Can you say Sweatdropping?
Catherine rolled her eyes and brandished her knives and threw them at the girl.
"Ah've bin' hit! Ah've bin' hit! Oh what a world what a world! I'm melting melting Melting like butter!" she cried as she hit the floor.
Trowa's mouth hung open and he looked at the girl who wasn't the slightest bit injured,
"You used the rubber knives didn't you Cathy?"
"Yep, they bounced right off her and she thinks she's dead. Oh well!"
"One down-" Quatre was cut off.
Duo: Two to go?
Man from commercial: A tale of
two Zesties!
Man from commercial: Uno, Dose,
Zesty!
*Sweatdropping*
Flash Flood Warning! Flash
Flood Warning! Flash Flood Warning! Flash Flood Warning!
The g- gang proceeded to enter the building when a voice above them began to speak,
"Halt! This is the voice of God! Get me a cappuccino!" it thundered.
"How come "God" sounds like a woman?" Wufei asked.
"How come "God" sounds like a woman!" the voice mimicked, "Get me a cappuccino or I'll dye your hair pink! All of you!"
13 cappuccinos later when
the author- I mean God- continues with the fic…
A blonde muscled guy who looks like he belongs on Baywatch jumps out of nowhere and blocks the g-gangs path.
"Halt! I will only let you pass on one condition!"
And we danced
Like no one else had ever
danced before
I can't explain what happened
on that floor
But we danced
"And what's that?" asked Duo.
"That Relena Peacecraft will go out with me!"
"Excuse me for one minute," requested a repulsed Princess Peacecraft.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Thank You."
Suddenly Heero looks very possessive,
"Keep your hands off of my girl!"
My Girl, My Girl, My Girl
Talking 'bout My Girl
My Girl
"No problem." Sally said calmly and she pulled a doggy bone from her purse and threw it, "Go fetch boy!"
The boy ran off out of sight after the bone. However our hidden cameras reveal that when he fought Ezma's (from the Emperor's New Groove) sidekick Krunk (or whatever his name is) for the bone he lost and was last seen floating down the Erie Canal.
Fifty miles on the Erie
Canal…
Meanwhile hidden in the shadows…
"Boss this is Ima Nosepicker reporting in, it's the Gundam Gang sent by BrittanyRae to punish us for deactivating her account with us. You know http://raerenee.tripod.com/gunamloveraeandrenee/ ? They're stronger than we expected, I think we'll have to release the secret weapon! Over."
"Ima Nosepicker this is Boss, I copy you and agree get Ah Choo to set it free. Over."
Meanwhile back with the G-Gang…
"I'm hungry!" whined Millardo for the millionth time.
"Shut up weakling!" shouted Duo.
"That's my line!" complained Wufei.
Sounds of struggling…
"Go Hilde!" Lady Une complimented her, "Do you always carry around duck tape?"
"Yep!" Hilde replied looking back at Duo, Wufei, and Millardo- all of whom's mouths were duck taped shut.
Suddenly a girl with long (I mean Rupunzel long) hair stepped into view.
"You're going down!" she shouted.
"Um- who are you?" asked the bewildered Ghost of Treize.
"Ima Nosepicker."
Massive
Sweatdropping
"HeeHee…That's nice what's your name?"
"Ima Nosepicker."
"No we want your name." Trowa told her.
Suddenly Quatre pulled the group into a huddle,
"Guys I think that's her name. Nosepicker is her last name and Ima is her first." The blonde Arabian said.
"Oh!" said the rest of the gang in unison.
The name's Nosepicker, Ima
Nosepicker.
"Ah Choo!" yelled the girl.
"Gazuntide!" said Duo (don't ask how he got un duck taped and don't tell me I messed up the spelling of Gazuntide- I already know that!).
A short, fat Chinese man in thick glasses came out carrying a leash as though something was on the end (it looks like he's walking an invisible dog).
Oh where, oh where has my
little dog gone oh where oh where could it be?
"No! No! No! Ah Choo is my name how stuuuuuuuupid are the people here!?"
Massive
Sweatdropping
"Release the secret weapon!" Ima screamed.
Ah Choo un-clipped the leash and a little buzzing noise was heard suddenly Heero gave a little jerk and slapped at his arm,
"I was bitten by a mosquito, the secret weapon is a mosquito."
Relena rolled her eyes and produced a can of bug spray from hammer space,
"You people really need to be more prepared!" Relena told them.
In the minutes before the bug spray had any effect Heero became covered in bug bites, The Ghost of Treize beat Ah Choo at Go Fish, Noin beat Ima at chess, and Lady Une prepared a rose scented bath for His Deceased Excellency. Then the mosquito dropped dead much to Heero's relief. Ah Choo left disgraced by his defeat to pursue a job as a mailman. Now Ima really was a spoiled brat so she pulled a beam cannon out of hammer space and began firing. Before she had time to blink Dorothy or should I say Duckathy came "flying" into the room and attacked her. As Ima lay there dying she whispered,
"I never should have agreed to this, I should have followed my dreams to become a lunch lady!"
The gang marched into the Boss's office and Hilde brandished her duck tape,
"Well do you surrender?" she asked.
"Never!" replied the stubborn owner of Tripod. Com.
"Well then…"
About three hours later the Boss had fluffy hot pink hair, a manicure and pedicure (also hot pink), and war dressed in a neon yellow and pink horizontally striped thong.
"I surrender! I surrender!" he cried like a baby.
"Very well."
"Mission Accomplished!"
Shortly afterwards BrittanyRae learned that her account at Tripod.Com was reactivated. They claimed to have had a bug but had fixed the problem but BrittanyRae knew better as she sipped her cappuccino. Meanwhile the Gundam Gang was relieved that they no longer had to work for "Cappuccino Woman" anymore. That night Heero got home and heard the words,
"You've Got Mail!" come from his computer.
He checked his email and saw an email with the subject "Mission" and opened it:
To: Heero Yuy
From: BrittanyRae
Your newest mission is to clean the room of my
little sister Shannon. After her's you can continue on to my sister Heather's
room. But first and foremost…
GET ME A CAPPUCCINO!
Author's
Note: Well hope you enjoyed it. I doubt it was as good as my first fic in the
series of Real Reasons. Stay posted for The Real Reason The Cast Of Gundam Wing
Is Never Seen Cleaning.
Thanks
a ton! Review Please!
~BrittanyRae
a.k.a Cappuccino Woman