Disclaimer: "The Pretender" is a protected trademark and I'm Just burrowing the characters. I promise to give them back once I've used them, hopefully more or less intact.
Title: Haunting memories 2
Author: Giton
Rating: R, I guess, some Angst involved
Spoilers: Maybe Season 4, definitely "Junk"
Keywords: Sydney's past is catching up
Summary: Sequel from Haunting Memories, probably part 3 will be the conclusion
Haunting Memories 2
By Giton
The Centre, Sydney's office
Gingerly he sat down behind his desk. It had been three weeks now since Raines' attack on him, but his injuries were still smarting. True, they were diminishing by the day and it shouldn't be before long that they would be ghosts from the past.
Ghosts from the past, indeed. The nightmares of the Camp still haunted him. That was another depressing side effect of the drugs Raines had administered to him. As if the craving for the drug that again ran through his body hadn't been enough, the stowed away memories of his childhood came and visited him every night again. Depriving him of much needed sleep and rest.
For years he had been able to suppress those memories, now they seemed to be back with a vengeance. He had enough self-control to stave the memories and the craving off during the day and not let it influence the efficiency of his work, but during the night he had no control over them.
He gave a derisive chortle.
His work! Sometimes he wondered if his work didn't have the same overtones as the experiments they had done on him and his brother and countless other children in Dachau. Over the years he had convinced himself that the experiments he had been doing for the Centre where "humane" and bore little resemblance to experiments performed in the Death camp, but part of him knew he was only deluding himself. About twenty years ago he, Jacob, Major Charles and Catherine Parker, but mainly the other three, had devised a plan to spirit the children away from the Centre. To hide them from the Centre, maybe even try and reunite them with their families. But the plan had gone horribly wrong. Catherine had allegedly killed herself or had been reportedly killed by major Charles -the stories and allegations became confusing and the evidence was worse-, the latter than disappearing and Jacob met with an "accident", which left him comatose. If it hadn't been for his enormous luck he could have been killed in the same "accident", but he had been valuable for the Centre then and had survived.
Than there had been Jarod, Monica (-little Miss Parker-) and all the other children, who couldn't be left alone with the Monsters from the Centre. And so he had plodded on. Trying to keep most of the children safe and in his care, still conduct the experiments the Centre demanded him to do and try and keep his own sanity.
For some time now he had been having doubts about continuing working for the Centre and not finding any solutions how he could safely end it without endangering people, himself or the children and so he had let it slip by. But in the last three weeks he had been reviewing the situation, partly of remembered dreams and partly of guilt. Implementing his resolution was another kettle of fish.
He shifted in his seat and was again painfully remembered that he wasn't his old self yet. Raines would have been happy to observe every single wince and twinge, especially since they had been able to come up with a plausible explanation for Sydney's absence and stopped Raines from further scheming; for the moment anyway. His thoughts drifted back to three weeks ago...
Cabin near the lake in Blue Cove, three weeks earlier
After he had been attacked by Raines and injected with a similar drug that had been injected into his system twenty years prior, Miss Parker and Broots had whisked him out of the Centre to this cabin. Miss Parker had then sent Broots to ground. Later Jarod had joined them. Together they had watched over him while his system was fighting the drug.
The next day he was in a reasonable, albeit weakened, state and had an argument with Miss Parker to get Jarod back to the Centre again. That day he had felt obliged to go against Miss Parker's wishes to do so immediately and when Jarod returned from the kitchen with some food and coffee, he found the two in complete silence in the bedroom.
Jarod's eyes twinkled mischievously, "Have I missed something?" The other two stayed silent. "Let me guess. Miss Parker wants to send me back to the Centre immediately and you, Sydney, don't agree with that. Considering the situation I can understand this and appreciate the feeling. But let us eat first before the eggs and coffee grows cold and I'll explain to you how the both of you can be right and wrong at the same time."
"Eavesdropping again, Ratboy?"
"Don't need to, you two are like open books to me."
Miss Parker frowned, than shrugged her shoulder and moved over to get a plate with food and a mug of coffee before moving to the other side of the room to eat hers in relative silence.
Jarod had made a fried-egg sandwich for Sydney and had cut it into squares. Sydney looked at it with disdain. Squares were for children! When he picked up one of the squares he had to concede that eating squares was less humiliating than trying to eat an open sandwich with knife and fork while his hands were shaking so badly.
After their lunch, which Jarod described as "less fun than a waiting room at the morgue," Miss Parker asked him to make good on his word and explain his earlier remark.
"It's like this," Jarod started, pacing the floor and unconsciously (-although Miss Parker noticed-) taking on Sydney-like mannerisms when he was in lecturing mode, "Sydney is right. You can't take me in... (-Sydney gave one of his half-smiles-) ...immediately. (-Sydney's smile disappeared, to reappear on Miss Parker's face-) At the moment Sydney is in no condition to defend himself, mentally or physically, especially against Raines. If his condition worsens again, Miss Parker won't be able to deal with it on her own, a regular Florence Nightingale she's not (-unconsciously all three nodded assent-) and if he's in the Centre's infirmary... So, we'll have to wait, at least for a couple more days, until he gets most of his strength up. And it doesn't mean," he rounded on Sydney with a mischievous grin, "that you can fake feeling too ill for an extended period. For one: you're not very good at faking and two: Remember: I was a doctor once.
Taking me in now, will leave Sydney wide open to attack and might give Raines the opportunity to do away with him, probably even you and me; yes, maybe even me," Jarod answered when he saw the questioning look on Miss Parker's face, "Just because we were there to get Sydney out of trouble and know what Raines did. I don't know to what lengths he will go to protect himself. It would make the whole exercise of rescuing Sydney in the first place a waste of time and effort."
He now turned to Sydney and looked at him with an almost wistful smile, "However much I appreciate your thoughts of not turning me in, and believe me I rather you hold on to those feelings, you will have to make the effort! (-Miss Parker frowned, not quite following the reasoning behind this, but glancing over at Sydney and seeing sadness appear in his eyes she reckoned that he did-) Not trying to make the effort, both of you, will strengthen their suppositions and give them the excuse to "cleanse" you both. I am willing to bet that the wheels have been set in motion already to implicate all of you, including Broots, in a conspiracy against the Centre."
When he looked at Sydney he saw that the older man was trying to formulate a protest against it all, probably thinking of a "honourable sacrifice" of some sort. "I know you would rather face them, Sydney, than starting the hunt again. But it is not only you; you have to be concerned about, but also Miss Parker and Broots. Even if they only implicate you, how long do you think Miss Parker and Broots will survive another hiccup in the Centre? Or they may even believe that they might have anything to do with whatever I can cook up? Thought of that yet? No, I believe you haven't."
The room was silent, everyone alone with their own thoughts, seeing the reasoning behind it all.
"So, what do we do now?" asked Miss Parker, "You have brought up some interesting points and thinking about it rationally I might have some additional arguments to coincide with yours. You are right about Sydney's condition," she glanced over at Sydney whose face was almost as pale as the pillow his head rested on, "I have no guarantee that his condition will not worsen again. Also, I really don't want the Centre to know about this place. On the other hand I can't stay away from the Centre too long without a good excuse, but how can I explain the absence of Sydney and maybe even Broots? I forgot to ask him where I might be able to reach him."
"Leave Broots to me," said Jarod, "When you are ready to go back, even if Sydney isn't, I make sure Broots will be there. If possible I can provide you with "breadcrumbs" to make them believe you were following one of my trails."
"Is that how you've been able to avoid us?"
"That's for you to find out."
"And what about Sydney?"
"I will take care of him while you're not here. Find out if Raines has been putting hints out about Sydney's absence. If he hasn't, you can always tell them that Sydney is away on family-business. It might also be used to explain away his injuries. He could have had an accident or been mugged while he was away. I doubt if Raines has told them that he has attacked Sydney. It will be like a poker-game between you two. I'd hate being in Raines' shoes." He wiggled his eyebrows to lighten the conversation.
Sydney had been quiet during this exchange of words. He was well aware that they were voicing all the different options and angles and all he could be doing was to rehash what they were mentioning in the first place. Apart from that, he was so tired... He slowly drifted off.
Winter evening, an ill lit road in Blue Cove, about twenty years earlier
"What do you mean, you need a little bit more time?" asked Jacob, "We agreed that it is set for next week." He scowled at his twin, Sydney, who was concentrating hard to keep the car from slipping on the icy road.
"Not now, Jacob. I don't like driving that much when the weather conditions are perfect and I definitely don't like it when it is snowing. So, if you could wait until we get home, I would appreciate that."
"No, I want to know now. What is keeping you?"
"Oh, very well! I have to trip the alarms in order that you and Catherine can get the children out and I am not sure if it will work, my knowledge on that subject is not one of the best. I've let Jarod run a simulation on it two months ago, hopefully having it disguised it enough not to raise any suspicions or draw attention, but obviously it is all untested."
"So what? You yourself said that the kid was a genius."
"Yes! But I'm not, at least not when it comes to technical preparations."
"We've got Major Charles to do all that and he followed Jarod's sim to the letter."
"Still, I say... Let's postpone it for another week. Something feels wrong about the whole situation."
"Another week! You already had two weeks to prepare!"
"It's not easy..."
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
"Yes! Just as much as you do, but unlike you I want to make absolutely sure we can get the children out safely."
"Oh, yes! I have no regard to the safety of..."
There was a "thump" at one of the rear wheels, it must have hit something solid on the icy road and the sudden lurch of the car stopped Jacob from going on. Sydney had to use all his concentration to keep the car on the road. The car swerved first to the left than to the right and didn't seem to be responding to Sydney's handling. Instead of slowing down it looked as if it was gathering speed. With a horrible realisation both men knew the car was beyond Sydney's control and the sight of a tree coming closer did nothing to dispel this. Jacob braced himself against his side of the car and Sydney let go of the wheel to protect his face. Neither heard the crunch of the impact...
When Sydney came to he couldn't understand where he was at first or how much time had passed. It was quiet and cold. His head hurt and when he touched his forehead it came away with blood. His left arm was hanging down feeling numb; he must have hit the steering wheel with it. When he slowly moved his head to the right he saw his brother Jacob leaning against the side, his eyes were closed and small trickle of blood came out of his ear. When he moved over to touch him a wrenching pain shot up his right shoulder, but he succeeded to quench the pain and touch his brother's neck. There was still a heartbeat, but it was faint.
He leaned back into the seat and closed his eyes. How long would it be before anybody found them? Even in daytime this was a lonely stretch of road and Jacob needed attention soon. He wasn't sure how serious their injuries were, but Jacob didn't look too well.
He heard the sound of two cars. He opened his eyes. Two cars from the Centre pulled up next to his and four men came out and approached the car. They opened his door first and helped him out of the car. Their handling was rough and he nearly passed out with the pain. Two others moved towards Jacob's side and got Jacob out. Sydney was put in one car and Jacob in the other. Before he lost consciousness he noticed that the two cars went different ways. Where were they taking Jacob?
Before passing out he shouted his brother's name...
Back at the Cabin
Jarod and Miss Parker hadn't noticed that Sydney had drifted off to sleep, they were too caught up in their sounding out of options, until they heard Sydney shout his brother's name.
"Now what?" said Miss Parker aloud, "not another one of his dreams again, is it?"
Jarod had moved over to Sydney, who was moving restlessly on the bed. "Parker, hand me a cold, wet cloth. He's burning up."
Miss Parker ran out of the room, muttering under her breath, "Why me? Why can't things just be simple for a change?" and returning quickly with a damp cloth, which she handed to Jarod.
Jarod pressed it to Sydney's forehead while he muttered soothing words to the older man. He had no idea what Sydney had been dreaming of, only that it had something to do with Jacob. After a little while Sydney calmed down and drifted off into an easier slumber.
"I'm going back to the Centre. At least there I know who the crazies are."
"That's not fair, Miss Parker, this is not Sydney's doing."
"I know, but maybe you can handle it, I can't," she was angry at her own helplessness, "I will be of more use at the Centre than I am here. If you can get Broots to come and join me tomorrow morning."
"I will. I will lay the "crumbs" tonight. You can reach me at this number," he scribbled a number down, "don't worry, it's a scrambled line and I will be changing it when this is over. Nobody will be able to track it down to this place. Don't come back here until Sydney's back. I will keep you informed on his progress."
"Thank you, Jarod," she said and with a small backwards glance she left the cabin.
Since Sydney was resting reasonably calm at the moment, Jarod took this opportunity to get some things ready. He refilled the water-basin with fresh water and let a face cloth soak into it. He placed a carafe of water nearby on the bed stand with two glasses. He had already cleaned the bucket of Sydney's vomit and made sure it was handy near the bed.
He went over to his computer and started typing away, neatly backdating some of the files in order to deceive the others of the Centre chronologically. Next he contacted Broots through his AOL-alias of Samson, conveying the message to him that Miss Parker expected him at the Centre in the morning. Than he sat down next to Sydney's bed to wait.
He didn't have to wait long. Sydney opened his eyes. They appeared to be clear for the first time in two days. He tried to speak, but his throat was too dry. Jarod gave him some water.
"Jarod, I need your help."
"Anything, Sydney."
The older man was clearly embarrassed and blushed, "I need to relieve myself and I don't want to soil myself or the bed. I think I..."
Understanding dawned in Jarod's eyes. It was characteristic of Sydney's almost catlike care about his personal hygiene. Jarod helped him out of bed and over to the bathroom. Sydney was so weak that he couldn't have made it on his own. He had to sit down to relieve himself. Jarod had to stay and keep him upright and clean him afterwards. Although Sydney thanked him for assisting him, it was obvious that the extent of the humiliation he felt in needing assistance in this was beyond words. Still, he felt, it was better than soiling himself.
When he passed the mirror he saw himself reflected in it and he was shocked at the chance. Unruly, unkempt damp hair plastered to a hollow-eyed, sunken pale face and sporting a stubble of over three days old. The bruise on his forehead, the dark circles under his eyes and the fever spots on his cheeks provided the only colour on his face. He nearly collapsed in Jarod's strong, supporting arms.
"Hey, don't overdo it, Sydney," gasped Jarod when he kept them from falling. When he laid him back on the bed Sydney closed his eyes nearly immediately, too tired to keep himself from staying awake. Fortunately, this time it was a dreamless sleep.
Some time later
The drug started to demand his price. Severe cramping of the abdominal muscles wrenched him from his sleep. Dry retching turned into vomiting into the bucket Jarod held under his face. One minute his blood felt like a thousand ants crawling under his skin, the next minute it felt like fire coursing through his body. His body demanded another shot of the drug, his mind fought against it. Sweat was pouring from every pore of his body and drenched the bed in no time.
One moment he was shivering with indescribable cold, the next he was trying to escape the heat of fever. His heart was racing out of control and Jarod feared for a heart attack. The pain that ran through his body and set fire to every nerve of his being made him cry out. He was shaking badly now and totally unaware of his surroundings. Jarod just held him close, rocking him softly to and fro, knowing that this was the crucial time that would determine whether Sydney's craving for the drug was too great, that he was going to make it alright or die trying to shake it off.
Jarod hoped he was going to be all right. Sydney wasn't that young anymore and his body did take a severe beating the last couple of days. His previous weakness proved that.
It took a long time before the shaking subsided and shallow breaths slowed close to a normal intake of breath. Jarod eased Sydney's body gently to the bed and covered him with the blankets. He was sleeping peacefully now and it seemed that he had the worst behind him. Jarod allowed himself to stretch his aching muscles and take a rest. Jarod's own nerves were frayed to the bone with worry. He dropped his head on his aching arms, resting on the bed.
Evening
He woke up to the light touch of Sydney's hand on his own hand. He looked up and saw Sydney giving him a weak smile. "Thank you, Jarod," Sydney whispered weakly, his voice hoarse, "I don't think I could have made it without your help."
"You better thank Miss Parker and Broots, if they hadn't found you so quickly, my being here wouldn't have made a difference."
"I know and I will," he coughed and Jarod helped him sit up to drink some water. By the way he was leaning heavily into Jarod, Jarod could feel how much the whole ordeal had drained him. He had no idea how soon this weakness would disappear. Sydney fell back on the pillows again and closed his eyes briefly.
"How are you feeling now?" asked Jarod.
"Weak, heavy. As if recovering from a bad flu, but better than before. Clearer, I think, as well. God knows how long it will be before the craving for the drug will leave me, for I can feel my body demanding it. Hungry as well, I think." Although there was weakness in his voice and around the eyes, there was also a glint of the old Sydney there. A small smile appeared at the corner of his lips.
Jarod's smile was a big boyish grin, "I get you something to eat, don't go away." He rushed out of the room and left Sydney on his own. Yes, he was feeling better now, but he also knew he was weak as a pussycat and the old fears of being caught again or Jarod being caught while he was tending to his former mentor gripped him with icy fear. "No," he said to himself, "stop being defeatist it wouldn't do him, Jarod or the whole situation any good I didn't get to this age or lived through all the hardship to be giving up now. Have to get a grip on myself."
When Jarod returned he found Sydney dozing, but awake when he approached the bed. He had a tray with him with a steaming bowl of broth on it. "I know you hate this, but I think I will have to feed you. You don't want the soup to be lying in bed next to you, would you?"
Sydney gave him one of his half smiles and let himself be fed.
After he had eaten, Sydney asked Jarod what he had been doing lately with himself, if the outside world had taught him anything, and so forth.
Jarod realised that Sydney was partly asking this out of genuine interest and partly to fill void. Jarod's voice while he told Sydney about his last escapade worked very soothingly on the older man's nerves. It kept the craving at bay for a while and the nightmares in the background. Sydney could remember how his mother, before the war, would read to him and his brother Jacob before they went to sleep. And slowly her voice was superimposed over Jarod's. And with a smile on his face he drifted off to sleep.
Jarod covered him with the blanket and smiled, wondering if he could have told Sydney a fairy tale instead of a true anecdote and still get the same effect. No, his voice might at the moment only have been needed as comfort, but he respected Sydney enough not to treat him like a child just because he was momentarily weak. He walked into the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
A couple of times that night Sydney would awaken, disoriented and hugging himself close when his muscles contracted and his blood itched with the craving for the drug. One minute he would be quite lucid and the next shaking with fever and being at places from the past. But every time Jarod was there to comfort and soothe him, wiping the sweat off his brow, holding him close, using his voice to soothe the mental anguish, giving him water to drink to stop him from dehydrating and as the night progressed these episodes were further between.
Jarod believed that given time and no reintroduction to the drug Sydney should be fine. His main concern now was to get Sydney's strength up to par.
Early morning
When morning came Jarod was happy to notice that Sydney's breathing and sleep seemed to have become regular. His temperature had dropped to near normal, as did his heart rate. Sydney opened his eyes when Jarod went through these motions of checking on him and Jarod was again happily greeted with normal, clear, though tired, eyes and Sydney's soft smile. "Seems like you are going to be okay, Syd." Sydney nodded, not quite trusting the strength of his voice. "Fancy a bit of breakfast?"
"Some water first, please," croaked Sydney, his voice sounding like his throat was treated with sandpaper.
After they had eaten, Sydney expressed the wish to visit the bathroom and although he felt better than he had in days his body was still weak and he needed Jarod's assistance again. "Luckily Miss Parker isn't here to assist me," he quipped weakly, "I am not so sure which one of us would have the biggest fit or feel the most embarrassed. Pity she didn't go into medicine. The medical world lost a tremendous asset."
"Sydney, you can't be serious! You must still have a touch of the fever. Miss Parker, a nurse?"
"No, I said she is a loss to the medical world. Can you imagine her staring down at the poor, unsuspecting patients? I bet she can make the dead walk with one of her stares. Maybe we should bottle it and sell it?"
Both men laughed.
Jarod helped him to have a shower by holding him up, Sydney's sense of hygiene being a stronger force than the need to lie down. Afterwards Jarod changed the bedding while Sydney slumped in the cosy chair next to the bed, wrapped in a huge bath towel, but looking better after the shower. He let Jarod tuck him under the blankets again after Jarod had finished changing, still too worn-out to argue against it.
Once having settled Sydney down Jarod told him to get some rest, but Sydney, although tired and knowing that Jarod was right, didn't feel so inclined. After being asleep, so he rationalised, for nearly two days was enough for any man. Plus, he didn't relish the thought of going to sleep and meeting the ghosts from his past.
He laid his head back against the pillow and observed Jarod for a while before he spoke up, "Would it have worked though?"
"Excuse me?" asked Jarod, puzzled by Sydney's train of thought.
"The escape from the Centre!"
"Ah! Is that what's been preying on your mind. I don't know, Syd. It could have, if we had been able to hide from the Centre long enough, I guess. We will never know, will we? It didn't happen and the rest is speculation. Mrs Parker and Jacob are dead and my father is still on the run. This is, what, after twenty-odd years? The main players are dead and my father's memory on this is sketchy. Why? You want to attempt something like the other three thought up?" A twinge of sadness and regret passed Sydney's eyes.
Jarod continued, misinterpreting the look in Sydney's eyes, "You're finally feeling regret for working for the Centre for so long? Or the experiments you have conducted for them?" He instantly regretted his words the minute he had voiced them as he saw the look of anguish on Sydney's face, "Sorry, Syd, I didn't want to say that."
"I know, Jarod, but you meant it though."
Jarod looked down, "Why, Sydney? After all these years?"
"It's something I should have done years ago, I admit that. We can't turn the clock back nor undo the wrongs that have been done. But if there is a possible change of success, I think we should try it..." he nearly added "again" but thought the better of it. After all, his part had been very small in the earlier attempt. "Catherine Parker had reason to believe it could work, I don't see why it shouldn't now. This time we have more experience with it and the workings of the Centre."
Jarod looked surprised, "You knew about her plans?" and Sydney nodded, "Does Miss Parker know that you knew?"
"No! At first I couldn't tell anybody. Then, when you escaped and the three of us were assigned to track you down, I couldn't tell either Miss Parker or Broots for fear of being pulled off the assignment or have an "accident". Now she will kill me if I told her I knew all along what her mother had been planning. She already tried it once when I merely hinted at it. I do not savour a second experience of the kind." Unconsciously he touched his neck in remembrance, "She is much stronger than you would expect at first sight." He lay back on the pillow, clearly exhausted.
Jarod became concerned, "You should rest for a while, Sydney, and we can talk later.
Sydney nodded and closed his eyes wearily.
Late morning
The remainder of the morning Sydney had slept soundly and peacefully, permitting Jarod to catch up on some much needed rest as well. Normally he could do with little catnaps, but the last three days had been very tiring for him as well. He had fallen asleep in the chair near the bed and his cramped muscles were shouting their protests. He looked over at Sydney and still found him soundly asleep.
Carefully he got up and moved to the kitchen to make some tea and see what he could do for food. Luckily Miss Parker had her cupboards stocked up pretty well with tinned food and the freezer had enough meat, vegetables and bread to last for another week or so.
When he returned, Sydney had woken up as well and seemed much better. The lines in his face had smoothed out some, the fever spots were not as pronounced any more and the bruise on his forehead was becoming less prominent. Jarod wondered how his ribs were faring and voiced that question. "Much better, painful, but bearable," was the reply. Jarod wanted to check on it himself, but if Sydney said it was bearable it could wait for a bit longer. His voice was stronger now as well, so, Jarod knew he was on the road to recovery.
"Tea will be ready shortly. Hungry?" Sydney shook his head.
When Jarod came back from the kitchen, Sydney had propped himself up against the pillows. Big droplets of sweat were on his forehead and it was obvious that moving his upper torso and taking deep breaths caused him discomfort, which he pooh-poohed away for the moment, but otherwise he seemed fine. They drank their tea in silence, Sydney holding his cup with two hands, drawing comfort from the warmth of the object and remarkably spilling little.
After they had drunk their tea, Sydney allowed Jarod to examine his chest, wincing at Jarod's gentle touch. "It's definitely bruised, to what extent I can't say without an x-ray, but they don't appear to be broken. When you were in the throes of the drug fever you didn't cough up blood or seemed to be in more pain than the craving expected. And when you moved about earlier your breathing was shallow, but reasonable normal. It could still be a hairline fracture or a small tear on one of the muscles. We should get you to a hospital to get it checked further and to let it be taped up. You will be in some discomfort for a while, though."
"About last night..." started Sydney when Jarod had sat down again.
"You mean about another planned escape?"
"Yes."
"I'm not sure, Syd. Yes, I think it might be possible, but the Centre is like a fortress nowadays, it will not be easy. How many children or people will be involved?"
"At present: 6 children under the age of twelve, this includes Ms Parker's baby brother and two in Raines' wing. I have two teenagers under my care and Raines another two, although, he had those two boys for some time now. I don't know how cooperative they will be or how much under his influence. Four adults: who had been homeless, as far as I know, before the came to the Centre.
Than there's Angelo, we can't leave him there. The boy has suffered enough as it is. If we can get Broots to join forces with us, we also have to think of Debbie. If we are going to take them all, it will be 16 in total."
Jarod got up from his chair, "Not an easy task, quite a lot of people involved." He stood in thought, "What are your plans with them afterwards?"
"Apart from baby Parker, of three we know they have parents, we just have to find them in the Databases..."
"As you have been able to find my father!"
Sydney ignored the remark for the moment, "...two others are actual orphans and of the four remaining... I have no clue. They don't talk about their parents, wards or otherwise. They give no indication that they want to go home. (-"Like I did!"-) It is disturbing that all four are under Raines' supervision."
Jarod nodded, he could well remember how disturbed his clone was.
Sydney continued, "If we can get the other three united with their families, that would be a good thing. We could spirit the others away and hide out in the mountains, set up a school or home there. Catherine Parker had arranged to take them somewhere, but I don't know where. Besides, if they had already figured out what was going on, they might also know the location of Mrs Parker's destination." Too late Sydney realised he might have said too much, damn his addled brain and hoped Jarod hadn't noticed the slip-up.
Bad luck, Jarod wheeled on Sydney, "How much did you know or were you involved in the earlier attempt, Sydney?"
"Not a lot," tried Sydney.
Jarod looked hard on him, moved over to the bed and nearly lifted Sydney up by the shoulders, "Of all the co-conspirators they did nothing to you? They even let you continue working at the Centre? (-He was shaking Sydney now, who winced in pain and tried to pry Jarod's hands loose, to no effect-) How come, Sydney? Were you the one who betrayed them?"
"No, Jarod, I wasn't, you have to believe me," he was nearly shouting now, the pain nearly blanking him out, "Jarod, let go of me, you're hurting me!"
Jarod realised what he was doing and let go of Sydney's shoulders, he still wasn't convinced and looked with contempt at Sydney who was painfully trying to catch his breath, each intake another lungful of searing pain. "If you didn't do it, than who did?"
"I don't know, Jarod, I honestly don't know. I could never betray them! I could never betray Jacob, my own brother! Surviving the Camp together, dragging him through Europe and than over to America! Or Catherine Parker, whom I loved like a sister. Major Charles I didn't know, he was an outsider, I think Catherine brought him in, but he was going to help the children escape, that was enough for me. And finding out about him later, I couldn't believe he was the one who betrayed the plan. Oh, I had my doubts in the beginning, but couldn't believe it then and I still can't believe it now. I don't know why they left me alone, maybe they didn't know about me or maybe they needed me at the Centre to teach you. You have to believe me, Jarod, please!"
Jarod sat down again and looked with sorrow at Sydney, "Than why didn't you never tell me about my father?"
"I didn't know he was your father and I don't think he knew that one of the children he was rescuing was his own son and when I found out he was your father, would you have believed me if I told you that once I tried to get you of the Centre, after chasing you for such a long time?"
"No, I guess I wouldn't. But why did you stay at the Centre?"
"I had to take care of you and Ms Parker, I had promised her mother."
"It's all very hard for me to take in. And why would you want to try again now, after all these years?"
"It has been on my mind for some time now. Up till now I've always found excuses not to go ahead. You might think I'm a coward and quite possibly I am. But I can't sit idly by anymore, the policies in the Centre are getting worse and I'm not getting any younger." He coughed and pressed his left arm to his side, he coughed again and seemed to be having problems trying to catch his breath.
Jarod jumped up immediately, holding Sydney, trying to make him feel more comfortable, but Sydney had problems taken breaths, pushing away from Jarod. Racking coughs tearing him apart while he lay back against the pillows, finally it subsided and he leaned back exhausted. His hands gripping the sheets, while Jarod let him drink some water.
"I'm sorry for shaking you earlier," said Jarod, "It must have set this spell on."
Sydney moved his hand in dismissal, still unable to talk.
"Maybe you should rest a bit, we can talk later." Sydney nodded and closed his eyes.
Late afternoon
During the afternoon Jarod sat idly by, watching Sydney, trying to make head or tail of what he had just learned. Sydney had his eyes closed, but only dozed. This time it was the pain in his chest that kept him from dropping off to sleep, at least the rest would do him some good. Jarod was wondering if Sydney hadn't been more injured than was obvious at first glance, maybe Jarod's shaking him had rattled something in his chest. But than again, Sydney seemed as fine as could possibly be after the fevers had passed. Could he be faking it? Jarod looked closely at Sydney without waking him out of his slumber. No, the lines on his face spoke of pain even in sleep, that couldn't be faked. Besides, he gave a wry grin, Sydney had never been good at faking or lying that well. Jarod was now determined to get him to a hospital as soon as was safely possible.
Ms Parker phoned later on informing about Sydney and thanking Jarod to get Broots to the Centre. It was to Broots' credit that he grasped the situation quite quickly and together, not to mention Jarod's trail of "breadcrumbs", they had come up with a plausible story to explain their absence and the continued absence of Sydney. As was expected, Raines had come up with an explanation as to why he and the others were locked in the basement and hadn't breathed a word of his part in Sydney's disappearance. Ms Parker had to watch him and her step. Raines could turn out to be a rather dangerous person at present.
When she asked after Sydney, Jarod told her that he was doing fine and that the fevers had passed, but also that he was still too weak to be driven over to a hospital to be examined. It might take another day yet to be on the safe side. Ms Parker was glad that he was going to be all right and rang off, leaving Jarod alone with his thoughts and Sydney.
In his heart of hearts he couldn't believe that Sydney could have been so callous as to betraying his friends, yet a little twinge of doubt remained. If it hadn't been Sydney, than whom could it have been? Had there been a fifth person involved? He was determined to ask Sydney about it.
As to the escape plan, could it be conceivable to make another attempt? And if it worked, how could they insure to stay out of the Centre's clutches?
A little later in the afternoon Sydney arose from his slumber, pain was still etched in his features and he favoured his left side, but he assured Jarod that he was all right.
After he had given Sydney some water, Jarod asked him if in the earlier attempt a fifth person might have been involved. Sydney assured him there hadn't been, at least not as far as he knew. Both men were silent.
When Sydney had to go to the bathroom his breathing became more laboured and with a look of surprise at Jarod and without a single sound, he collapsed. "That's it," thought Jarod, "I have to get him to a hospital now. This can't wait any longer. At least he is more or less free of the drug and if they didn't take a too close a look at his forearm he should be all right."
He checked to see if the collapse had been due to a heart attack and finding Sydney's heart still beating strong, but rapidly, he carried Sydney towards the bedroom where he per functionally dressed him. He didn't know how far he had to drive to get to a hospital, which wasn't too close to the Centre and it wouldn't do to let Sydney catch pneumonia on the way. He checked that he had a doctor-ID with him and in haste he bundled Sydney into the car, trying to make him as comfortable as possible and drove off.
Title: Haunting memories 2
Author: Giton
Rating: R, I guess, some Angst involved
Spoilers: Maybe Season 4, definitely "Junk"
Keywords: Sydney's past is catching up
Summary: Sequel from Haunting Memories, probably part 3 will be the conclusion
Haunting Memories 2
By Giton
The Centre, Sydney's office
Gingerly he sat down behind his desk. It had been three weeks now since Raines' attack on him, but his injuries were still smarting. True, they were diminishing by the day and it shouldn't be before long that they would be ghosts from the past.
Ghosts from the past, indeed. The nightmares of the Camp still haunted him. That was another depressing side effect of the drugs Raines had administered to him. As if the craving for the drug that again ran through his body hadn't been enough, the stowed away memories of his childhood came and visited him every night again. Depriving him of much needed sleep and rest.
For years he had been able to suppress those memories, now they seemed to be back with a vengeance. He had enough self-control to stave the memories and the craving off during the day and not let it influence the efficiency of his work, but during the night he had no control over them.
He gave a derisive chortle.
His work! Sometimes he wondered if his work didn't have the same overtones as the experiments they had done on him and his brother and countless other children in Dachau. Over the years he had convinced himself that the experiments he had been doing for the Centre where "humane" and bore little resemblance to experiments performed in the Death camp, but part of him knew he was only deluding himself. About twenty years ago he, Jacob, Major Charles and Catherine Parker, but mainly the other three, had devised a plan to spirit the children away from the Centre. To hide them from the Centre, maybe even try and reunite them with their families. But the plan had gone horribly wrong. Catherine had allegedly killed herself or had been reportedly killed by major Charles -the stories and allegations became confusing and the evidence was worse-, the latter than disappearing and Jacob met with an "accident", which left him comatose. If it hadn't been for his enormous luck he could have been killed in the same "accident", but he had been valuable for the Centre then and had survived.
Than there had been Jarod, Monica (-little Miss Parker-) and all the other children, who couldn't be left alone with the Monsters from the Centre. And so he had plodded on. Trying to keep most of the children safe and in his care, still conduct the experiments the Centre demanded him to do and try and keep his own sanity.
For some time now he had been having doubts about continuing working for the Centre and not finding any solutions how he could safely end it without endangering people, himself or the children and so he had let it slip by. But in the last three weeks he had been reviewing the situation, partly of remembered dreams and partly of guilt. Implementing his resolution was another kettle of fish.
He shifted in his seat and was again painfully remembered that he wasn't his old self yet. Raines would have been happy to observe every single wince and twinge, especially since they had been able to come up with a plausible explanation for Sydney's absence and stopped Raines from further scheming; for the moment anyway. His thoughts drifted back to three weeks ago...
Cabin near the lake in Blue Cove, three weeks earlier
After he had been attacked by Raines and injected with a similar drug that had been injected into his system twenty years prior, Miss Parker and Broots had whisked him out of the Centre to this cabin. Miss Parker had then sent Broots to ground. Later Jarod had joined them. Together they had watched over him while his system was fighting the drug.
The next day he was in a reasonable, albeit weakened, state and had an argument with Miss Parker to get Jarod back to the Centre again. That day he had felt obliged to go against Miss Parker's wishes to do so immediately and when Jarod returned from the kitchen with some food and coffee, he found the two in complete silence in the bedroom.
Jarod's eyes twinkled mischievously, "Have I missed something?" The other two stayed silent. "Let me guess. Miss Parker wants to send me back to the Centre immediately and you, Sydney, don't agree with that. Considering the situation I can understand this and appreciate the feeling. But let us eat first before the eggs and coffee grows cold and I'll explain to you how the both of you can be right and wrong at the same time."
"Eavesdropping again, Ratboy?"
"Don't need to, you two are like open books to me."
Miss Parker frowned, than shrugged her shoulder and moved over to get a plate with food and a mug of coffee before moving to the other side of the room to eat hers in relative silence.
Jarod had made a fried-egg sandwich for Sydney and had cut it into squares. Sydney looked at it with disdain. Squares were for children! When he picked up one of the squares he had to concede that eating squares was less humiliating than trying to eat an open sandwich with knife and fork while his hands were shaking so badly.
After their lunch, which Jarod described as "less fun than a waiting room at the morgue," Miss Parker asked him to make good on his word and explain his earlier remark.
"It's like this," Jarod started, pacing the floor and unconsciously (-although Miss Parker noticed-) taking on Sydney-like mannerisms when he was in lecturing mode, "Sydney is right. You can't take me in... (-Sydney gave one of his half-smiles-) ...immediately. (-Sydney's smile disappeared, to reappear on Miss Parker's face-) At the moment Sydney is in no condition to defend himself, mentally or physically, especially against Raines. If his condition worsens again, Miss Parker won't be able to deal with it on her own, a regular Florence Nightingale she's not (-unconsciously all three nodded assent-) and if he's in the Centre's infirmary... So, we'll have to wait, at least for a couple more days, until he gets most of his strength up. And it doesn't mean," he rounded on Sydney with a mischievous grin, "that you can fake feeling too ill for an extended period. For one: you're not very good at faking and two: Remember: I was a doctor once.
Taking me in now, will leave Sydney wide open to attack and might give Raines the opportunity to do away with him, probably even you and me; yes, maybe even me," Jarod answered when he saw the questioning look on Miss Parker's face, "Just because we were there to get Sydney out of trouble and know what Raines did. I don't know to what lengths he will go to protect himself. It would make the whole exercise of rescuing Sydney in the first place a waste of time and effort."
He now turned to Sydney and looked at him with an almost wistful smile, "However much I appreciate your thoughts of not turning me in, and believe me I rather you hold on to those feelings, you will have to make the effort! (-Miss Parker frowned, not quite following the reasoning behind this, but glancing over at Sydney and seeing sadness appear in his eyes she reckoned that he did-) Not trying to make the effort, both of you, will strengthen their suppositions and give them the excuse to "cleanse" you both. I am willing to bet that the wheels have been set in motion already to implicate all of you, including Broots, in a conspiracy against the Centre."
When he looked at Sydney he saw that the older man was trying to formulate a protest against it all, probably thinking of a "honourable sacrifice" of some sort. "I know you would rather face them, Sydney, than starting the hunt again. But it is not only you; you have to be concerned about, but also Miss Parker and Broots. Even if they only implicate you, how long do you think Miss Parker and Broots will survive another hiccup in the Centre? Or they may even believe that they might have anything to do with whatever I can cook up? Thought of that yet? No, I believe you haven't."
The room was silent, everyone alone with their own thoughts, seeing the reasoning behind it all.
"So, what do we do now?" asked Miss Parker, "You have brought up some interesting points and thinking about it rationally I might have some additional arguments to coincide with yours. You are right about Sydney's condition," she glanced over at Sydney whose face was almost as pale as the pillow his head rested on, "I have no guarantee that his condition will not worsen again. Also, I really don't want the Centre to know about this place. On the other hand I can't stay away from the Centre too long without a good excuse, but how can I explain the absence of Sydney and maybe even Broots? I forgot to ask him where I might be able to reach him."
"Leave Broots to me," said Jarod, "When you are ready to go back, even if Sydney isn't, I make sure Broots will be there. If possible I can provide you with "breadcrumbs" to make them believe you were following one of my trails."
"Is that how you've been able to avoid us?"
"That's for you to find out."
"And what about Sydney?"
"I will take care of him while you're not here. Find out if Raines has been putting hints out about Sydney's absence. If he hasn't, you can always tell them that Sydney is away on family-business. It might also be used to explain away his injuries. He could have had an accident or been mugged while he was away. I doubt if Raines has told them that he has attacked Sydney. It will be like a poker-game between you two. I'd hate being in Raines' shoes." He wiggled his eyebrows to lighten the conversation.
Sydney had been quiet during this exchange of words. He was well aware that they were voicing all the different options and angles and all he could be doing was to rehash what they were mentioning in the first place. Apart from that, he was so tired... He slowly drifted off.
Winter evening, an ill lit road in Blue Cove, about twenty years earlier
"What do you mean, you need a little bit more time?" asked Jacob, "We agreed that it is set for next week." He scowled at his twin, Sydney, who was concentrating hard to keep the car from slipping on the icy road.
"Not now, Jacob. I don't like driving that much when the weather conditions are perfect and I definitely don't like it when it is snowing. So, if you could wait until we get home, I would appreciate that."
"No, I want to know now. What is keeping you?"
"Oh, very well! I have to trip the alarms in order that you and Catherine can get the children out and I am not sure if it will work, my knowledge on that subject is not one of the best. I've let Jarod run a simulation on it two months ago, hopefully having it disguised it enough not to raise any suspicions or draw attention, but obviously it is all untested."
"So what? You yourself said that the kid was a genius."
"Yes! But I'm not, at least not when it comes to technical preparations."
"We've got Major Charles to do all that and he followed Jarod's sim to the letter."
"Still, I say... Let's postpone it for another week. Something feels wrong about the whole situation."
"Another week! You already had two weeks to prepare!"
"It's not easy..."
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
"Yes! Just as much as you do, but unlike you I want to make absolutely sure we can get the children out safely."
"Oh, yes! I have no regard to the safety of..."
There was a "thump" at one of the rear wheels, it must have hit something solid on the icy road and the sudden lurch of the car stopped Jacob from going on. Sydney had to use all his concentration to keep the car on the road. The car swerved first to the left than to the right and didn't seem to be responding to Sydney's handling. Instead of slowing down it looked as if it was gathering speed. With a horrible realisation both men knew the car was beyond Sydney's control and the sight of a tree coming closer did nothing to dispel this. Jacob braced himself against his side of the car and Sydney let go of the wheel to protect his face. Neither heard the crunch of the impact...
When Sydney came to he couldn't understand where he was at first or how much time had passed. It was quiet and cold. His head hurt and when he touched his forehead it came away with blood. His left arm was hanging down feeling numb; he must have hit the steering wheel with it. When he slowly moved his head to the right he saw his brother Jacob leaning against the side, his eyes were closed and small trickle of blood came out of his ear. When he moved over to touch him a wrenching pain shot up his right shoulder, but he succeeded to quench the pain and touch his brother's neck. There was still a heartbeat, but it was faint.
He leaned back into the seat and closed his eyes. How long would it be before anybody found them? Even in daytime this was a lonely stretch of road and Jacob needed attention soon. He wasn't sure how serious their injuries were, but Jacob didn't look too well.
He heard the sound of two cars. He opened his eyes. Two cars from the Centre pulled up next to his and four men came out and approached the car. They opened his door first and helped him out of the car. Their handling was rough and he nearly passed out with the pain. Two others moved towards Jacob's side and got Jacob out. Sydney was put in one car and Jacob in the other. Before he lost consciousness he noticed that the two cars went different ways. Where were they taking Jacob?
Before passing out he shouted his brother's name...
Back at the Cabin
Jarod and Miss Parker hadn't noticed that Sydney had drifted off to sleep, they were too caught up in their sounding out of options, until they heard Sydney shout his brother's name.
"Now what?" said Miss Parker aloud, "not another one of his dreams again, is it?"
Jarod had moved over to Sydney, who was moving restlessly on the bed. "Parker, hand me a cold, wet cloth. He's burning up."
Miss Parker ran out of the room, muttering under her breath, "Why me? Why can't things just be simple for a change?" and returning quickly with a damp cloth, which she handed to Jarod.
Jarod pressed it to Sydney's forehead while he muttered soothing words to the older man. He had no idea what Sydney had been dreaming of, only that it had something to do with Jacob. After a little while Sydney calmed down and drifted off into an easier slumber.
"I'm going back to the Centre. At least there I know who the crazies are."
"That's not fair, Miss Parker, this is not Sydney's doing."
"I know, but maybe you can handle it, I can't," she was angry at her own helplessness, "I will be of more use at the Centre than I am here. If you can get Broots to come and join me tomorrow morning."
"I will. I will lay the "crumbs" tonight. You can reach me at this number," he scribbled a number down, "don't worry, it's a scrambled line and I will be changing it when this is over. Nobody will be able to track it down to this place. Don't come back here until Sydney's back. I will keep you informed on his progress."
"Thank you, Jarod," she said and with a small backwards glance she left the cabin.
Since Sydney was resting reasonably calm at the moment, Jarod took this opportunity to get some things ready. He refilled the water-basin with fresh water and let a face cloth soak into it. He placed a carafe of water nearby on the bed stand with two glasses. He had already cleaned the bucket of Sydney's vomit and made sure it was handy near the bed.
He went over to his computer and started typing away, neatly backdating some of the files in order to deceive the others of the Centre chronologically. Next he contacted Broots through his AOL-alias of Samson, conveying the message to him that Miss Parker expected him at the Centre in the morning. Than he sat down next to Sydney's bed to wait.
He didn't have to wait long. Sydney opened his eyes. They appeared to be clear for the first time in two days. He tried to speak, but his throat was too dry. Jarod gave him some water.
"Jarod, I need your help."
"Anything, Sydney."
The older man was clearly embarrassed and blushed, "I need to relieve myself and I don't want to soil myself or the bed. I think I..."
Understanding dawned in Jarod's eyes. It was characteristic of Sydney's almost catlike care about his personal hygiene. Jarod helped him out of bed and over to the bathroom. Sydney was so weak that he couldn't have made it on his own. He had to sit down to relieve himself. Jarod had to stay and keep him upright and clean him afterwards. Although Sydney thanked him for assisting him, it was obvious that the extent of the humiliation he felt in needing assistance in this was beyond words. Still, he felt, it was better than soiling himself.
When he passed the mirror he saw himself reflected in it and he was shocked at the chance. Unruly, unkempt damp hair plastered to a hollow-eyed, sunken pale face and sporting a stubble of over three days old. The bruise on his forehead, the dark circles under his eyes and the fever spots on his cheeks provided the only colour on his face. He nearly collapsed in Jarod's strong, supporting arms.
"Hey, don't overdo it, Sydney," gasped Jarod when he kept them from falling. When he laid him back on the bed Sydney closed his eyes nearly immediately, too tired to keep himself from staying awake. Fortunately, this time it was a dreamless sleep.
Some time later
The drug started to demand his price. Severe cramping of the abdominal muscles wrenched him from his sleep. Dry retching turned into vomiting into the bucket Jarod held under his face. One minute his blood felt like a thousand ants crawling under his skin, the next minute it felt like fire coursing through his body. His body demanded another shot of the drug, his mind fought against it. Sweat was pouring from every pore of his body and drenched the bed in no time.
One moment he was shivering with indescribable cold, the next he was trying to escape the heat of fever. His heart was racing out of control and Jarod feared for a heart attack. The pain that ran through his body and set fire to every nerve of his being made him cry out. He was shaking badly now and totally unaware of his surroundings. Jarod just held him close, rocking him softly to and fro, knowing that this was the crucial time that would determine whether Sydney's craving for the drug was too great, that he was going to make it alright or die trying to shake it off.
Jarod hoped he was going to be all right. Sydney wasn't that young anymore and his body did take a severe beating the last couple of days. His previous weakness proved that.
It took a long time before the shaking subsided and shallow breaths slowed close to a normal intake of breath. Jarod eased Sydney's body gently to the bed and covered him with the blankets. He was sleeping peacefully now and it seemed that he had the worst behind him. Jarod allowed himself to stretch his aching muscles and take a rest. Jarod's own nerves were frayed to the bone with worry. He dropped his head on his aching arms, resting on the bed.
Evening
He woke up to the light touch of Sydney's hand on his own hand. He looked up and saw Sydney giving him a weak smile. "Thank you, Jarod," Sydney whispered weakly, his voice hoarse, "I don't think I could have made it without your help."
"You better thank Miss Parker and Broots, if they hadn't found you so quickly, my being here wouldn't have made a difference."
"I know and I will," he coughed and Jarod helped him sit up to drink some water. By the way he was leaning heavily into Jarod, Jarod could feel how much the whole ordeal had drained him. He had no idea how soon this weakness would disappear. Sydney fell back on the pillows again and closed his eyes briefly.
"How are you feeling now?" asked Jarod.
"Weak, heavy. As if recovering from a bad flu, but better than before. Clearer, I think, as well. God knows how long it will be before the craving for the drug will leave me, for I can feel my body demanding it. Hungry as well, I think." Although there was weakness in his voice and around the eyes, there was also a glint of the old Sydney there. A small smile appeared at the corner of his lips.
Jarod's smile was a big boyish grin, "I get you something to eat, don't go away." He rushed out of the room and left Sydney on his own. Yes, he was feeling better now, but he also knew he was weak as a pussycat and the old fears of being caught again or Jarod being caught while he was tending to his former mentor gripped him with icy fear. "No," he said to himself, "stop being defeatist it wouldn't do him, Jarod or the whole situation any good I didn't get to this age or lived through all the hardship to be giving up now. Have to get a grip on myself."
When Jarod returned he found Sydney dozing, but awake when he approached the bed. He had a tray with him with a steaming bowl of broth on it. "I know you hate this, but I think I will have to feed you. You don't want the soup to be lying in bed next to you, would you?"
Sydney gave him one of his half smiles and let himself be fed.
After he had eaten, Sydney asked Jarod what he had been doing lately with himself, if the outside world had taught him anything, and so forth.
Jarod realised that Sydney was partly asking this out of genuine interest and partly to fill void. Jarod's voice while he told Sydney about his last escapade worked very soothingly on the older man's nerves. It kept the craving at bay for a while and the nightmares in the background. Sydney could remember how his mother, before the war, would read to him and his brother Jacob before they went to sleep. And slowly her voice was superimposed over Jarod's. And with a smile on his face he drifted off to sleep.
Jarod covered him with the blanket and smiled, wondering if he could have told Sydney a fairy tale instead of a true anecdote and still get the same effect. No, his voice might at the moment only have been needed as comfort, but he respected Sydney enough not to treat him like a child just because he was momentarily weak. He walked into the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
A couple of times that night Sydney would awaken, disoriented and hugging himself close when his muscles contracted and his blood itched with the craving for the drug. One minute he would be quite lucid and the next shaking with fever and being at places from the past. But every time Jarod was there to comfort and soothe him, wiping the sweat off his brow, holding him close, using his voice to soothe the mental anguish, giving him water to drink to stop him from dehydrating and as the night progressed these episodes were further between.
Jarod believed that given time and no reintroduction to the drug Sydney should be fine. His main concern now was to get Sydney's strength up to par.
Early morning
When morning came Jarod was happy to notice that Sydney's breathing and sleep seemed to have become regular. His temperature had dropped to near normal, as did his heart rate. Sydney opened his eyes when Jarod went through these motions of checking on him and Jarod was again happily greeted with normal, clear, though tired, eyes and Sydney's soft smile. "Seems like you are going to be okay, Syd." Sydney nodded, not quite trusting the strength of his voice. "Fancy a bit of breakfast?"
"Some water first, please," croaked Sydney, his voice sounding like his throat was treated with sandpaper.
After they had eaten, Sydney expressed the wish to visit the bathroom and although he felt better than he had in days his body was still weak and he needed Jarod's assistance again. "Luckily Miss Parker isn't here to assist me," he quipped weakly, "I am not so sure which one of us would have the biggest fit or feel the most embarrassed. Pity she didn't go into medicine. The medical world lost a tremendous asset."
"Sydney, you can't be serious! You must still have a touch of the fever. Miss Parker, a nurse?"
"No, I said she is a loss to the medical world. Can you imagine her staring down at the poor, unsuspecting patients? I bet she can make the dead walk with one of her stares. Maybe we should bottle it and sell it?"
Both men laughed.
Jarod helped him to have a shower by holding him up, Sydney's sense of hygiene being a stronger force than the need to lie down. Afterwards Jarod changed the bedding while Sydney slumped in the cosy chair next to the bed, wrapped in a huge bath towel, but looking better after the shower. He let Jarod tuck him under the blankets again after Jarod had finished changing, still too worn-out to argue against it.
Once having settled Sydney down Jarod told him to get some rest, but Sydney, although tired and knowing that Jarod was right, didn't feel so inclined. After being asleep, so he rationalised, for nearly two days was enough for any man. Plus, he didn't relish the thought of going to sleep and meeting the ghosts from his past.
He laid his head back against the pillow and observed Jarod for a while before he spoke up, "Would it have worked though?"
"Excuse me?" asked Jarod, puzzled by Sydney's train of thought.
"The escape from the Centre!"
"Ah! Is that what's been preying on your mind. I don't know, Syd. It could have, if we had been able to hide from the Centre long enough, I guess. We will never know, will we? It didn't happen and the rest is speculation. Mrs Parker and Jacob are dead and my father is still on the run. This is, what, after twenty-odd years? The main players are dead and my father's memory on this is sketchy. Why? You want to attempt something like the other three thought up?" A twinge of sadness and regret passed Sydney's eyes.
Jarod continued, misinterpreting the look in Sydney's eyes, "You're finally feeling regret for working for the Centre for so long? Or the experiments you have conducted for them?" He instantly regretted his words the minute he had voiced them as he saw the look of anguish on Sydney's face, "Sorry, Syd, I didn't want to say that."
"I know, Jarod, but you meant it though."
Jarod looked down, "Why, Sydney? After all these years?"
"It's something I should have done years ago, I admit that. We can't turn the clock back nor undo the wrongs that have been done. But if there is a possible change of success, I think we should try it..." he nearly added "again" but thought the better of it. After all, his part had been very small in the earlier attempt. "Catherine Parker had reason to believe it could work, I don't see why it shouldn't now. This time we have more experience with it and the workings of the Centre."
Jarod looked surprised, "You knew about her plans?" and Sydney nodded, "Does Miss Parker know that you knew?"
"No! At first I couldn't tell anybody. Then, when you escaped and the three of us were assigned to track you down, I couldn't tell either Miss Parker or Broots for fear of being pulled off the assignment or have an "accident". Now she will kill me if I told her I knew all along what her mother had been planning. She already tried it once when I merely hinted at it. I do not savour a second experience of the kind." Unconsciously he touched his neck in remembrance, "She is much stronger than you would expect at first sight." He lay back on the pillow, clearly exhausted.
Jarod became concerned, "You should rest for a while, Sydney, and we can talk later.
Sydney nodded and closed his eyes wearily.
Late morning
The remainder of the morning Sydney had slept soundly and peacefully, permitting Jarod to catch up on some much needed rest as well. Normally he could do with little catnaps, but the last three days had been very tiring for him as well. He had fallen asleep in the chair near the bed and his cramped muscles were shouting their protests. He looked over at Sydney and still found him soundly asleep.
Carefully he got up and moved to the kitchen to make some tea and see what he could do for food. Luckily Miss Parker had her cupboards stocked up pretty well with tinned food and the freezer had enough meat, vegetables and bread to last for another week or so.
When he returned, Sydney had woken up as well and seemed much better. The lines in his face had smoothed out some, the fever spots were not as pronounced any more and the bruise on his forehead was becoming less prominent. Jarod wondered how his ribs were faring and voiced that question. "Much better, painful, but bearable," was the reply. Jarod wanted to check on it himself, but if Sydney said it was bearable it could wait for a bit longer. His voice was stronger now as well, so, Jarod knew he was on the road to recovery.
"Tea will be ready shortly. Hungry?" Sydney shook his head.
When Jarod came back from the kitchen, Sydney had propped himself up against the pillows. Big droplets of sweat were on his forehead and it was obvious that moving his upper torso and taking deep breaths caused him discomfort, which he pooh-poohed away for the moment, but otherwise he seemed fine. They drank their tea in silence, Sydney holding his cup with two hands, drawing comfort from the warmth of the object and remarkably spilling little.
After they had drunk their tea, Sydney allowed Jarod to examine his chest, wincing at Jarod's gentle touch. "It's definitely bruised, to what extent I can't say without an x-ray, but they don't appear to be broken. When you were in the throes of the drug fever you didn't cough up blood or seemed to be in more pain than the craving expected. And when you moved about earlier your breathing was shallow, but reasonable normal. It could still be a hairline fracture or a small tear on one of the muscles. We should get you to a hospital to get it checked further and to let it be taped up. You will be in some discomfort for a while, though."
"About last night..." started Sydney when Jarod had sat down again.
"You mean about another planned escape?"
"Yes."
"I'm not sure, Syd. Yes, I think it might be possible, but the Centre is like a fortress nowadays, it will not be easy. How many children or people will be involved?"
"At present: 6 children under the age of twelve, this includes Ms Parker's baby brother and two in Raines' wing. I have two teenagers under my care and Raines another two, although, he had those two boys for some time now. I don't know how cooperative they will be or how much under his influence. Four adults: who had been homeless, as far as I know, before the came to the Centre.
Than there's Angelo, we can't leave him there. The boy has suffered enough as it is. If we can get Broots to join forces with us, we also have to think of Debbie. If we are going to take them all, it will be 16 in total."
Jarod got up from his chair, "Not an easy task, quite a lot of people involved." He stood in thought, "What are your plans with them afterwards?"
"Apart from baby Parker, of three we know they have parents, we just have to find them in the Databases..."
"As you have been able to find my father!"
Sydney ignored the remark for the moment, "...two others are actual orphans and of the four remaining... I have no clue. They don't talk about their parents, wards or otherwise. They give no indication that they want to go home. (-"Like I did!"-) It is disturbing that all four are under Raines' supervision."
Jarod nodded, he could well remember how disturbed his clone was.
Sydney continued, "If we can get the other three united with their families, that would be a good thing. We could spirit the others away and hide out in the mountains, set up a school or home there. Catherine Parker had arranged to take them somewhere, but I don't know where. Besides, if they had already figured out what was going on, they might also know the location of Mrs Parker's destination." Too late Sydney realised he might have said too much, damn his addled brain and hoped Jarod hadn't noticed the slip-up.
Bad luck, Jarod wheeled on Sydney, "How much did you know or were you involved in the earlier attempt, Sydney?"
"Not a lot," tried Sydney.
Jarod looked hard on him, moved over to the bed and nearly lifted Sydney up by the shoulders, "Of all the co-conspirators they did nothing to you? They even let you continue working at the Centre? (-He was shaking Sydney now, who winced in pain and tried to pry Jarod's hands loose, to no effect-) How come, Sydney? Were you the one who betrayed them?"
"No, Jarod, I wasn't, you have to believe me," he was nearly shouting now, the pain nearly blanking him out, "Jarod, let go of me, you're hurting me!"
Jarod realised what he was doing and let go of Sydney's shoulders, he still wasn't convinced and looked with contempt at Sydney who was painfully trying to catch his breath, each intake another lungful of searing pain. "If you didn't do it, than who did?"
"I don't know, Jarod, I honestly don't know. I could never betray them! I could never betray Jacob, my own brother! Surviving the Camp together, dragging him through Europe and than over to America! Or Catherine Parker, whom I loved like a sister. Major Charles I didn't know, he was an outsider, I think Catherine brought him in, but he was going to help the children escape, that was enough for me. And finding out about him later, I couldn't believe he was the one who betrayed the plan. Oh, I had my doubts in the beginning, but couldn't believe it then and I still can't believe it now. I don't know why they left me alone, maybe they didn't know about me or maybe they needed me at the Centre to teach you. You have to believe me, Jarod, please!"
Jarod sat down again and looked with sorrow at Sydney, "Than why didn't you never tell me about my father?"
"I didn't know he was your father and I don't think he knew that one of the children he was rescuing was his own son and when I found out he was your father, would you have believed me if I told you that once I tried to get you of the Centre, after chasing you for such a long time?"
"No, I guess I wouldn't. But why did you stay at the Centre?"
"I had to take care of you and Ms Parker, I had promised her mother."
"It's all very hard for me to take in. And why would you want to try again now, after all these years?"
"It has been on my mind for some time now. Up till now I've always found excuses not to go ahead. You might think I'm a coward and quite possibly I am. But I can't sit idly by anymore, the policies in the Centre are getting worse and I'm not getting any younger." He coughed and pressed his left arm to his side, he coughed again and seemed to be having problems trying to catch his breath.
Jarod jumped up immediately, holding Sydney, trying to make him feel more comfortable, but Sydney had problems taken breaths, pushing away from Jarod. Racking coughs tearing him apart while he lay back against the pillows, finally it subsided and he leaned back exhausted. His hands gripping the sheets, while Jarod let him drink some water.
"I'm sorry for shaking you earlier," said Jarod, "It must have set this spell on."
Sydney moved his hand in dismissal, still unable to talk.
"Maybe you should rest a bit, we can talk later." Sydney nodded and closed his eyes.
Late afternoon
During the afternoon Jarod sat idly by, watching Sydney, trying to make head or tail of what he had just learned. Sydney had his eyes closed, but only dozed. This time it was the pain in his chest that kept him from dropping off to sleep, at least the rest would do him some good. Jarod was wondering if Sydney hadn't been more injured than was obvious at first glance, maybe Jarod's shaking him had rattled something in his chest. But than again, Sydney seemed as fine as could possibly be after the fevers had passed. Could he be faking it? Jarod looked closely at Sydney without waking him out of his slumber. No, the lines on his face spoke of pain even in sleep, that couldn't be faked. Besides, he gave a wry grin, Sydney had never been good at faking or lying that well. Jarod was now determined to get him to a hospital as soon as was safely possible.
Ms Parker phoned later on informing about Sydney and thanking Jarod to get Broots to the Centre. It was to Broots' credit that he grasped the situation quite quickly and together, not to mention Jarod's trail of "breadcrumbs", they had come up with a plausible story to explain their absence and the continued absence of Sydney. As was expected, Raines had come up with an explanation as to why he and the others were locked in the basement and hadn't breathed a word of his part in Sydney's disappearance. Ms Parker had to watch him and her step. Raines could turn out to be a rather dangerous person at present.
When she asked after Sydney, Jarod told her that he was doing fine and that the fevers had passed, but also that he was still too weak to be driven over to a hospital to be examined. It might take another day yet to be on the safe side. Ms Parker was glad that he was going to be all right and rang off, leaving Jarod alone with his thoughts and Sydney.
In his heart of hearts he couldn't believe that Sydney could have been so callous as to betraying his friends, yet a little twinge of doubt remained. If it hadn't been Sydney, than whom could it have been? Had there been a fifth person involved? He was determined to ask Sydney about it.
As to the escape plan, could it be conceivable to make another attempt? And if it worked, how could they insure to stay out of the Centre's clutches?
A little later in the afternoon Sydney arose from his slumber, pain was still etched in his features and he favoured his left side, but he assured Jarod that he was all right.
After he had given Sydney some water, Jarod asked him if in the earlier attempt a fifth person might have been involved. Sydney assured him there hadn't been, at least not as far as he knew. Both men were silent.
When Sydney had to go to the bathroom his breathing became more laboured and with a look of surprise at Jarod and without a single sound, he collapsed. "That's it," thought Jarod, "I have to get him to a hospital now. This can't wait any longer. At least he is more or less free of the drug and if they didn't take a too close a look at his forearm he should be all right."
He checked to see if the collapse had been due to a heart attack and finding Sydney's heart still beating strong, but rapidly, he carried Sydney towards the bedroom where he per functionally dressed him. He didn't know how far he had to drive to get to a hospital, which wasn't too close to the Centre and it wouldn't do to let Sydney catch pneumonia on the way. He checked that he had a doctor-ID with him and in haste he bundled Sydney into the car, trying to make him as comfortable as possible and drove off.