**A Close Call**
Author's note: Ok, I'm going to clear things up. Yes, Lauren and Ash are going out, umm yea they just had sex for the hell of it…c'mon people I know y'all have brains! Just USE them. Actually Ash didn't know what the hell was going on, Lauren made him do it. Yea and I own the million dollar songs that I put in here…like Jessica Simpson's "Did You Ever Love Somebody" and Shooter's song "Life's A Bitch". Really I do. That's why I'm so rich trying to get reviews from the cyber highway by making fanfics. BULL. *HA HA HA, WHOO!* That's a knee-slapper. And don't forget that my humor's kind of raunchy at times.
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The next week, at the Ketchum household after Lauren announced she was pregnant, Mrs. Ketchum totally didn't act like herself at ALL. Well it is depressing when you find that your 14 year old son's becoming a father…kinda makes ya think, huh? WHAT ARE YOUR CHILDREN DOING RIGHT NOW? Hmmmm??? Probably not even half of you reading this aren't even parents. If you are, I'm sure you're doing a better job than Delia over here. Right now Ash and Lauren are outside just having a good time like they were about to die the next day, that's how happy the couple was. Brock was also having a grand time out there trying to hit on Deanna. (Take a look at chapter 3, you'll see she's Lauren's sister.)
"FIRST LISTEN BROCK, GROUND RULES: Don't talk to me; don't look at me; don't TOUCH ME." And they say sisters are alike.
"Hey those aren't real ground rules! That was off a fuckin' cheap key-chain I saw in Hot Topic!"(Hot Topic's a store.) "C'MON YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T RESIST ME!"
"Yeah, totally, whatever you say, want to follow me to the bathroom to show you how much I care?"
"You gonna take a shower?" Brock was thinking he was going to have the time of his life.
"AH I WOULDN'T EXACTLY DO THAT…" Lauren shouted with the 'anime' sweat-drop at the back of her head.
"Oh yea, Laur, did you even tell them yet?"
"Tell them…OH! How could I even forget, Jesus, I must be truly blonde!—"
"You must be losing your marbles…" Brock got a nice whack from both sides, Ash and Deanna.
"AS I WAS SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED…I was saying that…I'M NOT HAVING A KID AFTER ALL! Those damn home pregnancy tests never work!"
"HOLY FUCKIN SKY OF CLOUDS! I THOUGHT MY MOM WAS GOING TO DROP ME DOWN THE HELLHOLE!" Ash threw her up over his shoulders—
"EEEEEK! ASH good thing I knew how to do back-ass flips I almost squashed my head like a jack-o-lantern on Halloween."
"To think, I'm twenty, and didn't even screw anyone yet and my sister did, kinda brings a tear—"
"I can fix that for ya…" Brock cooed suavely.
"I'd have more fun humping a hor—"
Lauren covers her sister's face, "To think, you're twenty and still immature,"
**
Everybody's tellin' all
Baring their souls
Just to go on the Ricky Lake show
Why?
Last night I turned the T.V. on
You were booed off stage
Singing your famous love song
Why?
Tell me who makes the rules
CHORUS:
Should'a been born on the Milky Way
Don't wanna belong to the world today
Oh, life's a bitch and then you die
Should'a been born on the Milky Way
I can't believe what I heard today
Oh yeah, life's a bitch and then you die
Meanwhile, I got the magazines
Telling me, selling me lies
On how I could be the perfect 10
Why?
And my boyfriend left
Just the other day
He's all messed up
Is he straight or is he gay
Why?
So tell me, who makes the rules?
CHORUS
And if I fall
If I fall
Hold on
CHORUS (x3)
**
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Delia walks outside and goes to tend her garden as if no one in the world ever passed her house; but here they are right in front of it. "Let me go over Ash, hey if I never said I was pregnant, this whole soap opera would be over."
"Soap opera? This is a FanFic. Where the hell did you get soap opera? I didn't know it even started." Everyone sighs at Ash's wonderful insight. Lauren walks over.
"Mrs. Ketchum?"
"Why don't you just call me mom? I'm going to be a grandmother anyway, at 39."
"Eh…erm…with all do respects, why should I? You're not going to be a grandmother…" Lauren saw a smile crack Delia's serious expression.
"You…you're not, dear?" Lauren shook her head. "OH GOD THAT'S WONDERFUL!" Another person who likes lifting people in the air.
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How come we haven't seen Misty, eh? She's inside the house, in the spare room listening to music. Check it out. She's the only one now who doesn't know that Lauren's not expecting, so what is she thinking?
"You never know what happens in this world. You think you know somebody and the next minute everything changes…Oh God, Ash why couldn't I have told you earlier?" The radio plays a new song that no one's heard yet…but for Misty it feels like she's heard it a million times over again…
**
Did you ever love somebody?
So much that the earth moved
Did you ever love somebody?
Even though it hurt to
Did you ever love somebody?
Nothing else the heart could do
Did you ever love somebody?
Who never knew?
Did you ever lay your head down?
On the shoulder of a good friend?
And then have to look away somehow
Had to hide the way you felt for them?
Have you ever prayed the day would come?
You'd hear them say they feel it too
Did you ever love somebody?
Who never knew.
And if you did,
Well, you know I'd understand
I could I would
More than anybody can
Did you ever love somebody?
So much that the earth moves
Did you ever love somebody?
Even though it hurt to
Did you ever love somebody?
Nothing else your heart could do
Did you ever love somebody?
Like I love you.
Like I love you.
Like I love you…
**
"Like I love you…Ash." Misty whispered to the window. We're just going to leave her to find out what we were all chatting about outside. Not that we're planning a happy ending…
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**Hope you all like it, though like I said, it was a wacked out story. I'm not adding any more chapters.**