Darkness. Flying…falling
through the black which surrounded him. It swirled around him-engulfing him,
choking him… The coldness seeped to his bones-not easing the fire that burned
in his body, but increasing its intensity.
Voices, thoughts, and
feelings forced their way into his mind, finding him in the darkness. No… There
were too many… And they brought with them an unbearable pain. So many
others-uninvited…yet he was alone…so alone…
:Not quite alone, dear
Sandoval. Never alone…: a soft,
gentle voice filled his mind.
Sandoval flinched away from
the voice, expecting pain to follow. It did not. He frantically tried to see
through the darkness, to identify who the voice belonged to.
:Gently,: the voice said again. :You are far from well. A
beautiful ebony raven with a broken wing-healing can only come in time. I
cannot take the pain away, but I can show you how to stem the flood which
threatens to sweep you away. It is under your command, you must learn to
control it…:
Sandoval felt a force pulling
on him-leading…guiding him. He panicked, trying to escape it. :Easy,:
the voice said reassuringly. :I will not hurt you. Please…: Unable to
resist any longer, he allowed himself to be drawn deeper into the darkness.
:Here.: The pulling stopped. :This is your center. And now
to ground…: The voice swept over him, directing his thoughts and actions.
He allowed it to do as it wished, too tired and weak to insist otherwise. :There,:
the voice filled his mind once again, releasing its hold on him.
Free, he found a balance
unlike anything he had ever felt before. Elsewhere, chaos reigned; but here…
Until now he had not known such a thing existed, nor that he had longed for it…
He knew he would never lose this place again.
:You learn quickly,: the voice noted, pleased. :Now…a barrier. Dense
and it will keep all out. You may change it at your will-you must control it.:
Sandoval watched as it built a network around him, blocking out every thought,
voice, and feeling save his own. Carefully, he tried to do the same, taking
down the shield layer by layer and building it back up.
:A long road lies ahead of
you, Sandoval. But remember you are never alone. I shall help you through
this-one step at a time…:
Sandoval allowed himself to fall
into a deep, dreamless sleep. A true sleep.
***
Very carefully, Vanyel pulled
back from Sandoval's mind. All his senses once again centered on the physical
world, he sighed in relief. Even the slightest mistake on his part would have
sent Sandoval into a panic, blinded by pain. At least he would now be able to
protect himself from a Vale full of thoughts and emotions-they would no longer
overwhelm him. Still, only Moondance could deal with the pain…
Vanyel gently brushed
Sandoval's cheek with his hand. He would recover physically. That Vanyel was
certain of. If only he could recover mentally. It was so late for his channels
to be opening, especially in this manner-there was so much to deal with. And to
be both a strong Mindspeaker and Empath… He had never heard of anyone so
talented in both Gifts. To balance those with Healing…
"You work well with
him," Da'an said softly, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts.
"I have been in his
position," Vanyel replied, turning to face Da'an. "This is much for
him to deal with-I only hope I can help him through it. He will not be the same
person he once was."
Da'an bowed his head. "I
know." He met Vanyel's eyes. "I should leave you alone with him. You
do not need me here to distract you."
"It's the middle of the
night, Da'an," Vanyel insisted. It seemed Da'an was very politely trying
to leave the two of them alone together. Surely he couldn't know… Vanyel pushed
the thought out of his mind. "There's no need to find your way around the
Vale in the dark. Stay."
:Stay. Scratch Serous'
neck.: The bird moved closer to
Da'an.
Vanyel laughed to himself.
Who could disobey an order like that?
***
"Is that you,
Sunlark?" Lili asked, hearing someone enter the building. The kestra'chern
had taken to stopping by everyday for the past week and a half. He'd explained
so much to her-who the Tayledras were, how the Vale operated, recent history of
this world, and some basics of the Tayledras language.
"No. It's
Sundance…"
"I'm sorry." Lili
turned around. "I was expecting Sunlark."
"Actually, it was
Sunlark who sent me," Sundance explained. "He asked me to tell you
that while he is always available, he felt you no longer needed him."
Lili bowed her head slightly,
disappointed. While there had been nothing romantic between them, she'd grown
fond of the time she and Sunlark spent together. He was so easy to talk to…and
it had been so long since she could be that open with anyone. Over the course
of their discussions he had learned almost every detail of her life-yet she
knew so little about him…
"He told me you had been
something like a scout on your world and that you might enjoy learning what I
do," Sundance continued. "We are always in need of more scouts. And
since you don't know when you will be able to leave, if ever…" she didn't
finish her offer. It was already clear. "That is, unless you would rather
stay around the Vale…"
"No," Lili said
quickly. "I feel useless sitting here not doing anything. I'd love to work
as a scout, if you think I can. But I have to warn you, I don't have a clue
what I'm supposed to do."
Sundance smiled, excited at
the prospect of training a new scout. "The Council has accepted all of you
as members of k'Treva. I do not think they would object to you taking action to
contribute to its well being. On the other hand, I believe they would welcome
it. As for learning… I will show you what is expected and teach you the ways of
the forest. You will learn quickly, I am sure."
Lili laughed. "I hope
so." It was obvious Sundance and she were becoming great friends.
"Oh," Sundance
glanced at her, "do you know how to handle a bow?"
"A bow?" Lili shook
her head.
"That I must teach you
before we venture outside the Vale. Come…"
***
"I think I might have
found something that would interest you," Moondance said, looking up from
Sandoval.
"What?" Vanyel went
immediately to the Healer's side. Moondance had been working with Sandoval for
a week and a half, what would he be finding now? He opened his mind, finding
Moondance's link and following it down to Sandoval.
:They're Compulsions,: Moondance said, repulsed.
"Compulsions?"
Vanyel asked, pulling back from his mind. "Why? Who would have set
them?"
:Maybe you should ask
Da'an,: Yfandes interrupted.
"Da'an?" He turned
to the Taelon, confused. "What do you know about this?"
Da'an bowed his head,
avoiding Vanyel's eyes. "It is my doing," he said softly. "My
people require all Protectors to be implanted with a CVI. It ensures their
loyalty and makes them better able to serve us… I do not support the practice, but
I have done nothing to stop it."
Vanyel shook his head. He
hadn't a clue what Da'an had just said, but it really didn't matter. "Can
you reverse them?" he asked Moondance.
The Tayledras sighed.
"There are many of them, and they are set in a manner I have never seen
before. It is almost as if his entire mind has been affected. But…"
"But?" Vanyel
prodded him.
Moondance smiled. "But I
think I can reverse them. And it will not take long…" He turned back to
Sandoval. Vanyel nodded, watching impatiently.
"There." Moondance
stood some time later. "When pathways are forced against their will in
that manner, they are easy to reverse. They wish to revert to their natural
state, it takes only a small amount of persuasion to place them there." He
paused. "I've done everything possible for him. Physically he is
fine…" Starting for the door, he stopped. "I'll send the hertasi
with some bread and water. You might wake him… Be careful, Van." He turned
and left.
"It would be best if I
am not here when he wakes up," Da'an said, heading for the door.
"You've sat here nearly
as long as I have," Vanyel protested. "You should be with him."
"No, I should not. I do
not expect you to understand… You cannot know the extent of what I have done to
him. And I fear he may now realize this…" Not waiting to hear Vanyel's
reply, Da'an quickly left the room.
A hertasi came in
immediately, setting down a try on the table. "Thank you," Vanyel
said softly, making sure not to spook him. The hertasi nodded politely,
disappearing out the door.
Vanyel carefully sat down on
the edge of the bed, gently placing his hand on Sandoval's shoulder. "It's
time to wake, dear Sandoval," he said softly. "You've been long
asleep. But you are now able to care for yourself."
Sandoval stirred, slowly opening
his eyes. He studied the room for a few moments, then turned to Vanyel.
"Every thing is so dull… Where am I? What happened?"
"You were injured in an
accident," Vanyel explained. "You are in my quarters, where Moondance
has been taking care of you. He has managed to Heal all your physical wounds,
however…there is much you must learn to deal with mentally. Several of you
channels have been opened; you will have to learn to use them."
Sandoval seemed not to hear a
word he said. "And my CVI?"
"I assume you mean your
Compulsions. Da'an called them the same thing. They have been reversed."
"Reversed? But how? I
wouldn't be able to live… And my skrill…"
Vanyel smiled. "You
underestimate Moondance's skills. What is often impossible by others' standards
is many times commonplace for a Tayledras Healer of his talent. I think even he
does not know how far his powers reach. As for your…creature," he motioned
to Sandoval's skrill, "from what I saw several of the Compulsions merely
provided a link between it and your mind. You are a Mindspeaker and an Empath
now-you do not need such an artificial link. The two of you are now partners,
no longer slaves of each other. You can now provide it with what it requires;
it must no longer take those things from you. And it will do willing what you
ask it; you no longer force it into your service-dominating it." He rose,
taking the bread and water off the table. "I know this is difficult to
understand-and it is so much to take in at this time. I will try to answer your
questions as you eat."
Sandoval nodded, struggling
into a sitting position. Vanyel waited patiently-he was so weak… When he was
settled, Vanyel handed him the bread and water. Tentatively, Sandoval took a
bite of the bread, grimacing slightly. Vanyel laughed. "You may not find
the taste pleasurable," he said, pulling a chair up next to the bed.
"But it is made with many herbs which will help your condition.
"Sitting down, he watched Sandoval as he ate. This was not the same man
who had come into the Vale. He had lost something-his cold arrogance. The
self-confidence and invincibility which had shown all too clearly in his eyes
had been replaced by sadness and vulnerability. He had told Da'an that Sandoval
would not be the same person, but he hadn't expected such and immediate or
drastic change. The Compulsions…? Perhaps. They would have directed his
movements, forcing him into states he otherwise would not be in. The pain…?
Likely. It had a way of changing people completely. And being flooded by so
many's thoughts and feelings would have a profound effect on anyone.
"You said something
about channels," Sandoval said, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts.
"What were you talking about?"
"Each Gift has its own
channel. Mage, Fetching, Mindspeech, and so on. For a person to have these
Gifts the channels must be open-the strength of the Gifts dependent on how wide
open they are. Usually if these are to open in a lifetime, they do so
naturally-and slowly-as a child. However, we now know they may be forced open.
That is what happened to you. The energy which passed through your body blasted
open several of these channels completely open all at once-gifting you with
very strong Mindspeech, Empathy, and Healing."
"That's what happened to
you, wasn't it?" Sandoval asked.
"I am surprised you
remember that," Vanyel replied, "but, yes. Though I was not affected
by node energy, it was Gate energy. And it opened my Mage channels." He
met Sandoval's eyes, holding them in his gaze. "I know what you are going
through, for I have been there myself. I will train you in what I can, and find
others to help you in areas beyond my expertise."
"Train?"
"You must learn to use
and control your powers."
Sandoval was quiet for quite
some time, turning his head away from Vanyel. "And what if I don't want
to?"
"Then they will consume
you."
:Dark One well?: Serous asked, waking up from a nap and spotting
Sandoval sitting up. He hopped to the bed, excited. The conversation grew
silent, and Vanyel knew the bird had singled out only Sandoval to speak to.
Vanyel broadened his 'hearing' enough to pick up what the bird was saying. He
shuddered slightly; before now he would never had considered eavesdropping on a
bondbird's conversation with its bonded. This just appeared to be a special
case...
:Serous worry about Dark
One. But all well now. No more hurt,:
the bird continued.
Sandoval looked to him,
panicked. "Meet Serous. He's grown quite…fond of you."
"Well, I'm not fond of
him. Damn bird, go away," Sandoval said sharply. Serous chirped loudly in
response , not moving.
"Has anyone ever
translated Tayledras into your tongue?" Vanyel asked, keeping his eyes
focused on Serous. Sandoval didn't answer. "Roughly, it means
Hawkbrothers. They breed a special kind of birds to work with them, smarter and
bigger than their 'natural' counterparts. These are called bondbirds. At an
early age, these birds bond, or form an exclusive connection, with a Tayledras.
Or most of them do. Serous is an exception. He's lived in the Vale, unbonded,
for a couple of years. And now, he's bonded to you." Vanyel glared at the
bird. "I've tried to explain that you might not want him, but he's
terribly stubborn."
:He not like. Go…: Serous Sent to Vanyel, sadness evident in his
'voice.' Turning from them, he flew out an open window.
"Where's he going?"
Sandoval asked, seeming truly unconcerned.
Vanyel shook his head.
"I don't know what bondbirds do when they're rejected. I am not
Tayledras..." He stood, taking a few steps from the bed. "Come, my
raven, it is time you learned to fly again…"
***
Very carefully, Sandoval sat
down on the bed. He was incredibly sore from the small amount of walking Vanyel
had forced him to do. Sore for the first time in a long while. With his CVI he
didn't seem to ever hurt like this-or at least he didn't notice it. Sandoval
scoffed, it had been a long time since he'd felt anything-love, happiness,
sadness… The CVI had blocked it all. Now these emotions were flooding back to
him-and not all of them were his own.
If they were to drown him, so
be it. He would rather suffer at their mercy than be without them now that he
had experienced that option.
Why had he willing let the
Taelons do this to him? His blind faith had gained him nothing. The power he
had held was nothing more than illusionary. If he had been able to look close
enough, he would have realized it did not truly exist. Even then it was only
momentarily his. And what it had cost him… His life… His friends… His 'true'
job… Deedeee… He drew a sharp breath, gasping in pain at the thought. Oh, God.
Deedee. What had he done to her? His decisions had cost her life…
Sandoval tentatively reached
up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. He had thought the CVI provided
clarity…but only now that it was gone was he seeing clearly. And he had opened
his eyes on a scene he'd preferred to have kept hidden.
He glanced to the skrill on
his arm. Yet another species the Taelons had forced under their control. And
another reminder of what they'd done to him, and how they had forced his
compliance… A reminder of all the horrid things he had done for them…
Sandoval closed his eyes,
leaning back on the bed. He wouldn't wear this brand. Moondance had freed him
from the CVI, surely he could do something about this…
***
:So this is where you've
been hiding.: Yfandes stepped from
the brush to find Da'an standing next to one of the Vale's waterfalls.
Da'an turned to face her. :Of
them all, I think this one is the most beautiful.:
Yfandes looked to the cascade
of water. :Yes. When we are in the Vale, I spend much time here. It is
peaceful-a nice place to think…:
:I am not in the mood for
word games…:
:Funny,: she laid down gracefully in the emerald green grass, :I
thought you were quite good at them.:
Da'an was silent, avoiding
her comment. 'Fandes snorted, settling comfortably into the silence. :You
can't avoid him forever.:
:Who said I was avoiding
him?: Da'an asked defensively. :I
have no reason to keep from meeting with him-he serves me.:
:You're not stupid,: Yfandes replied. :You question how he will react
to you, now that he can see what you've done to him.:
:I never meant to hurt
him…: Da'an said, giving in to her. :I
did not wish to take away his freewill…:
:You say that,: she snapped, :but now that he has it, you will
have nothing to do with him.: She studied him closely, extending her Senses
to pick up anything he might be leaking. :You're afraid,: she said
bluntly. :You're fond of him, and you're afraid that now that he has a
choice he'll desert you.: Yfandes rose, going to Da'an's side. :You did the
right thing by allowing Moondance to remove the Compulsions. He'll understand
that and thank you-eventually. Yes, right now he's upset; there is so much he
must get over before he can forgive you. It will happen, though-in time. Be
patient. He will choose you. But he will serve you in his own way.:
Finishing, she took a few steps away, giving him some room. Silence descended
over the area except for the constant fall of water. Bird calls shattered the
silence at random intervals as the feathered creatures marked and defended their
part of the Vale.
Yfandes was just about the
leave when Da'an broke the silence. :You have something else you wanted to
speak to me about?: he asked, almost hopefully.
:You're getting too good
at reading me. I'll have to put up better shields,: Yfandes said, amused. :Actually, yes. I did.:
She turned to face him yet again. :I've been talking to several people on
the Council, and they're of the opinion that we're not going to be able to
return you to your home…:
Da'an eyed her questioningly.
:You have to understand
there is so much to consider. We know nothing about how you got here. In fact,
until you showed up no one had any idea that other worlds existed, let alone that a Gate could be built
between them. Not the Companions, not the Tayledras…: She paused for a
moment, letting him process what she had said. :We don't even know where to
begin studying the phenomena. Was it Vanyel that triggered it? It's not unusual
for unexpected things to happen around him-he's just so powerful… Was it the
places the Gate was set? A joining of energies which sparked this? Or did it
have something to do with your world? The 'shuttle'? The storm? Maybe it was
both worlds-a connection of energy between them that was tapped. Or perhaps
they were merely closer together for some reason. Then again, this could be a
natural occurrence and we were all just in the right place at the right time.:
Yfandes shook her head at the thought.
:Besides,: she continued, :it's dangerous. You know what
happened with the lay line, and the Tayledras have been moving lines longer
than I've been alive. Energies are just so unpredictable-especially Gate
energies. Eventually maybe someone will figure out the secret of such a Gate as
the one that brought you here-and could send you back. But it is going to take
time-lots of it. And if it endangers anyone…:
:I do not wish to place
anyone in danger.: Da'an bowed his
head slightly. :It seems then that we have little choice but to remain. I do
not mind so much myself, but the others… I would have liked to have been able
to return them to the life they know.:
:A life which neither of
them thrived in,: Yfandes said,
startling Da'an. :Ah, do not think that I didn't notice. Both of them were
unhappy, feeling as if they had no one in their world, no one to care for and
no one to care for them in return. They are finding that here. Lili has already
become good friends with Sundance and is quickly learning the ways of a scout.
It is a friendship which I think will last. As for Sandoval… He could not
return anyway-not without extensive training. Even then, he still would harbor
so much power… In time I feel he too will discover what he is looking for
here.: She glanced at Da'an, trying to read his reaction. She knew what she
had said was the truth, but often the truth was the hardest to accept.
Da'an nodded in agreement,
meeting Yfandes' crystal blue eyes. :And I too have found a friendship I did
not expect.:
***
Da'an stopped on the path,
eyeing the last bend cut into the undergrowth. He knew what was ahead-Yfandes
had made a point of telling him where Sandoval would be this afternoon. He'd
resolved not to give into her, avoiding the attaché at all costs. But as the
day wore on, he found himself drawn more and more to this spot… Making up his
mind, Da'an continued on.
Reaching the clearing, he
stopped once again. Sandoval sat leaned against a large rock, his back turned
to Da'an. He seemed focused on the waterfall that cascaded into the pool at his
feet, yet another of the Vale's numerous waterfalls… Sandoval paid no attention
to Da'an's presence. Da'an glanced to him, wondering momentarily whether the
was capable of rising without assistance after being abed for so long.
"I can walk perfectly
well. I'm not that helpless," Sandoval replied sharply, still not turning
to look at Da'an.
Da'an started. How had he
known…?
"I'm sorry," the
man mumbled, closing his eyes as if in pain and bowing his head. "There
are just so many things that find their way into my head-even when I don't want
them to. I don't know how-or why…" He shook his head slightly. "I
can't help but hear them and see them…"
Da'an nodded, understanding
now. Empathy. Vanyel had said Sandoval was talented at Empathy-and Mindspeech.
He would have to be more careful of how he shielded himself.
He hesitated, for once not
knowing how to begin a conversation with Sandoval. There was so much to be said
between them…and this was definitely not the same person he had met
years ago. It was as if something had been destroyed in him-as if he had been
broken by all that had happened. Da'an blushed, tilting his head. It was all
too clear who was to blame…
"I am glad to see you
are well," Da'an said finally, coming to stand next to Sandoval.
"Why did you do this to
me, Da'an?" Sandoval asked instead of answering, jumping directly to the
point.
"It was the will of the
Synod," he answered. "I wish it had not happened."
"Deedee was the only
reason I lived; I loved her," he continued, staring into the water.
"And I locked her away for no reason. I destroyed her life, and I was her
death."
Da'an flinched at the words.
He had not known Sandoval had such deep feelings about his wife. "I am
sorry," he said softly, wanting to say more but unable to find the words.
"No, you are not sorry.
All you want is for me to do your bidding. You care about nothing else,"
Sandoval accused.
"You are unfortunately
correct. That is exactly how the Synod view the human race. They plan only to
use you as a means to their end-regardless of what it will cost your race.
There was a time I supported such a method, but I no longer do."
Sandoval finally met his
eyes. "I would have served you without the MI. There was no need…"
Da'an held his gaze for as
long as he could stand, then turned away. "I understand that now. If only
I had realized it sooner…"
"Nothing would have
changed," Sandoval finished for him.
"You are probably
correct." Da'an paused, not wanting to ask his next question. "What
is to come of this?"
Sandoval shook his head.
"I don't know. There's too much to consider."
A heavy silence descended
upon them as they sat, unmoving, each lost in their own thoughts. Da'an let his
attention fall to Sandoval, studying every detail. It took a few moments for him
to realize Sandoval no longer had his skrill. "I would think the future is
all too clear-you have removed everything that ever connected you to the
Taelons."
Sandoval followed his gaze,
realizing what he meant. "You expected me to keep it, after what you've
done to me?" he snapped. "I couldn't live that way-not anymore. I
can't handle it right now. Maybe later…" Sandoval paused. "Moondance
found someone to host it…"
Da'an nodded, sensing it was
time to leave. This awkward conversation had drug on long enough; there was no
use torturing either party any longer.
"Da'an?" Sandoval
asked. Da'an stopped, turning back to him. "Eventually…" He didn't
finish his comment, but Da'an knew… Nodding, he left the clearing.
***