TITLE: Best of Breed, part three
AUTHOR: clarrie
DISCLAIMER: Obviously don't own Giles, Wesley, Buffy, Anya and the Scooby gang. Alice Boston and others are mine, most of the info about watchers and the watchers council was made up by me and is based on my interpretation of it as an institution.
All witchy stuff made up by me and bares little resemblance to say, Wicca or any of the other old faiths.
SPOILERS: mild up to mid season 3, but as if faith and the mayor had not existed and Anya and Xander had got together earlier. Does include Wesley character though.
At the time of story Oz had ginger hair.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This is the Fourth Fic in the 'Observance' series, which deals with what happens when a old friend of Giles leaps, two footed and with a cry of Geronimo!, into the scoobie's lives.
It's worth pointing out that, due to the timeline in this fic series, anything referred to that actually happened on the show, is assumed to have happened before October, regardless of when it actually did happen.
You can read other fic by clarrie at http://www.geocities.com/priiti/fanfic.html
'Oogah!'
'Ooooogaaaaaaah!'
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRG!'
'Hey?' Xander grinned as he wiped a clod of free flying pudding from his cheek. 'Free desserts.'
'Xander. You have food in your hair.' Anya stared. 'Who threw food at you?'
His reply was drowned out as the skin clad MC began to yell into his microphone once more.
'ONE-AH! TWO-AH! WE HAVE A WINNER!' 'He grabbed at the wrist of a goo coated youth and pulled him to his feet, flicking more globs of gelatinous confectionery into the crowd.
'Tell the Bronze, kid. Who are you and which of these fair maidens were you doing battle for ?' He thrust the mic into the face of the wide eyed teenager whose mumblings were accompanied by the sound of girlish squeals from the crowd.
'And how do you feel now?'
The gangly youngsters stuttered into the mic. 'I'm, like, you know.'
'Just say yabba dabba doo.' Hissed the compere through a fixed grin. 'Just say it and leave the stage.'
'Uh, YABBA DABBA DOO!'
'Yabba dabba doo?' Buffy raised an eyebrow as she sipped her coffee. 'Stretching the theme much?'
Willow nodded. ' Fair maidens? That's not even stone age. It's, renaissance, I think.'
'Ahuh.'
Willow bit into her chocosaurus rex muffin. 'Not to mention how demeaning to women the whole idea is. I mean what are we, possessions? Prizes? To be won like - OZ!'
Oz held his coffee carefully out of harms way as Willow flung her arms around his neck.
'Evidently today, we are.' Muttered Buffy under her breath.
'Will, Buff,' Oz nodded a greeting. 'Xander.' Xander nodded back as Anya wiped his face with the back of her sleeve.
'Oz I thought you were going to be late!' Willow fluttered around the taciturn guitarist, 'Did the van break down again? It did didn't it? And you had to walk all this way I bet. Well you tell Devon he's chipping in for the repairs this time it's his...'
Oz let Willow's chatter fade into the background and caught Buffy's eye. 'Having fun?'
'I've had suckier evenings. Nothing's actually tried to kill me yet. I'm counting that as a big plus mark.' Buffy shook her now empty coffee cup. 'Anyone want a refill? Mocha? Cappuccino? Mochacinno? No?' She left her seat and brushed herself down. 'Well don't leave the country while I'm at the bar.'
Xander watched her walk across the club. 'Trying to drown your sorrows in caffeine and sugar.' He shook his head sadly. 'Just gets you buzzed and angry.'
Anya frowned silently for a moment in Buffy's direction. She turned questioningly to Xander and put her hand tenderly on his arm. 'Xander?'
'Hmm?'
'What's a mochacinno?'
'So are you playing tonight?' Xander paused with his coffee halfway to his mouth. 'Do you need any help bringing in your, band, uh, stuff?'
'He's not playing his guitar are you.' Willow shuffled excitedly on her seat. 'He's going to...'
'As long as you're not taking part in that stupid Primeval. Which of course you are.' Xander paused. 'And it is of course in no way stupid, the opposite in fact, it's downright - I'll stop talking now.'
'Oz is going to tell where people come from by sniffing them.' Trilled Willow excitedly.
'Nope.' Buffy shook her head. 'Not stupid at all then.'
Xander raised his hand gingerly. 'Uh, I'd like to just point out that if only for a moment, I'm now the coolest guy in the Scooby gang?'
'And yet you still used the phrase 'Scooby gang'. Yeah, that's real cool.' Cordelia flicked back her hair. 'If you're a complete dork.'
'Speaking of which.' Buffy smiled icily. 'Wesley, how nice of you to bring Cordelia along to help you babysit.'
'It, that is, Miss Chase was, and.'
Cordelia sniffed and hitched her 'I gave Wesley a lift.'
Buffy raised an eyebrow. 'I'll bet you did.'
Alice eased herself through the heaving throng. 'Excuse me.' She wove around the dancing teens. 'Coming through.' Alice paused thoughtfully behind the unmoving expanse of back for a moment. 'Would we mind moving please dear?' She stared at the immobile breadth of black tee-shirt. 'Only I'm actually giving up smoking and as you can see there's rather a lot of smoke in this particular...' Alice shifted her weight from foot to foot as the shoulder blades stayed resolutely at eye level. 'Oh I give in!' A surprisingly sharp elbow found it's way under the immobile youth's rib, wedging him out of the way as Alice burrowed onward through the crowd.
'Xander dear would you mind awfully getting me a drink?'
'Just call me, drink...getting type guy - I'll stop talking again now.'
Buffy stiffened noticeably as Alice slid along the padded bench beside her. 'I'll come with you.' She snatched her purse from it's resting place. 'Help you carry.' She shrugged and pressed a thin smile between her lips. 'What's the use of slayer powers if you can't help with basic lifting?'
Oz tilted his head as they merged into the crowd. 'Can't argue with that logic.'
'ARE YOU RRRRRRREAAAAADY ?'
The by now slightly limp MC paused for breath. 'You all know what time it is right? RIGHT?'
A mildly confused chorus of woohoos, Yeahs and various noncommittal voice modulations seemed to suggest that no, everybody did not know what time it was, but they were pretty damned buzzed about it.
'We've reached the verrrry LAST of our pre-submitted challenges. Once this Rrrrrrrrrampant young buck,' -Oz raised an eyebrow. Although this could have been a trick of the light- 'Has fought for his mate, won or lost in her name, we will be drawing all future challenges from...THE BOX.' A rather lack lustre spotlight lit up an article which, despite it's fake fur covering, was still clearly recognisable as the recently disappeared complaints box from the bar, before returning once more to the stage.
'All night men, and women...' The MC grinned into the crowd, 'have been placing their own challengers into, THE BOX, and as soon as we've completed our next feat some of those lucky names will be drawn out and given the chance to prove their potency to the bronze.' The MC gave another oily grin to the assembled young women pressed against the foot of the stage. 'But first. OZ!'
Oz stepped to the front of the stage and blinked a little as the spotlight swung round to him.
'OZ!' The MC moved in for an ingratiating shoulder squeeze and reconsidered. 'So, son, would you care to name your prize?'
Oz cleared his throat and leant forward. 'Miss Willow Rosenberg.'
'WILLOW RRRRRRRRRRRROSENBERG!'
The spotlight swung out over the crowd and picked out Willow's waving form.
'COME ON UP!'
Willow blushed as she was pulled up on stage and pushed into the aluminium foil covered 'throne' at it's centre.
Eventually the MC turned his attention once more to Oz. 'Rrrrrrreaaaaady?'
Oz shrugged.
'First, we'll go through the terms. Give you a chance to back out, After all, 'The MC turned to the crowd, 'There's bravery in knowing when to give up too right?'
'HELL NO!'
The MC grinned. 'They are of course, right. Should you give up now Willow will be returned straight to THE TRIBE!' The spotlight illuminated a baying crowd of 'skin' clad young men at the far corner of the stage. 'Should you fail in your task she will also be returned to THE TRIBE!' Once again the motley collection began to hoot in recognition of their name. 'In fact, you are going to have to try very hard indeed to keep me from returning her to THE TRIBE!'
Oz shrugged. Again.
'Young man. NAME YOUR TASK!'
Oz leant forward and spoke gently into the microphone. 'I sniff people.' He paused. 'And know where they come from.'
The MC paused thoughtfully. 'You sniff people?'
Oz gave a solemn nod.
'And you can tell where they come from?'
'In Sunnydale.'
'In Sunnydale, of course, don't want to start out to big.' The MC wiped his sunglasses and cleared his throat. 'Can we have a volunteer from the audience to be SNIFFED BY OZ!'
Buffy stared at the grunting, hooting tribe and screwed up her nose. 'Can't say I'd want to be Willow.'
They're mostly Dingoes.' Xander stepped back slightly as the crush on the dance-floor grew. 'Or in the pay of Dingoes. Oz told me.' He frowned. 'And can I take a moment to be insulted on behalf of my sex?'
'Lower north side.' Oz sniffed. 'Near the cannery.'
'CORRECT!' The MC lifted Oz's arm in victory. 'So far you have proved yourself to be a worthy, uh, sniffer. One more correct... sniffing, and you will have succeeded fully. Are you ready?'
Oz shrugged.
'So, umm, Anya is it?' Alice sorted distractedly through her handbag. 'How are you adapting to umm...'
'They took your cigarettes whilst you were in the toilet.'
'Oh.' Alice dropped her handbag on the seat next to her and leant back. 'So, um, gosh, a second crack at humanity eh? Is it...fun?'
Anya stared out with distaste at the whooping mob on the dancefloor. 'It doesn't seem to have changed much since the last time round.' She thought for a moment. 'People have better teeth now.'
Alice yawned. 'You read my mind dear...'
Oz took a deep breath and let the scents mingle in his nose. If he was going to be brutally honest with himself this wasn't going to be hard. Willow had classes with this guy. And he'd driven her to his house a couple of times. Luck of the draw.
'Uh.' Oz breathed in sharply. His stomach twisted up in knots and the hair began to stand up on the back of his neck. This, not good. He frowned as he tried to work out what was upsetting him. Jonathon smelt fine, well, as fine as a slightly tipsy, highly embarrassed, mildly sweaty, seventeen year old is ever going to smell. Human. Oz focussed in on the figures in front of him, Willow, Jonathon, Devon and the guys. He closed his eyes and began to build up pictures from the scent of them, holding on to the familiar in an attempt to steer clear of what he could feel happening. A sickness began to build in him as he felt the wolf start to rise.
'Oz?'
Oz screwed his eyes shut. The deeper darkness was creeping in at the edges of his sight, he...Stopped. Nothing. Oz cautiously opened his eyes. Mindful of the lost time of his usual transformations.
'Oz?' The MC's grin had become even more fixed than usual. 'Would you like to do your stuff now?'
Oz frowned slightly. 'Odd.' He blinked. 'Oh, uh, he lives near the Cemetery of Our lady of the Thorns. To the west of it.'
'CORRECT!'
'So.' Buffy offered her coffee to the grinning Willow. 'Uh, yay Oz?'
'Yup.' There was a moment of celebratory jiggle. 'In, uh, a totally non-demeaning, consensual, even handed way of course.'
Buffy raised an eyebrow. 'But of course.'
'Woo.' Xander returned from the bar. 'Way to make the wolf work for you.'
'Woo?'
To be continued...