Depression
Part6
Quatre was beyond panicked he was breathing so hard that he couldn't catch his breath. He hands began to shake uncontrollably. Sweat began to drip from his face. He felt like his heart was dying. When to arms came around him and held him close.
"Sshh. Calm down take a few deep breaths." When Quatre looked up he saw a pair of familiar green eyes.
After he started to calm down he hugged the boy tightly. "Trowa."
"Did you have a nightmare?" Quatre nodded his head slowly. "I woke up and you weren't there I thought. I thought."
"You thought I left?" Quatre nodded.
Trowa knew there wasn't anything he could do to reassure his love. The only thing he could do was to stick around and prove it to him. Trowa hugged Quatre tightly and said in a soft and soothing tone. "I won't leave you ever." Trowa was pulled with force down to Quatre and was kissed deeply. Quatre smiled sweetly at him and said. "I love you."
Trowa smiled and kissed Quatre on the top of his head. "I've missed you so much little one."
Trowa picked Quatre up and carried him outside.
It was such a beautiful day to be cooped up inside. Quatre didn't protest in the slightest. Trowa placed a stool by Quatre and lifted his legs onto the stool. His cuts would probly continue to be sore for a few days. They sat at a table outside and had some tea. "This is nice." Quatre commented now that he was once again calm.
"I know how much you like Tea."
Quatre smiled. "It's good but I was referring to this. Us just being here it feels nice."
"I regret leaving more than you know."
"I. I wasn't alone the whole time." Quatre looked down not wanting to meet his eyes. "I was with someone else for a short time Trowa. I made love with someone else. Are you sure you still want to stick around?"
Trowa was stunned into silence. He asked softly almost afraid of the answer. "Did. Did you love him?"
"I did and do love him but... I'm not in love with him we both just needed someone. You understand."
"I'm glad you had someone. Lets just leave it at that you don't have to tell me. I'm not going to leave you ever. I won't make that mistake again."
"Are you sure you don't want to know who? I don't want there to be any secrets between us."
"Positive. I don't want to know it's past. All that matters is now and now we love each other."
Then Trowa looked at Quatre and gave him a heart felt smile as he took his hand.
Wufei and Duo walked up to the porch and saw Trowa and Quatre smiling and enjoying the Sunlight while drinking Tea. Duo asked, "Is this something I should be concerned about?"
"What do you mean Duo?"
"For as long as I've known you Q every time I turn around you're drinking Tea. I think it's time to admit it you're a Tea aholic. Don't wait get some help now before it destroys you." Quatre and Duo laughed. "Duo." Quatre giggled. Wufei smiled as well.
Duo and Trowa went inside too make lunch while Wufei and Quatre stayed on the porch. When Trowa came back he noticed Wufei and Quatre holding hands. It made him nervous but shook himself out of it and thought. Get a hold of yourself Barton. It's just Wufei.
Wufei wasn't sure about leaving something made him feel uneasy about leaving his friend. A sudden feeling of dread that Quatre's newfound happiness would be short lived. He figured that it was just over protectiveness. Still Duo and him decided to stick close for a while longer.
It had been two weeks and Quatre and Trowa were very happy. Quatre was still depressed about his family but each day with Trowa seemed to lessen the pain a little bit more. They still hadn't made love but there really wasn't any rush.
One day when Trowa went out to get some groceries Quatre stayed home to make a special dinner. He had candles soft music and was now preparing a salad. Tonight would be special for them both. Tonight would be the night that Quatre would show him just how much he loved him. Quatre pulled out a small black box and set it on the table.
"Lets see. Ring check. Music check. Candles check. Food still cooking. Knocking check oh knocking." Quatre went to answer the door it was Catherine she walked right in without being invited.
"I see you wormed your way back into Trowel's bed. Where is my brother."
"He went out. He should be back though."
"I'll wait." She made herself at home.
"Make yourself at home."
Quatre casually covered the black box with a napkin not wanting any comment from her about it. The silence was unbearable and Katherine spoke.
"You know he's only with you because he felt sorry for you. He was happier without you. Infact working at the circus made him quite content."
"Contentment is not happiness."
"Don't talk down to me. You think you're better than everyone else because you're rich. You're nothing but a spoiled brat who went nuts because his daddy supposedly died. Poor me I'm a rich brat so I'll go try and kill the one who loves me the most. You make look like an innocent but in truth you as bad as OZ was. That's probly why your father tried to kill you because he new how bad you were." Quatre had tears falling down his face.
He bowed his head in shame. "Not to mention a crybaby." She laughed.
"That's enough!" yelled Trowa who came in after hearing almost everything. "Trowa I'm glad you're here. I have something important to tell you." She said with a smile.
"Quatre are you all right?" Trowa asked as he kneeled in front of him and wiped his tears. Quatre nodded but didn't look up. Trowa turned to Catherine. "What's so important?"
"Brother you can't trust him. He fucked Wufei while you were apart who knows how long he was cheating on you. He's a big spoiled brat who happens to be a cheater." Quatre's head had snapped up How did she find out.
"Get out." Trowa said softly.
"Trowa?" Katherine asked.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he yelled at her. She left but was completely satisfied with herself.
Trowa began to pace back in fourth in front of Quatre making him very nervous. When he finally stopped Quatre could see the anger in his face. "Is it true?"
"Yes I did sleep with Wufei."
"You should have told me."
"But Trowa you said you didn't want to know. I wanted to don't you remember?"
"Were you sleeping with him when we were together?"
"No Trowa no. I love you and only you. I swear don't you trust me?"
"You fucked Wufei. You said you were with someone and it didn't matter but now that I know it was Wufei it changes things."
"What? Why?"
"It just does." Trowa ran out the front door and drove away. Quatre began to shake the room suddenly felt so small he had to get out. He left he had to get away.
Trowa drove and drove he just needed to think and once he thought about it he realized what an idiot he had been and decided to go back.
Quatre walked and walked endlessly not knowing where to go. He was pale and death was becoming an appealing thought. He stepped in front of an on coming truck and waited for it to hit him. When a figure pushed him out of the way. The boy walked over to him and checked him over.
"Quatre are you all right?" Quatre looked up into familiar eyes. Eyes of a friend he hadn't seen in a while but had missed. His friend helped him up and set him in his car. "OK Quatre what happened?"
"Heero why do I always screw things up? Why am I bad?"
Quatre began to rock back and fourth chanting. "I'm bad. I'm bad."
He was shaking now and Heero drove him to his motel room. He carried him to the bed once there he covered Quatre. Quatre was shivering yet sweating. Heero immediately called a Sally and asked he what to do.
Every since the attack on Quatre Heero had been watching over him. He knew what a deep heart Quatre had and was concerned for him. He was afraid his kind heart would be overwhelmed by all the tragedy in his life.
When Heero first met Quatre he didn't think he would last long. Quatre was compassionate and compassion and war just didn't mix. He remembered that Quatre was the first person to truly want to be his friend and didn't expect anything in return.
He deeply regretted his night with Trowa. He was concerned that if it got back to Quatre he would lose him as a friend. After speaking with Sally Heero sent out for some medicine and watched over his friend. Quatre was going through an emotional breakdown.
TBC? Or not is anyone still reading?