* * * * * * * * * * *
Obi-Wan sat in
his room reading a datapad for class. It had only been a couple of weeks since
his Master had left but still he was tense and nervous. He didn't know Master
Jinn very much, and all that Obi-Wan wanted was to stay out of trouble. Another
beating was not something he wanted, considering he still had the marks from
the last one. Sure, the pain had left but the scars remained on his back and as
far as he could tell they would be there forever.
He would have
been in the main room reading but he wasn't comfortable during that. During the
last months that Na'em had been here, Obi-Wan had been afraid to remain in the
main room of the quarters for fear of doing something that would anger the
Master. He didn't know how Master Jinn would react to misdemeanors but he
certainly didn't want to find out.
"It's getting
late Obi-Wan. Perhaps you ought to retire for the night." Qui-Gon said from the
door way in his usually low voice.
"Yes sir."
The Jedi
Master watched the boy quietly. This wasn't the same Obi-Wan that he had seen
fighting to become a Padawan so many months ago. Instead this boy was quieter,
and more nervous. Something had happened while staying with Na'em that the rest
of the Temple didn't know about, something very bad. He was jerked out of his
disconcerting thoughts by Obi-Wan's quiet voice.
"Are we going
to be practicing in the gym tomorrow Master Jinn?"
"I thought I'd
give you the day off. We had a pretty hard workout this afternoon. Tomorrow
evening will just be for relaxing." Qui-Gon replied. From the boy's startled
expression he decided that Na'em must not be real big on breaks.
Obi-Wan bowed
and murmured a quiet "thank you sir" before putting away his datapad. Master
Jinn seemed to be a much kinder man than his own Master. Na'em would never have
given him an evening just for relaxation. But things were not always as they
seemed. The boy remembered how he had once thought that Na'em was one of the
kindest men he knew. How stupid and naïve he had been so many months ago. He
wasn't going to let himself be fooled again; there was no way he would be that
stupid once more…
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next
evening Obi-Wan sat at the table in his quarters, finishing up his assignments,
and waiting for Master Jinn to return. Once the Jedi Knight got here they would
eat and then the boy would be free to do as he pleased, as long as he was back
by eight o'clock.
When Qui-Gon
came through the door Obi-Wan glanced up with a smile but when he saw the look
on the Jedi Master's face his own smile fell. There was something wrong.
Qui-Gon had a sense of dread and sorrow about him, as though the worst had just
happened.
"What's wrong
Master Jinn?" Obi-Wan asked, hurrying towards the elder.
"Nothing
Obi-Wan, I'm sure everything will be okay." Qui-Gon said quietly.
"What will be
okay? What are you worried about Master Jinn?"
"I'm not even
sure that there is anything to be worried about anyway." The Jedi Master forced
a smile; "You just have fun for the evening."
"Are you sure
you're okay?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice full of concern.
"Yes,
everything should be fine. Now go have some fun." Qui-Gon patted Obi-Wan on the
shoulder and was surprised when the boy stiffened. He actually seemed to be
scared of him! But before the Master could comment Obi-Wan pulled away,
"If you're sure
everything is okay then I'll go. I'm supposed to meet Bant at the lake anyway."
Obi-Wan whispered, heading towards the door.
Qui-Gon
nodded, "Have fun." He said, but Obi-Wan had already hurried out the door. Why
did he stiffen like that? Have I done something to frighten him? Qui-Gon's
thoughts bothered him and replayed over and over in his head, no matter how
hard he fought them away. He knew that something was wrong; he had a gut
feeling about it, but what the exact incident was he didn't know…
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ten minutes
after eight o'clock Obi-Wan came hurrying into the quarters. Qui-Gon was
surprised that the boy hadn't tried to sneak in as most young Padawan's do when
they are tardy. He wondered if he would have to say something to the boy about
punctuality. However, he needn't have worried for Obi-Wan brought it up himself
the minute he walked through the door.
"I'm sorry
Master Jinn for my tardiness." Obi-Wan said quickly, hoping the older man
wouldn't be too very angry with him.
Qui-Gon waited
for an explanation. After a couple of quiet, uncomfortable minutes he spoke
again, "Do you wish to explain why you were late?" He asked.
Obi-Wan looked
up, surprised. He wasn't usually asked for a reason, most of the time Na'em
just reacted without waiting for an explanation. "Well sir, I was stopped in
the hall by a friend and they wanted some help on a problem in our Diplomatic
Class. We talked about it for a few minutes and by the time I finished
explaining it was already a few minutes after eight. I'm sorry I wasn't quicker
and if you're angry with me I fully understand." He said quietly.
"I'm not angry
Obi-Wan. Why would I be? You just stopped to help a friend. That is a good
reason to be late, and it isn't like you were hours late, it's only ten
minutes." Qui-Gon's voice was calm and smooth, not a hint of anger in it. But
Obi-Wan knew better than to believe that, if he did he knew what would happen.
In a few days Qui-Gon would become controlling and start the angry mood swings
just like his own Master. Then the beatings would start again and he'd spend
the days scared to go back to his quarters and the evenings afraid that tonight
would be the night that he died from one of the man's rages…
"Thank you
sir. If it's alright with you I'll be going to bed now." Obi-Wan's voice was
quiet and respectful and, was that a hint of fear in his voice?
"That's fine
Obi-Wan. I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night
Master Jinn." With a quick bow the boy hurried to his room where he could hide
in his safety corner.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
For the next
few days Qui-Gon was preoccupied and worried. The Force around him seemed to be
filled with a strange sorrow, either that or his feelings would be blocked off
completely. Obi-Wan noticed this and watched the older man carefully. When
Na'em had been like this he had suddenly gotten over it and that's when the
mood swings had started. Because of that the boy kept an eye on Qui-Gon, in
hopes that he could avoid an angry outburst when it finally came.
One night,
several days after Obi-Wan started keeping watch on the Jedi Master, he was
awakened in the middle of the night by the communication unit beeping. He
strained to hear what was being said but Master Jinn's voice was too quiet.
Suddenly he felt a burst of regret and distress before it disappeared. Almost
instantly he hurried out into the main room, only to find the conversation
over.
"Master Jinn?"
He asked hesitantly.
Qui-Gon turned
to the boy with a sad look in his eyes, "Sit down Obi-Wan, I need to speak with
you about something." Qui-Gon's voice was neutral and void of any emotion but
they both knew that there was sorrow hidden beneath
When the boy
had complied Qui-Gon turned toward him, "We have received news today about the
planet where your Master had been for his mission. While he was there,
attempting to bring peace between two fighting races, war broke out. He was
caught in the middle, at the front lines." Here Qui-Gon stopped. He truly
didn't understand why the Council had chosen him to be the bearer of bad news.
Perhaps it was because he was staying with Obi-Wan, or perhaps it was because
of his fondness for the boy that Master Yoda sensed, whichever it was he was
wishing it hadn't existed. He just knew that this would break the poor child's
heart; it wasn't easy receiving word like this.
"Please sir,
what happened?" Obi-Wan choked out.
"There were
too many blaster's Obi-Wan, too many weapons. A Jedi cannot defend off that all
that shooting with just a lightsaber, not even a Jedi Master." Qui-Gon paused
before continuing, "He was killed a couple of hours ago. They haven't returned
his body yet but we are hoping the tribe holding it will have the kindness to
allow him a proper Jedi funeral."
Obi-Wan stared
in surprise and shock, Master Na'em dead? Dead? This had to be a joke! "Please don't toy with me like this
Master Jinn. This is the cruelest joke I've ever heard." He managed to choke
out.
"Please
Obi-Wan, forgive me for bringing you this ill news, but it is not a cruel joke.
Every word I speak is the truth." Qui-Gon's voice was laced with grief.
"Then it's
true? He's really dead? Master Na'em will never come back?"
"Yes Obi-Wan,
it's true. Didn't you feel his death? Didn't you feel anything at all through
your bond?" Qui-Gon asked, confused now.
"I don't have
a very good bond with my Master, I didn't feel anything." The boy mumbled
truthfully. Well, it was at least half-truth. He didn't feel anything
but at the same time he didn't have any sort of a bond with his Master at all.
His pride and embarrassment kept him from telling Qui-Gon that though.
"You didn't
feel anything?" Qui-Gon asked, awed.
"No sir. Not a
thing. Are you sure he's dead?" Obi-Wan responded.
Qui-Gon nodded
sadly, "Yes child, he's dead."
At those words
tears began to fall from Obi-Wan's eyes. Slowly they rolled down his cheeks and
off his chin. The more he tried to control the tears the more fell, but this
weren't the same tears of pain that he had cried so many times during the past
few months after a beating. Instead these were tears of happiness, even though
he knew that it had to be wrong he couldn't control it. No more of his
rages, no more of his beatings, no more of my Master…Suddenly he got
fearful, he didn't have a Master anymore! "M…master Jinn, Master Jinn what will
happen to me now?"
Qui-Gon shook
his head quietly; the boy's open grief shocked him. Na'em must have meant a lot
to this child, "I'm not sure Obi-Wan, we'll probably find out about that later.
At this moment the Council hasn't made a decision, perhaps you may be placed
with another Master, or you may be given a mission someplace else."
"You mean the
Agri-Corps." Obi-Wan whispered.
"Yes, I am
speaking of the Agri-Corps."
At these words
Obi-Wan's tears came out in a rush, only this time they weren't the tears of
joy that had been flowing minute before, but tears of fear, confusion and most
of all abandonment…
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Qui-Gon's heart melted at the sight of this
boy crying. Gently he hugged the boy but was surprised when Obi-Wan stiffened
and pulled away, once again avoiding physical contact. "I'm sorry Obi-Wan. I
promise I'll do everything I can to help bring back your Master's body and I'll
do what I can to help you stay here at the Temple. You're a bright boy and
Agri-Corps would be a waste of your talents if you ask me." Qui-Gon said as
kindly as he could. He wanted so much to encourage the boy but nothing seemed
to be working.
Obi-Wan seemed
to get a hold of himself when Qui-Gon spoke, "I'm sorry Master Jinn for my
emotional outburst. It seems I'm just tired and this news was shocking. Thank
you for you encouragement but I'm sure I'll be fine, and I don't want to cause
anyone any problems. If it's alright with you sir I'd like to go back to bed. I
have a busy day tomorrow." He said, his voice strangely distant and slightly
cold.
Qui-Gon could
only nod. The poor boy! He's in shock and he's taking this so hard! I knew
it would be painful but I didn't know it would be this bad. The poor boy…
"If you want Obi-Wan, you can sleep in tomorrow morning. You can be excused
from you classes for the next couple of days if you wish." The Knight said as
soon as he got his voice.
The boy turned
from the door of his room, "Thank you but no thanks. I can continue with my
classes, I wouldn't want to fall behind." He whispered before disappearing into
the safety of his room and his special corner.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
For the next
two weeks Obi-Wan continued through his regular routine but he did it without a
thought. At first it was as though he was a droid, following orders but not
fully comprehending. Sure, he was capable of conversation but he was still shocked.
Later he became more came out of the shock but he stayed withdrawn and quiet,
even more so than usual. It won't take long he thought before they
decide to send me to Agri-Corps. Then everything I ever worked for will be
over. I almost wish Master was here…These thoughts pained him because more
than anything he didn't want Na'em back – but if it would be all that
kept him from Agri-Corps he could gladly accept it.
Qui-Gon
remained with Obi-Was as his guardian and temporary Master. He had a strange
fondness for this boy and he didn't want to leave him alone. What he wanted was
to stay with Obi-Wan and find out what was wrong with him. Find out why he was
like this and what was going on. Finally Qui-Gon realized what he truly wanted.
For weeks the Force had been whispering to him, telling him something and now
he knew what it was.
The Jedi
Master waited for a few days, and on one of Obi-Wan's better days, a day when
he was a little more open and cheerful, Qui-Gon pulled him aside in their
quarters to talk to him. "Obi-Wan I have an important question to ask you." He
began. Obi-Wan waited and the Qui-Gon continued, "I want to know, Obi-Wan
Kenobi, if you would like to become my Padawan Learner." There, he had said it!
Now all he had to do was wait for the boy's answer.
Obi-Wan stared
at Qui-Gon with surprise, is he truly asking me? Can I trust him? Will he
hurt me like Na'em?
Of course
he's asking you, you idiot! Who else would he be asking! And besides, would you
rather risk being with him or do you want to go to Agri-Corps and loose
everything? His brain argued back at him.
But I don't
want to be hurt again! I trusted Na'em and then he hurt me so bad! What if
Qui-Gon does that to me? I wouldn't be able to take it!
Qui-Gon
doesn't have a dead apprentice to send him into bad mood swings. If you behave
everything will be all right. Besides, if you need to you'll always be able to
retreat here, in the back of your mind. It's always safe here – accept!
All right,
I'll accept. Obi-Wan finally finished arguing with
himself and turned bright blue eye to his new Master, "Yes Master Jinn, I would
be honored to be your Padawan Learner." The boy said respectfully, and with a
slight bit of hope in his voice.
Qui-Gon patted
the boy on the shoulder with a smile, "Come along then Padawan, lets get your
things and we can move into your new quarters."
As those words
were spoken something in Obi-Wan snapped and he slipped his hand into
Qui-Gon's. Somehow those words, the encouragement and kindness behind them,
broke his fear but it was the love that finished it off. It was the love that
let him realize that all would be okay. Na'em had never called him Padawan, not
even once, but Qui-Gon had said it right away, and Qui-Gon loved him.
Qui-Gon
glanced at the boy in surprise and then smiled. This boy would someday make a
great Jedi and he would have been the one to train him. Gently he squeezed
Obi-Wan's hand before he started to establish a bond between the two. As their
minds connected he could feel Obi-Wan's awe and amazement. Apparently he truly hadn't
had any sort of a bond with Na'em before. The Jedi Master smiled again as
Obi-Wan reached out for his mind, experimenting with their new bond. Now their
bond was truly started and they were beginning a new life together. A new life
that would hopefully remain happy forever…
