Transformers: Mr. Autobot 2000
By Peter J Strzelecki
Earth, roughly one year ago...
Open on: Autobot city. Optimus Prime confers with Jazz, Sunstreaker, Tracks and Grimlock. Tracks is in car form.
Grimlock: Me no believe this!
Jazz: Chill out, Grimlock, my man.
Grimlock: There four million year old war going on and you tell Grimlock to chill out?
Optimus Prime: Even the Autobots need recreation, Grimlock.
Grimlock: But Mr. Autobot 2000 contest? This ridiculous!
Tracks: You're just jealous because you don't have a car form!
Sunstreaker: Hey, then again, no Autobot with a car form has one as nice as mine!
Grimlock: No Autobot gonna have bruise as nice as your when me Grimlock finished with you!
Optimus Prime: Enough. I approve the event... and assign the Dinobots as guards!
Grimlock: What?
Jazz: Heh, heh. What's the matter? Afraid you'll become infected with happiness?
We zoom out to see Lazerbeak, watching over the Autobots.
Grimlock (vo): Ridiculous!
Lazerbeak takes off and flies towards Decepticon city. Cut to: Lazerbeak returns and transforms to tape mode, landing inside Soundwave. Soundwave transforms into tape mode and plays back some of the conversation.
Grimlock (vo): But Mr. Autobot 2000 contest? This ridiculous!
Optimus Prime (vo): I approve the event...and assign the Dinobots as guards!
Soundwave reverts to robot mode. He is flanked by Servant and Hook.
Hook: It was wise of Megatron to send you back to earth Soundwave... our prior espionage system was...
Hook looks towards Servant purposefully.
Hook: Ineffective!
Servant: The Master does not share your views! Soundwave's presence will only complicate things!
Soundwave: What is Trypticon's assesment of this Mr. Autobot 2000 contest?
Hook: Sounds like the perfect opportunity to strike!
Servant: Trypticon's assemsment is that Hook should get back to working on the new fusion generator!
Hook: Bah!
Hook wanders away.
Servant: He also assesses that Soundwave should return to Cybertron and stay there!
Soundwave: Trypticon reportedly destroyed the former fusion generator in a fit of rage. Megatron will not tolerate...
Servant: Listen, Soundwave! Trypticon is supplying more energy to Cybertron than your pet fool Ratbat ever did!
Soundwave stares at Servant silently.
Servant: Don't think you can use one incident to find cause to restore Ratbat to his former command!
Soundwave: What is Trypticon's assesment of the Mr. Autobot 2000 contest?
Servant: The Master's job is energy collection, not tending to Autobot beauty pageants.
Servant leaves Soundwave, who himself wanders away. As soon as Soundwave is hidden behind some rocks, he ejects Ratbat, who transforms to bat mode.
Ratbat: I hate Trypticon!
Soundwave: I believe the feeling is mutual, Ratbat.
Ratbat: Still, we've gotten this far. There must be some way to fully play Trypticon's intemperance to our advantage!
Soundwave: His own troops are against him already.
Ratbat: Yes, but as long as he continues to supply Megatron with energy, his incorrigible temper will be overlooked.
Soundwave: Ergo, we must provide Megatron with yet more energy...
Ratbat: And subsequently demonstrate Trypticon's incompetence yet again.
Soundwave: I believe this Mr. Autobot 2000 contest may just do both!
Ratbat and Soundwave fly off. We pan away as they leave, we see a sonic-radar on Decepticon city, and the city rumbles as Trypticon growls.
Trypticon: Roadgrabber...
Roadgrabber: Y-yes, Master?
Trypticon: You have your assignment!
Roadgrabber: With pleasure.
Cut To: Swoop flies over the contest perimeter. We zoom in to see Slag and Grimlock, dino modes, standing about.
Slag: Me Slag rather stomp Decepticons!
Grimlock: Me agree. Stupid contest no deserve Dinobot guards!
From afar, a number sleek cars races down the speedway. The bleachers are filled by Ironhide, Inferno, Ratchet, Grapple, Trailbreaker and the mini-cars. Optimus Prime addresses the crowd.
Optimus Prime: Fellow Autobots, welcome to the first of it's kind; Mr. Autobot 2000 contest!
Crowd: cheers
Optimus Prime: You have fought on this earth for the cause of peace with freedom for fifteen hard years...
In the distance, Soundwave lands with Ratbat.
Optimus Prime (vo): Now I bid you...
Focus in on Soundwave who ejects Frenzy and Lazerbeak.
Optimus Prime (vo): ... A pleasant event!
Soundwave: Lazerbeak, Frenzy, dispatch!
The two warriors scurry off. We focus in on Sunstreaker, Tracks, Sideswipe, Jazz and Wheeljack who roar in. Then, out of nowhere, Mirage appears and takes the lead. He coasts in first, with the other Autobots close behind, lifting a trail of dirt.
Jazz: Man! Where'd Mirage come from!
Mirage: Hey, I don't have my name for nothing, Jazz!
Sunstreaker: Yeah, and I don't have my paint job for nothing! Watch the dirt!
Sideswipe: Take it easy bro'!
Wheeljack: Yeah, he won't win the next event!
Optimus Prime: Next we have...
Roadgrabber (vo): Demolition derby.
The Autobots are shocked and look up to see Roadgrabber, car mode.
Tracks: What is that abomination?
Roadgrabber roars in, smashing through Wheeljack and Jazz! The other Autobots peel rubber!
Sideswipe: Where are the Dinobots?!
Sunstreaker: Those dim wits left their posts!
Ironhide: Hey! That varmint!
Ratchet: We just can't get a break!
Trailbreaker: Well...
Trailbreaker transforms.
Trailbreaker: I'm gonna give that thing a break!
Trailbreaker rolls towards Roadgrabber and rams him, but is thrown away. Ironhide and the others also transform and follow suite.
Powerglide: Master of the ground you may be...
Powerglide transforms to jet mode and takes to the air.
Powerglide: But the skies belong to me!
Powerglide fires at the vehicle.
Roadgrabber is tossed about about comes to a hault.
Roadgrabber: Think again, Autobot!
Roadgrabber opens his door and jumps out, transforming into a jet. He takes to the air and shoots down Powerglide!
Optimus Prime: A Decepticon Pretender!
We pan away to Ratbat and Soundwave.
Ratbat: No! What is he doing here?
Soundwave: Do not fear. The situation is still salvageable.
Cut To: Roadgrabber plows through the Autobot cars and towards Optimus Prime. Prime transforms into truck mode and revs his engines.
Optimus Prime: You don't want to mess with this, Decepticon!
Prime accelerates towards Roadgrabber.
Roadgrabber (jet): I have no intention of doing so, Autobot!
Roadgrabber (jet) transforms to robot, and his car transforms into a battle station. He aims his missile launchers. Prime realizes what's going on and gasps, swerving to the right. Roadgrabber fires, blasting Prime's trailer! Optimus Prime (truck) transforms to robot, groggy.
Optimus Prime: Ughh...
Roadgrabber: Hah! The Autobots are defeated at my hands!
Optimus Prime jumps at Roadgrabber, picking up his battle station and tossing it aside. Roadgrabber levitates in the air.
Optimus Prime: Never!
Roadgrabber: Blast you Optimus Prime!
Roadgrabber transforms to jet mode and shoots Prime, then reverts to robot mode.
Roadgrabber: And I do mean blast you! Hah, hah, hah!
Roadgrabber lands. We zoom in behind him to Ratbat and Frenzy. Frenzy is attaching tubes to the fallen Autobots (Jazz, Mirage, Wheeljack). All the tubes lead back to a strange machine.
Ratbat: Faster Frenzy! We cannot be seen!
Frenzy: Geez, Roadgrabber's great! I hope he smashes Optimus Prime...
Ratbat: Focus on the task at hand!
Roadgrabber kicks Optimus Prime.
Roadgrabber: Now, you...uh?
Roadgrabber spots Frenzy and Ratbat.
Roadgrabber: Oh, yes. Lest I forget what Trypticon sent me here for!
Ratbat: What? Trypticon sent you after us? How dare he?
Roadgrabber: Well, what's this?
Focus on the pumps and the machine.
Roadgrabber (vo): Draining those poor Autobots of their energy, are we?
Suddenly, Roadgrabber has a gun sticking in the back of his head. It is Soundwave.
Soundwave: Affirmative. Energy which, once delivered to Megatron, will ensure Ratbat's return to command of earth operations!
Roadgrabber: No!
Soundwave blasts Roadgrabber. Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Sunstreaker and Tracks rise with weapons ready.
Frenzy: The Autobots, they're back on their feet!
Ratbat: We have the energy from these three! Our mission is complete!
Soundwave: Decepticons, retreat!
The three Decepticons fly away. Cut To: Decepticon City. Soundwave, Ratbat, Frenzy and Lazerbeak all land. To their surprise, Megatron and the fliers are already there, with Roadgrabber, who stands proudly in his chariot.
Megatron: Ah, Soundwave! I trust you have the energon from the successful raid that Roadgrabber valiantly led!
Soundwave: You...live?
Roadgrabber: Yes. I knew you'd be worried, but I told you it was more important you escaped with the energy while I covered your retreat.
Soundwave: But how...?
Roadgrabber: Thankfully Commander Trypticon wisely kept radio contact, and evacuated me using the space sword.
Servant: Effecting repairs was not difficult using Trypticon's advanced medical facility.
Megatron: Yes. Roadgrabber; for bravery in combat and the willingness to sacrfice yourself for the Decepticon cause, I Megatron, award you the Decepticon Medal of Military Honor!
Ratbat: Unbelievable!
Starscream: And, for your valiant efforts against the Autobots, we managed to steal this while retrieving your body with the space sword...
Starscream pulls out an Autobot trophy marked Mr. Autobot 2000
Starscream: We feel it's only fitting you be recognized...hehe..heeh...as Mr. Autobot 2000!
Roadgrabber takes the trophy and holds it up. Soundwave raises and clenches his fist. We focus in on Roadgrabber, then the trophy marked Mr. Autobot 2000.
END.
By Peter J Strzelecki
Earth, roughly one year ago...
Open on: Autobot city. Optimus Prime confers with Jazz, Sunstreaker, Tracks and Grimlock. Tracks is in car form.
Grimlock: Me no believe this!
Jazz: Chill out, Grimlock, my man.
Grimlock: There four million year old war going on and you tell Grimlock to chill out?
Optimus Prime: Even the Autobots need recreation, Grimlock.
Grimlock: But Mr. Autobot 2000 contest? This ridiculous!
Tracks: You're just jealous because you don't have a car form!
Sunstreaker: Hey, then again, no Autobot with a car form has one as nice as mine!
Grimlock: No Autobot gonna have bruise as nice as your when me Grimlock finished with you!
Optimus Prime: Enough. I approve the event... and assign the Dinobots as guards!
Grimlock: What?
Jazz: Heh, heh. What's the matter? Afraid you'll become infected with happiness?
We zoom out to see Lazerbeak, watching over the Autobots.
Grimlock (vo): Ridiculous!
Lazerbeak takes off and flies towards Decepticon city. Cut to: Lazerbeak returns and transforms to tape mode, landing inside Soundwave. Soundwave transforms into tape mode and plays back some of the conversation.
Grimlock (vo): But Mr. Autobot 2000 contest? This ridiculous!
Optimus Prime (vo): I approve the event...and assign the Dinobots as guards!
Soundwave reverts to robot mode. He is flanked by Servant and Hook.
Hook: It was wise of Megatron to send you back to earth Soundwave... our prior espionage system was...
Hook looks towards Servant purposefully.
Hook: Ineffective!
Servant: The Master does not share your views! Soundwave's presence will only complicate things!
Soundwave: What is Trypticon's assesment of this Mr. Autobot 2000 contest?
Hook: Sounds like the perfect opportunity to strike!
Servant: Trypticon's assemsment is that Hook should get back to working on the new fusion generator!
Hook: Bah!
Hook wanders away.
Servant: He also assesses that Soundwave should return to Cybertron and stay there!
Soundwave: Trypticon reportedly destroyed the former fusion generator in a fit of rage. Megatron will not tolerate...
Servant: Listen, Soundwave! Trypticon is supplying more energy to Cybertron than your pet fool Ratbat ever did!
Soundwave stares at Servant silently.
Servant: Don't think you can use one incident to find cause to restore Ratbat to his former command!
Soundwave: What is Trypticon's assesment of the Mr. Autobot 2000 contest?
Servant: The Master's job is energy collection, not tending to Autobot beauty pageants.
Servant leaves Soundwave, who himself wanders away. As soon as Soundwave is hidden behind some rocks, he ejects Ratbat, who transforms to bat mode.
Ratbat: I hate Trypticon!
Soundwave: I believe the feeling is mutual, Ratbat.
Ratbat: Still, we've gotten this far. There must be some way to fully play Trypticon's intemperance to our advantage!
Soundwave: His own troops are against him already.
Ratbat: Yes, but as long as he continues to supply Megatron with energy, his incorrigible temper will be overlooked.
Soundwave: Ergo, we must provide Megatron with yet more energy...
Ratbat: And subsequently demonstrate Trypticon's incompetence yet again.
Soundwave: I believe this Mr. Autobot 2000 contest may just do both!
Ratbat and Soundwave fly off. We pan away as they leave, we see a sonic-radar on Decepticon city, and the city rumbles as Trypticon growls.
Trypticon: Roadgrabber...
Roadgrabber: Y-yes, Master?
Trypticon: You have your assignment!
Roadgrabber: With pleasure.
Cut To: Swoop flies over the contest perimeter. We zoom in to see Slag and Grimlock, dino modes, standing about.
Slag: Me Slag rather stomp Decepticons!
Grimlock: Me agree. Stupid contest no deserve Dinobot guards!
From afar, a number sleek cars races down the speedway. The bleachers are filled by Ironhide, Inferno, Ratchet, Grapple, Trailbreaker and the mini-cars. Optimus Prime addresses the crowd.
Optimus Prime: Fellow Autobots, welcome to the first of it's kind; Mr. Autobot 2000 contest!
Crowd: cheers
Optimus Prime: You have fought on this earth for the cause of peace with freedom for fifteen hard years...
In the distance, Soundwave lands with Ratbat.
Optimus Prime (vo): Now I bid you...
Focus in on Soundwave who ejects Frenzy and Lazerbeak.
Optimus Prime (vo): ... A pleasant event!
Soundwave: Lazerbeak, Frenzy, dispatch!
The two warriors scurry off. We focus in on Sunstreaker, Tracks, Sideswipe, Jazz and Wheeljack who roar in. Then, out of nowhere, Mirage appears and takes the lead. He coasts in first, with the other Autobots close behind, lifting a trail of dirt.
Jazz: Man! Where'd Mirage come from!
Mirage: Hey, I don't have my name for nothing, Jazz!
Sunstreaker: Yeah, and I don't have my paint job for nothing! Watch the dirt!
Sideswipe: Take it easy bro'!
Wheeljack: Yeah, he won't win the next event!
Optimus Prime: Next we have...
Roadgrabber (vo): Demolition derby.
The Autobots are shocked and look up to see Roadgrabber, car mode.
Tracks: What is that abomination?
Roadgrabber roars in, smashing through Wheeljack and Jazz! The other Autobots peel rubber!
Sideswipe: Where are the Dinobots?!
Sunstreaker: Those dim wits left their posts!
Ironhide: Hey! That varmint!
Ratchet: We just can't get a break!
Trailbreaker: Well...
Trailbreaker transforms.
Trailbreaker: I'm gonna give that thing a break!
Trailbreaker rolls towards Roadgrabber and rams him, but is thrown away. Ironhide and the others also transform and follow suite.
Powerglide: Master of the ground you may be...
Powerglide transforms to jet mode and takes to the air.
Powerglide: But the skies belong to me!
Powerglide fires at the vehicle.
Roadgrabber is tossed about about comes to a hault.
Roadgrabber: Think again, Autobot!
Roadgrabber opens his door and jumps out, transforming into a jet. He takes to the air and shoots down Powerglide!
Optimus Prime: A Decepticon Pretender!
We pan away to Ratbat and Soundwave.
Ratbat: No! What is he doing here?
Soundwave: Do not fear. The situation is still salvageable.
Cut To: Roadgrabber plows through the Autobot cars and towards Optimus Prime. Prime transforms into truck mode and revs his engines.
Optimus Prime: You don't want to mess with this, Decepticon!
Prime accelerates towards Roadgrabber.
Roadgrabber (jet): I have no intention of doing so, Autobot!
Roadgrabber (jet) transforms to robot, and his car transforms into a battle station. He aims his missile launchers. Prime realizes what's going on and gasps, swerving to the right. Roadgrabber fires, blasting Prime's trailer! Optimus Prime (truck) transforms to robot, groggy.
Optimus Prime: Ughh...
Roadgrabber: Hah! The Autobots are defeated at my hands!
Optimus Prime jumps at Roadgrabber, picking up his battle station and tossing it aside. Roadgrabber levitates in the air.
Optimus Prime: Never!
Roadgrabber: Blast you Optimus Prime!
Roadgrabber transforms to jet mode and shoots Prime, then reverts to robot mode.
Roadgrabber: And I do mean blast you! Hah, hah, hah!
Roadgrabber lands. We zoom in behind him to Ratbat and Frenzy. Frenzy is attaching tubes to the fallen Autobots (Jazz, Mirage, Wheeljack). All the tubes lead back to a strange machine.
Ratbat: Faster Frenzy! We cannot be seen!
Frenzy: Geez, Roadgrabber's great! I hope he smashes Optimus Prime...
Ratbat: Focus on the task at hand!
Roadgrabber kicks Optimus Prime.
Roadgrabber: Now, you...uh?
Roadgrabber spots Frenzy and Ratbat.
Roadgrabber: Oh, yes. Lest I forget what Trypticon sent me here for!
Ratbat: What? Trypticon sent you after us? How dare he?
Roadgrabber: Well, what's this?
Focus on the pumps and the machine.
Roadgrabber (vo): Draining those poor Autobots of their energy, are we?
Suddenly, Roadgrabber has a gun sticking in the back of his head. It is Soundwave.
Soundwave: Affirmative. Energy which, once delivered to Megatron, will ensure Ratbat's return to command of earth operations!
Roadgrabber: No!
Soundwave blasts Roadgrabber. Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Sunstreaker and Tracks rise with weapons ready.
Frenzy: The Autobots, they're back on their feet!
Ratbat: We have the energy from these three! Our mission is complete!
Soundwave: Decepticons, retreat!
The three Decepticons fly away. Cut To: Decepticon City. Soundwave, Ratbat, Frenzy and Lazerbeak all land. To their surprise, Megatron and the fliers are already there, with Roadgrabber, who stands proudly in his chariot.
Megatron: Ah, Soundwave! I trust you have the energon from the successful raid that Roadgrabber valiantly led!
Soundwave: You...live?
Roadgrabber: Yes. I knew you'd be worried, but I told you it was more important you escaped with the energy while I covered your retreat.
Soundwave: But how...?
Roadgrabber: Thankfully Commander Trypticon wisely kept radio contact, and evacuated me using the space sword.
Servant: Effecting repairs was not difficult using Trypticon's advanced medical facility.
Megatron: Yes. Roadgrabber; for bravery in combat and the willingness to sacrfice yourself for the Decepticon cause, I Megatron, award you the Decepticon Medal of Military Honor!
Ratbat: Unbelievable!
Starscream: And, for your valiant efforts against the Autobots, we managed to steal this while retrieving your body with the space sword...
Starscream pulls out an Autobot trophy marked Mr. Autobot 2000
Starscream: We feel it's only fitting you be recognized...hehe..heeh...as Mr. Autobot 2000!
Roadgrabber takes the trophy and holds it up. Soundwave raises and clenches his fist. We focus in on Roadgrabber, then the trophy marked Mr. Autobot 2000.
END.